Brother's Bond By Blood
by jensensgirl3
Summary: The choice's Dean makes will come back to haunt him, on who he can trust the most to have his back. The decision he made will cost him what he loves the most, the story takes place after Southern Comfort. Theme of suicide in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Dean had to make a choice about whom he wanted to hunt with; he needed to trust the person to have his back. The choice he makes will come back to haunt him, having to choose between which person he can trust the most. When things go South will he learn this lesson the hard way, or will he loose what matters most to him? This takes place after Southern Comfort.**

 **~~~SPN~~~**

Baton Rouge, Louisiana is a town rich in culture; fine foods, nightlife full of music, drinking, and dancing. Who would think a town like this will be a nesting place for Vampires? They would walk the streets at night looking for their next meal, waiting for careless victims to be by themselves before they make their move. Mostly in dark alleys were they won't be seen feeding on their prey, were they can drink without being bothered by anyone.

Some would go down the quiet outskirts of the back streets, away from the hustle and bustle of the main town. Searching for homes that would be the ideal place to have their meal, while others would go into parks, cemeteries to find their prey. Once in awhile they would find some people walking through the cemetery, taking a short cut to their houses as not to walk around. There they have more privacy to take their time as they feed, they wouldn't have to worry about anyone bothering them.

On a cool October night two from the nest were checking out the cemetery, there was no clouds in the sky with a full moon and stars. With the big Oak Trees with Spanish moss hanging from the tree limbs, it looked like a place from the old horror movies on T.V. The moon-bright glow bathed the area where they where, looking out they could see all the head stones, statues, the wall on the other side. Most of the nights the place was so dark you couldn't see two feet in front of you, this night the skies were clear for them to see. Hearing movement to the left of the wall they were sitting on, smelling the air to see what was coming towards them. Catching the sent of a human they hid behind two of the head stones, listening carefully they could tell the person was heading their way. What got them a little confused is when they heard two other voices, how could there be three people when they only smell one human.

One of the Vampires peek around his hiding spot to have a better look, as he did he caught sight of three men. One was wearing a jacket with blue jeans, the other a trench coat; the third was wearing a heavy coat with a cap. Taking a good look at the man he knew now why he only smelled one human, he knew who the other man is since they had work together in the past. He was a fellow member of their nest centuries ago, when they didn't drink human blood to keep the hunters away from them. Since killing off the Sire Vampire the new leader brought them back to their roots, attacking and killing people like they should have been. Sometimes they would turned a few human into Vampires to repopulate their kind, when one of them wouldn't kill a human the new Sire killed him. Now here he is working with a human and some other kind of being, they couldn't figure out who the person in the trench coat is. Waiting for the right moment to make their move they motion in the others, who were on the other side of the cemetery. They saw them walking up in the shadows as they saw the three men, so now with five against three they will be having their fun before they eat.

The leader made his move when two out of the three were arguing now was the prefect time to attack when their prey was preoccupied. Motioning the other members to move in they surrounding the three victims, keeping in the shadows until they were only a few feet from them for their attack. Waiting for the right moment to rush in to make the kill, one of the younger members blew their cover, by rushing in two fast attacking his old clan member. The one in the trench coat place his hand on his back causing him to cry out in pain, seeing the white light they knew it was an Angel that attack their family member. Fuel with anger they other four rushed out of the shadows without making a sound, they were upon them before they even knew what hit them. The leader went after the human, his friend went after their old comrade, the other two went after the Angel.

Keeping the Angel busy with fighting two Vampires the other two knew they could kill the others, what the leader wasn't expecting was how strong and fast the human was. Before he could attack the human he turned around just in time, moving out of the way just a slight, but not enough to stop him from being hit. Before he could get himself off the ground the human was already standing his ground to him, raising too his feet he stood his ground to the man in front of him. Both men looked at each other waiting to see who would make the first move, when the man in front of him started to move to his right he went left. Making a circle to size each other up before making the killer blow, seeing the smirk from his prey he smile right back at him before making his move. When he attack the person in front of him he couldn't get a good hit, he moved all with him blocking every hit he threw at him. He knew now this was a hunter he was fighting with which got him excited, knowing from experience how they were when fighting. This one gave him a fight he wanted for a long time now compared to the others, when he fought them they were easy to take down not this one. Getting in a few good hits of his own he couldn't get the right blow in, every time he try to hit for the head, liver, kidney or back, the hunter would move out of the way. Feeling his own bruises from the man when he got a few good hits in, didn't faze him one bit he had a worse beating then this. Knowing that he had to finish this before anyone hears them, he made his move plowing himself so hard into the guy's chest. Taking him down to the ground with a loud thud that took the air out of his lungs, seeing his chance to take the bit he was pulled off of him by his old clan member.

Turning to face him he saw blood around his mouth knowing that his friend was dead, glancing over at the Angel he saw the other two were dead. Moving away from them he turned to the other Vampire he once knew, feeling betrayed that his own kind would side with a human. Before he left he told him that he better not ever see him again, and swore vengeance to the human for killing his clan members.

"Benny, how could you side with a human and a Angel against your own kind?"

"Eli, you turned against me with the new leader of our clan to kill humans, you watch him behead me and did nothing to stop it."

"We would have died out if we didn't go with him to his side Benny, we barely survive on animal blood as it was our leader was weak. When Jeremiah killed our old leader he became the Sire of our clan, help us get our numbers back up by turning people into us."

"At what price was that Eli getting more of you killed, there are hunters hunting your clan members down. They won't stop until you are all dead do you think Jeremiah will save you from them, he sending you out here to get killed while he stays reaping in everyone blood. He don't care how many of you get killed while doing his dirty work, just as long as he gets to drink the blood before anyone else."

"Not all of us work under the leader my friend there are some of us that he let's us do as we please, we can hunt down humans kill them, drink their blood, or turned them to one of us. We only hunt what we need to keep us fed, while others are sloppy by getting themselves killed by hunters. Wait until I tell our leader that you are back Benny, he would want your head on a silver platter how did you get out of Purgatory."

"That is none of your business you blood sucking freak so shut the hell up, who is this piece of shit, Benny."

"He used to be a friend of mine back in the days, Dean-"

The vampire stop when he heard his old friend growl in disgust.

"So this is the mighty Dean Winchester who was suppose to be dead, so this is how you got out of Purgatory? Why would my leader want a piece of you or your brother, by the way where is your little brother Dean?"

"Kiss my ass you freak don't need to tell you anything, let's just kill this son-of-a-bitch and call it a night."

Picking his machete off the ground where he dropped it in the struggle, he raised it to kill the Vamp in front of him. Before he could even used it the Vamp was gone disappearing in the shadows, cursing at himself for not killing him sooner.

Turning to his two friends it was time to head back to the motel room, there was more research that needs to be done. Walking back to the Impala Dean didn't really want to go back to the motel, instead he told Cas to go back while he and Benny go to a bar.

~~~SPN~~~

Driving through the back streets of Baton Rouge the Impala with the three occupants drove slowly down the road, the research that was done told them that Vampires were killing people. Come to find out the place were the killings were being done was a cemetery, getting the name Woodlawn Cemetery and the address the three men headed in that direction. On the way they talked about how they would handle the situation, during the talk Dean and Cas got into a heated argument on not taking Sam with them. Dean didn't want to bring Sam with he needed him back at the motel to do research, Benny, Cas and him could do the hunts by themselves like the have been. Since getting together again with his friend Benny, he's been spending more time with him going on hunts or to the bar. He can trust him with his life knowing that Benny could have his back, as for Sam he can't trust his brother like he used to.

So when Benny heard about the killings in Baton Rouge they headed to the city, Sam had his doubts about it since he didn't trust Benny like Dean does. Taking Benny side the older brother told Sam that they were going, to get in the car and keep your mouth shut and do research. When Sam found information about the killings and the name of the place, Dean told Sam to search for another hunt while he, Benny and Cas finish the hunt. On the way there Castiel voice he concern about now having Sam with as back up, which started a heated argument between the two.

"Dean, we should have brought Sam with us on this hunt, the information says there are at least five to six Vampires. Having Sam-"

The Angel was cut off by his friend's outburst.

"Damn it Cas how many times do I have to tell you, we don't need Sam here to hunt the Vamps. We have hunted by ourselves many of times in Purgatory, and where was Sam then, was he there with us, NO! He was with some chick while I was fighting for my life."

"He was the one who gave up on hunting who wanted a normal life with a girl and a dog, he left me too rot there while he had his apple pie life. I need someone who I can trust to have my back during a hunt, that is not Sam I can't trust him right now I trust Benny."

Pulling to the curb across from the Wood Lawn Cemetery turning the car off, Dean got out of the car slamming the door shut on his friend. Walking to the trunk he pop it open pulling the lid to the hide away where the weapons are, pulling out three machetes he slammed it shut with too much force. He was burning inside talking about Sam with his friend; he was so anger at his brother for not looking for him. How is he suppose to trust his own flesh and blood when he forgot about him, just let him die in Purgatory without lifting a finger to look for him. If the table were turned Dean would have search high and low for Sam, making deals, torturing Demons anything to find him. So why didn't Sam look for him the year he was gone, did Dean mean that little to his younger brother the answer to that was yes.

Crossing the road he handed Benny and Cas their weapons before stepping into the cemetery, glancing around he was glad that a full moon was out giving them some light. Seeing the giant Oak Trees with their huge branches hanging over the ground, with the Spanish moss dangling from them making the place look haunted. The scene reminded Dean of the old horror movies he and Sam used to watch as kids, with the huge trees, the moss, head stones, the full moon, the only thing it needed were the monsters. At the moment that was what they are looking for the monsters, too bad it wasn't Dracula they were looking for.

Shaking that thought out of his head he needed a clear mind for this hunt, walking down the isle of headstones Cas was too his right, Benny to his right. Keeping a sharp eye out for any kind of movement especially from the shadows, which this place has many shadows for his liking.

Moving further in he was getting a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, like something bad was going to happen. Looking over to his right he saw that Cas has stop looking around were he stood, taking a gander to his left he saw that Benny has stop to. Listen carefully for any kind of sound glancing in the shadows, he thought he saw movement which was only the moss moving in the wind. Next thing he heard was Castiel telling him it was a bad idea of leaving Sam behind, feeling his anger burned hot he stroll over to his friend.

"Dean, I don't like the sound of this it's too quiet, you should have brought Sam with us."

"That's it Cas I'm tired of you bring up his name we don't need him, would you please keep an eye out for danger."

"Dean! Something feels off here like we are heading into a trap, with Sam he could be looking out for one-"

Cas was cut off when a Vampire attack Benny shoving him to the ground, hurrying over to his friend the Angel place his hand on the attacker back. Listening to him scream in pain before he fell to the ground dead, Dean rushed over to Benny helping him off the ground before he check him over. See no damage done to his brother; he went to look around when he felt something hard hit him.

Seeing his friend going down the Angel headed towards him for help, only to be stop when two Vampires attack him from both sides. Standing his ground to them he ready himself for a fight, he made sure that both of them were always in front of him at all times.

They have tried to get on behind the Angel while the other stay in front, the failed at each attempt to do so. Deciding on another way they both charge him at the same time, hoping that one of them would get a bit into him. Just as they were about to go in for the kill with the Angel, Cas stepped to one side grabbing one of his attackers throwing him to the ground. Placing his hand on the man chest watching as white light engulf him, lifting his hand off of him looking down at the now dead Vampire with his eyes burned out of his head. Lifting himself up he ready for the other one to attack, he could see the anger in the man eyes. He thought he saw a red hue in them as the Vampire glared at him, keeping a close eye on the man he waited for him to make the first move.

As the man rushed the Angel Cas waited until he got close enough to him, before lifting his hand making him flew through the air. Landing a few feet from him with a loud thud when he hit the ground, lifting the Vamp up to his feet he pulled out the angel blade cutting his head off. Watching as the head rolled on the ground, dropping the body he turned to check out his friends to see how they are doing.

Benny fought the Vampire that he once was a clan member with; it was centuries ago before his time in Purgatory. He was with a clan of Vampires that turned to drinking animal blood instead of human; too keep off the radar of hunters that were hunting them to extinction. Now he's facing him in a battle of life and death, the life for the innocents and the death of him. Picking up a few good moves spending his time in that place, he used it with his old family member to throw him off.

He knew the man's moves just as much as he knew his moves, as they fought Benny throw in a few he learned down under. Taking his opponent by surprise he made his move by moving behind him, taking a bit ripping his throat out to the bone and muscles. Spitting out the meat he turned to see how Cas and Dean were doing, see the Angel killed his attacker he turned to Dean. Seeing his friend having a hard time he went over to help, pulling the man off of him he saw that it was a good friend of his.

Hearing what the Vampire had to say Dean knew they would be staying longer in Baton Rouge, there was no way he was going to leave with a nest of Vamps in the city. Heading back to the Impala he didn't really want to head back to the hotel, after the argument he had with Cas about Sam he didn't want to be around him. Turning to his friend as Benny got into the front passenger seat were his brother would sit, he need to let him know to go back to Sam for more research.

"Cas, go back to the motel and tell Sam to research about a Vampire nest in this city, tell him to look until he finds any kind of sightings that might be helpful to us."

"Dean, I am not your messenger that you can boss around at any time, why don't you go and let Sam know about the Vampire nest."

"Benny and I are going to a bar for a few drinks and fun don't have time to go and talk with him, just go back and tell him he needs to find the nest before he does anything else. I might be back tonight or tomorrow morning depends on how lucky I am, when I get back I want some information and no excuses this time."

Before the Angel could reply Dean got into the car driving off leaving the man in the street, shaking his head at his friend Cas spoke to himself on Dean's actions.

"Dean you are going to loose Sam with this attitude you have with him, if you are not careful it will happen one day."

With that there was a flutter of wings and a empty street.

~~~SPN~~~

Sam watched as his brother, Benny and Cas walked out the door after the info he gave them, it piss him off the way his brother has been treating him lately. Ever since the spectrum and the curse penny the hunt they did with Garth, Dean has been distant with Sam always angry at him for one thing or another. Hearing his brother throwing those words at him really hurt Sam deeply, hearing him saying that Benny has been a better brother than him, never letting him down. It was like telling Sam that he was no longer Dean's little brother, the older brother that he always looked up to since he was little. Now to hear that they are not brother's anymore cut Sam to the core, now he wants to hunt with the Vampire go out to bars to drink and play pool. All the things that he and Dean did before all this crap happen to them, now here's Sam sitting alone in the room waiting for them to come back.

The only thing that's been coming out of Dean's mouth to him has been insults, making him feel worthless, like he's not good enough anymore. He could leave like he always does when things get bad between them, only to have Dean come looking for him giving him the riot act about leaving. This time it would be different since his brother didn't care about him anymore, would be happy if Sam would just walked out and not come back. He's been thinking about this for a while now waiting for the right moment to leave, it would hurt Sam to leave his brother behind since he still loves his older sibling.

Now he's just waiting here for them to come back so he can hear Dean brag how good of a hunter Benny is, always having his back being there for him when he needs a partner/brother. Looking up for more hunts he found an article about deaths in Baton Rouge, these were from four years ago which means there must be a nest here. People have been disappearing weekly for the last four years the reason why know one reported them is, they were prostitutes, drug addicts, runaways, people who wouldn't be missing by anyone. The last year they have attack the middle class in their homes making it look like a break in, then having it go wrong by murdering someone to cover up. Others were down alleys behind store fronts making it look like a mugging gone wrong, other were killed in the parks and cemetery. They always had their attacks looking like someone was attack walking home, only taking two or three people a week not to cause any kind of panic. Writing all the information down so he can show Dean on what he found, he turned off his computer took a shower then laid in bed. Turning on the T.V he leaned against the headboard watching mindless shows to waste the time, he knew once when they get back his brother will be drunk as a skunk. Taking all his anger out on his brother by saying hurtful things to him, making him feel like shit before he passes out from the liquor he drank. Getting up the next morning like nothing ever happens or hurtful words were said, he would just order Sam around telling him to be useful getting breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Lost in his thought he didn't hear Cas come into the room until he spoke to him, startling Sam making him grabbing his gun. Swearing to the Angel he put his weapon back under his pillow, seeing only his friend he knew where Dean would be.

"Damn it, Cas how many times have I told you not to do that, I could have shot you."

Sam said in an irritated voice.

"Sam, you can not kill me with a gun-okay sorry Dean sent me-"

Cas stopped when he heard an annoyed sigh from his friend.

"Let me guess he wants me too look for the nest, so he and his new brother can go to a bar?"

"Yes, they did go to the bar but not with his brother, you are here Sam."

"Cas I'm no longer Dean's brother he made that perfectly clear, after we did that hunt with Garth."

"Sam, he was cursed from that coin that wasn't him, you know that right."

"What he said he meant every word Cas and he's right, I only failed him as a brother that's why he hates me now. I can see why he wants to hunt with Benny now he's a better partner and brother, he has never failed Dean only I have done that."

"Sam, you have to know that Dean loves-" Cas stop when Sam raised his hand.

"Cas, I do appreciate what you are trying to do here, making me feel better by saying that Dean cares. The truth is he don't care he hates me Cas, there's no more love he has for me I ruined it. I think I should leave before he-"

Sam stopped when he heard the door open with Benny carrying in Dean over his shoulder, placing him gently on the bed before he took off his shoes and coat. Sam watch with a pain in his heart to see Benny do the things he would, it shows just how much he failed as a brother.

~~~SPN~~~

Pulling into a parking space at the local bar Dean and Benny got out; walking into the building they saw an empty booth to their left. Heading over Dean motion to the bartender to come over, giving him his order he turned to his friend.

"Benny, who is this Eli and Jeremiah were do you know them from."

"It was a life time ago Dean centuries ago when I was a young Vampire, just got turned by Eli when he would drink from people. When the Sire heard of hunter killing our kind he taught us how to drink from animals, some of us couldn't stand the blood from cattle, deer or wild pigs, we would still from a blood bank."

"This way we don't be on the hunters radar for killing people, we kept a low profile for years until Jeremiah showed up. He tried to get us to drink from people again be who were should be, the Sire was against it and fought him to the death. He killed him and became the new Sire of our clan teaching us the old ways, I wouldn't attack a human or drink from one tried to get others too join me. Eli went to tell Jeremiah on what I was doing within the clan, he felt threaten when I wouldn't do as he says. Not wanting any of the clan to go against him we fought it was a bloody one Dean, when the fight was over he cut my head off while everyone watch. Eli never once stood up for even though we were blood brother's, always saying we will be there for each other in the end he wasn't."

"Now you do have a blood brother that will help you kill them, I will have your back when we fight them brother. Cas would help us fight the good fight just like we did down under, we make a good team a human, Vampire and a Angel an odd team." Dean said with a smirk.

"Don't you have a brother already Dean back at the motel, what would he have to say my friend."

"He won't have a say in it Benny, he will have to go with it, if he can't he can just leave he made his bed."

"Dean, you don't mean you'll let Sam just walk away and not come back, I know how close you are with him."

"Benny, he left me too rot in Purgatory for a fucking year, how am I suppose to let that just go. Instead of looking for me he went off and had an apple pie life, it's what he always wanted so if he wants it that bad he can go."

Before Benny could answer the bartender came with their drinks, Dean told him to keep the whiskey coming he was going to get drunk and have some fun. An hour later the older Winchester was spread across the table out like a light, his friend just shook his head as he lifted him up carrying him out the door. Walking to the Impala he place him in the passenger seat making him comfortable, getting behind the wheel he drove back to the motel room to get him in bed. As he parks the car getting out and grabbing his friend, as he walked up to the door he missed the person driving by slowly.

Placing Dean in bed he took off his shoes and coat before covering him up with the blanket, turning the lights out he sat at the table keeping watch. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the younger brother laying down, turning his back to him and his brother. The vampire could feel the pain the man was in by the way he heart would beat, sighing he kept a watch over his brother and the other brother.

Watching Benny with Dean broke something in Sam his heartache bad, he has really lost his brother to the vampire. He had to think of a way to get his brother back to him, to get Dean to understand why he didn't look for him. With that in mind he close his eyes his breathing even out, he fell into a uneasy sleep.

~~~SPN~~~

Pulling into the parking space next to a park in town, the man got out walking up a bench with a man sitting. Sitting across from he looking straight into his eyes he smile wickedly, he had good news to tell him and it will please him.

"Did you find him?"

"Yes, I found him he's in a motel room just down the street from here."

"Good, gather the others, we make our move in two days."


	2. Chapter 2

After leaving the cemetery, Eli hid in the shadows across the street between two houses as he waited for the hunter, Angel and his ex-clan member to leave. Keeping low so as not to be seen by them he took a deep inhale holding it, before he slowly release the breath he was holding to collect the scent. He wanted to remember the scent of the human, since each one had a different smell, unique to himself or herself. As he held onto the hunter's sweet aroma that made his mouth water for it, there was another that was even sweeter that he could smell. Looking around he didn't see another human around to catch his senses; he glanced around trying to find where the smell was coming from; he wanted it.

Glancing back to the human who was still in the street talking to the Angel, he sniffed the air carefully, thinking maybe there was a second human nearby. Seeing none, he grew confused as to why he smelled two humans when there was only one, Benny smell like a Vampire, the Angel didn't really have a scent to him. When the hunter turned to get into the car the scent hit him hard, licking his lips he really needed to find the other human who smell so sweet. It finally hit him why he was smelling two people now, the second one had to be his brother's that he was smelling from his clothing. Taking in that smell so he can remember it from the other humans, he turned into the shadows to head back to the nest. He had to tell Jeremiah about Benny that he's back in town working with a hunter and Angel.

Walking down the streets of the main city heading to the waterfront where the nest is, the Vampire couldn't stop thinking of the smell he wanted so badly. He was going to take his time drinking from Dean's little brother, he was going to savor the taste of his blood when he drinks from him. Stopping before he entered the gate he took a gander to make sure he wasn't being followed, stepping through he walked up to the empty warehouse by the riverside. Looking the place over he missed the mansion they once lived in, the gentlemen who once lived there let them stayed if they leaved him and his family alone. The Sire had different idea when they moved into the place to live, killing the owner and wife, turning their daughter into a Vampire to be his queen. They all lived there without any problems for two years, feeding on what they only needed when they brought their meals home. Two of the new clan members ruined that in one night, bringing the Mayor's daughter and friend there after a night of drinking. One of the customers over heard them about a party at the house, he followed to see if he could join in the fun only to watch them drink their blood. Running from the building he brought back others from the bar, being drunk as they were and fueled by anger they burned the Mansion to the ground. Only half of the clan escaped the flames while others died trying to get out, now they have to live in this moldy wet warehouse on the outskirts of town.

Walking through the main part of the building he headed to the far back area, opening the heavy door that creak from age he closed it behind him. The hallway was long and narrow with few windows for sunlight to come though, stepping up to the very last opening he went down the stairs to where the rest of the clan was. Strolling through the big room that was home for them now he looked around, finding who he was searching for he headed in the direction the Sire was in. Advancing to him he stopped just in front of him, waiting for him to finish his feeding before he gave him the news.

~~~SPN~~~

Enjoying his meal the Sire felt a presence next to him waiting for him to finish, taking the last drop of blood from his feast before he turned around. Licking his lips as he looked down at the girl he just drank from, he motion to his minions to removed her and bring him another to feast on. Eli glance at the girl on the bed to see her white as the sheet, bit marks all over her body not an inch of skin wasn't touch. As he watch them take her away he turned to his friend, motioning him to walk with him to have some privacy. As the walked into a room he looked around to make sure no one was in here, turning to his friend he ready himself with the news he need to say.

"Jeremiah, while Jacob and I hunted in the cemetery waiting for our next feast, we came across an old friend of ours. To say the least that I was surprised to see him with a hunter and a Angel, you are not going to believe this Sire it was Benny."

"Benny is back from the dead? How could that be possible?"

"He was in Purgatory, that is were we all go when we die from the hands of hunter and others, the hunter he was with is no other then Dean Winchester. Heard in the grape vine he himself ended up in the same place, by killing that Dick Roman person the leader of the leviathan's that Castiel let loose."

"So Dean let Benny out of Purgatory the only way of doing that is by hitching a ride, we need to teach the Vampire a lesson not to work with a human."

"He's not just working with a human Sire he also is working with an Angel, the one who let those creatures out in the first place."

"Well, he thinks he's going to be safe with a hunter and Angel fighting with him, he's going to learn the hard way about betraying us by working with them. Have some of our brother's look for him and Dean have them keep their distance, we don't need Benny know we are on to him just now. We need to find a way to draw them out in the open, to attack them when their guard is down."

"There's one thing I ask Sire for myself, to have as a toy to play with, I got the scent of two humans when I saw them. Even though there was only one at the time we met at the cemetery, as they were leaving I smell the scent of Dean's little brother Sam. I would love to have him as my toy so I can have my way with him, he smelt so sweet that I'm going to take my time to feast on Winchester."

"You will get your toy Eli, when we attack them get them separated as we fight, I will be killing Benny again sending him back to Purgatory. As for the hunter and Angel we will kill them too for being on his side, the hunter I will take time with teach him lesson for killing our own kind."

"Now go find two brother's that you can trust to get the job done, tell them not to hurt either one of them. If they do I will be dealing out the punishment if anyone of them is hurt, Benny is mind for the taking will enjoy killing him again."

Stepping out of the room Jeremiah stroll back over to the bed where there was a female waiting for him, smelling the scent of fear he savor the taste he already have from it. Sniffing her neck as he kisses her skin as he work his way down, to him this was like having sex with her in his own way. Moving back to her neck he sank his teeth in deep, listening to her screams as they sank deep into her skin.

~~~SPN~~~

Sam lay in bed for about another hour before he decided to get going for the day, looking around the room he saw that Cas and Benny were not there. Glancing over at the other bed he saw that Dean was still asleep, feeling the ache in his heart he grab his clothes went into the bathroom to take a shower. Walking back out fifteen minutes later he saw that Castiel was back sitting at the table, throwing the towel on the bed he grabbed his jacket, wallet and keys left to get breakfast.

On the way there he was thinking of a way to talk to his brother about everything, he had to get Dean to listen to him on why he didn't look for him. He didn't really know where Dean was to him he was dead; he did try to get some kind of information from Demons that he tortured. No one would tell him the answers he wanted to hear, he only got that they didn't know where his brother was. He knew that Demons do lie to get what they wanted, even being tortured he still couldn't get any kind of answers. He finally had enough of not getting any where with his questions he was asking, feeling like a failure that he couldn't safe his brother or find him. He got into the Impala and drove he wasn't sure where he was going; just as long as it was far away from all the pain he left behind.

As he drove down the road his mind kept swirling with all the failures he has ever done, the more he thought about them it made him anger. He just wanted to end everything right there, just drive off the cliff, or run into a tree, or a on coming truck, anything he could think of too stop the pain in him. That was when he hit the dog taking him to the vet, where he met Amelia who was in her own pain just like him. Meeting her gave him a whole new purpose to keep going with his life, having Riot around gave him the companion he needed. Being with Amelia knowing her pain was just as deep as his, through talking, listening to each other, gave them both hope they thoughts was gone. Even loving her was something he thought he could never do again, he found happiness again that made him smile and laugh. There were times he got so excited about what was going on that he wanted to call Dean, he gets the phone out to call him is when he remembers he's no longer around. He would sit there and cry wanted someone to hold him, even though she tried to comfort him it wasn't Dean.

'How am I suppose to talk to him when he won't even look or listen to me, have to think of a way were it's just the two of us.' Sam thought to himself as he walked into the diner.

Walking back into the motel room twenty minutes later Dean's bed was empty, feeling a little panic until he heard the shower running. Seeing that Benny was still gone and Castiel was still in the room, he turned to his friend to ask him a favor.

"Cas, can you do me a favor?"

"You know you can Sam, what is your favor?"

"I need to talk to Dean alone for just an hour by ourselves, is there a way you could-I don't know-go some where?"

"Where do you want me to go Sam-" Seeing the look in his friend's eyes he knew what he could do. "I can tell Dean that I have some leads from my brother's, that could help in the case that we are on."

Seeing the relief in his friend's eyes gave him some hope that the brother's could work this out.

"Thanks Cas, I just need to talk to him, make him understand what happened with me this past year."

Before the Angel could ask what that was, the bathroom door open with a cloud of steam following Dean. Seeing coffee sitting on the table he walked over to get a drink, never once looking in Sam's direction. Looking around the room he saw that Benny still hasn't returned, seeing how the sun is up he knew his brother would be laying low. Eating his breakfast taking a gulp of his coffee he turned to Cas, he wanted to get going on searching for the Vampire nest while the sun is out.

"When I'm done with my breakfast Cas, we will go out and search the city for the nest. We should do it now while the sun is out with no clouds in the sky, this is the best time to do so since the sleep during the day."

"Dean I need to go have a talk with one of my brother's there's something going on, the Angels are getting nervous about some kind of power play. They want to get together to have a talk if anyone knows what's going on."

"I can come with you, Cas and help you out."

"That is okay, Dean some of my brethren don't like you, I'm better off going alone. Besides, Sam has some information for you."

With that the Angel disappeared with a flutter of wings.

Sitting at the table finishing his breakfast the older brother never once looked over at the younger one, when he was done he took the papers from the table looking them over. Seeing that Sam did do some research last night he was going to check it out, grabbing his coat and keys he headed for the door. Just as he reach for the handle he stop when he heard Sam calling him, sighing in annoyance he looked over his shoulder. To see Sam sitting there with his eyes to the floor, elbows on his knees, playing with his fingers. Feeling the anger towards his brother resurface again he snapped at him.

"What do you want Sam?" Seeing the flinch at his sharp tone he smile to himself.

"Dean, we need to talk-"

"Don't have the time to talk to you Sam, need to go find this nest."

"Dean, please just let me explain to you why I didn't l-"

Sam flinch again at Dean's harsh reply.

"You don't need to explain anything to me Sam, about your apple pie life, you didn't want me in your life anymore. That is why you never once looked for me while I rotted in Purgatory, you were happy that I was gone from your life."

"Dean, that is not true I do want you in my life, you are my brother I love you-"

"Love me? That why you left me to rot for a year cause you love me, what kind of love is that, Sam? I would have never stop looking for you if the same thing happen to you, hell, even when you were in Hell I was thinking of ways of getting you out."

"You think I didn't look for you when y-"

"You didn't look for me Sam, that is what the problem is here, I was out of your life just what you wanted. You never wanted to be in this kind of life since we were little, always running off when you couldn't get your way being a selfish brat. Once when you found a way to leave you just walked right out the door, never once thinking how I would take it or how I was feeling about it."

"You wanted to get away from me and dad, as far away as possible, never once looking back or calling to tell us you were okay. You were on your own and that is all that matter to you, even coming back after Jessica you ran off like a spoiled brat. Every time you didn't get your way you would sulk, pout, cry or just walked out the door. Not once telling me how I was feeling on what was going on, now you want to talk too late for that kid your own your own."

"Dean, I know that I hurt you every time I ran off when we were growing up, I've learned my lesson from all of that stuff I did. As for Stanford, I was only going to College to make a better life for me; Dad was the one who said if I leave I should stay gone. He made that choice not me you stood right there next to him, not saying a word just taking his side like always. You didn't even move a muscle to stop me from walking out the door, so don't put that off on me when you and dad made that choice."

"Don't put that off on me or Dad, Sam, it was your choice to leave us behind, just like now it was your choice to leave me to rot in Purgatory. I don't have time for this shit, Sam, I need to go out there find that nest, get Benny and Cas so we can take care of it and leave this town."

Turning around, the older brother headed for the door only to be stop when Sam grabbed his arm, shoving the hand off of him he reach for the door handle only to have his brother grab him again.

"Dean, just listen to me-"

"Sam, I don't have the time for this, let me go or else."

"Please let me-"

Before Sam knew what had happen his back was slammed onto the floor, pushing the air out of his lungs by the force of the impact. His head hit hard on the floor with a crack, blinking the stars out of his site he look up at his angry brother.

"I had enough of you, Sam, with your lies and betrayals you made one bad choice after another, I always had to pick up after your messes not any more. You made your own bed so now sleep in it and see how far you get, you choose Ruby over me, drank Demon blood, ran around soulless for a year. Never once telling about any of it until it came to bit you in the ass, well guess what brother I'm not helping you any more. I can't trust you like I used to don't know if I can even do it anymore, you burned too many bridges for me to forgive you for them." Breathing hard after his outburst of anger, he did one finally blow to the man on the floor. "I should have never made that deal to bring you back."

"Y-you don't mean that."

"Yes, I do mean it, I should have never made that deal, then all of this crap would have never happened."

"Is this any way to talk to some one you love, to your family?"

"Love you? Got to be kidding me you destroyed my family by simply being born."

Seething red with anger he didn't see the deep hurt in Sam's eyes from what he said, turning around he walked to the door opening slamming it with more force then he should have.

Sam laid there in shock on what his brother said to him before he left, he blamed Sam for being born, killing their mother, dad and everyone just by being there. When he heard the Impala driving off he stayed on the floor for a few more minutes, slowly lifting himself up on the bed lowering his head he cried in his hands. He wasn't sure on how long he sat it could have been twenty minutes or an hour; he knew one thing he needed to get away for awhile to think things over. Lifting himself from the bed grabbing the key he open the door and walked out, looking around he saw a bar on the other side of the parking lot. Walking over he sat on the stool to have a few shots to calm his nerves, he couldn't get his mind off the fight he and Dean just had. The words kept running through his mind on what Dean throw at him, now he knows how his brother really feels about him he never cared. By his second shot he stop drinking instead he went with water; he didn't need to be drunk when Dean gets back. Which would only give him more fuel to add to his fire he already has, getting up he left a tip walking out the door he took a walk to clear his head.

He didn't walk to far just a couple of blocks since he wasn't really in the mood, on the way back he was so lost in his thoughts he didn't see or hear the person following him. Stepping back inside he saw that Benny has returned from what ever he was doing, he notice that Dean stop by and left again probably with Castiel. Turning to Benny he asked where Dean and Cas went off to, after the answer he was shoved back into the wall. He never knew the Vampire could move that fast catching him off guard, feeling fangs sinking into his neck he tried to push him off. Knowing he had to do something he lifted his knee ramming it between his legs, knocking him on the floor grabbing the machete he was about to kill him.

"Benny, where did my brother and Cas head off to."

"They went to the Library for some information on the case we are working on."

"When did they lea-ugh get off of me."

Sam couldn't help the scream that came out when he felt the bite; getting the Vampire on the floor he raised the machete over his head. Feeling a hand on his wrist pulling him back roughly, he heard his brother's voice.

"What the Hell, Sam?"

"He attacked me Dean!"

"That is not what I saw, you were attacking him."

Dean said as he lifted Benny off the floor checking him over, not once has he looked Sam over.

"Dean, he did attack m-"

Feeling a fist to the jaw the younger brother look in shock, he can't believe Dean is taking the Vampire side.

"I knew I couldn't trust you after we got back together, should have left your sorry ass behind."

"Dean, listen-"

"No, get the hell out of here, as far as I'm concern we are no longer brothers."

Feeling the air go out of his lungs on what he heard Dean said to him, he stood there for a moment to see if he was lying. Seeing only anger he knew the man said every word in truth, pushing himself off the wall he walked to the door opening it he walked out.

Feeling his eyes sting, he blinked the tears away only to have more coming down his cheeks, walking past the bar there was an alley to his right. Stepping inside to gather his thoughts he didn't hear the man behind him, to lost in his grief to even notice anyone until everything went black.

~~~SPN~~~

Eli walked the streets trying to catch the scent of Dean's younger brother; he heard rumors from other clan members that he was on the east side of the city. Checking motel, houses, empty buildings to see if he could pick up his scent, walking past a bar he catch the smell he was waiting for. Following it like a bloodhound follows a scent for a missing person, he was doing the same thing until he finally saw his prize he was waiting for.

Staying in the shadows as not to be seen by anyone especially by Sam, he keep close to his target to pick the right time too attack. Seeing him going back to the motel he waited for him to come back out, he knew it was only time when he will be seeing Sam again. Hearing a car coming up the road he hid behind the bar, seeing a black car pulling up to the motel room door before Dean and the Angel got out. After they got into the room he heard yelling going on inside the room, next he saw Sam walking out with his head down looking like a kicked puppy.

Keeping low as not to be seen he kept a close on his prize, he wasn't about to loose it this time around. Grabbing a piece of wood from the alley he went into, he tiptoed behind the man bring the wood down hard on the back of his head.

Feeling his head pounding was the first thing Sam notice when he came around, opening his eyes slowly he had to shut them tight against the pain. Feeling his chin against the chest he tried to lift his head, at the moment felt like a brick every movement brought sharp pain through his skull. Carefully and slowly he got his head up so he could look around, it hurt his eyes to even keep them open to check out his surroundings. Closing them due to the pain his head was in taking deep breaths to calm his stomach, with every beat of his heart cause his head to hurt, in turned made his stomach turned.

Hearing movement to his right he slowly moved, well he tried to move since his hands were tied over his head. Taking another gander this time he could keep his eyes open without feeling sick, looking over he saw a man standing in the shadows. His heart race when he saw it was a Vampire when he walked up to him; his fangs were out covered in his blood from the bite wounds he was now feeling. Getting into Sam's space Eli lick his lips that were covered in his blood, making the man stomach turned again swallowing down the bile that threaten to come up. Feeling a hand on his chin his face was force fully turned to look at the man, trying not to show weakness the creature who had him tied like a steak. As he talked to him the younger man was feeling sick by the smell of blood, and the foul order coming from the Vamp in front of him.

"I couldn't help myself Sam had to feed on you while you were out, when I caught the scent of you on your brother I knew I wanted to feed. You smell so sweet compared to that brother of yours who smell like sweat and leather, will let the other clan members have him while I take my time with you."

"Going to take my time as I feed on you so I can savor the taste of your blood, it's so-don't know what to say about it. The others I feed on theirs is nothing like yours don't have that copper taste, there's something else in the blood that makes me want to drink you dry now. Going to keep myself under control when I feed only take what I need, if I do it right I should be able to keep you alive for a week."

"Why wait that long kill me now drink me dry like you do the others, my blood is no different then the others you done. Just because I was the chosen one-"

"That's right you were the chosen one for Lucifer vessel I have heard about that, drinking Demon's blood to get your high to kill that bitch Demon. Even heard that you drank some of Lucifer blood to when you took his side, I know those kind do lie this time they are telling the truth. I can taste that Demon blood in you Samuel, can't wait to take some more from you."

Eli smelled Sam's neck making the man shiver when his tongue touched his skin, when he bit into his neck the younger man couldn't stop the screams that came.

~~~SPN~~~

Two days has past since Sam walked out the door of the motel, two days of being bitten repeatedly over his body. He was wishing for death to come to take the pain he was feeling, every time Eli bit his neck, arms, legs, stomach and back he couldn't hold in the screams. When he was alone in the room in between the feedings his thoughts went to Dean, wondering if his brother is looking for him, or did he move on leaving him behind. It hurt him deep to think that Dean would just leave without looking for him, hearing the last words his brother said to him he knew that was true. He would leave his sorry pain in the ass little brother behind, cause they are no longer brother so why would he look for him.

Hearing the man walking back in he was too weak from blood lost to struggle against the ropes, he let himself hang there waiting for the end to happen. Feeling teeth on his back he didn't have the strength to scream when he felt them dig in, the only thing he heard was a whimper of pain escaping his lips. Feeling himself go weaker as the Vamp drank from him hearing the sucking sound, he saw black dots forming in his eyes before darkness over took him. He could have thought he heard a struggle going on before he black out, maybe that was just his mind playing games with him since no-one was coming.

~~~SPN~~~

Four men waiting for the informer to show up before they made their move, it's been two days now since they last talk. Now it was time to move into action and take care of the problem, they have been waiting for four years to get their revenge. Now they had their chance to take care of it against the two people who cause it all, seeing the man pulling into the parking lot stopping next to them before getting out of the car.

They could tell he didn't have good news by the look in his eyes and face, waiting for him to speak the leader looked around to make sure no one was listening.

"Guys there's some bad news someone took the person we wanted, brought him to an empty by the Mississippi. The Vampire took him there to have his own little private feeding, there are three other Vamps there to keep watch while their leader feeds."

"Well then let's go to the house and get what is suppose to be ours, we can take on four Vamps with no problems. Hope they don't kill Sam before we get our turn with him, let's get a moving before the finish him off."

Getting back into the cars they drove over to the house were Eli is staying with Sam, quietly they walked up to the house looking into the windows. They saw two Vamps sitting at the table while the third was drinking from their latest victim; they were going to strike now while they were off their guard. Motioning two of his friends to take the back door, while him and his other friends take the front door, telling them in five to rush in and attack. When the hunters rushed into the house taken the Vamps by surprise, they didn't have time to defend themselves against them. Looking in every room for Sam and the other Vamp, they saw stairs leading down to the basement of the house.

Quietly they walked down glancing to the right then the left, seeing a room with the door open he motion for them to move in. Peeking around the door he saw the man he was looking for passed out, the other Vamp was drinking from him on his back. Stepping into the room as quiet as possible he got as close as he could, taking the machete over his head he slice the head right off.

Walking up to Sam, he check for a pulse feeling a slow and sluggish one he knew he needed blood, telling his friend to find some before he died on them. As they waited for their friends to return they took all the Vampires to the back yard burning their bodies, the leader cut Sam down laying him on the couch. He would give Sam some blood before he started his own torture on the man.

~~~~SPN~~~

Back at the motel room the three men were sitting there watching a game on T.V, the Angel couldn't believe that the older brother could just sit there. Why wasn't he out there looking for his brother like he was, did Sam really mean that little to Dean that he don't care if Sam dies. Looking at his friend he asked him the same question again.

"Dean, why are you not out there looking for your brother?"

"My brother is right here next to me Cas, so please stop asking me the same question."

"Your brother is Sam, not Benny, Dean, since he left you've been too happy without him. Don't you even care if he dies out there?"

"Sam was the one who walked out, Cas-"

Castiel had enough of Dean's attitude were his brother was concern.

"Dean, you are the one who told him to leave not the other way around, telling him that he's no longer your brother. Don't you even care that Sam could be lying in his own pool of blood, dying alone with no one being there for him."

Seeing no reaction from the man he shook his head, he couldn't believe Dean would want his brother dead.

"Just know this, Dean your actions is going to cost Sam his life, while you just sit here drinking beer acting like you don't care."

Turning away from his friend Cas tried to find Sam through phone, calling his number only for it to be drop. He couldn't feel Sam since he put that ward on his chest, he would have to go out tomorrow and keep looking for his friend. He will be getting help tomorrow from the other hunter name Garth, calling him in to help search for Sam.

Sitting on his own bed Dean was still angry at Sam for attacking Benny, his anger was so strong that he didn't feel his big brother alarm going off. Glancing out the window he was seeing if Sam was walking across the parking lot, using his key to come back in looking like a lost kicked puppy. Even though he was really pissed at his brother, angry at him, that didn't mean he wasn't worried about him.

'He'll come back with his tail between his legs asking for forgiveness, giving me those puppy eyes of his that won't work this time. If he don't then he can stay gone as long as I care."

Dean said to himself angrily towards his brother, he should have pick better words on what he just said. Since Sam will be fighting for his life at the hands of hunters.


	3. Chapter 3

After killing and burning the bodies of the Vampires, Reggie and Tim sat at the table, talking to each other about what was about to happen to Sam. They couldn't wait to get started with him for what had happened to their friend, they have been seeking revenge ever since he died at the hands of Demons. Knowing that Winchester started the apocalypse, letting Lucifer free, drinking Demon blood to kill Demons. When they found that out both men were going to use Sam as a weapon, getting him high on blood to do the killing for them before they killed him.

Things did not work in their favor when Sam fought back spitting the blood out of his mouth, knocking them out so he could escape with the girl he work with. After that Sam disappeared from the town he lived and work in, they have been searching for him ever since. They have heard of him joining back with Dean a few weeks later, staying away from both Winchesters until the time was right. When they heard of Dean disappearing with no trace of him, they started their search for Sam again coming up empty on leads they got. Some might have thought that Sam got killed after the attack; others think he's in hiding, while other hunters think he went off the grail. Either way Reggie and Tim had to stop their search again, both were really anger that they couldn't get to Sam.

Now that Dean was back again teaming up with Sam, they stayed as far away as possible. Not knowing how the older brother got back to his younger brother, they kept a safe distance until they knew the facts. Hearing in the hunters grape vine that the brother's had a Angel on their side, always helping them in some way or another, they kept their ears open. Finding out that Dean was back with a Vampire he help escape, they knew they would need some help from other hunters. Some of the hunters they talked too wouldn't help them, for being in fear of the brothers, or being in fear of Dean. That was until they meet a hunter name Nathan who has a grudge against Dean, come to found out that he got his brother killed on a hunt. Now they had what they needed someone who wasn't afraid of Dean, who wanted to find him and take what was his as pay back. Now after four years they are finally getting their own payback from what happen too Steve, they are going to make Sam pay with his life at the same time breaking Dean. Sitting around the table drinking their beers while they waited for Nathan, they both talked about what they would do to Sam.

"When I finally get my hands on that freak downstairs, I'm going to give him so much pain by beating the hell out of him. After that going to carve him like a Thanksgiving turkey going to do it slowly, so he can feel ever ounce of pain I will be giving him." Reggie sneer.

"You better leave him alive for the rest of us, Reggie for our payback, that is when Nathan is done with him. Still don't know why he is giving him blood transfusing for, if he is only going to kill him." Tim said through clench teeth.

"The reason why I'm giving him blood is to keep him alive long enough, for all of us to have our fun with him. That blood-sucking freak took a lot of blood from Sam almost killed him, so we need to replenish his blood supply so we can have our fun." Nathan said as he walked into the room.

"Well, I still think we should just have ended his life then, sending his body parts to his brother."

"What's the fun of that, Tim if we did that, don't you want to have fun with Sam before we kill him? I want some payback for what Dean did to my brother on that hunt; the only way I can do that is by giving his brother the same thing. After I'm done with him Dean is going to know that pain I felt, when I lost my brother to Demons who tore him apart."

"Nathan, we do understand the revenge you have against Dean Winchester, we have beef with him to for what he did too us. You don't know the kind of person Winchester is when he's in his so called brother mode, he would tear you apart for looking at Sam the wrong way or even hurting him. Knowing him right now he's probably on the search for his brother as we speak, even though they are fighting at the moment that doesn't stop him for being protective."

"Reggie, for some reason Sam was caught by those Vampires while away from his brother care, so what ever is happening between them I'm counting on Dean to look for him. They might be fighting or Sam was on some kind of run, either way the older brother will be looking for Sam. He don't even know where his brother is being held at, we only found out was by Joey who happen to see the Vamps taking Sam here."

"It's been two days, Nathan, since you have been giving Sam blood, how much longer do we have to wait to have our turn with him?"

"He's improving. His blood pressure is almost back to normal; by tomorrow we should be able to have our fun with him. Don't worry you guys will have your first shot with him, while I go pay his brother a visit. Want to see what that asshat is up too these last four days, want to see if he really cares about his brother or not. Don't worry he won't see me going to plant some of Sam's belongings by the motel, starting with this that has his blood on it." Nathan hold up Sam's shirt covered in his blood.

All three hunters smiled wickedly as they looked at the younger brother's shirt, it was dark in color compare to the blue it should be. Knowing when Dean's see it he's going to be in big brother mode, charging in to save his younger brother from death.

Laying the shirt on the table he turned to the other hunters, telling them to get some good sleep for tomorrow. Heading down stairs he walked into the room where Sam is now laying, making sure his binds are tight and his blood pressure was back to normal. Nodding his head he knew tomorrow would be the day for some major payback, with that in mind he laid on the bed in the same room as Sam was in.

~~~SPN~~~

Feeling the fog lifting from his mind there were two things Sam felt, sharp pain that seared through his body, he was no longer hanging like a piece of meat. He slowly try to move his body which felt like dead weight being tied down by a lead brick, moving his head was even harder to do with the marching band playing in it. Ever inch of his body even though he couldn't move it hurt like hell, just the slightest movement cause white-hot pain shot through him. With his head pounding with each beat of his heart he couldn't think, or hear since he only heard each beat with his headache. Trying to open his eyes took a great deal of effort; they felt so heavy to move them like someone was keeping them close. When he finally got them to open was a feat in itself, he blink a few times to clear the fog in his vision. Lifting his head to see where he was that is when he saw he was tied to a chair, trying to think what had happen to him as he looked around the room. Wanting to stand he tried to lift himself from the chair, only to feel binds on his hands, ankles and chest, confusing went through his foggy mind. Why was he tied to a chair? Why wasn't he at the motel? Where was his brother? The thought of Dean brought everything back to Sam like a wave hitting a sea wall, the words that were said to him, the punch to the jaw, running from the room. Being hit in the head to wake up to a Vampire drinking from him, all of that came back to Sam mind so fast it made his head swirl. Closing his eyes taking deep breaths to calm himself down, he could feel his stomach turning with the pounding of his head.

When he finally got his breathing back to normal well as normal as could be, he open his eyes to look around the room. He didn't see the Vampire anywhere in the room not even in the shadows; hearing foot steps coming down the stairs his heart sped up pounding in his chest. Trying to calm himself down was hard to do, he didn't know if he could handle another feeding or the pain. Hearing the footsteps coming closer he tried to get his hands free, that is when he realize he had some strength in him. He tried hard to free his hands from their bind he pulled and tug; the ropes were tied tight around his wrists and the arm of the chair. Waiting for his capture to returned to feed on him he tried his best not too look fearful, even though he was terrified of what was about to happen to him.

He felt himself tense when the person came through the door to his prison room, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw it was a human. Thinking it was someone who was here to rescue him he sag against the ropes, only to be hit hard in the head by the man standing in front of him. Shaking the black dots from his vision he glared at the man, he didn't even know him so why is he here and what does he want. Clearing his throat he was going to ask the man, only to have him beat to it first.

"Hello Sammy, I bet you are wondering who I am?"

"How do you know me? What do you want with me?"

"I know all about you, Sam Winchester, the kid with the Demon blood." Seeing Sam go pale he smirk at the man. "I told you I know who you are Sammy, the Demon spawn of Lucifer, drinking Demon blood to get your high. Don't worry I'm not going to make you drink any blood, or my friends won't make you drink either. Isn't that right Reggie and Tim."

Seeing Sam's eyes go wide he laughs at the young man's distress, seeing the two men walking in he saw how tense Sam got. Still standing in front of Sam he grabbed his head roughly so he was looking at him.

"I'm going to tell you who I am since I have a bone to pick with your brother."

"What did Dean do to you?"

"Well see Sammy, my brother was on a hunt with Dean a couple of years back, they were hunting Demons in Houston, Texas at a warehouse. Your brother Dean got my brother killed for being to reckless on the hunt, they separated your stupid brother lead mine into the trap. The tore Andy apart while Dean stood there and watch, so now I'm going to do payback with you to show Dean how it feels."

"Hate to burst your bubble, Dean wants nothing to do with me, kick me out of his life. If you want payback go get his brother Benny, he'll be more concern about him not me."

"Well, if he don't care about you then he won't mind if we tear you apart, but first we are going to have some fun with you. I bet Dean will care when we bring you back, well I have some things to do have fun Reggie and Tim."

Turning from Sam Nathan walked out the door towards the steps, when he reaches the top one he heard Sam's screams of pain. Smiling to himself he pick up the shirt walking to the door, when he started to walk out he heard more screams coming from down stairs. Getting into the car placing the bloody shirt next to him, he pulled out of the drive way heading towards the motel Dean is staying in. Stopping a few buildings from the building he walked the rest of the way, glancing around he didn't see anyone around in the parking lot. Looking at the door he saw the Impala parked right out side of it, seeing another car that was a station wagon with brown paneling. Walking up to the Impala he place the bloody shirt on the hood, so when Dean comes out it would be the first thing he sees. Walking back to the street he hid behind the bush and waited, hearing door opening he peered around the bush in the shadows. Seeing a man in a trench coat walking out a door next to the Impala, with a smaller man behind him closing the door. Waiting to see what they would do he looked around to make sure no-one was watching, he knew it would be tricky coming here in the morning he wanted to see Dean's face. What made him anger was the man in the coat took the shirt off the car, handing it to the smaller one who put it in his car. Turning on his heals he walked back to his car in an anger stride, he couldn't believe that man would move the shirt. He would need to ask Sam who he was and that little bastard, they both ruined his plan he had set up for the older brother.

~~~SPN~~~

Stepping out the door Castiel waited for Garth to pull into the parking lot, seeing a brown station wagon pulling in he waited for the hunter. As he pulled up the Angel could see he was wearing one of Bobby's old truckers hat, smiling at the thought of his friend who he lost as he waited for Garth. Waiting patiently while he got a room next too theirs the step inside to talk privately.

"I got your message, amigo, came as soon as I could, what's going on with Dean and Sam."

"I don't know what an amigo has to do with Sam missing, got your number from Dean's phone."

"Sam's missing, what happened, is Dean looking for him."

"That is why I called you in, Dean is not looking for his brother, he's helping a Vampire to find a nest instead of trying to find Sam."

"Wait! Dean is working with a vamp while Sam is missing? What happen since the last time we met?"

"It's a long story that I can tell you while we search for Sam, we need to get going I got a feeling he's in trouble."

"Okay, let's get going then and Garth this town on our search for Sam."

"Garth this town, do I want to know what that means."

Garth looked at Cas shaking his head at him, Dean and Sam has told him about the Angel. They were telling him the truth on how he is.

"Never mind let's get going we need to find Sam."

Opening the door Cas looked over at Dean's door deciding if he wanted to tell him, thinking it over he thought better of it. As he turned toward the smaller man he notice Sam's shirt on the car, walking over he pick it up seeing blood he search the parking lot. He knew who ever put it here can't be too far away, hearing a vehicle driving down the road he couldn't get a good look at it. Knowing the person has to be close he check carefully, maybe someone was hiding in a shadows of the trees or bushes. Seeing no-one he was about to hand it too Garth when he heard Dean's door opening, telling the man to hid it in his car he turned blocking Dean's view. What Cas didn't know is when he took the shirt off the hood, he smear some blood over the car black skin.

Glancing over to the older hunter he waited for him to say something as he walked out, hearing a car door close he felt Garth next to him. Waiting for Dean's response which he knew was coming, when he found out what he was doing he would be anger. Not caring on what the older brother had to say Cas walked over to Garth car, ready to get in he heard Dean asking him where's he's going.

"Cas what are you doing out here this early-what is Garth doing here?"

"Amigo, here called me in to help find Sam-"

"Dammit Cas I told you to leave that subject alone about Sam, he was the one who left-"

"Why did he leave, Dean?"

"Because he's a selfish bastard that's why."

"That is not the truth Dean you told him to leave after you hit him, telling him he's not your brother anymore, can't even trust him, should have left his sorry ass behind. Did I cover everything you said to him."

"Cas I didn't mean any of that Sam knows how I-"

"Dean, Sam has been trying to make things up to you for what he did, you have been tearing him down every time he tries to say anything. Yes Dean you did mean everything you said to him so don't lie to me, you broke your brother now he could be somewhere dying or dead and do you care." Cas waited for an answer from the older brother, not getting one who knew his answer. "You don't care about Sam anymore."

Cas shook his head as he got into Garth car not hearing on what Dean said to him; he's done with the man's attitude towards his brother. He will go out and find Sam himself takes him away so Dean won't be able to find him.

~~~SPN~~~

Pulling out of the parking lot Garth headed for down town to start their search, he glance over at Cas to see if there was any reaction from him. He could see how angry the Angel is at Dean for not caring about Sam, he was surprise to hear it from Dean in not so many words. When they reach down town Garth looked for a parking space, finding one he pulled in shutting off the engine he glance over at the Angel. He needed to know what the plan was.

"Cas, what do you have in plan?"

"We go and asked questions if anyone notice anything strange going on, isn't that what you hunters do?"

"We do ask questions Cas even look for things that might not be notice by others, let's go start at that that bar over there to see what they might know?"

Before getting out of the car Garth reach over to his glove department, pulling out an ID for a federal agent. Glancing at the man next to him he motion to see if he had one, pulling his ID out of his pocket they both got out of the car.

Walking around the car the younger hunter walked down the sidewalk towards the bar, he didn't have to look too see if Cas was behind him. Pulling the door open he waited until Cas walked in before he step inside, looking around he saw a man standing behind the counter with two people sitting next to him. Pulling out a picture of Sam he walked up to them with Cas behind him, stepping up Garth nodded his head to him to come over. Pulling out his badge motioning Cas to do the same he showed him who he is, handing him the picture he asked if he saw this man.

"How may I help you gentlemen?" Greg asked them as he walked up to them.

"I'm Detective Ryan Carver and this is my partner Detective Jim Singer, we are looking for this man who went missing five days ago."

"What has he done to have two Detective looking for him?"

"He hasn't done anything wrong he's a friend of the family, he was supposed to get together with my sister. When he didn't show up she waited a few days before calling us, we have been checking around for two days now."

"I know most of the people that come in here to drink and have fun, I haven't seen this man come into my bar." Turning to his friends he asked them. "Billy, Donny have you seen this gentlemen at your jobs."

Walking over to his friends he showed them a picture of Sam, shaking their heads no he gave the picture back to Garth.

"Sorry, we couldn't help your sister find her friend Detective, hope he does show up soon." Billy after he handed the picture back Greg.

"What about you, Donny have you seen her friend?" Cas asked when he didn't answer.

"No, I have never seen the man before at my job, sorry I have to go now see you later, Greg."

Donny stepped off the stool heading towards the door, glancing back to see if anyone was following him. Having a feeling he was lying Cas told Garth he had to use the restroom, stepping out the back door he hurried to see were the man was heading. Following him closely not close enough to be seen by him, he notice the man looked nervously around to make sure he wasn't being followed.

As the man walked into a building Cas notice it was apartments not his work place, carefully he walked in as he stepped into the elevator. Seeing what floor he stopped at the Angel looked around the lobby, seeing no one in sight he disappeared with a flutter of wings. Appearing in the hallway he saw the man enter a room down the hall, walking quietly as he can he stopped in front of the door listening carefully. He could hear him talking to someone about some people looking for someone, confused he turned the doorknob seeing if it was lock, it wasn't. Stepping inside Donny's back was to him as he talked on the phone, waiting for the man to get off Cas stood and waited for him.

"Hey there are some Detectives here asking the same questions as the others...no I didn't tell them anything...you know what they said if we spoke to anyone...you might want to die I don't...well then I have to keep low so they can't find me...thanks for the help buddy bye."

Hanging up the phone he turned around shock to see Cas standing behind him, placing two fingers on his forehead both men were outside in a back alley. Looking stunned at what just happen the man look fearfully at the Angel, glancing for a way out not seeing one he stepped back from the Detective/Angel.

"How did we get here? What the hell do you want?"

"I know you are lying about my friend when you saw his picture, I can tell when someone is lying you are."

"I don't know anything I sw-" Donny felt pain on his back as air was pushed out of his lungs.

"Don't lie to me there's something you know about him, who were you talking too on the phone. Don't say it was nothing I heard the fear in your voice, so what are you hiding from me."

"Okay, okay don't get your panties in a bunch dude, the only thing I know is that there were four guys looking for him."

"Who were these guys? What did they want from you?"

"They came into my job two days ago asking if we saw that same person, my co-worker said he saw him around town walking like he lost his best friend. They asked if we know where he is staying, what time does he show up, in what direction he came from. I couldn't tell them anything since I have never seen him, my co-worker told them everything they wanted to hear. When they left their leader told us if we ever said a word about this, they would come back and kill us."

"So we kept quiet about the talk with them, not telling anyone on what they said. I have a family to protect so I couldn't have them comeback, they might have killed me and my wife and kids."

"We does your co-worker live so I can go question him, he might know where they are staying."

"He's not in town he left for vacation last night to California, he won't be back for two weeks. Even trying to call him he won't talked about what they did, he came back scared like he shit himself, what ever they did to him he won't say."

"That would be useless to talk to him or trying to find him, were these four men carrying guns or knives. I have to know if they are hunters or some other creature."

"Where are you from talking about hunters or creatures, this is not the twilight zone-" Feeling another round of pain to the back and head as he hit the brick wall. "Okay, okay no they didn't have guns or knives that I could see."

"Then they must have been hiding them from you when they came in, if you say one word what I said or did I will come back and smite you. Do I make myself clear."

Seeing the man shaking his head yes to his question, Cas laid two fingers on his forehead knocking him out before placing him back in his room. Appearing again in the bar's bathroom he walked out the door, seeing Garth still talking with the owner he motion the hunter too leave.

"I was thinking you fell into the toilet Cas, what took you so long." Garth asked the men.

"I followed the gentleman to his apartment building took him out back to talk, he said there were four men here two days ago looking for Sam. He didn't see Sam, his co-work has, they asked him where they saw him around town. The boy told them after he showed them in what direction Sam went to, was going to talk to him he's on vacation in California so I won't be able to find him."

"That is just great, BALLS! What are we going to do now Cas, how are we going to find Sam."

"We need to ask around some more to see if anyone has seen him, or maybe asked about the Vampires that are in town."

"One hunter to an Angel Cas, you don't go asking about Vampires to people, they might think you got out of the funny farm. Let's go and asked some people if they heard of disappearance."

Walking with his new friend he let Garth take the lead on the questions.

~~~SPN~~~

Dean stood like he was frozen when Cas asked him if he cared about Sam, if he cared if he was dead to him. He did care for his little brother just because he was piss as hell at him, didn't mean he didn't care about him. He does have a right to be piss at his brother for what happen, Dean would never give up looking for Sam no matter what. So why did Sam give up so easily on looking for him for a whole year, thinking about it brought a whole new level of anger towards his brother. He was seeing red when he thinks about all the betrayal Sam has ever done to him, breathing hard to calm the ragging fire in him he turned back to the door. Running his hand over the hood he felt something sticky on his hand, looking he saw red blood on his palms and fingertips. Frowning on how it could have gotten there he would have to asked his brother, opening the door he looked over at Benny who was now sitting at the table.

"Hey brother, what was all that about?"

"Cas still has the idea that Sam is hurt or dying, when in truth he's just hiding licking his wounds."

"Chief, maybe we should go look for Sam-"

"Benny, don't you start this shit now, he's an adult he can take care of himself. He didn't need me when I was in Purgatory, he don't need me now when I'm back. It's what he wants so he has it now see how far he'll get, by the way why is there blood on the hood of the Impala. Did we get into a fight last night at the bar, or maybe on a hunt can't remember how it got there?"

"I couldn't tell you, Chief, how it got there don't know, we should go-let me finish, go look for the Vamp nest now while the sun is out."

"Benny, the sun will burn you too if you are out in it too long, how are you suppose to hunt with me during the day?"

"I will hide in the back seat of the Impala with towels covering the windows, when we get to a few places let me off in the shade."

"Alright let's go then brother so we can find some Vamps to kill."

Grabbing a few towels Dean open the back passenger door for Benny to get in, leaving the his friend he headed back inside secretly leaving Sam a note.

As Dean headed back inside Benny smile wickedly as his plans were going perfectly.

~~~SPN~~~

Storming back inside of the house they had Sam held in, Nathan ran down stairs to confront Sam about the younger hunter and man in trench coat. Walking into the room in a anger stride he pushed Tim and Reggie away from Sam, he didn't care if they were cutting him or not, he needed answers.

"You are going to tell me who is that person in the trench coat is, who is the younger man with him looking like a string bean."

Breathing through the pain Sam was in he could only hear some of the words the man said, blinking slowly he looked at the man with a blank face. Trying to focus on him he felt a sharp pain to the head when Nathan hit him hard, shaking the stars out of his sight he glance at the man in front of him.

Leaning further into Sam space he asked the man again who they were.

"Answer my question Sam who is the man in the trench coat, and the string bean man beside him, won't be asking again."

"D-don't know about the thin man who were talking about, Cas wears a coat, that could be him. There are only three of them staying there in the room."

"Don't lie to me Winchester not in the mood right now, planted something for your brother too see those two ruined it. So I'm asking one more time, who is the string bean man."

"I don't know who he is, there was only Dean, Benny and Cas that was it."

Seeing the anger in the man eyes put the fear in Sam, he didn't see the knife coming until he felt the pain in his side. Screaming as it went in deep Nathan moved it around giving as much pain as possible, hearing his screams excited the man he's going to give him more if he don't get the answer he wanted.

"Who is the young man that looks like a string bean Winchester."

"I-I d-don't k-know." Sam told him between gasp of pain.

"That is not the answer I'm looking for Sammy, I'm going to get my answer one way or another. You two go out and get some lunch, while Sam and I have some fun together."

Glancing at the two men who were moving he shoved them out the door, waiting for them to leave the house he turned back to Sam. Twirling the knife in his hand he walked behind Sam placing his hand on his shoulder, leaning close to his hear he asked the same question to him.

"You are going to tell me who the other hunter is Winchester, or I'm going to carve you up like a Christmas Turkey. Placing your parts in a bag before I returned them to your brother, going to see that look of lost in his eyes when he sees you."

"I already told you I don't know who the other hunter is, as for Dean he won't care if you kill me. He will thank you for putting me out of his life."

"Well Sam we'll have to see about that now won't we."

Taking the knife Nathan pushed it in on Sam's left side, he made sure he miss any vital organs. He wanted his capture in a whole lot of pain, didn't want to kill him to fast he wanted to enjoy it. Listening to the screams coming from the man in front of him, he moved to the other side pushing the knife in deep. He kept on doing it until Sam past out from the pain, cleaning the wounds making sure the bleeding stop before he left the room. His friends came back with lunch and he wanted Sam rested before he started some more, this time he'll used something else to deliver the pain.

Stepping back in he saw that Sam was just waking up from his last time with him, stepping up to him he cut the ropes from his wrist, ankles and chest. Going back to the table he pick up a hammer before turning around, seeing the horror in the man's face he smile at him.

Seeing the man walking up to him Sam got off the chair only to fall on the floor hard, he couldn't stop the scream from coming when he hit the concrete. Trying to get back up he felt a sharp blow to his left knee cap, hearing a pop he knew it's been dislocated breathing threw the pain as he laid on his side. Glancing up he saw Nathan standing over him with the hammer in his hand, he couldn't stop the blow that was coming to his damage knee. Feeling the hammer hitting hard to his knee cap not hard enough to break it, he scream from the pain that shoot through his leg before another blow hit on his leg. Looking up with pain filled eyes he saw Nathan kneeling down to him, once again asking the same question as before. Getting the same answer angered the hunter to no end, getting back up he went back to the table getting the cattle prongs. He step up to the men turning them on listening to him pleading not to do it, he smile wickedly when the first shock went through his body. He kept it up until Sam block out from the pain, only to start again when he woke up not giving him any time to rest.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting on the bed in the motel room, Dean was getting annoyed with the hunt. They had been searching for a week and a half for the vampire nest with no success. They had checked every part of town he could think of, investigating warehouses, abandoned businesses and homes, and dark alleys only coming up empty every time. Even though he wouldn't admit it he was worried about Sam too. Dean hadn't heard from his brother in almost three weeks. It wasn't like Sam to get up and leave with a hunt going on, with people dying, he tried to call Sam when he was alone only to get his voice mail. He even left messages a few times even though it was with anger, he was still piss at Sam for attacking Benny and leaving him in Purgatory. There was a little part of him that still worried about his brother being away from his care, he just couldn't get past the anger he's feeling towards Sam this time.

Then there's Cas and Garth working together to find Sam even though he told them not to, he needed his friend to help him find the nest not waste his time looking for Sam. Ever since Garth arrived Cas has been spending all his time in his room, never once coming into his and Benny's room to talk. When they do meet each other outside the Angel just ignores him, like he's not even there when they are two feet from each other. Dean is not jealous that his friend is spending all his time with the younger hunter; he's just annoyed that the Angel won't help him find the nest so they can kill the Vamps. He's ready to leave this town behind them been here to long for his liking, even if it means leaving Sam behind he'll do it. Maybe being away from his brother is something they both need right now, even with Sam gone for almost three weeks it didn't seem long enough for him.

Sitting here alone in the motel room was giving him to much time to think, glancing over at Sam's duffel he wanted so much to go through it. They always had been through each other bags over the years of living together, so why should it be any different now even though he's not here. He always invaded his brother's privacy by going through his stuff; it was payback for Sam going through his stuff when they were younger. Getting off the bed he walked over to the duffel pulling it closer to him, reaching for the zipper, he was about to zip it open until the anger came back to him. Shoving the bag to the floor he walked out the door, there a bar he needed to go to so he can get himself drunk.

Thirty minutes and two beers later, Dean was sitting on the bar stool ready for a third beer, the waitress came up asking if he wanted another one. She can tell when people come in with the weight of the world on their shoulders, this one looks just like that with something else that going on with him. His posture is telling her that he is carrying a lot of disappointment, anger, betrayal and hardship. She has learned from the past that talking does help, she always can get them to talk to her about their problems walking away feeling better then coming in. Seeing that it was here break time now would be a good time to talk with him, walking up to the handsome man she sat down next to him with her drink.

"I can see that you have a lot on your mind, I'm a good listener if you want to talk about it." Seeing his piercing green eyes took her breath away, yes they were beautiful but there's was a lot of pain in them.

"Do you always come off this strong, Sweetheart?"

"I don't mean no harm, I can tell when someone needs to talk, working here as long as I have you pick up this stuff."

"Yeah, well my life it's not an open book, it's a dark place that no-one needs to know about."

"Even a dark place needs some light to make it less creepy, as for a book sometimes it's good to have an open one."

"Well, Sweetheart this book of mine is not an open one to share, as for my dark place-" Dean stop when he heard the door open, out of habit he looked to see if it was Sam, seeing two men walking in he turned back to her. "Like those two you can talked to their books are not closed."

"If you saying what I think you are about them it's not true, they are brother's who come here every night at this time. They are always joking with each other bantering, shoving, teasing one another, they are very close never seen a brotherhood like theirs."

"Well you have never seen me and my brother when we were close a long time ago, now he has his own life he wanted without me in it. They-" Pointing at the two brothers "might seem close now give them time, the younger one will screw over the older one without a second thought."

"Sounds like you are talking from experience on being an older brother who's been burned to many times, they had a rough patch that almost broke their brotherhood apart beyond repair. Something bad happen to the youngest almost lost him, jolted the older one to put all the hurt away that he was feeling." Looking closely at the man next to her, she glazes deeply into his eyes before she had to say something important to him. "I can tell you were hurt from your younger brother at some point in your life, even maybe right now something bad happen between you two. Just remember this from a wise lady who seen it all, no anger can replace the love of a brother no matter how they do you wrong. Friends come and go from your life like water through a strainer, brother's bond stays for a life time with love and understanding. Once when that love is gone taken from your life never to come back, will dig a deep hole in your soul you'll never be able to fill. I should know I lost my younger brother cause of anger and hate, I wish I never said what I did will never be able to take it back now."

Getting up from her seat next to Dean she was about to turn around, feeling a hand on her arm she turned back to him.

"How would you know I'm an older brother who's having issues with a younger brother?"

"'Cause, I can see it in your eyes sir, it's the same look I had when I was anger."

"Okay, there's one thing between you and me sweetheart, I have done so much for my younger to only have it thrown into my face. He betrayed me, taking sides with an evil person, leaving me for dead when I wasn't, never wanting to be in my life, always running away. Does that sounds like a brother who really cares for his oldest."

"To me it sounds like an older brother who doesn't care for his youngest brother, there's nothing he could do to deserve all the hate you are giving him. You rather leave him behind then to talk to him, taking sides with someone else then his, throwing him out with out even figuring out what happen. I may not know you but I can see it writing all over you, he's not the one who's giving in you are."

Dean sat there stunned on what he just heard from the lady, how would she know what happen between him and Sam. He didn't tell her a damn thing on what went down; so how in the hell would see know.

"Right now you are wondering how I would know all of this, I can read people very well on how they are feeling. It's a gift I have always had when it comes to other people; wish I could had it when I lost my little brother. After he died my gift came out stronger for other siblings, hoping I can help them before they loose one another."

"I have been around a lot of people like you who think they can read me and my brother, they all have been wrong about us so forgive me if I don't believe. Don't go judging me cause you had a bad relationship with your own brother, mine has always been filled with lies, anger, betrayal giving up on me. I'm done with it I need my own time to get things figured out, so don't you dare act like you are to good for anyone."

Feeling his anger getting stronger he got off the stool storming out of the bar, leaving the lady behind him with a shock look on her face. He didn't need anyone telling him how he should be feeling about Sam, he has every right to be anger with him right now with everything that been going on. Getting back at the motel he saw that Benny was back waiting for him, by the looks of it he could have information about the nest. As he was listening to his friend there's was a knock on the door, pulling the door open he saw it was Garth who walked right in side the room. Sighing in frustration by the intrusion from the younger hunter, he turned glaring at the man in front of him.

"Garth, what they hell do you want?"

"Dean I can't believe that you are not looking for Sam, don't you even care about him-"

The young man didn't finish when Dean turned on him.

"I'm getting tired of you and Cas ragging on me about Sam, he was the one who left me to rot in Purgatory. To go live a normal happy life he always wanted with a woman, never once looking for me. Betraying me with a Demon by drinking Demon blood to kill Lilith, lying to me the whole time thinking he was better then me. Sam made his own bed now he has to lye in it and see where it gets him, get the hell out of here before I throw you out, take this with you I don't need or want it."

Picking up Sam's duffel he throw it at Garth as he pushed him out the door, slamming it shut he turned towards Benny daring him to say anything.

A week later Dean and Benny were sitting on the beds watching a game on T.V, taking a break from looking for the nest. All the leads they had were leading to dead ends; even researching wasn't getting him any where. Times like this is when he wish he had Sam with him to do that stuff, he was better at the search then he was just now he didn't want it. Something in the back of his mind was telling him that someone was playing them, how can all these Vamps disappear without anyone seeing them. Someone had to see something or where they were going at least, the only thing he got was dead ends at being annoyed by the end of the day. Now they were just relaxing watch the football game on T.V drinking beers, being involved with the pass that was just thrown there's was a knock on the door. He didn't really want to go answer it thinking it was Cas or Garth, maybe even Sam with his tail between his legs. When he opening he saw a strange man his height with blonde hair, hazel eyes, dress in a long blue sleeve shirt with blue jeans. Looking at the man who he didn't recognize became annoyed for being taken away from his game.

"May I help you?"

"You don't remember me Dean, I'm so hurt by that."

"Nathan, what do you want?"

"I got something of yours that you handed to me on a silver platter, that I could use to hurt you."

Dean looked at at the man before him wonder what he was talking about, what could he use to hurt him with.

"What could you used to get back at me for what?"

Standing there stunned for just a second Nathan wonder if Sam was telling the truth, if so he just wasted four weeks for nothing.

"Boy, Sammy-boy was right. You don't care about him anymore."

Hearing his brother's name his heart slammed into his chest, taking the air out of his lungs. Before he even thought about it he asked.

"Where's Sammy?"

~~~SPN~~~

Lying on the mattress in the corner of the room Sam wasn't sure how long he's been there; it could have been weeks or even months, he didn't know. There were no windows in the room to see if it was night or day, the only light he had was from a lamp on a nightstand in the corner they kept on. The other light they turned on when they would come in to torture him, they wanted to see him scream, whimper, cry when they tortured him. He lost count on how many times they would come in to start the beatings, that lead to them cutting, stabbing, burning, branding him. Even took him to another room to waterboarding him, which was the worse, when they started the torture it felt like he was drowning in water. Sometimes they would stop to give him a few minutes to recover, other times they kept doing it over and over again. Now his chest hurts to breath like he was coming down with a cold, his lungs felt like a sponge soak in water all day.

Besides pain in his chest it hurts to breath with his broken ribs from the kicking and beatings, they would start hitting him in the face, chest, ribs and back. When the let him dropped to the floor they would kick him hard, hearing bone cracking when Tim and Reggie made contact with his ribs. The kicks would come in fast and hard not giving him time to move, lying on his back with both of them on either side kicking him. When they were done both hunters left the room leaving him breathing through his pain, when he would try to move pain would erupt through him taking his breath away. Now he's laying on the mattress half on with his legs on the floor, he didn't have the energy to move any further. Hearing foots steps coming down the stair panic went through him, he was not ready for another beating like the one he receive just hours ago. Breathing hard out of fear he saw Reggie coming in with a whip in hand, hitching a breath he knew what was coming from the hunter. With his back already burning from his last whipping he got, he wasn't ready for another one begging him not to do it. With his hands tied he couldn't move away fast enough before he was roughly lifted up, the movement shot white hot pain through his already abuse body. He couldn't stop the hunter from hanging him from the hook, stepping in front he showed Sam the whip he was going to use on him. Smiling at the fear in the young man face as he saw the barb at the end of each rope, the whip had six pieces of rope hanging from the handle with two barbs at the end. Hearing the whooshing sound before he felt the hot pain, screams came with each hit was done to his back until he couldn't scream anymore. Stepping in front Reggie saw that he had enough of his whipping for now, he would returned later to do some more damage to him. When he was about to leave he heard Sam whisper something to him, stepping closer to hear what he was saying he smirk at what he heard.

"W-why don't you kill me?"

Sam said winded from his whipping he just received.

"I would love to put a knife through you heart Winchester, right now but Nathan has other plans for you which I don't know why."

"'Cause it's not your business to know why Reggie, go upstairs help Tim get ready to leave."

Seeing the hunter leave the room angrily he turned his attention to Sam, walking up to him he smile at the damage they done to him. He was pretty sure Dean would not be happy seeing his brother like this, even though Sam told him differently he knew all about the bond between the brothers.

"I could let them kill you right now Sam, I have better plans on what they plan for you."

Lifting his head to look Nathan in the eyes with his one good eye, he saw a smirk that ran his blood cold. Being winded he took a few deep breaths as he could with his broken and crack ribs, every breath he took put pressure on them taking his breath away at the same time. Hanging from his wrists wasn't helping with his already abused body, having his hands about his head was pulling on his damage shoulder, which in turned shot pain through his body causing him to gasp for breath. With exhausting, blood lost, beatings, whippings, cutting put a lot of strain on him, lifting he had a hard time trying to keep his heavy head up.

"What other-plans-do they-have for me."

"Tim wanted to cut your throat let you bleed out as we left the house, Reggie as you know wanted to kill you right away. I had other plans that were a whole lot better then that, we are going to go see big brother who is still at the motel. I saw him threw that string bean out the door with what looked like a duffel bag, I'm assuming it was ours since he would need his."

"I told you-he wants nothing to do with me-why take me-he'll be happy if you kill me now."

"Well you see Sam I have been watching him carefully these last few weeks, even though he's working with a Vampire I can tell he keeps looking for you. I see him looking around like he's trying to find something he lost, when he can't find it he gets this little bit of a worried look in his eyes. I'm assuming he's looking to see if you are coming back, when he don't see you I can see he's upset about it."

"He's not upset about me, already told you he don't want me anymore, why don't you believe me."

"Well we'll see about that Sam let's get you ready to go see big brother, if you are telling the truth we'll be happy to kill you in front of him."

With that said Nathan took Sam off the hook letting him fall to the floor hard, hearing the screams as he hit was music to his ears. Leaning down he roughly pulled Sam to his feet laughing as he heard the whimpers of pain, dragging him out of the room and up the stairs he wasn't being careful one bit. He wanted to cause him as much pain as he could as they went up the stairs, stepping into the living room he motion Reggie and Tim over. Handing the man over to them so he could get a blanket to cover the seats, even though they were bring the young hunter to his death he didn't want blood on his seats.

Reggie and Tim walked out the door with Sam between them holding onto his arms, keeping him upright as they walked to the car. Going down the steps they dragged the young man down them not even being careful about it, hearing the groans, whimpers and soft screams made them laugh. They both took pleasure giving Sam pain for what happen to their friend, both couldn't wait until they could kill Sam. Stepping up to the car Reggie open the back driver side door waiting for Nathan to cover Sam's back, when the blanket was on the hunter pushed the young man into the car. Hearing a loud scream coming from the man he laugh at his pain, feeling a hit to his shoulder he glance over at Nathan who was glaring at him. Shrugging his shoulders and with Tim's help the got Sam sitting between them, listening to his sharp breaths they both took pleasure in his pain he was in.

Sam tried to carry his weight as the two hunters walked him out the door, with lack of sleep, blood lost, the beating he was exhausted. Stumbling down the stairs sent pain through his whole entire body, biting his lip to hold in the scream that wanted to come out. Ever step he made hurt like hell as he tried to get his feet to move, with his damage knee from being dislocated so many times he couldn't bend it. Feeling the blanket covering his back he couldn't stop the whimper that came, what got him screaming was when he was pushed into the car. White-hot pain erupt though his chest when he hit the seat hard, with his hands still tied he couldn't stop the fall or himself. Lying on his stomach he couldn't catch his breath as he gasp, it hurt so bad it took his breath away if that was even possible. Trying to breath while on his stomach, with broken ribs, lungs burning, every movement took what air he had left out. He felt the panic rise when he couldn't breath to get some air in, seeing black dots forming in his eyes site he knew this was it. He was at least hoping to see Dean one last time before he check out, just to see if he really cared about him or even loved him. When he felt the darkness over come him from the lack of oxygen, he felt a mask covering his mouth and nose with much needed air coming into his lungs. Taking in as deep breaths as he could the fog was clearing from his mind, hearing them arguing about what just happen he couldn't make out the words that were said.

As the drove down the road towards the motel Sam couldn't help the panic he was feeling, all the words that Dean said to him came back to him in full force. Hearing them in his head he couldn't get them out no matter how hard he tried, seeing the hate in Dean's eyes as he said he wish he was never born. Telling him they were not brothers anymore, saying that Benny was a better brother, he should have left him on the side of the road. All the words were swarming through his head was making him dizzy, feeling his heart ache knowing that Dean wants him dead broke something in Sam. All the pain he went through with the torturing from the hunters wasn't painful as Dean's words, what he said cut Sam deep more then the knives they used on him.

Pulling into the parking lot of the motel ten minutes Nathan parked on the other side of the lot, turning around he glared at Tim and Reggie still piss at them for what happen to Sam.

"I'm going to talk with Dean, you two better not pulled a stunt like you did, we need Sam alive just a little longer, Got It!"

"Yeah we got it couldn't help myself when I shoved him in, wanted to give him more pain for the pain I'm feeling." Reggie said with no remorse in his voice.

"Reggie Sam is not good to us if he dies before we talk with Dean, I want his brother to feel the pain I felt when my brother died. Want to see that lost in his eyes before you slice Sam's throat right in front of him, then he's going to know what it means to loose someone you love. Take this shoved it in his mouth and tied it around his head, don't want him to give anything away until I'm ready." Nathan said as he gave Tim the gag.

Watching the man do as he was told before getting out of the car, smirking at the young man's distress before he got out of the car. Walking up to the door he knock glancing back to make sure they were ready.

Sam watch as Nathan got out of the car walking up to the motel room door, he notice another car next to the Impala seeing it was Garth's. He knows now who the man was talking about the string bean man, the young hunter was thin and small for a hunter of the Supernatural. Turning his eyes towards Dean's door as Nathan stood in front of, out of the corner of his eye he saw Reggie opening the window. They wanted to hear the conversation Nathan and Dean were having with each other, when the younger brother heard Dean's voice caring his name fear went through him. He couldn't stop the shiver that went through his abuse body, whimpering at the pain by the movement he felt tears in the back of his eyes. Blinking them away he didn't want the hunters to see the pain in his heart, when he heard Dean's voice he thought it was from anger not worry. Seeing Nathan motioning for them to come out of the car, Sam felt like he was walking to his death when he was drag out of the car.

~~~SPN~~~

Nathan stood stunned for just a moment when he heard Dean's words, did his little brother really mean that little to him. He wonder did he spend four weeks with him for nothing to get pay back, he was wondering now he should have taken the Vampire instead. Gathering his thoughts he shook himself from his shock, about to turned away he had one last thing to say to Dean.

"Boy, Sammy-boy was right. You don't care about him anymore."

Hearing his brother's name his heart slammed into his chest, taking the air out of his lungs. Before he even thought about it he asked.

"Where's Sammy?"

Hearing the words coming from his mouth he wasn't sure if he whispered or scream them, the only thing he felt was his heart stopping in his chest. Looking around frantically for his brother with fear in his heart, when he didn't see him he glared at the man he wanted his Sammy.

"Where's Sam?! I want to see him now Nathan!"

"Oh Dean, he's right here."

Turning around he wave to the two men in the car to bring the younger brother, seeing the doors open he glance back at Dean he wanted to see his reaction.

Dean looked behind the man in front of him to the car across the lot, seeing the door open he waited with baited breath to see his brother. Seeing two men who he recognized as hunter friends of his dad, he watches one of them reach into the car pulling someone out. Taking a sharp inhale of breath he didn't realize he was holding, when he saw his little brother being dragged out of the car. His eyes widen when he saw the condition of his sibling, seeing the bruises on his face with one eye swollen shut, to the cuts, burns, whip marks on his body. Angered flare through Dean as he took in his brother abused body, he really wanted to hurt somebody at the moment for what happen to him. Seeing Sam ducking his head he thought it was from exhausting, when in real it was from being ashamed to have to put Dean through this.

Seeing the three men walking up he notice Sam was barely walking on his own, when he did he saw him limping as the came closer. Stopping a few feet from Dean so he can get a good look at his brother, Sam not once lifting his head he kept it bowed not wanting to see the disappointment. Rage surge through Dean as he looked over the young man in front of him, they were going to pay for what they did to his sibling. Turning angry eyes on Nathan he was going to let him know a thing or too, before he could say anything the man spoke up first.

"You see Dean, Sammy and I had a long talk about you, wondering if you really care about your little brother here. Isn't that right Sammy?"

The older man looked over at Sam roughly taking the gag out of his mouth, hearing a growl from the older brother when Sam whimpered.

"You see Dean, he told me that you don't care about him anymore, so we brought him over here to see if that is true or not."

Dean stood stunned gasping at what he just heard about his little brother, glancing over at Sam who's head was still down. 'How can you think that Sammy of course I still care about you kiddo.' Dean said to himself since he couldn't get the words out just then, finding his voice he turned angry eyes back on Nathan.

"Of course I care about Sammy." Dean almost screamed it out.

"If you care about him why did you kick him to the curb, so a vampire took him to feed on him. Is that what you mean about caring for him Dean?"

"No, Sam, I was angry you didn't have to attack Benny-"

Dean was cut off by Sam's soft voice.

"I didn't attack Benny-what's the use you won't believe me-" Sam wondering why even try Dean still won't believe him. "Never mind I told them you wouldn't care if they killed me."

Dean could hear no emotions in Sam's voice as he talked to him, never once lifting his head to look at him. After all this time Sam still denies that he attack Benny first, maybe he was telling the truth that Benny attack him. Before Dean could say anything else to Sam Nathan spoke up.

"Well, hate to break up this family reunion Dean between you and your brother, we came here to see if you cared about him or not." Raising his hand to Reggie letting him know to slit his throat, he wanted to see what Dean would do.

Reggie motion to Tim to lift Sam's head since the man not once looked up, getting his knife out of his pocket he waited. Tim grabbed a handful of Sam's hair pulling his head back, so he was looking straight at Dean with one good eye. What Dean saw took his breath away when he saw a blank look in his eyes, Sam was going to let them kill him right there not on Dean watch.

Yelling for Castiel to come and help Dean charge at Nathan taking him by surprise, grabbing the man's knife he stabbed him in the heart killing him instantly. Looking over he had to make sure they didn't kill Sam yet, seeing his friend behind them he smirk at them when he told them to look behind.

"Reggie and Tim look behind you dumb asses."

Seeing the shock looks on their faces seeing the Angel behind them, made Dean smile just a little at their stupidity. Watching as Cas place his fingers against their foreheads he watch them fall like rocks, his heart jump in his chest as Sam sway a little before catching himself.

Getting off of Nathan the older brother ran over to his sibling, who was just barely standing on his own two feet. Reaching out to him he flinch when Sam jerk away from his touch, seeing some kind of recognized in his eyes he moved slowly to him. Grabbing him by his arm carefully as not to hurt him any further, Dean kept his brother standing by supporting him with his hands. When the younger man leaned forward the older brother reach around his back, jerking away when Sam flinch from his touch concerning the man. Grabbing his shoulders he looked behind his brother to see what hurt him, gasping in shock when he saw all the red fresh whip mark all over his back. Barely containing himself at the sight of his little brother's abused body, he had to swallow down bile of vomit that threatened to come up.

Knowing he had to get his brother into the motel room he carefully wrapped his arm around his chest, seeing the bruises he knew he had a few broken ribs which he will check once inside. Hearing movement from the door he felt Sam's fear when he saw Benny standing there, feeling more then seeing his brother trying to back away from the Vamp. Dean became suspicious by his brother's actions when his friend stepped out, those were of someone who's been attack and fear of being attack again. Before he could ask Benny anything he felt Sam fall into him before going to the ground, hearing the screams of pain coming from the young man made Dean panic and yelling for Castiel.

"Benny, is there something-Sammy whoa there kiddo-Castiel I need your help." Dean couldn't catch Sam in time before hitting the ground, feeling himself being pulled away he fought back. "Cas please Sam needs your help-hey let me go I have to be with Sammy-Garth get away from my brother. Damn-it Cas let me go now-I said let-"

Dean didn't have time to finish his argument when he was pushed hard into the Impala's driver door, the impact took all the air out of his lungs before crumbling to the ground. Blinking the black dots out of his eyes he looked over at the three men, Sam was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. Fear went through him at the thought of loosing him again, getting back up he walked over to the young man in question. Only to be stopped by Cas again before he could even take another step, trying to get around his friend his anger grew towards him. Finally he snapped.

"Cas, get the hell out of my way I need to get to Sammy, I said move, Cas you need to help him. Please he could be dying and you are trying to stop me going to him, move now damn-it and help my brother he's dying. Cas please-"

Both Cas and Dean looked over when they heard Sam weak voice talking to them, what Dean heard put the fear of god in him.

"Dean, it's what you want-said it yourself-wish I wasn't born-not-not your brother."

Sam didn't have the energy to do anything but lay on the ground were he fell, hearing Dean's concern voice he wish it was for him. He missed hearing that he only got the anger, hate, resentment voice of his brothers. Now he wished he could hear his concern before he slips into the darkness, his whole body was cold now going numb from the pain. He didn't stop the blackness that was just at the edge of his vision, he wanted all the pain and heartache gone there's was nothing here for him now. Hearing the anger again in Dean's voice broke Sam even more; he had to let his brother know it was what he wanted. Seeing the panic in Dean's eyes looking at him confused him since Dean hated him, he didn't need his pain in the ass, selfish, burden, and freak of a brother anymore. Sam was done he just wanted it to end all the pain; he had no reason to be living now so why even fight anymore.

Feeling warm hands on his face he open his eyes not even thinking he closed them, to see Dean concern teary eyes looking down at him. He had to tell him something, which was hard to do with no air in his lungs, before he could say anything Dean started to talk to him letting him know to fight.

"Sammy, you need to listen to me okay, you have to fight Sam-hey keep your eyes open that's it, look at me little brother please fight for me. I know what I did to you wasn't cool or what I said wasn't right, let me make it up to you please little bro. I love you Sammy I can't do this without you so please fight for me."

Sam wish he could believe what Dean just told him about loving him, and saying sorry for all the things he said to him. He knew they were all lies cause he knew Sam wanted to leave him behind; he was going to say what he wanted Sam to hear to believe in it. He couldn't let that happen Dean would be free of him finally, have the brother he always wanted in Benny. Knowing what he was going to say will cost him his last breaths, it was okay to let his brother knew he was free of him.

"O-okay Dean-you-you are free of me-don't love me-it's ok-" Sam didn't stop the darkness that engulf him, he welcome it leaving Dean free of his sorry ass.

"Sammy, come on man wake up, don't you dare check out like this. Sam open your damn eyes, breath you bastard, I said breath. Cas please heal him you can't let him die, not like this please."

"Dean, this is what you wanted: Sam being gone, I can't heal him I don't have enough power for that. Move out of the way I'm taking Sam some place safe from you, Garth is coming with me don't follow us."

With that Cas place two fingers on Sam and Garth's forehead before disappearing from sight, with a flutter of wings all three men were gone. Leaving one distraught man behind in a empty parking lot at the motel, he was so out of it he didn't see Reggie or Tim leave in the car. Looking around he saw that Benny was still standing there; he had a few words to say to him about what happen with Sam. Right now he had to get Cas back so he can be with Sam, he will deal with the Vampire another day.

"Cas, get your ass back here now or else!"

Not getting an answer he grew angry at the Angel for taking his brother, he didn't know what to do except look around at the hospitals. Knowing his friend like he does it won't be any where close to him, with one thing in mind finding his little brother he ran back into the motel. Grabbing his duffel before heading into Garth's room getting Sam's, throwing them into the truck getting into the car he shoved the key in turning her on. Throwing it into reverse that is when he realizes Benny was not around anymore, not caring at the moment he will look for the bastard after he finds Sam. With that in mind he pulled out of the parking lot, with one mission set in his mind finding his little brother.


	5. Chapter 5

Garth stood outside Dean's door after he shoved him along with Sam's duffel out the door, at first he just stood there, shocked by such a violent reaction from Dean about Sam. Shaking his head he glared at the door wanted to go back in to tell Dean off, thinking twice he decided to go back to his room to help Cas fine his missing friend. Walking back to his room he felt a shiver going down his spine, stopping he looked around the parking lot to see if someone was there. He got a feeling that he was being watch by the feeling he got, seeing no-one he open his and Cas's door taking one more look he closed it. Walking to his bed he place Sam's duffel at the foot before walking to the kitchen, opening the fridge he grab a can of coke before closing the door. Walking to the sink he grabbed a glass filling it with ice from the bucket, pouring the coke into the glass he sat at the table to think what to do next.

He has never heard such anger in Dean's voice when Sam's well being was concern, yes he had heard the brother's fight with each other from time to time. But to hear that much anger with a hint of hate towards his younger sibling, got Garth really worried about Sam now that he has been when he got here. Dean have not once even looked for his brother always hunting with Benny, it was more important to him to find the Vampires then to find his sibling. That is what got Garth the most troubling was Dean lack of concern for Sam, when they first met that's all the older brother worried about was his youngest. Now he doesn't even care if Sam was dead or even missing, he went to bars, hunt for the nest, and stay at the motel to watch the game. One way or another when they find Sam he was going to take him as far away as possible, he wasn't sure how he would pulled it off nothing will stand in his way.

Lost in his thoughts he didn't hear Cas coming back in or asking him about the duffel, until the Angel snap his fingers right in front of his face. Jerking out of his thinking he looked up to see Cas standing there, waiting for an answer that he didn't hear the question to.

"I'm sorry Cas, I didn't hear you come in, amigo."

"I asked you what is Sam's duffel doing on your bed."

"Went to talk to Dean about Sam but he got angry at me for bring his name up, shoved his duffel in my chest pushing me out the door. Didn't even get a chance to ask him why he's not looking for his brother, that idjit don't even care if Sam is dead or hurt somewhere alone. I don't get why he would be so hateful towards his own family, when I first met him he needed help to get Sam back to him."

"Now he don't care that he's missing rather go to a bar to drink, or hunt for Vampires, or watching the football game. He don't give a crap about Sam since he's got a new brother to pal around with, when we find Sam I'm taking him far away from Dean as possible. He probably wouldn't even look for us when I do-why are you looking at me like that."

Garth stopped his rant when he notice the Angel in front of him looking at him with a smirk.

"I have been thinking the same thing about taking Sam away from Dean, I have found a place to take him once we find him. Even found a Doctor who will treat him of his injuries without asking questions."

"Were you going to tell me this or keep me in the dark Cas? I might not be as good a friend as you are to Dean and Sam. I do consider them as my friend even my family like Bobby did, I know you don't know me but I do care about both of them."

"Garth, I was not keeping this a secret from you, didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure. You will be coming with me once when we get Sam back, I'm going to need someone to trust to keep an eye on him."

"Oh okay, one thing though amigo we don't know where Sam is right now, what Doctor have you found to care for Sam after we get him back."

"When Dean and Sam were fighting after Benny attacked my friend, I saw the teeth marks on his neck that Dean missed. When I went to look for Sam after he left I couldn't find him, I did feel a presents in an alley just across the street. I knew it was another Vampire by the aroma I smell when I search the area, it's the same aroma that Benny gives off that only beings like me can smell."

"If you knew that Sam was taken by a Vampire why didn't you tell Dean?"

"I tried to tell Dean that a Vampire took Sam that night when they fought, he told me that he didn't believe me and that Sam was only sulking. When we didn't see Sam for a few days that's when I called you, I knew someone has taken him and Dean wasn't listening to me."

"Sam has been gone for three weeks now with no sign of him, someone has him but where are they keeping him. We have check ever place in town that we can think of, even around the water's edge where all the old buildings are. I have even check the cemetery where Dean, Benny and I fought a group of Vamps, do you know of any other places we should check to find our friend."

Cas wished he had his full Angel powers to help find Sam with, since he's been back he has very little of his abilities that he once had.

"Why can't you just focus on Sam to find him that way, I thought Angels could find people if they used their powers?"

"Dean and Sam both have been brand by me to avoid Angels and Demons to find them, so I have no way of finding him even his phone is here with me. I feel so helpless that I can't find my friend to get him help; there only one way I can find Sam that is if they break his ribs. When they do it will break the power of the sigil he has branded on his ribs, that would be the only way I would be able too find Sam."

"So you are saying that they would have to break Sam's ribs for you to find him, that would put him in so much pain if that happens. Or worse it could kill him if they puncture a lung in the progress, either way Sam could die before we can get to him is what you are saying."

"Yes that is what I'm saying? Wish I could do more to help Sam? We need to keep looking for him, Garth?"

Getting his coat and keys for his car opening the door to let Cas out first, walking to his car he so wanted to go over there and tell Dean off so bad. Thinking twice about it he decided that Sam was more important, getting into his vehicle with Cas they pulled out of the parking lot. Driving towards town Garth turned off the main street, seeing the confused look from the Angel he told him a plan.

"I saw some old abandon houses down the back street from the main road, wanted to check them out as I drove by them earlier. Didn't have back up to go in unprotected and not having someone backing me up, so I waited for you to come back so now we can go check them out."

Seeing Cas nodding his head yes to his plan Garth drove back to the houses he saw, pulling up to the first house he park his car on the street. Getting out they both walked to the side walk before going up to the building, looking at it closely now he could see that it was about to cave in. The roof of the building half of it fell in on itself, while the other half just barely holding up by the beams. The windows were all busted out glass all over the ground, the steps that lead to the porch were old and moldy. Some of them wouldn't be able to hold his or the Angel's weight alone with the porch, he could tell that no-one has been in this house for years. Shaking his head no they walked up to the second house that wasn't much better, at least this one had it's roof even though the windows were gone. The steps and porch have black mold all over there wasn't a clear place to step, the wood splinter where he tried to put his weight on the first step. Wondering if they should even try to get on the porch from the looks of it, he tried to step on the side only to have his foot go through the wood. Shaking his head no he told Cas to go to the right side of the house, he will go to the left side of the house to see if they could get in.

As Cas rounded the back part of the house he heard a crashing noise, coming from the side that Garth was checking on. Rushing over to see if anything to the young hunter he saw him standing there, breathing a sigh of relief he walked up to him to see what had happen.

"Garth, are you okay, what happen?"

"I tried to open the side door to see if we can get in, when I turned the knob the whole door came off. Next thing I saw was the whole doorframe falling my way, I jump to the side right before it hit me. I don't think it's safe to go into any of these houses, let's go back to the motel and look over the map tomorrow is another day."

"Tomorrow is another day that Sam is missing and being hurt by someone, I know you are right it's to hard to leave knowing my friend is missing."

"I know Amigo, I know what you mean."

Going back to the car Garth got a feeling that someone was watching them, glancing around he didn't see anyone. Taking a gander at Cas he tell that he felt the same way, that eyes were watching their ever step. Getting into the car pulling away from the houses he headed down the back roads, if they were being followed they didn't want them to know where they were at. Turning onto the main street of town the young hunter took the long way back, this way if anyone was following him they would know.

Another week has gone by with them not finding where Sam was, Cas was becoming really concern for his friends well being. Every turn they took they always came up empty handed with their search, they even drove through the neighborhoods to see if they could the hid out. What ever they tried to do to find Sam left them with no clues, even finding a few Vampires lead then to dead ends since none of them were talking. They were both sitting at the table going over some more areas to look the next day, they both came back to the motel in the late afternoon early evening to regroup. As they were going over their plans they heard Dean talking to someone, ignoring the man going back to their work until they heard him yell Sam's name. Thinking he was yelling at someone on the phone who was asking about him, they turned back to their work until Cas heard Dean calling for him. Sighing with annoyance at his so call friend, he walked over to the door opening it he was about to tell him what he thought.

"Dean why do you think I have to come at your beckon cal-Garth I need your help out here now."

Cas froze at the sight he saw before him seeing Sam between two hunters wasn't what shock him, seeing the condition he was in caught him off guard for just a second. Calling for the younger hunter Cas disappeared from the doorway, reappearing behind the two hunters who had Sam between them. Waiting for them to turned around he caught sight of Sam's back it angered him to see the whip marks, hearing Dean telling the two hunter to turned around is when he laid his fingers on their heads. Watching them dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes before turning his attention to Sam, seeing him barely standing on his own he watch the older brother hold him up. Seeing the concern look in Dean's eyes he wasn't sure if it was real, yes he has seen it many times but this one time he didn't buy it.

Watching, as Dean was about to take Sam into the motel room he heard movement from the door, glancing over he saw Benny standing there with a smirk on his face. Hearing Dean talking to him about what happen between him and Sam, two things happen so fast he didn't have time to react to Sam's actions. Once Sam started to back away once when he saw Benny standing before him, two he couldn't keep standing on his own do to the abuse done to his body. Before Dean or Cas could catch him Sam fall hard the screams that came shook the Angel, he never heard a scream like that coming from his friend. What spurred Cas into action was seeing Dean bending over to comfort the younger brother, grabbing the older sibling he ignored his protest by shoving him into the Impala. Turning to Garth who was already at Sam's side checking him over, he stepped in the way of Dean once again from getting to his brother.

Seeing the anger in his friend eyes didn't make him flinch or move out of the way, standing his ground to the man there's no way he was getting near Sam. No matter how much begging or concerned talk he did, the Angel was not going to move, he needed to tell the older brother a thing or two before he takes Sam away.

"Dean, if I heard Sam right you told him you wish he was never born, how could you say that to him just like saying he's not your brother. This is what you wanted Sam not being around anymore you already have a new brother, why are you so concern about Sam now, please tell me."

Hearing Dean pleading to Sam to stay with him he could tell that the young man was fading fast, knowing what he had to do he didn't waste any time moving Dean out of the way. Standing tall to the older hunter he didn't back down to the anger, he told him what he was going to do and not to follow.

"Dean, this is what you wanted: Sam being gone, I can't heal him I don't have enough power for that. Move out of the way I'm taking Sam some place safe away from you, Garth is coming with me don't follow us."

With that Cas place two fingers on Garth and Sam's forehead without saying another word to Dean, knowing how piss the older brother will be didn't concern him at all only his friends health was more important.

Garth wasn't sure what happen, one moment they were at the motel, the next they are outside an ER. Looking around he didn't recognize the place they were at, he's never seen this building before in his life. Knowing it was some kind of hospital that Cas took them to, in what city or state he didn't know.

Glancing around the area he saw they were off to the side of the building, so when the arrived no-one saw them just appearing there. He watch as Cas place his hand on Sam's head closing his eyes for just a second, when he lifted his hand he saw the young man's chest rising up and down. He sigh a breath of relief that his friend was still alive, scared that he's was in such bad shape that he might not make it. Watching as Cas walked around the building only to come back with a gurney, picking Sam up he placed him carefully and gently on the bed. Rolling him to the door he walked into the building with Garth next to him, stepping up to the nurses station he asked her to call Doctor Jackson down here.

~~~SPN~~~

After finishing his rounds, Jackson walked back to the nurses station, handing them folders of the patients he just visited to file them. Seeing they were doing as he asked of them he headed for his office, he needed some down time after a busy day with surgeries, checking on his patients. Now he just wanted to go sit down maybe have some lunch before the next shift, knowing how it could be at the hospital which was different then the clinic.

He missed being at the clinic that was less stressful then being here at his new place, he was asked by a good friend to move from King Hill to Boise. King Hill was a quiet town that looked over the mountain ranges, compare to Boise that don't have much of a view too see the mountains. The only kind of a mountain he's sees are the foothills, compare to the mountain peeks he saw in King Hill and all the open space. He always up for the challenge that is why he took it to see how it is, he's been here now for seven years so there's something he likes about it.

Sitting at his desk he happen to look at a photo of him, his brother Jefferson, Dean and Sam Winchester, the picture was taken at Pastor Jim Murphy cabin by Saw Tooth National Park. He and his brother came over to see how young Sam was doing; he was at his clinic for almost two weeks recovering from his injuries. He took a fondness to Dean especially to Sam he saw a lot of himself in the youngest, being a younger brother himself he could relate to the young boy. Thinking back brought a lot of good memories back to him, spending all the extra time with his own older brother was great. He misses his brother who he lost while he was helping some hunters, they were on a hunt for a werewolves when they were injured by two of the pack. Jeff went with a few other friends to help the hunters who were hurt, while there half the pack attack killing his brother before the others could kill them. When he went to identified the body of his older sibling at the morgue, he threw up what he ate by what he saw what was left of him. He gave his brother a hunter's funeral with Jim Murphy, Bobby Singer, Joe and his cousins, Josh and Caleb. Now all of his friends are gone for one reason or another, he always wonders what happen to the Winchester Brothers after what he heard about their dad.

Lost in his thoughts he flinch when his phone went off that he kept on his desk, wondering who it was since a lot of people don't have his personal number. Opening his phone his eyes went wide on the name he saw on the screen, hitting the call button putting his phone to his ear he was surprise to hear someone else voice.

"Hey Sam, long time-who is this and how did you get Sam's phone."

Jackson was shock to hear a deep voice on the other end.

"Hello Jackson, my name is Castiel. I'm a friend of Sam's."

"How do I know you are a friend of Sam, how did you get your hands on his phone?"

"I understand your confusion on why I have his phone, I am a friend of Sam Winchester a good friend of his. There is a reason on why I am calling you from his phone; I saw your name on his list of friends. I tried all the others only got a message stating phone has been disconnected, your number was the only one I got that answered me."

"I still don't know who you are in relations to Sam, where's his brother Dean so I may talked to him?"

"At the moment Dean and I are not talking to each other even though we are friends, his brother Sam is in trouble I'm going to need your help."

"If Sam is in trouble they why are you calling me and not Dean, how do I know it's not you that got my friend in trouble. I need to talk to Dean first before I say anything else to you, can you go find-how did you get here so fast."

Jackson was talking with Castiel on the phone one moment, the next he jump when he appeared in his office.

"Jackson, I am a friend of Sam Winchester my name is Castiel I'm an Angel of the Lord, why do you look at me like that don't you believe in Angels."

"H-how do I know you are not a Demon who wants info on the Winchesters, I need to see proof before I say a word."

"You know about Demons and they are real, Angels are real to I am one of them. I will show you that I am who I say I am."

Hearing what sounded like thunder he stared at the man before him who was engulf in a white light, next thing he saw was black wings coming from the back of the man in front of him. Watching as the black wings unfolded the spreading wide, before they looked like Eagle wings ready to land is when he believe the man. Watching as the wings folded behind the man in front of him is when he got his voice back, clearing his throat so he could speak he needed to know about Sam.

"Okay you are an Angel and not a Demon still don't make me trust you, what is this about Sam missing, why isn't Dean finding his brother."

"A lot of things have change over the years since you last seen them, they are not as close as they used to be their bond is breaking. Now Sam is missing for a few weeks haven't been able to find him, when I do find my friend I would need a Doctor who can help him."

"Since you already know who Sam is and know about hunting, you won't be asking questions if I bring him here. I got a feeling that he won't be in the best of shape when I get him back, can you help me get Sam better when I bring him here."

"I can't believe that Dean and Sam are not close as they were years ago, yeah I can help Sam bring him here when you find him. I don't want the details right now since you won't know his condition, when you do find him call me when you get here. I will come down and get Sam myself then we can talk, I will let the nurses know at the front desk to let you come threw. Call me first so I can let them know that you are waiting for me, this way you won't have to wait in the room."

"I will let you know when I find my friend Sam, will bring him here as fast as I can. Thank you for trusting in me when it comes to Sam, he's been through enough the last few years he needs someone he can trust."

With that the Angel disappeared as fast as he came in his office, leaving Jackson confused and worried about Sam.

~~~SPN~~~

As Castiel went to get the gurney for Sam he called Jackson to let him know he's here, going back to Garth he pick up his friend gently and carefully laying him down. Covering him with a sheet he pushed the gurney to the ER doors as fast as he could, walking up to the station he asked the nurse to call for Doctor Jackson.

"Could you please call Doctor Jackson down here he's expecting us, told me that he would let you know we are coming."

"Okay what is your name sir so I can let him know." Getting the information she needed, she called for the Doctor. "Doctor Jackson a Castiel is here to see you, okay I will let him know. The Doctor is on his way sir."

Nodding his head Cas pushed the gurney to one side to keep it out of the way, keeping a close eye on Sam making sure he's still breathing. Looking over at Garth he could tell the man was really worried about his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder giving it a light squeeze giving him some comfort. Hearing his name being called Cas looked up to see Jackson walking through the doors, heading to the bed he glance Sam over motioning Cas to come with him as he pushed the bed through the doors.

Walking down the hall Jackson rolled the bed into room 10 he pick the last one, this way they'll have privacy as he looked Sam over. Lowering the sheet from his patient chest it was deja vu all over again for him, he didn't see the adult Sam in front of him he saw the teen Sam. Shaking his head he needed to keep his focus on what he needs to do, starting with his head he check to make sure there's no injuries. Going to his shoulders he saw that his left shoulder has been dislocated, seeing the bruise to the left collarbone gave him some concerns. Could mean a broken or fractured bone which would need to be X-ray, his right shoulder there was some bruising there do to some kind of object. Moving down to his chest he couldn't stop the gasp that came, his chest, abdomen and arms were full of bruises, burns and cuts. Some of the bruises were older then others as were the burns, some of the cuts were deeper then others, some of them were infected. Checking his right arm he notice a lump between the elbow and wrist, carefully he moved his fingers over feeling a piece of bone out of place. Keeping that in memory along with the others he moved to his left arm, checking carefully he couldn't feel any broken bones. Stopping he got a clip board started to write down what he has found so far, shaking his head at the growing list of injuries. Taking the sheet off all the way seeing he still have his jeans on, seeing how tattered there were he cut the rest off so he could check his legs.

As he pulled off his jeans he couldn't believe what he was looking at, there were bruises, cuts, bite marks, burns all over both his legs. What concerned him the most was his left kneecap that was swollen, the bruise was deep purple, red, and blue in the center, around the edges there was green and yellow coloring. Knowing what cause that bad of bruising his knee had to be dislocated many times, writing down everything he came across he turned to Cas and Garth. He had to know what happen to Sam before he does anything else, the color of the bruises around his stomach, live and kidneys would mean internal bleeding.

"I need to know before I do anything else with Sam, do you know what exactly happen to Sam."

"The only thing we know is that he was taken by hunters, who tortured him for four weeks." Garth spoke up.

"If he was kidnapped then you wouldn't know what they did to him, yes I see by the damage that's been done on the outside. I'm worried about what they did to cause this really black bruises, these are right where his kidneys and liver is. He might have some internal bleeding by one of those two organs, won't know until I do some X-rays done on him. Going to call down now and tell them it's an emergency that I get him in ASAP; after I get those done then I will start with cleaning his wounds. I need your help to move him to his right side carefully, need to check his back to see what kind of damage is done there."

With Castiel help Jackson got Sam move just enough so he could see what his back looks like, shaking his head at the whelps, bruises, cuts and burns that scattered his back. Carefully as they could they laid Sam back on his back, going to the phone he called down to the X-ray room asking for an opening now. Hearing there was one in ten minutes he grabbed it for Sam telling them he'll be right down, looking over at the two men he told them that he had to get going. Leaving them in the room he rolled Sam out going to the X-ray room, he didn't let anyone stop him even one of the orderlies help him.

Standing in the room as Jackson took Sam out to get his X-rays done, Cas turned to Garth they needed to get the car and their things here. Looking out in the hall to see if anyone was around the Angel turned to Garth, placing two fingers on his head he took them back to the motel. Before he left the younger hunter there he notice the Impala gone, glad that Dean wasn't there to hear what he had to say.

"Garth, I need to get back before the Doctor or nurse comes back to the room, the hospital were Sam is at is in Boise Idaho it's called General Memorial. Get your things and meet me there as soon as you can, make sure Dean doesn't follow you or the other hunters or Benny. Be careful driving back by yourself get there as fast as you can, take this it will keep Demons and other Angels from not following you."

Seeing Garth running back into the room Cas stayed long enough until he was ready, seeing that the hunter only had one duffel he went back inside. Not seeing Sam's he check Dean's room seeing it empty of the older brother's belongings, knowing that Dean took his and Sam's things with him as he left. Closing both the doors he waited long enough for Garth to leave the parking lot, before he himself spirited back to the hospital room to wait for news on Sam.

~~~SPN~~~

As Dean drove from the motel room he wasn't sure in what direction he should go, knowing that Cas wouldn't take Sam to any local hospitals in the area. So that means he had to leave the state but where to go from here, driving out of the state of Louisiana was his best option at this point in time. As he drove down the highway heading towards Texas he couldn't stop the anger he was feeling, he was anger at himself, Cas, Benny and Garth for what happen to Sam. He didn't know whom he wanted to hit first, since he can't hit himself at the moment since he's driving his Baby. He wanted to hit Cas for keeping him from Sam, Garth for taking HIS place, Benny for lying to him, he'll have to wait until he meets one of them. All the anger he once had towards Sam has all disappeared from him, to be replaced by guilt for not looking for his little brother. How is he going to make it up to Sam for what he did and say to him, before being with the hunters for who knows how long, it was his words that broke Sam. Seeing the defeated broken look in Sam's eyes that had no emotions to them, scared Dean to his core knowing that Sam thinks he had no-one left. Telling his brother that he wish he was never been born, they weren't brothers anymore, should have left him on the side of the street. He was so anger by Sam's betrayal he couldn't see the damage he was doing, he wanted his brother to feel the hurt, emptiness, of being abandon by your loved one.

Even when Sam tried to talk to Dean in the motel room that night, he told Sam to shut the hell up he didn't want to hear it. He saw the desperation in Sam's eyes as he tried to talk to Dean, only to have his brother who he looked up to shoved it in his face. Even not caring to see the hurt, scared little boy laying on the floor as he walked out, all he wanted to do was to hurt Sam make him feel unloved, alone in the world. Now Dean is the one who is desperate to find his little brother to make it up to him, to let Sam know that his big brother who cares deeply for him loves him.

Being lost in his own thoughts he didn't notice he drove into the state of Texas, until he came into the city limits of Houston. Deciding it was the perfect time to stop for the day he pulled off the interstate, when he saw the sign saying lodging, food and gas finding the first motel he came to. Checking in he went over to the McDonalds to get a late dinner before going into the room, grabbing his meal and duffel he stepped into the room. Placing the take out bag on the table he place his bag on the bed, sitting down he open the bag to each his dinner of double cheese burger, fries and a coke. After he was done he walked over to his duffel to grab his nightclothes, that is when he realize he grab Sam's instead on his bag. Feeling a pang of sadness all the words came flooding back to him at what he said, shaking his head he walked back to the Impala grabbing his own. Getting his shower in dressing into his sleeping clothes, he walked back to his bed eying his brother's bag that sat on the extra bed. That would always be Sam's bed no matter where they stay, now he don't have his brother cause of his stupid actions. Grabbing the bag he looked inside to see Sam's jeans, shirts, socks, boxers, blinking away the tears he felt coming his hand brushed against something hard. Frowning he pulled out the book that was pushed to the side, he didn't remember seeing this in his bag the last time he went through it. Feeling a little ashamed he's invading his brother's privacy he open the cover, flipping the first page he saw it was a journal that Sam started. Wondering why he didn't see it before until he saw the date on the top right corner, it was dated two days after he was in Purgatory 5/20/12 was the date.

Leaning his back against the headboard with pillows behind him, he got comfortable as he started to read the first entry.

 _5/20/12_

 _Two days ago my brother disappeared alone with a friend of ours Castiel, Crowley told me that I was the only one left of my family. Since Dean and Cas disappeared and having no idea where they are, I left the building taking the Impala I drove as far away as possible. I didn't stop until I was a state away from before I stop, finding a hotel room I had to find away to get my brother back to me. Now two days of my brother missing I have found a Demon to question, I asked him if he knew where Dean and Castiel went to. He told me he didn't know anything about my brother I didn't believe him, took the Demon knife to him cut him up like a Christmas Turkey. I didn't care if I torture the bastard to get the answers I needed, when he wouldn't tell me what I needed stabbed him in the heart. Took him out back salt and burned his worthless ass, went out to find another Demon to torture for information before killing her._

 _As the time went on I was getting really good at carving up the Demons to get the info I needed, when I didn't get the answers I was seeking I killed them. I didn't care I was killing two or three Demons a day, I needed to find my brother and bring him back to me. Cause without Dean by my side I'm not as strong as he thinks I am, I miss having my bro next to me giving me shit like he always did. The last Demon I tortured I kind of lost myself while I carved him up, I became a monster that I never thought I would become. Being on Demon Blood, not having my soul I didn't care what I did to them, I like how it felt since I didn't really care. Not being myself I knew I couldn't loose myself like that, it's one thing Dean wouldn't want me to do. After salting and burning her body no other Demon would come near me, come to find out Crowley told his Demons to stay away from me. So I got into the car feeling worthless as a brother, knowing I let Dean down like I always do couldn't do anything right. As I drove down the street I thought of one thing I could do for Dean, it might be the selfish way of ending it all. At least I didn't have to live with myself that I failed Dean once again, couldn't do anything right to get him back to me. I knew he would be piss at me for what I'm about to do, mostly for wrenching Baby he'll be piss more about. Finding myself on a windy unnamed road in what state I wasn't sure of, I pushed the peddle down hard speeding to the dangerous curved ahead of me. When out of the corner of my eye I saw something blue and white run out in the street, slamming on the breaks turning the wheel to avoid of hitting the animal, is when I heard a sickening thud._

 _I got out of the car ran to where the dog was lying on it's side, I wanted to cry to see the damage I did to the poor thing. Here I was again ruining another life cause I couldn't do anything right, hearing the whimpers coming from the poor fellow I knew I had to get help. Carefully I wrapped my coat around the body, gently lifting him in my arms, I headed to the nearest vet. Walking in I told them what happen that the dog ran out in front of me, he wasn't my dog so I'm just dropping him off. The vet there said that I was being selfish for leaving him there, I couldn't take care of the animal she didn't want to hear it. Finally I told her that I will be the one to take care of the dog, she told me that I am her hero for doing so. I don't feel like a hero more like a screw up who couldn't do anything right, couldn't get my brother back, couldn't take my own life, now I have a dog to think of. How can my life get any worse then it's already has been, the only thing I want right now is my big brother, telling me it's okay, he's here for me, giving me the comfort like he always does._

 _Boy, I miss that right now._

After reading the first entry Dean felt tears running down his cheeks, when he wipe them away he was surprise to see how wet his face was. Come to find out that Sam was trying to find him in ways he wouldn't do, imagine his little brother carving up Demons like that made him shiver. Then coming to find out how suicidal his little brother was before hitting the dog, he's glad now that Sam did hit the dog. It saved his little brother from killing himself and ruining baby, then meeting Amelia who talked him into keeping the dog. How could Sam think that he would be piss that he crashed Baby, yes he would be upset that she's damage, he'll be heart broken for loosing his brother. Once when he finds Sam they will have a talk, a long talk about everything that has happen.

Looking at the clock he saw that it's was already 12 midnight, he needed to get some sleep so he can look for his brother. There's a few people he can call to see if they know anything about Sam, there's some hunters who keeps their eyes and ears opening. Putting the book on the night stand he turned off the light, before he fell asleep he whisper a promise to himself once he found Sam.

"I promise Sammy, once when I get you back we are talking, taking some time off just the two of us."

With that in mind Dean turned towards the empty bed with a heavy heart, he wants his brother back with him again. Closing his eyes he fell into restless sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Rolling the gurney into the elevator, Jackson hit the four buttons to take him to X-rays, when the door open he rushed through the doors, down the hallway until he came to the room he needed. Seeing the staff getting ready for Sam's arrival the Doctor pushed the bed into place, he let the men in the room position the gurney into place. As he himself got the machine in the places he needed them to be, starting with his left shoulder and collar bone he place the device into place. Following the men into another room with the door closed, waiting for them to take the first set of prints he waited impatiently. Seeing the red light go on he knew the prints were taken of his shoulder, waiting for the green light so he can move it to his collar bone. Stepping from behind the door he move the device to his left collar bone, waiting for the prints so he can move to his left hand, moving down to his left side. He took several prints of his left and right side of his abdomen; yes the bruises were on his left he didn't want to take the chance. With all the bruising he had covering his whole front of his body from shoulders to waist, with the extent of the injuries he wanted to be on the safe side of his friend's well being. After he was done with all the prints he was going to need, he handed them to the nurse to get them ready to look over.

As he waited for the nurses returned he turned to the orderly in the room, he was going to need the ultra sound to check on his kidneys and liver. Watching as he did as he was told he turned back to his patient lying on the bed, he couldn't get the picture out of his mind of a fifteen year old Sam. Thinking back then he really missed his brother Jeff who was there to help him, now he's on his own with the youngest Winchester life in his hands. What he couldn't figure out was why Dean wasn't with his friend; yes he did say that the brother's are at odds with each other at the moment. He couldn't imagine Dean not caring for his younger brother, especially with him being this critical with his injuries. Hearing movement to his right he looked over his shoulder to see the orderly coming back, as the set up the machine it when the nurse came back with the prints in hand. Turning the lamps on he place the prints in the slots, checking them carefully not wanting to miss a thing on what was going on. As he looked he couldn't stop shaking his head at what he saw before him, his shoulder was dislocated, collar bone has a fracture, seven ribs broken, his right lung was puncture, white mass by his kidneys. Who ever had Sam for those weeks used him as a human punching bag by all the damage that's been done, what is really concerning him is the bump he notice while he check him over, the area where the white mass is showing now on X-ray by his liver and kidney. Knowing that an ultra sound would tell him what's really going on, looks like he's going to have surgery which is really concerning him. He's not sure if Sam would handle going through an operation in his state, he's hoping that he could hold off for just a little while.

Walking back to the bed he pulled the cart closer to the bed so he could check the area, getting it turned on he put gel on Sam's left side were the white mass is. Getting everything ready he put the camera over the bruise gently as possible he moved it around, he had to get every part of the area looked over so he knows what's he's dealing with. As he watch the screen he could tell the white mass has gotten larger then before, a sure indication that he does have a bleeder and a bad one. Which means he had to get Sam into surgery now before he bleeds to death, letting the orderly know what he needed right now he called down to the OR.

"Matt, I need to get Sam on some fluids right now and a pint of blood, I need them like right now along with an oxygen mask. I know I should have done this in the room before we came down, I had to get him here fast so I know what was going on."

"This man is going to need surgery so I need to call down to see if there's an opening, if not I would have to tell them it's life or death for him. Let's hope there is an opening for him he's not going to make it, have to get the tear sewed up before he looses any more blood."

Walking to the phone, Jackson called down to the O.R to see if there was an opening, founding out there wasn't one available he told them he needed one now.

"Janice, I'm calling to see if there's an opening for an emergency surgery-no I need an opening now-that's not going to work Janice I need one now-I don't care what you have to do get me an opening."

"Tell Doctor Lance to move his back an hour so I can get Sam in, get him on the phone I don't have time to argue."

"Jackson, what's going on?"

"Lance, I need an opening for my patient ASAP, I know you have a surgery for a broken leg. The patient I have now needs emergency surgery, he has a bleeder with his liver or maybe kidneys; won't know until I open him. Can you please pushed back your surgery so I can get this young man in, I won't be asking if it wasn't life or death my friend."

"Yeah I can hold off long enough for yours, my friend, I will even help you find the bleeder. This way with both of us working together, we can find it and get it repaired faster then just one."

"Thank you Lance, I will be there under five minutes I'm leaving the X-ray room now, will be there soon I'll see you then."

Hanging up the phone Jackson got Sam hook up on an IV and blood transfusion, with the orderly help the Doctor got Sam to the ER in less time then what he said. Pushing through the doors he saw Lance waiting for him, leaving Sam with him while he go scrub and change into his scrubs. Hurrying back he saw that Sam was already prep, finding what his blood pressure is he got worried he had to find the bleeder now.

"Alright let's go in and find the bleeder, Lance, so we can get-damn he's going in cardiac arrest, Kim I need you to administer five milligram of Norepinehphrine IV stat. We need to get his blood pressure up before we lose him, come on Sam don't do this you need to fight young man."

"Jackson, the drug is not working his flat lining we need the paddles now.

Lance reach to turn the machine on before grabbing the paddles, putting some gel on he told everyone to clear as he place them on Sam's chest for an electrical shock. When he did the first time he looks at the reading, seeing no change he place the paddles back on giving another shock to Sam. Waiting with baited breaths Jackson almost shouted out when he heard a heart beat, letting Lance know to continue with the surgery so they can fix the bleeder. As he work on saving Sam's life Jackson had a feeling there was something else that saved Sam today, pushing it out of his mind he focus on getting the tear fix.

~~~SPN~~~

Castiel was pacing the floor waiting for Jackson to returned with news about Sam, feeling his phone going off he wonder who would be calling him. He hopes it wasn't Dean calling him about information on Sam, he didn't really want to talk to him at the moment. Opening it he saw that it was Garth calling him, becoming worried that something happen he answered the call.

"Garth, is there something wrong."

"No Amigo there's nothing wrong sorry for worrying you, wanted to let you know that I turned off the GPS."

"What do you mean you turned off the GPS?"

"I turned it off so Dean can't follow us to where Sam is, mine, yours and Sam's are turned off. So if Dean tries to track us he won't be able to find anyone of us, he might call asking-well demanding on where Sam is. I haven't heard from him yet but I have a feeling he will be calling."

"I see what you are talking about Garth, that is good you did that, was wondering how we are going to keep Dean off our trail."

"It's been cover my friend, any news about Sam."

"No, I haven't heard a word about Sam yet since I got back, getting worried that something has gone wrong. I can feel his dis-stress as we speak can't locate him at the moment, with his ribs broken I can feel his presents."

"I bet that Jackson took him into emergency surgery with the shape he's in, ask one of the nurses if they knew where Sam is. I have to go now not sure if I'm being followed or not, will see you when I get there in a few days."

"You be careful, Garth don't do something stupid like getting yourself killed."

Hanging up with the young hunter Cas walked up to the nurses' station, he needed to know about Sam and why it's taken so long. As he approach he motion to one of the ladies behind the desk to him, looking around he had to make sure no one heard him.

"Would you know where Doctor Jackson is?"

"Last I heard he had to take your friend to surgery, that is all I know I'm sorry sir."

"Surgery! Why did he have to take Sam there?"

"I'm not sure sir I don't have that information, you would have to wait until he comes back to the room."

Nodding his understanding Cas walked back towards the room, he had to find out where the operating rooms are. If Sam needed surgery he's in bad shape then he expected he would be, stopping one of the orderlies he asked where the OR is. Getting the info he needed he walked back to the room, glancing around the corner he made sure no one was coming before he closed the door. Feeling Sam's presents he spirited himself to the place where he's at, hiding himself from everyone he saw them fighting to keep Sam alive. Walking over he place his hand on top of Sam's head, closing his eyes he said a small prayer. Feeling himself getting weak as he gave Sam some of his power, just enough to get him through the surgery. Knowing he couldn't keep doing this he had to this one time, he can't loose his friend no matter what the cost is.

~~~SPN~~~

Waking from a sleep less night Dean rub the grim from his eyes as he blink to clear his vision, sitting up in bed he looked over to his left expecting to see Sam still sleeping. Seeing an empty bed he felt a sharp pain in his heart, he has to find his brother so he can make it up to him. Swinging his feet off the bed onto the floor, he lifted himself off the bed to do a nature call and shower. Taking care of business he hop in the shower, turning the water on hot he stood under the spraying water. Feeling all his tense muscles loosing he stood for a minute longer, feeling the water go lukewarm is when he grabbed the soap. After his shower he brushed his teeth, getting his clothes back on, he went to hunt for breakfast. Coming back to the motel room fifteen minutes later he sat at the table by the door, as he ate his meal he glance over at Sam's journal laying on the empty bed. Even though he wanted to get going he didn't know where to look for his brother, his thoughts kept going back to what Sam said on what he read. Wondering what else he had to say in his book the thoughts of leaving left him, after his meal was done he the empty container away. Walking to the bed with coffee in hand he picked up the book before sitting on his bed, getting himself comfortable he open the cover glancing through the pages. Some of what Sam wrote were boring things on what he did with Amelia, like going to parks, dinner, having her father over. He skip through all of that until he came to where they celebrate Christmas with her family, the holiday was never a big thing for the brothers so he had to know how it was for Sam and his girlfriend.

 _December 25, 2012_

 _Amelia asked if I wanted to go to her father's house for Christmas dinner, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea since her dad and I didn't get along. She told me that her dad did like me he has a hard way of showing it, being the protective father that he was he wanted what was best for her. She has been talking about going over there now for a week, she even told her dad that I was coming over for the dinner. She didn't sound to happy on what he was saying over the phone, I felt bad to cause so much trouble within the family. I guess that is all I am is trouble when it comes to family, since I was only a trouble with my dad and brother. Always picking fights with them over school, hunts, games and going to a movie, now it seems like I'm causing trouble with Amelia's family. After she got off the phone she seem really upset, I told her to go and spend time with her family I will stay here. She said no that I was coming no matter what her dad has to say, even said that he does like me just give him time to show it._

 _Arriving at her dad's house early afternoon I couldn't shake this feeling I was having, wasn't sure where it was coming from being here or something else. As I got out of the car I notice all the Christmas lights around the house, in the bushes and the decoration he had in the yard. I couldn't help but smile at what I saw before me, this is what I always wanted when I was younger that I never could have. Walking next to her as he approach the door she gave me a light squeeze, telling me it's okay and not to worry. Had to blink back the tears that threaten to come when I thought of my brother, he always done that to calm my fears after a night terror or a bad hunt. Stepping inside I put a smile on my face, to mask the emptiness I was feeling inside of me. As we entered the house the first thing I saw was the Christmas tree all lit up, presents under the tree, snacks spread on the table. Amelia went to place our presents with the others as I hung our coats up, walking up next to her I can see how happy she is. Giving her a hug and a kiss we walked into the kitchen were her dad and mom were, getting all the fixings of dinner ready while the ham cooked. I help them get all the food on the table along with the drinks, we all sat down for a home cook holiday meal with the whole family. After wards I help clean the table off putting the dishes in the dishwasher, while the ladies put the leftovers away her dad and I sat at the table._

 _We talked about his daughter and my feelings for her are real, he looked at me like I was hiding something from him and Amelia. He asked if I had another girlfriend in the wing I told him no, he knew there was something I was hiding I just couldn't talk about it. Finally I told him that I needed some air so I walked out on the back porch, looking over the snow-covered yard I could see Dean and I playing in the snow. Feeling something cold on my face thinking it was snow I wipe it away, only to realize I was crying it was tears that I felt. Hearing the door open I wipe them away the best I could, feeling a presents next to me I turned to see her dad standing next to me. He could tell that I was upset about something from my past, I knew he wanted me to talk about it maybe it would help him like me more. Clearing my throat to get rid of the lump that's in it, I explain to him why I was upset._

 _"I don't have a girlfriend in the wings sir, I love your daughter very much. I lost my brother seven months ago he's was my only family member, when he died I lost a big part of myself there's a whole that can't be filled. He always wanted to make Christmas a big thing for me growing up, he did everything in his power to make it a good one. Our dinners were never big and fancy that didn't matter, having each other is what matter the most to him. We have had Christmas's that we weren't together for one reason or another, but this year I don't have him at all. That is why I'm more quiet then I normally am, I miss my brother wish he was here."_

 _Wasn't sure how he would take that with me being so honest and broken, what surprise me is when he hug me tight. Didn't know what to do for a second until I hug him back, still didn't take the emptiness I was feeling away. After we went inside to have desert I almost sob when I saw Dean's favorite pie, he loves Pecan Pie got it every time we went out to eat. Never bought any since I was allergic to nuts, which made me, feel bad, so I would go out and buy him one so he can have it._

 _After we got back home I walked Riot down the street lost in thought, my heartache so bad for not having Dean here right now. He would have love the Christmas dinner would have had seconds, I could see the look on his face when he took the first bit. Sitting down on the bench by the park I looked around, seeing no one I let the tears flow I cried until I didn't have any more tears left._

Placing the book on his lap Dean felt a lump in his throat on what he read, telling Amelia's father on what happen had to be hard for his little brother. Sam normally don't show his feeling to other people like that, he always kept them hidden lock away inside of him. Dean knew how Sam was feeling even though he tried to hide them, he knew everything about his little brother's moods. Reading on how he sat there and cried his heart out for the lost of his brother, broke something in Dean that crushed his heart to dust. Picking up the book he look over some more pages until he stop when he saw the date, taking a shaky breath he wasn't sure if he wanted to read this or not. The date on top of the page was January 27th his birthday.

 _January 27, 2013_

 _Today would have been my big brother's 34rd birthday and here I'm sitting by a lake, with a whiskey bottle next to me got his favorite kind. Last year we celebrate at a bar playing pool together enjoying ourselves, there was some tension between us that didn't stop us for having fun. With everything that was going on back then, me going insane when Cas took the wall down, Castiel betraying us working with Crowley. The leviathans that entered our world through our Angel friend, then escaping through the water systems, to making us human steaks to killing Bobby. We had a lot on our plates with Dean trying to find help for me, when I ended up in an mental asylum when Lucifer was an every day presents. He did find someone to help, which in turn was Castiel who had no memory, who is now still in the same place I was in for a while. We needed some down time so we went to a bar and played pool, we had a fun time laughing and bantering each other like old times._

 _So now here I am sitting here on the bench with a half a bottle of my brother's favorite whiskey, maybe if I'm lucky enough will be to drunk to care if I crash the car. This way taking myself out of this world that seems to be swallowing me up, only one thing stopping me is Amelia can't do that to her. She is the only thing that kept going these days; even on my bad ones that I feel like eating a bullet she brings me back. Three days ago I got excited about this new job I applies for at a law firm, wanted to share the news so I called Dean's number out of habit. Just as I was about to hit his number is when he all came back to me, that my big brother wasn't here to help celebrate the news. I didn't tell Amelia about it since I wasn't sure I would get the job, so I called them back telling them I couldn't take the job. Now here it's his birthday wishing that he was here sitting next to me, boy do I miss my big brother right now._

 _Some people might think I'm being childish, weak or evening being a big baby about this; I don't care what they think they don't know how much of a failure I see myself as. None of them would understand our brotherhood how we had each other backs, our bond was stronger then any siblings were. I better get going or Amelia would start to look for me, finding me with the now empty whiskey bottle._

 _Happy Birthday Dean: God do I miss you._

Feeling his heart breaking as what he just read Sam's own words saying he's a failure, punch Dean in the gut he never saw his sibling as a failure. Taking a deep breath he flip through some more pages of his book, it was all about the same as the stuff he just read. Coming up to were they work with Garth on the hunt with the curse penny, were Dean threw all the wrong Sam has done to him in the past. Having Sam telling Dean that he had secrets himself when Benny was concern, if he couldn't move on from all the past mistakes he would move on. Dean could still see the hurt in Sam's eyes when he told him that, before they got into the Impala going to their next case.

There have been other cases they did together in a way if it was only Dean's way, Sam was getting tired of his brother bossiness when it came to a hunt. After they went to check out hunt that Benny told Dean about, saying that it was a nest of Vampires killing young girls in a small town of Kentucky. When they got to the town the killing were happening at, they did their digging separately Sam went to the morgue, while Dean talking with the victims family members. Arriving back at the motel later that day Sam told Dean it wasn't Vampires, by the bit and claw marks it was a werewolf that was doing the killing. The older brother didn't listen to what the younger was saying about the attacks, saying that Benny wouldn't lie about what was going on. When they arrived were the attacks happen the following night the moon was high in the sky, it was a full moon that was bright enough they could see the creatures. While scouting the area Sam heard rustling in the bushes to his right, as he turned to where he heard the noise a werewolf attack Dean from the left. The creature took both brother's by surprise it move so fast they didn't have time to react, before Sam knew what was happening the wolf had his brother pin to the ground. What saved Dean's throat from being torn out was Benny quick actions, he follow them to see if the Vamps were from his old clan that he has beef with. As Sam turned to help Dean the other wolf came charging at him, just as the creature was about to kill his prey he heard a gun firing. It happen so fast the younger brother didn't have time to move out of the way, the creature slammed him to the ground as it fell next to him dead. Catching his breath he turned to see Benny lifting Dean off the ground, seeing his older sibling walking his way he could tell he was piss. Being lifted off the ground in not so gentle way by his angry piss off big brother, before he had time to ask if he was okay the older man ripped into him.

"What the hell Sam why didn't you say it was werewolves?"

The younger man looked at his boiling mad brother stun at first, when he finally got his voice he snapped right back.

"Don't go blaming me Dean I told you it was werewolves not Vampires, you didn't believe telling me that Benny was right about the Vamps."

"So you are going to blame Benny for your own mistakes, that is just like you Sam putting the blame on someone else. If it wasn't for my brother I would be dead because you gave me false info, how am I suppose to trust you if you can't get the hunts right. I need someone who can watch my back since it can't be you, I'm asking Benny to be on the hunts with us I need someone I can trust."

That was a blow to Sam to hear Dean can't trust him anymore on hunts, from then on Benny, Dean and Castiel went on hunts while Sam stayed at the motels. Things just gotten worse for Sam with Dean coming back drunk after the hunts, saying how Benny was better then him, that Sam was a weak partner, he was only good enough to look for hunts. Thinking back now Dean didn't spend any time with Sam, when he wasn't hunting he was off with Benny going to bars, playing pool, doing things they used to do. Seeing the last entry it was when Sam tried to talk to Dean in the motel room, he wasn't sure if he wanted to read on what his brother was thinking. Needing to know he started to read with a heavy heart.

 _November 21, 2013_

 _I asked Castiel if he could leave so I can have a talk with my brother, he said that he would leave so we can be alone. After he left I tried to talk to him to let him know that I did look for him, he wouldn't let me get a word in on what I wanted to say. Finally I had to grab his arm to stop him from leaving so we can talk, I didn't even see the fist coming until I was laying flat on the floor. Looking up what I saw took my breath away, it was one look that I never thought I would ever see, it was hate he had towards me. We had our fights in the past even said words that hurt each other, but not once has he ever look at me with hate in his eyes._

 _He went through all my failures I ever did to him from the past, what really hurt is saying that he should have never made that deal. That was a stab in my heart to hear my brother wishing that I was dead, I told him that he didn't mean that to someone who he loves. In his hatred he told me that I ruined his life by simply being born, that really crushed me to hear my brother who I still love say that to me. Wishing that I were never to be born, that all his life was a lie, that he never love or cared about me. I was feeling empty for a lone time every since that day he disappeared, that year of him being gone from my life. Now I feel like I was suck up in a black hole that took my soul from me, I have no feelings or pain anymore just a numbness that won't go away. I just laid there after he slammed the door ending our brotherhood for good, didn't have the strength to get up for what felt like hours._

 _Now here I am thinking on why am I still hanging around here for, there's nothing keeping me here I don't have a family anymore. I should just leave find myself a place to live far away from Dean and his new brother, it's not like he will miss me or come looking for me why should he. He don't love me anymore doesn't want me around him, even said that I'm not his brother in so many words. The gun will be a better way to end all of this, just one bullet to the heart or head and it's over. It's not like he would make another deal since he wish he never made the first one, he won't find any kind of black magic to bring me back. Would be better if I go on a hunt by myself for a Wendigo or Werewolf, wouldn't even try to fight them just let them tear me apart so I can feel the pain. As I take my last breath the last thought going through my mind will be, it's what Dean wanted me being gone from his life._

 _He would be happy not to have a failure, weak, useless, no good brother around anymore, he would be free to do what he wanted not having me as a burden. I will miss Dean still love him as a brother, that's a laugh that I still do, I can do him a favor by taking me out of his life for good._

As Dean read the last entry of Sam's book he felt like a failure to his brother, how could he say those things to his little brother in angry. That was one of his faults always saying things in anger at Sam to make him hurt, he gets so mad at him that he will bring up the past to shoved it in his face. He knows he's hurting his brother and it feels good, at least for a little while until he calms down then he feels guilty for saying it. This time he couldn't control his anger or the hurt he was feeling that Sam abandon him, living a life that he always wanted not having him in it. He wanted to hurt his sibling as much as he was hurting, he didn't care what he said to him knowing that it would hurt like hell.

Now he wish he could take back all the words he said to him in anger, he knew that he can't do that cause the damage is done. Reading how Sam was feeling like after he told him about not making the deal, telling him that he ruined his life by simply being born. None of that is true he wants his brother in his life, he thrives on being a big brother taking care of his little brother. He let his anger get the better of him and hurt the one person he cares about the most, there is one thing that Dean could never do is hate his younger sibling. No matter how anger or hurt he gets from Sam's actions through the years, that was one word that never cross his mind when he thinks of his brother is hate.

"Aww Sammy, I could never hate you little brother no matter what happens between us."

With a whole new determination Dean had to find his brother, through hell or high waters he will be with his sibling. He needs to find out where Cas and Garth took Sam to, knowing it had to be a hospital but which one will it be. Grabbing his phone he look through his contact list seeing who he can call first, there's some names he didn't have the heart to take off just yet. As he scroll down he saw Jefferson younger brother Jackson on there still, wondering if he heard anything regarding his brother from any other hunters. Hitting the call button sighing in relief that it was ringing he waited for the man to answer, frowning when it went to voice mail instead he waited for the message before leaving his own. Hearing the beep he went into asking him anything about Sam, hoping that he will call him back with any kind of info.

~~~SPN~~~

As Jackson and Lance finished repairing the tear in his liver, the puncture lung from the broken rib, all the infected cuts they clean then sewed up. Jackson stayed a little longer with his friend while Lance had to get ready for his surgery, taking Sam to recovery himself he got him settle in the room. Telling the nurse to keep a close eye on his patient, taking one last look at the young man he headed back to the room. Upon entering he saw Castiel sitting in the chair close to the window as he was keeping watch, walking up to him he was going to let him know what happen.

After arriving back in the room Cas looked around making sure no-one saw him, moving to the chair by the window he kept watch. Making sure that no Human or Vampire was after Sam to finished him off, he would stop anyone from hurting his friend even Dean. Not waiting to long before Jackson stepped into the room, he could tell he had news about Sam hoping it was good news.

"Castiel, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner then this, I had to get Sam into surgery as soon as I could. He's in bad shape we almost lost him once on the table from blood lost, we got him back fix the tear in his liver, his puncture lung and clean and sewed his cuts. He's in recovery as we speak he'll be there for an hour, then I will be moving him to ICU so we can keep a close eye on him."

"I can't let you or Garth in ICU since you are not immediate family to him, I know you consider Sam as family as do I. Since I'm his Doctor I have to be clear on this with the two of you, if Dean shows up I can let him go in and be with Sam-I know what you are thinking he's his brother."

"Jackson, you can't tell Dean were Sam is at the moment he's not allowed here, if you tell him I will take my friend out of here."

"Castiel, you do know if you take Sam now he'll die before you reach the door, yes I know you can spirit yourself that could kill Sam. He's staying here under my care-I'm NOT! Going to lose my friend cause you and Dean are fighting."

Jackson could tell that the Angel was going to give him trouble about this, there no way in hell he's taking Sam from his care.

"Jackson, I do understand your strong attachment you have to Sam, that is why I brought him to you to help him. Right now he and Dean are not seeing eye-to-eye with each other, a lot of stuff has happened between them that cause this to Sam. I don't need him to be hurting my friend any more then he already did, at the moment they need some time away from each other."

"I don't believe that Dean would hurt his brother like that in any way, you said that some hunters got a hold of him. So how can you blame my friend for doing this to that young man."

Castiel looked Jackson in the eye seeing if he can intimidate the man in front of him, seeing him not backing down the Angel was impress with him. He could see he does have a strong attachment to Sam which he is thankful for, being so weak with his powers there's no way he could heal his friend fully. He wouldn't take Sam out of his care knowing that he would be safe, he will be staying here to keep watch to make sure no-one hurts him.

"No, Dean didn't hurt Sam physically the hunters and Vampire did that, he hurt Sam emotionally by his words. Like I said their bond is not like it used to be when you knew them, there's been a lot of stress between the brother's that is tearing them apart."

"When Dean saw his brother like this he acted like he was worried about him, I know that is a lie and it was for show. Until I know that Dean won't hurt him in any way, then and only then he can see my friend with you in the room with him."

"I can't keep this from Dean. If he calls me I would have to tell him the truth, I can't lie to him when it comes to his brother's health and well being. When he does call me I will have him meet me some place away from here, to see for myself on what you are saying is true."

Seeing that the Angel didn't like his answer he was not going to not tell Dean about Sam, as a brother himself he would want to know about Jefferson if he was hurt. Even fighting like they did sometimes they still cared about each other; even though his brother is gone he would know how Dean would be feeling. If Sam dies from his injuries and he knew where he was this whole time, he couldn't live with himself if he didn't tell the older brother.

Leaving the Angel in the room he walked back to his office to take a breather, he was really angry with him right now for what he's asking. No matter how tense the brother's are right now, or how angry, he still has a right to know where he is. Stepping into his office he walked behind his desk dropping into his chair with a heavy thud, looking over at the picture he couldn't believe they were not that close anymore. Hearing a beeping from his phone he saw that he got a message, opening up he saw Dean's name on the screen. Not sure if he wanted to hear the message after what he was told, still he was his friend no matter what so he listen to the message. What he heard sadden him to hear Dean voice so broken, he can tell that he need answers from him.

"Jackson, not sure if you remember me since it's been years, this is Dean Winchester I need your help to find my brother. I can't go into details in this message about what happen with Sam and I, some so call friends of mine took him away from me. Can you please call me back I need to know if you heard anything, I need to find my brother Jackson, it's important that I get to him. Please call me as soon as you get this."

Hearing the message end he knew he had to do the right thing, no matter on what the Angel told him. Dialing his number back he didn't have to wait to long before he answered.

"Dean, this is Jackson. I do have information on your brother."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Getting off the phone with Cas, Garth kept a close eye on the road; every so often he would look in the rear view mirror. For the last two miles he has seen a black SUV behind him, not knowing if the hunters or Vampires were following him. Looking to see what state he was in by the cities a sign he saw a sign entering Houston, knowing he was in Texas when he saw a sign stating he was driving into Houston. Not to take any chances he got off at the third exit to get off from the Highway, taking the off ramp he noticed the vehicle was still behind him. When he came to the stoplights he looks to his left then he's right, he needed to see which direction would help him. He made sure he was in the turning lane that goes in both directions, noticing that the city itself was to his left he turned in that direction. As he drove slowly down the road he looked to see where he could go, stopping at the next light he looked around the area to get his bearings. Seeing some big trucks in front of him he came up with an idea, now he had to wait for the light to go green.

As the traffic started to move he turned into the right lane to pass a few cars, when he approach the truck he saw there was enough room for him to get pass. Putting his blinker on to let the driver know he was moving over, he saw the truck was letting him in so he pulled in front of the truck. Seeing that there were four more trucks ahead of him he just had to get in front of them, or at least get in front of one of them that were in the right lane. Seeing that one of the trucks were turning in to the left turning lane, he had his chance he needed to get in front of another one. Looking through his mirror he saw that the first one was still behind him, now he needs to pass the other smaller truck to ditch the vehicle. Looking through his passenger side mirror he didn't see the black SUV in sight, now was his time to do this so he can turn without them seeing him. Luck must have been on his side as he saw a bigger truck pulled up to the one he passed, taking that as an escape goat he pulled in front of the vehicle to make the right turned he needed. Seeing the light turning red he knew this was perfect time to do this, putting his right blinker on he waited for the oncoming traffic before he could turned. Seeing a break in the flow of traffic he made his turned, driving down to the next light he made another right turned. Seeing some fancy Hotels up ahead he decided to stop off at one for the day, he did have some extra money on hand from his last hunt.

He help an elder man save his wife from a vengeful spirit that haunted their new home, not knowing what to do he call a friend who knew Garth. When the young hunter showed up the man wasn't sure if he could help, he knew how strong the spirit was since he throw a heavy chair at him. Doing his research before he came over to help the couple, he found out it was a wife who was murder by her husband. He was cheating on her in their own home when he was caught; they got into a big fight that ended up with her being thrown down the stairs. To cover up the murder of his wife he hide her remains in the wall of the basement, a week after her spirit went after him and his lover running them out of the house. He put the house up for sell without telling anyone about what happen, the elder couple move in six months later not knowing on what happen there. When Garth found the husband he came clean with him and his partner, telling him they were the FBI who was investigating her disappearance. When the hunter showed up at the house he knew were to go to find her, as he got closer to her resting spot her spirit attack the wife in anger. Working as fast as he could breaking the wall he pulled out her corpse, taking it out side he salt and burned the remains before she killed his wife. The husband was so great full he gave Garth four hundred dollars which he said that was to much, not hearing it he told the hunter to take it for saving her beloved wife.

Finding a Hotel to his liking he pulled into the parking lot he saw that it had a parking garage, pulling up to the gate he took one of the tags out to lift the gate up. Driving inside he went to the second level to find a parking space, making sure his car is lock he went into the Hotel to get his room. Getting a room on the fifth floor he took the elevator up, walking to his door out of habit he looked both ways before stepping inside. He was shock to see how fancy the room was since the ones he was in were shabby, placing his bag on the bed he grabbed his phone to call Castiel letting him know what had happen.

Scrolling down to the name he needed he waited until the third ring, hearing the monotone voice he could tell that something happen. Thinking the worse he had to ask the Angel if Sam had died.

 _"Garth, are you okay?"_

"Hey amigo, what's wrong? Did something happen to Sam, he isn't dead is he?"

 _"No Garth, Sam is not dead he's alive with my help, Jackson almost lost Sam on the table I gave him some of my grace."_

"Thank God he's still alive got scared when I heard your voice, you sound upset well if Angels do get upset. What got you all tense then I can hear it in your voice?"

Cas was quiet for a minute trying to figure out what he meant, when he figure it out he smile at his concern.

 _"Jackson won't let either of us see Sam when he's in ICU, but he will let Dean in once he arrives. I told him not to tell Dean where Sam is right now since he's been anger, he told me that if he does call he won't be able to keep it from our so call friend."_

"Does he know that it's his fault that Sam is in this condition by his anger?"

 _"I told not to call Dean on where his brother is right now, or to except his calls if he decides to call the doctor. He told me that he won't be able to keep this from the older brother, that he will talk with Dean about what happen."_

"That is not good Cas wish he wouldn't even talk with Dean right now, I'm at a Hotel in Houston for the night. I think I was being followed by someone in a black SUV so I turned off, lost them in the traffic so I'm going to stay here until morning."

Hearing what his friend just said got Cas concerned for his safety, feeling bad for putting him through this he told him he didn't have to come.

 _"Garth, you don't have to come if it's not safe to get here, you can go and do some hunts and be safe."_

"Cas I care about Sam to want to be there for him when he awakes, you are going to need help when he's release. I will be there in two three days top to help you, I need to be there for Sam Cas."

 _"Alright Garth, get here when you can just be safe please."_

Hanging up with his friend Garth took a deep breath to calm himself down, looking at the time he saw it was almost dinnertime. Feeling a little hungry he headed out the door to the dinning room of the Hotel, then come back to his room to watch TV for the rest of the night.

Early the next morning Garth took a different route back to the highway, he kept a close eye for the black SUV as he drove out of Houston.

~~~SPN~~~

Following the two-tone station wagon Tim kept telling Reggie he's following to close, when he saw Garth turning off he growl at his friend threw clench teeth. It angered him that Reggie wouldn't listen to what he was telling him to do; now the young hunter was onto them that's why he was pulling off. Keeping a close eye on the vehicle ahead of him he didn't want to loose it, the traffic started to slow down ahead of them. Stopping for the red light they were one car behind Garth's, which angered Reggie, he was going to bump his car into the young hunter's to have them pulled to one side. Now with the other car ahead of him his plans were ruined, when the traffic started to move they saw Garth moved into the right lane. Seeing that he couldn't move over do to the traffic flow he sighed in frustration, his eyes widen when he saw the car turning in front of the truck ahead of them. Slamming his fist into the steering wheel he heard Tim cussing at him for being stupid, when the few cars ahead of them turned right he thought he could get ahead of the truck. As he was about to turn in to the right lane to pass the truck, a huge one pulled right up next to them stopping their turn. Cursing at the driver for getting in his way his blood boiled, looking over he saw that Tim was giving him death glares. Not wanting to get into a fight at the moment he told Tim to keep a look out, he would check the cross streets on his side and visa versa.

"Tim, I don't want to hear one word coming from your mouth right now, looked to your right and I will look to the left. One of us should see his car down one of the streets, glaring at me won't be helping finding him."

"If you would have done what I said we would have never lost him, I should have been behind the wheel for this."

"That's right you are better hunter, drive, person then me I forgot how perfect you are."

"It's not me being perfect dumb ass, it's me being smarter then you. Like you said keep an eye on the cross streets so we can find him."

Driving down the road they didn't see hid or hair of the car they needed, with it getting late they looked for a hotel. Finding one Tim went in to get a room for the night so they can rest, and figure out who this other hunter is. Getting the key he told Reggie to go get them some dinner so he can make some calls, stepping inside he sat a the table by the window to keep an eye out for Reggie. Scrolling through his listings he knew a few hunters who can help them, finding one that knows about all the hunters he hit the call button. Waiting for the man to answer he was beginning to wonder if it will go to voice mail, by the fourth ring he heard the deep voice of the man he need info from.

"Norm, this is Tim calling, I need information on a hunter."

 _"Hey Tim how are you doing, haven't heard from you in a while. Still hanging out with that jackass Reggie that almost got my friend killed."_

"Yes Norm, I'm still with Reggie and sorry about your friend, that's not what I'm calling for I need info on a hunter."

 _"Oh haven't heard from you in almost a year since the hunt, never once calling to see how my friend is doing. Now you call out of the blue to get info about a hunter, so that Reggie could get him kill to I don't think so Tim."_

"Norm this is important-just let me explain-like I said let me explain, this is about Sam Winchester-"

Tim got cut off from the yelling of the man on the phone when he mention Sam's name, he could tell by the tone he was on fire by the name.

 _"Did you say Sam Winchester that demonic son-of-a-bastard that let Lucifer free, the one that Bobby Singer protected almost shooting my leg off? That Sam Winchester are you talking about."_

"Yes Norm, that's the same one I'm talking about the one that had a Demon lover, we had him and had fun with him until Nathan decided to bring him back to Dean. The whole time we had him he told us Dean wanted nothing to do with him, that stupid bastard didn't listen to the piece of shit which got him killed."

"Dean looked upset for a brother who didn't care about his little brother if he lived or die, even had his Angel friend knock me and Reggie out. When we woke up this young hunter I think Dean called Garth was checking Sam over, the Angel place his hands on Sam and Garth and they disappeared. Dean was piss off big time it was our cue to get the hell out of dodge, would you know who this Garth person is."

 _"If it's the hunter I know, Garth is a joke in the hunter community he's an accident ready to happen, everyone won't hunt with him even Bobby was surprise he's lasting as long as he has. Now with Singer gone he's been taking his place, some will listen to him while others stay away from him."_

"Well he's been helping Castiel to get Sam away from Dean so there's something that he knows, we were following him and Reggie screwed up like he always does. Now we lost him here in Houston at the moment will be headed out tomorrow, don't know where he's at or even if he still in the city."

 _"There are some hunters I can call who knows him they might get some info, give me a few hours to found out anything I will get back to you."_

Hanging up with the hunter he heard Reggie pulling up with dinner, opening the door for him they sat at the table to eat. After their meal they both took their showers then settle for the night, a few hours later Norm called Tim back with bad news, which angered him and Reggie.

 _"A few hunters who knows Garth call me back after talking with him, they said that he's on an important case and can't tell them what it is. Won't even tell them where's he's heading even got his GPS turned off, sorry if that's not the news you wanted."_

Fuming they both sat there stewing in their own thoughts of anger.

~~~SPN~~~

Hours has past since Dean called Jackson for any information about Sam, he was beginning to wonder if the man was still alive. He heard through the hunter's grape vine that Jefferson was torn apart by a pack of werewolves, he felt so bad for the younger brother to loose his older brother like that. He knew that Sam would have felt if Dean died like that, even with him being in California at Stanford when he heard about Jefferson. Even leaving on bad terms with him up and going off on his own without a second thought, it didn't help with their dad telling Sam not to come back if he walked out the door. Dean knew deep down that Sam would be upset on loosing his brother like that, just like he would be if anything happens to his little brother. Now here he is wondering if Jackson was still alive or even being a Doctor now, if he was there should be a chance he would know something about Sam.

Feeling like a cage Tiger he had to get out of the room to get some fresh air, taking his phone with him he walked to McDonald that was down the street. Arriving there he order his food while waiting for it he check his phone, there was no calls or messages from any of his friends. Shaking his head with his lips tight with anger his thoughts went to Cas, how could he just take Sam away like that without letting him know where? Yes they were fighting with him having trust issues with his sibling telling him some awe full things, that didn't mean he didn't care or love Sam cause he did he was just piss. Seeing that his food was up he took the cup to get his drink before leaving, heading back to the hotel he couldn't stop his anger he was feeling this time towards Cas and Benny.

Arriving back to the room he sat at the table by the window to have his meal, as he ate his eyes wondered over to Sam's duffel and bed. He misses his brother wishing that he was here giving him the bitch face, or giving him crap about his eating habits with fast greasy foods he enjoys. After finishing he throw the bag and cup into the trashcan, once again looking at his phone with frustration growing inside of him. Flopping back in his bed he turned out the T.V to watch anything to keep his mind busy, turning to a favorite show of his and Sam's he turned it off not wanting to watch it. Rubbing his hands across his face before running them through his hair to the back of his neck, he could feel all the tension in his body winding up like a spring toy ready to snap. He needed any kind of information about his younger brother were-a-bouts, so he can fix the damage he has done to him emotionally with his words. Leaning against the headboard of the bed he close his eyes to help rid of the headache, with all the stress he is under it's starting to effect him he needed to calm down and relax. Just as he was about to drift off to sleep he heard his phone ringing, snapping his eyes open he juggle the phone out of his pocket. Flipping it open he saw that it was Jackson calling him back relief went through him, now he might get some answers about his brother that he needed.

Hearing the doctor's voice gave Dean hope that he could finally find out where Sam was, hearing the words he couldn't stop the excitement he was feeling.

 _"Dean, this is Jackson. I do have information on your brother."_

"Thank god you called me back Jackson, I need to know where Sammy is."

 _"That's why I'm calling Dean to let you know about Sam, he's here with me as my patient."_

"Where are you so I can come to see my brother Jackson, I have to be there with him please tell me where you are."

Dean heard silence after he asked his friend where he and Sam were, getting a bad feeling he ready himself for bad news. When Jackson started to talk to him about a few things when it came to Sam, he felt a little anger towards him for keeping his brother away from him. He knew that Cas told him not to tell him where they are, he hope that his friend would at least have the guts to let him know. Hearing him saying they would meet gave Dean some hope to see Sam; he just had to wait until he tells him where he is.

 _"I was told by Castiel not to let you in to see Sam or even be here, I told him that was one thing I can not do is keep this from you. There are going to be a few things we need to go over Dean, before I even let you any where near Sam. He's in critical condition Dean we almost lost him on the table, I can't go over everything on the phone we will have to meet. Won't have you come here we will see each other some place else, I need to know if you are in any way going to jeopardize Sam's health."_

 _"I'm only doing this for Sam's sake Dean not on what Castiel has told me, he didn't even want me to talk to you. I can't keep this from you on how Sam is doing and his recovery, I have to make sure that you won't hurt him in any way. Cas has told me that you and Sam are not that close anymore for one reason or another, I have to see this for my self before I even let you see your brother Dean."_

"I understand Jackson even though I'm a little upset you can't tell me where Sammy is, tell me where to meet you and I will be there. I have to get to see my brother Jackson I have to know how's he's doing, I can trust you with him I can't trust Castiel or Garth right now. Please Jackson I got to see my brother."

Dean could hear his voice crack at the last part begging his friend to see Sam; he could feel all his emotions swirling inside of him on the thought of not seeing Sammy. He started to pack his duffel as he waited for Jackson to give him the information; setting his and Sam's bag on his bed he sat back down with paper and pen. When there's was more silence he really got worried that Jackson hung up on him, hearing a sigh he knew he was still on the phone trying to decide on what to do. Finally he got the information he was waiting for, writing it down he told his friend he will be there.

 _"Alright Dean I will give you an address on where we can meet to talk about Sam, it's going to be a Holiday Inn 300 S. Vista Ave Boise Idaho it's off the 84 expressway. I don't know where you are coming from or how long it will be, take your time getting here don't rush or do something foolish like getting a ticket. When you are 20 minutes away call me and I'll meet you there, there's a lot to talk about Dean so be prepared."_

"I'm in Houston, Texas right now it's going to take me at least two days, or unless I drive straight through-alright I will stop for the night to get some rest." Dean changed his mind when Jackson yelled at him over the phone. "Geez you are so bossy for a doctor Jackson wonder where you got that from, I will see you when I get there probably around dinner time. Will call when I'm 20 minutes out from there, I will see you then my friend."

"Like I said Dean take your time stop for the night and rest, don't want you getting yourself tired out driving all night. I will see you then my friend."

Hanging up with his friend Jackson got up from his chair to go check on Sam, as he was about to reach for the door he heard a voice behind him. Turning around he saw that it was the Angel looking at him angrily; he didn't care if the man was anger with him he couldn't keep it from Dean. He didn't have to wait to long before he said what was on his mind, which made him just as anger maybe more.

"Jackson I told you not to call Dean about Sam, why did you call him after I said not to?"

"Castiel, Dean has every right to know how his brother is, I can tell by the sound of his voice he's worried. There's something else that I heard that got me concern, which is why I'm meeting him somewhere else. Don't you dare take Sam out of this hospital away from my care; he needs medical help which you can't provide for him. I will be damn if you are going to kill Sam over your own anger, now I want you out of my hospital until I see Dean better not see you until then."

Jackson stood his ground to the heavenly being to prove his point he means business, he will not let him hurt his friend anymore then he already is. Seeing him disappearing he walked out the door in anger slamming it hard, he knew he had to calm down before he goes to see Sam. Taking a deep breath he head to the elevators, pushing the button he needed he sage against the wall. Rubbing his hand over his tired face he took another deep breath, he hasn't lost his temper like that in a lone time on anyone. He wasn't going to let Cas tell him what he can or can't do when it comes to the Winchesters, they are his friends and he will do what is the right thing. Hearing the bell telling him it's his floor to get off, waiting for the doors to open he took another deep breath to relax his nerves.

Stepping out of the doors he walked down the hallway towards the recovery room, he had to see how Sam was holding up after surgery. Going through the doors he saw the nurse sitting with Sam keeping a close eye on him, as he step up to the bed he check the chart over to see how he's doing. Seeing that nothing has change he blew out a breath of relief, that means Sam is holding his own at the moment. Feeling secured that he can move him to a room he called ICU to get the room ready, after hanging up and with the nurse's help he got Sam ready for his move.

One thing he was thankful for was that the ICU was on the same floor as the recovery room, going through the double doors he walked to the third door to his right. Pushing Sam inside he rolled his bed to the far side of the room; he didn't want to move him from the bed at the moment. He will see how he does through the night before he does that, changing the top sheet he check his vitals and breathing. Seeing that his blood pressure was still low which is do to the surgery, and the blood lose he suffered before arriving him, but it wasn't as low as it was when he arrived. Checking his temperature he notice he had a low-grade fever, which is common after a tough surgery like Sam had. Writing it all down he told the nurse to keep a close eye on him tonight, check his vitals ever three hours through the night. If his tempt gets any higher to give him fluids and a shot to reduce his fever, to call him if anything and he means anything happens.

The next two days went in a blur for Jackson as he kept a close eye on Sam; at one point he thought he might loose his patient. Walking to the room he heard the heart monitor going off loudly so he ran, rushing into Sam's room he saw that he was having troubles breathing even with him being tube. Checking his chest he could hear fluids, which means his lung collapse again, rushing him into emergency surgery he put a chest tube in. Getting some of the fluids out from around his heart he started to breath better, bringing him back to recovery before he brought him back to his room. The rest of the day he kept a close eye on his young friend, he didn't like how pale he looked now or how low his blood pressure was. Taking a seat next to the bed he couldn't stop seeing the 15 year old laying there, even then he gave Jackson and Jefferson some scared then to. Shaking his head out of the thought not really want to think of his brother, he looked over at the young man in question as he shook his head.

"Sam, you know how to scare the crap out of people don't you kiddo, you did the same thing back at the clinic. You have to fight to win this my friend don't loose the battle now; I know you and Dean are not seeing eye-to-eye right now. He's on his way here he wants to see you so bad Sam, I will be meeting him in a few hours down the road. Do me a favor while I'm gone to meet with him, don't be acting like a drama queen agree."

Jackson smiled to himself when he said drama queen to the young man on the bed, which was Dean's favorite joke when it came to his little brother. He couldn't stop the fear he was feeling that something would happen, knowing it was just his protective instincts kicking in for him. It's been a day since his surgery to correct his collapse lung, with the chest tube in place to drain the fluids he's been doing better. Getting up from the chair he walked to the door taking one last look at the man, heading to the nurses station he let them know he's heading out for the night. Telling them that is anything happens to Sam to call him right away, no matter didn't matter what time of the night it was to call him.

Heading out into the cool night air he took another deep breath to clear his mind, getting into his car he headed to his apartment to clean up. After his shower he waited for Dean's call letting him know he was close, as if on cue his phone rang knowing it was him calling letting him know he's almost there. Getting up from his couch he grab his keys and coat before heading out the door, locking it behind him he walked down the hallway to the parking garage. Pulling out he headed towards the Holiday Inn to meet up with Dean, when he arrive he didn't have to wait to hear the throaty growl of the Impala. Waiting for the young man to park he walked over to the car, he was shock at the scene before him how tired and pale Dean was.

~~~SPN~~~

After talking to Jackson Dean grabbed the bags heading out the door to the Impala, putting both duffels in the trunk he slammed it shut. Getting behind the wheel he started her up pulling out of the parking space, as he pulled onto the road on thing was only on his mind get to Sammy. He only stop for food and gas didn't want to waste any time, he would have drove straight through but Jackson was right he needed to rest. Pulling into a no name motel in a no-name town in what state he was in, he booked himself a room for the night. Getting his shower in after having dinner he laid in bed with Sam's book in his lap, he read some other things that his brother wrote in there about what happen. What he kept going to was the entry of his birthday, for some reason he couldn't stop ready that one it bothered him a lot. Wasn't sure if it was him talking about killing himself, or getting drunk and driving his Baby back home. He knew it wasn't that Sam got the date wrong knowing how upset and out of it he was, his birthday was January 24 not the 27th as his little brother wrote in here. Reading it one more time he knew now why it bothered him so much, it was the fact that Sam missed his brother so much. That he didn't want a job that he went to college to become, something that Sam always wanted to be a Lawyer. Seeing how excited he was to get into a law firm maybe going back to school, only to cancel it cause his brother wasn't there it hurt Dean deep. He never knew how depress Sam really was when he kept saying he wanted to kill himself, that was a stab in his heart that took his breath away to know this.

Laying the book on the nightstand turning the light off he snuggle into his pillow, the last thought in his mind on what he'll do when he sees his brother. Pulling from his sleep he turned his head toward the offending light, looking over at the window he saw that it was already daylight. Wondering what time it was he looked at his watch, with wide eyes he was surprise to see it was eight in the morning. Jumping out of bed he ran to the bathroom to take care of business, as he washed his hand and brush his teeth he notice he looked pale and tired. Shaking his head at his reflection he didn't have time to worry about it, he had to get on the road to get to Boise before dinnertime.

Getting change he grabbed the book and his duffel off the bed as he rushed out of the room, putting all his things in the trunk he raced out of the parking lot. He only stop for gas he was to focus on getting to were he had to be, skipping breakfast and lunch he was feeling a little light headed as he pulled into the parking lot of the Holiday Inn. Seeing Jackson waiting for him as he pulled into a parking space, getting out of the car he sway a little on his feet before he right himself. Seeing the concern look on his friend face he blew it off, getting his bag from the trunk just as Jackson walked up to him. Shutting the lid he shook his friend hand before getting a hug from him, returning the jester after the shock wore off he pulled away. Before he could say anything the Doctor asked how he was feeling.

"Dean, how are you feeling did you get a good night sleep, did you eat a good meals on your way here?"

"Jackson, I'm fine-okay I didn't eat all day the last meal I had was last night. I got a good sleep well if you call getting only six hours good."

"Dean, I told you to get a good night sleep and some food in you, now we are going to get you a room-don't want to hear it-we are going to get some dinner before we talk about Sam."

Seeing that his friend meant what he said Dean went along with it for now, he was going to get information about his brother. As they walked up to the door Castiel stood in front of them, blocking their way to the building looking anger at Dean for being here.

"Cas, I don't want to hear a word from you bastard, you took my brother from me without letting me know where."

"That is because you don't want Sam as a brother Dean remember, you said it yourself that you and him are no longer brother's. You didn't do anything to look for him when he went missing, you hung around with Benny, going to bars, playing pool, you not once thought about Sam. Now you are acting like you care when I know you don't, I told Jackson not to tell you where Sam was and he did."

"I even told him if he did I would take Sam from him so you will never find my friend, I wish I could take him away from you without killing him. I will not let you harm Sam again Dean I'll do what I have to so I can keep him away from you." Walking into Dean personal space, which he knew he hates to make his point. "I will not let you harm Sam in any way not anymore Dean, you won't be seeing him until I give the okay."

Cas could see the anger build in Dean by his whole body shaking, with the death glare that would make the Demons runs not him. He waited for the older brother to explode with his anger; instead he got a low growl before he talked to him in a voice that would scared anyone else.

"You even touch my brother Castiel and I will stab you with the Angel blade, before I send your ass to another plain of excitant. So far away from my brother and me as I can send you to, then I will place all the Angel sigil around the room to ward you off. No matter what you won't be keeping me away from seeing Sammy, I know what I did hurt him bad thinking I don't love him cause I do. So try to stop me Cas and see how far you get with that, Jackson let's go inside I need to get away from this person."

Pushing his way past the Angel the older brother stormed into the hotel, followed by his friend who is equally pissed at Cas. Getting a room for his friend they headed up to the fourth floor, walking into the room Dean was surprise how nice it looked. He never seen rooms this nice before not even in some of the motel he stayed in, placing his bag on the bed he turned to his friend who was still angry. He could tell that Jackson wanted answers to what happen between him and Sam, hearing his stomach growl he motion his friend out of the room. Walking into the dinning room of the hotel the smell of food made his mouth water, he couldn't wait to eat some good food for a change. Getting a table in the corner away from prying ears, they order their dinner and drinks as they waited Dean looked around the place. Jackson could tell that Dean has never eaten at places like this before, he smile at the look on his face like a child in a candy store. Getting their food and drinks they ate in silence both lost in their own thoughts, Dean on how he will tell Jackson about him and Sam, and Jackson on what kind of condition Sam was in. After their meals they had a cup of coffee with their desert of pie, after their table was clear Jackson looked over at Dean straight in the eye. He needed answers on how his relationship with Sam got so bad, before he talked to him about how Sam is at the moment.

When he looked over at Dean his heartache for him on what he saw, there was fear, anger, hurt, betrayal all in his eyes right now. He didn't know where to begin on what is going on with the brothers, he knew it will be something he won't like by the way Dean is acting. Taking a deep breath he was hoping he would get some honest answers out of Dean, seeing the way he is all broken he just might get what he asking for.

"Dean, before I tell you about Sam condition I need to know what happen to you both."

What the doctor saw in the young man eyes took his breath away, he saw guilt, tears, pain, self loathing that he thought he would never see in Dean.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel watch as Dean and Jackson walked into the hotel after their argument; he could feel his anger building inside of him towards both men. He still didn't want Dean here or even see Sam right now with him being so weak, then to have Jackson go against his request to bring his former friend here. His anger burned bright inside of him to the point he wanted to destroy something, knowing he can't do it here with to many people around he left. Arriving in an empty warehouse he let his anger loose he didn't hold it back, all the windows shatter, the light bulbs exploded, the tables, chairs, desks and shelves splitter when he waved his hands. By the time he was done you would have thought a tornado went through the building, looking around at the damage he had done around him he wanted to do more. Seeing some stone pillars in the center of the room he walked a few feet away from them, as he concentrate his eyes turned a brilliant blue, his wings spread from behind him. When his wings were fully spread like an Eagles wings in flight, a white light came from him as it spread around the room, all the stone pillars burst into sand and stone. Without the pillars holding up the roof up as it once was now it all laid in rubble, looking around at the damage he has done he could still feel his anger. Heading outside he looked around to make sure no one heard the collapse of the building, seeing that he was in the middle of know where he could finish his temper tantrum. Spreading his wings again with his eyes the brilliant blue as before, white light glowed around him as it spread all the light bulbs in the poles all blew out. Feeling some of the anger has gone there still was a little left inside of him, knowing that part won't go away anytime soon as long as Dean is around. Looking around at the damage he just cause he was glad that no humans were hurt, hearing his phone ring he already knew who it would be.

Taking the phone from his coat pocket he looked at the caller ID, seeing that it was Garth he hit the talk button.

"Garth, where are you?"

 _"I'm just driving into Boise city limits, where are you?"_

"I'm at a warehouse just outside of town or city, use your phone to find me Garth."

 _"Alright I will used my GPS to find your location make sure you turn yours back on, so I can find you will be there as soon as I can."_

Hanging up with his friend Cas stood where he was waiting for Garth to find him, thinking about what Dean said to him before walking into the hotel. He could feel his anger growing again at his words he spoke; he knew that the older brother meant every word he said. One thing he knew about the older Winchester is he goes through with his threats, especially when his younger brother is involved with those threats. His friend won't hold back from them either he will go in for the kill without any warning, will rush right in with guns blazing killing what ever hurt his brother. Even now with them being at odds he had to be careful with Dean's anger, the look in his eyes told him everything he already knew.

Now with the brothers being so far apart in their relationship even breaking at the seams, there's still that fire he saw in Dean when it comes to Sam. He knows that Dean still cares about his little brother deep down, just right now there's to much anger, resentment, betrayal that is clouding his feelings. Those three things are ripping the brothers apart mostly with Dean being the big part, were as Sam has been trying to make a mends with his brother. Now with Sam the look he gave Dean before he passed out from the abuse he took, he saw there was no fight left in them he was ready to get away from the pain. He's not even sure if Sam wanted to come back from all the hurt Dean caused him, he's not even fighting to come back since he felt it when he gave him some of his grace.

Lost in his thoughts he didn't see Garth pulling up to the curb until he shut the door, when he looked up he saw the young hunter walking up to him. As his friend came near he saw him looking around at the damage, he knew what he was thinking before he even asked him why he was here.

"Cas, why are you standing around here for? This place is in ruins there's nothing here, so why are you here?"

"After I talk with Dean at the hotel I felt my anger growing strong towards him, so I had to let it out on something so I took the building down. Along with the lights in the poles in the parking lot." Seeing the scare but amuse face on his friend, he shrugged his shoulders. "I think it's what you humans call a temper tantrum, had to get it out some how couldn't take Dean out even thought I felt like it."

"Cas, if you did that to Dean even though he does deserves it, that would crush Sam to know you kill his brother."

"Yes, it would crush Sam if I took his brother out in anger, he is my friend I can't do that to him."

"Alright, where do we go from here then?"

"Since Jackson don't want me in the hospital anymore he threaten me not to come back, he knows who you are so either of us can't go there. Let's look for a hotel to stay in while I think on our next move, have to some how keep a close eye on Sam."

Walking to the car Cas felt anger at Dean grow strong again burning bright, with one last burst of power he blew the light about Garth's car. Watching his friend duck then glare at him he shrug his shoulders, saying sorry for scaring him like that with his temper tantrum he had. They both got in driving away from the war zone Cas created, turning the car around he headed to the Holiday Inn to get a room. Changing his mind when the Angel told him that is where Dean is, they found a motel down the street from the hospital he wanted to be close to Sam.

~~~SPN~~~

Dean sat there when Jackson asked him about what happen between him and Sam, working around the lump in his throat he took a drink of water. Clearing his throat he looked over at his friend who was waiting patiently for an answer, licking his lips to keep his mouth from drying he went into all the details.

"Sam and I are not that close as we were once Jackson last time we met, a lot of things have happen between us some of it is my fault some is Sam's. After I got him from school to looked for our dad when he disappeared, he were starting to be brother's again after all the hurt of him leaving was gone. There was still some tension between us since we haven't seen each other in four years, he wanted to find dad so he can kill the Demon who killed his girlfriend."

"As the years have gone by we started to be brother like we used to be, bantering with each other, pranking each other just like before. Then the Demon that killed our mom and Jessica took Sam, to a old ghost town with other gifted kids like Sam who have certain powers. When I found him one of the guys stab Sam in the back, he died in my arms Jackson I couldn't stop it. I felt like a failure watching over my brother's dead body, out of desperation I went to a crossroad to make a deal with a demon. She would bring Sam back to me and I will have a year to live, I took the deal with no question ask I need Sam by me. When Sam found out about he was piss at me for doing it, he wanted to get me to break the deal but I couldn't do it without Sammy dying. When it came for my time to come to go to hell, we thought of a plan to see if I could get out of it. Only to have Lilith being there when the Hell Hound came to take my soul to hell, Sam had to watch helplessly as the hound torn me apart. Four months I was in hell three of it I was being tortured in the worse ways, finally I couldn't take it anymore so I gave in and torture souls that came down."

"Sam has tried to get me out of hell for those four months, he tried everything he could think of only to have it back fired. That is when this Demon bitch Ruby who came back to help Sam, she told him before I went to hell she could help him. Only to find out it was all a lie that she couldn't get me out of my deal, so when I was in hell she had Sam work with her by using his powers. When I finally made it out of hell I went to Bobby's, from there we found Sam with a woman who I thought was pretty hot. I knew there was something different about my brother couldn't put my finger on it, as we looked to see who got me I notice Sam wasn't around. Bobby and I found a warehouse to call who ever got me up top, when he came in all the lights exploded the bullets didn't kill him, the knife had no effect on him. Come to find out he was an Angel of the lord name Castiel that raise me out of hell, he would show up ever so often to tell me things."

"He sent me back to the 70's to met my parents when they were dating, wasn't sure why he would bring me to met them. Come to find out that my mom made a deal with ole yellow eyes, that he gets to come to the house after 10 years for a child. He possess my grandfather who killed my dad to get my mom to say yes, when I got there she already had the deal done I couldn't stop it. When I got back to our time I asked him why he showed me that, he told me to stop Sam for going down the dark path. I asked him where he was so I went to the place, what I saw made my blood boiled on Sam using his powers to cast out Demons. The lady who was with him was Ruby who got him to drink her blood, to kill Lilith who was the last seal to let Lucifer free."

"After all the lies, sneaking around with the bitch I couldn't trust Sam anymore, I kept my distance from him even when we were together. Got to the point were we went our separate ways to spend time apart, while we were on our own a dick bag Angel name Zachariah took me five years in the future. Were I was a freedom fighter against the people infected with a virus, that made them into a zombie type monsters. When I ask my future self about Sam were-a-bouts he told me he didn't make it, I couldn't breath when I heard that Sammy died and I wasn't there. Come to find out he did die in away by the way of saying yes to Lucifer, when we got there I saw him kill me-well the future me by breaking my neck. The fallen Angel told me this is what's going to happen, that Sam will say to him and I wouldn't say yes to his brother Michael. The Angel who took me there told me that will happen unless I say yes, told him in so many words to go screw himself I will not say yes. Sam and I got back together so I can keep an eye on him; to make sure he didn't say yes which he did so he can stop Lucifer. He jumped into the pit in hell to stop the world to end along with Lucifer, our half brother Adam/Michael went in with him."

"For a whole year I tried to live a normal life with a girl name Lisa and her son Ben, I did my best to be happy to make a life for us. Deep down the only thing I really wanted was my brother by me, there were times I wanted to find a way to get him out of hell. One day my brother showed up out of the blue when I was attack, come to find out he was hunting a djinn that cause you to see things. The whole year he was hunting with our supposedly dead grandfather, come to find out that Sam soul was missing it was still in the cage. We-will I tried to find a way of getting it back Sam's soul back inside of him, when everything failed I went to find the horsemen Death who got my brother's soul."

"Castiel was having his own problems with an Angel Raphael who wanted to control heaven, Cas found a way to deal with him by getting the souls from Purgatory. He went behind our back to work with the King of Hell Crowley, he's a whole different story Jackson, we told him to stop working with him. He said he couldn't do it then we found out he was the one who got Sam out of hell, only to leave his soul in the cage for the whole year. We summon Death to kill Cas who had all the souls in him, when he couldn't he told us he would create a eclipse that night. When all this was happening our so call friend took the wall down in Sam's head, through all of this he kept seeing vision of Lucifer telling him lies. When we got Cas there to get the souls back in which we thought we did, only to have the Leviathans still inside our friend. They escape when Cas went into the water system infecting some of the people, one of them Dick Roman wanted us as a food source to eat. After finding a way to kill them we went after him, he killed Bobby, we killed him which sent me and Cas to Purgatory."

"The whole year I was in Purgatory Sam was living the life he always wanted, one that didn't include me in it. I fought against all kind of scary monsters to get to a portal to freedom; I became friends with a vampire name Benny while I was there. With his help I made it to the portal with him hitch hiking in my arm we made it out, tried to get Cas out to couldn't do it he gave up and stayed there. When Sam and I finally got back together I found out he never looked for me, I was hurt, anger, felt betrayed that he didn't look. He told me that he got in the Impala and drove off never looking back, found a women to live with to have his life he always wanted."

"Being back together doing what we do best hunting the evils in the world, we were always fighting with each other I couldn't let go of what he didn't do. Benny called for help so I went leaving Sam behind to take care of him, it felt good being around my friend we work good as a team. When Sam finally met him tension really came between us, he couldn't understand why I would be a friend with a Vampire. Why I wouldn't kill him since that is what we do kill monsters, for me Benny was a kindred spirit there was something between us. That all came to a head when he sent a hunter after Benny to kill him, which in turned killed Martin who was a friend of the family. I knew if Sam got to him he could kill my friend in a heartbeat, so I send him a text message from his girlfriend to get him out of the way. When we got back together the tension just mounded between us, we barely spoke to each other only when we have to."

"Then came the case with the curse penny that set off all the hurt and anger I felt, if it wasn't for Garth I would have killed Sam without a second thought. The penny feed off your anger towards that person you have a grudge against, we got into a fight I said some words if they were anything on how I was feeling it was bad. Garth hit me to get me to drop the penny and stop me from killing Sam, when I came off that anger I saw Sam on the floor with a bloody lip. That night he said some things that made me think things over, he even threaten to move on if I didn't so I back off a little. That was until that hunt were I thought it was Vampires cause Benny told me about, turns out it was a pack of werewolves that did the killing. With me being so angry with Sam I put the blame on him even though he was right, told him that I would have died if it wasn't for my brother Benny. After that I didn't hunt with Sam anymore, he got the cases I took Benny and Cas to do the hunts leaving him back at the motels."

"We got into a huge fight I couldn't stop myself once when the words came out, I through all the wrongs he did in the past. Choosing Ruby over me, drinking demon blood, running around soulless for a year, telling him he burned to many bridges I couldn't trust him like I used too. Telling him that I should have never made that deal to bring him back, even told him that I didn't love him, he destroyed my life by simply being born. I even saw the hurt look on his face and I didn't care how bad it hurt, the fire in me was burning to hot to give a damn about him and his feelings. When I got back to the hotel Sam wasn't there and I was glad he wasn't, didn't want to be around him anymore wishing he would just leave for good. When Cas and I got back from the library I saw Sam on top of Benny, he was about to behead him with a machete. I was seeing red at the sight before me Sam trying to kill my brother Benny, pulling Sam off I check over Benny to make sure he wasn't hurt. Not once did I check Sam over to see if he said was true, him saying that Benny attack him first didn't want to hear it."

"Telling him I couldn't trust him anymore, that I should have left his sorry ass behind, telling him we are no longer brothers before I kicked him out. I was so anger that everything came flooding back with all of his lies and betrayals; I was so happy that he left was hoping he wouldn't come back. As the weeks went by I was enjoying myself with Benny, doing hunts, going to bars not caring about Sam. After the second week turning into the third week I was getting a little concern, not enough to go look for him, would make a few phone calls that's it. A month have gone by with no sign of Sam I knew deep down something was wrong, but my anger kept me from following that feeling I was having. A few days ago someone from my past came to the door, when I ask him what he wanted he told me he had something that was mine. Not knowing what he was talking about he said that Sam was telling the truth, which I didn't care about him anymore which made my heart slammed in my chest. When I saw Sam for the first time in a month I saw red, this time it was at Nathan, Reggie and Tim for what they did to him. After killing Nathan I went to check on Sam I couldn't believe he was still standing, the way he looked Jackson I didn't know what to do or say to him. When he fell the screams that came from him made my heart stop, Cas kept me away from my own brother wouldn't let me near him. When I finally got to Sam I didn't want to touch him in fear of hurting him, what he told me crushed my soul to dust. Telling me it's what I wanted wishing him was never born, not being his brother, that I'm free from him, I don't love him."

"Then Cas place his fingers on Sam's and Garth forehead disappearing before my eyes, I yelled at Castiel to bring my brother back to me. When I left the hotel I took my and Sam's stuff and drove until night fall, I stop off at a motel in Houston that is when I saw a journal that he kept hidden. I'm not saying what I read in it until I talk to Sam, it showed how much of a dump ass I have been to my own brother Jackson. Now I have to get to be with Sammy so I can fix the damage that I have done, I need to talk to him Jackson tell him that I don't hate him. I want him as my brother that I love him, it wasn't his fault that mom and dad died, I didn't waste my life with him. Please let me talk with my brother I'm begging you."

After all the things he told Jackson he saw the look on his face, it was of shock, anger and horror, he was quite for a long time before he said anything to Dean. When he did there's was anger in his voice when he talk to his friend.

"Dean, I can't believe you told Sam that he mess up your life for being born, how could you say that to him with that much anger. Telling him he's not your brother anymore, you should have left him behind, just because you think he didn't care about you. I'm thinking maybe it's best you don't see Sam at all, but as a brother who lost a brother I can't do that. Rest assure I will be keeping a close eye on you when you're with Sam, at the moment he's not even awake so you might have to wait for a few days."

"With that being said with my out burst to you is over and done, there's a few things we need to go over about him. You are going to brace yourself for what I'm about to say, I'm not going to sugar coat it in any way at all."

Seeing that he had Dean's attention fully on him now he knows this will be hard for him, he could tell that the man in front of him is feeling ashamed with himself.

Dean knew that Jackson would be upset with him for what he was going to say, he wasn't expecting the out burst he got. Hearing him talk about him not seeing his brother he froze at first, then hearing that he couldn't do that he felt a little better. Now hearing him saying that he should brace himself on what's going on with Sam, he's feeling fear on what he's going to be hearing.

"When Sam was brought in he was covered with a sheet I was wondering why, when I pulled the sheet off I couldn't believe me eyes. When I saw all the burns, cuts, bruises, whip marks and contusions I knew it was going to be bad. He has a cut above his right eye, button lip, right cheek, as I work my way down to his neck and collarbone. His left collarbone has some bruising which got me concern which could mean a fracture or broken bone, his left shoulder is dislocated by the looks of the bruising many times it happen. His right shoulder has some bruising by some kind of object being hit hard, took some X-rays to make sure it wasn't broken which the right wasn't left one is broken. Moving down too his chest I couldn't stop the gasp at what I saw, his chest, abdomen and both arms covered in bruises, burns and cuts. Some of the cuts were deep and infected while other were shallow showing sighs of infection, the burns looks like the were made from a cattle prong and cigarettes some were old while other are new. I check his left arm for any breaks was worried by how deep the bruises were, went to his right arm I notice a lump between his elbow and wrist the bone was broke in half. Both his wrist are raw from rope burns with fiber in them, like he was hung by his wrist while they used him as a human punching bag."

"I carefully ran my hands over both of his rib cage to check from any fractures or breaks, since he has some really dark purple bruises to both sides. He got seven broken ribs four on his right side which one puncture his lung, three on his left side along with four fracture ribs on the same side. When I did the X-rays I notice a white mass where I felt the lump during his exam, wasn't sure if it was a bleeder from his kidneys or liver wouldn't know until we did surgery. When I did the ultra sound it indicated that he does have a bleeder a bad one, the mass was larger in the short time of the X-rays I took. When I saw that I had to get Sam into surgery as soon as I could, I call a friend of mine to ask if he could hold off his surgery he agreed. With his help we found the bleeder, which was a tear on his liver, before we could get it fix he flat line on the table from so much blood loss. We got him back after we used the paddles on him to restart his heart, both Lance and I work on getting the tear sewed up before he flat line again. With Lance's help we repair his puncture lung, got all the infected cuts clean and sewed, started him on another liter of blood. I stayed with him to keep a close eye on him before I move him to recovery; I had the Nurse keep a close eye on him while I went to talk with Castiel. We got into a fight about letting you know about your brother condition, it was something I couldn't keep from you no matter what he said."

"I kept Sam in recovery for an hour before I move him to ICU to keep a close eye on him, I felt such a strong protective instinct over Sam I couldn't leave him like that. He has a small fever which if common after surgery like his was, thank fully it didn't climb any higher with the fluids and antibiotic we gave him. After I called you I was on the way to check up on Sam when I heard his heart monitor, scared the crap out of me when I saw him having a hard time breathing even being tube. When I listen I heard fluids in his chest, which meant his lung collapse again, I took him into surgery to place a chest tube to remover some of the liquid. When I insert the tube I saw water coming out along with blood which confused me, yes I saw fluids in his lungs on the X-rays when it collapse wasn't sure how water got in there. I didn't notice him having water in his nose or throat at the time of the exam; it was like he had a secondary drowning like he was being duck under water. Won't know for sure how the water got in there until Sam is awake to answer questions, with the fluids off his heart he started to breath better. For the rest of the day I stayed with Sam to keep a close eye on him was to afraid to leave, I didn't like how pale he looked after the second surgery or how low his blood pressure was. When I saw it was almost time to leave to meet up with you, I had a talk with your drama queen of a brother on how he likes to scare the crap out of people."

"I told the Nurses to call me if anything happens to Sam while I'm gone, I don't care what time of the night it is I want to be notified. I'm hoping that I don't get a call tonight which means Sam is holding his own Dean, that would be a good thing after the two scares I got in two days. You are right about one thing my friend when it comes to your brother, he does like to be a drama queen to see how far he can push you."

Jackson and Dean both laugh at that with Sam being a drama queen, then he became serious again when he talked to him.

"Dean, I'm talking to as one friend to another friend don't take this personal okay." He waited until he got a sign from him. "I now know what is going on between you and Sam with all the stress and anger, you need to leave that behind you 'if' you want to see Sam anytime soon. I can tell when a patient isn't fighting to come back from what happen to them, Sam is being one of these kind of patients he isn't fighting to come back. From what I just heard on what's going on between you two I can see why, he don't think there's anything left for him to fight for to come back to. Without that fighting spirit he had before he won't pull through this Dean, I can only do so much as a Doctor I can treat the injuries but not the fighting spirit. In the morning I'm going to check up on Sam first thing when I get in, I will call you to let you know when you can come to see him. He needs to know that there is something to fight for my friend; he needs someone to latch onto if he's going to come back from this. I'm sorry if I'm being harsh right now but you need to know the truth, believe me I know the pain of loosing a brother."

Seeing the shock in his friend eyes he felt bad for putting it there in the first place, when it turned into horror of the possibility of loosing his brother he knows that pain. Sitting there he waited for Dean to come to terms on what he just heard, seeing the tears in his eyes brought tears to his along with the heart ache.

"S-So you're saying that S-Sammy could d-die?"

Seeing his friend nodding his head Dean felt his heart slammed into his chest, blinking back the tears he will do what ever it takes to get his brother back.

"I'll do what ever it takes to get Sammy back Jackson just tell me when, I need to be with him letting him know he's not alone."

"Like I said it will be tomorrow morning when I will check up on your brother, if he's holding his own I will give you a call letting you know when you can come. Until then you need to get a good night sleep Dean more then five or six hours, you look pale about ready to collapse if the wind blows on you."

"I'm not sure I can sleep now after what I just heard about Sammy Jackson, my quilt won't let me sleep and I am so tired right now. Tired of all the crap I put on my brother from my anger and stupidity, wish I can do a do over like none of this ever happen to us."

"I know what you mean Dean wish I could do one of those myself, for now we need to get you to bed let's go. Don't make me used the Doctor voice on you-I mean it get your ass moving."

Seeing his friend was getting up he walked him back to his room keeping a close eye on him, when they got there Dean got his sleep clothes to take a shower. While he was doing his things Jackson got him a glass of water to have, he didn't want him to be drinking any kind of liquor right now. Keeping a close eye on the door he crushed two sleeping pills putting them in his drink, mixing the water and pills he sat the glass by the bed. Hearing the door open he waited for him to sit on the bed before he gave him the water, watching he smell it before drinking he rolled his eyes at the man before him. Seeing he drank all the liquid he took the glass from him placing it on the counter, watching him carefully he waited until the pills pulled him under. Walking up to the bed he pulled the blankets over the young man, turning the lights off he looked over at the clock on the table. Seeing it was 10 pm he was getting tired him, saying his good night to the sleeping forum he headed out the door.

Arriving at his apartment he check his cell to see any calls from the hospital, sighing relief to see none he knew Sam was holding his own so far. Getting his night clothes on he laid in his bed sending a prayer to his brother, asking him to keep a close eye on Sam tonight before he fall asleep.

~~~SPN~~~

 _Looking around Sam was trying to figure out where he was or what he's doing here, he was in an open field with a river to his left an a oak tree next to it. Walking up to the tree he place his hand on it to see if it was real, feeling the rough bark under his palm he took a breath of relief. Feeling a cool breeze on his face he close his eyes as he leaned against the trunk, hearing the river as it flowed down stream he thought he might be in heaven. Opening his eyes he looked up to see a clear blue cloudless sky, looking around he saw grassy hills in the distance with flowers covering the ground. Stepping from the tree is when he notices he was barefooted when he felt the grass under his feet, frowning he glance down to see he had on white pants and shirt. Seeing no one around he was getting to wonder why he was here, checking himself over he couldn't feel any kind of pain like he did before. Hearing the river was making him thirsty walking over to the stream, he knelt down placing his hand in the cool water. Moving his hand back and forth before he cups his hand to drink some, the water felt refreshing going down his throat he drank some more. Getting back up he walked past the tree, through the field until he came to a path, looking to his right then his left deciding on which direction to go. Both ways was grass, fields, flowers, hills and sky; he wasn't sure which way he should go now since it all look the same. Glancing to his left he was startle when he heard a voice behind him, turning around he was shock to see who was there. Seeing the soft brown eyes, bearded chin, soft loving smile, he knew it was his dad standing before him. He was wearing the same clothes that Sam had on white pants and shirt, he should feel fear for being in the presents of his father he only felt love. He stood where he was as his father walked up to him, placing his hands on his son shoulders he spoke to him in a loving voice._

 _"Hey, Sammy we need to talk, son."_

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Finding a motel close to the hospital, Garth checked himself and Castiel into a room, driving down to the last door he park the car in front of it. Getting out he pulled his bag his from the backseat before heading to the door, opening it he let Cas go in first before checking his surroundings. Having the car followed him to Texas he became a little more cautious, he knew that he lost them in Houston he didn't want to take a chance. Stepping into the room he saw the Angel was sitting on the bed with a blank look on his face, wondering what got him so quiet he was going to ask him what's wrong.

"Cas what's the matter-" Garth stopped when his friend got up walking to the door, stepping up to him he had to know. "Cas, what's wrong you look worried, is there something wrong with Sam."

The Angel turned to his friend when he felt him next to him; he felt a presence that got him concern for Sam safety. Looking to the door he listen carefully to see if he could tell who it was, the only thing he could hear is Garth's breathing next to him. Wondering maybe it was just he worrying about his friend, got him more aware of things around him then he normally would have. Turning to his friend he saw the concern in his eyes, shaking his head no he turned to the young man.

"I thought I felt a presence close by not sure if it's just me being so worry about Sam, or being so anger that Dean is here, or Jackson not listening to me about Dean."

"Do you think it was the hunters that were following me when I left the motel, or is it Benny to come and finish Sam off?"

"That's not the kind I'm feeling, Garth of human or Vampire, it's more of a good and evil feeling that came over me. Like who ever it is wants to help us and at the same time want to do bad things, that's the only way I can explain it right now until I know more."

"Who ever it is Cas, it don't sound good at all for them or he/she to help us, especially if it has to deal with Sam right now."

"You are right, Garth we have to be on our guard when it comes to Sam, he's to weak and out of it right now he won't stand a chance. I'm going to go see Sam have to make sure he's doing okay, I know Jackson don't want me there at the moment. I have to see him to let him know to keep fighting not to give up, he's not fighting to come back he's giving up Garth."

"If you do go to see Sam make sure no-one sees you amigo, let me know how's he is doing would you."

Without answering his friend the Angel disappeared from the room with a flutter of wings, appearing in Sam's hospital room he looked around to see who was there. Hearing someone opening the door he made himself invisible to them, watching the nurse carefully as she did her task on taking care of his friend. When she left the room he step up to the bed looking down at the man who laid there, placing his hand on his head closing his eyes he gave the man some of his grace. Pulling the hand away he look down at him with concern in his eyes, he knew Sam has stop fighting to come back to him he felt sorrow. He didn't want to loose his friend like this all because Dean didn't give him anything to fight for, he had to get Sam to fight for his life if not he could loose him for good. Leaning down he whisper in his ear, he didn't want anyone to hear what he had to say.

"Sam, I know you are tired and hurting my friend you have to come back from this, I can feel you have giving up on life from all the pain. I know you think you have nothing to live for you do Samuel, there's Garth, Jackson and myself that wants you to fight for your life even Dean wants you to. He made you feel like you are all alone with no one around you, telling you things that hurt you so bad that it broke your spirit. You feel if you give up the fight it will end all the pain, quilt, loneliness you've been feeling, it won't Sam cause the people that do care will feel the same if you die. Please for me keep fighting my friend I can't loose you like this, find it in your heart the will to survive it's there Sam look for it."

Stepping back from the bed he felt a presence in the shadow of the room, he knew who it was and might be the one thing Sam needed to fight. Before leaving he told the presence what needed to be done, with that he disappeared from the room with a flutter of wings leaving Sam to the one who could help him.

~~~SPN~~~

 _Stepping up to his youngest son he put his hands on his shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes brown looking into blue/green ones._

 _"Son, you need to keep fighting, don't give up now."_

 _John said to Sam as he stood in front of his baby boy who's ready to give up the battle, he could see it in his eyes on how he's feeling. What he saw in them broke his heart and spirit to see the defeat in them; he knew what Dean did by his words and actions that cause all of this pain. He should know this look by now since it's the same Sam gave him, when they would fight and he'll say things to his young son. Wishing now that he could take it all back the words and his actions from back then, he was just so scared for his youngest back then that his anger got in the way._

 _Yes, Sam was just as stubborn as him and Dean even more so when his mind was set, that didn't mean he didn't love his boy he did just had a hard time showing it. Now he can make up for all the hurt he has done to him, let his boy know on how he really feels for him._

 _"Sammy, I know what Dean has done to you son with his words and actions, it's all the things I have said to you in the early years. You think he don't love you anymore, care about you, fight for you, son he still does he's just having a hard time-"_

 _John didn't finish when Sam interrupted him._

 _"Why is it when we always had a fight you always stuck up for Dean, you never stood up for me always knocking me down? You never listen to me when something went wrong on a hunt, always blame me for it when it was yours or Dean's fault not mine. Here you are now standing up for him it's okay for you two to always talk down to me, telling me all my faults, failures, things I did wrong but it's not okay for me to do that to you two."_

 _"Sam, I wish I could take all that stuff I did to you and throw it all away start over again, I can't do that what is done it's done we need to move on son. I know how hard I was on you was so scared you would get hurt or worse get kill, really thought what I was doing was the right thing I know now it wasn't. I know how hard it was for Dean to do what I ask of him before I made that deal, I was being selfish to put that on him about your destiny. Deep down I knew he would have saved you from what was going to happen, come to find out it still didn't work which mess up the both of you."_

 _"Well dad, yes that was selfish of you to put that on Dean's shoulders to kill me if I go dark, he should have left me for dead at Cold Oak then none of this would have happen. Since he wish I was never been born at least he wouldn't have my sorry ass to worry about, he would have never had to make that deal that he regrets he did. So instead of him leaving my sorry ass on the road side he should have left me for dead, he would have the perfect life with a brother he never have wanted."_

 _"Sam, is that how you think Dean really feels-just hear me out son cause that is not the truth? Dean loves you even now with him being so angry from the lies, betrayals, demon blood, yes I do know about that, taking side with a demon which I should kick your ass. Even leaving him in Purgatory for a year fighting for his life, Sam I'm not trying to make you feel like a failure 'cause you are not. I'm telling you this cause your brother does love you kiddo, ever since your mom put you in his arms he loved you with his whole heart."_

 _"Dad, yeah back then when we were little I know Dean loved me then, the last few years has been rough on the both of us since he went to hell. I made one mistake after another always bringing him down for them, going behind his back with a demon, drinking demon blood, and telling him lies time and time again. I can see why he would have not made that deal and suffer 40 years in hell for me; I have done one bad thing after another that came crashing down on him. I let Lucifer free to end the world and start the Apocalypse, letting all the horsemen out to rein their terror on people. After I saved the world I had to come back without a soul, doing things without carrying what I did even getting Dean turned. Had a Vampire turned him so we can find the nest before Samuel found a cure for it, even taking our grandfather side on some hunts leaving Dean in the cold. I can see why he hates me so much cause I hate myself, all I ever did my whole entire worthless life is letting him down I can't do it anymore."_

 _"I'm tired of fighting, arguing, anger, betrayal and hate Dean has towards me, I can't do it anymore pretend everything is alright between us when it's not. He will be happy with me gone from his life so he can have the brother he really wants, we are no longer brothers dad Dean and Benny are brothers not us."_

 _"Son, no matter how anger Dean gets at you he's still your brother son, even when you two were younger there were fights between you both. Some got so bad that he left you alone in the motel rooms, to come back with you in tears shaking from fear he held you tight in his arms. He always came back to you Sammy no matter how angry he was, there were times he stayed away from you after he got back. By the end of the day you two always made up with each other, would laugh and play the rest of the night."_

 _"Dad, that is when we were little when he did come back to me, now he only sees me as a burden something he wants to toss in the trash. He didn't even look for me the month I was with the hunters, getting tortured, whipped, burned, water board and having my knee dislocated seven times. He was out with Benny going to bars after the hunts they did together, staying in the hotel watching games on T.V having beers. Every time Nathan, Reggie and Tim came to do their torture on me, they would tell me all the things Dean has been doing. Do you know how many times it broke me to hear that my brother never once worried about me, that he was happy to have me out of his life once and for all. When they came I hope it would be the last time I saw them that they would kill me, I begged them to kill me right there in the basement they didn't. Now you want me to go back to a brother that was glad to have me gone, I can't do it dad I don't want to go back to the pain."_

 _Sam turned to walk away from his dad he didn't want to hear it anymore, he just wanted to be left alone in his own little place. Feeling a hand on his arm he tried to shake it off, the grip was tight preventing him to go any further. Turning to his father he was surprise to see the tears in his eyes, running down his cheeks unto his shirt. Wondering what cause such a response from a man who really shows his affection, he was ready to see the anger and hate in the brown eyes looking at him. Instead he only saw love, sympathy, and compassion in them, he was wondering was this really his father the mighty John Winchester._

 _John stood there to hear what Sam has said about his torture and what they said to him; it broke his heart some more to hear what kind of pain his son went through. Then to hear that Dean has never looked for his brother the whole time, to hear Sam say that he wouldn't go back to that pain anymore. He couldn't make a sound over the lump he had in his throat right then, nodding his head he jester for his son to walk with him. Putting his arm around his shoulders he started to walk down the path along side the river, he needed some time for his heavy heart to stop breaking for his youngest son._

~~~SPN~~~

Being in the warmth of sleep the part were you don't want to get up, even though your body is telling you it's time to get going. Jackson laid half asleep when he heard a buzzing sound next to him, slowly cracking his eyes open he looked were the sound was coming from. Glancing over at the nightstand he figure out what the noise was, he set his alarm clock for 8 O Clock in the morning last night. Since he's been at the hospital the last two nights he wanted to be close to Sam, not feeling comfortable leaving him alone in his state. Turning the alarm off he grab his phone turning it on to see if he got any calls, seeing none he took a deep breath of relief knowing Sam was holding his own.

Sitting up in bed wiping the sleep from his eyes before he lower his feet to the floor, lifting himself from the bed he walked to the kitchen. Grabbing the coffee pot he filled it with the right amount of water, pouring the water into the coffee maker he place the pot in place. Grabbing the coffee he added the right amount of grounds he would need, turning the machine on he went to take his shower before he have breakfast. Getting himself undress he stepped into the bathtub closing the curtain before turning the water, when the water came out of the sprayer he stood under to let the hot water wash over him. Grabbing the wash clothe and soap he scrub his hold body down, before taking the shampoo to wash his hair he then rinse himself off. Stepping out of the shower he dried himself off wrapping the towel around his waist, stepping back into the kitchen he notice the coffee just finish brewing. Taking a cup he poured the hot liquid in he like his coffee black, heading to the fridge he took two pieces of bread to make toast. As he waited for the bread he got a bowl from the strainer by the sink, adding cereal and milk he got butter out to put on his toast when it's ready.

Getting his meal to the table he sat down to have his breakfast, as he ate he kept going back to what he and Dean talked about last night. He was still a little angry at him for what he said to Sam in his anger, then not even looking for him the whole time he was gone. He understood why the older brother to be anger for what have happen over the years, but not to look for his brother he couldn't understand his decision on that. Even when him and Jefferson got into a fight that almost broke them apart, he still knew where he was even though they weren't talking or seeing each other. Shaking his head of that thought he didn't want to go there brings up to many hurtful memories on what happen between him and his brother. Taking his bowl and cup to the sink rinsing them out he headed to the bathroom, he had to get ready for work getting his teeth brush, putting his clothes and shoes on, grabbing his keys he was out the door. Walking to his car he looked at his phone to see if Dean might have called, seeing no messages from his friend he was glad he was still sleep. The pills he gave him last night would knock him out for at least twelve hours, when he checks up on Sam to see how he's doing then he'll call Dean.

Strolling into the hospital fifteen minutes later his first place he went to was Sam's room, stopping off at the nurses station he asked how it went. Walking to the room with the over night nurse he needed to ask her questions, since she was the one he looked after the young man during the night.

"Hello Janet, how was our patient last night?"

"He's holding his own, Doctor I check his vitals every two hours, he does have a slight fever when I took his temperature it was 99. I gave him 2 cc of Tylenol in his port two hours ago was about to check back on him, now you are here we can see if he's fever went down or up."

"I see you have that written down here on his chart when you gave it to him, let's check his temperature again to see if it did go down."

Getting the thermometer from the desk with a new clean earpiece, she walked up to Sam placing the tip in his ear. As Janet waited she check his vitals again blood pressure and heart rate, even listen to his lungs since she heard some gurgling earlier. Getting all the information she needed as she wrote it down is when the thermometer beep, reading the numbers she frowned to see it went up a degree. Handing the clipboard to Jackson so he can go over what she just did, as she waited to see if there was anything she might have missed.

Jackson took the clipboard back looking over the numbers, he didn't like how low Sam's blood pressure is. Seeing that it was 110 over 30 four hours ago now it's 100 over 20, to low for his own liking with the condition Sam is in. Reading his heart rate he was concern seeing it was 50 beats per minute four hours ago, now it's 40 beats per minute when she just check him over. His temperature is 100, which is normal since he had to go into surgery again, he would have to check it again in a few hours to see. Hopefully with the Tylenol she gave him would help lower it down some once when it starts to work, seeing that it's to early to give him another dose he would have to wait. Seeing that she wrote down hearing gurgling noise in his lungs concern him, with his lung collapsing twice he knew there would be some fluids still there. Stepping up to the bed he took his stethoscope from his coat pocket, putting the earpiece in his ears placing the resonator on Sam's chest. Listening carefully to the sounds in his lungs he was determine to know what was happening, when he heard the noise he knew what it was all about. Putting his fears to rest he was grateful the fluids were still only in the left lung, the right lung was clear of any fluids which is a good thing for his friend. Walking back to the nurse he could see how worried she is, wanting to put her mind at peace on what she heard he told her.

"The sound you heard, Janet is the fluids breaking up in his lung, which is a good thing for our young patient. I'm worried about his blood pressure and heart rate you did all the right things, it's up to Sam right now he needs to fight to win this."

"Thanks for letting me know, Doctor I became concern when I heard the gurgling sound, glad that it's clearing up instead of getting worse. I can see you have a strong connection to young Sam here, maybe knowing he's not alone will help him fight back."

"He is a very good friend Janet I hate to see this way again, the first time he fought to come back now I don't see it. I hope that his brother would help him fight to come back to us, I don't want to loose him as a patient and a friend."

"His brother could be the best medicine he would need Doctor, knowing there's someone who cares about him will help him fight."

"That is what I'm hoping for Janet have to call his brother now, I wanted to check up Sam first to see how he was holding up."

"If you don't need me anymore it's about time to leave for the day, if you still want me to stay longer I will."

"No that's okay, Janet you go home spend some time with your family, I'll see you later when you come in for work."

Watching the young nurse leave the room he turned his attention onto Sam, he had to get his friend to fight this battle to win. He's hoping he's doing the right thing on letting Dean in here, from what he heard he's the reason Sam not fighting to come back. Placing the clip board back in it's place he headed towards the door, taking one last look he walked out the door to call Dean.

Entering his office he walked behind his desk pulling his chair out before he sat down, rubbing his hands over his face he took a deep breath. Looking over at the picture of him, Jefferson, Sam and Dean he couldn't believe how things went south, back then both brothers were close thick as thieves as Jim put it. Now they are so far apart with one not fighting to live, while the other is angry as hell, with him in the middle of it. 'How have things got so out of control between you two, wish you were here with me brother.' Take a deep breath to rein in his emotion he can't let it get to him right now, reaching into his pocket for his cell phone turning it on he press Dean's number he didn't have to wait to long before he answered.

~~~SPN~~~

Slowly being pulled from his warm comfortable slumber Dean listen to his surroundings, he thought he heard someone was calling for him. Not wanting to move from his place in bed he snuggle back into his pillow, hearing the voice again he open his eyes to look around the room. Rolling onto his back he thought it was Sam calling him, turning his head to the right he saw that the other bed was empty. Lifting up on his elbows he looked around the room to see who it was, glancing over at the bathroom he saw that the door was close. Thinking Sam was behind the close door needing help got him moving, before he knew what was happening he rushed inside to an empty room. Panic set inside of him wondering where his little brother has gone off to, as he stepped away from the bathroom he saw Sam's bag on the bed. Stepping up to the bed and bag he open to see all his clothes were inside, seeing the book laying on top of his clothes it all came back to him in a rush.

All the things he said to his brother, the hurt look in his eyes, the anger he felt, and the way Sam looked when he saw him with the hunters. It all came back to him like a hurricane wave of emotions threaten to shallow him whole, the look in Sam's eyes telling Dean he's ready to go before he closed them. Then having Cas and Garth take his brother from him without telling him where, when he finally found out where Sam is he still can't see him. His angered returned full force more towards Castiel for keeping him away, even has some with Jackson for not letting him see his brother yet. To be honest with himself he still harbor some anger to his sibling, the feeling of betrayal still holds strong in him even though it's not as much. He can't let it go it still burns deep inside of him not as bright as before, it's going to take time for the fire that's still there to burned out completely.

Shaking him out of that mind set he had to get his emotion under control, if he shows any kind of anger to Jackson or Sam he won't be seeing him at all. With that in mind he walked back to his bed bending down he pick up his bag, grabbing fresh clothes he walked back to the bathroom to take a shower. Standing under the hot water he felt all the tension in his body loosen, he stood there letting the water rush over him relaxing him more. Grabbing the soap and clothe he washed himself up with a lather of suds, he grabbed the shampoo putting a small amount on his hand he washed his hair. Rinsing himself of the suds and shampoo he turned the water off before stepping out, drying himself he brush his teeth before he put his clothes on. Stepping out of the bathroom twenty minutes later he looked at his phone, seeing no messages he was shock to see it was ten in the morning. Grabbing the keys to the room he walked out the door, he headed to the dining room to get some breakfast and coffee. He wasn't really hungry but he knew Jackson would get mad if he didn't eat, finding a table to in the corner he waited for the waitress. Getting his meal of eggs, sausage and toast along with the coffee, he normally would dig right in this time he didn't enjoy the food he ate. After eating the food he left a tip before going back to the room, changing his mind he stepped outside to look around the place. Walking down the sidewalk behind the building he saw a good size swimming pool, opening the gate he stepped inside as he stroll around to see what they had. Finding a chair he sat in the shade as he looked around the place, off to one side there are two propane grills for the quest to used. Next to the grills were chairs and tables to sit and eat your food, further down was a hot tub, next to it is a building with restrooms, sauna and showers. Glancing over at the pool he notice there was two of them, one for the adults the other for the kids to swim in. The rest of the pool area had chairs, loungers and tables spread around the pools, looking back at the pool he thought back to when he taught Sam how to swim. A sad smile forum on his face when that memory came to mind, back then Sam looked to Dean as his hero and protector. Blinking back the tears he had to get himself together before he met up with Jackson, as he got up to leave he felt like he was being watch the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Carefully he looked around before he headed out of the gate leading back to the motel, checking the area around the pool to see if anyone was watching him. Seeing no-one in sight he headed back inside to wait for Jackson to call, as he entered the building a presence watch from the shadows of the trees.

Stepping back into his room he sat on the bed by the door, checking his phone again to see if there was a call. He was beginning to wonder if Jackson was going to call him about Sam, setting the phone on the bed next to him he sat there and wait. Placing his elbows on his thighs with his hands out in front of him, glancing to Sam's bag laying at the foot of the bed like he place it there. He didn't even remember grabbing it from the trunk yesterday, it was just a habit he had to always grab the bags before coming into the room. Normally he would grab his and the weapons bag, while Sam grab his and the lap top, before coming into the room. Before his mind could go any further in the whole bag thing he heard his phone going off, grabbing it off the bed he flip it open to see Jackson name on the screen. Feeling relief that he's finally getting the call he's been waiting for about his brother, he's hoping it's to say that he can come over to see his Sammy.

"Jackson, how is Sammy? When can I come over to see him?"

 _"Good morning to you Dean, did you get a good night sleep"_

"Sorry Jackson good morning to you to, yes I did get a good night sleep."

 _"Did you eat breakfast? Dean, please tell me you have had breakfast?"_

"Yes Jackson, I ate and I at all that was on my plate, so please stop with the twenty questions-dad!"

Dean could hear the worry tone in his friend voice when he was asking the questions, just as Jackson was hearing the annoying frustrating tone in Dean's.

 _"Don't be a smart ass with me young man, I just want to make sure you are taking care of yourself. I check up on Sam this morning and he's holding his own so far, I would like you to come over this afternoon so we can talk."_

"I thought we talked yesterday Jackson, why do we have to talk again?, what's going on with Sammy that you are not telling me?"

 _"There's nothing going on with your brother, Dean he's the same as he was yesterday, there's been no improvement or set backs which is a good thing in his condition. I just want to go over some things with you before you see your brother, come to the hospital at 12:30 we'll have lunch and talk. Don't even tell me your not hungry either cause you are going to eat."_

"Yes Dad, I will be there by 12:30 and eat everything off my plate like a good boy." Dean said sarcastically.

 _"Dean, Bobby is right you are a pain in the ass young man, the hospital is General Memorial it's off of I-65 going East. The road you need to get off on is Memorial Highway it will be the fourth exit, when you get to the stop light head north, the hospital will be two miles from the freeway on your left hand side."_

"I got the directions written down will be there by 12:30 or earlier, where would I find you at once I arrive there."

 _"I'll meet you at the front entrance lobby then we'll go have lunch across the street, then we'll come back here and talk in my office-there's some things we need to talk about Dean. Don't push me or you won't see Sam at all."_

Jackson stop Dean before he could argue with him about Sam, he had to make sure there's no anger or hate before he sees Sam.

Hanging up with his friend Dean felt a little angered towards Jackson at the moment, he just wants to see his brother already not having a talk. He can understand his friend decision on how things are going between them at the moment, that don't mean he don't have to like this cat and mouse chase he's doing. Looking at the clock on the nightstand he saw it was time to leave the room, grabbing his wallet and keys he headed out the door. Getting into the Impala he drove to I-65 turning to head east towards the hospital, seeing how lite the traffic was he kept a close eye for the road he needed. Moving over when he saw General Memorial Highway was one mile down the road, coming to the turn off he stopped at the light making sure he's in the right lane. Turning north he followed Jackson directions to a tee making sure he stayed in the left lane, seeing the building he needed he got into the turning lane. When the light turned green he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital being careful with the people and other cars, finding a parking space as close as he could to the main entrance of the building. Getting out of the car he saw that Jackson was waiting for him on a bench, heading towards his friend he couldn't stop the feeling he had in his gut. Following his friend to the diner they sat down in the booth seat, putting their order in Jackson looked Dean over carefully making sure he's okay. He could see that the older brother was glaring at him with no heat in his eyes, smirking at him he turned to see the waitress coming with their food. Eating in silence since Jackson didn't want to talk about Sam here, he rather wait until he got back to his office before he said anything. Dean could tell that his friend was waiting until they got back to talk, he had a hard time shallowly his food with the lump in his throat.

Walking back to his office he had Dean sit in front of his desk while he sat behind, seeing that Dean wanted answers he was going to tell his friend something.

"Before I let you in the room with Sam you need to make sure the anger is gone Dean, even with my patient being under a heavy sedative he could still feel your vibes. He don't need the anger right now and I can still see you still have some, I know that look my friend have seen it many of times in the past."

"I do have some anger towards Sammy. I'm trying to keep it down I swear Jackson, most of my anger is at Castiel well almost all of it now. I promise I won't show any of it to my brother you have my word, I have to let him know he's not alone that I'm here for him."

"Even the anger you have with Castiel that needs to be gone to Dean, shoved that down so deep that it won't come out while your with Sam. He needs to know that he's not along in this fight to live, last time I check on him he's not doing good my friend he's giving up."

"Jackson please let me go see Sam I can get through to him I always have, no matter how anger we are at each other I could always get him back. I know that we are not our best as brother at the moment, which got us to this place, I do know that I can get through to him no matter how we are. Please give me a chance to get my brother back to me Jackson."

"I'm going to let you see Sam for a short time Dean-I have to do what's best for him as a patient, he's so weak that a little of stress will be bad for him. That is why I'm telling you as a brother to another brother to leave the anger; hate, mistrust and betrayal at the door don't bring it in. Sam needs to fight if he's going to recover from all the hurt Dean, believe me when I saw that no-one can hurt a brother like a brother."

Dean sat there looking at Jackson he could tell there's something that he's not saying, he has a feeling that it has to do with Jefferson since he said brother. He's not going to bring it up until Jackson does he's going to move on, he has to go see his Sammy he needs his little brother.

"I understand Jackson when we leave this room my anger is gone won't show it at all, I need to be there for my brother even if it's a short time. Just let me talk to him get him to fight this battle and hurt I cause, I know a brother can only hurt a brother so bad."

Jackson was glad that Dean didn't asked him what he meant on the brother thing, he could tell that he was going to argue about being with Sam a short time. As his doctor he had to do what's best for Sam not Dean, making his decision he got up from his chair waiting for Dean to do the same thing. Walking out the door he headed down the hall to the elevators getting in he pushed the third floor, stepping out he lead Dean down the hall to the ICU where Sam is at. Pushing the doors open he headed to Sam's room the third door to the left, stopping in front of the door he turned to Dean to prepare him.

"I'm going to prepare you for what you are about to see Dean when you walked in, Sam is hooked up to three machines and a chest tube so be ready to be shock."

Seeing a nod he slowly open the door keeping a good eye on the older brother, leading him into the room he stepped aside to let Dean see his brother. Thankfully he was standing close to his friend when his knees went out from him, leading him to the chair he looked him over making sure he don't have a panic attack. Watching him carefully he let Dean tell him he was okay before he left the room, hearing I'm alright is when he stood up and walked out the door.

Stepping into the room with Jackson Dean tried to prepared himself for what he's about to see, when he set eyes on his brother he couldn't stop his noodle knees giving out. Feeling hands on him leading him to the chair next to the bed, he couldn't keep his eyes off of his little brother lying there. Hearing Jackson talking to him he calm himself down the best he could, letting him know he's okay before he left the room. Watching him leave closing the door behind him he turned back to Sam, looking him over he couldn't stop the tears at the sight before him. His brother look so small if that is even possible laying in the bed, taking in all the bruises, cuts, burns that liter his body. Starting from his head he took an inventory of his injuries he had, his heart sank deeper as he kept going over all of them. When he got to Sam's legs he saw that he had a brace on his left knee frowning he noes why, he remember Sam limping when he walked up to him at the motel parking lot. He don't remember Jackson saying anything about Sam's knee, he'll asked when he sees the man again to see what's wrong. Taking in all the tubes and wires that were coming from all sides of his brother, he didn't know where to touch him that wouldn't cause him any pain. Looking back at his face he cringe to see the tube in his throat, knowing that was the only thing keeping his brother alive at the moment. When he looked at his close eyes his heart sank even deeper, the last time he looked into his eyes he saw emptiness there was not spark in them. Trying to hold back a sob he felt rising in his chest he couldn't stop the tears, he tried to talked to his brother when he open his mouth the sob came out along with the tears. Through his sorrow he could only say on thing to his brother in between the cries and tears, he couldn't stop once when he started he leaned into Sam's chest crying so hard. He could only get two words out before the waterfall came, the words had so much anguish and lost in them that it would break any ones heart to hear them.

"Sammy, Please!"


	10. Chapter 10

Dean wasn't sure how long he's been lying on Sam's chest crying, pleading for his brother to fight, not to give up and leave him alone. He couldn't stop the tears once when they started to fall down his cheeks, the heaviness in his chest made it hard for him to breath, as all the things he said to his brother came flooding back. At the time he was to anger to see the pain he was causing his brother, the hurt and loneliness in his eyes, the defeated posture when Dean would throw angry words his way. He wanted his brother to feel the pain he was in finding out Sam never looked for him, while he was rotten and fighting in Purgatory with Benny and Castiel. Telling Sam that Benny is a better brother then he has ever been, that he never not once betrayed him letting him down like Sam always has.

He couldn't stop himself once when the words came out of his mouth on how he was feeling, the burned of hatred was so hot like a forest fire burning out of control. The fire would engulf what ever was in the way as it burned, destroying what's in its path leaving nothing but destruction behind it. It was the way Dean was feeling every time he saw Sam everyone of his failure burned bright, when he was done there was nothing left but chard remains of a brother's love. He had to emit to himself that he did feel hatred towards Sam, the kind that burned so deep that it pushed the love aside for a short time. After the burning subsided it was left with nothing but emptiness no feelings were there, he was up to the point that he just did not care if he hurt Sam he didn't feel a thing.

Now here he is crying like a freaking five year old who got his candy taken away, wanting it back to enjoy the sweetness of it. In a way Sam is his candy his sweet little brother who always followed him, wanted to be like him, was his hero that could rope the moon. All that has been torn away from his angered, hurt, betrayal he couldn't let it go, now the only thing he wants is to have it back in his life. Now here he is feeling guilty as hell for what he put his brother through with his words and actions, now he knows that loneliness Sam has been feeling for months now wanting his brother's love.

There's was so much he wanted to say to his brother if only he could get the lump out of his throat, that feels like it's choking him making it hard to swallow or talk. On top of that he couldn't stop the sobs coming from his chest, or the ache that settle in his heart from all the hurt he cause Sam. He laid there crying on his brother's chest, clinging to him like he's his lifeline, not wanting to let him go in fear of loosing him. He didn't have the strength to sit up just yet, didn't want to let go on the connection he has on Sam, if he did move it might be the last time he would feel his warm body and heart beat.

~~~SPN~~~

 _As Sam walked down the path with his father neither one said a word the quietness he enjoyed, looking to his left he saw the river trickling away happily like it didn't have a care in the world. He wish he could be like that not carrying about nothing in general, just floating away on the water letting the wind take him to some place safe. Some place were he can go to be on his own with no-one telling him what to do, a place were he can have his own space to do what he wants when he wants. For him there's no place like that for him to go to anymore, everything he has every done is ruin what he loves, cares for, protect what was his. All of that is gone cause he was born into a world that don't care about him, a world he always thought would be there to help, care, love, protects him that's all gone. Getting himself way from that thought he set his sight over to his right to see a sea of flowers, all different colors resembling a rainbow in rays of bright colorful blooms. As far as the eyes can see it was of all flowers blowing in the wind, further away he saw mountains with snowcapped peaks against the clear blue sky. This is a place he could live the rest of his life and be happy and piece full with no cares in the world, a place he don't have to feel the pain or anger of a older brother who don't care for him._

 _When he thought of his brother he felt a sharp pain go through his heart at the love he lost, he felt so empty like a bottomless pit that can't be filled. The more he thought of Dean he started to become angry towards him, how is it okay for Dean to bring up all his failure, but it's not okay for Sam to bring up his. Or how Dean would talk down to him like he is a freaking five year old that got in trouble, for putting his hands in the cookie jar that he shouldn't have. He could feel the dark cloud over his head when he thought all the hurtful things Dean said to him, just because he didn't look for him, or how he took Ruby's side instead of his. The more he thought about it the angrier he got at all the crap Dean has done to him, he's done feeling like a sore spot in Dean's side or a piece of trash to be thrown away. Dean can just go screw himself with his high and mighty attitude he been having, let him go with his new brother Benny on hunts see how far that will get him. Being so lost in his dark and angry mind towards his brother he didn't hear his dad, until he felt a hand on his chin turning so he could see his father face. Seeing the concern look in his eyes angered him knowing it's not even true, he's dad never really cared about Sam like he did with Dean. He was going to asked his dad why he is even here with him, someone who he wanted to be killed if he turned dark so why care now._

 _No longer facing his dad, he pushed his hands off of him giving him space, stepping a few steps back he looked angrily at his father who prepared himself._

 _"Dad, why are you even here shouldn't you be with Dean? He's the one you care about the most, the one who was your good little soldier, why are you here Dad?"_

 _John was taken back by Sam's venom words he throws at him in anger, normally he wouldn't take that kind of attitude from either of his sons. This time it's different he's not the man he used to be when he was alive, he seen the hardships his youngest went through wishing he was there to help him through them. Standing tall he looked right at his son with no anger in his posture or voice, he only had love and compassion for his youngest._

 _"Sam, I'm here to show you the way back home to your brother, you two were meant to be with each other. Not as soldiers, hunters, warriors but as brothers who care about each other, to have each others backs when no one else would be there to help. You and Dean are the only ones left of the Winchester family, no matter how mad you two get with each other you're still brothers."_

 _"Don't you get it dad he don't want me as a brother he never did, he only cared about me cause you knocked it in his head. Always telling him to take care of Sammy keep him safe from harm, you drilled that in his head since he was four years old. He only does it cause it so ingrained in him to have me next to him, when in real he never wanted me to begin with so he could do what he wanted."_

 _"He has a brother who never let him down dad not once, what have I ever done to him let him down time after time. Always wanted things my way so I can do what I wanted and not him, I can see why he wish that I was never been born he would have had a happy family."_

 _"Sam, if that is what you think after all these years you are wrong son, Dean loves you with his whole heart and soul son. He does not do those things cause I told him to when it came to you Sam; he's been doing that since we brought you home from the hospital. He took it upon himself to be your protector, guardian, teacher he did all on his own, me or your mother didn't tell him none of that son he did it on his own."_

 _"As soon as your mom place you gently into his arms for the first time coming home, he wouldn't let us take care of you for the first two hours. He sat on the couch holding you tight to his chest with his arms protectively around you, talking to you in a soft low tone that we couldn't hear what he was saying. You my son had your little fist wrapped around your brother's pinky, you didn't let go even when your mom try to lift you out of his arms. She had to gently loosing you fist from your brother who was yelling at her, thinking she was hurting you when you started to cry. It was his feeding time she had the bottle in her hand to give you; Dean took the bottle from her so he can feed you. Does that sound like a brother who's being a good soldier Sam, ever since that day your brother has been by your side protecting you."_

 _"When Mary let Dean feed you the bottle all by himself you held onto him every time, having your little fist in his shirt the whole time he fed you. As you grew up Dean was always there being by your side no matter what it was, your first step was to him, your first word was De. I was hurt it wasn't dada like it was with Dean when he started to talk; I was home one night you got up and started to walk. I put my arms out for you to come to me I was so proud, you turned towards your brother who was waiting for you with open arms. I would lie if I said I wasn't hurt by that cause I was it cut me deep, it was my fault since I wasn't there for you two Dean was your world like you are his world."_

 _"Well dad things do change don't they now Dean has a new brother he don't need me, so please stop taking his side acting like he loves me he don't. I don't want to go back to all that pain, anger, failure that I have been around, I can't do it anymore so please leave me alone get away from me."_

 _As Sam turned to step away from his dad he felt his hand grabbing his arm, pulling it away hard he kept on walking further away from his father. He had to get as much distance away from the man right at that moment, he didn't want to hear anymore lies about Dean loving him when he don't. As he walked down the path his head was looking down at the ground, when he looked back up he almost ran into Pastor Jim who was waiting for him._

 _Stun to see is old friend standing in front of him he looked behind to see his father was still there, seeing nothing but meadow and sky he breath a sigh of relief to be away from the man. Turning to his old friend he looked at him leery wondering what he was doing here, not wanting to talk about Dean anymore he turned away from him. Feeling a hand gently on his arm he stop from moving away from him, turning back around he saw sadness in his brown eyes that he never saw before. Before he could say anything Jim spoke first telling him why he was here._

 _"Samuel, I was brought here by your friend Castiel who is worried about you, he said that you are not fighting to come back to him."_

 _"Pastor Jim it's not Castiel or Garth I don't want to go back to it's Dean, I can't go back to all that hate, anger, failure can't do it anymore."_

 _"Son, come with me, we need to talk."_

 _Hearing a huff he knows so well when it comes to the youngest Winchester, he lead him down the path until they came to a bench. Motioning for him to sit he waited until his friend sat down before he did, looking over the water he saw how beautiful it is clear blue like the sky above. Turning to Sam he took a deep breath before he said anything, he knew if he said one wrong word he could loose the boy._

 _"Samuel, I heard what happen between you and your brother from what Castiel has told me, you and your brother don't do anything in halves it's always in wholes. Especially when it comes to hurting each other with words or actions, Dean really knows how to hurt you with his words they cut deep in side. I have seen it many of times son and I know how much it hurts to hear them, he just like your dad shot first asked questions later then the damage is done. With you being hurt and heart broken by the out come of the anger and words, you always go into your own little world to get away from the pain they cause."_

 _"Then Dean calms down and regrets what he has said to you in his anger, he always apologies for what he said or done you always forgives him. I could never understood how forgiving you could always be when it comes to Dean, he talks to you saying he's sorry for his actions that cause you pain. There are times it took you awhile to forgive him and it drove him crazy when you did, he walked on eggshells until you finally gave in to the apology. I know this time it's different on what happen between the two of you, all the things Dean said his actions towards you took their toll on you son."_

 _"You are right Pastor Jim when we were younger I always forgave him for what he did, this time it's different he's not the brother I know and love. He's to angry at me for all my mistakes I have ever made to him, he can't trust me anymore he hates the fact that I was ever been born. I can't take it seeing the hate, anger, disgust he has to me, wish those hunters would have killed me instead of bringing me back to Dean."_

 _"When I laid there on the ground waiting for the end to come to take me out of his world, he told me some things that I knew were lies to keep me there. Once when I was healed he would just leave my sorry ass behind, go off with his real brother Benny to live his life free of worthless me. Dean don't love me anymore he hates me, let me go so I can be in peace away from the hurt."_

 _"Son, your brother could never hate you no matter what you think of lately, yes he is anger with you for what happen a year ago. He's hurting just like you were hurting when he disappeared from your life, you wanted to end it then why didn't you cause of the girl and dog. There had to be something else from keeping you to end your life, that is the one thing you need right now to fight your way back to your friends."_

 _"Jim, the reason why I didn't try to kill myself like I wanted to was cause of Amelia, she has help me through most of the pain I was in. I had to live my life knowing back then it was something Dean would wanted me to do, if I gave up he would come back and kick my ass if I killed myself. That is the only reason why I didn't kill myself Jim back then, now everything is different between me and Dean what's there to go back to."_

 _"Samuel, there's something I want you to see before you make up your mind, looked into the water, just look into the water please. You will see why you need to keep fighting for yourself and your friends, even for Dean, just look Samuel."_

 _Sam glance at the water to where Jim was pointing at he only saw clear blue water at first, when Jim ripple the water he saw Dean laying on his chest crying. He was shock to see his brother cry like that for someone he hated, the way he clung onto his shirt with a death grip with his knuckles turning white. He couldn't keep his eyes off the water as he watch Dean's whole body shake with tears, in between the sobs he could hear him saying 'Please Sammy don't go' then another round of sobs. Turning to his friend he looked at him with caution in his eyes, he wanted to know if this was real or some kind of illusion._

 _"Pastor Jim, is this some kind of trick to make me go back to Dean, if so it's not working he won't cry like that for me."_

 _"Samuel, this is no trick son I wouldn't do that to you in any way to get you to go back, this is what's happening now in your hospital room. When was the last time you seen your brother cry like that I mean really cry like that, I have seen Dean cry but not with that much sadness or sorrow."_

 _"I haven't seen him cry in along time not since he told me about what he did in hell, even then it was only a few tears he shed that was it."_

 _"From what I see Samuel right now with your brother crying like this, he knows what he has done to you it's breaking him apart. He knows he's done you wrong in the worse possible way Sam-listen he's going to say something to you I want you to listen to him."_

 _Pastor Jim did his best impression of John to make Sam listen to what Dean is about to say to him._

~~~SPN~~~

Lifting himself up from his brother's chest Dean took deep breaths to calm his frazzle nerves, he wasn't sure how long he laid there crying on Sam's chest. With his shirt soak with his tears it when he realize how hard he was actually crying, blinking the tears from his eyes to clear his blurry vision he wanted to look at Sam. Seeing that wasn't working like he wanted it to he force himself to let go of his brother, wiping the tears from his eyes and face with his sleeve he laid his hand back down. As he tried to calm himself down enough so he could get words out, he slowly rub his brother's chest in a comforting way. He wasn't sure if he was doing it for himself to calm himself down by his brother by him, or for Sam to let him know he wasn't alone in this fight for his life. Finally when the lump disappeared from his throat taking another deep breath to calm his fears, he looked at his brother's face wishing his eyes were open for this.

"Sammy, I know saying sorry won't fix the mess I made with my words and actions for being a dick less ass, I have myself to blame for this canyon that is between us at the moment. I know my words have hurt you little brother cause I saw the hurt, at the time I didn't care one bit for doing it kept it up just to make you feel like dirt. I was so anger with you for letting me rot in Purgatory, moving on with your life like I didn't matter to you anymore. I couldn't stop the words once they came out all the anger, hurt, betrayals all came up, once when the dam broke all the hurtful words came running out. It felt good to see the hurt I did to you for causing all the hurt you did me, I wanted you to feel like I didn't care about you or even love you. I had a fire in me that kept on burning like a forest fire out of control, the hotter it burned the more hurtful words came out to hurt you worse then I was hurting."

"I know telling you that Benny is a better brother then you ever have been, or that Castiel was a better partner would crushed your soul. They have never let me down unlike you have done in the past or present, they had my back when I needed someone to fight or help me when I needed it. Leaving you behind as a toss shoe that was no longer useful, only to be there to look for hunts or run for food like a freakin' slave. I could see how it brought you down every time I went out on a hunt with them, or talked about a plan on how to do the hunt without listening to you. Then when the hunt goes south I came back piss off as hell, lite into you for not telling us the wrong info when it was me that didn't listen. Even go as far as hitting or pushing you around to release some of the tension I felt, not carrying if I hurt you in any way or forum Sam."

"When you tried to talk to me before you attack Benny in the room I shut you down big time, didn't want to hear the lies on what happen while I was gone from your life. Said some things that weren't true Sammy cause I knew how much it would hurt you, seeing the pain, loneliness and fear in your eyes made me feel good. Knowing just what to say to make you feel worthless and a failure in my eyes, just like dad has always done to you when we were younger training with him."

"I have to emit Sam that I did hate you for just a second in the room when that fire was burning inside of me, I knew you saw it cause I saw that look in your eyes before they welled up. Just know it's not the hate you think it was little brother, yes I hated that you went on with your life without me in it anymore. I don't hate you no matter how hard I tried to I really did try Sammy I did, the pull wasn't strong enough for me to hold onto it no matter how angry I was. You are my brother no matter what I have said to you in my rant, you will always be my little brother no matter how mad I get with you."

"The other thing I said to you about not making that deal that was a lie Sam, I couldn't live without you then, like I can't live without you now. I won't make it a day without you in my life you of all people should know that, would end up killing myself cause I don't have my brother by my side. Can't do this kind of work without you in it, I need someone to watch my back when I do stupid things while we hunt. Need my geek brother to figure things out before we head out for a job, or to tell me when I'm being stupid or annoying like you always do."

"There's one thing I wish I could take back on what I said to you in my anger, knowing how much it would tear you apart to hear me say it. You screwed up my life by simply being born destroyed the family I once had, we would've been better off if you never been in our lives. That is not true at all Sammy we would have never been a family until you were born, once when mom brought you home I knew our family was complete. I had the one thing I always have wanted that all the other kids had, was a younger sibling to call my own especially a little brother that I prayed for. When I heard when mom was going to have a baby, I told her she better have a boy I didn't want a girl they were gross. She didn't like me saying that about little girls cause she wanted one, even went as far saying to her if she had a girl bring it back for a boy. What can I say I wanted little brother not a sister to follow me around, when she brought you home I was the happiest, proudest big brother around."

"I would always wanted to hold you thinking mom and dad wasn't doing it right, you would always cry in their arms that made me mad when I heard that. Stormed up to them demanding that I hold you cause they were hurting you, once when they put you in my arms you stop crying just like that. Mom always said that I had the big brother power spell when it came to you, no matter how hard they tried to comfort you it didn't work, once when I held you all was quiet and calm. Even at night when they put us to bed in separate rooms, I didn't like that at first wanted you to be with me in my bed. Mom or dad had to take me out of your crib almost every night, finally mom told me you will be safe that Angels were watching over you. After that I slept in my bed once when I woke up the first place I went was your room, had to make sure you were okay before mom came and got you."

"After mom died in the fire we were staying at a family member house for a few weeks, they would put us to sleep in different rooms I didn't like that. Once when they left I would get out of bed go to your room, climb in the crib holding you close to my chest with my arms wrapped around you. When they found me in there they tried to get me to leave, I wouldn't do it told them to leave us alone or I'll tell daddy. Dad told them to leave us be, it's okay if I stay in the crib with you at night, you miss mom and would cry all the time until I came to hold you. I swore to you that I would never leave you alone will always protect you, boy did I break that promise I made those years ago to you."

"Sammy you need to fight to come back so I can make things right between us again, if you die cause of me I wouldn't make it a day without you. Knowing that you left this world cause of my careless actions and words would break me, I don't think I would be able to live with myself knowing you died thinking I hated you. Please Sammy fight to come back if not for me then for Castiel and Garth, I could live knowing you are still around even if we are not together anymore. If you leave I will loose myself in darkness until it destroys me one way or another, without you I have nothing to live for in this life without a little brother."

During his speech to his unconscious brother Dean hope that Sam would let him know he was fighting, through the whole thing he laid so still it scared the older brother to no end. He was not getting through to his Sammy, was going to loose him for his own stupid ego being bruised. With a heavy heart he knew it was almost time for him to leave his brother's side, he feared next time he comes in Sam could be dead. He wasn't sure if he could live with himself knowing Sammy died being alone, he had to get that thought out of his head before he walked out the door. Hearing the door open he saw Jackson stepping into the room, knowing it was his time to leave he lowered himself so he could whisper to his brother.

"Sammy, please don't die on me little brother I have to make things right between us, please fight to come back to me please Sammy I'm begging you. Please Sammy."

Feeling more tears running down his cheeks he force himself to leave his brother's side, the knots in his stomach tighten when he walked out the door. He couldn't get the fear of loosing his brother out of his heart, as he walked down the hall he prayed that Sam will be alive when he comes back in the morning.

~~~SPN~~~

 _Sam sat on the bench listening to everything his brother was saying to him in the room, he couldn't believe if any of this was true or was it some kind of vision they wanted him to see. He knew Pastor Jim wouldn't lie to him like his father would lie; it could be a way for Dean to get him back just to leave him behind. He did listen with an open mind on what his brother was telling him about everything, what surprise him was when Dean told him that he loved him. How could he love a brother he hated so much for ruining his life, can he believe that Dean does love him like he says he does. Can he really go back to see the Dean he knows and loves before all this crap happen, can he even have hope that they can be brothers again._

 _His heart broke when he heard Dean said he did hate him even if it was for a short time, so he wasn't imagining seeing the hate in his eyes after he was hit. To hear him say that he really did try to hate him when he was so angry did little to comfort him when his brother said he couldn't do it no matter what. Hearing Dean saying he didn't screwed up his life by being born, that he always wanted a little brother to hang around with. When he talked about all the things he did when Sam was a baby made the younger brother smile, sounded like his brother to say things like that to mom, dad and family members. With a heaviness in his heart he wish what his brother said is true, with all the fighting, hurtful words thrown at him it's hard to believe in hope._

 _When his brother was talking he kept a close eye on his face and eyes to see if there was any truth, instead he saw pain, loneliness, self loathing, even some hate towards himself. Even Dean's voice sounded off to Sam from what he is used to hearing, it was low, raspy full of regret something he hasn't heard in a long time. The look on his brother's face was blank there was no emotions at all he could see, he looked like he hasn't slept in weeks ran himself ragged. This looks like the big brother that worried about Sam when he was sick, the brother who would be there for him when he needed comfort and love. He misses that big brother that would do anything for him out of love, not this cold stone hatred of a brother he has now._

 _Leaning back he took a deep breath to collect his thoughts on what he just saw, his vision blurred from unshed tears he tried to blink away before they ran down his cheeks. Having a lot to think about he turned to his friend sitting next to him, there were still things that he just can't get over this quick. He still needed time to think on what he wanted to do; he feels so lost and alone even having his friend next to him he was still alone._

 _"Samuel, I can see all the emotions you are going through right now at what you just saw, the truth is what you just heard I would never trick you to go back. This was something you had to hear for yourself on how Dean is feeling, not trying to make you feel like you have to be force back to your brother. What you heard from him is how he is feeling at the moment on what he has done to you, it's up to you to open your heart to let him back in, or close him off for good."_

 _"I wish what I heard was the truth Pastor Jim but I do have my doubts on it, he would never change his mind this quick being so anger. The last four months have been hell for me with his bad tempers, mood swings,hurtful words being thrown at me, just because he's piss at me. I can't take it anymore just want to get away from all that pain, before the Vampire and Hunters got me I was going to walk out of Dean's life. Grab my bags and go some place where no-one knows me, a place he can't find me if he even wanted to, some place safe."_

 _"Sam, I'm not trying to push you to go back to your brother son, wanted you to see how Dean is feeling at the moment. I know you have your doubts on what he said or is asking for you to do, you are the only one who can make that choice. We can sit here as long as you like it's peaceful here Samuel almost like heaven, if you don't mind me staying here with you while you decide."_

 _"Pastor Jim you are the only one besides Bobby never talk down, belittle me like Dean and dad has, you two always made me feel special and important. I would like you to stay with me while I make up my mind on what I want to do, I need someone who loves me for who I am please stay."_

 _Jim heard the words loud and clear on what Sam really meant, right now he needed someone to care, protect, love,comfort him right now. It's all the things he has done in the past when he was younger, now he'll give the young man that now since he asked him._

~~~SPN~~~

Walking out of the hospital Dean looked around for a place to sit so he could think, seeing there were only a handful of benches with people already sitting in them. He needed some alone time not being around all these people who looked to happy for his liking, getting into the Impala he sat for a moment to think were he wanted to go. Not being in the mood to go back to the hotel he saw a nurse walking past the car, getting her attention he ask if there was a park or lake near by he can go to. Getting the information of a lake with a small park just down the street from the building, pulling out of the parking lot his heart felt heavy leaving his brother alone. He knew Jackson would take good care of Sam he was sure of it, just leaving him without him being there is what's bothering the older brother.

Every since Sam was little and hurt he was always next to him giving him comfort, letting him know that he's safe while big brother was around. Now he has to let someone else take over that job for his own stupidity, he knew Jackson was doing what he thought is right even though it goes against Dean's big brother instinct. Being lost in his thoughts he almost miss the turned for the park he was looking for, pulling into the parking lot he notice it wasn't that busy this late in the day. For that he was thankful he didn't want to be around a lot of people, getting out of the car he walked to the bench closes to the lake. Looking around he saw a small family on the opposite side of the park from him, there were four of them the dad, mom and two boys playing in the water. Every so often the dad would get out to check on the food he was cooking, the grill was between the picnic table and lake giving the dad time to play with his kids. As he watches them play as a family brought back memories of his own on his dad and brother, all three of them went to a lake for some fun in the sun which was a rare day. That day they had so much fun swimming in the lake well at least him and his dad were, Sam was still learning how to swim under the protective eye of his big brother. Dean wouldn't let Sam go in to deep just yet in fear of him drowning, with their dad help they taught Sam how to swim on his first try. After a few times of letting the youngest swim a little away from them as he showed them he could do it, Dean couldn't get the smile off his face seeing the excitement on his brother's face. While they played in the water his dad got out to start to cook for lunch, bringing hamburgers, buns, potato salad, mustard, ketchup, chips and drinks even pie for dessert. Getting the boys to the table John had the dry off before they sat down to eat, after they ate their meal they play ball for an hour before they got back in. Hearing a happy squeal brought Dean out of his thoughts as he looked over at the family, the father was tossing his boys into water as the mother looked on happily. Taking a deep sigh shaking his head to clear his mind he looked over at the lake, it was so peaceful here this was something he needed to collect his thoughts. Hearing the parents calling their kids so they could leave for the day, Dean had to smile when the kids groan that they had to leave to go home. Now he was by himself with no-one to bother him while he could think, glancing at the water it was so still you would think it was a sheet of glass. Smirking at himself thinking he could walk across the lake since it look like glass or ice, knowing that it's just the way the water is right now he couldn't help but think it.

Hearing movement behind him he took a sharp deep breath of annoyance, he knew who it was by the sound of his steps and his trench coat. Turning around he saw Castiel standing right behind him with an anger look on his face, Dean couldn't keep the death glare out of his eyes when he saw his ex friend standing there. Getting up he stood his ground to the Angel daring him to make the first move he so wanted him to, instead the man stood there for a long minute or two before he step closer to Dean. The hunter got himself ready just in case Castiel makes a move on him he would be ready, instead he stop just in front of the man standing tall at the shoulders. He could tell that the Angel wanted to tell him something most likely telling him to leave, but what came out was something Dean didn't expect which caught him off guard.

"Dean, right now I have someone talking to Sam-"

"What! What do you mean you have someone talking to Sam?"

"I said I have someone talking to Sam to get him to fight to come back, your dad tried to talk to him which didn't work. He can be a bit of a-I don't know a jackass-if that is what you call him sometimes."

"Why was my dad even talking to Sam Cas? They both have never gotten alone, never listen to each other so why do you have him talking to Sammy?"

"He wasn't the one who is to talk to my friend Sam he just showed up on his own, there's someone else talking to him now someone Sam can trust. He's a good friend that always stood up for your brother when you and your dad shot him down, giving him the comfort and love he needed instead of the hurtful words from the both of you."

"Fuck you Cas, I always gave Sam the comfort he needed when we were younger, yes I might have taken my dad side on hunts to make sure we were safe. I always put Sam first before each hunt, got in between my dad and him, making sure he was safe by my side so screw you asshole."

"That was when you were younger Dean this is now that you shot your brother down to many times, making him think he's not good enough as a hunter, partner or brother to be around. At the moment he does not want to come back here, Dean, no thanks to you, he thinks it will be better off without him being around any of us. I hope you are happy now Dean."

"Shut the hell up Cas I know what I did to him don't need any reminders from you, wasn't you who wanted to destroy Sam the first time you met him. You and Uriel wanted to kill him thinking he was an abomination do to the Demon blood that he got from Azazel and from drinking from Ruby thinking he would go dark. I saw the way you looked at my brother every time you were around him, to afraid to be near him thinking he would taint you just by his touch. Even when you wanted to talk to me about your plans you never wanted Sam around, always finding a way to get rid of my brother so you can tell me your little plans. Even letting him out of the panic room at Bobby's so he can kill Lilith to set Lucifer free, setting off the apocalypse to end the world, as we know it so you angels can have your war. Even when he sacrifice himself to stop the end of man kind by jumping into the pit with Lucifer, you still acting like he wasn't good enough for you or the rest of the Angels."

"Even brought him back from the pit without a soul, not letting me know he was even top side, for a freakin' year while I struggle with my decision to let it happen. Then you take down the wall Death put up so he didn't remember his time down under, having images of Lucifer attacking him day and night as I watch my brother go crazy cause of you. So you are going to stand there putting the blame on me for my own mistakes, when your mistakes were a lot bigger that hurt and damage Sammy when all I could do is watch it happen. So if you want to play the blame game play it some where else Cas not with me, so please take your feathery ass and get the fuck out of mine and my brother's life."

"I regret all the things I put my friend through Dean all of the damage I did to him, we became friends almost like brothers through the years. I have protected your and Sam from a lot of evil and Angels that are out there, ones who still want Sam to suffer for what he did or didn't do a few years back. I wasn't the one who told him he didn't have a brother, or wish he was never been born that was you Dean."

"Cas, I swear if you bring any of that back up again I will stab you in the heart with the Angel blade, I'm dealing with the mistakes I made the last four months don't need you bringing them up. Why are you telling me that someone is talking to Sammy, if you are not going to tell me who it is."

"Like I said Dean, it's a friend of Sam's who has never let him down, always gave him the support he needs, giving him the love and comfort through his words and actions. If you don't know who it is now then you never really knew him at all, he's the one person Sam could always turned to in his time of need."

"Cas I'm tired of your riddles. I don't have time for-hold on."

Dean stop his rant when his phone started to ring, pulling it out of his pocket he saw it was Jackson calling him. His blood went cold when he saw his friends name flash across the screen, fearing the worse he answered the call what he heard made his heart stop right there.

"Jackson, what happen to Sammy?"

"Dean, you need to get back here as fast as you can. Sam is losing his battle to live, get back here now."

"I-I'm coming now just down the road from the hospital, be there in two minutes."

Dean turned his back on the Angel as he ran to the Impala throwing his phone on the seat; the door wasn't close when he pulled out of the parking lot. Driving as fast as he could without getting arrested he arrive back at the hospital under two minutes, turning the car off slamming the door shut he ran into the building. Rushing up to the elevators he didn't stop until he was inside hitting the button he needed, he ignored the dirty looks from the other people who were pushed out of the way. Once when the doors open he pushed past them ran down the hallway, when he came to the doors he didn't stop until he was in Sam's room. Rushing inside he heard the heart monitor flat lining just as he reach the bed, feeling his own heart slammed into his chest he watch as Jackson fought to keep him alive. Moving out of the way when the defibrillator cart came in he watch helplessly as his friend work on his brother, he couldn't keep his eyes off of Sam when the paddles were place on his chest. When Jackson shock Sam his back lifted off the bed before slamming back down, Dean flinch when he watch the doctor shock his brother to restart his heart. Seeing the line still flat Jackson did it again, then a third try to get Sam's heart to beat, seeing no improvement he step back from the bed looking over at Dean. What he saw crush his heart to dust seeing the devastation on his friend face, shaking his head no to him there was nothing else he could do.

Dean stood there in shock when Jackson step away from the bed shaking his head no, his feet were glue to the spot where he stood. When his mind finally caught up with the rest of him he found himself sitting next to Sam, begging his brother to come back to fight for his life. When he got no response he started to pound on Sam's chest, yelling at him to wake and fight for his damn life.

"Damn it Sam you don't get to do this you asshole, fight for your damn life, I said fight Sam you don't get to do this." Dean hit Sam chest hard with his fist. "Come on Sammy I said fight I'm not giving up on you so don't even think about taking the easy way out." He hit Sam's chest harder three times in a row. "Damn you little brother you don't get to do this you son-of-a-bitch."

Dean finally stop yelling and hitting Sam when he felt a sob in his chest, he was loosing his brother there's nothing he could do to stop it. Feeling tears dripping down his face he didn't stop them once they started, feeling his heart shattered he cried in his brother's chest holding his shirt tight in his fists. What made him feel so heavy was that Sam died thinking that he hated him, that broke and hurt Dean more then any pain he felt in his life.

~~~SPN~~~

 _Sam sat on the bench with Pastor Jim feeling content and peaceful then he has been in days, watching as his friend lean down to touch the water he saw Jackson next to him. Smiling sadly at the sight of his friend knowing that he lost his brother, he wonder if Dean would feel anything if he died right then. He watch as the doctor check him over seeing the sadness in his eyes as he did, made Sam feel bad for putting that look in his eyes. Seeing the door open he saw Dean rushing in with a scared look in his eyes, wondering what got his brother so scared he leaned forward to see what would happen. Seeing him flat line and Jackson fighting to bring him back, he saw the look in Dean's eyes he was shock to see the scared look in them. When Jackson step away from the bed shaking his head to Dean with tears in his eyes, Sam waited to see what Dean would do now if he would stay or walked away. What really got Sam surprise is when Dean ran to the bed begging him to fight, pounding on his chest to get his heart to beat again. This confused Sam that his brother who didn't want him would be fighting for him right now, seeing the tears in his eyes and his brother sobbing on his chest made him more confused._

 _Jim watch as the emotions ran across his young friend face as he watch, he could tell that Sam was shock to see how Dean is acting at the moment. If this doesn't convince Sam that Dean wants him in his life nothing will, Jim thought he saw some anger in his eyes for just a second he wasn't sure. He waited until the young man made his choice on what he was going to do, stay here with him or go back to his brother._

 _Seeing Sam getting up as he watch his brother cry on his chest he could see raw emotions in him, when he looked over at his friend he saw signs of tears in his eyes. He waited until the young man said something before he does anything, glancing back at the water watching Dean cry over Sam's death he felt bad for the older brother. He has never seen Dean ever cry like that before as long as he known him that shows him how much he needs his brother hope Sam sees this to. Seeing the blank look on the younger brother face he wasn't sure what he was thinking, getting up he place his hand on his shoulder to get his attention._

 _"Sam what is your decision are you staying here, or are you going back to your brother."_

 _"Jim, there's nothing back there for me to go to, I want to be in peace so can we go please."_

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**In this chapter self harm and suicide will be mention in Sam's Crossroad, please read at your own risk if it brings up bad memories or feeling don't read. Will be posted on the part when it happens, it's in only one paragraph that will be mention in take the warning seriously.**

 _Strolling down the hallway towards the ICU Jackson stop off at the Nurses Station to hand them paperwork, so they could file them under his patients he just saw for check ups. Watching them doing as he asked them to do he headed for the double doors, pulling one of the doors open he headed to Sam's room to check up on the brother's. Dean been with Sam for an hour and a half longer then he told the older brother; he didn't have it in his heart to send the man away in the time frame he had wanted. Seeing the devastated look in his eyes and face he couldn't bring himself to remove his friend yet, he decided to give Dean more time with Sam hopefully he can get through to him. As he walked up to the door he heard Dean talking to Sam, not wanted to invade their privacy, he stood by the door to listen. He had to know how the older brother really felt about the younger one, after what he heard from Dean and still seeing the anger, he needed to know the truth._

 _As he listen to Dean pour his heart out to Sam about everything they been through, it angered him to know his friend still have issues with Sam. Knowing all to well about those bent up feelings he had with Jefferson, when they were at their lowest they never hated each other, yes they were angry but hate, no. To hear his friend said that he tried to hate on Sam made his blood boil, it was one thing he thought would never hear from the older man. The more he listen his heart started to get heavy to hear the raw emotions, by the time Dean was done he felt tears rolling down his checks wiping them away he knock on the door. Opening the door what he saw took his breath away to see Dean so lost and afraid, they way he had a death grip on Sam's shirt to afraid to let go of him. If he did that his brother would slip away if that connection wasn't intact, seeing the fight going on inside the mind of the oldest brother. Jackson was second guessing on letting Dean leave the room breaking that connection, then he remember the hate he's still feeling something Sam didn't need._

 _Watching as Dean walked out of the room he turned one last time to his little brother, before setting his eyes on Jackson who could see the battle ragging inside. Keeping a close eye on what he'll do Jackson waited until Dean left the room, seeing the hunch shoulders, low cast eyes, he walked down the hallway. Walking up to the doorway he looked down the hall as Dean press the button to the elevator, as the doors closed Jackson saw his shoulders shaking as sobs rack his body. Turning to his patient he step inside the room walked across to the bed, taking the clip board in hand he check Sam over to see if anything has change. The one thing that worried him from his last check up is his heart rate and blood pressure, both have gone down in the last three hours that has him concerned greatly. After he check his friend over he pulled a chair next to his bed so he can keep an eye on him, with him already doing his other rounds earlier he had time to spend with Sam. Reaching over he brush hair off his forehead letting his hand linger on his cheek, taking a deep breath there was something he needed to say._

 _"Sam, I know how you are feeling my friend I do, Jefferson and I had a falling out eleven years ago. It was over something so stupid and pity, we were both angry said some hurtful words to each other. We didn't talk to each other for a little over a year, something bad happen to me that brought us back to each other. We've patch up our broken bond became closer then we ever been which I'm glad we did, ten years ago I lost Jefferson to a pack of werewolves he wasn't even hunting them. A few hunters got injured while hunting them in the woods; they called Jeff since he was the closet doctor to where they were. When he got there to look over one of the hunters is when he was attack, they mauled Jeff there wasn't much left of him. I miss him every day Sam wish he was here right now, I want my brother back I know that would be impossible."_

 _"I know you can't hear me my friend wish you could so you know your not alone, just hang in there buddy things will get better I promise they will."_

 _Jackson sat a little longer at Sam's bed side before he had to leave for his rounds, he couldn't get himself to move away from the bed. Taking a deep sigh he lifted himself from the chair taking one more look at Sam before he walk out the door, heading down the hallway he stop off at the Nurses Station to get some lab work he order. As he walked into the room of his patient who was having heart problems, he heard over the intercom code blue in ICU room 4 his blood ran cold. Running out of the room he grabbed his phone out of his pocket, calling Dean telling him to get back over to the hospital now._

 _Rushing back into Sam's room Jackson watch as Janet tried to get his patient heart rate back in rhythm, as he watch the monitor he saw the heart beats were slowing down to one beat per minute. He knew that Sam was going into cardiac arrest he took control of the situation, telling Janet to get five milligrams of Norepinephrine to get his blood pressure up. He wanted to see if the medicine would work before he got the paddles, seeing no change in his heart beat he asked her to get the defibrillator. As she ran out the door Sam flat lined just as Dean ran into the room, Jackson started to do CPR to keep his patient heart beating. When he heard movement he saw Janet bring in the item he needed, putting gel on the paddles he rubbed them together before placing it on Sam's chest. Telling everyone to clear having one paddle on his right then his left side, he shock the man's heart to get it beating again. He waited before he did another shock, then one more to see if he can get a beat, seeing none he back away from the bed. Glancing over at Dean he shook his head letting him know it's not working, he saw so many emotions crossing the older brother's features before he rushed to the bed. Watching him as he hit his brother's chest, then shaking him, hitting his chest again to get any kind of response. As he watch Dean crumble on his friends chest his heart broke to hear the sobs and words, he wanted to go over there to comfort his friend at the lost of his brother._

 _~~SPN~~_

 _Took Jim a few seconds to understand what Sam had said about the scene he watch, taking a step back he was stun to hear what Sam has told him. Looking back at the water his heart broke for the older brother, they way he laid across Sam's chest, his shoulders shaking with the sobs, the death grip he had on his shirt. His heart felt heavy that Sam didn't see how much Dean really cares about him, how broken he is at the lost of his younger brother by his words. He felt a little anger at his friend for being so selfish thinking what's best for him, shaking that thought out of his mind he can't be like John Winchester. Sam has never been selfish like John always thought of him to be, yes he wanted a normal life, go to school, have friends, play sports, that's not being selfish that's being human. With that in mind he have to do something quick to get Sam to see the truth, seeing his friend walking away from the river he followed._

 _As they walked down the path in silence Sam was grateful for it his mind was swirling, what he saw on how Dean reacted to his death puzzle him greatly. Why would he act that way to someone he hated? Why would he try to get him to breath, when he said he wish he was never been born? Why cry over a brother he wishes he never had? All these questions Sam was going over in his mind at everything he just witness, with each question that he thought upon made his heart heavy with sadness. He couldn't go back to all that again it would kill him if he did, seeing the anger, mistrust, failure and mostly hate in Dean's eyes. That was something he can't put himself through anymore all that hurt he felt, it was consuming him like black hole leaving nothing but an empty shell behind._

 _Glancing over to his right he was wondering what Jim must be thinking of him right about now, was he being selfish for not wanting to go back, or was he angry at him for not going back to Dean. Sometimes it was hard to read the Pastor when he was quiet like this when something happen, he was good at hiding his feelings when a huge fight would come between the Winchesters. Once when he did start to talk even if anger wasn't in his voice, they could see the fire in his eyes knowing hell was about to come. Sam knew only a few times that he heard Jim yell in angry it was mostly at their father, for doing something stupid, careless and down right dangerous to the boys. What he saw now on his friend was none of that no anger or resentment, he was calm giving Sam the support and love he needs right now. Looking back on the path he saw some waterfalls to the right of the path, he stop to look at the beauty before him. Feeling more then seeing Jim stepping next to him as he look at the falls, walking a little further to the bridge he stop in the middle so he could see both of the falls._

 _Looking up to the top of the falls each one has two large boulders the water comes between; as the liquid pours over the cliff it's white like snow as it comes down. When the water is half way down the cliff face it's blue like sheets of ice, before it hits the rocks at the bottom where it's white waters. The gray color stone of the cliff side is speckle with white specks, with green bushes with assorted color flowers going down the stone. On top of the cliff have bushes are an emerald green with white brilliant flowers, unlike the ones on the bushes that are on the cliff side are duller in color. At the bottom of the falls the bushes and plants are a dull green, the color of the flowers dull reds, yellows, oranges and purples. Seeing both falls with the assortments of color with plants and water took Sam's breath away, to him they both look identical with the beauty of nature that is before him. Hearing the roaring of the water as it hit the bottom of the cavern was music to his ears, he has never heard of anything as beautiful as he is now. Feeling a hand on his shoulder brought him out of his state of mind he was in, looking over he saw Jim standing next to him with a soft smile on his face. Brought a smile to his own and a feeling of peace he never felt in a long time, this feeling he has now it's the one he always wanted. Now knowing where he wants to be at he was content to stay right here, he hasn't felt this peaceful in such a long time as he does now. Glancing over at his friend he was going to tell him where he wanted to be._

 _"Jim, being here has giving me so much peace I haven't felt in a long time, I want to stay here there's nothing for me back there."_

 _"Samuel, how can you say that, there are people back there that care for you."_

 _"Jim, Garth will find other hunters to hang out with on hunts, Castiel has his own brothers of Angels to keep him busy. Jackson has his own friends and patients to keep him busy and happy, there's no one that will miss when I stay here."_

 _Jim could hear the ache in Sam's voice when he said "no one" knowing he meant Dean, he has never seen his friend this determine not to go back to his life. Dean has really hurt his brother deeper then Jim thought to have him be like this, Castiel was right when he said Sam wouldn't be fighting back no matter what he said. Saying a quiet prayer to the Angel for help he had to show Sam how important it is to go back, he knows Dean won't do good if Sam doesn't come back to him. Getting a sign from the Angel he knew what to do to prove to Sam, knowing it's a rotten way to do it by fooling his friend like this._

 _"Sam, the waterfalls before us represent souls who are at the crossroads of life and death, it shows the souls where they should be before making the final journey. One is the crossroad of life while the other is the crossroads of death, it show the soul how things will play out when it comes to the decision it makes. The one to your left is the crossroad to life it's going to show you how things will be, the right is the crossroad of death it will show you what will come when it ends. Are you ready to see your crossroads Samuel."_

 _"Jim, I thought we went through this already-okay! I'll take the waterfall to the left boy you haven't change in the afterlife."_

 _Hearing a soft chuckle put a smile on the young mans face, turning to the left waterfall he watch as a image of him and Dean came into view. Feeling a pain of hurt in his chest taking a deep breath he watch with fear in his heart, when Dean walks into the hotel room in a bad mood with him following behind him._

 _~~~SPN~~~_

 _"I can't believe you pulled a stunt like that Sammy, you could have gotten yourself killed."_

 _"What did you expect me to do Dean, the werewolf came out of the shadows so fast I had to react."_

 _"You could have yelled out a warning letting me know it was behind me, I had time to shot it with a silver bullet in the heart. But no, you couldn't do that could you Sammy, you used yourself as bait."_

 _"Dean, you wouldn't have time to take a shot it moved to fast from the woods, so yeah I used myself as bait to keep it away from you. Knowing you would kill it before it killed me."_

 _"You are not the one who makes the calls on the hunts I am, if I tell you what's going on you listen to me. I took the lead into the clearing to draw out the werewolf, knowing that you will have my back yelling out a warning. Couldn't even listen to a damn thing I said had it all planned out, had it all under control Sam."_

 _"That is the problem here Dean you didn't have it under control on the hunt, I told you where the killing were happening at in the clearing. Did you even listen to me no you didn't thinking you are always right, when you are not you turned around putting the blame on me. I saw the werewolf rushing out of the shadows coming in fast, didn't have time to yell out a warning had to do something to save your ass."_

 _"I'm an adult now Dean you need to stop treating me like I'm twelve years old, I can handle myself on a hunt like it or not-"_

 _Sam hiss in pain when he turned away from his brother's angry glare he was giving him, the pain took his breath away making the room spin in and out of focus. What stop him from face planting on the floor was the strong arms of his brother, leading him to the bed to have him sit so he can check him out. Trying to move his brother's hand away from his side so he can take a good look, seeing the scratch marks a pain of quilt stab his heart._

 _"Sammy, come sit down let me look at the wound, I said let me look, stop being a drama queen move your hand._

 _Sam let Dean check out the scratch marks on his left side rib cage, at the time it happen he thought he moved out of the way. On the walked back to the Impala after they salt and burn the creature, is when Sam felt the burning on his left side of his body. Moving his hand over the spot he couldn't stop the hiss from his throat, seeing Dean turning around with fire in his eyes he knew hell was coming. Leaning against the Impala to catch his breath he was feeling light headed, didn't even see Dean coming until he touch his wound. Flinching away he couldn't stop the groan or the world spinning, feeling warm hands on his face he realize he was sitting inside the Impala. When they reach the hotel his brother helped him out of the car, shaking his hands off of him he pushed Dean away causing the fight. Now he's sitting on the bed wanting his brother to help him with the wound, feeling like a five year old again he just wanted his brother._

 _Looking up at Dean as he took his coat off to look at the wound, he gave him watery puppy-dog eyes before he pass out on the bed. Waking a few hours later he hiss in pain as he tried to sit up in bed, only to have two strong warm hands leading him back down on the bed. Blinking the blurriness out of his sight he looked for his brother, seeing him sitting next to him on the bed with tired eyes. Wondering how long he's been out he tried to asked Dean the question, clearing his throat his mouth was dry as his throat. Seeing a glass of water he drank it greedily whimpering when Dean took it away, licking his lips he tried it again was surprise to hear how horse his voice was._

 _"How long?"_

 _"It's been three days, Sammy, of you running a fever of 102, scared the crap out of me kiddo. If you didn't wake up today I was going to bring you to the ER."_

 _"Three days-what happen."_

 _"You got an infection from the claw marks of the werewolf, Garth knew a doctor who came and gave you some antibiotics and fluids. Had to reopen your wounds to clean the infection out, he sewed you back up, when he was done he gave me these pills for you to take now your awake."_

 _"I didn't think you would wake up Sammy I can't loose you kiddo-please don't ever do that again scaring me like that. You are the only family I have left tiger, can't do this without you."_

 _"Sorry Dean, didn't mean to scare you like this promise I didn't, had to protect you from the werewolf you are the only family I have felt. I can't do this without you Dean please don't asked me to not again, I can't-please don't-"_

 _Sam couldn't stop the tears coming from his eyes, with him still being sick, exhausted and in pain it all added to his emotions. Feeling strong arms lifting him up against a strong warm chest holding him tight, letting all his emotions coming out through his tears soaking his brother's shirt._

 _"That is one thing I can't asked of you Sammy is to protect me that's my job to protect you, that is all I know how to do being the older brother it's my job. Love you Sammy won't ever be alone while I'm around."_

 _"Love you too, Dean."_

 _~~~SPN~~~_

 _Jim watches as Sam listen to what he saw in the waterfall of him and Dean on a future hunt together, seeing a confused look on his friend he told him what this was about. Before he could say a word Sam spoke first._

 _"Jim, this hunt has never happen we've had many werewolves hunts not this one."_

 _"Samuel, this hunt you have just saw is what you and Dean will be doing in the future, this fall shows the souls what will happen in their lives when the go back. Both of you will go hunt this werewolf were you get hurt protecting Dean, of course your brother will be piss when you used yourself as bait."_

 _"Why would Dean need me on a hunt he has Benny as a partner and brother?"_

 _"Samuel, as you can see Dean pick you as his partner and brother not Benny, doesn't look at me like that young man I have never lied to you."_

 _Jim could see that Sam wasn't buying on what he just saw of him and Dean, he can't blame his friend thinking he was lying to him. Dean must have really hurt Sam deep for him to second quest him, not taking it defensive he did feel a little hurt by it._

 _Sam felt bad for putting that look in Jim's eyes when he gave him that look, it's not that he thinks Jim is lying it's that Dean wants him as a brother again._

 _"Jim, I'm not calling you a liar I'm sorry you took it that way, it's that-Dean had said it so many times we are not brother's. He can't trust me anymore for all the things I have done to him, Benny not once let Dean down, lied to him, always had his back. He shoves it in my face everyday to make his new brother better then me, tell me why should I go back to all the hurt, pain and heart ache. Tell me why I should Jim?"_

 _"Samuel, the only way I can show you why you need to go back to your brother, look at the left waterfall it will show you what will happen if you didn't go back. I need to warn you this won't be easy to watch Sam, what you will see it will happen."_

 _~~~SPN~~~_

 **Read at your own risk the next paragraphs will contain self harm and suicide, if this triggers any bad memories please skip this.**

 _Jackson walked up to Sam's bed laying his hand on Dean's shoulder to comfort the older brother, he knows from experience the lost of a sibling how strong it is. He stood there letting his friend know he's not alone right now, hearing Dean's cries for Sam tore at his heart shredding it into pieces. Looking over he motion for the nurses to leave the room quietly, watching as them do as he asked he turned back to his friend. Taking a deep breath getting the lump out of his throat he needed to let Dean know he's not alone._

 _"Dean-I-I'm sorry I tried to get Sam to fight-wish I could have done more."_

 _"Jackson it-it wasn't your f-fault it's mine-I pushed him away by my words-kept hurting him making him think I hated him. Oh god he died thinking I hate him-I-I don't Jackson don't hate him-now-now I -don't know what to do, how am I suppose to go on without Sammy."_

 _"I-I can't do this alone-don't want to do this alone-lost my brother-lost my baby brother-what the hell have I done." Dean turned to Jackson with teary eyes that turned to anger, deep hatred angry eyes that took the doctors breath away. "It's my fault that I lost Sam for my stupidity couldn't let it go, now-now I don't have a brother anymore couldn't let it go. How am I suppose to live with myself knowing I'm the one who killed Sammy, wasn't those bastard hunters or Vampires it was ME! I'm the one who killed him-"_

 _Dean stop his angry rant when it sunk in on what he just told Jackson, shaking his head he couldn't stop the words repeating in his mind. 'you killed your own brother, you killed your own brother' Jumping up from the bed Dean started to pace the floor, repeating the same words in a whisper over and over again. Pressing his hands on his head trying to block them from his mind, only to have them keep repeating. Stopping he looked around the room as if he was trying to escape, eyes moving fast around the room until he found what he was looking for. Seeing it laying on the table next to Sam's bed he stood still for just a second, next thing he knew he's fighting with Jackson who's trying to take the scissors out of his hands._

 _Jackson kept a close eye on Dean as he pace the floor like a cage tiger, knowing that right now his friend is not in the right mind. Hearing whispers he listen carefully to what he was saying to himself, it brought tears to his eyes once when he realize the words were being said. He wanted to go over to calm him down before he hurt himself, once when he saw the lost, sad, alone look in his eyes he stayed were he was. He'll let his friend wear himself out first before he step in to calm him, what scared Jackson is when he stop eyes fix on the table by the bed. Seeing the scissors he knew what was about to happen, he had to stop it before Dean got to the table. Before he could even move a foot Dean was already there holding it to his wrist, seeing blood pooling as the blade cut across his skin he jump into action. Rushing over he tried to pulled them out of his hand before he's done more damage, Dean was stronger with determination to finish the job before he was stop._

 _"Dean, stop don't do this, please stop cutting yourself, it's not worth it Dean believe me it's not. Is this what Sam would want you to do, kill yourself, like this committing suicide this isn't you. Dean look at me damn it I said look at me! That's it stop cutting yourself, give me this scissors."_

 _Jackson waited with baited breath for his friend to do as he asked of him, not liking the blank far away look in his eyes. Carefully he lifted the object away from the man's skin hissing at what he saw, three deep cuts with blood pouring out. Grabbing some gauze he started to wrapped it tightly around his wrist, tying it off to stay securely on until he clean and sewed the cuts up. Grabbing a clothe from the table he walked over to the sink wetting it,stepping back to his friend he wipe the blood off the floor throwing it away. Taking his hand he slowly and carefully laid it on his shoulder as not to spook him, seeing the flinch he watch as Dean came around from the shock he was in. Seeing the tears weld up in his eyes, the small shake of his head, Dean back away from him. Before Jackson knew what was happening the older brother ran out of the door, cursing at himself he follow him out the door as fast as he could._

 _Dean wasn't aware of anything when Jackson fought him for the scissors to stop him; there was one thing on his mind he had to be with Sammy. Glancing up at his friend with blurry eyes he shook his head slowly before he ran out of the room, he didn't stop until he reach the Impala popping open the truck he grabbed his colt. Hearing his friend calling to him he turned to see Jackson running up to him, knowing what he was about to do Dean ran towards the far end of the building. As he turned around the corner he saw a cluster of trees, running towards them he stop once when he entered the tree line. As he turned he saw Jackson entering right behind him with his hands up in front of him, he can't let his friend talk him out what he was about to do. Holding the gun to his head he looked him straight in the eyes, seeing the horror on Jackson face didn't deter Dean from what he was going to do. Stepping away from his friend he had to let him know it's okay, he's ready to go be with Sammy._

 _"Jackson, don't try to stop me I can't go on anymore, Sammy died because of my words and actions how can I live with myself. He thinks I hated him when he left us behind that broke me, please leave don't want you to see this my friend."_

 _"Dean I know how you are feeling-please hear me out I do know what you are feeling, Jefferson and I had a huge fight that broke us apart. I thought he hated me too when we separated with each other, I loved him no matter how angry we were it was over something stupid. We got back together when something bad happen to me, glad we made up when we did a few years later he was killed. I know that feeling of lost, heartache and fear, I have been through it I'm hear today cause I know that is what Jefferson would have wanted."_

 _"Jackson this isn't the same thing as you and Jeff, I ran Sammy off with my words getting him tortured by those bastards. I killed my own brother how can I live with that, sorry Jackson it has to be this way."_

 _Jackson went to move on Dean when the gun went off, blood and brain matter splatter over his face, coat, shirt and pants. Watching in shock as Dean fell to the ground in a heap with his eyes open, watching them clouding over as the life went out of him all over the ground._

 **Ends here!**

 _~~~SPN~~~_

 _Sam stood in shock at what he just saw in the water his brother taking his life, all different kinds of emotions ran through his head. Turning to Jim who was still looking at the water of Dean lying on the ground dead, he has tears in his eyes over the lost of his close friend. Glancing back at the water thinking if he look again Dean would be alive, he was still laying on the ground with no life in him. Feeling wetness on his face he wipe with his hands is when he notice he was crying, his own brother committed suicide over the guilt he felt about Sam. Finding his voice he had to find out if this is the truth or not, deep down he knew the answer already._

 _"Jim, is this what we just saw going to happen to Dean if I don't go back."_

 _"Samuel follow your own heart son, what is it telling you."_

 _Feeling the need to get back to his brother Sam ran off the bridge, heading back in the direction he came from. He had to get back to Dean before he kills himself from the guilt, even though Sam still have mix feelings on what just happen._

 _"Castiel, that wasn't the whole truth was it."_

 _"Pastor Jim had to nudge Sam in the right direction, we both know what would happen if Sam didn't go back."_

 _Shaking his head yes saying his goodbyes Jim headed down the trial in the opposite direction, Castiel watch as the Pastor walked out of sight before going back to Garth._

~~~SPN~~~

Dean wasn't sure how long he laid next to his dead brother crying for him to come back, lifting himself up guilt over welled him like a huge title wave hitting the shores. The deep hate he had for himself drown him like he was under water, he couldn't get any air in his lungs that starve for it. Looking back at his brother he knew what he had to do, getting off the bed is when he realizes it was him and Jackson left in the room. As he walked past his friend he couldn't make eye contact with him, knowing if he did would give away his plan he was about to do. Feeling a strong hand on his arm he knew his gig was up, turning towards Jackson he sadness along with tears in his eyes. Trying to get the hand off of him it had to do what he's planning, the grip was strong on him grounded him to the here and now. Like a huge hurricane going through him he rip his arm away from the man, turning towards to door just as his hand touch the handle he heard a sound behind him. Stopping him from opening the door he glances over his shoulder, he had to make sure he wasn't hearing things like a heart beat. Looking at the flat line he knew it was just his imagination playing with him, as he turned to open the door he heard it again along with another. Feeling his heart stop in his chest he dare to look one more time, what he saw brought him to his knees with tears of joy.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Hearing the heartbeat of his supposedly dead little brother Dean felt his knees give out on him, falling to the floor on his knees with one hand on his stomach while the other covered his mouth. His chest felt heavy like lead was poured into his lungs when he tried to catch a breath, with his vision blurring he could see black dots forming before him. His mind was swirling like leaves being blown around in a windstorm that made a little tornado, swirling and swirling until you can't tell one leave from another one. The wind was rushing so loud in his mind he only heard the roaring sound, like the sound of a hurricane as it touches the ground before it does the damage. Closing his eyes to stop the spinning of the room before it made him sick, through his muddle mind he thought he heard someone calling his name. He couldn't pin point where the voice was coming from, or whom it was who was calling him, the only noise he heard was the hurricane still roaring in his mind. Trying to open his eye again was a mistake since the room was spinning; he saw white flashes before his eyes that followed with yellow and orange. Feeling his stomach crapping he knew what was going to happen he couldn't stop, feeling hot acid in his throat and mouth with the bitter taste saliva, he knew he lost the battle. What he had for breakfast and lunch ended up at the bottom of a trashcan, with ever heave more stomach content came out of his mouth. Until nothing else was come except for dry heaves that crapped his stomach more, by the time he was done he was weak as a day old colt. Hearing a voice he wish it would just shut up leave him be in his misery, it kept calling him over and over again to where his mind started to swirl. He tried to block the annoying sound from his already mix up brain, he couldn't even think where he is or how he got here. The only thing he knew is that some annoying person is trying to get through to him, when he just wants to lay down and sleep off this hangover he has.

As him mind clear some more to where he could see some color other then swirls of white, yellow and orange, he could see he was in a room with white walls and floor. Blinking his eyes to clear the blurriness from them so he can have a better look, he saw he was in a hospital room sitting on the floor. Trying to think how he got here or why he's in the room, he felt a hand on his shoulder and back giving him comfort. Thinking it was Sam he turned to see a dark hair person next to him, by what he could see he knew it wasn't his brother. Panic and fear set in trying to think what happen and where's his brother, his fighting instincts kicked in pushing the person away from him so he can stand. When he tried to stand he fall hard on his ass onto the floor, the hit was so hard it jarred his teeth biting the inside of his cheek. Feeling hands again on his shoulder he started to swing blindly at the person, he had to fight his way out so he can find his brother. Once again the hands were holding him down by grabbing his shoulders, the more he struggle the weaker he got for his fight of freedom. When his body finally couldn't fight anymore he went limp from exhaustion, looking up at the person before he the only thing that came to mind before he blacked out was. Where's Sammy.

~~~SPN~~~

Slowly as the thick fog cleared from his muddle mind Dean tried to open his eyes, which was hard when it felt like a brick was keeping them close. No matter how hard he tried to open his eyes they would not open not even a slit, even trying to hear was difficult felt like cotton balls were shoved in his ears. His mouth felt dry like a desert as he licked his lips, cringing when it felt like something died in there. Moving his head so he could hear what was going around him, only to have it felt like a bunch of cotton balls were stuff in his head. Feeling a hand on his shoulder he tried once again to get his eyes to open, this time he got them open just a slit to see who it was. Only to see a blurry figure standing next to the bed looking down at him, blinking a few more times he got his eyes open half way to see a female nurse. Confused he looked around the room looking for his brother, when he couldn't see him panic surge through him. As he tried to sit up only to have the nurse pushed him back on the bed, now his eyes are wide open searching for his sibling. As the nurse held him down his anger grew deep at her for keeping him on the bed, didn't she know that he had to go look for his younger brother to make sure he was okay. As his struggling continued he heard her calling someone to the room, not caring if it's the doctor or orderlies he was getting up to find Sam. Hearing a voice coming into the room he couldn't hear what was being said, sounded like they were talking under water their voice sounded far away. Feeling stronger hands on his shoulders pushing him back on the bed, he could hear the person calling his name. Shaking his head to clear the fogginess that was still lingering in his mind, he looked around to see if he could see Sam. When his eyes turned to the person who was holding him down on the bed, when his vision finally became clear enough he saw it was Jackson looking down at him. With fear in his heart at the thought of Sam being hurt, help Dean's mind clear faster he needs to know where Sam is.

Looking up at Jackson with panic fearful eyes he needed to know what happen with his brother, trying to ask where his sibling is wasn't so easy with his mouth so dry. Licking his lips he cringe at the foul taste that linger, his throat felt raw like he threw up after a hangover burning like a fire. Seeing a glass of water in front of him waiting to be drunk, he eagerly drank the cool liquid doing the job of getting the fire out. When he was done he lick his lips again before asking where Sam is, before he got a word out Jackson beat him to the punch.

"Dean, are you with me now, give me some kind of sign by shaking your head?"

Seeing his friend shaking his head Jackson knew that he was alert enough to ask questions.

"Do you remember why you are here?"

Watching closely as his friend try to figure out why he's at the hospital, then seeing the panic and fear he knew the answer before Dean said a word.

The older brother lay there thinking why he was here, until he remember Sammy being hurt and dying. Panic surge through him thinking he lost his brother, until he remember he heard the heart beat when everything went black. Glancing at his friend he had to know how Sam is.

"Sammy, how is he doing Jackson, he's-he's not dead right."

"No Dean, Sam is not dead, he's alive don't know how he came back-lay down Dean I won't say it again. You need to rest get some fluids in you-I'm the doctor here not you, Sam is down the hall from your room. I'm going to register you as my patient-don't fight me on this you need the rest, won't do Sam any good if you collapse again."

"I have to see Sammy, Jackson I can't be a patient right now, I need to be with my brother please I'm begging you."

"Dean, as a friend please just listen to me about resting getting your strength back up, when you black out in the room scaring the shit out of me. I had the orderlies bring in a cot to lift you up in it, check you over to see if you had any kind of injuries on you. I found a cut on your left side that's infected; you got a fever from it, why didn't you tell me you were hurt. This could really kill Sam with this stupid move you pulled, his body is too weak to fight off a fever."

"Jackson, I didn't know I had a cut on my side or remember how it got there, so much stuff has happen in the last week. When Castiel took Sam from me the only thing I had on my mind was finding Sam, my health wasn't my concern still not Sam is my main concern. I need to see him Jackson please let me see him."

"Dean, I can not let you see Sam with your fever of a 101 from the infection, white blood cell count is way to high for my liking fighting the infection. You are malnutrition from not eating properly or getting enough liquid in you, your blood pressure and heart rate is way to high, along with the fever and infection you need rest. I'm not taking no for an answer you are staying put young man, don't give Kathy any problems or I'll come and kick your ass got it."

"You've got a poor bedside manner you know that Jackson you suck, I need to see Sammy have to make sure he's still alive. Come on Jackson you can't keep me here, fine I'll go-son of a bitch what did you do."

Dean hiss shapely when he tried to get out of the bed to find Sam, breathing through the pain in deep breaths he couldn't stop the tears. His whole left side flare in white hot pain like someone stab him with a knife, taking small keep breaths seems to help ease some of the pain he was in. Slowly opening his eyes he saw Jackson looking at him with worry eyes, shaking his head to let him know that he'll stay in bed. The pain was so strong it took what fight he had out of him, leaving him exhausted and weak he dare not move from his spot. Feeling warmth in his blood stream he knew Jackson gave him a painkiller to make him sleep, before he went under he had to asked his friend to keep watch of Sam.

"Please keep Sammy with me."

Jackson watched as Dean went under the painkiller he gave him to rest, listening to him asking about Sam made his heart warm and ache at the same time. He was worried about his friend hoping what or who ever brought him back, will keep him here with them and not on the other side. Before leaving the room Jackson laid his hand on Dean's chest, telling his friend he'll do what ever he can to keep Sam with them.

"I'm going to do my best, Dean, to keep Sam with us, you have my word on that my friend."

Taking one last look at the man on the bed he told the nurse to keep a close eye on his friend, walking out of the room he had to go check up on Sam.

~~~SPN~~~

Castiel watched from the corner of the room as Dean collapse on the floor of the room, with Jackson checking him over to see if anything has happen to him. Hearing a curse coming from the Doctor he took a closer look to see why, on his left side there was a four inch cut that was infected red with puss oozing out. Shaking his head at his old friend carelessness he walked back to Sam's bed, placing his hand on his head he gave him some of his grace. Stepping back in the shadows he kept a close eye on his friend as he slept, hearing his heart beating was music to his ears, which made him smile. Feeling a presents next to him he knew who it was, not taking his eyes from Sam he asked him why he was there.

"John, why are you here in Sam's room, shouldn't you be with your son Dean."

"Castiel, Sam and Dean are both my sons I have a right to be here, I'm still there father."

"A father loves both his children the same not favoring one over the other, like you do with Dean he's your favorite not Sam."

"How I treat my boys is my business not yours Angel, you don't get the right to tell me how to treat them. You are the one who wanted to kill Sam for the Demon Blood that's in him, never wanted to be near him keeping your distance in fear of being tainted. How can you stand here now acting like you care about my son?"

"John Winchester, I will emit when I first met Sam I thought he was a abomination that should be rid of this world, he's tainted of demon blood from Ruby and Azazel for their own plans. Once when I got to know Sam I saw past all his faults, I saw what was in his heart pure love for his brother and family. When we became friends he was always there for me like I am for him, we fought side by side knowing I had someone to watch my back."

"I watch as Dean tore him apart by his words and actions knowing it would hurt him, turning to a vampire to his new brother leaving Sam out in the streets. Now with him being on deaths door he wants to be brothers again, he's acting like he cares or loves Sam that I know it's a lie. He got that from you holding grudges, trust issues, abandonment and turning back on family, something that Dean learned from you growing up under your care. So who really cares about Sam, me, you or Dean?"

Castiel turned to John daring him to say the wrong thing so he can send him away, he didn't want this man to be any where near his friend right now or ever.

John stood his ground to the Angel showing no fear to the being before him, feeling the anger inside of him he stood in Castiel personal space. Looking straight into the blue eyes he had a few words to say to the Angel.

"All those things you said about Dean holding against Sam are true it goes the other way too, I taught my boys how to fight the good fight never backing down. I might have been hard on Sam growing up getting him to be tougher; I did it to protect him from all the creatures that go bump in the night. I raise them the best that I could will finding the demon that killed my wife, Sam left us to go to school he walked out of this family that cared about him."

"Sam didn't walked out of his family John, you force him out of the family telling him he's no longer apart of. You got your ego bruised when Sam became an adult knowing what he wanted in life, he got accepted in a good collage wanted you to be proud of him. Instead you just shot him down telling him if he walked out that door, he's no longer a part of your family and to never come back to you and Dean. Even Dean stood by your side watching him walking out the door never once going after him, then years later you yourself left Dean in the dust for your own selfish reasons. You never once put your son's lives first, always your selfish reason came first your sons came last."

"You need to leave John Winchester stay away from Sam or I will cast you in hell again, I won't let you hurt him anymore you did enough damage to him. I said leave now won't be saying it again."

Seeing the anger on the father as he left Castiel stepped up to Sam's bed, placing a hand on his shoulder he leaned down to whisper in his ear.

"Sam, I won't let your dad or brother to ever hurt you again, I make this my promise to you as a friend."

Hearing the door open he left the room seeing it was Jackson coming in to check up on Sam, he didn't want the Doctor to know he was here.

~~~SPN~~~

Leaving Dean's room Jackson heading to the nurses station to hand them the clipboard, letting Kathy know to check up on Dean every hour for his fever. To let him know if it goes any higher which he don't think it would, with his fever, blood pressure, heart rate high he wanted someone to keep an eye on him. Walking down the hallway he went through the double doors stepping up to Sam's room, he kept Dean on the same floor which will be easier for him.

Stepping inside he sigh in relief to hear his heart beating again, it scared him to no end when his heart stop. He thought for sure he lost his friend for good like he did his brother; he's been so close to the Winchester Brother's he treated them like siblings. At the clinic he became close to Dean and Sam as the younger brother recovered, even went to see them at the cabin after Sam was released from his care. He had to make sure he was doing okay physically even though he looked pale and thin, knowing in time he would put weight back on and get his color back. While he and Jefferson was there they went swimming, played ball even went on a hike, he saw a side of Sam that reminded of a younger him he felt connected to him. Now he still has that feeling for the man on the bed before him, even though he's an adult now he still sees a little of him in Sam.

Standing next to the bed he took his vital signs to see how they are doing, his pulse was still low as his heart beat which he knew it would be. With the strain his body took it will be a long recovery for him to come back from, checking his wounds and stitches to make sure they are clean and no infections. Taking his blood pressure he sigh when it was only 110 over 40 which is way to low, he'll give him another liter of blood to help raise it back to normal. Checking his fluids and antibiotics he wrote down that he needed some more, before walking out of the door he sat down next to his friend grabbing his hand in his. Letting out a soft sigh he glanced over at the man on the bed, he had to let him know what he's feeling.

"Sam when I thought we lost you I couldn't breath my lungs closed up on me, my heart broke when I saw that flat line on the monitor. My mind went back to when I lost Jefferson how it crushed my soul to see him, now I almost lost another brother wouldn't be able to take it if I did. Who ever brought you back I'm happy they did, don't know if it was Castiel or some other higher power who did. I'm glad that I got you back so please don't scare the crap out of him, one more thing young man stop being a drama queen okay."

Standing up he patted the young man's shoulder before walking out the door, going down the hallway he stop off at the nurse station. Letting them know the things he needed for his patient in room 323, getting an answer he walked to the elevators he needed to get some fresh air. Getting out he walked to the front doors to step outside, walking to the left side of the building where they have benches by the trees. Sitting in the shade he took a deep breath to calm his nervous from the events, closing his eyes for just a minute he jump when he heard a voice next to him. Looking over he turned white to see Jim Murphy sitting next to him; he was about to move away when the man laid a hand on him. Feeling peace he sat back down next to his suppose to be dead friend, looking around to see if anyone else sees him or not. Glancing back at the man next to him he wonder why he's being visited by him, before he could asked Jim told him what had happen.

"Jackson, yes I am a ghost but not the vengeful kind, I'm here to let you know about Samuel. I was with him on his crossroad quest letting him know to live, we have talked about many things even you my friend. He really did not want to come back here to all the pain, he wanted to stay were it was peaceful and calm. I couldn't blame him after I heard all the things Dean has done to him, the words he said to Samuel really crushed the boys heart. Even the pain and torture he got from the hunters didn't hurt as much as Dean's words, he even believe all the things they told him about himself that are not true."

"We went to a waterfall that shows you your life or death on how you want it to go, the one that shows Sam not coming back really shook him to the core. I know the brother's bond has been broken by Dean's hurtful words he has said, it still can be repaired if Sam opens his heart to Dean. It might take sometime for this to happen but it will, my friend, Samuel is really hurting I don't mean physically I mean emotionally. It's going to take some time for him to get past all this hurt he's feeling; you need to be with him when he's ready to live here Jackson. He needs to know he has someone he can trust on his side, yes he has Garth and Castiel he needs to have someone who understands his hurt."

"You are talking about mine and Jefferson fight that broke us apart, that is still painful Jim for me to talk about."

"Jackson, this is something that you and Samuel needs to heal from the hurt, yes you and Jefferson have made a mends before he died. There's still some hurt feelings you have towards him about that fight, he don't hold any hate or grudges against you my friend he loves you. I wish it could be him sitting here with you telling you this, right now it's not the time to do so you need to get rid of the hurt."

"I don't know if I can do that Jim the hurt is still so strong in me, I know what Sam is going through with Dean. Don't know if I'm the right person to help him with the pain and hurt, why did you pick me to have this talk why not someone else."

"You are the one who needs to talk to Samuel my friend, you know what he is going through with his broken heart. Only a brother who's been hurt by another brother will know the pain so deep, this will help you both to heal from all the wounds you two have. This will take a few weeks or months, depends on how much healing there is, you need to go slow with Samuel he'll be closed off for a few days. Let him do the talking Jackson listen to him with your heart not your head, the questions and talks will be hard on you don't hide your feeling, fears or tears."

"Jim I don't know if I can do this what about my job here at the hospital, I can't just get up and leave this all behind my friend. If it's going to take a few months I would have to walked away from all of this, I want to help Sam but am I really the right man to do the task."

"There's a lot of anger in Dean just like it was with Jefferson when you had the fight, you know all about a big brothers hurt, mistrusts, not looking for him. You are the right man to do the job Jackson even if you don't think so; as for your job there are better things for you in the near future. This is more important to get Samuel to heal from his wounds; I'm not talking about the ones he got from the hunters. You do remember were my cabin is by the lake that Samuel loved so much, take him there the key is under the red rock by the steps. You'll have to do laundry, get gas and groceries for your stay there, other hunters have used it from time to time they keep it clean while they are there. Make sure when you do leave don't tell Dean what you are doing, he needs time away to get his anger out of his system. Don't worry about Castiel he won't bother you while you take care of Samuel, he will check in from time to time right Castiel."

"Yes Jim, I won't bother Jackson or Sam I will be keeping Dean away though, he don't need to be any where near Sam. Jim I have a right to keep my friend safe from harm of any kind, that even goes for Dean he's not safe to be with Sam."

"Castiel, when it's comes time for Dean to be with Samuel it will happen, you will not be stopping it when the time comes. They brother's need to be back together so they can repair their bond, when it happens it will take time and patients."

"Don't worry Jim, I'll make sure Dean will be there when it's time for him, not afraid of the Angel he knows not to cross me. When Sam is ready to leave will take him to the cabin for some R&R and talk, I won't be able to get up there to do groceries or clean will be busy here."

"I can asked Garth to go there to get the place ready for Sam, call him when it's time he'll do it for you."

"Alright it's settle then Jackson you take Sam there be patient with him, let him take the lead on how he's feeling. Don't pushed him into anything he'll clam up if you push to hard, be there for him to let him know he's not alone. I got to go my friend take care of my boy for me, he's has a special place in my heart always."

"Bye Jim, if you see Jefferson-well you know, let him know I do miss him."

Standing up he watch as Jim and Castiel disappeared into thin air leaving him alone, taking a deep breath he knew Jim was right about him and Jefferson. Once when Sam is ready to leave the hospital he'll take him to the cabin, then both brothers can do some healing on the hurt of the older brothers. Walking back to the building he had some planning to do without letting Dean know, knowing once when the older brother finds out he'll be piss as hell.

~~~SPN~~~

Coming from a deep warm safe place in his mind Sam slowly crawl his way from it, the more he left that place he could feel the pain through his whole body. Turning his head was a mistake when the marching band made its presents, laying still he tried to listen to his surroundings only to hear the drums beating. Slowly he tried to open his eyes the only thing his eyelids felt like lead, when he got the open just a slit he closed them tight. The light was to bright for his sensitive eyes, which cause his head to explode, feeling exhausted already he slip back to the warm place of safety.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Walking back inside, Jackson headed to the nurses' station to check up on Dean and Sam, hearing that both brothers are still a sleep he heading to his friends office. As he stepped up to the door he hope that his friend would be there, knocking on the door he didn't enter until he heard Matt voice. Opening the door he step inside closing it behind him for some privacy, stepping up to the chair by the desk he sat down. Getting himself comfortable he glance over at the man behind the desk, clearing his throat there were some things he had to tell him.

"Matt, I'm going to take some personal time off for a few months or longer, depends on how long it takes to help my friend out."

"That's fine, Jackson take as much time as you need to be with your friend, Brad, Tracey and I can take care of your case loads and patients. You have done it for us when we needed time away to be with family, now take your time to be with your friend who's become a brother to you."

"Thanks Matt, I'm not sure on how long I'll be gone once when Sam is ready to leave here, we both need some healing to do with what we both been through. I really can't go into details so I hope you understand my needs to be there for him, he has become a brother to me very protective of him."

"Jackson, you don't need to explain anything to me or anyone else on what you are doing, take care of your friend who needs you more then we do at the moment. Let me know a few days before you have to leave here, so I can get Tracey, Brad or myself to take over your patients and cases."

"Will do my friend will let you know a few days before I leave with Sam, will get things ready for you guys to take things over. Just one thing my friend don't say anything to the others just yet about this, don't need certain ears to hear what is going on if you know what I mean."

Jackson didn't want anything to be said until it was time for him and Sam to leave, if Dean gets a word about it his plans then all hell will break loose. There were some nurses that can't be trusted in keeping things a secret, especially one that caused a lot of problems for him and Tracey when she gossip. Which in turned cause a lot of grief for him when she open her mouth about his personal life, that ended breaking up his and Tracey's romance before it even got off the ground. He's thankful that they are still friends, who love each other, they both are glad it didn't ruin their friendship to each other.

"I know what you mean Jack, don't worry about Gillian she learned her lesson on what happen, she should have kept her mouth shut about you and Tracey. I had her taken off my staff when I heard on what she did to you two, come to found out it was cause of jealousy she had a crush on you. Now I have her back again not by my choice, if I had it my way she wouldn't be here on this floor. I sat her down we had a good hour talk on what happen, told her if she said one thing out of line she's gone no second chances."

"I don't even talked to her or be in the same room with her Matt, Tracey and I are really good friends who care deeply for each other. I'm glad that our friendship wasn't destroyed by Gillian's lies of jealousy, I don't need what I have planned to be spread like wild fire right now. I know you won't say anything until I asked you too, thanks for keeping this between the both of us for right now."

"Not a problem Jackson, when you are ready Brad, Tracey, you and I will have a meeting in my office, we'll then talked about who would take over what work load and patients for your time away. Until then my lips are sealed my friend this doesn't go beyond that door."

"I got to get going have to check up on the Winchester Brothers especially Dean, told him not to cause Kelly any problems or I'll kick his ass. Don't worry I don't mean really kicking it wish I could though, he surely does need it at times for what he does."

"You do know both of the brother's Jackson-wait are they the two you told me about, when you work at the clinic when Jeff-sorry didn't mean to bring your brother up."

Matt could have kick himself when he brought up Jefferson name to his friend, seeing the smile when he talked about the Winchesters to see sadness in his eyes.

"It's okay Matt, it's still a sore spot for me when I hear my brother's name, I know I should be over the grieving but I'm not still to raw for me."

"Jack, don't be hard on yourself it's going to take time for the grieving no matter what people say, go check up on your two patients glad that Sam is doing better."

Saying his goodbye, Jackson walked out the door taking a deep breath to rein in his emotions, he knew Matt didn't mean no harm talking about his brother Jefferson. He still feels the pain of grief when he thinks of his older brother, even feels the anger he still has for him Jim was right he needs to heal.

~~~SPN~~~

Stepping quietly into the room as not to disturb her patient who still under the sedative Jackson gave him, Kelly carefully check his vital and temperature as the doctor asked her too. His heartbeat and pulse have gone done some but not enough to ease her or Jackson, getting the ear thermometer she place it in his ear waiting for the peep. Checking his fluids and antibiotic making sure he was getting the right amount of drip he needed, hearing the peep she check his temperature writing it down on the clip board. She was glad that it hasn't gone up even though it still at 101 she will let Jackson know, seeing some sweat on his brow she walked to the bathroom to wet a wash clothe. Coming back out she gently wipe his face with the cool clothe, knowing it will help some with his fever to cool his skin. Checking on the time when he got his medicine for his fever to help bring it down, seeing he still have another hour to go for another one. Finishing up her work she wrote down everything she did and the time, she wanted Jackson to know she was checking up on him like he asked.

Sitting back down at her station she busied herself with typing all the information, from the patients she check up on on her rounds. Just as she finished with the last patient information she saw Jill walking up, smiling at her as she took her seat at her own computer to put the information in. When she was done turning to Kelly she had to asked about Dean, she only seen him a few times when he visited Sam became concerned when he collapse.

"How is Dean? I hope he's doing better then the last time I saw him."

"He still has his fever, vitals are high he's holding his own."

"Glad to hear was worried about him when I saw him on the floor, Jackson was worried sick about his friend."

"I saw a side of Jackson I haven't seen the whole time I worked with him, I have worked for him five years now never saw that side of him. He was stern with Dean like an older brother would be for a younger brother, he really cares for the Winchesters very much you can see it."

"That is what makes him so adorable on how he cares for each of his patients, make them feel like family on how he calms them. With the Winchesters he's different with those two he's more like a brother to them, makes me love him more as a Doctor to see that caring side of him. Not that kind of love Kelly I'm married."

"I know what you mean Jill was just pulling your chain girlfriend, he is very different with the two brothers nice to see that part of him. We do both love him for his kindness, compassion, caring treating people the right way, maybe in some ways we both have a crush on him even if we are both married."

Kelly and Jill both looked at each other and laugh on what was said, they both have love and respect for Jackson in their own ways.

~~~SPN~~~

Stepping up to the nurses' station Jackson asked on how both of his patients were doing, seeing their faces turning red he knew they were talking about him again. He love both of his head nurses as sisters treats them as family, even went to both of their houses for parties they held with their families. He knew how to make them all embarrass in a fun way, just to get them all flustered and tongue-tied.

"I know you both were talking about me I can see it in your eyes, you two have a crush on me don't you."

"We didn't-she didn't we were only joking." They both said at the same time with rosy red cheeks.

"You two better behave or I'll tell your husbands on you both, now tell me about my two patients." Jackson said with a smile that reaches his eyes.

"Dean's temperature is still 101 his pulse and heart rate has gone down some, check to see when I can give him next dose of medicine for his fever. I saw that he still has another hour so I wipe down his face and neck with a cool clothe, check his fluids drip to see if it was the right amount it is. He still under the sedative you gave him an two hours ago, glad he's still a sleep he needs it he looked so drained when he went to sleep."

"Sam, he's holding his own so far Jackson his blood pressure went up just a bit, his pulse is still to low for my liking, he got a very low fever of 99.6. I know it's just from the shock his body took with his injuries and heart stopping, I gave him medicine to keep his low graded fever down. I wrote all the information down on what I did Doctor, hope that I caught his fever in time he don't need it."

"Thank you for keeping an eye on Dean and Sam ladies I don't know what I would do without you, let me go check up on Sam first he's my main concern-what did you just say Jill."

Jackson had to hear what Jill said a second time to make sure is what he really heard her.

"I forgot to tell you I saw movement under Sam's eye lids when I check him over."

"Let's all hope that is Sam trying to wake up even though it's too soon for what he's been through, but then again Sam don't go by the rules either."

Jackson stated to his nurses as he walked to Sam's room to see about his fever, it concerned him when he heard Jill he had one. It's one thing that Sam don't need against him right now in his condition, his body is too weak to fight off an infection of any kind. He's like Jill hoping it's just from the strain his body took, with the surgery, dying, coming back to life can take a toll on the body. Stepping in he walked up to the bed placing a hand on his forehead, he frowned when he felt warmth under his palm of his hand. Looking at the chart everything Jill did was the correct thing to do, they'll just have to wait to see if they caught it in time. As he looked over the numbers on the chart he thought he saw movement, looking down he waited with baited breath to see if he's eyes were playing tricks with him. Smiling when he saw a finger twitch then another it was small but he saw it, glancing up he saw movement under Sam's eyelids. Leaning down he talked softly in his friends ear to see if he will get a response.

"Sam, if you can hear me move your fingers."

Looking down he saw a small twitch with one of his fingers, wanting to know if he really did it and not just a reflex he asked again. This time he place his hand in Sam's hand he wanted to see if he could squeeze it.

"Okay Sam, if you can hear me squeeze my hand for me, I know you can do it kiddo."

Jackson waited to see if he would get some kind of response from his friend, seeing none his heart sank to his stomach until he felt pressure on his hand. He smile big when he felt the very soft pressure from Sam's hand on his, taking his hand back he carded his hand in the man's hair fondly. He couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks; he would take a little to let him know that Sam is fighting. Taking a deep sigh of relief knowing that it's not over yet anything could happen, he's glad that Sam is fighting his way back to them. Knowing how anything can change in a heart beat he won't say anything just yet, he'll wait a few days first before he tells Dean what had just happen. Before leaving he bends down again to Sam's ear to talk to him, he had to make sure that his friend keeps fighting.

"Sam, keep fighting my friend don't give up you can win this battle I know you can, once when your doing better I'm taking some time off. You and me are going to take a vacation just the two of us, Dean won't know where we will be until I know it's okay for him to be there. These two little brothers need to get things out in the open, once when you are ready to talk I will listen to you with an open heart."

"I know what you are going through with the hurtful words said to you, I still have some angered and hurt feelings from Jefferson. We both can healed each other Sam from our wounds we both have, once when you are well enough we'll head to Jim's cabin for some R&R."

"I got to go now Sam have some more patients to see before I go home for the night, I'll see you first thing in the morning kiddo."

As he moved away from the bed he felt a hand grabbed his stopping him in his tracks, glancing up he saw his eyelids open just a slit. He couldn't stop the smile that cross his face when he saw a sliver of hazel orbs, before they closed again staying shut before the hand went limp. Fear went through him until he saw his chest moving, seeing a different pattern with his breathing he called for an oxygen mask. Placing it over Sam's mouth and nose turning it on he waited until it started to work, writing the information down he handed the chart to Jill letting her know to keep a close eye on him. Walking to the door he had one more brother to visit before the other patients, stepping out the door he knew Sam would be in good hands with Jill.

Opening the door to Dean's room he saw that the older brother was still under the sedative, he hope that the man would sleep through the night without waking up. Checking his fever before he left the room he saw it went down a little, the medicine he put Dean on his doing it's work getting another one ready he'll give it to him before he leaves. Looking the chart over he wrote down the temperature to let Kelly know he check him over, it was 101 now it's 100 it's one degree he'll take it. Placing the chart back on the foot of the bed he move closer to his friend, there was something he had to say quietly knowing the slightest sound would wake him.

"Dean, you better now give Kelly any problems while I'm gone for the night, if you do I give her permission to put you down for the count. Will make sure it's painful since I know you hate needles so much, so please give me the pleasure to cause you some pain this time around. After I check up on Sam in the morning I'll come and see how you are feeling, I see your vital are still to high with the medicine and antibiotics will bring them down. One thing for sure you and Jefferson both know how to break a younger brother's heart, don't know if that is in the big brother's manual or not but it does hurt like hell."

Taking one last look at his friend he left the room with anger in his own heart.

~~~SPN~~~

Arriving home Jackson check his mail before heading to his apartment, unlocking the door he stepped inside before closing and locking it. Going over to the sofa he sat down heavily running his hands over his face, taking a deep breath he glance over at a picture of him and Jefferson on his coffee table. He misses his brother so much that it hurts so bad he wants to cry, other days he has angered towards him for leaving him. They have so many issues that needed to be resolved between them, which will never happen now, he loves his brother that will never change no matter how hurt he was or still is. He wishes that he was still here so they can hash out their differences; get their bond back were it was once was before all the crap hit the fan. Right now he didn't know what he wanted to do first get drunk, cried, scream, get angry or throw something across the room, that day they were supposed to get together so they could have a heart to heart talk. When Jeff got that called from the hunters there were some angry words said, both brothers were fighting a few days before that fateful one that Jeff left in angered. Now Jackson wish he could take back what he said to his brother before he died, always wonder if Jefferson hated him for what he said before he got into the car. That is what hurts him the most the not knowing, was Jeff thinking he hated him when the werewolf torn him apart or loved him. Not wanting to think about it anymore Jackson got up to take a hot shower to relax him, as he stood under the hot water he felt all his muscles relaxing. Feeling all the tension leave his body as he let the water run over him, getting out he dried himself off getting into his night clothes heading to bed. The last thing that went through his mind was of Dean, getting a needle shoved in his ass by Kelly made him laugh as he was pulled under of sleep.

~~~SPN~~~

Making her rounds Kelly stepped into Dean's room around two in the morning, she's been checking up on him every hour as Jackson asked her to. Checking over his vitals she notice his blood pressure and heart rate has gone down, his BP was now 130/80 and heart rate was 65 beats per minute the medicine is doing it's work. Pulling the sheets down past his waist she lifted up his shirt on his left side, remove the bandage she check the stitches for any kind of infections. The area was still red and puffy with little oozing coming from the incision, getting some peroxide and antiseptic cream from the cabinet along with a cotton balls. She walked back to her patient she set to clean the puss from the stitches, soaking the cotton balls with peroxide she carefully clean them thoroughly. When she cleaned out all the pus removed she put antiseptic cream over the stitches, placing a clean fresh bandage over the area before pulling his shirt back down. As she threw and put away all the cleaning supplies she used grabbing the chart wrote down what she did, placing it back at the foot of the bed for the doctor to look it over. Stepping back up to the bed Kelly pulled the blanket up to his chest smoothing around him, hearing a mumble coming from him she listen carefully. What he said broke her heart for the older brother said in his sleep, 'Sammy don't die on me, please.', brought tears to her own eyes to hear the sorrow in it. She knew how to calm a distress patient down when they are having a bad dream, running her hand through his hair softly until he settle back into a deep sleep. Moving from the bed she headed for the door to check up on other patients, turning her head she look back at the older brother with a sad smile. Whispering to him knowing he wouldn't hear her she told him Sam is fighting.

"Dean, Jackson will do everything he can to keep Sam with you, he's a fighter big brother he learned it from you."

Opening the door she stepped out into the hallway closing if softly, walking back to her desk she wrote the information on the computer.

Jill had one more patient to visit before he shift was over for the night, stepping into Sam's room walking to the bed she check his vitals. Please that he has shown some improve during the night even opening his eyes, smiling when she first saw his lids open just a slit before closing them. His BP has improved from the first reading she took, it was 90/60 now it's 95/65 still to low but it's going up. His heart rate has gone up a few numbers from the last check in, it was 50 beats per minute now it's 55 beats per minute. It's showing that he is fighting to come back slowly which is a good thing, Jackson would be please on how far Sam has come in a short amount of time. Just as Jill finish doing his vitals checking his fluids and antibiotics, she show movement under his eye lids waiting patiently in hopes to see his orbs.

As if on cue Sam open his eyes just a slit like before then closed them again, smiling she couldn't stop the tears running down her cheeks. Her young patient was definitely fighting back from the brink of death, running her hand through his hair she whispered to him with joy in her heart.

"That's it Sam, fight back from this young man, Jackson will be please to hear you open your eyes twice. He does care about you deeply young Sam like a brother, even your own brother cares for you I can see it. Keep fighting young man you still have a lot to live for, will be back later today hopefully I can see your eyes again."

Stepping away from the bed crossing the room she headed out the door, walking up to the desk she type in all the information. She can't hardly wait to let Jackson know how Sam is doing this morning, looking at the clock to see the time was 7 am got another hour before Jackson comes in.

~~~SPN~~~

Entering Dean's room one last time before he shift was over for the day, she saw movement coming from the bed. Stepping back from the bed she waited until the older brother was awake, Jackson told her to take it slow when he comes from his sleep. With him being in big brother mode he'll swing first asked questions later, he didn't want Kelly to be hurt if Dean felt threaten in any way. Taking the Doctors words to heart she waited until the older man saw her, seeing recognition in his eyes is when she stepped up to the bed. Keeping a close eye on him Kelly could see that he had some discomfort; the way he moved to get comfortable was slow and painful as he sat up in bed. Knowing he was trying to hide the pain from her she wasn't buying it, looking over the chart it was time for him to have a shot for the pain. Walking back to the cabinet she pulled out the vial and syringe to give him, filling it up to the right amount hitting the plastic tube before releasing the air. As she near the bed with medicine in hand she knew there will be a fight, the way Dean was looking at her and moving away as far as he could. As she reach for the port on his hand is when he jerk it away, glaring at her as to say try it again and see what happens.

Dean came slowly out of the fog his head was in from the sedative Jackson gave him, opening his eyes he blink a few times to get the blurriness out of them. Looking around the room he saw Kelly standing off to one side, like she was waiting for him to awake and be alert before she approach. Knowing that Jackson had told her what to expect with him, knowing all to well what could happen when he feels threaten. Lifting himself up to sit in the bed he couldn't stop the moan that came, closing his eyes for a moment waiting for the pain to subside. When he open them he saw Kelly ready to grab his hand with a syringe, jerking it back he gave her a death glare daring her to do it again. Seeing that he wasn't getting any response from her he glance over at the door, maybe he can make his break to go see Sammy before Jackson came back. He knew his plan was foul when he heard Kelly talking to him, in a not so nice voice either.

"Don't even think about leaving that bed or going out that door, you won't even make it out of the bed young man."

"Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? Who died and left you boss?"

"For starters I'm your nurse so I can tell you what to do, second Jackson left me in charge of you."

"Well, Jackson is not the boss of me doctor or not, don't have to listen to him."

"He is your doctor and yes you have to listen to what he says, rather you like it or not Dean Winchester. You are in pain let me give you this pain killer to help relieve you, it won't put you to sleep keep this up and I will give you a sedative."

"I want to see you try give me that pain killer or a sedative ma'am, I don't normally hit a lady this time I just might."

"Is that so young man Jackson is right about you after all?"

"That I'm handsome, charming, good looking have a way with the ladies, I can swoon them off their feet."

"No, that you are stubborn as a mule and excuse the language a hard ass, we can do this the easy way or the hard depends on you Dean."

"Boy, you got bedside manners just like Jackson they suck big time, I don't need pain medicine or a sedative. What I need is to go see Sammy to make sure he's okay, get me a wheel chair so I can go see my brother."

"Dean, Jackson told you yesterday that you can't go see him with your fever, now lay back down and take it like a man not a baby."

Before Dean could retaliate Jackson walked inside the room with a so not happy face, his eyes and face were hard as stone as he glared at Dean. Strolling up to the bed the older man dare the younger man to get off the bed, with his arms cross against his chest he didn't back down to Dean. There was a staring contest between the two men not breaking eye contact; one was daring the other to make the first move to see who would fail. Jackson knew how stubborn Dean could really be when he has his mind set, so he came up with a plan to stop this childish game.

"Kelly, give him the pain killer in his ass now." He said without taking his glare from Dean.

"Don't you dare come near me with that needle."

Dean tried to keep eye contact with the doctor and at the same time keep an eye on Kelly, if he broke from Jackson he would loose the battle. Seeing movement to his left made him flinch forcing him to keep an eye on the nurse, seeing that he lost this round he pulled away from her only to be stop by Jackson.

"Dean, you need to stop this game you are playing it's not helping, Kelly let me roll him to his side then stab him in the ass."

"The hell she will, you can't roll me on my side."

"Watch me, Dean."

"Alright stop fine, give me the pain killer, are you happy now Jackson."

"Ecstatic, was that so hard Dean."

"I don't need pain killers what I need is to see Sammy."

"Dean, your temperature is still to high it's 100 the infection hasn't even cleared up, if you go see Sam right now you can kill him is that what you want."

Seeing the defeated look in Dean's eyes he knew he got the answer he wanted, taking a deep breath slowly letting it out he turned to Dean.

"I know how much you want to go see Sam especially after what happen yesterday, you need to realize his body is still too weak Dean. Before I left he had a small grade fever that's from what his body took, with the injuries, surgery heart stopping took a toll on him. If you go in there now with your infection and fever, that will be bad for him don't you understand this Dean."

"I got it Jackson I'm sorry what happen yesterday scared the shit out of me, I thought I lost my brother cause of my stupidity. I'm the reason why he is here fighting for his life is because of me, I couldn't let it go the betrayal I felt towards Sammy. Now I could really loose him and it will be my fault."

"Dean, I get it I really do but this temper and anger won't be helping Sam in any way, he don't need it right now my friend won't be good for him. I'm going to go see him right now to check up on his vitals, I need to know will you be giving my nurses anymore problems."

"No I won't be giving your nurses anymore problems Jackson, you got my word on that please let me know how Sammy is doing."

"I will Dean, Kelly can you please let the morning nurse to give Dean some breakfast, I want you to eat everything they give you. Need to build your strength back up get some food into you, along with some liquids juice will be good."

"I'll let Jamie know about his breakfast Doctor and to make sure he eats everything, if you don't need me after this I'm heading home."

"That will be all, Kelly, thank you."

Watching as the nurse leave the room Jackson looked back at Dean, he can see all the turmoil going through his head with everything that had happen. Making his leave he open the door to see Jamie coming in with breakfast, waiting her as she pulled the table to the bed placing the tray on the table. She left the room to have the patient eat in peace she will check to make sure it's all gone.

Uncovering his food, Dean groan at the slop that was his breakfast, hearing a chuckle he turned to see Jackson laughing at him. Glaring at his friend he pick up a fork with what suppose to be eggs, making a face he force himself to eat it.

Shaking his head Jackson left the room with a smile on his face, walking up to the desk Jill handing him Sam's file. She told him what happen this morning that Sam open his eyes twice, seeing a smile on the man she felt good to give him good news.

Strolling to Sam's room Jackson hope that he didn't have a fever, seeing that he had one three hours ago still a low graded one. Opening the door he walked up to the bed grabbing the thermometer he place it in his friends ear, checking his vital signs he saw they haven't change since the last visit. Hearing the peep he look at the reading with a smile across his face, his temperature is back to normal feeling relief it was just what he said.

Seeing that his breathing improve with the mask on he'll keep it until he awakes, rather be safe then sorry when it comes to his friend. As he went on checking Sam over from his injuries and burns, he felt movement from the bed glancing up he saw the man moving his head. Waiting with baited breath he hope that Sam would open his eyes all the way, didn't have to wait to long before he's eyelids open half way. Standing still he kept a close eye on the young man as he came around, blinking twice to clear his vision his eyes turned to him. What he saw in the half mass watery eyes took his breath away, he saw sorrow and helplessness in them, which he knows all about he saw them in his own.

Lifting a hand to Sam's cheek he wipe the tears away that rolled down, not saying a word he gave comfort to him in his touches. As he wipe the last of the tears dry he saw the eye slowly closing, he stayed for another five minutes to make sure he was sound a sleep. Feeling his heartbreak on the feelings he saw in his eyes, he swore he'd keep Sam safe from the hurt Dean gave him. With new determination Jackson walked out the door, he had plans to make so he and Sam can heal from the hurt.


	14. Chapter 14

Leaving Sam a sleep on the bed Jackson left the room with heaviness in his heart, seeing the tears, pain; loneliness in his eyes broke the man. He knows how Sam is feeling he's been there with Jefferson when they were at their lowest, all those feelings he felt when Jeff said all those hurtful things to him. He himself wasn't so innocent either he threw his own words at his brother, hearing those words from a person he respected, looked up to, relied upon his whole life crushed him. Just like Sam have heard them from his own brother he love and respected, only to be crushed by anger words thrown his way by someone he looked up to. Sitting behind his desk he looked over at the picture to his right of him, Jefferson, Dean and Sam, when they were so close you wouldn't think anything could tear them apart. Smiling sadly he thought back to that time when he and Jefferson visited the brothers, it was before Jeff had to leave to go back to his job. He stayed longer to help him with the Winchester Brother knowing on how Dean is, he came to respect the older brother he saw a lot of Jeff in him. As he saw a lot of himself in Sam being the younger brother, he saw what he knew what was in his eyes when he look at Dean. He saw love, respect, adoration, him being his super hero, he saw all that in Sam's eyes, he felt the same way about Jefferson even with him being a respectable doctor in his own right.

Now he sees two younger brothers who have been broken by the two older brothers they looked up too, being so hurt like someone slice of piece of your sole out of you with a sharp knife. Not having any fight left inside of you to were you want to end it all, that almost happen to Sam he was so scared of loosing his friend. It angered him to know that Dean was the one who pushed Sam to that point of his life, to think that he won't be miss if he don't come back from the brink of death. Glancing back at the picture a sad smile cross his face, he remember that day like it was yesterday they had so much fun the two days they were there.

 _June 5,1998_

 _"Jeff, let's get going already we should have left an hour ago, it's going to take us at least an hour to get there."_

 _Jackson impatiently waited for his sloth of a big brother as he waited at the door of his apartment, since the Winchester had left they didn't have to stay at the clinic anymore. At nights he and Jefferson came back to his apartment for some sleep, it felt good to be back home to sleep in his own bed again. He didn't mind staying there while Dean and Sam were there, at the time they needed them at any hour of the day or night. Since they left a week ago Jeff still stayed with his brother longer then he planned, he called his hospital telling them he'll be gone longer then expected. He wanted to be sure that Sam would be okay before he head home, he got to spend some quality time with his brother that he wanted to do. They make plans on taking the same amount of time off to spend together being brothers, this time around they couldn't cause of Sam being so sick and hurt. Now they got their week to be just brother's not doctors, they did what they had planned on doing before Sam came in. Since it's almost time for Jeff to go back they wanted to spend a few days with Dean and Sam, that is if Jackson can get his sloth of a brother out the door._

 _"Hold your horses, young man, give me a moment to get my shoes on, boy you are being pushing this morning what's the rush. I told Jim we will be there by 8 for breakfast and it's-oh it's almost seven sorry didn't realize the time. Let's get going glad I put gas in the car, bags in the trunk last night, just in case this happen."_

 _"I have been ready like an hour ago while you slept like Sleepy Beautify, tried to get you up earlier only got a cuss word thrown my way. Are you driving or am I."_

 _"I'll drive there I know where his cabin is got directions from Jim last night after you fell asleep, he said it would take a least an hour to get there with traffic. Let's hope it's not to heavy with it being a Wednesday middle of the week, if it was a Friday we'll be in trouble then-okay I will be in trouble then are you happy."_

 _Jefferson said as Jackson glared at him as the got into the car, pulling out of the parking lot they headed for the mountains. Things were going their way as they drove to Jim's cabin for leaving so late, the traffic was light all the way even going through both towns. Pulling up to the cabin just a little after eight, getting out of the car both brother's looked around at the scene before them. Now they can see why Jim loves it here so much, the beauty of nature around the cabin draws you into the calmness. Being so far from the main town the only thing they heard was the birds singing happily, the water lapping on the sandy shore was so relaxing._

 _Walking up to the cabin with bags in hand the door open for them with Jim greeting them, letting them inside he whisper to them to have a seat at the table. Taking their bags he put them by the ladder for the loft, they will put them up later after everyone had their meal. Sitting back down with his friends they talk softly among each other._

 _"Where's the boys, Jim?"_

 _"They are still sleeping, Jackson, I know believe that one, they had a late night watching T.V move it into their room. They wanted to watch some movies Bobby brought with the VCR he bought at the store, don't know how long they stayed up since I don't hear them."_

 _"Sounds like Sam is getting better from the last time we saw him at the clinic."_

 _"He is, Jefferson he's still shy and with drawl at first then he comes around in time, so don't be bothered if he shy's away from you guys. Give him space he'll come around slowly he'll speak softly to you, he won't look at you directly will keep his eyes cast down give him time."_

 _"We will Jim don't want to set him back on all the hard work he's done, the kid been through enough won't put anything else on him. What's for breakfast my friend do you need help getting it going."_

 _"I'm going to make Samuel favorite breakfast since he was a child, he still loves them don't put a smiley face on them anymore. If you want to get the fixings Jackson I need milk, eggs, chips and butter, sorry chocolate chips in the cabinet above the coffee pot along with the pancake mix."_

 _Jim got up getting the frying pan he would need alone with the mixing bowls, while Jackson got the fixing he was asked for to make their breakfast. Getting the package of sausage out of the freezer placing them in the pan to cook, getting the bowl he let Jackson make the pancake batter. By the time they got everything cook Sam came out of the bedroom, stopping just outside the door way he looked down avoiding eye contact. He stood there until Dean came out of the bathroom taking him to the table, sitting him down next to him so he's in between Sam and Jackson so he won't get nervous. Bobby and Jefferson sat on the other side of the table facing the brothers, while Jim took the head of the table saying a prayer before they ate. During their meal the older men talk among themselves giving Sam time to adjust, they avoid talking directly to him until he was comfortable enough to talk himself. Half way through their meal Jackson and Jefferson started to banter each other, with things that happen in the morning before they got there. Hearing a soft giggle made them feel good knowing it's working, they were making Sam comfortable with their presents._

 _"Jim, sorry if we got here so late, my sloth of a brother couldn't get his butt out of bed. Every time I try to wake him I got slap or a cuss word thrown at me, finally I gave up and let sleeping beauty sleep there was no way I was going to kiss him."_

 _"There will be no way in hell I would even let you kiss me little brother, you are to ugly for that rather have a frog kiss me."_

 _"I could get you one brother for tomorrow morning, just walk right out that door to the lake and get one. Bring it to you so you can be kiss, never know you just might turn into one. Or the frog die, just saying."_

 _"Ha, funny little brother if the frog does die it's cause of you not me, your ugliness will kill before you come near the thing." Jefferson shrugged his shoulders at his brother's glare, then gave him the same words back at him. "Just saying, bro."_

 _"Mom did say you were ugly and geeky when you were younger, so it must run in the genes for the ugliness. Even though mom told me that I was the better looking one, wasn't as geeky as you were so that's a plus."_

 _"Oh is that so at least mom didn't drop me on my head like she did you, that's why all the geek spilled out all over the floor. Pretty sure I saw her mopping it up after wards so she can get rid of the evidence, she didn't want all that back into your big head which shrunk after the fall."_

 _Jackson was going to respond to what his brother told him when he heard a soft giggle, looking out of the corner of his eye he saw Sam smiling. Knowing him and his brother bantering is making Sam comfortable he kept it up, placing his arms on the table he leaned towards his brother. Trying to look angry when he was happy inside, glaring at Jeff with no heat in his eyes he gave him the killer blow._

 _"Yeah, well at least mom saved the best for last when she mopped it up, she put all the smarts back into my head leaving all the stupid ones for you."_

 _Knowing what Jackson is doing for Sam getting out of his shell, he too heard the soft giggle from the boy._

 _"If that is true then why am I a better doctor then you little brother."_

 _"You might be a better doctor then me big brother, at least my patients don't go running away from me. They take one look at you and high tail it to the hills, could hear them saying 'he's to ugly let's get out of here.' as they run past me."_

 _"Of course they run past you with those looks you have-what did you say Dean?"_

 _Jefferson stop when he heard the older Winchester say something under his breath._

 _"I just said that Jackson is a whole lot better then you any day, for me to look at you Jeff I would have to drink four beers first."_

 _"One thing Dean you better not be drinking beer, and two you need to keep your trap shut."_

 _"What are you going to do if I don't keep my trap shut Jeff?"_

 _"I'll take you out back and throw you in the lake, how is that Dean."_

 _"Like to see you try Jeff you'll have to catch me first, can run circles around you old man."_

 _"Who are you calling old man young whipper-snapper, I can take you on any day of the week."_

 _"Whipper-snapper, do you even know what that means Jeff-what did you say Sammy and why are you laughing."_

 _Dean tried to hide his smile when he heard his brother laugh._

 _"I said do you know what a whipper snapper is Dean, I'm laughing cause Jeff is funny."_

 _"I know what a whipper-snapper is Sammy boy, but I'm not going to say so there."_

 _"Right, Dean, I believe you."_

 _Sam said in a soft-spoken voice that's just above a whisper._

 _"Damn right you believe me-don't give me that look young man, what did I just say-don't roll your eyes either-really Sam had to roll your eyes you are a pain in the ass little brother."_

 _Dean said as he hid his smirk from his brother, did him good to see Sammy happy again._

 _"Learned from the best, Dean."_

 _"Look at what you two idjits did now got these two going, what are we going to do with ya two."_

 _"Send the two older brothers out to chop wood for picking on us younger ones."_

 _"Got a better idea Jackson sent you two young 'ens to fetch the wood, have these two knuckle heads to chop it."_

 _Both Sam and Jackson looked over at Bobby who had a stern look on his face, even though his eyes twinkle with delight. Turning their gazes to their brothers they all got out of their seats, heading to the back door to do as told. Once when they got outside Sam looked over at Jackson nervously, biting his bottom lip he glances over at Dean for reassurance. Walking over to Sam Dean gave him a comfort pat on the shoulder, letting him know it's okay to go with Jackson and that Bobby wasn't mad._

 _"It's okay Sammy Bobby not mad at us for picking on each other, we do need some wood chop go with Jackson and get some from the place we get it."_

 _Getting Dean's okay Sam led Jackson to the area of the forest where they got the wood from; it's close to the cabin so Dean won't be out of his sight. As they walked to the tree lines Sam kept his distance from the man, Jackson didn't take any offense from it since he knew he's still a little leery. Gathering the wood Jackson was startle when Sam asked him a question, was the first time he talked to him since he was under his care._

 _"Jackson-Dean told me you-you are proud of me."_

 _Sam asked the man before him in a weak spoken voice, like he's afraid to talk out loud in fear of being yelled at._

 _"Yes, I am proud of you Sam on how well you recovered from your injuries, told Dean it would take a few days to get yourself doing things on your own." Seeing the boy hung his head he could've kick himself, knowing what he was thinking he to let him know it's not that. " I don't mean it that way Sam your body went through hell with the abuse, then getting the infection in your lungs took a toll on your body. Had to put you in a drug induce coma for a week to help you heal, when I brought you out of it I was please to see how well you did. After the attack with Brian ghost you fought back to get better for Dean, I saw how strong you really are Sam I wouldn't be that strong if it was me."_

 _"If it was you would have never happen, you are not weak like me."_

 _"Sam, you are not weak young man who ever told you that is lying believe me when I say it, I have seen patient who have less then you did and stop fighting. They didn't want to deal with what happen to them so they gave up, no matter what I did wasn't good enough to keep them going. You my friend fought every step of the way to get here, I'm proud of you Sam Winchester."_

 _Seeing the awe in his eyes made Jackson heart hurt for the boy, he didn't believe what he said was true. It made him angry at John for making the strong boy before him feel this way, gathering the wood they headed back to their brother's before they sent a search party for them._

 _As the brothers chop and stacked wood taking turns with the ax, bring the wood to the shed were Jim keeps it stored. Putting some on the porch for the fire place to have a nice warm fire that night, as they finished and cleaning the area Bobby came out calling them in for lunch. As they all walked back into the cabin Sam asked Jackson if he would play ball with him, biting his bottom lip nervously._

 _"Jackson after we eat do you want to play ball with me, then swim in the lake after wards."_

 _"I would like that Sam to play ball with you as long as you like, then go swimming in the lake with these two idiots."_

 _Jackson and Sam laughed as Jefferson tried but fail to hit his brother, he didn't mind at all if it got Sam to laugh._

 _After lunch was cleared and dishes washed everyone when out side to play, Jackson and Sam through the ball around for a few hours together. At one point they played monkey in the middle with Jeff and Dean, keeping the ball away from the older brothers. When they got hot and sweaty they got into their swimming shorts to take a dip, while they played the wrestle each other off their brother's shoulders. Of course Jefferson and Jackson let Dean and Sam win every round they did, when they were bored of that they would race each other. As the sun started to set Jim cooked burgers and hot dogs on the grill, while Bobby got all the fixings out on the picnic table for dinner. Calling the boys out of the water they all sat at the table to eat, both Jim and Bobby were happy Sam finally came out of his shell with Jackson._

 _After cleaning up and doing the dishes Dean brought the T.V and VCR out to watch a movie, Jim got the fire started in the fire place to make desert. Asking what movies everyone wanted to watch they all pick Indiana Jones and Star Wars, after watching one movie Jim brought out the sticks for S'Mores to eat. Giving the sticks to Jackson and Sam they let them go first for theirs, Sam of course showed his new friend how to make them. Jackson let him even though he knew how to do it himself, didn't have the heart to say anything and ruin what they started. Sitting back down with their deserts they watch the other movie they pick, by the time the movie was over Sam was a sticky mess of chocolate and marsh mellows, shaking his head Dean still can't figure out how Sam does it get all sticky._

 _"Sam, how do you get all gooey every time we eat these, you get more on you then in you."_

 _"How can you not Dean they are so good to eat, Jackson do you want to go on a hike with us tomorrow."_

 _Sam looked over at his new friend with chocolate covering his mouth, and excitement in his eyes about the hike tomorrow. Seeing the look in Sam's eyes Jackson couldn't crush the kid, telling him yes that he will go. Hearing a exciting Yes coming from the kid he knew he did the right thing, smiling as he watch Dean take Sam into the bathroom for a shower._

 _After taking their shower Jackson and Jefferson climb the ladder to the loft, Bobby and Jim had already got their bags up there earlier. Getting themselves ready for bed Jefferson was pleased that Sam took to his brother, he knew they both would hit it off once when Sam came around and he was right. Pulling the covers down on the Queen size bed both brother's got comfortable, sitting their thinking over the day they were both happy how it went. Glancing over at Jeff who had a smile on his face as he looked ahead, Jackson smile to see his brother so happy and care free._

 _"Jefferson, Sam really open up today we got along so well, even though it was a rough start at first."_

 _"Sam is a good kid Jackson really smart as a whip enjoys life, wish you got to see him before now when he's like this."_

 _"If he's anything like what I seen today we'll would still hit it off immediately, we do have a lot in common even with our ages being so far apart."_

 _"Yes, you two do have a lot in common Jack I see a lot of Sam in you, I have the best little brother a brother could asked for. Dean would say no to that since he would say it's Sam, we both have the best little brothers around."_

 _"Thanks Jeff, Sam and I can say the same about our older brothers, we have the best ones then anyone else does."_

 _"Well we need to get to bed brother if I know Sam he'll be up bright and early, he really look excited about the hike tomorrow."_

 _Saying their good nights both brothers's laid down a sleep before their head hit the pillows._

 _Dean and Sam sat on their beds talking about the day they had, Sam was too excited to sleep so he sat in Dean's bed. He couldn't stop talking about all the fun he had with Jackson, Dean smile at the happiness his brother was in he enjoyed it. Knowing he had to get his brother calm down enough to sleep, lying down in bed tugging him with him he laid Sam's head on his chest. Carding his fingers through his hair he talked to him in a soft voice, knowing this always works when he's this round up after an exciting day._

 _"Where do you want to go for the hike tomorrow Sammy."_

 _"We would need to asked Jim where there a good trail we can go to, I want to see the deer, wolves, bears and other animals."_

 _"The deer we might get to see little brother, as for the others don't know if we will or not see them."_

 _"Maybe Jim knows of a place we can get to see them, will bring a camera of Jim's to take pictures of them. He knows this area really well to where we can see them all, even maybe (yawn) young ones we can see to."_

 _Sam's eyes felt heavy as he talked with Dean about tomorrow hike to see the animals, slowly his eye lids closed all the way his breathing even out. Dean knew he was out for the count specially when he snuggle closer to him, wrapping his arms around his brother he held him close as he fell into a deep sleep._

 _Early the next morning Jackson and Jefferson were woken up by Sam yelling for them, getting out of bed they headed for the ladder looking down they saw a fully dressed Sam. Seeing the excitement in his eyes they told him they'll be right down, getting themselves ready for the day they climb down to eat breakfast. While Bobby and Jefferson clean the table got the dishes washed they listen to Sam talked, did Bobby heart good to hear his boy be so talkative again. Jim was getting things ready for their hike they are going on, grabbing bags he put sandwiches, chips, fruit and drinks and power bars. He knew where they were heading didn't want to spoiled the surprise for Sam, hearing the brother's talking last night he made his mind up. Taking one car the Impala with it being bigger then Jackson car, they all pile in with Sam in the back with Dean and Jackson. Leaving Bobby to drive the car, Jim giving him directions, Jefferson listening to Sam talking Jackson ears off._

 _Driving through the gates they heard an excited 'no way' from Sam as they pulled into the Sawtooth National Park, asking the attendant, which trail, was the best to see wildlife they got the directions. Pulling into the parking lot they all got out of the car gathering by the beginning of the path, Jim and Bobby got the bags out giving each one their own bag. As the walked down the path Sam looked up and down to find the animals, spotting a doe and fawn he took a picture with Jim's camera. Further up he saw a mother Moose and calf keeping their distance, knowing how protective the mother can be of her baby. Two hours into the hike they all were getting hungry finding a table they sat down to eat, Dean notice Sam a little sad he didn't want Sammy like this now. Knowing why he had to keep his brother's spirits up, they still have a ways to go before turning back._

 _"Sammy, we still have a ways to go on the path, we still might see the wolves and bears you want to see."_

 _"Dean, we've been on the path for two hours now, the only animals we've seen is a doe, fawn, moose and her baby, squirrels, rabbits no bears or wolves."_

 _"Samuel, the ones you want to see will be in the meadows we'll be heading there after lunch, we'll have a better chance of seeing them in that area then the woods."_

 _Jim tried to make Sam feel better and put the smile back on his face._

 _"If you say so Jim I hope we do get to see them."_

 _Sam said as he sulked at the table, he really wanted to see those two animals._

 _Dean said a quick prayer that his Sammy would see those two animals, seeing Jim smiling at him he tried to smile back. After cleaning up making sure not leaving anything behind, they threw away their trashed in the bins provided by the park. Heading further down the path coming to a clearing Dean said a quick prayer they'll be there, seeing Sam looking around slowly he kept a eye out for them too. When they came to the area of the path where it open to the meadow they stop to look around, what they saw was green grass with a flowers of blues, yellows, pinks and purples, they saw rocks and boulders spread across the opening. Hearing a sad sigh Dean get a little angry his prayer didn't work for Sammy, as he moved to be with his little brother he heard an exciting scream coming from him. Rushing up he saw what got his little brother so excited with his scream he did, about a yard out he saw a small pack of wolves playing. Keeping a close eye on Sam he watch with amusement as Sam jerk Jackson around, who didn't mind it one bit he had a smile on his face when he saw them. Sam started to tell Jackson about the pack structure, which was what and how they hunt._

 _"Jackson, look, there's a pack of Wolves over there, that's the alpha male and female you can see by the way they are standing. The one on the ground is a beta it's a lower rank wolf then the two alphas, they have cubs you see the cubs over there how cool."_

 _Jackson listen to Sam telling him something he already knew about the animals, he didn't want to ruin the excitement the boy has. He kept talking about how the alpha pair leads the hunts, while the beta stays with the cubs to protect them. They all lost track of time watching the wolves play with each other, until something scared them off which sadden Sam he wanted them to stay longer. His sadness didn't stay to long when he saw what scared the wolves off, hitting Jackson hard on the arm shaking Dean hard he pointed to the animal. Lumbering out of the forest was a big sow bear with two cubs in tow, Bobby and Jim made sure they were far enough away from the mother bear. They didn't want her to feel threaten with them being around, if she decided to charge there was nothing they could do to stop her. Keeping a close eyes on her she lead her young cubs further into the meadow away from them, waiting until she was out of sight is when they walked further down the trail. They were all happy that Sammy got to see the two animals he wanted to see, what brought his happiness to a whole new level was seeing a Cougar. Knowing how elusive the cougars are they were all happy to see one on the rocks, by the size it was a younger one to old to be with the mother, to young to be an adult._

 _It was getting time to head back to the Impala they group were really please how the day went, Sammy got to see three animals you normally don't see that often. Walking past the meadow were they saw them he looked over the area, hoping to see anyone of them again with no such luck he was happy any way. As they reach the car they all pile in heading to a diner for dinner, while their they talked about all the things they got to see. Arriving back to the cabin they all took their showers, had some more desert of S'Mores, watch a movie before heading to bed. Sam was a little sad that Jackson and Jefferson had to leave the next day; he really enjoyed his time with Jackson he bonded with him as a friend. The next morning Jim took a picture of Jefferson, Jackson, Dean and Sam by the lake, with the mountains in the background promising they all get a picture._

 **Back to present day**

Jackson sat behind his desk as the memory faded from his mind about that day, blinking his eyes he felt his cheeks wet. Wiping them he was surprise he was crying didn't even notice being so lost in thought, those two days at the cabin was so much fun for both brothers it was hard to leave. They both had to get back to work and their lives, they wanted to get back together again with Jim, Bobby and the Winchester boys. Things just kept getting into the way when they wanted to do it, then Jim pass away, Bobby passing, then Jefferson passing, just didn't seem fit to be with the brothers.

Now here's he is with both brothers hurting in different ways and he's in the middle of it, with one he has some anger with, while the other his heart is broken. He's torn on how he should handle both of the brothers without getting burned by one, no matter what he does one will be very angry with the outcome. While the other one he'll have to be supportive, patient, caring when his own heart is breaking, this will be the hardest task he'll every have to do on his own without his brother for back up. Dividing the two Winchester brothers apart so he can help one get over his pain, while the other has to get rid of his anger and resentment. Either way he'll be right smack dab in the middle of the war zone, without having any kind of back up to be on his side.

Feeling tired all of a sudden he got up walked over to the couch to laid down for awhile, his body felt so exhausted bone tired he needed the rest. Closing his eyes he knew both brothers will be okay for just an hour, not knowing there's a storm brewing with one certain brother and a nurse.

~~~SPN~~~

Finishing her rounds giving the patients their meals for the day, Gillian walked up to the door of one Dean Winchester. She knew he was one of Jackson patients and a close friend of his, she looked around to see if anyone was around before she open the door. Seeing the man on the bed looking straight ahead not seeing her, she grabbed a plate for his dinner taking another gander down the hallway she stepped inside. Walking over to the table she place the plate on it as she rolled it over to the man, seeing it was in the right position she open the lid placing it next to the plate. Pulling a package of a fork and knife from her pocket, she laid it next to the plate then stood there waiting for the man to turned to her.

Dean heard the door open knowing it was a nurse bringing his dinner he ignored her, his mind was on Sammy wondering how he's doing. He had to go see his little brother has to check up on him see how he's doing, yes Jackson said he was doing fine after what happen in the room. Dean had to check it out for himself his definition of fine when it comes to Sam, is for him seeing with his own two eyes his little brother breathing, looking pale or on deaths door, he has to know himself. Right now his own body is failing him at the moment, with the cut and infection that's still there is rendering him to do anything. Feeling more then seeing the nurse next to him and is still there annoyed him, glancing over with annoyance in his eyes he looked at her. Most times with a pretty nurse he'll be flirting, asking for her number, getting her into bed, this time he wants nothing to do with her. Raising his eyebrows he wonder why she is still here, sighing an annoying sigh he turned to her to asked her to leave.

"Would you please leave my room, don't want to talk or eat so please leave take the plate with you."

"Sorry, can't take the food with me Jackson wants you to eat, speaking of him I heard you are good friends with him."

Rolling his eyes with annoyance at the mention of Jackson he glared at the nurse, he really wanted to be by himself not with someone who thinks Jackson is a friend.

"Lady-Gillian what Jackson is to me it's none of your business so stay out of it, I would like you to leave my room now or I'll call to have you removed."

"I only want to know what kind of man he is away from work, here he's so serious about everything hardly smiles when he's around. I find him so attractive yet secretive at the same time like he's hiding something's, want to know more about him I think he's so sexy-"

Gillian flinch when Dean went off on her in a very angry tone in his voice.

"You think I want to hear this about Jackson that you have a crush on him, that is the last thing I want to hear bitch. I don't give a rats ass on how you feel about the man he's a fucking liar, he's not a friend of mine anymore not since he took my brother from me."

"Take this god damn plate and get the hell out of here bitch, don't fuck with me right now with your feeling for him. I said get the hell out of my room now or else."

Making his attentions know he shoved the plate hard off the table, flying to the floor smashing as it hit spilling the food all over the floor and wall. Breathing hard he glared with dark hard eyes at the lady still standing there, having her in the room made his anger grew more hotter like hot coals on a fire. Nose flaring eyes burning hot with anger he ripped into her with two full barrels, he didn't hold back one bit what surprise him was his voice being low but dangerous.

"Bitch, I said I want you out of my room now I don't want to listen to you, your crush you have on Jackson take it and shoved it up your ass. You really think I want to hear this right now when I only want to see my brother, better start backing up to that door right now won't say it again-what did you just say."

Standing in the middle of the room shaking in fear of the man on the bed, Gillian said in a quiet voice on Jackson plans with Sam.

"He-he said-he's taken-Sam away-"

What Dean heard took him over the edge to a whole new level of anger to the man, how dare he take his brother from his life. With hot flowing lava burning in his veins he moved so fast out of bed it made the nurse run, before she got to the door Mark came rushing in with Kelly right behind him. Both of them tackle Dean to the floor who fought with all the strength he had, his anger drew him on to battle his way out of the room. Even with his body being so weak from fighting the infection, his anger over took that and he fought his way to the door.

His scream was full of fury when the held him down on the floor, it was almost like a feral animal cries more then human. Looking over at the door he saw black dots forming in his vision before everything was getting blurry, he fought harder against the pulled of going under he didn't need to sleep right now. What he needed is to go after Jackson with both guns blazing hot, was the last thing he thought before everything went black.

Letting out a sign of relief when the patient went limp on the floor after the sedative was given, slowly he lifted himself off the body of the man. With the orderly help they got Dean back on the bed hooked back up on fluids, not liking his heart rate beating so fast he stayed to see if the sedative will do it's work. Slowly his heart rate went down to a level he could breath with, even if it's still high it's not what it was like twenty minutes ago. He had to know what was going on in the room before he walked by, Gillian was going to be fired for what she pulled if this was her fault, which he knew it was. She will be in a room by herself until Dean wakes up to tell his side of the story, from what he saw of the man the anger in his eyes he don't want to be by himself. Looking at the readings he saw that the heart beat was back down to almost regular, it was only a few numbers to high but it's almost to regular beating. Looking over at Kelly he could see how worried she is of the patient on what just happen, hearing her cuss he looked over to see blood on his left side. Removing the bandage they saw he pulled all his stitches blood flowing out, knowing they have to stop the bleeding he went to the cabinet grabbing the needle and thread. Cleaning the puss from the wound with antiseptic fluids and peroxide , he work on stitching the wound close making sure to leave a drainage tube in the wound. After he was done he check the readings again while Kelly took his vitals, seeing that he had a slight temperature from what he went through and the infection. Giving him a shot to help keep it low while his body recovers from the stress, taking one more look over everything leaving him in the good hands of Kelly. He had to go tell Jackson on what happen to Dean and what was said, he did hear the last part that wasn't suppose to be spread. That means that she listens to the personal conversation he and Jackson had, she will not be working in his hospital any longer this was her last straw.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Making her morning rounds, Gillian headed to the nurses station to file some papers, as she turned down the hall that lead to the station is when she notice Jackson going inside Matt's office. Stepping up to the door looking up and down the hallway to see if anyone was coming, standing at the door with ear press to it she listen to what was being said. Every so often she would glance around to make sure no-one saw what she was doing, knowing this wasn't the best thing for her to do at the moment couldn't help herself. She still has a crush on Jackson even though she been warned to stay away from him, Matt even made sure their work schedule didn't combine with the other at least he tried. There would have been times they would cross paths with each other, she was not to talk or be in the same room with him while they are there. Gillian was thrill to be back on the third floor again she hated the fifth floor, since Jackson hardly ever visited even though his ex-girlfriend worked there. She didn't like Tracey at all, she despises her with a passion, in her mind she is the one who ruin her relationship with Jackson.

As she listened to the conversation between the two friends about a certain patient, she couldn't help but wonder if it was the one in ICU. She has seen Jackson coming from the room from time to time the past few days, then seeing him coming from another room a few doors down to see someone else. There were two patient that he's been seeing with the help of his two nurses Jill and Kelly, they wouldn't tell her anything about their patients to her knowing how she is. Knowing she can't go into the ICU since she didn't have the experience or the authorization, she would go for the one who's a few doors down from there. She would have to wait until she can find the time to do so, knowing that he is a friend of Jackson he might know things about him.

Ever since they started to work together on the third floor with Jackson being the Doctor, Gillian being the RN of the nurses station who was in charge of the others. Jackson being the kind hearted man he is took Gillian under his wing, to show her some pointers to help ease the patients when the as under a lot of stress. In the first year of them working together she started to have a crush on him, seeing him as her boyfriend when he only saw her as a nurse. Hearing that the Doctors were finishing their meeting behind closed doors, she rushed back to the station before the door even open with Jackson walking out. Letting the other nurse know she taking a break she headed to the lounge room, sitting in the corner away from the others she thought back to the time where she thought Jackson would ask her out.

 _December 20 2010_

 _Coming out of the room of the patient she been taking care of the last two days, Gillian hope that he would be leaving soon to have Christmas at home with family. The elder man came in four days ago with his wife worried sick, he was complaining of chest pains and shortness of breath. Thinking it was a heart attack his wife rushed him to the hospital, as soon as the arrived in the Emergency Room he collapse on the floor. As she yelled for help Gillian called for a gurney and Doctor to the waiting room, seeing the two orderlies and ER Doctor running down the hall she pointed to the couple._

 _The ER Doctor move the other visitors out of the way for the orderlies to pass, kneeling down he check the man over for any broken bones or injuries. Seeing none he asked the other men to help him carefully lift him to the gurney, making sure he supported his neck while the other two men supported his spine with Gillian taking care of his legs. Rushing him to room 6 they hooked him up to EKG to monitor his heart rate, checking his pulse, getting blood work, putting him on fluids. Chris who is the Doctor checking over the man, asked Gillian to get some Nitroglycerin in liquid forum so he can insert the medicine in the port. Putting him on oxygen he waited for the nurse to returned with what he asked for, seeing her running back with vial and syringe she got the dose they needed. Taking it from her he put the needle into the port after getting the air out, pushing down on the syringe slowly putting the medicine in his blood stream. Talking to the man on the bed in a soft comforting voice to sooth his fears, as the drug did it's job to help reduce pressure on his heart to help the blood flow easier. As the man relax under his care Chris kept a close eye on his vitals, seeing that his heart rate is slowing down to a normal rhythm. Sighing in relief he asked the nurse to call Doctor Jackson down to room 6, he needed someone who is better suited for this kind of treatment. He didn't have to wait to long before the Doctor came running into the room, taking his place where Chris was standing he started to asked questions._

 _"Chris, what happen with the patient?"_

 _"He came in with his wife who said he was complaining about chest pains, when they arrived he collapse on the floor holding his chest. The two orderlies and I lifted him after I check him over for any kind if injuries, supported his neck and back rushed him in here giving him fluids, oxygen and Nitroglycerin. His heart rate when he came in was 190/80 his pulse was 70 beats per minute, since we have him the medicine his heart rate is now 175/70 his pulse is 65."_

 _"You did the right thing Chris on the treatment you gave him got his heart rate down, he seems to be breathing better from what you are telling me. Let's see if he can talk to us about what happen, we'll take it slow don't want to rush him."_

 _"Sir, do you know where you are, if so nod you head yes or no."_

 _Seeing the man nodding his head yes Jackson was pleased._

 _"That's good sir, what is your name and age?"_

 _Waiting for the man to answer Jackson thought for a minute he didn't hear him, hearing a soft response he leaned in closer._

 _"F-Frank, 65."_

 _"You are doing good Frank, do you still have chest pains."_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Any shortness of breath-okay don't talk, Frank just rest we'll talk to your wife."_

 _Hearing a raspy breath Jackson didn't want him to answer him, he rather have him save his breath and not talk. Turning to Chris told him he's going to talk to his wife, while Gillian calls up for a room in ICU._

 _"Chris, I'm going to talk to his wife she's in the waiting room right, okay while I'm doing that Gillian will you please call ICU. Let them know we have a patient who needs intensive care now."_

 _Seeing his nurse going to do as he asked of her, he wonder what is she doing down here anyway. Saving that for another time he had to go talk to Frank's wife._

 _Walking up to the nurses' station he asked for the papers to the man in room 6, he had to make sure he has the right person to talk to. Checking over the papers he knew whom he should be calling for, walking into the crowded room he called for Frank's family._

 _"The family of Frank Williams."_

 _Seeing an elder woman trying to stand he rushed up to her to help, taking her arm he gently lifted her off the chair. Leading her to a room for privacy he help her to sit down._

 _"Mrs. Williams your husband Frank did indeed suffer from a heart attack, what kind he did we'll have to do some more test to see. I don't want to say much until we get the test back before I know anything; we are taking him to ICU so we can keep a close eye on him. Once when we get him comfortable you'll be able to see him, once when I get all the test back go through the reading I will know more."_

 _"I tried to talk to Frank asked him some questions, only got a few before he couldn't breath very well. I need to asked you some questions before I know how to treat him, are you up to answering some."_

 _Jackson could see how shaken up the wife is, if she couldn't he'll wait until she calms down some more. Seeing her shaking her head he got his paper out to asked questions._

 _"Yes, young man, I can answer your questions, please call me Marge Mrs. Williams make me sound really old."_

 _She told Jackson with a twinkle in her eyes, who laugh to himself seeing it._

 _"For starters did Frank have a heart attack or complain about chest pains before today?"_

 _"No, he hasn't, young man."_

 _"Has he had any shortness of breath, tired easily, exhausted after walking? And please, call me Jackson."_

 _"No he did not do any of those, Jackson, he was fine until this afternoon while we were out shopping. Getting our grand kids some Christmas gifts at the store down the street, we were there for almost an hour before he complained of chest pains. Brought him here right away with the help of one of the employees, she drove us here helped me get him in the hospital."_

 _"Has he had any blood clots in the past?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Is he allergic to any kind of medicine, does he have Diabetes?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Is he taking any kind of medicine or aspirin of any kind?"_

 _"He takes Bayer aspirin when he gets headaches or any kind of pain."_

 _"Thank you for answering my questions Marge, about Frank, let me see if he's in his room already." Calling to the ICU he asked if Frank Williams has been emitted to his care, which room he was in getting the information he stood up going to Marge he led her to Frank's room._

 _"He's all settle in his room he's resting right now, he might be out of it for awhile since they gave him a sedative. I'll take you there myself Marge Gillian make sure they have a comfortable chair for her."_

 _Leading the elderly lady to her husband room Gillian heart swell, at how compassionate he is with the patient and their family. Calling to let the nurses know about the chair she followed them to the room, helping the wife into the chair she waited until she was comfortable before leaving. That was two days ago now he's in a regular room, Jackson sees him twice a day to make sure he's recovering nicely. Marge joke about how Jackson flirted with her in his room to her husband, who rolled his eyes at her with a smile on his face. Even telling him that she is one beautiful lady in his eyes, the best catch he has ever made in his life. The couple made him laugh every time he was in the room, that what started her to fall in love with Jackson was his love for life._

 _Seeing Jackson down the hall she walked up to him before she left for home, letting him know there's a winter fair in town and if he wanted to go._

 _"I just checked up on Frank he's doing really good, hoping he'll be home for Christmas to see his grand kids."_

 _"I already talk to him if he's doing better by Monday in two days, he would be able to go home by the 23rd. Two days before Christmas he'll be able to be there to see them open their presents, he's worried about the gifts they left behind told them the store took care of it."_

 _"That would be great. Jackson will be so happy to see him go home to spend time with his family, there's something I need to asked you there's a fair in town do you want to go with me."_

 _"Yes, it would be nice-hold on I'm talking about Frank going home Gillian, you know I don't date nurses. That's a rule I have since I've been here you know that, I already have a date to go to the winter fair."_

 _"I thought you might change your mind, don't have to be a date could be two friends going out to have fun."_

 _"Gillian, I'm your boss you know the rules when it comes to that, you are my nurse not my friend I don't make friends with people I work with."_

 _With that said Jackson walked up to the nurses station to hand in his paper work and orders, for the night shift to take over to check up on his patients. As he walked to his office to get his coat to go home Tracey walked up to him, hugging him as she kiss him on the lips before they walked down the hallway. Gillian seethed with angered when she saw Tracey kissing her boyfriend right in front of her, with blood boiling mad she rushed out of the hospital to see them getting into his car. As they drove off she screamed in anger at the whore who took her man, she didn't care who heard her she was furious at Tracey._

 _"How dare you whore steal my man from me, I'll make you pay for it."_

 _The next two weeks Gillian spread rumors about her and Jackson on how they slept together, that they were engage to be married by New Years. She would tell this to anyone who would listen to her knowing that it would get back to Tracey, seeing her walking up to the station to turned in her patients papers Gillian started up._

 _"Jackson and I have wonderful sex last night at his apartment after we had dinner, drank some wine listen to some relaxing music. Got in the mood he lead me to his bed were we had made love all night, he not once thought of that witch Tracey is all me. Oh hi Tracey got to go have a date."_

 _Gillian walked away being so proud of herself when she saw the shock look in her eyes, she knew it bothered her so she'll keep it up. Then the witch could leave Jackson alone so she can have him all to herself, she'll ramp it up by saying other things so she can get Tracey fired. The next day Gillian kept up the lies she was saying to hurt Tracy, every time she saw them leaving together her anger grew hotter._

 _"Tracey, you do know that Jackson loves me not you, he told me so last night after we made love again. We are going to be engage by New Years get married next year in the spring, I'll even invite you to the wedding if you want to come."_

 _"We even have a quiet dinner in his office one night by candle light, it was so romantic just the two of us. He took me to a nice restaurant the other night for a Christmas surprise which I have on me, it's such a beautiful necklace don't you think she here it is."_

 _"We are even going to see a romantic movie tonight before we have our dinner, then we are going back to his place for a night cap. Hey don't you want to hear what it's going to be-"_

 _Seeing her walking up to Jackson to have a talk to him about her, she stormed over planting a kiss on his lips in front of everyone. Pushing her back roughly he growled at her for what she just did, watching Tracey who didn't say anything the whole time walked off. Glaring at her he grabbed her by the arm leading her to Matt's office, once inside she tried to kiss him again only to be shoved away._

 _Turning to his friend Jackson told him what she has been doing, hearing everything Matt glared at Gillian who was looking at Jackson with lust in her eyes. Which in turned disgusted both of the Doctors, turning to her Matt told her to pack her things she leaving._

 _"Gillian is what Jackson is saying the truth, on what you have been saying about him and you."_

 _"Of course it's the truth right baby."_

 _"Don't call me that Gillian I'm not in love with you so back off, I'm in love with Tracey so get over yourself."_

 _"How can you love that whore she don't love you like I-"_

 _Gillian stopped talking when Jackson's rage came upon her._

 _"Don't you dare call Tracey that name every again Miss Walker, you have no right spreading lies about me and you. That is all they are lies and it needs to stop now this is sexual harassment you are doing, I will be pressing charge against you so will Tracey for the damage you have done."_

 _Jackson felt himself being pulled away from Gillian personal space, he didn't realize he was that close to her. Taking a step back breathing hard he turned to his friend Matt, there was something he needed to say to him._

 _"Matt, if she is not off this floor or out of this hospital I will leave, won't be here with her ruining my repetition that I work so hard for. Some thing has to be done with her or I'm gone."_

 _With that Jackson walked out of the office heading down to the parking lot, looking for Tracey to have a talk with her. Seeing her crying next to her car he walked up to her gently touching her shoulder, turning her around he held her close as she cried bringing tears to his own eyes. When she calm down he pulled her away just a little, looking down at her he had something to say to her._

 _"Trace, there's nothing between me and Gillian that's all in her head, you are my girlfriend not her I love you very much."_

 _"Jack I love you to honey but this won't work out with her being here, will give us to much grief to be together as a couple."_

 _"I told Matt she had to leave or I will, let's see what happens maybe our relationship hasn't been ruined."_

 _"I don't want our friendship being ruined either Jack not from her, right now I can't be in a relationship with you. I hope you understand honey I still love you that won't change, right now we can't be a couple I'm sorry that I hurt you."_

 _"Trace, you didn't hurt me Gillian hurt us, I do understand your choice you made I really do. Let's stay as friends and see how that goes from here, I don't want to loose your friendship sweetie."_

 _Jackson brought her back into a hug before letting her go, watching her getting into the car to go home for the day. Standing there he looked up at the sky and yelled out of angered, when he was done he walked back into the hospital to see what Matt has done._

Back to present

Gillian couldn't help herself on how she feels about Jackson after all these years, she demoted from her job as head nurse, was suspended for a week, was on probation for a year. To her it was all worth it if it broke up Jackson and Tracey, she still didn't like them being friends with each other. Now with her probation over with she had a choice where to work, she pick for third floor to work with Matt and be near Jackson. When Matt found out he had a talk with her, the CEO, and head of the Doctors about her behavior, she was not to be any where near Jackson at all can't talk to him, be in the same room even with other staff. She didn't like all the restricts they put on her to be back here again, she would only work as a nurse who bathed, bring food, change linen that was all she could do.

Coming back from her lunch she was getting ready to bring the patients their food, as she walked down the hallway with the lunch cart she saw Kelly leaving the room. Knowing Dean wasn't one of her patients since he was Jackson's, she went into his room any way to get some information about him. She wasn't ready for the outburst she gotten from the older brother, she didn't know what to do when he threw the plate at her. Then when she told him about Jackson's plan with Sam she was scared stiff, she couldn't move when she saw the hatred in his eyes his face going hard with angered. When he lunge at her is when she ran to the door, only to be pushed back by Kelly and Matt who ran to Dean laying on the floor. When they finally got him sedated is when Matt turned to her with very anger eyes, she knew that he heard her asked about Jackson that got Dean angered. Watching as Jill came in to see if she could help with the older brother, Matt turned to her asking her to take Gillian out of the room.

"Matt, Kelly is there something I can do to help you guys with Dean?" Jill said in a worry voice.

"Yes Jill take Gillian to my office keep her there until I get back, I have to go get Jackson since he's Dean's Doctor. I have a creepy feeling this boy is not out of the woods right now, something is wrong and I need to talk with Jack."

"You got it Doctor, let's go Gillian you did enough damage to last a life time."

Before she could answer Jill grabbed her arm roughly as she pushed her out the door, heading to Matt's office she pushed her inside before she stepped through the door. Taking one look down the hall she saw Matt running to Jackson office, she felt so bad for Dean hearing him scream like that crushed her heart. Closing the door behind her she glared at Gillian who sat on the couch, looking like she did nothing wrong when she did something big. Jill can see why she has a crush on Jackson he's a very handsome man, he's tall and muscular knows how to carry himself, his hair is black shoulder length, has the most gorgeous brown eyes that are so dreamy. His smile melts your heart that reaches his eyes with a twinkle; it's so big that his dimples and eye crinkles shows. He has the rugged looked like a mountain man, clean shaved face that's that shows off his chisel chin. If she wasn't married she might asked him out for a date, but of course she wouldn't even if she could they are friends that's more important to her.

~~~SPN~~~

Watching as Jill did as he asked he turned to Kelly to see a worried look in her eyes, seeing blood on his left side he knew his stitches busted open when he fell. Getting the wound clean, sewed with drainage tube in place he glance over at Kelly, he knew that Dean would be in good hands with her while he gets Jackson. Rushing out the door he headed straight to Jackson office in a full run, not even bothering to knock on the door he pushed it open. Seeing the Doctor a sleep on his couch he kneel next to him, shaking his shoulders a little to hard then he intended to wake him. Flinching when his friend shot up from the couch, looking around in a defensive posture before he knew where he was and who was with him. Glancing at Matt who knew something major happen to one of his patients, thinking it was Sam he was about to run out the door before Matt stop him. Seeing the confusion in his friend eyes, Matt took a deep breath to let Jackson know what has happen, knowing the damn will break.

"Jackson, wait it's not Sam sorry I made you think it was, it's Dean-let me tell you as we go back to his room."

Leading his friend out of his office the rushed back to the older brother's room, seeing Kelly being really worried about her patient got Jackson worried. Coming around the bed he looked Dean over seeing the drainage tube and blood, he glance over at Matt to get some kind of answer on what happen here.

"Matt what the hell happened to Dean?"

"Gillian was in the-"

"What the hell was Gillian doing in the room Kelly? You were even keeping a close eye on him right." Seeing a nod he press on. "The how in the hell did that bitch get into his room?"

"Doctor, she came in after I check him over when I left he was angry, he wanted to see his brother even yelled at me when I said no. When I sat down at my desk I heard him yelling before hearing something crashing to the floor, I saw Matt coming down the hall grabbed him we ran to the room."

"That is when I open the door to see Gillian standing next to the door, we both pushed her back to get to Dean. He was laying on the floor trying to crawl out the door, it took Matt and I to keep him in place. Finally he got to give Dean the sedative to knock him out, we got him back on the bed that is when I notice he pulled his stitches. Saw blood and puss coming from the wound before Matt clean and sew it back, placing the drainage tube to help drain the infection it's not healing right Doctor."

"There's something else Jackson he found out about you and Sam-I didn't say a word I promise I wouldn't. He heard it from Gillian she must have listen in to our conversation, right now she is in my office with Jill watching her. Kelly is right his wound isn't healing right there must be something in it, I clean the best that I could at the time he's going to need surgery."

"Kelly," Is all that Jackson got out when she was on the phone calling for an opening.

"There's an opening now Doctor they are waiting for you."

"You are the best Kelly sorry if I yelled at you."

"Don't be sorry Doctor go get our patient fix up, bring him back in one piece."

Nodding his head Matt and Jackson pushed the gurney out of the room, rushing to the elevator hitting the bottom to take them to the floor they needed. Once when the door opened they both ran down the hall, bursting through the doors to the room that was waiting for them. As both Doctors got scrub up the ER person got Dean ready, by the time they got back Dean was prep from the surgery.

Taking off the bandage cutting the stitches removing the tube from the wound, Jackson clean the area the best he could with all the bleeding and puss. When he would get it clean more pus would come along with the blood, finally with help from Matt he got it clean enough to look for anything in the wound. Taking the scalpel he gently probe the wound for any foreign objects he has missed, getting frustrated when he couldn't find anything until the blade hit something hard. Moving it over to where Matt could use a pair of tweezers to remove it, finding another two more he looked real good to make sure that was all. Seeing that there weren't any more fragments in the wound he washed it out with antiseptic solution, placing a drainage tube inside he stitch up the wound around it. Cleaning the stitches with the solution to be on the safe side, after they were done Dean was moved to recover to be watch over. There was something that both Doctors had to do before seeing their patient, Matt got on the phone to talk to the CEO and the head of the doctors. Asking if they would meet him in his office in ten minutes it's important.

"Will can you and Arron met me in my office in ten minutes-no this can't wait it's important-will tell you when we all get there."

Glancing over at Jackson he could see the anger rolling off his friend in waves, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder he led the way back to his office. Once when they were done talking about Gillian termination from the hospital, they would go back to look at the fragments they found in his wound.

~~~SPN~~~

Jill sat on the chair next to the couch that Gillian was sitting on, she could tell that the lady in front of her didn't look at all upset. Yes she did look terrified in the room that was because Dean angered, now she is all calm knowing that Jackson would be coming. Made her sick to think that should do something this low to get his attention, putting a patient health in danger just to see someone she has a crush on. Looking over when she heard the door open she's expecting Matt coming in, to her surprise and concern it was Kelly who walked in. Getting up she stepped up to her friend to see if anything happen, seeing the look got her worried about Sam or Dean until she saw where the eyes were at. Keeping herself between the two women she knew what would happen if she moved, knowing what was going through her mind cause she wanted to do it herself. Waiting to see what this visit was about she sat back down on the chair, Kelly walked up to her patting her shoulder letting her knew she could go. Getting back up she had to know if it's safe to leave her alone with Gillian.

"Kelly, is it safe to leave her here with you in the room?"

"Yes Jill, it's safe for you to leave the room with this person, I won't risk my job over her by saying anything."

"I just want to make sure cause I don't want you to loose your job either over her-and what is your point Gillian."

Jill answer the women on the couch without taking her eyes off her friend, after Gillian told them she still there.

"I'm still here so stop talking like I'm not here in the office, I don't see why I have to stay I did nothing wrong-"

Gillian got off the couch real fast when Kelly acted like she lunge at her, two things stop her from going any further then she did. One was Jill who was standing in between the two ladies; the second was Matt's voice that was behind her with Jackson, Will and Arron who heard the whole thing.

"Kelly, that will be enough please go to your desk you too Jill, we got this now and thank you for staying with her.

Watching as the two nurses left his room he heard Jackson asking Jill to check up on Sam.

After the two head nurses left his office Matt sat behind his desk, telling Gillian to sit on the couch as they talk. Keeping a close eye on her as she did as was told to do, she kept glancing over at Jackson with lust in her eyes. Which in turned made Jackson very uncomfortable to see that kind of look, especially when he can't stand her or be in the same room with her. Sitting next to Matt's desk with Will and Arron sitting next to the couch, the doctor went into details on what happen with Jackson patient.

"Will and Arron I asked you to come here for one reason which is to fired Gillian-you need to keep your mouth shut young lady, don't you think that it got you in enough trouble already for what you did."

Matt shot down the nurse before she could say another word, there's something he needed to stay first.

"Gillian Walker here knowing she is suppose to stay away from Jackson and his patients did something that she wasn't allowed to do under the agreement we had with her. She went into a room of one of Jackson patients who is a good friend, got him upset which in turned made him lunge at her. He fell to the floor where Kelly and I got him sedated, during his fall he broke open his stitches that we had to fix in surgery. When I came into the room I heard her tell Dean something that Jackson and I only know, which means she over heard our private talk we had in my office that was between us."

"Kelly heard yelling coming from Dean's room five minutes after she check on him, she couldn't tell what was being said since the door was closed. She saw me coming down the hallway got my attention after she heard glass breaking, which is when we ran into the room while she was trying to get out. What was said we don't know she needs to answer that in truth, once when Dean wakes up I'll be asking him what happen before we showed up."

"So Gillian what did you talk to Dean about, don't even lie about it cause I will be asking Dean."

The whole time Matt was talking Gillian sat on the couch looking at Jackson, which didn't go by un-notice by Will and Arron who say it all. Taking her eyes off of Jackson she looked over to Matt with innocent eyes, like why is she being blame for what happen in the room.

"I went into Dean's room to find out some things about Jackson that he might know, he didn't have to get mad at me like he did or threaten me. He's friends with the Doctor so he knows more about him then you do, if we are going to go out on a date I need to know what he likes. When he threw the plate at me that shattered on the floor, I got scared for my life told him that Jackson is taking Sam away."

Jackson was about to say something to the nurses comment until Matt stop him, he knew the anger was showing by Matt's actions of keeping him sitting down. Turning to the two headmen of the hospital to see what they have to say on the matter, they both were looking at the lady with disbelief in their eyes on what they heard.

"Mrs. Walker you know you are not suppose to see any of Jackson patients, that was the agreement we had when you wanted back down here. If I'm hearing you right the only reason why you wanted to be here, is because you still have a crush on Jackson after everything that has happen." Will asked the nurse on the couch.

"That is true I wanted to be on this floor to be near my boyfriend-"

Before Gillian could finished what she was going to say, Jackson had to put her in her place.'

"Mrs. Walker for the hundredth time I'm not your boyfriend never will be, there is nothing between us so get over yourself."

"I know you don't mean that Jackson you love me-"

Once again she was interrupted from the CEO of the hospital who was disgusted with the lady.

"Mrs. Walker what you are doing is sexual harassment to one of my finest doctors who work here, we are going to press charges against you along with termination from the job. You will no longer work here or at any other hospital ever again, you need to go back your belongings meet the both of us at the main door. From there you will be driving to the police station by one of the security guards, who will hand you over to the Officer in charge. You may leave now and stop looking at Jackson like that, you are only digging your grave deeper young lady." Will told Gillian as he stood up from his chair.

While Will went over with Gillian Matt called the security officer to his room, asking him to take Gillian to her locker and the main door. As they watch her leave while she glance over her shoulder at Jackson one last time, she didn't have any remorse on what she did in her eyes just lust in them. After the door closed Jackson took a deep breath to calm the anger inside of him, looking over at the two older men he cleared his throat before he had to say something.

"Will and Arron I want you both to know that I did not do anything to make her this way, I only took her under my wing to help her be more compassionate with the patients. I wanted her to thrive in her job as a RN to be more aware of their needs, to know when they are hurting before they say anything. Now with her actions on what she did to Dean I might have lost my friendship with him, he's going to be furious with me for what I have to do."

"When I first met Dean along time ago when Sam was 15 and Dean 19, I was twenty six years old with my own clinic in Montana. The two weeks they were there I came to respect the Winchester Brothers, even earning their respect as a friend that lasted all these years. Now with her I just lost that respect with Dean that I work so hard to get, I was going to tell him what I was going to do and why. Now I don't know if he would listen to me or not, I will be taken some time off as soon as Sam is better. I really can't go into the details hope you both understand, we both have some healing to do which I can't go into."

"Jackson you don't need to go into details on what you need to do with Sam, as for Gillian she will be fired from here and will be charge for sexual harassment. She won't have any job in a hospital ever again this will be on her record, we are sorry you had to be put up with this from her. You are a fine doctor that cares for his patients and the people you work with, you've become one of our best doctors we have here at the hospital. So if you two have nothing else to say we have to get going."

Seeing that both Matt and Jackson had nothing else to say on the matter, Will and Arron got up from their chairs walking out of the door. Leaving the two doctors to reel in their anger from what happen, taking a deep breath, Matt glanced over at his friend to see how he was doing. He can see the anger rolling off of him in waves, knowing what he had to do to get him out of the mind set standing up he walked over to him.

"Jackson, let's go check out those fragments we found in Dean's wound, if I saw what I think I did looks like bone."

Seeing the confused look in his eyes they both left the room to take a look on what they found.

Stepping into the room where the ER person put the fragments for them to look at, glad that he put them in a water solution to clean them. Putting on gloves Matt empty the glass bowl leaving the bone in it, picking one up he saw that it was an bone with blood and dirt on it. Wondering how he would get that in his wound of all things, taking the others out it was the same as the first piece of bone. Looking at each other with confusion they would have to asked Dean how he got this in his wound, from what they both figure it was a knife that made the cut the bones they don't know. It was something that they would have to asked Dean about, well Matt should asked Dean since he's piss at Jackson.

"Jack, I will talk to Dean about what happen in the room with Gillian instead of you, I might get something out of him besides the anger like you would."

"That's a good idea Matt. Dean won't talk to me at the moment, I would only get the silent treatment if I'm lucky. What I would really get is a very angry, piss off, down right mad as hell man, so be careful on what you say Matt he's a round up tiger ready to strike."

"Boy Jackson, you really know how to prepare a person to talk to Dean, I guess you got that side of Dean before in the past."

"You can say that Matt if it wasn't for Jefferson I would have been knock out for the count, even Bobby Singer had to help rein in the mother tigress called Dean Winchester. Hear my words my friend tread lightly when you talk to him, he will explode try not to get him over work it will be hard. When it comes time to where I have to talk to him, I'll be preparing myself from the hurricane that will be coming."

"Alright Jackson, I will take your warning when I have to talk to Dean, of course it won't be today or tomorrow since he'll be to drugged out. I feel bad for him my heart went out to him when I saw him on the floor, yes he was angry as hell, I saw something else in his eyes that made my heart break. I saw a big brother who wanted his little brother, I know that look of longing I have seen it many of times."

"Yeah I have seen it since he's been here as my patient I can't let him see Sam, it hurts to see the tears in his eyes when he pleas. I can't take the chance with his infection and fever it could hurt Sam, don't like doing it have to do what's best for him and not Dean."

"You are stuck between a rock and a hard place, one place I don't want to be in."

"Don't know how true that is Matt, it hurts to be in this place."

"Well I have patients to go check on before I call it a night Jackson, when you are done want to go have a few drinks maybe some dinner."

"That sounds like a plan Matt let me check up on Dean to see how he's doing, then check up on Sam before I leave for the night."

"Alright met you out by the car in about an hour an a half or so, I know of a really good Italian place a few miles down the road."

"Sounds good Matt, see you then."

Jackson went to the recovery room to check up on Dean before he went to see Sam, seeing the older brother was holding his own who was about to be transfer back to his room. He left to go check up on Sam to see how he's been doing; walking into the room he took the chart to check everything over. Seeing that Sam's vitals are improving his temperature has gone down made him happy, he's been so worried about his friend since he stop breathing. Placing the chart back in place he walked up to the head of the bed, looking down at his friend he saw movement under his eyes lids. Waiting to see what would happen he was greeted to two green eyes, even though the lids were half mass he couldn't stop the joy he felt. Leaning down so Sam could see him he smile at his friend, who in turned got a smile from the man in question. Who wince in pain when he tried to move his body, closing his eyes tight from the pain he was in. Seeing him in discomfort he got the pain medicine into the port to help relieve it, seeing the eyes shut slowly he wanted until he was fully under. Leaning down to his ear he whispered to Sam, knowing he wouldn't hear what he was going to say.

"You are doing good Sam I know it hurts will get better I promise, when you are feeling better I will take you to Jim's cabin. It will be just the two of us for a while before I let Dean come over; we both have a lot of healing to do from the hurt of our brothers. I'll see you in the morning Sam sleep well my friend."

As he got up to leave he felt a hand grabbed his in a weak grip, looking down he saw that Sam eyes were up a slit. Licking his lips he can tell he wanted to say something, leaning down close so he can hear what Sam had to say. What he heard hurt his heart so much to the words Sam whisper to him.

"Please no, Dean-hates me."

Is all that Sam could say before exhaustion over took him, feeling tears prick his eyes Jackson blink them away. Feeling the lump in his throat he couldn't say a word to his friend, stepping out the door Jackson took a deep breath to calm his emotions. Stepping into Dean's room the doctor check over his chart to see how he's doing, seeing his blood pressure, temperature and pulse was a little high, he wasn't to worried. Surgery would do that to a body especially with them already being upset, knowing that both brothers will be in good hands for the night he made his leave. Before he left he leaned down to whisper in Dean's ear.

"Dean, I know you are going to be piss off at me for what was said, we will talk about what I'm about to do. I'm not doing to hurt you in any way my friend I know what Sam is going through, I know what you are going through as well I've been there. You can hate me all you want Dean Winchester it won't change the fact of one thing, you will always be my friend that will never change young man."

With that he left the room letting Jill and Kelly know he's already check up on the brother's, walking out into the cool night he headed for his car. Seeing Matt waiting for him in his own car letting him know he'll wait for him at his place, as he drove home he parked his car in front of his apartment complex. Getting out of his car he got into Matt's car they headed over to the restaurant for drinks and dinner, and for some friend-to-friend talk about anything besides work.


	16. Chapter 16

Driving into the restaurant parking lot Matt finding a parking space he shut off the vehicle, opening the door he waited for Jackson to meet him. Walking up to the building Matt hold the door open for his friend, stepping inside they both waited to be seated by a waitress. As they waited to be seated Jackson looked around the area, he notice it was for families to have a quiet meal together. The lightening in the room was dim but now dark too where you can't see, booths along the walls with tables in the middle. On each of the tables there are candles as a centerpiece with flowers around them, pictures of Italy scattered along the walls of different places and buildings.

One of the waitress walked up to the two men dress in black dress with a white apron, asking how many were in their group getting the answer two. Leading them to a booth she got their order for drinks, leaving them to look over the menu for their meals. When she returned with their drinks they have decided on what they wanted, Jackson went with the lasagna, salad, bread sticks while Matt went with Chicken Parmesan, salad and garlic bread. Having their drinks of wine while they waited for their meal, they sat and talked about what ever they could think of that wasn't work related.

"Jackson, remember that time we went on the fishing trip to Lake Cascade in the Payette National Forest, we went camping with Fred Willard and Kelly McDonald both Doctors here. It was your first year being here we invited you to come with us, we had so much fun fishing, boating and hiking just us four men."

"Yeah, I had a great time being there really enjoyed myself got to know Fred and Kelly, we became instinct friends the week we were there make me feel like a part of the group."

"That they did my friend they heard so much about you from me, they wanted to get to know you better so we went camping. I had to laugh when Fred fell out of the boat like an idiot he was, thinking he can rock it without falling in stupid jerk."

Matt laugh at the memory of that day..

"I couldn't stop laughing my stomach hurt to much with all the laughing we were doing, he sure did look like a drown rat by the time he got out. Made him swim back to shore we didn't want him to tip the boat, he was so mad at us to have him swim that far got us good after wards."

"That he did and big time we weren't expecting it he did good on his revenge, took us forever to get that stink out of our sleeping back. Boy do skunks really stick up the place never thought we would ever get it out, thank fully I brought extra sleeping bags with that day just in case. We had so much fun being there just having a good ole time, we need to do that again one day Jackson just the two of us."

"Yeah, we should do that again when I have the time to do so my friend, it would be so much fun hanging out together again. Maybe when everything settles down with what's going on let's make plans, will be fun just the two of us hanging out enjoying our freedom."

"That it will my friend let's see how things go-here's our meal let's eat then head home."

Both men enjoyed their meals after wards they had some wine, as they talked some more, cutting it off to soda since Matt had to drive home. Dropping Jackson off at his apartment he told him he'll see him tomorrow at work, saying his good bye Jackson walked to his apartment opening the door. Taking a quick shower to get the day off of him, he headed off to bed for a good night sleep.

~~~~~SPN~~~~

Finishing their rounds Jill and Kelly went back to their desk to finish the paper work; they needed to get all the information written down on their patients. So when the morning staff comes in they'll know what's going on, taking extra time with Sam and Dean information knowing how Jackson is with the brothers. When they finish putting the information in the computer they headed back to the rooms, they wanted to check everything over before they left for the day.

As Jill stepped into Sam's room one last time she went over the chart of his vitals, she knows that Jackson will be happy on how Sam is improving. His heart rate, blood pressure and pulse climb during the night, even with it being a few numbers then before at least he's showing signs of fighting back. At one point she thought that Sam would wake up during the night, she saw movement under his eye lids, head turning slightly, licking his lips all signs of waking. Waiting to see if his eyes would open she sigh sadly when they remained close, it filled her heart with joy knowing that he's showing signs. Doing one final check up writing down all the information on the chart for the Doctor, she headed out of the room to head home after she talked to Jackson.

Kelly headed to Dean's room to check up on her patient before she left for the day, upon entering she heard a moan coming from the man on the bed. Quickly she stepped up to see if he needed any pain medicine or if he was having a dream, seeing that he was not in any kind of pain she knew he was dreaming. Checking his vitals she didn't like that they were still to high for her liking, writing it down for Matt or Jackson since it was too early to give him an injection. Giving him the once over she place the chart back at the foot of the bed, glancing at the young man on the bed she felt protectiveness over him. Seeing him on the floor broke her heart to see how angry, worried, panic he was in, no thanks to Gillian for making him that way she wanted to go and kick her ass. Walking out the door she headed to the nurses' station to finish up her work, just as Jill and her were about to leave they saw Jackson and Matt walking down the hall.

Jackson pulled into his parking space around 8 am he sat for a little longer to think, after what happen yesterday with Dean he was concern for his friend. He knows first hand how Dean can be when he's in big brother mode; he has seen it when the man was 19 years old at the time almost knock him out. Now Dean is an adult who can be lethal when he's threaten or feels threaten, he knows what the man can be capable of when push comes to shove. Even with the brothers being so far apart with their bond to almost the breaking point, he can still see the protective tigress he knows so well when it comes to protecting what's his. At the same time he can see the anger, mistrust, betrayal in the older man eyes, he knows whom it's all aim at and that is what he's worried about especially for Sam. Dean still is harboring those feelings at his younger brother even with everything that has happen, he can't be sure if he can let the older brother see the younger one. If Dean says one wrong word or makes one wrong actions what could that mean for Sam, could that set the younger man back on his recovery, or have him think coming back wasn't the right thing.

Taking a deep breath to rein in his emotions he's feeling at the moment, he open his car door stepping out is when he saw Matt pulling in. Closing the door he waited for his friend to park his car next to his, watching as he got out of the car grabbing his coat he walked over to his friend. Seeing how stress he looks with worry he knows why, as the both walked up to the front doors of the building Matt turned to him.

"Jackson, don't worry about Dean from now on I'll be his Doctor, you take care of Sam who needs you more. I can handle Dean after everything you told me about him I'm prepared to what's coming, I know I'll get his angered with what happen yesterday between him and Gillian. He's going to be asking or telling me some bad things about you, I know the truth to a point on what's going on between you three." Raising his hand to Jack to stop him from saying anything. "Jackson I don't need to know everything that is going on, I know some that I need to know at the moment right now. Knowing Dean I'll be getting an earful from him on what's going on with you two, I will be ready for the attack against the tiger called Dean Winchester."

"Thanks Matt, and I'm sorry to have to put you in the middle of all of this, I have to think what's best for Sam right now. Seeing Dean won't be a good thing after what I heard last night, the kid thinks his brother still hates him. Seeing the tears in his eyes broke something in me that I thought I lost, felt such a protectiveness over Sam that I wanted to keep him safe from all harm."

"Jackson, don't be sorry for putting me in the middle of this you didn't, the one who did is Gillian with her big mouth. Once when Dean is awake enough and strong enough to talk we will, I want to get his side on what happen in the room. After that I have a feeling he's going to rant about you my friend, don't worry I will listen to what he has to say and be careful on what I say. I got your story on what's going on even with it being very little, then I'll get Dean side of the story then go on from there."

"Dean told me the whole story on him and Sam Matt I can't say what it is, you know that whole thing about being private. I wasn't his doctor just yet but it was a friend confiding to another friend, don't want to ruin what we have as friends if it's still there. If Dean brings it up that's fine then I can tell you the missing pieces, if not I can't say my friend I do hope you understand were I'm coming from."

"I understand were you are coming from Jackson it's a doctor and patient confidential, that is something I won't let you break unless Dean says something. Let's go check up on Jill and Kelly and see how those two boys are doing."

Stepping into the hospital they headed to the elevators with other patient family members, getting off on their floor they saw Jill and Kelly getting ready to leave. Getting all the information they needed from them they headed for the rooms, both stop when Jill asked them about a party she's having for her husband.

"Matt and Jackson, I know you both are off Saturday, since I'm off tonight and Friday I need to asked you two something. Would you guys like to come over to help celebrate Jack's birthday, we are having a party at the house around one."

Both Doctors looked over at each other before answering her question on the party, they have been over before to help celebrate birthdays in the past. This time Jackson knows it's a friend asking a friend to join in the fun, which he don't mind since both of his nurses are married. Matt asked his friend if he wanted to go he'd pick him up.

"Well Jackson, would you like to go help celebrate Jack's birthday, if so I can come over on the way there."

"Don't you have to work on Saturday, Jill?"

"I asked for the day off two weeks ago so I can get everything ready, since I'm off Friday I can prepare everything for Saturday."

"Sure, I'll come with Matt what time do you wants us there."

"Be there anytime before one so we can get things ready, it's a surprise party for his fifty fifth birthday. His brother and sister-in-law is taking him out to shop, they'll be back by one so be there earlier."

Saying their goodbyes Matt went to check up on Dean, while Jackson check up on Sam. Seeing that both patients were asleep they left them alone, checking up on their other patient and getting paper work done. Through out the day they both check up on the Winchester brothers to make sure they were doing okay, when it came to be lunchtime they both went to the diner across the street. Having their meals they returned to the nurses station to see how the brothers were doing, when Jackson stepped into the room he saw Sam was opening his eyes. Rushing over he leaned in so Sam could see him without much effort, seeing a smile coming from the man that didn't reach his eyes. Smiling back he cleared his throat to asked Sam some questions, hoping he's awake enough to answer them.

"Hey Sam, do you know who I am?"

"J-Jackson."

"That's right Sam, do you know where you are?"

"Hospital."

"Good, are you in any pain?"

Jackson waited for a response from the man in question, when he didn't hear a word he thought he went back to sleep. Moving from the bed is when he heard Sam speaking again.

"H-hurts-chest-arm-all over."

"Your chest, does it hurt when you take a deep breath?"

"Yes hurts-hard to breathe."

"That's okay Sam, we are done talking save your breath, calm down my friend you are hurt bad. Sounds like you got a cold in the chest with fluids, will hurt until the medicine does it work to help clear the lungs."

"J-Jack-pl'se no Dean-he hates me-pl'se"

Seeing his patient getting all worked up he talked to him in a soft voice he could mustard.

"Take it easy Sam, Dean won't be here any time soon, my friend, you need to relax Sam try to take deep breath to calm down. That's it I'll give you something for the pain so you can relax, just sleep now Sam see you tomorrow my friend."

Staying until he knew that Sam was sound asleep before he left the room, he couldn't stand the look in Sam's eyes as he talk to him. Here's Sam thinking that Dean still hates him for what happen between the two, when in real Dean is anger with his brother but still loves the kid. Jackson knows that he and Sam will have a long road to recovery, before they could leave here to go to Jim's cabin for some R&R. Walking down the hall he saw Matt coming out of Dean's room down the hall, seeing him not anger means one thing Dean's still asleep.

~~~SPN~~~

Arriving at the police station the security guard stepped out of his vehicle walking to the passenger side, pulling the door open he help Gillian out of the car leading her to the door. The whole time she complained about him manhandling her, that she did nothing wrong, being blamed for something she didn't do. Having enough of her lies he so wanted to say something back to her but he held his tongue, Jackson a good man who helps others achieve their goals on what they want to be. He didn't need this woman ruined his good name and reputation, he worked hard to get were he is at the hospital to have it all get burned to ash from her.

Walking up to the doors he open it with one hand while the other he pulled Gillian into the room, stepping up to the counter he waited for an officer to notice them waiting. He already knew that Will called the station about them coming, so he had to get a hold of the right person to hand her over to. Seeing a young lady with dark short hair with dark brown eyes walking towards them, as she reach the counter she pulled out a clip board. Glancing at the gentlemen she knew he was a security guard from the hospital, glancing to the left of him he saw a young lady looking angry and annoyed. Pulling her eyes back to the older man she cleared her throat to asked questions.

"How may I help you both today?" Officer Jessica McDonalds asked them.

"My name if Clif Williams I'm an security officer at Memorial General Hospital, I was asked by the CEO Will Adams to bring Gillian Walker here. He talked to Officer Hank Burkhardt before I left the building to come here, I'm to hand her over to him for questioning on what happen between her, a patient and a Doctor."

"I see let me go get Officer Burkhardt he's in the backroom filling out papers, I'll be back in a few minutes." Officer McDonalds stated before stepping away from the counter.

Clif watch her leave the room while he waited for the man in question, as they waited Gillian was becoming restless next to him. Glancing to his left he glared at her to be still which didn't help the matter, she kept glaring back at him annoyed she had to be here. Hearing a door closing he looked to his right to see who was coming, seeing a tall man with brown hair and green eyes walking up to them. Stopping in front of him the Officer held his hand out for a shake, introducing himself he glance over at Gillian who was now looking scared.

"You must be the security officer Will told me about, and this must be Gillian Walker."

"Yes sir, I'm Clif Williams the head security officer at the hospital, I was asked by Will Adams to bring Gillian to you for questioning."

"Officer McDonalds would you please handcuff Miss Walker and read her her rights."

Officer McDonalds stepped up to Gillian asking her to put her hands behind her back, as she was placing the cuffs on her wrists she read her the rights, at the same time she pat her down to make sure she didn't have any thing on her. Asking her if she understood her rights getting a yes as a response, she took her to the back to get her process for questioning. Before McDonalds had Gillian sit on the chair she went over what was going to happen, first she was going to take the cuffs off to get fingerprints. Second she was going to take down what had happen, and why she was brought in for questioning, writing it all down she lead her to a room with a table and chair. Asking her to sit she waited by the door for Burkhardt to come in and take over, hearing the door open she looked over to see Hank stepping in. Giving her a thank you she stepped out the door closing it behind her, glancing over at miss Walker Hank sat down across from her. Getting the folder on the table he looked over the notes he wrote down, and the notes that Jessica wrote on what Gillian had to say. When he was done he glance over at her clearing his throat he asked her why she's here.

"Miss Walker, why did Will Adams have you brought here for, what happen at the hospital to have you arrested?"

"I did nothing wrong they are all lying to get me fired."

"Miss Walker when I talked to Mr. Adams on the phone, he said that you were making sexual advances to one of the doctors. You got one of his patients so upset that another doctor and nurse had to sedate him, this patient was not one of yours to begin with since he's not your patient. There was an agreement that I have here stating, you are not to be near the Doctor or any of his patients-"

Before he could finish what got fax to him from Will, Gillian lash out at him calling it all lies.

"Those are all lies Jackson and I are are going to be getting married in a few weeks, I never made any sexual advances against my fiance. As for Dean he had no right yelling at me like he did, I only wanted to know what Jackson is like away from work. They didn't have to fired me for my love I have for Jackson, it's true love we have for each other so if you don't mind I'm leaving."

Gillian started to get up when Hank told her to sit back down with a glare, waiting for her to sit he closed the folder placing his arms on the desk his hands out in front of him. Taking a deep breath to rein in his anger towards her, he was warned by Will of her obsession she has with Jackson that's unhealthy. Even told him not to mention Jackson or Dean's name cause she will, so doing as the CEO said he got his answer from her.

"Miss Walker would you please sit down we are not done." Waiting for her to sit back down before he said anything else. "I never said who the doctor or patient was never said their names, so what Mr. Adams has said are true about you. Sexual harassment at work is against the law Miss Walker you were talked to about it before, was put on probation for a year, even had restriction on what you can do. When that was done with you made an agreement with Mr. Adams to stay away from the doctor, you broke that agreement when you set foot in his patient room. From what it says here you listen to a private conservation between two doctors, that was behind closed doors which means it's was between them not you."

"When Mr. Adams and Mr. O'Neil asked Jackson and Matt on what happen, they said that you sneaked into Dean's room to talked to him. You told the patient something that was just between the two doctors, which in turn made the man anger enough to lunge at you. Even then you acted like you did nothing wrong, am I missing something here now Mrs. Walker are all these lies like you said."

"It says here that when they were talking to you in Matt's office, you were making sexual advances at Jackson right in front of them. Is this true Miss Walker."

"I was not making sexual advances to my fiance we always look at each other like that, I don't know why I was put on probation when I was protecting my fiance from that whore. She was trying to steal Jackson from me wouldn't let it happen-"

Gillian didn't finish her rant with Hank since the door open to the room, turning around he saw it was McDonalds with paper in hands. Taking them from her he saw that she did what he has asked, to check her background from drugs addiction, or mental illness, or if anything like this happen before. Looking it over he nodding his head to her saying thank you, turning back to the women in question he looked at her straight in the eyes. He got his proof he needed now he has to talk with the psychiatrist who happen to be here visiting, putting the papers into the folder he glance over at Gillian she won't like what he has to say.

"I had a background check on you Miss Walker this has happen before in California, the only reason why it didn't show up it was handle out of court. This is your second time won't be a third time for you young lady, it says on the information I got you are suppose to be on medicine for bi-polar. For this part I'm going to have you talk to our psychiatrist Doctor Collect, he will make the last call on how we have to handle this."

With that he got up out of his chair walked to the door before he could open it there was a knock, opening the door he saw the doctor standing there waiting to be let in. Letting him know what was going on he allowed the doctor in to talk to her, half an hour later he saw the doctor walking to him with a sullen face. Getting up he asked the doctor to go to another room to talk in private, shutting the door they both sat down to talk.

"Officer Burkhardt since I can't go into all the details on what we talked about, there's one thing you need to know about my patient. Yes I will be taking her as a patient since I know more about bi-polar; she does have other issues she is struggling with that another doctor can handle. When you are done talking with her I'll take her with me, already called Mortan Institution for Mental Health arranging her a room there. They will have all the paper work done before we arrived, so when you are done we'll leave."

"I'm surprise she went alone with this so fast Collect, from what I had to deal with she fought me all the way."

"I didn't give her a choice Hank told her she could be arrest and put in jail, or she can come to the institution with me and get help with her problems. From were I stand it will be a long time before she can leave, let the doctors know that they won't be having anymore problems with her."

"Will do doc I'll let Will and Aaron know what's happening with Gillian, I'm done with her she all yours good luck with her."

After shaking hands leaving the room Hank asked Officer McDonalds to get Gillian for Doctor Collect, go with him to make sure she didn't cause any problems to the car. As they left the building Hank got on the phone with Will telling him what has happen.

~~~SPN~~~

Two days after Dean went into surgery for his wound to be clean and re-stitch, Matt so some movement from the bed from his patient. Taking a step away from the bed remembering Jackson warning about the man, keeping a keen eye on him for any sign of sickness or pain he waited. Seeing movement under his eyelids, licking his lips, he knew he was waking up from the sedative. Watching as the young man open his eyes then closing them, opening them again this time they stayed open even if it's half mass. He stood there until the green eyes turned to him waiting until he got some kind of awareness from him, at first he saw sleepy heavy eyes, then he got hard cold open ones within seconds. Even with him being under the drugs he was surprise how aware he is, the glare was getting him kind of nervous at the moment. He didn't move closer until he was sure Dean wouldn't lashed out at him, taking a step to the bed he cleared his throat there's something he had to asked. Before he could say a word he heard Dean asking him about Jackson, his voice was horse but harsh knowing he needed a drink. Matt brought a glass of water to Dean for a few sips of cool liquid, after he was done he put the glass on the table away from Dean. He didn't need anything thrown at him once they started to talk; he waited until the older brother found his voice before he said anything.

"W-were's Jackson?"

"Jackson is not going to be your doctor for the remainder of your stay, I will be your doctor, Dean my name is Matt."

"Don't give a fuck who you are, I need to speak to Jackson."

Matt was taken back slightly on how awake Dean has gotten, most patients it takes them at least an fifteen minutes to an half an hour to wake be fully awake. With his patient it's only been two minutes to be this alert, Jackson was right about Dean Winchester being the angry tigress. As the seconds past Dean has become more aware and his angry grew, knowing he had to keep him calm he told Dean what's going on.

"Dean, Jackson not going to be your doctor anymore I'm going to be, when you are ready I need to asked you some questions."

"What kind of questions do you need to asked me doctor, and why isn't Jackson here need to talk to him not you."

Dean really wasn't in the mood to talk to Matt; he made it known when he said doctor in a tight threatening tone.

"I know you are angry Dean let's not loose our temper won't do you any good, we had to bring you into surgery to clean out your wound. When we finally got the infection cleaned out of the wound, we found three object pieces deep inside the wound on your left side. Took us a good while to get them out they were so keep in, had to keep cleaning puss and blood to find the others three in total. When we check them out to see what they were, we saw bone fragments with dirt covering them. Would you have any idea how they would get in, and how did you get a four inch deep cut on your side."

"How in the hell am I supposed to know I got a cut or bone in the wound, that is not what I want to talk about Doctor. I want to have Jackson get his sorry ass in here and talk to me, he has some explaining to do from what the bitch told me."

"As for Gillian, I will be asking questions about that too Dean, those bone fragments could have killed you. You had a high fever for two days the puss is still draining from the wound, for me this is more important then Jackson right now. Would you have any idea how-"

Matt didn't expect Dean to move so fast in his condition with the fever, he had enough time to move before he was hit. Two things happen at one time he was prepare for both of them, as Dean went to swing he heard a sharp cry, at the same time the young man almost fell off the bed. Matt got to Dean before he even he rolled off, pushing him back carefully onto the bed so he didn't hurt him any further. Keeping a close eye on his patient he was surprise he was so calm even in pain and being so piss, he could feel the anger rolling off the man in waves. He waited to see what would happen next before he did anything else, making his mind up he knew he would be treading on a thin line right now. Even with Gillian gone he still needed to know what happen in here, taking a deep breath he waited until he got the young man's attention. When he open his green eyes what he saw was fire in them all directed at him, standing his ground to the angry young man he had to asked about Gillian.

"Dean, I need to know-hear me out young man-good I need to know what did Gillian said to you. When we came in you were on the floor crawling to the door, I know something was said to set you off I need to know what it was."

"You really want to know what that bitch asked me, the one who's in love with that jackass of a friend, even if I can call him that. She wanted to know what he is like way from work like I really give a fucking care, when I yelled at her to get the fuck out of my room, she told me that Jackson was taking my brother from me. That's right your friend Jackson plans on taking Sammy away from me, how can you call him a friend when he does that shit. I need to go see Sammy and fix what I did-fuck that fucking hurts what the hell did you do to me."

Dean hissed in pain when his left side flared in white-hot pain.

"Dean, calm down I told you already we had to have surgery on your wound, you need to calm down young man, don't even give me that look won't scare me one bit."

"If you are not scared why are you a good foot from the bed, did jackass tell you that I hit first, ask questions later?"

"Jackson told me about your temper yes and how to react to it, not giving into your demands Dean your fever and infection will kill your brother. That is why I will not allow you to see him right now; after the infection is clear and fever is gone we'll see what happens. Until then my answer is no Dean."

Dean knew that Matt was right about Sammy with his fever and infection, that didn't mean he had to like it he didn't one bit. Laying back in bed feeling exhausted from the pain his body took, he glance over at Matt with fire in his eyes letting him know this isn't over.

"I'll give you some pain medicine Dean won't put you to sleep, will help relieve you of the pain you are in. At lunch time I'll have the nurse bring you some food to eat, I better now hear that you threw it on the floor this time."

Going to the cabinet Matt took out the pain medicine and syringe, filling it to the right amount he inserted into the port on Dean's hand. After the medicine was injected he throw away the needle in the bin, writing down what he did so the nurse will know he walked to the door. Turning around he saw Dean glaring at him, shaking his head he open the door walking out of the room.

Lying in bed Dean waited for the pain medicine to kick in, his left side was throbbing like someone took a hot poker to it. Lifting his shirt he saw the bandage covering the stitches, with a tube sticking out with puss leaking from it. Pulling his shirt back down he took a deep breath to calm his raging mood, he is so angry right now he wants to punch Jackson right in the face. How dare his friend keep him from seeing Sammy, he is his brother after all that will never change even with him being angry. He can't help the anger he feels towards his brother after everything they been through, how could his brother stop looking for him like that. Feeling the pain again brought him back to the here and now, knowing that Sam did look for him while he was gone he read it. Still he can't help the anger he's feeling towards Sammy, he feels so betrayed, unloved, not worth a dime to his brother. Benny has been there for Dean for the whole year he was gone, now he not sure if he can trust his friend or even call him friend.

Thinking back to when Nathan, Tim and Reggie had brought Sam to the motel he saw red, the sight of his brother made his blood boiled hot. Seeing all the blood, burns, whip marks, cuts that covered his body, sent Dean into killing mode for hurting his Sammy like that. When he attacked Nathan he did see the knife being pulled out, feeling a tug to on his left side he knows now how he cut the cut Nathan stabbed him. He didn't even feel it since his adrenaline was pumping through his body, then getting to Sam was his first priority to check him over. When Sam flinch as Benny came out of the room gave Dean some ideas, back then he couldn't believe Sam when he said Benny attack him first. Even before he could ask the Vampire Cas pushed him away from his brother, slamming into the Impalas back drivers door hard taking his breath away. As he tried to get his breath and vision back from the impact of the hit, he felt a tug again on his left side as he glance he saw Benny next to him. With his help he got off the ground to stand, even with Benny holding him up he still was a little daze. His eyes widen when it hit him Benny put the bones in his wound, knowing that it would slow him down enough for him to get away. Now the only thing is why didn't he see the wound sooner he took a showers, dried himself off, why didn't he see the blood. His mind was so focus on finding Sam he wasn't thinking of taken care of himself, he didn't pay any attention to his own aches and pains just thought it was from Cas throwing him into the Impala. Now his anger is all on Benny for attacking Sam then almost killing him, when he finds that Vampire he's going to pay dearly for what he did. Taking a deep breath to rein in his hatred for Benny, he whispers to himself on the revenge he has coming.

"Benny, once when I find you I'm going to make you wish I kept you in Purgatory, you death will be painful I promise you that one. No one hurts my Sammy like you did cause of you I hurt my Sammy, that's not going to go over well for you bastard wait and see."

Dean sat there with anger flowing off of him for his soon to be dead so called friend.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Two days has passed since Dean and Matt talked, wanting to know how he got his cut and infection. He told the Doctor that when Nathan came to his hotel, he had Sam with him alone with Reggie and Tim. When he saw sight of his brother he blood ran hot with anger at the abuse, when he attack Nathan he notice him having a knife in his hand. He wasn't even thinking of anything except Sam, he had to get to his brother, which Castiel kept him from. That is when his so call friend Benny helped him up off the ground, he remembered feeling a tug on the left side as he was being pulled up. That is how he got the cut on his left side, and the bones that cause the infection that he's fighting. As he told Matt on what happen he could see he wasn't buying it, which in turned was making him annoyed with the man. How is he supposed to see Sammy if this man won't buy what he's saying, Dean would never hurt Sam like that no matter what. Yes he has hit Sam with his fist from time to time out of anger, say hurtful words at him, but he would never hurt his brother like Nathan, Reggie and Tim did. Now after three days of the questions Dean was getting piss, he wanted to hit the man for making it look like Dean did the damage. Like right now he's about ready to lunge at him if he says it one more time, he wouldn't come out with it but in so many words he was.

"Dean, I have asked you this question many times already, I'm having a hard time figuring out how you couldn't feel the knife. The cut is four inches long two inches deep how could you not feel-"

Dean cut off Matt before he could finish asking the question.

"I have told you time and time again on what happen, I would never hurt Sam like that-don't give me your shit, that is what you are saying cause I didn't feel the knife. I told you a hundred times that when I attack Nathan I saw the knife in his hand, I was so focus on Sam that I never felt the knife cut me. I was fueled with big brothers instincts to kill who ever hurt Sam, I only had on thing on my mind that was getting to Sammy."

"When I was pushed away from my own brother by a so call friend, I hit the Impala hard taking my breath away. Benny helped me up that's why I felt a tug on my shirt, he was the one who put the bones in my wound to slow me down."

"Dean, we have been at this for three days now I can't see how you haven't seen the cut, Jackson said that it took you three days to get to the motel. You showered, change your clothes, and still you didn't notice the cut. You must have felt light headed, warm from fever, and still didn't notice anything."

"Jackson said that when you got out of the car you got dizzy, your skin was pale, you didn't eat much until you got there. He even wanted to check you over but you denied him why?"

"I wanted to see my brother when I got here, not be at any motel or have Jackson check me over. I had to stay one night here before I could see my brother, when I did he only had me in the room for one hour. He wouldn't let me stay to be with him in fear of me hurting him, yes I'm upset with Sammy I wouldn't hurt him being so sick."

"Speaking of that asshole why are you sticking up for him anyway, he plans on taking my brother from me. I'm not taking that laying down I'm letting you know that now, I would fight to keep me with my brother. You or Jackson are not going to keep me from seeing Sammy, you said I'm better now why can't I see him."

"You are getting better Dean with the infection, as for the fever you still have a low grade one. Even one being as low as yours can do harm for Sam, he's slowly recovery from the abused he took and infections. He still has a long ways to go before he has the strength to see anyone; Jackson is keeping a close eye on your brother Dean. When he is ready to see visitors I'll ask Jack if you can see Sam, until then you will have to be patient Dean he needs his rest."

Dean wished these two would stop acting like he's the bad guy in this mess he's in, yes he's angry at Sam he has a right to be. He still loves his brother no matter what his actions were saying, he had to let his little brother know he still loves him. He's getting tired of these two morons keeping him from seeing Sammy, he did try a few days ago to leave the room he was still to weak to walk. Now he does feel stronger then he did back then, he gets tired easily when he walks to the bathroom and back. That will happen with the bad infection he had, it took a toll on his body now he has to recovery from it. Giving himself two more days one way or another he's going to see Sammy.

"You and Jackson can't keep me from seeing my brother Doc, one way or another I will be seeing him."

Dean vented his protest before his body started to wear down, he was feeling exhausted for being awake for a few hours. When he's more aware and awoke he's going to go see Sam, even if that means he have to break from his prison.

~~~SPN~~~

After Matt has taken over Dean's care the last two days, give Jackson more time to be with Sam. He visits him as much as he can in between his other patients, after their last talk he became concerned for Sam's mental health. His friend didn't say it much in words on how he now thought it was a mistake; it was more in his action and the look in his eyes. It hurts him so much to have Sam think it's a mistake to be alive, he had to get his friend to know it's not or he won't get better.

For the last two days Jackson would spend some extra time with Sam, talking to him getting him to a better place in his mind. He's been down this road that Sam is one thinking his brother hated him, he never once thought of taking his own life from it. That's one issue he can't talk about to Sam he's never been there, he knew of a doctor who works at the hospital for this kind of issue. He won't let him talk to Sam about his depression, he might have him lock up in the ward if he did he can't let that happen. Some of Sam's problems have to deal with Benny who's a Vampire; others have to do with the Supernatural that no-one would understand. No Jackson would talk to him personally about what Sam is going through, at least one thing he's a good friend with the doctor so it would be easy.

On the second day of taking care of Sam trying to get him to talk to him, he finally had to take the time to get him to open up to him. Finishing his rounds with his other patients Jackson went to have a talk with his friend, it was late in the evening so he had the time to do so. Walking into the room he saw Sam looking out of the window, he knew he was miles away by the empty stare in his eyes. Closing the door making sure it's shut tight, he walked up to the bed, standing there waiting for Sam to notice him being there. When he didn't he cleared his throat to get the young man's attention, not getting what he wanted he sat on the bed taking his hand, slowly turned Sam's head to face him. Seeing tears running down his cheeks his heart broke, wiping the tears away with his thumbs he smile sadly to the young man. Taking a deep breath he calm his nerves of seeing Sam so shattered, he had to get him to open up on his feelings. If that means letting Sam know about him and Jefferson then he'll do it.

"Sam, I need to talked to you-hey look at me please."

Jackson waited until Sam was looking at him making eye contact.

"I know what you are going through my friend I have been there with Jefferson, a lot of people don't know what happen to us. This was eleven years ago when we were on vacation in Wyoming, we got into a huge fight about our dad. He pass away in my fourth year of medical school we've never been that close, Jefferson kept in touch with him while I lost all contact with him. Not sure how it got started with the fight we were drinking beer, both of us were under the influence of the beverage when the fight happen."

"We have said some horrible things to each other it got heated, we were in our cabin that night when it happen. Let's just say that it ended with Jefferson hitting me hard in the face, which in turned I hit him hard in the face myself. We both stood our ground not moving an inch from the other, and then Jeff said the thing that broke our brotherhood apart. When he walked out slamming the door that ended us as brothers, we didn't talk or contact each other for a year and a half. Until I was seriously injured in a car accident, they weren't sure if I would survive from the injuries cause by the accident. I was in the hospital in a coma for three weeks; they told me that Jefferson never left my side until I woke up. He was there for me during the therapy to regain function in my legs; he never once left my side through the whole thing. Even with everything going on there still was the underline of anger between us, we were working through our issues trying slowly to be brothers again. After I could walk with no assistants from the therapist or walker, he took me back to his house until I can do things for myself."

"Even being there we still had to work on our brotherhood to get it back, couldn't get the anger out of us for what happen. We still hold resentment with each other for what was said that day, every time we talked about it an argument would come out of it. Leaving us both boiling mad at each other not wanting to talk, we finally came to an uneven truth between us so we wouldn't fight. The day we were suppose to talked about our differences, is the day he got a call about two hunters attack by a werewolf. We said some hurtful words to each other before he got into the car; the last thing I said to Jefferson out of anger was 'I hope you get yourself killed'. Four hours later I got the phone call saying that Jefferson died, not a day goes by I wish I never said that to him. He died thinking that I hated him for what happen, I can't take back those words that I said to him on the phone. So see Sam I do know what you are going through, I have been there you have a brother I don't."

"There's more to this story that I don't want to go through here, when I get you to Jim's cabin we can talked more about what was said. I'm just letting you know that you can talk to me Sam, I'm here to listen on how you are feeling my friend you are not alone in this."

Jackson could feel his eyes burning with tears talking about Jefferson; he didn't try to hold them back from Sam. He needed to let his friend know that he's been in the same boat as him, he knows the feeling of sharp hurtful words thrown at you feels like. Bowing his head he felt two thumbs wiping the tears from his cheeks, he wanted to sob right there when it brought back memories of Jefferson. Looking back at Sam he saw tears in his eyes running down his cheeks, he wipe them away giving the young man some comfort. Clearing his throat from all the raw emotions he's feeling, he waited to see what Sam would do. Hearing a soft voice talking to him he listen carefully on what he had to say.

"Jackson, I can't talk yet it's to hard-I need some time to work through the pain, I promise when I'm ready I will talk to you."

"That is all I'm asking Sam take your time my friend I'll be here, I have to go let you get some rest my boy. Let me give you something for the pain so you can sleep tonight, I will see you on Sunday Sam you behave for my nurse. I don't want to hear you being a hungry wolf on the prowl, I might have to have them sedate you if you do." Jackson said to lighten the tension in the room.

Seeing a small smile he knew Sam would be okay tomorrow while he's gone, patting his chest he went to get up to leave. He felt a hand on his wrist looking down at the man on the bed; he could see a sly smile on his face. Wondering what he's up to he waited to see what would happen, what he heard from Sam made him laugh.

"I'll promise to be a hungry wolf on the prowl so I can get the nurse to run."

"Only you would say that Sam, better go warn them now about it." Jackson winked at Sam as he walked to the door.

Glancing back he waited until he knew Sam was out before he walked out the door, walking to the nurses station he told Brandy to keep a close eye on Sam tonight. Leaving a note for Mandy he wanted her to keep a close eye on his friend, giving her instructions to call if he was needed. Heading to his office Jackson had some things to do before he had to leave, sitting behind his desk he glance over at the picture of him, Jefferson, Dean and Sam. He felt a sharp pain in his chest when he looked at the picture, now that he's alone he could let his emotions out in private. Covering his face with his hands he couldn't stop the sob or tears, he let all his emotions loose he didn't stop them at all. He wasn't sure how long he's been sitting there crying like a baby, what made him flinch is when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he thought for a moment it would be Jefferson to comfort him, when he looked over it was Matt with worried look in his eyes. Wiping the tears from his face he cleared his throat, he wasn't sure how his voice would sound like at the moment.

"How long have you been standing here Matt." Jackson said in a raspy tearful voice.

"I just step in your office when I saw you crying Jackson, are you okay is there something I can do."

"I'm fine Matt I talked to Sam about some things about me and Jefferson, brought up a lot of hurt and pain that's still there."

"It's going to take some time for those feeling to heal Jack, with you and Sam talking it will start to heal in time. How would you feel about going out to get a few drinks, along with some dinner at the Italian place."

"Sounds good to me, Matt I'm done for the night, I'll wait for you by the cars."

"My work is done my friend let's go meet you at your place."

Driving to his apartment Jackson got out of his car, walking over to Matt's he got in and they both left for some late dinner.

~~~SPN~~~

Matt finished his rounds for the night walking up to the nurses' station he talked with Kelly, he wanted her to keep a close eye on Dean tonight. He was going to give him a strong sedative to knock him out all night, knowing how he can be when he's anger this way it would be safe for her. He knew that Dean wouldn't hurt Kelly in any way; he just wanted to be on the safe side if he tries to do anything. Handing her the papers he asked for a blank piece of paper, he had to let Rachael know a few things while he was gone. He had a feeling that Dean would give her a hard time about seeing Sam, knowing that he won't be there to help out he'll have one of the orderlies to help. He knew that Dean wouldn't hurt any of his nurses; he would just scare them with his temper to get what he wanted. To keep both safe from harm he'll have an orderly to help out, he'll have a talk to Dean first to let him know he's needs to behave. Writing everything down he handed the paper back to Kelly, saying his goodnight he went to Dean's room. Stepping inside he saw that Dean was glaring at him before he turned to the window, walking up to the bed he got Dean's attention he had a few things he needed to say.

"I'm not going to be here tomorrow Dean, so I need you on your best behavior while I'm away. If you cause Rachael any trouble she has my consent to get an orderly involved, they are not to be fool with Dean they will used force if they need to."

"Are you threatening me Matt, you really think that I would hurt a lady, what kind of man do you think I am."

"No Dean, I don't think you would hurt my nurses in any way, you'll just scare them to get what you want. I left a note to her on how to handle you, I don't want to hear you threatening any of my staff. I know how you can be Dean when you are angry, don't you dare pull any kind of stunts either especially about Sam."

"Don't get my brother involved with this Matt that's one thing you don't want to do, I know I can't see him until this fever goes down. You really think that I would endanger my brother's life when he's this weak, yes I want to see him so bad it hurts but I won't do it if it will hurt him."

"I know you won't Dean I just have to make sure you see it that way, I'll see you Sunday I better not get a call tomorrow. If I do I'm going to come down here and kick your ass, got my point young man."

"Yeah doc I got your point if you don't mind I have to piss."

Matt watch Dean walked into the bathroom watching him closing the door he whispered, 'TMI Dean don't need to hear that' as he poured him some water placing two crushed up sleeping pills. Hearing the door open he saw Dean slowly moving back to bed, he can tell his side is still bothering him by the way he walked. Handing him the glass of water he shook his head, as he smelled it, rolling his eyes he watch the man drank all the liquid. Placing the glass on the table he walked to the door opening it, he glance back before stepping out seeing Dean fast a sleep. Closing the door softly he walked down the hall towards Jackson office, he needs to know what time to met him at his place tomorrow. Knocking on the door he didn't hear a response from inside, he was about to leave to check Sam's room is when he heard crying. Worried for his friend he walked inside in a rush to see what happen, seeing his friend sobbing he got worried as he hurried to the desk. When he got his attention he was relief that nothing bad happen, felt bad that he had to confront some issues of him and Jefferson. Asking him if he wanted to go out for a late dinner, they headed out the door letting him know he'll met him at his place. Dropping him off a few hours later he asked what time to pick him up.

"Jackson, what time do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?"

"Jill said her party is at 12 noon be here around eleven, this way we can stop off and get Jack a present."

"Alright I'll see you then my friend get some good sleep, you look exhausted man like the walking dead." Matt said with a laugh.

"I would say the same about you my friend, you don't look much better then me." Jackson said with a smirk before he headed in his apartment.

~~~SPN~~~

Waking from a warm good sleep Jackson glance over at his alarm clock, seeing it was eight thirty in the morning. Stretching he laid in bed for a little longer in no hurry to get out of bed, he was glad that Matt asked him to go out last night. He was not in a good place after he talked with Sam last night, he needed a break and Matt gave it to him with some drinks and dinner. Getting out of bed he went into the kitchen to start some coffee, after that he went to the bathroom to take a hot shower. After his shower he dried himself off, went into his bedroom to put jeans and a button down shirt on. Walking back into the kitchen bare foot, he poured himself some coffee getting a bowl for oatmeal he put it in the microwave. As his meal was cooking he put two pieces of bread in the toaster, when the toast was ready he put some butter on them. Getting his oatmeal and coffee he sat outside on his patio, the cool breeze felt good as he ate his meal. Hearing the birds singing over the sound of the morning traffic, this is when he miss being over in the mountains by the clinic. There you hear no traffic just the birds singing and the quietness, he loved looking out at the mountains when he had his breakfast. Shaking that thought out of his head he didn't want to of Jefferson, knowing if he kept thinking about it he would be thinking of his brother.

After he ate his meal he place the bowl and cup in his sink to clean before he leaves, getting his shoes and socks on he wanted to be ready when Matt arrives. As he started to clean his dishes the phone started to ring, dread over came him thinking it's the hospital about Sam. Seeing Matt's name he sighs in relief it was only his friend calling, answering the phone the man told him he'll be a little late. Hanging up the phone he shook his head at his friend as he smile, he knew Matt would be sleeping in which was okay with him. Grabbing his keys and coat he walked out the door locking it behind him, stepping out into the parking lot he waited for his friend to arrived.

Rolling over on his back Matt looked at the clock by his bed, he jerk up when he saw it was nine fifty five in the morning. Rushing out of bed he made himself a cup of coffee before he called Jackson, hearing a laugh on the other end he knew he was going to hear about it. Taking his shower getting him some breakfast and coffee, he got himself ready and out the door in an hour. Driving to Jackson's apartment he ready himself for the jokes, he knew his friend would tell him something smart about him being late. Seeing his friend waiting for him outside he saw he was already laughing, shaking his head he told his friend to get in the car.

"Stop laughing Jackson and get in the damn car, I don't want to hear it buddy or your walking."

"So what did you meet up with a pretty lady after you drop me off, had a late night with her didn't even invited me what a friend you are."

Jackson laughs when Matt glared at him with no heat, he couldn't keep the smile off his face. Seeing Jackson happy this morning he didn't want to ruin it, after seeing him so down last night he wanted to keep him in good mood. Stopping off at the Wal-Mart they both pick out one gift from the both of them, they would wrap it once when they get to Jill house. Jackson called her letting her know they are running a little late, she asked them to park a street down from the house and walked up. She didn't want to give the surprise away until he stepped in the house, as they both reach the door Jill open it letting them both in. Seeing that everyone was there they asked if they could get their present wrapped, getting gift-wrap from her Kelly wrapped the present for them. Placing it next to the other outside on the porch, looking around both men saw everything in black shaking their heads. They both looked at each other and laugh; they are both reaching fifty themselves this is not what they want.

Hearing a car pulling up Jill had everyone hide in the bedrooms, kitchen, family room, when Jack walked in he was surprise when all the people shouted surprise. He couldn't keep the smile off his face when he saw all their friends; he hugged his wife kissing her on the lips as a thank you. As the party began he walked around talking with everyone, when he got to Jackson and Matt he was glad to see them. Knowing they will be having a fifth in a few years of each other, he started to joke with them about their party.

"Thank you for you two coming to my party, the next one will be yours right Jackson."

"I don't think so Jack Matt will be fifty before I will, so the next one will be for him. I think we should paint his whole house black, inside and out alone with balloons, cake, streamers, candles-what don't you like it Matt."

Jackson said with a smirk on his face until Matt hit him.

"If that is how you want to play Jackson I'll paint your office black, hanging steamers from your door along with balloons all black. Will do the same with your apartment get all the doctors and nurses to paint it, let all your neighbors know it's your birthday have a pool party all in black. Oh what you don't like that my friend."

All three men looked at each other busting out laughing with the images in their mind, getting their laughter under control they headed outside for lunch. After everyone had their fill of food when all the cleaning was done, Jill had her husband sit at the table to open his presents. When he open Matt's and Jackson's present he busted out with laughter, holding it up everyone laughed when he showed them what he got. On the front of the box was a cartoon figure of a patient in his underwear, with holes were he would have to pull parts out without hitting the sides. Everyone got a good laugh at the game both doctors got him, after everyone had left for the night Jill, Jack, Matt and Jackson played the game. For two hours they played dopy doctor pretending to be surgeons operating on a patient, every time they hit the side it would make the nose glow red with a peep noise. When it was time to leave Jack and Jill walked them out the door, thanking them for coming and for the game they played. As Matt and Jackson walked back to the car to head home, Matt was glad that his friend came along to have some fun. Getting in the car he pulled from the side of the street to head to Jackson apartment, glancing over he saw how relax his friend is with a hug smile on his face.

"Glad you decided to come Jackson did you good to have some laughs, I just hope you are a better surgeon in the OR then you were on the game."

"Looks who's talking Matt, you got more red noses then I did. Couldn't even get the shin bone out without getting a buzzing noise, does that happen when you have surgeries."

Both men looked at each other and laugh at their comments, knowing that they are the two best surgeons in the hospital. Dropping his friend off he told him he'll see him tomorrow at work; driving home Matt couldn't wipe the smile off his face.

~~~SPN~~~

Late in the night a figure walked the halls of the hospital ducking into rooms, when staff members were seen the figure hid in the shadows. Keeping a keen eye for anyone else the figured walked further down the hallway had one purpose in mind as it stalked through the shadows. Coming upon a door it peek inside to see what it came for, a wicked smile forum on the face when it saw what it wanted. Before it could open the door it heard footsteps coming it's way, hiding in the shadows it waited for the person to leave. Seeing the nurse entered the room to the person it wanted, the figure hiss out a growl of angered. The figure waited as long as it could before it had to leave, stepping outside of the building the figured growled loud and deep in frustrations.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Finishing with their rounds for the morning, Kelly and Mandy headed to their computers. They needed to put their information in, to let the morning staff knew what has been done. After she entered all the information on the patients, Kelly stopped off at Dean's room to check up on him. He's been out all night with the sleeping pills Matt gave him; she wanted to check his vitals and temperature before she left. Seeing that his fever went down another degree she was pleased, when he was emitted his fever was 103, now it's to 99.9 still a low grade. Stepping out of the room she saw the nurse walking up to the desk, heading back she had to let her know about Dean.

Giving her all the information she needed to know about Dean, alone with Matt's instruction on what Dean can and cannot do. That is she have any problems with the patient what so ever, to get one of the orderlies to help her if needed.

She even let her know that Dean can be a handful when he's angry, if he does become this way not to pay attention to his moods. If she did he would take advantage of it and used it, Matt would want to know if he does anything happens. Making sure that she understands all the information she gave her, she asked if there were any questions hearing no she got her things to leave.

Saying their goodbyes Kelly headed to the elevators to head home for the day, she'll get a few hours of sleep before she would have to go to Jill's house.

~~~SPN~~~

After checking up on Sam Mandy headed back to the desk, she had already put in all the information from other patients into the computer. She has taken a liking to Sam even though he's been asleep all night, there's something about him that makes he heart melt when she sees him. She really couldn't put her finger on it on how she felt; there was something about the man that she can't explain. It wasn't love or attraction she has for him, more of an older sibling love she has for the man. She has heard Jill talk about Sam, along with Jackson saying things about him, it's like she already knew the man. Now he's under her care wishes that he was up so see could see what it is, she's a patient lady she can wait for the day to come. Before she left for the day she wanted to take a look one more time, she wanted to make sure he was okay and still asleep. As she checks the chart one last time she saw movement from the bed, maybe she now can see what's so attractive about the young man. To her disappointment he didn't open his eyes, he was still under the sedative Jackson gave him.

Moving to the head of the bed she carded her hands in his hair, smiling softly she had to say something to the man.

"From what Jill and Jackson has said about you Sam, I can't wait to meet you when you are awake. You need your sleep to get your strength back honey, one day I'll get to see what so special about you."

Walking out of the room she headed for the desk of the ICU, seeing the night shift stepping through the doors. Walking up to the nurse behind the desk she let them know about the patients, letting one know to keep a close eye on Sam Winchester. Giving her the instruction Jackson left for his patient, he wanted to make sure Sam eats, takes his medicine and get some rest. Seeing that they will do as the doctor asked of them, she handed over the papers to them.

Saying their goodbyes Mandy headed home, while the nurses made their morning rounds.

Through both their day the nurses had it pretty easy for the most part, one had to get an orderly in to help her with Dean. Wasn't that big of a deal he was just getting out of hand with her, he happen to be walking past the door when he heard shouting. Concern for the nurse he went in to see what was the problem, seeing that she had to give Dean his medicine that was fighting her. He asked her if she needed any help that he'll hold him down so she can give it to him, she was about to agree when Dean told her to give him the pill. The rest of her day went without any more problems from her patient, she felt sorry for him knowing how much he wanted to see his brother. At one point she walked in with him trying to leave the room, well at least trying to walk out of the room. He only got a few steps from the bed when she caught him, glaring at him she help him back in bed pulling the covers to his chest. He grumble the whole time about her being nurse hatch, she didn't even interact with him when he said it. Knowing from the notes from Matt not to encourage him when he's in the mood, as he got comfortable he glared at her for stopping him. Finally he gave her the puppy eyes that Sammy does, hearing a sigh he knew it just might work until he saw the look. Mumbling to himself, "well that didn't work," he had to get her to do what he wanted.

"Dean, you know you can't leave the room to go see Sam, Matt gave your orders to stay in bed."

"I just want to see Sammy have to make sure he's okay."

"Your brother is fine, Dean he's being taken care of, and Brandy knows how to handle your brother."

"Does she really know how to handle my brother, does she know what to look for when he's in pain, or is he's having a night terror, does she know how to handle that. When he has a panic attack does she know how to rub his neck gently, talking to him in a soft tone, until he calms down. When he's having one of his emo trips, does she know on how to handle them." Seeing he's not getting an answer he went on. "I take that as a no she don't know how to handle my brother, I have been taking care of Sammy since my mom brought him home. He don't have to tell me what's wrong with him since I already know, just because I got lost for a little while don't mean I don't care."

"Dean, I never said or Matt never said you don't care about your brother, he's weak right now with your fever can do more damage to him. I know it's hard to wait it out but you have to, I don't want to see you out of this bed, unless-it's to that room over there." She pointed to the bathroom door. "Other then that you stay in this bed, until Matt gives you the okay to leave."

Seeing the defeated look she felt bad for the older brother, she had to go by Matt's orders on what can be going on. Seeing him drifting off she walked out of the room, she'll be back later to check on him.

Bringing in his breakfast the nurse place it on the table, she moved it closer so Sam could eat his meal. Seeing him eying the food with little interest she knew now why Jackson stayed, she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable with her being there. Before she walked out she let Sam know what Jackson wanted.

"Sam, Jackson wants you to eat all your food honey, I'll be back in an hour to get the plate."

Watching as the nurse left the room Sam removed the cover, making a face at the powered eggs, plain toast and juice. Knowing that Jackson probably told the nurse on what to do, he picks up the fork to eat the mess on his plate. When she returned he had his food half eaten and juice was gone, smiling that he ate she left the room with the plate. Between the meals and checking his vitals, temperature, giving him pain medicine, she came to realize how special Sam was to Jackson.

Each time she came in Sam looked away didn't make eye contact, she didn't take it personally since she knew something was wrong. It was not her business to ask why, or what's the matter, it was her job to make sure he ate and took his pills. When she came in with his dinner she notice a change in Sam, he was looking out the window breathing heavily. She became concern for her patient walking up swiftly to the bed, as she was about to come around the bed she saw tears. Broke her heart to see the tears in his beautiful eyes, she started to back up to give him some privacy until he spoke to her.

"I-I'm sorry-didn't mean to scare you."

"Its okay Sweetie, don't be sorry, here's your dinner when you are ready. I'll be back in a few hours, give you time to eat."

Sam smiles at her through his tears as she left the room, he wish he could control his emotions right now. He's been thinking that maybe it wasn't the right choice to come back; he should have stayed where he was away from the pain. Taking a shaky deep breath he tried to hold back the tears that threaten to come, blinking his eyes he lost the battle and let them fall down his cheeks. He wasn't sure how long he sat crying in bed, taking deep breaths he had to calm himself down before he made himself sick. Looking over at the plate with the now cold food, he lifted the lid to see a sandwich of roast beef, Jell-O and juice. When Brandy returned Sam ate half his sandwich, all his Jell-O and juice, taking the plate she gave him his pain medicine before walking out the door.

Leaning against the doorframe she had to calm herself before going back to work, seeing the young man in tears broke her heart. Taking a deep breath she walked away from the door before she started to cry, placing the plate on the cart she headed to her other patients before she head for home.

~~~SPN~~~

As they were finishing up their work when the night sift came in, seeing Mandy walking up to the desk she smiled at her. Wondering why she had that kind of smile she asked what's it's about.

Hearing that Sam been up most of the day talking a little, most of the time he was with drawl when she came in. Looking at the chart she saw that Sam ate some of his food, not enough that Jackson would be happy about. At least he ate some of the food he was given, even though it was only a half of what was on his plate.

Saying their goodbyes Mandy started her evening rounds; stopping off at Sam's room she was worried about him. Quietly stepping into the room she tiptoe over to the bed, looking over the chart she like the readings. He is doing so much better then he was a few days ago, seeing what Brandy gave him and what time, she'll come back in a few hours to check him over.

Finishing up her rounds when Kelly walked up to the station, looking over the Dean's chart she didn't look too happy. Wondering if it was something she did wrong she had to know.

Letting the head nurse know what happen during the day, Kelly wasn't to happy with Dean's behavior. She had to get one of the orderlies involve to take his medicine, that he argue with her about seeing his brother earlier. Knowing that Matt won't be happy on what happen, hearing her saying she sorry for what happen Kelly let her know it's okay.

"I know what you mean, Sweetie, I will most likely hear some of the argument before I go home."

Kelly and Mandy's evening went smoothly with the Winchesters, both brother slept through the night. Mandy made sure she check up on Sam every two hours, she wanted to make sure he wasn't in any kind of pain. As her shift was winding down for the day, she was entering the information in the computer. After she was done getting out of her chair, she headed to Sam's room for one more check up. As she checks his vital she was glad his blood pressure and heart rate are up, his temperature is now 99.1 went down a few degrees. Checking the drips for his medicine and antibiotics making sure he's getting the right dosage, seeing that everything was at the right numbers she wrote it down for Jackson. As she put the clipboard back in place, is when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Glancing at the young man she waited, it was her chance to see if he does have dreamy eyes.

Watching as the eyes blink open slowly, she backs away from the bed. Not wanting to make Sam panic in any way, once when he looked over at her is when her heart melted. He did have gorgeous hazel eyes like a puppy; smiling to him she was going to ask if he's okay. Until she heard Sam asking her a question instead.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Sorry Sam, wanted to see if you have gorgeous eyes, and you do-"

She didn't get the chance to finish her compliment when Jackson walked in.

"Thank you Mandy I know I have gorgeous eyes, Sam's are okay if you like the puppy eyes he has."

Jackson said with a smile as he walked up to the bed, he was worried about Sam and how he was doing. Getting the clipboard from the nurse he looks over the reading, he was happy to see how well his friend is doing. Placing the clip board back in place he walked over to Sam, he wanted to see if he could breath better with the oxygen mask on or off. Asking Sam to take a deep breath hold it then release it, taking the mask off he asked him to do it again. By the third time of the breathing exercise without the mask, Jackson could see Sam struggling with his breathing. Putting it back on he waited until his breathing to go back to normal, his lungs still haven't healed yet from the fluids. He still don't know how he got so much in his lungs, now that Sam is more awake he can get his answer.

"Thank you for taking care of Sam during the night Mandy, hope he didn't chase you around the room. Told him no wolf chances of the nurses while I was gone, hope he behave himself for you."

Jackson said with a wink towards Mandy.

"He was a lamb last night doctor gave me no problems at all, slept straight through the night he just woke up a few minutes ago."

"You said a lamb, are you sure it wasn't a wolf in sheep clothing."

Hearing a giggle coming from the man on the bed, Jackson smile to himself to hear his friend laugh. Mandy laugh at Jackson as she heard the giggle coming from Sam, shaking her head at the doctor she didn't want to leave. Her shift has ended and she had to get home to her family, saying her goodbyes she walked out the door with a huge grin on her face. Watching the nurse leave the room Jackson turned his attention to Sam, he could tell that he had a rough time yesterday. Not wanting to get into what happen yesterday, he needed to know about the fluids he had in his lungs. First thing is to have him eat his breakfast then they'll talk, hearing the door open a nurse came in with his food. Moving out of the way he watch as the nurse pushed the table closer, after she left he watch Sam taking the lid off the plate. Seeing the look on his face bad him laugh inside, he hated hospital food but knew Sam needed it.

"Sam I know the food is not that good to look at or eat, please try to eat all that's on the plate okay. I'll be back in a half an hour, we need to talk about some things not what we talked about yesterday."

Patting his friend shoulder he left him alone to eat, walking into his office he sat behind his desk. Grabbing his phone he called his friend Jacob Cobb he is the psychiatrist at the hospital, he wants to talk to him about Sam mental health. He's worried about his friend state of mind on how he's dealing, with everything that has happen to him in the last few months. Dialing his number he waited for him to pick up the phone, by the third ring he wonder if he was with a patient. He was about to hang up when his friend answered the phone, he could tell that he was busy so he'll make it short.

"Jacob this is Jackson, I want to know if we can talk today."

"I have a patient in ten minutes Jackson, what did you need to talk about?"

"Long story short Jacob my friend Sam needs some help, I want to help him through it the best I can."

"Do you want me to talk to him I can make an appointment today."

"The thing is he's sick and recovering from his injuries, he can't leave ICU he's to weak for that. When you get the time can you call me back, I don't want you to miss your appointment."

"I see you need some questions answers about your friend state of mind, I'll be free for lunch do you want to go out and talk. I have an hour in between my patient so we can leave here, go some where quiet with less stress."

"That will be great Jacob don't take it the wrong way my friend, I know Sam he'll shut down if you try to talk to him. I need some help on his state his mind is in right now, I don't want to go over on the phone I'll meet you at your office at 12."

"That's fine Jackson I understand what you are saying, I can help you understand what Sam is going through. We don't want to push him further into his mind and loose him, you know what's best for him so I'll meet you at 12."

Hanging up with his friend Jackson headed back to Sam's room, stepping inside he saw the plate was gone. Sam head was turned to the window he could see he was trying to hold it together, clearing his throat he wanted to let Sam know he's back, waiting until Sam looked at him his breath hitch in his chest. He has never seen Sam so broken before it hurt his heart, seeing the blank look in his eyes he wanted to cry. Taking a deep breath he sat down next to him on the bed, he needed to ask some questions to Sam.

"Sam I need to asked you some questions, are you up for them."

"Yeah, what questions do you need to know?"

"When you first came in I heard rattling in your chest, when I took X-rays I saw some fluids in your lungs. Wasn't a lot so I wasn't too concern at the time, do to your other injuries you had for me to fix. The next few days I kept a close eye on your breathing, notice you were still having a hard time to breath. I took you back to X-rays to get another print on your lungs, which are when I notice your right lungs had lot of fluids. I can't explain how you got so much fluid in your lungs that fast, did the hunters dunk you in some water, try to drown you. I need to know Sam don't mean to bring up bad memories."

"No, they didn't try to drown me, even if two of them wanted to. They water board me for two days, they did it four to five times a day. I felt like I was drowning couldn't breath when they did it, wish they would have it would been a lot easier if the have. My chest hurt so bad the day they took me to see Dean, I didn't-couldn't-wish they didn't-"

Sam couldn't get any more out without panicking he was having a hard time breathing, feeling hands on his shoulders for a moment he thought it was Dean. Looking up he saw it was Jackson talking to him calmly; listening to his friend Sam got his breathing under control.

"Sam, it's okay calm down my friend, that's it sorry didn't mean to get you all worked up. I'll give you something to relax you, won't put you to sleep just calm you down."

After giving Sam a mild sedative he waited until his friend was calm, he felt bad getting Sam all upset over what happen to him. How could other humans do that to a person to torture them like that, what was so bad that Sam deserved it. Blocking that from his mind he couldn't get himself angry right now, he had to get Sam well so they can leave here. Seeing that his friend has calm down into a light snooze, he tiptoe out of the room, he had other patients to see before he goes for lunch.

~~~SPN~~~

Kelly was finishing up her rounds when Matt showed up at the desk, she can tell he wanted to know if anything has happen. Knowing he won't be happy about what happen with Dean yesterday, she knew he won't be angry at Rachael or Donny.

"Doctor when I came in yesterday Rachael and I had a talk, she did okay with Dean he didn't really give her a lot of problems. He did try to escape his room she caught him in time, stood her ground to him so proud of her. One time Donny had to come in and help with his medication, she was having problems giving it to him. Other then that she didn't have any real problems with Dean, he's been a sleep all night was just about to check up on him."

"I did expect some rough time Rachael will have with Dean, glad it wasn't as bad as it was with me or Jackson. I still don't want him fighting with you nurses like that; he's needs to listen to what we tell him. Let's go check that hard head of a man in that room."

Matt said with a smirk to Kelly.

Walking into the room Matt saw Dean getting back in bed, looking at him carefully he wonder what he was doing. Seeing the look in the doctors eyes Dean knew what he's thinking, sighing annoyingly he told him what he did.

"Don't worry Matt ,I took a piss, was told by nurse hatch not to leave my room or else."

"Dean nurse hatch does have a name, it's Rachael and she was doing what I asked her to do. Let me check you over and see how you are doing, I read all the reading she wrote down glad your fever has gone down."

"Does that mean I can go see Sammy-you said my fever is gone."

Dean was getting antsy to see his brother; he's getting tired of these doctors stopping him.

"I did not say your fever is gone Dean, I said it has gone down from 99.9 to 99.1. You still have a low grade fever young man, that won't be good for Sam who still fighting his fever. Let me check your stitches for infection, they are looking better but they are still swollen and red. The antibiotic I'm giving you is helping fighting it, I want you to eat all our breakfast and drink you juice young man."

"Don't talk to me like I'm five years old Matt, I'm an adult so talk to me like one."

"I'm might talk to you like an adult if you stop acting like a child, sitting here sulking and having a temper tantrum cause you can't get your way. You can fight me Dean don't you dare fight my nurses, that don't go over with me so it better stop."

"Boy your bed side manners need to be work on doc, need an attitude adjustment course to get rid of that."

"You are not the only patient I have ever had with an attitude like this Dean, I know how to handle people like you I don't back down. Once when your infection has cleared up, your fever goes down to normal, maybe then I'll asked Jackson if you can see Sam."

"You and Jackson both suck big time on your attitude with me, I don't give up so easily when it comes to Sammy doc. One way or another I'm seeing my brother before I leave, then I'll be back to get my brother before Jackson takes off with him."

"That is something you need to talk to Jackson once when I allow you to talk to him, you got harsh feelings for him I won't let you harm him. When the time comes for you two to talk, I will be in the room with you both. I don't trust you alone with him might end up hurting my friend, I don't want you arrested for assault or keep you from seeing Sam."

"Don't worry doc I won't be holding back when I see Jackson, he'll get both barrels of my gun if you know what I mean. I won't shoot him don't worry about that he'll get my wrath for sure, I won't be holding back either you got my word on that."

"That is why you won't be alone with him when you two talk, Jackson does need to talk to you Dean. You need to hear his side on this matter and why, you are going to listen him before you say a word. If you don't go by it you won't talk to Jackson, or you won't be seeing Sam for a long time."

Matt knew he was treading on a thin line with Dean by saying that, he had to get the young man to listen to his rules. Seeing the glare and anger roll from the man in bed, he knew it was time to leave the room. Letting Dean know he'll be back to see him in a few hours.

Dean laid in bed watching Matt leave his room, he could feel his anger boiling inside of him. He knew the doctor was right about seeing Sammy, he don't think he could hold his anger in when he sees Jackson. He has to know why his so call friend is taking Sammy from him, how is he going to work out his problems with his brother. Taking slow deep breaths Dean close his eyes to calm himself down, being this angry won't help him at all to see his brother.

~~~SPN~~~

Four hours later Dean was walking out of the bathroom door, when he heard someone calling for Jackson. When he heard the room number his heart slammed into his chest, thinking of the worse he had to get to his brother. Running as fast as he could pushing the pain in the back of his mind, he had to get to Sammy's room like now. As he reach the door he heard shouting inside of the room, knowing one of the voices his blood boiled with hatred. Pushing the door open with a rush of angered and hatred fueling him, he went into the room like a mother tigress attacking to protect her cub. What he saw before made everything go red, he was on a killing spree and nothing would stop him. As he charges into the room setting his eyes on his prey, there was no stopping him when he rushed for his intended target. One word growl out of his mouth when he slammed into the figure.

"BENNY!"

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Jackson let his head nurse know that he'll be leaving the hospital for an hour, before walking out of ICU he check in with Sam. Seeing his friend eating his lunch he didn't step in the room, not wanting to disturb him while he ate. Heading down the hall he went to the fifth floor to meet up with Jacob, seeing his friend on the phone he waited outside his office. Hearing the conversation ending he walked into the room, he didn't want to go in until he finished his phone call. Seeing his friend looking up at him, Jackson waited for him to leave the room.

Before him meeting up with Jackson Jacob had one phone call to make, he needed to get a hold of his nurse about a patient. Giving her the information he needed asking her to call, he had other patients to see in an hour wouldn't have time. As he finished his call he looked up to see Jackson entering his office, motioning to his friend he'll be done in a minute. Getting off the phone he stood up from his desk, walking over to Jackson he place a hand on his shoulder. He was glad to see his friend it's been a while since they seen each other, patting his hand on his shoulder they both walked out of the room. Walking outside Jackson asked his friend where he wanted to eat; it really didn't matter to him where they go.

"Jacob, where to do you want to go for lunch?"

"There's a quiet diner down the street from here Jackson, we can go there and talk about your friend."

Getting into the car Jacob headed towards the diner, pulling into the parking lot, which wasn't full. He found a place next to the door to park, getting out the car both men walked inside the diner. Waiting to be seated Jacob ask for a place in the back, the waitress lead them to a booth in the far corner. Getting their drinks ordered as she gave them their menus, as the looked she want to get them their beverages. When she returned they gave her their orders on what they wanted, picking up the menus she went to put their order in. As Jacob watch her to leave he turned his attention unto Jackson, now was a good time to talk about his friend.

"Jackson, what did you need to asked me about Sam?"

"I want to asked you how would I approach Sam to open up, he's been through a lot of pain lately. I can see that he thinks he made the wrong choice, of being alive instead of going to the other side. Don't say it in words I can see it in his eyes on how he's feeling, he's showing signs of depression which is scaring me Jacob. Sits on the bed looking out the window with no light in his eyes, when he looks at me it's a blank stare I see. I want to help him through this I just don't know how, where do I begin to get him to open up."

"You are helping him by being there for support Jackson, he's going to know that you won't give up on him. Take it slow let him make the first move on his feelings, I know that will be hard to do Jack believe me. Some people need the encouragement; others need the time to sort things out, while others won't open up at all. I would tell you to take baby steps with Sam while he's here, be there for him you don't have to talk. Being in the room with him will give him a sense of belonging here, with your presence he'll know he's not alone in this."

"When I first get a new patient we'll talk a little about themselves, so I can get to know the person I'm helping. Gradually I will get them to talk about what's bothering them, it's a work in progress in time I'll get them to open up. It won't be over night Jackson will take a month or more, depends on how much hurt they've been though. I found out to that having a family member come with them, would help them feel more at ease as we talk."

"I do sit with Sam when I get the time in between my patients, he's not been eating much so I'll sit with him. Making sure that he eats the food he's given by the nurses, I don't say anything since I'm eating myself. It's the only time where I can actually sit down and eat, if I don't then I skip lunch cause I'm so busy. Before I leave for the day I'll go and sit with Sam for a while, try to make it when they serve him his dinner. I'll make sure he gets his pain medicine before I leave the room, will stay until I know he's a sleep."

"You are taking the right steps Jackson being there for Sam, just letting him know you are there is helping. Don't push him in any way my friend it won't help, know his boundaries when it comes to his emotions. If he asked you to leave him alone do so, I know it will be hard to do it, you have to do it for Sam's sake. There will be days where he's not in the mood for anyone, he won't eat don't get to worried about it. One moment he might show anger and frustration throwing anything, the next he'll be crying uncontrollably, or he'll just sit there looking into space. Don't get yourself work up when he does this, he can't help what's happening to him his emotion will be all over. Leave the room for an hour or so, then come back and see how he is, if he wants someone there. If he gets to much for you get someone else to help you, does he have any family you can get a hold of?"

"It's going to be hard to do that Jacob cause I want to help him, I know you are only saying it to help me with Sam. As for family he has a brother that is part of the problem, which I can't get into that that's between me, Sam and Dean."

"I wouldn't let you tell me what's going on with the brothers, that is doctor patient confidential that's between you and them. I know it will be hard for you Jackson to do what I said; it will be in Sam's best interest to do so. I'm assuming you will be taking him some place when he's release, with it being just the two of you." Seeing his friend shake his head yes. "When you get there let him be by himself for a few days, let him make the move Jackson give him the space he needs. When he's ready he will talk to you, if you want I can come over one day and see Sam myself. I might get something's out of him then you can, I'm not saying you can't sometimes having someone else helps."

"I know what you are saying Jacob and thanks might take you up on that offer, I don't know how I'm going to get Dean to understand. Right now we are not at a good place in our friendship, he mad as hell at me right now. He thinks I'm taking his brother away from him, in a way I am but not the way he thinks. I'm going to have a talk with him before we leave, make him understand I'm only trying to help Sam. Here's are meal, lets eat then talk more."

After eating their meals in silence Jacob went over other things Jackson can do, that will help Sam come out of his shell. Arriving back to the hospital they both walked up to the elevator, reaching the floor he needed Jackson turned to his friend.

"Thanks Jacob for the talk, I know what to do with Sam, if I have anymore questions I'll give you a call."

"You know where I am friend don't be a stranger."

Patting him on the shoulder Jackson got off on his floor, walking down the hall he passed Dean's room. Standing there by the closed door he thought for a minute to go in, thinking twice about it he kept going. He wanted to check up on Sam to see how he was doing; walking into his room what he saw broke his heart. Listening to what Jacob said he stepped out of the room quietly, leaving Sam to deal with his emotions, which was hard for him.

~~~SPN~~~

Walking from the shadows behind the hospital a figure crept around the building, keeping an eye out for anyone who might see him. Looking around the corner of the building keeping to the shade, he had to see where the door was from where he stood. Seeing that it was too far for him to walk in the direct sunlight, he moved to the back of the building where there was shade. Walking up to a door that was ajar, he looked around the open area to see if anyone was looking. Seeing a group of people standing off to one side, he knew they left it open to get back in. Opening the door quietly he sneak inside, leaving the door the way it was so not to draw attention.

Upon entering he saw staircase in front of him an a door leading into the building, opening the door looking to the left then to the right he change his mind. Walking to the staircase he started to climb to the floor he needed, seeing the number four he open the door to look around. Seeing no one in the hallway he step out of the doorway, going in the direction he knew where his prize would be. As he walked a couple of nurses walked past him, saying hi they kept on walking down the hallway. When he came to the end he could go right or left, taking a right he walked like he was visiting someone. Not wanting to let anyone know he wasn't supposed to be there, he walked with his head held high looking confident. As he past room 425 he sneers at the door knowing who was in there, he kept on walking until he got to the ICU doors. Looking through the window he saw that no one was at the desk, opening the door he looked behind him before stepping inside. Keeping close to the wall he looked inside the room he wanted, seeing one nurse and the patient he smiled wickedly. Licking his lips like a man would look at a steak, he couldn't wait to sink his teeth in the flesh of the man. Tasting his blood before gave him a thrill like no other he tasted before, thinking about it made his mouth water for the blood. Stepping inside he closed the door behind him without locking it, seeing the nurse looked up at him he smile at her. She stood between him and Sam keeping him away from her patient, she didn't know whom he was but he had to leave.

As the nurse was taking Sam's vitals writing them down on the clipboard, she heard the door closing by itself. Wondering why it closed she looked up to check it out, when she did she saw a man in blue jeans, wool jacket, and a cap. Startle by his presence she got herself between him and Sam, seeing him stare at Sam made her shiver. The look in his dark lifeless eyes if she didn't know any better, she would think Sam was a piece of meat to eat. The smile on his face made her skin crawl with chills, she had to get him out of the room away from Sam. She found her voice after the shock worn off of the intruder; she had to get him out before anything happen to her or Sam.

"Sir, you are not supposed to be in the room, I would need you to leave."

"Sweetheart, I'm not leaving until I get what I came for."

She shiver even more at the sound of his voice when he talked, his tone was so cold it chilled her bones. Staying between him and Sam she reach for the call bottom, before she could press it she heard Sam's heart monitor going off. Looking at her patient who was wide eye with terror, his breathing was coming in short pants. Knowing she had to get him to calm down she had to get the man out, reaching for the call bottom as she press it she felt herself being thrown backwards. Landing hard on the floor the hit took her breath away, as she tried to catch her breath she saw the man walking towards her. Feeling panic she tried to get away heading for the door, as she got herself off the floor two cold hands grabbed her from behind. She screams in pain when teeth sank into her neck above her right shoulder, hearing a sucking sound made her sick to her stomach. Feeling light headed as he kept drinking from her, when the pain stop she couldn't keep her eyes open. Feeling the hands on her head the last thing she saw was a nurse running in before everything went black.

Sam listen to the nurse as he looked out the window lost in his thoughts, hearing her talking to someone he kept looking out the window. Until he heard the voice of the person sent panic through Sam, he didn't have to look to know whom that voice belongs to. His breathing pick up as did his heart rate in the fear he was in; he couldn't catch his breath as he was having a panic attack. Feeling the nurse bending over him hitting the call bottom, next thing he saw the nurse being pushed away from the bed. Hearing a sickening thud then a scream he knew what was happening, Benny was attacking the nurse to get to him. Hearing someone else coming in then running out of the room, he thought he heard someone talking far away. Turning his head he saw Benny feeding on the nurse, before he broke her neck letting her fall limp on the floor. When the vampire turned around with blood on his face, smiling wickedly at Sam, he couldn't do anything. He could feel his lungs burn with the lack of oxygen he can't get, even with the mask on he couldn't catch a breath. He knew he can't move do to his injuries from the hunters; he was a sitting duck to a vampire who wants his blood. His heart was pounding so hard; it felt like it would burst out of his chest at any minute. In between his gasp for air he tried to call for help, which only came out as a gasping whisper. His eyes grew wide with horror as Benny walked up to the bed, feeling his cold hand on his chest spike his heart rate. He knew he had to get his breathing under control, if he didn't he would pass out leaving him more vulnerable. It was easier said then done with him having a panic attack, having his worse nightmare standing over him. Looking at him like a piece of raw meat hanging on a hook, waiting to be eaten by a wild animal.

Seeing him leaning in he could feel his icy cold breath on his neck, shivering as he felt a tongue licking his skin. Feeling himself loosing the battle he hope that Benny will do it quick, closing his eyes he waited for the pain to come. His lungs were on fire now due to the lack of oxygen, it was getting difficult to even catch a breath. Seeing black dots forming in his sight he knew his time has neared, with everything going gray he was ready to give into the darkness.

One of the nurses saw Sam's call bottom blinking before they heard the heart monitor, she ran to his room to see if she could help. Seeing a man with the nurse who was checking up on Sam moment ago, snapping her neck in one quick motion before letting her fall to the ground. She ran out of the room to the desk, looking back to see if the man followed her. Getting on the phone she called for Jackson and security guard to ICU, hoping someone will get her before Sam dies. She even wasn't sure if they would understand what she was saying, she did it in such a panic shaky voice.

"Doctor Jackson, come to ICU Room 4, stat."

"We need security in ICU stat."

She was shaking so hard with fear at what she saw, but knowing the patient needed help. Finding something to use as a weapon she headed for the door, holding a pair of scissors in her hand she headed for the door. Just as she got there a man came charging threw the doors, pushing her out of the way as he rushed into the room. Hearing him calling someone's name she waited for the doctor and security to get there, there was a fight going on in the room then she heard a had thump. That is when Jackson and Matt come running through the doors, straight into Sam's rooms without a second thought.

~~~SPN~~~

Dean came charging into Sam's room seeing Benny leaning over his brother, hatred ragged through his body at the sight before him. He never once slowed down when he plowed into Benny, knocking him and the vampire to the ground. Being fueled with angered he swung a fist to Benny's face, hitting him hard as his head snap to the left. Getting off of the man he back away to look at his brother, what he saw put fear into Dean. Sam's eyes were closed his chest wasn't moving up and down, his monitor was flat lining right before his eyes. He moved to his brother only to be pushed back by his so-called friend, keeping Dean away from the man on the bed dying. Which angered him added more fuel to his already ragging fire; he was seeing red when he went to make a move. Before he could get a foot off the floor, he was being rammed into the wall taking air out of his lungs. Falling to the floor in a heap with stars in his eyes, he almost black out by the impact of the hit he took. Only thing that stop him from doing so, was the burning rage of hatred to the vampire.

As he tried to pick himself off the floor he saw Benny leaning over Sam, fear went through his heart knowing what he was doing. With his body already weak from the infection and fever, he struggled to get back on his feet to finish the fight. Feeling hand lifted him up from the floor his fight instincts kick in; he was about to attack when he saw it was Matt helping him up. As he turned towards Sam's bed he saw Jackson being thrown across the room, glancing back to his brother who still wasn't breathing. He had to get his friend to save his brother life like now, stepping away from Matt his legs went weak. What stop him face planting was Matt grabbing him before he fell, he felt like a day old colt trying to stand up. He had to get to Sammy with Matt to help his little brother, he tugged him to the bed only to be stop. Glaring at the doctor for stopping him he tried again, only to be block by Benny, which angered the older brother even more. He was getting tried of this crap with the vampire and doctors; he had to get Matt to go see Sam to save his brother's life.

Jackson just finished his afternoon rounds when he heard the call, at first he didn't quite make out what was said. The nurse sounded panic and the words were babbled together, when he heard the security being called he knew. As he ran pass the station he threw the clipboard over the counter, not carrying here it ended or who it hit. There was only one thing he knew Sam was in trouble, he had to get there as fast as he could. Rushing around the corner he saw Matt coming out of one of the rooms, yelling for him to follow he would need back up.

Matt just finished up talking with a man about his surgery for the next day, the patient wasn't a fellow doctor asked Matt to discuss the procedure. Since he was doing the surgery on the man, his doctor wanted Matt to go over it with his patient. The fourth floor is normally not the floor he works on, well except for one Dean Winchester he's helping out Jackson. As he open the door he heard the page for Jackson and security, knowing whose room it was angered filled him. As he stepped out the door he saw Jackson running towards him, hearing his friend asking him to follow he did.

Both men didn't slow down until they ran into Sam's room; Jackson went straight to Sam, while Matt went to Dean. As Matt help Dean up he saw Jackson, being thrown to the other side of the room, landing hard with a loud thud as he hit the floor. Feeling Dean tugging on him Matt grabbed him before he fell to the floor, taking all his weight almost brought them both down. He had to get Dean situated so he can go look at Sam; with Dean fighting him he was loosing his patience. Hearing movement to his left he saw that Jackson moving, he was slowly getting off the floor bracing him against the wall. Knowing that his friend was okay he focus on Sam, seeing the man leaning over Sam doing something to him. Hearing a sucking noise he looked in horror, as the man started to drink his blood. Feeling Dean tug hard against him he took his eyes off the bed, seeing the anger burning in his eyes before Dean yelled at him.

"Matt, go help Sammy now, I can take care of this asshole."

"Dean you can't stand on your own-what are you doing-Dean stop it, I said stop Dean-fine stand right there let me go see Sam."

"You won't get near my prize doctor, he's all mine that I'm taking."

Benny said in a southern drawl that was cold as ice.

"I don't know who you are but I'm taking care of Sam, he is no-one prize so get the hell out of here."

"Why don't you try to get me out of here, I already took care of one of you. You won't be a match for me, will do the same to you as I did to her."

The vampire pointed to the nurse on the floor next to Jackson, he could tell she had already passed. Stepping up to the bed to get to Sam Matt was blocked, by the man who was sucking on Sam's blood. Seeing how he threw Jackson across the room, he had to be carefully on how he approaches him. Knowing he didn't have a lot of time with Sam not breathing, he went to go on the other side of the bed. Only to be grab by the arm from the man who's being possessive, of the patient he's trying to save. As soon as the hand touched his arm he was almost pulled down, by the force of the man strength. What stops him from hitting the floor was Dean attacking him, worried for his own patient he did as Dean asked. He headed for Sam to check him over for any life, seeing the blood and bite marks made him shivered. Checking Sam for a pulse he felt a weak sluggish beat beneath his finger, feeling relief that Sam is still alive just in shock.

As he kept a close eye on Sam he heard fighting going on, he could hear Dean threaten the man for hurting Sam. He could have thought Dean called him a blood-sucking Vampire, wondering why he would be saying such a thing. Yes he did bite Sam in the neck and drinking it, but there no such thing as a real Vampire, right! Blocking that from his mind he had to keep Sam breathing, reaching over he turned up the oxygen tank up. He had to get some more air to breath into his lungs, if he didn't they would lose him for sure. As he turned the numbers up on the dial of the tank, he felt a hand grabbing his away from Sam. Turning around he was going to attack the person to keep Sam save, as his fist swung towards the threat it was stop by Jackson. Signing that it was his friend and not the mad man he relax, until he heard a loud crash behind Jackson. Glancing over he saw Dean lying on the floor in a whole lot of pain, with the table and supplies scatter all over the floor.

Dean watch as Matt walked on the other side of the bed to Sam, seeing Benny stopping him piss him off. Fuel with angered towards Benny and big brother protectiveness towards Sam, is all he needed to fight with the Vampire. Pushing himself off the wall he rammed his former friend into the wall, seeing him dazed he hit him hard in the face and stomach. Seeing him going down he kick him in his ribs twice, then in the chest and stomach, then to the face. As he went to kick him again he felt his feet go out from underneath him, seeing the man coming towards him he kick him right in his jewels. As he went down Dean kick him smack in the face, taking the man down hard on the floor with a crack. Knowing that will only daze the Vampire for a few seconds, he got back on his feet swaying a little as he got up. Readying himself for another attack he saw Jackson heading over to Sam, seeing Benny going after him he lounge at him. As he did he cuss him out for even touching his brother?

"Benny, you are a blood-sucking Vampire, who's an asshole that needs to be taken down."

"Is that anyway to talk to your brother Dean."

"You are not my brother he's over there fighting for his life, cause of you and I'm gonna make you pay for it."

"You forgot Dean I know all your fighting moves, I can blo-"

Benny was cut short when Dean kicked him hard in the liver, taking him down with a groan.

"Guess you don't know all my moves Benny, didn't see that one coming did you."

Taking a few steps back to ready himself for an attack, he heard a sound that distracted him from the man. He heard a heartbeat coming for his brother; joy filled his soul to hear music to his ears. That was all that needed for the Vampire to strike, with Dean glancing over at Sam is when Benny attack. Shoving Dean hard into the table taking it and him to the ground, scattering all the supplies all over the floor. Seeing his former brother in pain Benny kick him hard on his left side, tearing the stitches apart with blood flowing freely. Smelling the red liquid made his mouth watered he wanted to drink it, hearing the nurse yell security is on the way he knew he had to leave. Glancing over to the two doctors who are with Sam, he told them a lie to make Dean look like he planned this.

"Want to let you two know my brother here told me were Sam was, he asked me to kill his own flesh and blood." Benny said in a cold southern drawl.

Seeing the shock looks on their faces he ran out of the room, looking to his right he saw the security coming through the doors. Grabbing the nurse he shoved her into the three men, then rushing to the stairwell to make his escape.

Matt and Jackson stood stunned at what they heard from the man, looking over at Dean who was still on the floor in pain. Shaking his head Matt went over to check up on the older brother, seeing blood spreading on his shirt he lifted it up. Seeing that his stitches were ripped and the wound wide open, cursing he had to get Dean back to his room to restitch the wound. As he lifted the man off the floor one of the security guards came in to help, with their help Dean got back onto his unsteady feet. Seeing if he needed any more help the guard left to find Benny, leaving Matt holding Dean up, and Jackson getting Sam to breath.

During all of this Castiel stood in the corner when he felt Sam's fear, with his ribs broken the protection sigal is broken. When he came into the room where no-one could see him, what he heard Benny say angered him greatly. Looking over at his friend he knew he needed help, walking over he gave him some of his grace. Seeing that he's breathing better he'll let Jackson take over, he had a older brother to confront.

Watching as his friend go over to Dean, Jackson started to talk to Sam, he needed to get his breathing to calm down. As he talked with him rubbing his hand on his chest calm the man down, signing in relief he kept talking to his friend.

"Sam listen to me, you need to calm down my friend. That's it Sam, take deep breaths like this, you are doing good buddy. Hey don't listen to Dean listen to my voice, keep your eyes on me Sam. "Seeing the panic in Sam's eyes, when he heard Dean's voice made Jackson angry. He had to get Dean out of the room, not caring if he sounded angry or not. "Dean you need to go away you are not helping Sam, he doesn't want you please leave."

Hearing Jackson talking to him like that angered Dean, even being in so much pain he had to see Sammy. One way or another he's going to talk to his brother, pushing Matt off of him he staggered to the bed.

"Jackson, I need to talk to Sammy, you can't stop me he's my brother not yours."

"Dean, you are only adding more stress to Sam being here, please leave the room now."

"Go to hell Jackson, I have to see if Sammy is okay-Sammy please calm down-"

As Dean neared the bed to see Sam what he saw took his breath away, seeing the fear, loneliness, betrayal in his eyes hurt Dean. All those feelings were aimed at him from his little brother, what he heard from Sam crushed him.

"You hate me Dean...don't want me around, wish I was dead-please leave-don't come back, you don't want me. Please go."

Saying those words was hard for Sam having no air in his lungs; he had to get his brother away from him. After he was done he closed his eyes to get his emotions under control, seeing Dean brought back to much pain.

Hearing his brother telling him to leave him alone crushed Dean heart to dust to hear those words. Letting Matt bring him back to his room to fix him up, he did not once fight him for the manhandle. He laid there while the doctor restitch his open wound, giving him painkillers to help relieve the pain. Through all of it Dean did not say one word about anything, he was numb with hurt at the words Sam said to him. Even when Jackson and Castiel came into the room to yell at him, he didn't listen to one word any of them said to him. His spirit and soul was to break along with his heart to care, he lost his Sammy and it's his fault.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Jackson watched as Matt took Dean from the room, before turning his attention back on Sam. Who was still having a hard time breathing, due to the attack from the Vampire and seeing Dean? Seeing the bite mark on his neck piss him off, he knew it was a Vampire who had attacked Sam. He didn't have to be told it was one, since he saw many being with Jefferson on a hunt. Getting his mind back where he needed to be, he shook that memory out of his head Sam needed help. He started to talk to his friend in a calm low voice, knowing from experience it helps to calm down the man. As he talked to his friend he would rub his hand on his chest, seeing him relaxing he kept up with what he was doing.

"Sam, listen to me, hey listen to me friend, they both are gone. Take deep breaths like this, following me Sam, that's it take deep slow breaths. You are doing good kiddo keep it up-hey it's okay Sam she won't hurt you, only going to give you a mild sedative buddy see that's it."

Watching his friend closely he could tell he wanted to talk to him, knowing it wouldn't be a good idea just yet. He needed his friend to keep breathing not talking; when he was calm enough he would let him talk.

"Hey Sam, don't talk buddy just breath, when you calm down then and only then you can talk."

Keeping a close eye on his patient breathing and heart rate, seeing that is going back to a normal rhythm. Sighing deeply he was glad Sam didn't die on his watch, almost loosing him two times he was scared. Sitting on the side of the bed he looked down at his friend, who was looking at him with tears in his eyes. Broke his heart to see those tears of hurt and pain, it made him angry to think why they are there. He was about to leave the room to talk to Dean, is when he felt a hand on his arm. Looking down he saw that Sam wanted to talk to him; not wanting him to he was going to hush him. Sam beat him to the punch.

"W-Why Dean brought Benny here? He hates me that much."

"Sam, I don't know why Dean brought Benny here, not sure if he did or didn't. I'm going to find out how he found you, when I do I promise you this one thing Sam. No-one will hurt you like this ever again, you got my word on that my friend."

"Thanks Jackson, can't see Dean please can't see him, brings back to many-"

Hissing in pain when Jackson clean the bite mark with alcohol, with some antibiotic cream he covered the wound with a bandage. Hearing the hiss from his friend made him flinch just a little, he didn't want his friend in any more pain. Nodding his head in understanding he got off from the bed, he had a big brother to talk to. Opening the door he glance over his shoulder at Sam, seeing the tears running down his cheeks angered him. Stepping out of the room he stroll to Dean's room to have it out with him, once when he step inside his anger went up another notch. He saw the one person/being he didn't want to see, the Angel Castiel arguing with Matt and Dean. He couldn't hold back his anger at the Angel, walking right up to him he needed him gone.

"Castiel, what the fuck are you doing here? You need to leave now."

~~~SPN~~~

Walking into Dean's room Matt practically had to carry the man to the bed, helping him to lay down before he looked at his wound. It surprised him that Dean didn't complain or argue with him, about being manhandle to his room and bed. It did scare him to see how quiet and distance the older brother became, after the fight with the man, and then hearing Sam words broke the man. Grabbing the sheets he presses hard on the open wound, calling for the nurse he asked for the things he needed. Seeing blood seeping through the sheets and his hands, he yells for her to hurry with the things he asked for. Seeing her rushing back in with the items in hand, he asked her to keep pressure on the wound.

He waited until she took over his spot before he let go of the sheet; washing the blood off his hands he dried them. Grabbing the needle and suture he thread the eye with the material, stepping next to the nurse he put some alcohol on a wash cloth. He wanted to get it sterilize before he re-stitch the wound, he expected Dean to flinch or hit him when he did. Getting no response from the man worried him greatly; shaking it off he had to get this done before he bleeds to death. With the nurse's help both of them got the wound close, cleaning the area with again with alcohol putting antibiotic cream on it. Grabbing a bandage he place it over the stitches, during the whole thing the man on the bed never said a word. Asking the nurse to leave Matt watch as she gathered up all the supplies, as she closed the door he turned to the older brother. He had to get him to talk to him on what happen in the room, before he could say anything he heard a noise before him. Turning around he was surprise to see a man in a trench coat, wonder how he got in without coming through the door. Standing guard at Dean's bed he wouldn't let this man near his patient, keeping a close eye on the intruder he heard the door open. Glancing over he saw a very angry Jackson rushing inside of the room, seeing the fire in his eyes he knew there would be a fight.

Before he could get a word out to the man behind him, Jackson growled out his name in a tone Matt never heard from him.

"Castiel, what the fuck are you doing here? You need to leave now."

"Whoa, Jackson you know this man, I don't even know how he got in here. One moment it's me and Dean, the next I heard a sound and he standing there."

Closing the door to give them some privacy Jackson turned cold eyes on the Angel.

"Yeah, Matt I do know this asshole standing there, he tried to take Sam away from my care. After I talk to Dean to come here, told him to leave and not to come back."

"Jackson, I was the one who brought Sam back, he was dying again cause of Dean."

"Castiel, that is wrong I didn't see you in the room, when I work on getting Sam to breath. I kept him breathing by turning up his oxygen, that is what saved Sam from dying not you. Who are you to Dean and Sam?"

"I am Castiel, an Angel who is a friend of Sam, Dean and I were friends we are not longer. I have been keeping an eye out for my friend, I felt his fear and I came to help. Dean's friend Benny almost killed Sam again, why did you tell him where Sam is Dean."

All three men turned to look at Dean, who was glaring at the Angel with murder in his eyes. The look scared Matt he never seen so much hatred in his eyes, not even when he was angry with Jackson he never had that cold stare. Before anyone could talk Dean's voice came out strong, it held a lot of anger in it to the Angel.

"Cas, you try to take Sam I will hunt your ass down, will take the Angel blade shoved it up your ass. Have no right taking Sammy away from me, I might have been angry at him piss even. It don't give you any right taking him from me, Jackson is doing the same thing taking my brother from me. Believe me I will have my say in that before I leave, and to answer you question asshole, here it is."

Taking a deep breath to calm the ragging fire in him, Dean told them man he didn't tell Benny where Sam was.

"For your information you big bag of dicks over there, I never told Benny were Sammy is. I would never send that blood-sucking freak on my brother, no matter what that piece of shit says. Why would I do that when I'm trying to make a mend with him, he's lying when he said that I sent him here. How do we know that you didn't tell him Cas, you've been gone for a while now from here? How do we know that you didn't call him, telling him were Sammy is to kill him."

"I know that Jackson wouldn't do it don't know who he is, Matt don't know jack shit about Vampires. You and Garth are the only ones who could have sent him, were is that bean pole of a man right now. Is he talking to Benny getting more information out of him, trying to find out where Jackson will be taking him."

"You Asstiel, need to stay as far away from my brother as you can get, when I get done taking out my anger on some other assholes, I'm coming for you mark my words."

After Dean's little speech everyone was quiet as a church mouse, hearing the cold warning from the brother silence everyone. Matt and Jackson looked over at the Angel who looked piss, his blue eyes held a cold stare at Dean. The two men didn't know what was going to happen between the two men, only when the trench coat man left is when the release their breath.

Looking at each other then to Dean who still has a fire in his eyes, they both knew how to handle an angry brother. Knowing now wasn't the time to talk with him about what happen, motioning Matt to the door they both made their leave. While the going was good for them, Dean's anger at Castiel was still white-hot.

~~~SPN~~~

Leaving the hospital Cas found another warehouse to take his anger on, feeling his anger burn bright he let it lose on the building. Feeling the heat of his power come from him his blue eyes glowed, white light burst from his whole body hitting the structure hard. Blowing the windows glass outwards into the parking lot, followed by the concert walls that turned to sand when it exploded. With the warehouse already in rubble it didn't have a roof, only the four remanding walls that were barely standing. Looking at the damage he has done with the building, he was glad he picks the one that was away from people. As he walked through the parking lot to the street he turned around, the scene behind him look like a bomb went off. Feeling some of his anger gone he had to go talk to Garth, with a flutter of wings he disappeared from the scene.

Arriving back at the hotel he looked for Garth, finding him coming out of the bathroom. He waited until he sat down before asking him, he had to know if he did indeed call anyone about Sam.

"Garth, I need to asked you a question?"

"Shoot Amigo-what happen to you Cas, you got sand all over your coat and hair?"

"I was at the hospital after I felt Sam's fear, I went to help him not knowing why. When I got there I saw Benny feeding on Sam, one of the doctors was trying to help him Benny wouldn't let him. Dean got into a fight with the Vampire, while the doctor try to save Sam life. I gave him some of my grace to help him calm down, what I heard angered us. Benny said that Dean sent him there to kill Sam, before running from the room to make his escape."

"When I went to Dean's room to comfort him on what Benny said, he threaten my life in front of the two doctors. Jackson wasn't happy to see me in the room or building, he told me to leave not wanting me there. I had to say what I needed to say to Dean in anger, which it upset him is when he threaten my life. The look he had in his eyes was of pure hate Garth, you will have to be careful of Dean when he's release."

"Wait, why would I have to be careful of Dean? I didn't do anything to upset him."

"Dean thinks one of us told Benny were Sam is to attack him, since Benny bitten Sam he got the taste of his blood. I saw the look in his eyes as he started to drink on Sam, he had that look of a person who wants the high off of a drug. He knows about the Demon Blood that Sam has in him, it's that power he wants once when he tasted it. I saw the high he got from the first time he attack Sam, he wanted more this time would have drank Sam dried."

"I don't even know this Benny, why would I call him."

"I know you didn't call Benny Garth there's no reason to, you didn't talk to another hunter about Sam."

Garth could hear the answer in his question; he wanted to know if he talked to anyone.

"I didn't tell no-one about Sam Castiel, I know how the other hunters are about him. Some of them want Sam's blood for what happen, others want him gone for good out of this world. I wouldn't betrayed my friend like that Cas, I like Sam wouldn't do anything to hurt him."

Seeing the truth in the hunter eyes he knew it had to be someone else, but who could it be since he himself took Sam. There was no way Benny could have track them without a sent trail, with him disappearing with Sam to another state, there's no way the Vampire could track them. Now with a different mission he had to find out who did, looking over at Garth he knew he couldn't have him involved.

"Garth, what I am about to say to you, don't be offended my friend. I'm only doing this to keep you safe from harm, I don't want you to get hurt for what I'm about to do. I need you to go into hiding until this is over, if I'm right on who it was would be to dangerous for you."

"Cas I want to help you find the person who told on Sam, I know how to fight the Supernatural."

"I'm not saying you don't know how to fight Garth, if it's the being I'm thinking it's going to be too dangerous. I don't need you in the crossfire getting yourself killed, it's a powerful being that wouldn't think twice killing a human. I want you safe please go hide some place safe, don't tell me where you are going. When it's over I will find you, go now Garth and be safe."

Watching as the young hunter did as he asked of him, he waited until he pack up his car and drove off. There's was one place he knew where to go first, he will find the person/thing who sent Benny on his friend. Even being anger with Dean he knew in his heart he wouldn't do it, there was no way Dean would wish Sam dead no matter what.

~~~SPN~~~

Walking out of Dean's room Jackson could tell that Matt was concern, he hasn't seen Dean that piss off before or an Angel. Knowing what's going through his mind at the moment, he knew that they needed to talk on what happen. Knowing that it's about time for both doctors to leave for the day, he walked to Sam's room to see how he's doing. Glancing inside he saw that his friend was fast asleep from the sedative, with all the things that happen it took a toll on Sam body. Walking out the door he went to get another shot, he wanted Sam to sleep through the night. Hoping that he wouldn't have any night terrors, from the attack with Benny and seeing Dean. Keeping a close eye on the readings he saw that Sam was out, leaning down he whisper in his ear.

"Sam, what happen took a toll on your from the attack and Dean, I gave you some more sedative to sleep through the night. I'm going to pray that you don't have any bad dreams, hopefully it will work that you get a good night sleep."

Writing what he did before he walked out the door, he needed to inform his nurse about Sam. As he walked out of the room to talk with a nurse, he didn't notice the figure in the shadows. Stepping from his hiding place in the corner, watching as the man walked out from the room. His brown eyes filled with love for the man, he was proud of the doctor he became and a good friend. Looking over at Sam he walked up to the bed, leaning down he whisper in Sam's ear.

"I'm going to stay here tonight Sam to keep watch over you, I'll make sure you will not have any bad dreams."

Taking a seat next to the bed the figure kept his word to Sam, he stayed the whole night keeping watch over the young man.

Jackson walked up to the nurses' station to let them know to keep a good eye on Sam, he told them that if anything happens to call him. When they told him that they would he went to go look for Matt, walking back to Dean's door his friend was gone. Frowning he slowly open Dean's door to see if Matt was there, seeing the older brother sound asleep he closed it softly. Looking down the hallway he didn't see any sign of his friend, asking the nurse at the desk where he went to. She told him that he went outside to get some fresh air, saying his thanks he went to go look for his good friend.

Stepping outside he saw Matt sitting on the bench by the building, walking to the bench he sat next to his friend. Turning to him he had to let him know what's going on, clearing his throat he had to let him know.

"Matt why don't we get some dinner, take it back to my place, we need to talk."

"Jackson what just happen in the two rooms just now."

"Matt let's leave go get some dinner and go to my place, what I have to say can't be said here. There are a lot of things you don't know about, some of them I have been through with Jefferson. Do you need to go back inside for anything." Seeing his friend shaking his head no, he stood up motioning his friend to go with him. "Okay, let's go meet at my place, do you want to get dinner or should I."

"You can go get the dinner Jackson I'll meet you at your apartment, right now I can't even think straight on what had happen."

Helping his friend to stand they both walked to their cars, getting in Jackson went to the diner by his place. He order two meals with all the fixing and drinks, he thought about getting beer but change his mind. Driving into his parking space he saw Matt's car in the visitors parking, looking over he saw that he was not in the vehicle. Walking to his apartment he saw his friend sitting on the step, who looked up as he walked to his door. Getting up he took the drinks so the man can open the door; walking into the room he set the food on the table. Closing the door he lock the door behind him, stepping into the room he got silver wear and napkins. Sitting on the other side of the table the two men ate their meal, both lost in their own thoughts of the events that happen. After they finished their meals Jackson throw away the containers, putting the silver wear in the sink to be wash later. Grabbing some more drinks he walked into the living room, sitting next to Matt he handed him the glass. Smiling when his friend looked at him with a glare, knowing that he wanted beer or something harder.

Taking a deep breath he was going to let his friend know, that what happen those things are true. He had to figure out how to start the conversation, before he could get a word out Matt spoke up.

"Jackson, why did Dean call that man a Vampire? Why did he call the other man an Angel?"

"Matt, what I am about to tell you is the truth on what they are, there are vampires and Angels they are real."

"That's all make-believe Jackson, stories that our parents told us to keep us in line. Things that we watch on T.V that's fiction, there's no such things as Vampires they are in movies. As for the Angel I thought that was just stories, to help us kids feel safe when we are scared."

"Matt I thought the same thing to my friend for many years, I have heard of them from my mom, dad and brother. When our parents died it was just Jefferson and I, we never talked about them after the death of them. One day Jeff called me telling me that his best friend died, I felt so bad for him he had to go see the body. He said that what every killed Kelly had to be an animal, there wasn't much left of the body. One of the people who were with Kelly said that it walked on two legs, had a face like a wolf, claws like a bear and howled at the moon. Jeff knew they were drinking that night the man was stone cold drunk, that he just imagine what he saw was a monster not a human."

"A few weeks had past after Kelly's death when another body was found, the person describe the same being/animal/human. This time there were four people who saw the creature, they were not drunk walking home from a party. Jeff had to go check out their claims on what killed their friend; he wanted revenge for Kelly's death. He went to the scene of the crime thinking he might know what he was, there was a man there looking the scene over he wasn't a cop. Jefferson asked him some questions about the death, he got very little information out of the man at the time. Jeff was a stubborn son-of-a-bitch he wouldn't let it go, finally the man told him what he was looking for. At first Jeff thought he might be some crazy or a drunken man, until they hear screams coming from the other side of the street. They both ran not knowing what they were getting into, when the came around the corner they saw the creature. Jeff froze at what he saw in front of him, was the same thing Kelly friends saw. The creature stood on two legs fur covering it's body, head of a wolf, claws like a bear, a body of a tiger. The man shot the creature in the heart, killing it on the spot where the attacks happen. When Jeff finally could move he walked up to the creature, but by the time they got there it was a human laying on the ground."

"Jefferson was sick to his stomach threw up what he had to eat, he said it was horrific scene that night. The man he was with grabbed my brother and took off, saying that they had to leave the scene. When they got to the other side of town Jeff demanding answers, what the man told him Jeff thought he was crazy. He called the creature a skin-walker, a human that turns into a creature, my brother didn't know what to think at the time. He did see the creature with his own two eyes, before the man killed it, then it turned into the human. Jefferson wanted to know more about the skin walker, so he studies about the Indian lore about certain creatures. When he was at a bookstore that covers the lore he wanted, he saw the man there talking with two other Indians. He walked up to him asking for his name, he said his name was Joe Bear Walker who hunts the Supernatural. He taught Jeff all about the creatures that stalk the nights, urban legends that we all thought were make believe."

"When Jefferson told me all of this I thought he fell off the deep end, until we went on a hike in Montana. We were walking through the woods when the creature attack us, Jeff knew what to do he cut the head off. When it fall to the ground it's with eyes open showing its teeth, they were razor sharp teeth not human at all. Before my eyes I saw them go up into the gums, leaving the normal teeth of a human. I couldn't take my eyes off of the head laying just feet from me, Jeff help me up saying that we had to leave now. Saying something about the other clan members won't be far behind, I had a cut on my arm from when I fell. He was worried that they would smell my blood, come after us for killing one of their members."

"When we got to the cabin he looked around before we went in, he lock the door took me to the table. He clean the cut sewed it up then bandage it, I asked him what the hell that was. He told me that it's a Vampire that attacked us, I thought he was crazy to believe in such things. We stayed the night at the cabin he told me everything; I was worried that my brother had finally lost his marbles. In the morning we walked back to the car, he told me to stay out of the shaded areas of the woods. As we walked down the path I did as he said, he was behind me keeping guard making sure I was safe. Next thing I heard was a grunt and someone falling, I turned around to see Jefferson fighting with a lady. They rolled down the slight inclined into the shadows, I ran towards them to help my brother. I saw his machete a few feet from him, picking it up I ran right up to them. I yelled at the lady who turned around, she had those sharp teeth as the man did. Before she got up I swung the blade cutting off her head, I was numb at first thinking I just killed a person. Before I could react Jeff grabbed me pushing me to run, we both ran to the car got in and took off. I was white as a ghost as we drove away from the scene, I told Jeff to pulled over I got sick on what happen. A few days later he sat me down told me the truth, Vampires, Werewolves, Goblins, Ghosts, Spirits, Fairies, Wendigos, Skin Walkers were all true. He showed me the book Joe gave him about the creatures, even Demons are real so are Angels Matt."

Jackson sat there waiting for Matt to say something to him, about what happen back then and now. When he didn't say anything for a few minutes he was worried, maybe he was going to send him to the funny farm. When he turned to face his friend Matt was looking at him, his eyes filled with mix emotions. He can tell that his friend wanted to say something to him; he just couldn't get the words out. Jackson waited until Matt said something grabbing the glasses; he went to the kitchen to get some soda. Walking back into the living room Matt was gone, looking around he got worried that he left. As he walked to his front door he heard movement on the patio, stepping out into the night he saw his friend in the corner. Taking a chair he sat down giving him the glass, glancing over he could see that Matt was having a hard time. He felt bad that he made his friend like this, it was the last thing he wanted to do. Before he could ask him how he's doing, Matt spoke up.

"You are telling me that all of them are true, the things that go bump in the night. The monsters that hid in the closets or under the bed, those are all true along with the ones you said."

"Yes they are true Matt I'm sorry to put this on you, I didn't want you to think that Dean was crazy. Castiel is an Angel I saw his wings when I first met him, even though he turned out to be an asshole. Benny is a Vampire I notice the teeth marks on Sam's neck, I have seen them before with other hunters."

"Wait, you said hunters, do you mean hunters as in hunting animals, that kind of hunting."

"Those are hunters but it's not the kind I'm talking about my friend, Dean and Sam are hunters of the Supernatural. My brother Jefferson was a damn good doctor, on the side he was a hunter like the brothers."

"Does that mean you were a hunter too."

"No Jeff, kept me away from that kind of lifestyle he was in, he didn't want me anywhere around it. He did bring in some hunters that were hurt on the hunts, I wouldn't asked questions on some of the injuries. I met Dean and Sam years ago when the youngest got hurt, it wasn't from a hunt was from a mad man. They knew I wouldn't call in CPS when I saw the state Sam was in, I took care of him for two weeks at the clinic."

"I can't get my mind around all of this Jackson, after what I saw today I would have to believe it. When you didn't want to talk about your past with Jefferson, I thought that maybe he had a record with the FBI. For committing a murder or drugs or connections with the mob-what I have a very good imagination, so sue me for it okay."

"Matt, I don't want to know about your imagination, might get scared just thinking about it-what I can't say what I think now."

Seeing the glare from his friend made him smile, who in turned made them both laugh. Feeling better now that Matt knows some of his past, he hope that he won't think less of him as a friend.

"I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship now that you know the truth."

"Jackson it's going to take a lot more then this to get rid of me, I'm glad you told me some things about your background. It's going to take some time to get my head around this; it's something you can't just tell anyone. "

"No it's not Matt that's why I keep my past to myself, there's some good and some bad and some I don't want to talk about."

Matt knew he was talking about Jefferson and how things were between them, he don't know everything just enough to know it still hurts. When he's ready and if he wants him to know about it, he will wait until then right now it's not his place. Both men sat out on the patio a little longer enjoying the quietness, every so often they heard a car passing by, or people talking. Matt could tell that his friend wish he was back at the clinic, he didn't have to say it in words he just knew he does. Seeing the time he knew he had to get home, saying his goodbyes he left to get a good night sleep. As Jackson got himself ready to hit the bed, he looked over at a picture of him and Jefferson. He felt a pain in his heart for his brother, he wish he could tell Jeff he was sorry for what he said. With tears ready to fall he wipe them away, taking a deep breath he laid down in bed with one thing on his mind. Hoping that Sam won't have any bad dreams tonight on what happen was the last thing that went through his mind.

~~~SPN~~~

Finding a building to hide in Benny laid low until he knew it was safe to leave, he knew people were looking for him after his attack on Sam. He will wait until nightfall before he made his move to leave, there will be other chances to get to Sam once again. Feeling the blood curse through him he love the feeling it gave him, knowing that it's Demon blood that he has inside of him. Dean has told him about Sam's addiction to the blood, when they were at their lowest with each other. He got Dean talking about Sam when he was exhausted, knowing that he would slip up and tell him about it.

When he was free with Dean's help being his vessel out of Purgatory, he made it his mission to get to Sam. He heard about the Winchester Brother's and their close bond, and Sam's addiction he knew before Dean told him. Other creatures that were killed had a grudge against the brothers, would tell anyone that would listen to them. When Dean showed up Benny made his move by getting Dean to trust him, helping him to get out of Purgatory, which took a year. He planned it to be that long since he wanted the older brother's trust, he safe his life many of times showing him he can be trusted. When it came for him to finally get out he used Dean's trust in him, knowing that he would lead him to Sam. He had Demon blood before while he was still hunting up top; it gave him a high and strength that he never left before. Finding out about Sam and his addiction he had to taste his blood, so he waited until the right time before he took a sample. When he bit Sam while Dean was gone the taste was like candy to him, had a sweetness and tartness at the same time he wanted more. That was when Dean came in and threw Sam out; he got anger with the older brother for doing that. So when he got time away from Dean, he would hunt Sam down to get what he wanted.

When those hunters came by with Sam being bruised and bloody, Castiel once again foiled his chance. Taking his prize away from him to who knows where, he looked for any kind of clues to find where the Angel took Sam. He knew following Dean would not be the way to do it, the older brother has a sixth sense when it comes to that. Even with him slowing him down with the bones in his wound, he still didn't dare to follow Dean knowing he would kill first on site. So he went to do it is own way, killing Demons to get the information he wanted. When that didn't work he tried to find Angels to get what he wanted, knowing from Castiel they have a different smell from others.

Now he would have to wait until he can get to Sam again, which angered him greatly that Sam slip through his fingers. Now with two other humans involved it would be difficult for him, not knowing which one Sam would go with. With so many smells in the room he couldn't pin point each one out, he knew Dean and Sam smell not the others. So now he would have to do his search all over again, knowing that his prize will be moved without him knowing.

Being lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the presents of another being, who walked in silently behind from the back of the building. Stepping further into the room he stop a few feet from the vampire, looking at him the being could tell he got to Sam for his blood. Seeing the power going through the creature he knew what was about to happen, being a powerful being he could protect himself against the vampire. Seeing Benny turned lifting his hand in defense of being attack, did nothing more then move the man gently. Laughing at the man before him he shook his head for being stupid, he knew that Benny wasn't strong enough to kill or harm him. Looking him over with his eyes glowing a bright blue, he smiles wickedly at the vampire before he said a word to him.

"I see you got a hold of Sam Winchester, Benny, to bad you didn't get enough of his blood."

"I would have drunk him dry if it wasn't for the two humans, that got in my way, along with Dean."

"You mess up your attack cause you were sloppy Benny, you made a big mistake today and Sam is still alive."

"He won't be the next time I see him again, will take him away from those humans and his brother. Will have him all to myself so I can drink off of him at any time, no one will find us until it's to late. At least I have one of your kind with me to get Sam away, I need you to find out where he's going."

"You are not my boss Benny I tell you what to do, not the other way around you maggot. It's your fault that the plan didn't go well, I told you where he was and what to do. I know these humans and how they are, especially when it comes to protecting Sam Winchester. Now when I do find out something about him I will tell you, until then you need to go hid and keep low until then."

Before Benny could react to the being before him he waved his hand, throwing the vampire across the room. When Benny picked himself off the ground to attack, the being disappeared from the building. Growling in angered he walked to the back out the building, stepping into the night until he can get to Sam again.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Sitting behind her desk Naomi wanted for her informer to return, she sent him out to see what was happening with Castiel and Dean. Since they got him out of Purgatory they had him in Heaven for a few months, going over things he did there and why he ended up being in there. Finding out all the details they wanted him to join their army, knowing how he can become a rogue they put a tracking device on him. During one of their questioning when she had him strapped to the table, she in planted one in his neck right below his left ear. When she got what she wanted from him she let him loose, to do the things she asked of him during one of her brain washing.

He has reported back after each task she had him to do, one of them was to find out what Sam and Dean were doing. She had Cas under her control for the first two months of brain washing him, and then some how the signal went dead on his device. Which made her angry that she lost control of Castiel knowing how powerful he can be, she had high plans for him in her army of angels. For three months now she had her informer and others helping her, trying to find out where the Angel went to, and how he disable his device. When her second hand man found out where Cas was and with whom, she acted fast to get the human away from the Angel. What made her smile wickedly is the fact Dean was working with a Vampire, leaving Sam alone on his own unprotected from his big brother. The thing that sealed the deal for her is that the brother's were not getting along, finding out that Dean wouldn't let Sam be with him. That he worked with Cas or the Vampire leaving his brother in the wind, finding out that Dean and Cas were at odds over the situation. She had a plan that would put a deep wedge between the two friends; if she played her cards right she could get Castiel back under her control.

When her informer came back telling her that Sam and Dean had a big fight, with the older brother walking out of the room. She knew what she had to do to get her plan going, letting the man know what he had to do. Finding the Vampire he told him what they had in plans, for both Castiel and one Sam Winchester. Seeing the glee in the creatures eyes the angel knew he would do as he asked him, he sense that the Vampire wanted Sam most likely for his Demon Blood. Standing in the shadows next to the motel room later that day, he saw Dean and Castiel pulling into the parking space. As soon as they got inside he heard Dean telling Sam to leave, seeing the younger brother fleeing the room he knew his plan worked. He waited for the Vampire to come out to follow Sam to kill him, when he didn't show the Angel left to see where Sam had gone. As he came around the corner he saw a man putting Sam into a car, before he could even get there the car and Sam were gone.

That angered the Angel to no end that someone would take Sam, not knowing that one, it was another Vampire and two he was with Benny's old clan. Through the next few days he wanted to see what would happen, seeing that Dean and Benny went on hunts for the creatures killing people. Castiel went to look for Sam, which in turned piss Dean off, the wedge his boss wanted was beginning to happen. For the month that Sam was gone Dean never went looking for his brother, he was out with Benny hunting the Vampires. That kept in hiding do to Benny informing them about Dean looking for them, then he would lead the older brother in a whole different direction from the nest. During the month of Sam's disappearance, he saw that Castiel brought in another hunter to help in his search. Which in turned put more of a wedge between Cas and Dean then before, their friendship was breaking little by little. When Sam finally showed back up bleeding, bruise and broken Cas kept Dean away from his brother, which in turned made Dean more furious with the Angel. What took the cake was when Cas took Sam, not telling Dean where he and the other hunter went with Sam.

When the informer went back to tell Naomi on what happen, she asked her right hand man to track Castiel. She knew that Mandriel and Castiel were in the same brotherhood; they both had a close bond with each other. They both could sense when one was hurt or sad the bond was deep, it was an unbreakable bond they shared with each other. They didn't have to tell each other where the other one was at, they felt each other presences and followed where they were. Even now with their bond broken from Castiel betrayal, he could still feel his presence even though it's weak. He followed it to Montana at a hospital that he took Sam; coming back he told Naomi where Cas has gone. Letting her informer know he went to Benny, telling him to go and do the work that needs to be done.

After talking to Benny he went back to Naomi to let her know, that she has done what she wanted to happen. Castiel and Dean's bond is finally broken for good, and that Dean wants Cas dead for what he did. Looking pleas she motion for him to leave her room, turning to her right-hand man she told him the plans.

"Mandriel, I want you to go find Castiel, tell him we will take him back-under one condition." Seeing that he wanted to say something she stopped him, before she said what she had to. "That we want him back if he turns his back on the humans, we need him here in Heaven to help us fight Metatron."

"What happens if he declines your offer, what do you want me to do?"

"Let Castiel know that if he declines my offer, that you will kill him Mandriel."

"Ma'am I don't know if I can do that, yes we don't talk to each other anymore not friends either. I don't know if I can kill him, he is still a brother no matter how you look at it."

"If you can't do it Mandriel we do know of someone else who can, go and talk to Castiel give him a warning. If he don't come to our side on this war we are having, I want you to go and find him to kill Castiel for you."

"Tell him that we have shackles that will bind Castiel powers, along with a pentagram that will hold Cas in place. One way or another we will get Castiel back to us, dead or alive you hear me Mandriel."

"Yes ma'am I hear you, I'll go now and talk with my brother. If he don't come with me I will get a hold of him, let him know how he can get his revenge on Cas."

~~~SPN~~~

Three days has pass since Benny came to attack Sam at the hospital, Jackson has moved Sam out of the ICU into a regular room. He was thinking of moving Sam one floor down from Dean, he thought better of it knowing how the older brother can be. He wanted to be close to Dean so he can keep an eye on him; even with their friendship shaking he still cares for him deeply.

After finishing his rounds looking at his watch he saw it was lunchtime, heading to Sam's room he wanted to see if he wanted something to eat. Walking into the room his heart dropped seeing the tears in his eyes, since the attack from Benny Sam seems to be more depressed. He's getting to worry about his friend's state of mind; he needs to get Sam to talk to him about what has happen. Stepping up to the bed he tried to ignore the tears, clearing his throat he waited until Sam looked up at him. Once when he had his friend's attention, he asked what he wanted to eat.

"Sam, I'm going to the cafeteria for some lunch, what would you like me to get for you. Thought you would like to have some real food, not that stuff that resembles food they've been giving you."

Jackson patiently waited for Sam to answer him before he moved, knowing what he was going to say before he said it.

Sam stared at the white wall of his room for a long time; he couldn't get what Benny said out of his mind. Did Dean really hated him that much he would send the Vampire on him, then act like he was concern for him when he's not. Seeing Benny kill the nurse cause of him, then attacking Jackson, drinking his blood, then saying that Dean sent him broke Sam more. His vision blurring with unshed tears before they rolled down his cheeks, feeling an ache in his heart of lose and sadness he couldn't stop the tears. Once when the fell he couldn't stop the sobs that came with them, he laid there a cried for all the hurt he was in. He wasn't sure how long he's been crying his heart out; he knew that he needed to get it out of him. When he finally got himself to stop crying he took deeps breaths to calm him down, which is when he heard movement to his right he didn't have to look to see who it was. He knew that Jackson was worried about him since the attack, knowing that the depression was worse now then before. He's been trying to get out of the funk he's been in, with Benny it has made it worse for him then before. In a small selfish way he wished that Benny had killed him in the room, this way he would be out of Dean's life like he wants it. In another way he would feel bad for Jackson who's been fighting to safe him, so he's between a rock and a hard place with all of this.

Feeling more then seeing he knew Jackson was waiting for him to look over, he didn't want his friend to see him this way. He knew it was over when Jackson cleared his throat to get his attention, taking a deep breath he turned to his friend who was waiting for him. Hearing him asking about lunch he really wanted to say no, knowing if he did his friend would still talk him into eating. Clearing his throat and taking a deep breath, he told him what he wanted to eat.

"I'm not really hungry Jackson, but I know you won't take that as an answer. If they have a turkey sandwich I'll take one, maybe a salad with that too if that's okay with you."

Took the doctor by surprise on what his patient told him on what he wanted, he could see that he wasn't in the mood for food. Shaking his head in approval he let Sam know that was fine for him, he will get him his sandwich and a salad.

"That's will be fine Sam I'll get your turkey sandwich and a salad, I will be right back don't go anywhere young man."

Jackson said with a smirk and wink at Sam, he wanted to cheer up his friend a little.

"Okay, I'll try not to run out of here, or, grabbed a wheel chair and race with the nurses."

Sam said with a smirk back at Jackson who laughed when he left the room, he knew Sam was trying to cheer up. So he will take what little come back he can get.

Stepping out of Sam's room he saw Matt coming from Dean's room, waiting for his friend who was heading in the same direction. Entering the elevator they both headed to the cafeteria for lunch, once inside Jackson had to know how Dean is doing. Since the attack and the run in with Castiel in the room, he hasn't asked on how the older brother was handling things.

"How is Dean doing Matt?"

"Since the whole thing with that Benny guy and the Angel, Dean hasn't been himself since then. He just lays there looking into space, I can tell he's really hurting over Sam's words."

"I could see how devastated Dean was on what Sam said to him, I feel bad for him I really do. In a way Dean did bring it on himself this time, the way he hurt Sam was so uncalled for in my opinion."

"Jackson are you talking about Dean and Sam, or you and Jefferson-don't get upset with me my friend. I'm just asking who you really are mad at Jackson, I'm not trying to step on anyone toes here."

Seeing the glare in his friend's eyes Matt had to get him to talk.

"I'm not mad, Matt, sorry for the glare look I sent you, I guess it's a little of both to answer your question."

"Good, 'cause I don't think that Dean sent that Benny guy on Sam, they way he's been acting-you know what we should talk about this later. Why don't we go to your place for dinner tonight so we can talk, I can't see Dean doing something like this to Sam."

"Sounds good Matt I really like to know your opinion on this, Sam really think its Dean who sent Benny. I would talk to Dean about it don't think that would be good, I know you can't tell me everything on what you two talk about."

"Like I said let's talk about it at your place, there's some things I have to say to you. I'm leaving it at that right now Jackson, it's nothing bad and no I'm not going to stop being friends with you."

Before Jackson could answer the door open to the first floor, both left, heading to the cafeteria for lunch. Jackson got what he and Sam wanted to eat, while Matt got what he and Dean wanted to eat. Jackson looked at Dean's plate and shook his head in disbelief, with what little food that was there he couldn't believe it was for Dean.

Returning back to the room with two plates of food, Jackson pulled the table to the bed. Placing Sam's plates on it he moved it close to him, sitting on the chair by the bed he got comfortable. Placing some drinks on the table they both ate, Jackson kept a close eye on Sam eating his food. He wanted his friend to eat everything he brought, knowing how he can be when he's not hungry. Through their meal Jackson didn't say a word, he taken the advice of Jacob who told him just to sit and be there. After they both ate their meals Jackson was happy Sam ate all of his, taking their plates he told Sam he'll see him later.

"I got some more rounds to do Sam before I go home, I'll stop by in later to see how you are doing."

"You don't have to Jackson I'll be fine, what do you expect me to do?"

"When it comes to you Sam it can be just about anything my friend."

Seeing the smile did his heart good as he walked out of the room, he had some patients to see before he heads out.

~~~SPN~~~

Matt has been talking with Dean about the attack on Sam; he could tell that the older brother had nothing to do with it. He needed to get Dean to open up to him on how he's doing, knowing how much the words had hurt him on what Sam said. The first day Dean just stared into space never noticing him being there, the second day he got glares coming from the man when he asked. To him that was the first move in the right direction, seeing the old Dean coming back out that he missed. On the third day he finally got him to talked to him, knowing that he had to be careful on how he said anything.

"Dean, I'm going to asked you one more time-don't give me that look young man, I never said you told Benny where Sam is. I wanted to know how would that man know where's Sam, who would tell him that your brother is here."

"Who would tell him that Sammy is here? Who do you think told that blood-sucking freak that Sam is here? It had to be Castiel or one of his feathered ass Angel's brothers he has around, when I find out who did they are going to be dead Angels."

"I would never tell Benny where Sammy is no matter how anger I am, my brother means more to me then that blood sucking freak. Do you think that I will fight that hard to protect Sammy from him, if I was the one who called him over here? If I did do you think that I would have stopped him from drinking Sam, or that I got hurt in a bad way during the fight with Benny. You got to believe me Matt when I said, that I did not tell Benny where Sammy is I could never to that to my brother."

"Dean, I'm not saying that you told that Benny guy where Sam is, I'm asking if you knew know who would tell him. I don't know that Castiel person or thing or what ever you call him, enough to know how he is with Sam. Only that my friend Jackson got piss off with him being here, so he has to do with something about the attack on Sam."

"Oh believe me he does have something to do with the attack on Sammy for sure, when I do find out Cas better be back in heaven were he belongs. Cause if he's not his feathery ass will be mine big time for what he did, what I told him in front of you and Jackson will happen to him."

"Okay Dean don't want to hear anymore about this Cas person, or what you have in store for him once you are out of here. The less I know the better is for me not to be involved with it, I'm going to get some lunch from the cafeteria. If there anything you want me to bring for you, I know it's goes against hospital rules but it's better then that."

He pointed at Dean's breakfast that hasn't been touch, knowing by now the older brother had to be hungry.

"If they have a cheeseburger with extra onions and fries, I'll take that-what you asked what I wanted."

Dean smirk at Matt's face when he asked for a cheeseburger, he did asked him after all.

"Dean we don't have cheeseburger or fries, I'll get you a sandwich with chips instead. You stay right there and I'll be right back."

Walking out the door he saw Jackson coming from Sam's room, after talking to his friend, getting Dean's lunch, Matt was back in the room with the older brother. He sat with him to make sure he ate his whole meal, then he left to make rounds before meeting up with Jackson.

~~~SPN~~~

The rest of their day went smoothly for both Doctors on their afternoon rounds, when it came time for Jackson to head home he checks up on Sam. The nurse was giving him his dinner when he walked into the room, waiting for her to leave he stepped up to the bed. Looking at the food on the plate he wrinkle his nose, seeing something that looks like Mash Potato and Meatloaf. Sitting on the chair next to the bed Jackson sat as Sam ate his food, seeing him pushing the table away he stood to look at the plate. Seeing that he ate half of what was served to him he didn't pushed it, giving him juice to drink he threw the plate away. Stepping out of the room he came back with Sam's medicine for the night, giving him his pain pill and antibiotic he waited until he took them. Taking the cup from the young man he threw it in the trash, saying his good night he left the room to head home. Stopping off at the nurses' station on his way out, he asked the evening nurse to keep a close eye on Sam. Giving her a syringe with medicine in it, telling her to give it too Sam when he's a sleep. It will help him sleep through the night, which he needs his rest for the days to come.

Matt stopped off at Dean's room to check up on his patient, seeing him just finishing his dinner and drink. Stepping into the room he gave the older brother his pain pill and antibiotic, knowing how Dean is with sleeping pills he put it in his drink. When everything was done Matt took the plate and cup to the trash, looking over at Dean he could see the loss in his eyes over Sam. He felt bad for the young man in front of him, since he was the only child he didn't know how to help Dean. Saying his goodnight he walked out of the room, walked up to the nurses station asking them to keep a close eye on his patient. Seeing Jackson coming from Sam's room he waited for his friend, together they both left the building to head to Jackson place.

Matt stopped off at the diner for their meal before heading to Jackson apartment; he had a lot to tell his friend about Dean. He could tell him what they talked about since it had to do with Sam, with what happen to him in the room with Benny. He knew Jackson blames Dean for the attack on Sam with Benny, he could see it in his eyes when they talked in the elevator. To be truthful he did blame Dean too when he heard Benny, then talking with the older brother he knows now he could never do that. Pulling into the visitor parking spot he saw that Jackson car in it's usual place, walking to his door he knock to be let in. Hearing him say it's open he let himself in closing and locking the door, walking to the dinning room he place the trays on the table. Jackson came from his bedroom drying his hands; going to the kitchen he got silver wear, glasses and napkins. Sitting at the table they both are in silence enjoying their meal, when they were done Matt through the trays in the trash. Getting some more soda, even if there were beers in the fridge, this was a talk they needed to be clear mind. Sitting back down across from his friend he handed him his drink, taking a deep breath he had to tell Jackson what he and Dean talked about.

"Jackson, I know you blame Dean for the attack on Sam, I can see the fire in your eyes my friend. I have talked to Dean for the last two days about this, he told me that he didn't let this Benny guy know where Sam is. I believe him Jackson when he says he never told Benny Sam's location, he's anger as hell at him and this Castiel person/being. He's really scared that he lost Sam as a brother my friend, he don't have to say it I can see the fear-"

Matt didn't finish before Jackson cut him off, with a hint of anger in his voice.

"How can you say that Matt you heard what the Vampire said about Dean, how else would that creature know where Sam is. I know that Dean is anger with Sam with a lot of things that happen between them, have been at the angry side of the older brother with his words and actions. You didn't see Sam when he heard Dean's voice; pure fear was in his eyes as he looked at me Matt. That kind of fear is so set deep into Sam mind that Dean hates him, he tried to claw at me to get away from his own brother. So how can you say that Dean has fear over loosing Sam, please tell me Matt."

"Jackson, before I do there's two things I want you to do my friend, one is you need too loose that anger you have right now, two you need to get your mind onto Dean and Sam not Jefferson and Jackson. When you do I will tell you on what Dean and I talked about, and why I believe him that he didn't send Benny."

Matt stood his ground to his friends angry and glares, he needs him to be in the here and now, not in the past. Seeing the fire go out in his eyes he knew Jackson was ready to hear what he has to say.

"Good, now when I start to tell you on what Dean and I talked about, I want you to sit there and listen to me. I don't want any lip coming from you young man-what is so funny Jackson."

Matt stopped when Jackson starting to laugh at him, looking at him with confusion in his eyes.

"Sorry Matt, you sounded so much like Jefferson just now, I pictured his face when he's angry at me."

"I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories for you Jackson, I just need you here right now listening to me."

"It's alright Matt you didn't bring up any bad memories they were all good ones, do you want a beer I think I need something stronger then soda."

"No, we are staying with soda until I say what I need to, you need to be clear minded to hear on what I have to say. So if you are ready to hear mine and Dean's talk let me know, the anger needs to be gone too Jackson all of it."

Matt waited until he knew for sure the anger was gone from his friends posture, when he relax in his chair he knew it was time to talk.

"Okay here we go Jackson, I'm going to tell you on what Dean and I talked about. Why I believe him when he says he never told Benny? To start this off when we were in the ICU after Benny killed the nurse, threw you across the room to attack Sam who couldn't defend himself. I was trying to get Dean not to face plant on the floor; he kept pushing me away from him so I can help Sam. Finally I did as he asked of me to go check up on Sam, Benny got in my way he was blocking me to make a move. When I saw Dean attack him I rushed to Sam bed to help him breath again, I notice that he was in shock from the stress he was under. When I worked on him I heard a loud thud just a few feet away, when I looked up Dean had Benny on the floor he was kicking him. When I turned to see where you were I heard another loud thud, this time Dean was on the floor in a whole lot of pain."

"When I glance back over at you young man you were still out for the count, I turned my attention to Sam making sure he was still breathing. The whole time I kept a close eye on Dean and Benny to see if the older brother needed help, he was holding his own in the fight with the Vampire. I heard a moan coming from the bed, as I looked to check on Sam is when I felt a hand on my arm. Thinking it was Benny I was going to protect Sam, that was when I notice it was you and almost took you out."

"As we both looked Sam over I glance over your shoulder at Dean, who kept himself between Sam and Benny. No matter how many times he was thrown into the wall or floor, he got back up placing himself in front of Sam. He wasn't going to let the Vampire come anywhere near his brother Jackson, he held his own until Benny shoved him into the table. Once when Dean was down I saw that man kick Dean in his left side, the hit tore his stitches opening the wound again. After that Dean didn't have any strength left to fight, the fear I saw in his eyes broke my heart for him. When I went to his side to help him up, that's when the security came in to help me get Dean off the floor. He was hurting bad from the beating he took, when I got him to his room he never fought me not once."

"Took me two days to get Dean to talk to me about what happen, he told me that he would never tell Benny were Sam is. He's trying to fix the damage he has done to his brother, he wants to repair the broken bond that between them. When I asked him who he thinks told the Vampire Sam where about, he thinks it's that Castiel or one of his Angel friends that snitch. I asked him why would they do that if they are suppose to help us, he said and I'm not lying that they are a big bag of fuckin' dicks that's why."

"I got to see a part of Dean that probably only Sam gets to see, the gentler side of him when he talked to me. He said that no matter how piss off he is at his brother, he could never send a freak on him no matter what. He beg me to believe him I saw the anguish in his eyes Jackson; he is hurting not from the beating he took to defend Sam. He's hurting from the loss of a brother by how own hands, seeing the tears prick up in his eyes my heart went out to him. He's not lying Jackson when he says he didn't tell, he's angry too but it's mostly at Castiel, Benny and those who dare to hurt his brother."

Matt waited to see what his friend will say to him, as he talked he saw the anger in Jackson leave him. Now he's waiting to see what his friend has to say to him.

As Jackson sat listening to Matt talked about what happen in the room, since he was knock out by the throw. To hear how Dean fought to save Sam's life from the Vampire, even being in so much pain he fought to keep his brother safe. To hear that Dean open up to his friend which is very unusually for him, to have Matt heart go out to him he knew the older brother was not lying. Taking a deep breath to rein in his emotions, he had to let his friend know he believes in what he is saying.

"Matt, thank you for letting me know on what had happen in the room, and with Dean talking so openly to you on Sam. I'm sorry for my anger that you got over this, you are right a lot has to do with Jefferson. I wanted to believe that Dean wouldn't betray Sam like that, I'm glad that he didn't for Sam's sake. I still have to talk to Dean letting him know some things I have planned, he won't like it but I have to do what's best for Sam."

"Knowing the truth I feel so much better on where Dean is standing, I don't want to be Benny, Castiel or those hunters who hurt Sam. When Dean is a piss off big brother they better hide, his temper don't hold any boundaries what so ever. He's going to be like an angry Tigress protecting her cubs from danger; he's going to strike without making a noise he'll hit hard. Yes I am talking from experience here Matt, I was hit by Dean once never happen again."

Getting up Jackson went to the fridge to get the six pack of beer, motioning Matt to the patio they both step outside. Sitting they both open one can of beer taking a seep of the cool liquid, looking out into the night Matt wondered what Jackson meant. When he said that Dean would strike like an angry Tigress, shaking his head he didn't want to even think about it. Looking over at his friend who was lost in his own thoughts, he could see that longing of being back at the clinic and mountains. He had this feeling once when Jackson goes; he won't be coming back to the hospital to work. Yes he will miss his friend like hell when he goes, at the same time he will be happy for him to get back to his roots. Never know he could always go over there to visit him when he can, to see what he loves it so much being there.

Jackson sat there next to his friend drinking his beer thinking on what he'll tell Dean, he has always wanted to go back to the clinic some day. Never brought he to do it to go back to the memories of him and Jefferson, those were the good days of the two of them being so close. Enjoying each other company doing things as brothers and friends, going hiking, camping at the park for weeks on end. Taking a deep breath he felt Matt's eyes on him he knew what his friend was thinking, wondering if he was going to come back to the hospital. Since he's been there he has never said anything about Jefferson, he didn't really know how Matt would take the truth on his death. Now that he knows about the Supernatural, and is kind of accepting it's real, now it would be a good time to talk. He wasn't sure if he could talked about it just yet, for him it's still to fresh and raw even if it's been ten years now. One day he will open up to Matt on his own feeling concerning Jefferson, he needs to get past the hurt and lost he's feeling. Maybe talking with Sam will help him heal the wounds he still has, it could be the best medicine they both need.

The two friends sat outside on the patio for about a good hour just being quiet, two good friends sitting next to each other for some down time. Finishing their last beer Jackson got up to take a shower and head to bed, he wasn't going to let Matt drive home tonight with drinking three beers. After he took his shower he walked into the living room, seeing Matt cleaning up the kitchen from their meals. He walked over to shut the patio door locking it, turning to his friend he told him what the plan was.

"Matt, you can spend the night here don't want you driving home, there's a set of clothing I place in the bathroom. You can sleep in the spare bedroom don't want you drinking and driving, go take your shower you stink."

He laugh at the face his friend gave him when he went into the bathroom, getting himself ready for bed he got the other room ready. As he walked out Matt walk in fully dress ready for bed, saying their good nights they both went to bed. Jackson feeling better that Matt is here safe and sound, and Matt thankful for having a good friend who cares.

~~~SPN~~~

Walking through the woods to think on who would tell Benny about Sam, Castiel came upon a clearing part of the wooden area. Standing in the middle he looked up to the sky seeing all the stars, shining brightly in the darkness with a full moon bathing the area. Taking a deep breath he inhaled the smell of the area around him, he hardly take the time to enjoy the beauty or smells of the creation around him. Opening his eyes he felt a present around him taking a defense posture he waited, who ever it was he didn't want them to know he notice them. As the presence came closer he knew who it was from his past, they were once friends before the war in heaven and the Apocalypse. Waiting to see what would happen he stood still, feeling more then seeing the person next to him before he spoke.

"Hello Mandriel."

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

After his talk with Naomi, Madriel went to look for Castiel to have a talk with his brother; he has been searching for him for two days. Finally he sense his presence at a warehouse in Wyoming on the outskirts of a small town, that borders the forest on one side and the mountains on the other. Stepping up to the building he wonder why he was here in the first place, the building in front of him was run down about ready to collapse on itself. The structure in front of him is made from bricks and wood, some of the outer part has fallen apart and now lies in a pile of debris. Other parts have mold and mildew to the bricks that were still intact, some of the windows were broken with glass laying all over the ground. At one point it was a two-story building that has caved in on it's self, leaving half of a roof on one side that is barely holding together. Hearing the creaks and groans from the wood as the structure shifted, he was having second thoughts of going inside to look around. Knowing that it could go down on him while he was inside, he could sneeze and it will bring the whole thing down on him. Knowing that he had to go looked around to see why Castiel would be in there, taking a deep breath he walked through the door way carefully.

Once inside he took a gander at the open room before him making sure it was safe, as he surveys the room he saw piles of rubble of brick, wood, glass and wire spread all over. Parts of the floor that he could see between the piles, was full of grease, mold, water and oil making it hard to wake over. Taking each step carefully he made it further into the heart of the building, stopping once when he reach the center he looked around the area. To his left was nothing but piles of debris like at the door, to his right was a doorway leading to the unsafe area of the structure. Glancing up he was looking into the dusk skies above him; the sun was going down so he need to go check the other part. Taking each step carefully he made his way to the open door, glancing inside he saw a chair in the middle of the room. Glancing behind him he wanted to make sure no one was around, before he stepped inside to have a looked around. As he walked into the room he notice a person tied to the chair with head bow, he couldn't be sure if it was a male or female due to the shadows. Stepping up to the side of the chair he glances around one more time, he didn't need anyone or thing sneaking up behind him before he check the person. Standing in the front he looked down at the corpse seeing that it was a male, kneeling down to have a better look at the damage that was done to him. Seeing a stab wound right in the middle of his chest, he knew it was an Angel blade that done the damage to the man's body. Lifting the head carefully he looked to see what kind of damage that was done, seeing the eyes burned out of their sockets, a palm print burned into the forehead. He knew it was an Angel that did the damage to the vessel, he sniff the air to see if he could smell the hint of sulfur there was none. Taking his hand he place it on the chest of the man, to see if he could feel the aura of what being he was. Lowering his head when he realizes it was another Angel that was killed. How could Castiel kill another brother like this when there are little left of them?

Giving his brother a silent pray he check him over to see the damage, he couldn't believe that Castiel would torture another brother like he did. Burning his eyes out, cutting him with the Angel blade, burning him with holy oil, he cross the line in his eyes on what he has done. To top it all off he stabbed him with the Angel blade, going straight through his heart and back of the chair. Standing up he glance down at his fallen brother who was tortured, when he recognize the necklace he was wearing with the cross. He knew this was Naomi informer who had helped with the Vampire attacking Sam, and information on Castiel, Dean and Sam on what was happening. His anger burned bright at his brother for what he did, this Angel was a lower ranking then he and Castiel who wanted to be in their spot of the brotherhood. He didn't deserve to die like this at the hands of another Angel especially Castiel, when he finds him and he will there will be a fight between them. He won't kill his brother that is one thing he won't be able to, he can make him hurt for what he did to a brother who looked up to him. Stepping away from the body he headed to the back door to leave the area, before he stepped out he glance behind him looking at the fallen Angel. Whispering to him he let him know his death wouldn't be in vein, 'I promise you brother your death won't go unpunished, will get redemption for what happen to you.' Walking out he follow Cas' aura into the woods to an open wooden area, he knew by the way he was standing that he wasn't alone. Stepping next to his former brother/friend he waited before he said anything, looking around he wonder why he would be here standing in the dark.

He was about to say something to the other man next to him, when he spoke first with a question in his words.

"Hello Mandriel."

"Hello Castiel."

"What are you doing here, why are you not with your boss?"

"I have come to ask you as a brother to help us fight Metatron, we need you on our side Castiel."

"You don't need me on your side in the war for heaven, Naomi wants me under her control to do her spying. I won't let her tell me what I can and can not do Mandriel, she has no control over me anymore can't handle that can she."

"Castiel, she only did it for your own good since we all know how you are, specially when it comes to the Winchester Brothers. You are weak when you are around them by their emotion for you, don't need them you have us your real family Cas don't need the humans."

"I have to say this brother you have become a rogue an dangerous one at that, we need you under our control to keep you on the right path. Being here around the humans specially the brothers have made you weak, you are to involved with their lives on what's going on between those two."

"I am Sam Winchester's friend, Mandriel, something you will never know about, you are not capable of understanding that kind of friendship. As for Dean we are no longer friends I have no use for him, Sam is the one I will protect from Angels like you and Naomi."

"When I find out and I will find out if she is the one who was behind the attack on Sam, I will go after her by taking each and ever one of her spies. I'm not her puppet like you brother she don't pull my strings, not anymore she doesn't since I found her tracking device on me."

"I am not her puppet, Castiel, like you say that I am, we can win this war with her being in charge. If you have a clear mind you will see that I am right, she knows a lot about Metatron that we can used against him. With your help we can defeat him in one attack and no other Angels don't have to die, I need you by my side Castiel like we used to be. Two brother's fighting side by side taking out all the evil in the world, come back to our side brother and help us, help me fight Metatron."

"I can not join your army of Angels brother in your fight with Metatron, he's not my concern anymore not since I walked away. As of right now my concern if for Sam and who's behind his attack-" Turning to his former friend he looked at him with angry eyes, had to asked him a question. "Do you know who is behind the attack on my friend, was it Naomi trying to get me to come back to her."

"Castiel, I don't know who is behind the attack on Sam Winchester, why would I care if he lives or dies he's not important to me."

"I think you do know who it is and won't be telling me who it is, I have a feeling I know since I had a talk with a brother. Since I couldn't get anything out from him kept his mouth shut, I know he's one of her spies saw him with her. She must have him brain wash like she did me while I was there, got smart on what she was doing to me and left her in the wind."

"Now she sent you to bring me back to her so she can start over again, well brother you can tell her to go to hell. I will not be a puppet to her like the rest of you are; she has no control over me Mandriel like she does with you. I figure she told you to kill me didn't she that's why you got your sword, so what are you waiting for strike me now."

"Yes, she did tell me that I should kill you brother, told her that is one thing I can not do since we are brothers. Come with me Cas don't make this harder on yourself as it already is, she will give you-"

Mandriel didn't have time to finish his words when Castiel attack him, pulling his sword out he fought his own brother. He knew how weak Cas has become since he was cast out of heaven, he don't have the protection he used to have. He tried to be careful as he could since he didn't really want to hurt him, that all change when the Angel went in for the kill. Moving out of the way the tip of Cas' sword slice the left side of his neck, his blood boiled when he was slice on the arm he didn't hold back. Swinging hard he knock the sword out of his friends hand he kick him hard in the chest, watching him flying backwards a few feet from him. Walking up to him he place his sword at the base of his neck, pushing the tip down into his skin to draw blood. Standing over his fallen brother he told him that it's over, they are no longer brothers it's over between them.

"I tried to be nice to you, Castiel offering, you some redemption with us to join our army, you just threw it in my face along with our brotherhood. You are dead to me we are no longer brothers or friends Angel; you will be getting what is coming to you in time Castiel. Better keep an eye on your back you won't know when it will happen, when it does it will be hard and fast won't know what hit you."

Standing back from the man on the ground even being as piss as he is, he still can't bring the killer blow to his former brother. He will let the man do it for revenge he has against Castiel, with his help the human will get what he is asking for. With a flutter of wings the angel disappeared from the wooden area, leaving Castiel all by himself wondering on what he meant.

Going to the warehouse he got the spy untied from the chair, holding him close to his chest he brought him home. Walking into Naomi office with her informer in his arms dead, she grew angry at Castiel for what he did to her spy.

~~~SPN~~~

Walking into Dean's room Matt stepped up to the bed grabbing the chart, he looked it over before glancing at the man. He was happy to see the older brother looking healthier then before, the fever is gone, and the stitches are healing nicely. Tomorrow he will be removing the sutures to Dean's dismay, he didn't want to rush the healing since they got rip open. It's been six days since he and Jackson talked about Dean, and the attack on Sam that he wasn't involve in with Benny. For two days Matt talked with Dean about Sam and Jackson, he told the man that his friend wanted to talk to him. At first he didn't know how he was going to asked Dean about Jackson, knowing how angry he is still with the man. He knows that his friend needs to talk to Dean about what happening, and why he's taking Sam away for a few months or more. He knew the older brother won't be happy to hear what he had to say, he needs to know why Jackson is taking Sam with him.

As he did his check up he was thinking of a way to let the man in front of him know, he had to choose his words wisely as not to start a war. As he check his stitches feeling around the area for any kind of infection, seeing none he was glad that it's healing properly after what happen. Stepping up to the head of the bed he sat down on the chair, looking at the man before him he had to let him know.

"Dean, I'm keeping you for two more days before I release you from my care, tomorrow I will take the sutures out if it all goes well. After what happen I'm not taking any chances with infection or it opening up again, I know you don't like it but I'm not changing my mind."

"I looked over your chart I like what I see young man, your blood pressure is back to normal, heart rate is good, and the fever is gone. I still want you on antibiotic fluids until tomorrow night and a I.V drip, you are not eating enough food to my liking Dean. I would like to see you eat more then you have been, if I don't will keep you in longer then I plan to keep you."

"Well Matt, I haven't had much of an appetite lately and this food sucks, rather eat cardboard might taste better then this crap." Dean pointed to his plate of what looks like food. "I can't even tell what that is supposed to be breakfast, to me looks like a big pile of mush that's gone bad. I want some eggs, sausage, toast and coffee, get me some of that and I will eat the food."

Dean turned pleading eyes to Matt to give him what he wants; it always works for Sammy so why can't he try. Seeing his doctor not giving in to what he wants he sigh like a drama queen, he was trying every trick Sam does to him to get what he wants. Everything he did wasn't getting him what he wanted from the man, finally he just beg him for the things he wanted which he hates to do.'

"Come on Matt, I am hungry not for this stuff you call food, this stuff is crap a dog wouldn't eat it if it was starving. Please get me some real food and I will eat it I promise, and some good coffee that is strong."

"Fine Dean, only on one condition we will go to the cafeteria to have breakfast-hold on let me finish, you will sit in a wheel chair and I will push you there."

Matt stopped Dean before he got out of bed to leave, there was no way he was going to have him walked there.

"Come on Matt, I can walk to the cafeteria by myself I don't need a chair."

"That is me, deal Dean if you don't want to follow it, you can eat that food right there on your plate."

"Fine! Go get the wheel chair bossy pants so I can eat some real food, boy you are so pushy in your old age Matt." Dean said with a glare to the doctor.

"Yeah, well Dean, it comes with the territory being bossy specially to patient like you, and who said I was a bossy pants, I wouldn't talk Dean since you are whinny pants."

Matt said with a smirk as he walked out the door to get the chair, as he stepped out he heard Dean telling him to shut the hell up. Shaking his head Matt walked to get a chair for Dean to sit in, coming back to the room he rolled it up to the bed. Helping Dean was a struggle in it's self since he kept pushing him away, getting in the chair by himself he sat in it grumbling the whole time. As the walked out of the room Dean looked up and down for Jackson, he had some beef to say to the man about Sammy. Getting into the elevator he saw his so call friend walking up to the nurses station, before he could see where he was going the doors closed on him. Coming to the first floor Matt pushed him out of the room, turning to the right he headed for the cafe that's down the hall. Coming to the room he moved Dean to a table before getting their meal, walking over to the food station he got enough for him and Dean. Grabbing two cups of coffee he headed back to the table were he left the man, sitting down they both dug into their meal with Matt keeping a close eye on him.

After their meal Matt took Dean outside to talk about Jackson and Sam, he didn't want to do it inside just in case if Dean starts to yell. Finding a bench under one of the big oak trees he had Dean sit on it, sitting next to him he turned to face the man before him. Taking a deep breath he let Dean know what Jackson wants to do, and let him know why he's taking Sam from him.

"Dean I'm going to tell you something and I need you to promise me you won't get mad, I got a feeling that you will get piss at what I have to say."

"I have a feeling it's going to be about Jackson taking Sammy away from me."

"Yes, it does have to do with Jackson and with Sam my friend, I'm doing it out here were we have more privacy. Jackson has asked me to asked you that he needs to have a talk before you leave, there is something he needs to explain to you on what he has planned for Sam."

"What does he need to explain to me he's taking my brother away from me, so I can't talk to him to let him know how I feel. I have to talk to Sammy Matt he needs to know that I don't hate him, that I still love my brother no matter what my actions where."

"Dean, that is something that you and Jackson need to talk about my friend, I told him that you'll be leaving in two days. He wants to see you before you leave the hospital to go stay at my place, I don't want to hear it Dean I want to keep a close eye on you. You are still weak from the blood loose, your not eating enough food, or taking in enough liquids to keep you hydrated. I already have your bag from the hotel you stayed at, Jackson had one of the nurses go pick it up two days ago. It's in my office right now I got the car keys, the Impala will stay here in long term parking it will be safe. I will be taking a week off to help you, this way I can get some good food into you get your strength back up."

"I wouldn't feel right to let you leave knowing you are not strong enough, I don't want you to go on a hunting trip when you are not ready too. Yes I do know what you and Sam do Jackson talked to me about it, I'm still trying to get my head around that kind of stuff that he told me about. Seeing Benny and that Castiel being I'm starting to think it's real, I told Jackson he's not loosing my friendship over it. Whether if you like it Dean or not you are staying with me, until I know you strong enough to leave to do your work. If you are going after those hunters, Benny and Castiel you need to be strong, right now you are not I can't let you go just yet."

"Alright Matt, I'll stay at your place until I am strong enough to do the work I have to do, I know you are doing it cause you care about me. I would like to get to know you as a person not a doctor; I still want information about Sammy if Jackson let's you know. I need to know that my brother is okay Matt once when he leaves here, when I am done doing what I need to will be searching for him. I have to fix what is broken between us my friend, can't do that if I can't be in his life to get his trust back."

"You surprise me when you went alone with my plans Dean, thought I would have to fight you tooth and nail. I will let Jackson know when it's the best time to talk-why don't we do it at my apartment. I will let Jackson know what day to come over, I can make us all some dinner then talked about his plans. One thing I'm going to stress right now Dean is this, and you better listen really good to what I have to say. 1. There will be no yelling or name-calling. 2. You will listen to what Jackson has to say, before you say anything. 3. Jackson and I are only trying to help you Dean, I will not let you hurt my friend. Do we have an agreement Dean?"

Matt watch the man before him go through a lot of emotions on what he said, he had to make it clear to Dean that he won't allowed any disrespect to Jackson. He saw the anger at first in his eyes with fire in them, then he saw the hurt of a big brother lost for his younger, which went to the defeat look when he closed his eyes. When Dean open them again Matt saw hints of tears in them, seeing Dean turning to him he knew the answer already.

"I will do what you asked Matt, under one condition, I have to speak to Sammy first-please Matt I have to talk to my brother. I will stay by the door so he won't get scared, you and Jackson can stay to help with Sammy. I-I have to let him know how I still feel about him Matt, I have to please let me say my peace to him."

"Let me talk with Jackson and see what we can do Dean, this will be up to Sam not us okay. We will both talk to your brother letting him know, that we will both be in the room with you and him. One thing I'm stressing here Dean that anger of yours is gone, Sam can't feel that anger in you won't be good for him."

"Matt, I don't have anger for Sammy anymore that is gone, I-I" Dean pause for a moment to collect his feelings. "I'm afraid to be with Sammy can't see that look again, it broke me to hear his words and see that look. I have to let him know that I still love him no matter what I said, I don't hate him either could never hate my brother."

Matt was shock to see so much emotion go through Dean, he only knew him for a short time and saw his angered. This part of Dean he has never seen in the week he's been his doctor, he can tell there's no anger to his own brother now just the lost of one. Shaking his head he help Dean in the wheel chair, rolling him back to the building he told him it will happen.

"Dean, one way or another I'll get you to see Sam, I will talk to him and Jackson I promise that."

Getting Dean back in bed he saw how exhausted the man is already, he did the right thing taking Dean to his place. Leaving the room he glances over his shoulder at the older brother, he watch as the man drifted off to sleep. Closing the door he walked to Jackson office to have a talk with his friend.

~~~SPN~~~

Since the talk he had with Matt about Dean not being involved with Sam's attack, Jackson has been talking to Sam about the whole thing. Knowing that he had to be careful on what he says on the matter, he's been trying to get Sam to open up about his feelings on this. Every time he says anything about Dean, Sam turns away from the subject of his brother. Of course the man doesn't push it any further since he's trying to help his friend, so then he goes and talks about his recovery to get him to open. It's been six days since he and Matt talk clearing the air on the whole thing, it's been an up hill battle with Sam those six days. Deep down he knows that Sam wishes that Benny killed him that day, he don't have to say it he can see it in his eyes on how he feels. Finally Jackson needs to have a talk to Sam about what is happening, with them going to the cabin and that Dean would most likely want to see Sam.

First off he will talk to his friend about leaving the hospital to go to the cabin, he's been trying to get a hold of Garth for some help. For two days he couldn't get hold of the younger hunter, the phone number he got from Sam's phone doesn't work. He asked Matt to check Dean's phone for him for the number, seeing that it was the same one he gave up on trying to call. For him to leave to get the cabin ready will take almost two hours to get there, a day to clean and ready for his and Sam's stay for a few months. He didn't want a lot of people to know where he was going to be staying, he knows that no one would say anything he didn't want them involve. Specially after the attack on the nurse, Sam, himself and Dean, so he's not going to asked anyone to help him well maybe Matt if he wants to.

He knows that he's taking a week off to help Dean recover at his apartment; they have already talked about it so this way he can get Sam ready. With the older brother out and away from the hospital he won't have to worry, about Dean getting in the way or causing a whole lot of trouble for them. He felt bad to do it this way but it was the only way he knew, he'd be leaving his car here since it's small for Sam. Tracey has a van she letting him uses while she takes his car to get to work, he even asked if he could remove the back seats for Sam. Taking him out to look the van over she showed him how to do the seats, letting him know that the back seat seats fold down leaving room for a bed. She has done it a couple of time for her family; it was one of the benefits of getting the mini van.

So now that he has the transportation in order he needs to get his patient in order, stepping into the room he sat down in the chair. Looking over at Sam who's been unresponsive for the whole day, he cleared his throat to get his attention so he can talk. Noticing that he wasn't responding to him he called out his name; he waited until his friend looked over at him before he said anything.

"Sam, look at me please."

Jackson waited for his patient to glance over at him.

"I have made plans for us to go to Jim's cabin for a few months or more, if things go as plan we'll be leaving in two days. I got a van for you to lie in for the two-hour trip there, we'll stop off at the grocery store in town to get food. Will get everything we need for our stay there just the two of us, I know some of the things you like we should make a list so I can get the stuff you want. So if you are ready how about we make one right now, you tell me what you want and I'll add what I want to eat."

Jackson waiting for Sam to let him know what he wanted for food, at first he thought maybe he wasn't going to answer him. Then he cleared his throat to talk to his friend about the whole thing, he didn't want Jackson to do all of this for him. In his mind he's not worth the time or effort for him to take time off, seeing the look in his eyes told him he wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Jackson, you don't have to do this just for me man, I'm not worth your time to take from work."

"Sam, how can you say that you are not worth my time friend cause you are, I want to help you Sam get back on your feet? Won't be able to do much with the brace on your leg or your arm in a sling, how are you going to make your food, go outside on the porch to look at the mountains. I'm not wasting my time on your my friend, I want to do this Sam let me help you get better and stronger please."

Seeing the pleading in his friend eyes, Sam couldn't deny his friend that request, he's been there for Sam since the day he got there. Fought to save his life when the only thing he wanted to do was die, he helps him through the after math of the attack. If anything Sam sees Jackson as his older brother and not Dean, he sees the loyalty, love, caring, strength of a big brother in Jackson. How can he say no to what he's asking of Sam, so he swallowed down his own pride and selfishness to allow the help.

"Okay Jackson, let's do the list for the food so we can get what we both like, we are going to need gas for the generator. An ice chest full of ice to keep the perishables cold until the fridge is ready, then we will need eggs, milk, bread, steak, chicken, vegetables, fruit, cereal, ice cream, beer-what's the look for."

Sam stop when Jackson gave him a glare.

"Sam, you are not getting beer with your pain medicine, we'll get soda, water, juice and tea that will be better."

"You asked me what we should get Jackson and I want some beer."

"Sam, when you are feeling better and off the pain pills and knee brace, then and only then you'll get the beer. Until then neither of us will be drinking beer or any other kind of liquor, we are going to go healthy for a while can you deal with that."

"I eat healthy Jackson the one who don't is De-...let's change the subject please, what does the van looked like."

Sam felt tears prick his eyes when he almost mention his brother's name, he was glad when Jackson change the subject. Jackson wasn't trying to bring up Dean's name to Sam, he just happen to slip out when Sam talked about eating. Seeing the far away look and tears pooling in his eyes ready to fall, the man change the subject before he losses Sam again.

"The van is from a friend of mine who is letting us borrow it, my car is too small for you Sam you'll be a sardine in it. The back seats fold down so we can put a bed in it for you to lay on, will be more comfortable for you then sitting in the seats. I will be bring some linen with for the beds since no one been there for awhile, I have a queen size and full size for the beds we are going to need. Pillows we'll bring to just in case there isn't any there, it's been awhile since either of us have been there."

"I don't need the bed, Jackson, the seat will be just fine for me, you don't have to go through all the trouble."

"Sam, those seats are really small for you to lay down on friend, the bed will be more comfortable for you to lay on. Already have it in the van ready to be used once when we leave, been getting things ready for us so we can just go. There's no problem in this Sam and it's not a trouble either, want you to be as comfortable as possible for the trip. Now we got all the settle is there anything else-let's talk about it later Sam, your breakfast is here I want you to eat everything on your plate young man."

Letting Sam eat in private he stepped out of the room he'll come back later, he had other patients to see before he leaves. Walking to the desk he saw Matt and Dean in the elevator as he looked over, he saw the older brother glaring at him before the doors closed. He needs to talk to him before they leave the hospital, knowing that Matt will be talking to Dean about it while they are gone.

Finishing his rounds two hours later and checking in on Sam who was asleep, he went to his office to get work done for his friends. He had to get all the information in about his patients and cases he's doing and seeing, he knew who he's giving each one too so he separated each and everyone. As he finished with the folders and had them in three separate piles, there was a knock on his door letting the person know to come in. Looking up he saw that it was Matt who was stepping through the doorway; closing the door behind him he sat on the couch to talk to his friend.

"I'm taking you talk to Dean about what is going on Matt."

"Yes I did, Jackson told him that you want to talk to him before you leave, he's still upset that you are taking Sam from him. He wants to talk to you my friend no doubt it's going to be about Sam, and how you better be treating his brother while he's away from him. I came up with a plan on where to be talking about all of this, come to my apartment on Wednesday that will give me time to get things ready. Going to get things settle for Dean's stay with me the week he's there, will do some grocery shopping got some good foods for him. What does he like any way Jackson?"

"He likes anything that is greasy Matt he loves it, hamburger with extra onions, steak, fries, greasier the better for him. He will eat baked potatoes instead of mash no vegetables he hates them with a passion, don't like salads of any kind but he will eat it if you make might have to force him though."

"Boy what did I get myself into Jackson I don't eat that stuff, gives me a few ideas on what to get for the week stay. He'll just have to eat what I make him will be good food too he'll be surprise, he told me he wants to get to know me is that good or bad."

Jackson laugh at Matt when he said if it's good or bad about Dean, in his opinion it's a good thing since Dean would want information.

"That is a good thing Matt that Dean wants to get to know you, it's his way finding common ground with you. He's going to want some information about how Sam is doing, and how I'm treating his brother if I'm doing it right. Take it slow my friend don't rush him into doing anything, it can blow up in your face fast and quick. I'm taking it you talk to Dean today about me talking to him, what does he have to say about it."

Jackson was a little nervous on what Dean has to say about him right now.

"He wants to talk to you to my friend on why you want to take his brother away from him, I told him that we'll do it at my place so you both can talk. This way it's more private and I can control the situation if it gets out of hand, I already told him there will be a few rules on the meeting. He didn't seem to thrill about that I didn't budge from it, seems like a man who don't take orders very good does he."

"Got that right Matt, Dean don't really take orders very well by some people, the only one who can get him to do anything is Sam. I think that would be a good place to do the talk, what day do you want me there-why do I feel there's something else Matt."

Jackson could tell there's something else that Matt want to talk about, he was right and he had feeling it would be about Sam.

"I thought that Thursday will be a good day to do it Jackson to come over for dinner, then we can all sit in the living room to talk. There's one thing my friend I promise Dean that I would try to do this, he wants to talk to Sam-hold on Jackson we'll both be in the room with them. Dean wants to let Sam know how he really feels for his brother, I think he needs to do this my friend and Sam needs to hear the truth."

Matt could see that Jackson was going to argue with him, until he told him that it's something they both need.

"You are right Matt, Sam needs to hear what Dean has to say on what happen, don't know if he'll go for it he's still scared of Dean. When I try to talk to him about what happen and Dean didn't send Benny, Sam didn't believe a word I said to him couldn't blame him for it on how he feels. Let's go talk with Sam about all of this and see what he wants, I got a feeling he's going to say no on this whole thing. I do have a feeling that Sam wants to asked Dean some questions, he don't say it I can see that he needs answers. Don't asked me I know how it's a brother thing I can't explain."

"I'm an only child, Jackson, I don't have a clue on how siblings know things, I will take your word on that one friend. If you are ready let's go have a talk with young Sam."

Leaving Jackson office they headed to Sam's room to have a talk with the young man, opening the door Matt saw that Sam was awake staring at the wall. Walking up to the bed Jackson got Sam attention on them, he was a little nervous about this talk since he don't know how Sam will do.

"Sam, Matt and I need to have a talk with you."

"What do you guys need to talk about Jackson, thought we talked about everything earlier."

"This isn't about that Sam what we need to ask you is about Dean-take it easy Sam hear us out okay."

Jackson became worried when Sam's breathing picked up at the name of his brother, calming him down he waited until he was ready.

"I-I can't see him Jackson he-he hates me to much, please don't let him near me please."

Matt walked up to the bed laying a hand on Sam's shoulder, calming the boy down he had to let Sam know what Dean wants to talk about.

"Sam, I want you to calm down kiddo take deep breaths, you don't have to panic Sam it will be fine. Here me out first then you can decide on what you want to do, there's some things I need to talk to you about. If you are ready let me know."

He waited patiently for Sam to calm down enough so he can have a talk with him, seeing him shaking his head letting him know he's ready. What broke his heart is seeing the fear in the young man's eyes.

"I'm taking Dean to my apartment on Wednesday I already talked to him about it, he'll be there for a week so I can keep a close eye on him. Before he leaves he wants to talk to you Sam-calm down and listen to me, Jackson and I will be in the room with you and Dean the whole time. He will stand by the door while he talks to you, Jackson will be with you and I will stand between you and Dean. There's something you need to hear Sam from your brother, he needs to talk to you will you let him."

Matt could see the fear in Sam when he heard Dean's name being mention, wondering if this wasn't the best thing for the young man. He didn't want all of this on Sam's shoulders making him feel like he's in a trap, he wanted Sam to hear what Dean has to say on how he is feeling. As he was waiting he heard Jackson talking to Sam, looking over at his friend he listen carefully to how Jackson talked with him.

"Sam, look at me kiddo, that's it Sam, like Matt said we will be in the same room with you two, I will be talking to Dean first will let him know what's going on. After we talked we will bring him here so he can talk to you, I know there's something you want to ask him but are afraid too. We won't let nothing happen Sam got my word on that, won't force you into seeing him if you don't want to. Give Dean a chance to talk to you Sam on his feelings, give you a chance to talk to him on how you feel my friend."

They both waited to see what Sam would do and say on the matter at hand, if he says no then Dean would have to take that answer. In a small way Jackson hope that Sam will say yes to see Dean seeing him, it just might start some healing in the young man in question. Looking over at Matt they were both not sure what was going to happen, hearing a soft sigh they both looked over at Sam. They both waited with baited breath on what he'll be saying, on what they both heard brought sadness and some hope.

"Jackson, I'm afraid and scared to talk to Dean, he will end up yelling and tearing me down like before. I don't think I can look at him and see the hate and disappointment in his eyes, I have seen too much of that in the last few months. On the other hand you are right there are some things I need to know, do you promise you two will stay in the room with me."

"We will be here, Sam, we won't leave you two alone for a minute, both Matt and I will stand between you and Dean. If you get to anxious we will get Dean out of the room fast, I won't be asking this Sam if I didn't think it was important."

"Jackson's right, Sam this is a talk you and Dean need to have before you leave, I don't know anything about siblings don't have any. I know my friend here cares for you deeply wants what is best, he won't be asking if he didn't care about you young man. I would like to get to know you better to one day Sam, I never had a brother so it would be nice to have a younger one some day."

"Having a brother comes with pain Matt specially an older brother, specially the one you looked up to your whole life. There's been good and bad times between us, sometimes I wish I was an only child,"

"Sam, being an only child is not easy as you think it can be, I have always wanted a big brother or a younger one. I was jealous of my friends who had older and younger siblings to play with; my parents didn't want any more kids after I was born. They told me that I was enough for them to be the only child, come to find out they never really wanted a child to begin with. That hurt me when I was a teenager thinking my parents love me, they got into a fight when my dad spilled it out. I was glad that I finally left the house when I was old enough, went to college to become a doctor so I can help people. My parents are still alive living in a nursing home in New York City, I go see them once a year still love them."

"Even being in college I wish I had a brother or even a sister to hang out with, not having one left a hole in me Sam that never got filled. In my second year of college I met this man over here we became instinct friends, we become so close we were like brothers in a way still are that way even now. I may not have a brother by blood like you do with Dean, I do consider Jackson as my brother so I do have one now. I would like to be a brother to you Sam if you let me one day, maybe I will come and see you and ugly face over there. Would like to have a younger one now since I do have an older one in a way, so see Sam it's not fun to not have a brother it's no fun being the only child."

"If I'm an ugly face then you would have to be the scary face Matt, he's right Sam we have become brother's to each other. Even having Jefferson around he like Matt too even though they met once or twice, he was glad that I had someone near if I needed help if he wasn't there. I do know what you are going through Sam I really do, don't know how many times I wish I never said those words to Jefferson. Now I can't take them back or asked him if he really cares about me, you still have Dean to talk to about your feelings. This is up to you Sam what you want to do we'll except your answer, we are not pushing you into anything you don't want to do."

"You two do sound like brothers calling each other names like that, sounds like-I'm scared to see him Matt I am. You are right I have to asked him something I need to know, if you promise you two will be in here I will let Dean in."

"Okay, I will let him know Sam that you will see him, I will make sure he stays over there by the door. I got to go have patients to see before I leave for the night, see you later Sam you take care of him Jackson."

As Matt walked to the door Sam call out to him, glancing over his shoulder he saw Sam looking at him. Was the first time he made eye contact since he's been in the room, standing there he waited to see what Sam wanted. What he heard made his heart skip a beat with a warm feeling inside of him, he only had one answer to give the man for the olive branch he offered.

"Matt, I could use another brother one day, if you want a younger one like me."

"I would like to have you as a younger brother Sam, thank you for asking me friend."

Leaving the room with tears in his eyes Matt felt like he's a winner, now he has two brothers he can love.

Watching as his friend left the room Jackson glance over at Sam, who is looking at the door that Matt walked out of. Feeling a proud of Sam for reaching out with the olive branch to Matt, he felt sad at the same time for Dean. It's like Sam is taking him and Matt as brothers over Dean who is his brother, he wishes he could fix this all in one day knowing it won't be happening. Placing his hand on Sam shoulder he smiles down at his friend, he is looking up at with fear in his eyes for what is about to come. Taking a deep breath Jackson wanted to let Sam know how he is feeling, hopefully it will ease his fears somewhat.

"I'm proud of you Sam, for taking this step forward, I know you are scared to see Dean right now. By taking this step it will help you heal, don't be afraid my friend I won't let anything bad happen."

"I know Jackson, I'm still afraid to see Dean I can't help it, don't want to see the hate in his eyes, I can't-I just can't."

Not wanting Sam to get all worked up tonight he rub his arm in comfort, smiling sadly he walked to the door to leave. He didn't dare to look back knowing what he would be seeing, opening the door he walked out to finish he rounds for the day.

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

Sam watched as Jackson and Matt left the room after their talked they had, a part of him wished he said no at seeing Dean. He's scared to see his older brother after everything that has happen, but a part of him wants answers on what Dean did while he was gone. Did he look for Sam while he was tortured by the hunters, did he even miss him, thought about him, cared enough to go look. These things Sam needs to know if Dean really cares for him, he can always tell when Dean is lying or telling the truth. He can see it in his eyes on how he is feeling deep inside, his eyes always give away his true feeling when he tries to hide it from Sam or others. Dean's eyes are the windows of his soul that shows his true feelings, Sam has learned on how to read them when Dean tries to hide things. That is why when his older brother is hurting he won't look at Sam, but when he's angry or frustrated he does look Sam in the eye. Which he knew from the past it just his way of venting when things go wrong, or when Sam gets hurt by trying to protect Dean or a hunt goes wrong. He knew back then it was all a cover up on how he was truly feeling, he was scared that he could have lost his little brother by stupidity. Now the last few months what he got from his brother's eyes is hate, angered, mistrust, disappointment, all aimed at Sam for all the mistakes that he has every made. Like the one that they are in now with the whole Purgatory thing, his older brother thinks that Sam just left him for dead. That he didn't care enough to go look for him, that he just left the hunting life, to go live with a girl and a dog. He don't know the whole reason why Sam walked away from it all, yes the brother's did agree not to look or do something stupid. Cause when they did it always blew up in their faces in such big ways, like the Demon blood, starting the Apocalypse, all because Sam wanted revenge on Lilith. Dean selling his soul to get his brother back to him making a one-year deal, that send Sam into a spiral trying to get Dean out of the damn thing. In some ways it's was Dean fault for all the mistakes that Sam had made, both brother's were not innocent on their action that lead to them now.

The more Sam thought about everything that went between them he grew angry, how is it that Dean could make the mistakes and it's okay. But if Sam makes the mistakes all hell breaks loose from the older brother, bringing up all the bad things he has done through the years. Having his brother say that let's put everything under the rug, and starts over with a clean slate wiping all the mistakes away. Then here comes Dean bring it all back up with the curse penny that drove his emotions, yes he was under a spell of the curse object when he said those things. The curse does feed off the anger the person holds against someone they care about, so that means that Dean wasn't telling the truth about cleaning the slate. Does he still hold all the hate he has for Sam so deep he never saw it in his eyes, not until that day he was hit by an angry Dean and saw all that hate aim at him. The whole time in all those years his older brother has been lying to him, that he has never really forgiving him for all his faults. Even blames him for their mother's death when he was a little baby not old enough to talk, he wishes that Sam was never been born never wanted a brother anyway. That made Sam's heart break knowing that Dean never wanted him in the first place, so why does he want to talk to him if he never wanted a brother.

Looking out the window his vision started to get blurry with unshed tears, wiping them away angrily only to have more come rolling down his cheeks. He wishes he can control his emotions, which is very hard for him, the depression is putting him out of whack, one moment he's crying, next his anger, then he crying again. Taking a deep breath he tried to calm the storm that's brewing inside of him, looking around he tried to find something to put him out of his misery. When he couldn't he looked out the window feeling a sob in his chest, he whisper to his friend on his true feelings.

"Jim, why did you have to let me leave the safe place I was at, only to come to a cold place with a brother who wish I was never been born, and hates me."

Taking a shutter breath Sam couldn't stop the tears once they fell down his cheeks, he wasn't looking forward to meeting Dean one last time.

~~~SPN~~~

Early the next morning found Matt in Jackson office talking about Dean seeing Sam, both doctors had to make sure everything goes well. Both knowing how nervous Sam going to be seeing Dean after what happen, even the older brother seems nervous seeing the his younger sibling. Both doctors want to make it as stress free as possible, if one wrong word is said between them can lead to a disaster. That is one thing that Jackson is worried about when it comes to Dean, if he still holds some anger to Sam. Matt said that Dean don't have any kind of anger towards Sam anymore, Jackson does believe his friend words he won't lie to him. Now comes the part that Jackson is not looking forward to since the attack, he needs to have a short talk to Dean before he goes see Sam. He's not sure how it's going to go with the older brother; he knows he's angry with him for what about to happen. Right now he can't have that anger if he wants to see Sam, he needs to control his emotions if he wants to talk to his brother. Before leaving they both talked on how it's going to go.

"Jackson, I will go in first to talked with Dean before you come in, I will let him know that he can't hold any anger to you."

"Good luck on that one Matt Dean has a way of holding a grudge, you are right he can't hold on that anger. If he comes into Sam's room with just the slight hint of it things will go down hill, Sam will be the one that will get hurt by it."

"Jackson, I have gone over this with Dean and stress on how the anger has to be gone, he knows how important this is my friend. He's not going to ruin what chance he got to see his brother, he going to hold that until you come over on Wednesday for dinner."

"I can handle Dean's anger my friend on any giving day of the week so could Sam, but now with how fragile his brother is it can break him. Let's get this over with so we can get on with our day, I know you have a full day ahead of you getting things ready."

Stepping out of the office the headed for Dean's room first, with Matt walking in to talk with the older brother. Three minutes later Matt opens the door to let Jackson into the room, stepping in he was surprise on what he saw.

Finishing his mush breakfast that tasted like cardboard with very little interest, Dean couldn't get his mind to clear on what's about to happen. He's excited to see his Sammy at the same time he's scared as hell, what if Sam says no to seeing him today that would crush him. He'll understand why he change his mind after the way he treated him, he would say no too if he was in Sam's shoes to be honest with himself. The more he thought about seeing his brother his stomach started to hurt, his nerves were getting the better of him at the moment. Hearing the door open he saw Matt walking in by himself, his heart drop into his stomach thinking the worse from the man. Keeping a close eye on him as he walked up to him, he tried to read his posture to see it his worse thoughts came true. When Matt told him where Jackson was he let out a breath of relief, there's a chance he just might get to see Sam.

"Dean, Jackson waiting outside the door I want you to listen to him, please don't show any kind of anger to him. Wait until he comes over on Thursday to show your anger to him, if Sam sees any kind of anger he can loose him. Sam can't see a hint of it Dean-I know you said you don't hold it anymore, but seeing Jackson you will show it to him you can't do it."

"I promise I won't show any anger towards Jackson Matt not today, not if it means that I can't see Sammy. I won't ruin that chance to say my peace to my brother man, can't let that happen no matter what I swear I won't."

"I believe you won't Dean, let me go get Jackson."

Walking to the door he opening it up letting Jackson into the room, he smirk to see the surprise look on his friends face. Both men walked up to the bed to have a talk with Dean, Jackson can't get over the change in Dean attitude. He is making good of his promise not to show his anger just yet, standing next to the bed he kept a close eye on his hands. Experience has taught him well when it comes to the older brother, something that he hasn't forgotten after all these years of not seeing him.

Dean watches as Jackson looked at where his hands were and smirk, he had remember of being hit by an angry big brother. This time he won't be not going to ruin that chance of seeing Sammy, he'll wait until they get to Matt's place before he swings. Looking up at his friend if they are still friends that is after everything, that has happen between them the past week went down hill.

"Dean, Matt and I talked to Sam yesterday about you wanted to talk to him, he's nervous about you coming into his room. We both let Sam know that we will be in the room with you two, I will be by Sam side, while Matt will be by your side."

"I told Sam that I'll make sure you stand by the door Dean so he won't panic, I'm sorry it was the only way he got him to agree."

"That's fine guys, I already said that I would stand by the door, I have to talk to him Jackson I have to let him know. That I don't hate him, that I want him as my brother, that I still love him, no matter what my actions said other wise."

"I know you don't hate Sam no matter what happen between you two, he don't know that he thinks you really hate him. That is why he's scared to see you he's afraid he's going to see the hate, don't be upset if he don't look at you when you talk to him. He told me that he can't stand to see the hate if he looks at you, let him make the first move Dean don't force him."

"Jackson, I won't be forcing Sammy into anything I don't think I can look at him, not in a bad way in a way that I'm afraid of what I'll see. I'm scared to see the mistrust scared little boy that I made him to be, I can't see that look in his eyes it will break me Jackson."

"Let me go let Sam know you are ready to see him Dean, I will text Matt when you can come to his room."

With that Jackson left Dean's room to go have a talk with his young friend, stepping into Sam's room his heart broke for the boy in question. He looked like a scared deer caught by headlights from a car frozen in place, not sure where to go or how to move out of the way. Sitting on the bed he place a calming hand on his arm, he wanted Sam to stay calm while Dean is in the room.

"Sam, Dean is ready to come over to talk to you, if you are ready I'll call Matt to bring him over."

"I-I'm scared Jackson."

"I know Sam it's going to be okay my friend, I'll stay here while Matt stays with Dean."

Seeing his friend shaking his head yes he text Matt's to come over.

While Matt and Dean waited for Jackson message, the older brother thought maybe it wouldn't happen. What seems like hours to Dean who was only minutes the text came through, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves he got off the bed. Both Matt and Dean walked over to Sam's room knocking on the door before opening it, Matt came in first followed by Dean he looked any where besides the bed.

When Sam heard the knock he bowed his head closing his eyes, hearing the door opening he tense up in fear. Feeling the presences of his brother almost made Sam have a panic attack, what grounded him was the touch from Jackson that stayed. Grabbing his coat sleeve he felt some of the panic left him, as he waited for Dean to start yelling at him for what happen to him with the hunters.

Jackson felt Sam tense with fear as soon as Dean walked into the room, grabbing his friend wrist to help him through the talk. He doesn't blame Sam being so nervous around Dean being in the room, guessing that when he did his older brother yelled him at. Seeing Dean standing by the door looking anywhere but in Sam's direction, he was shock to see how nervous the older sibling is at the moment. Watching as Matt tap Dean's shoulder to have the man to talk to Sam, he too saw how the man on bed tense with fear.

Feeling the tap on his shoulder Dean looked over at Matt trying not to look at Sam, he didn't want to see the scared boy he knew he'd see. Taking a deep breath to calm his already frazzle nerves of being there, he had to let Sam know how he really feels about him. When the first word came out he saw Sam flinch with fear, which almost made him run out of the room with failure. Getting his courage back he cleared his throat again, this time he tried to ignore the flinch that came from his brother.

"Sam-" Dean stopped when he saw the flinch, then he started again. "Sam, what I'm going to say is the truth, I don't hate you kiddo I could never hate you no matter what. I-I love you Sammy that will never change on how much I do, I know my action have said other wise it's the truth."

"Saying sorry is not going to fix the damage that I have done to you, I wish I could take it all back but I can't. You are the most important person in my life little brother, I'm glad that mom gave you to me best thing that has ever happen to me. Just know one thing Sammy that no matter what I have said or did to you, I didn't mean any of it I was anger needed to get it out and took it out on you. I knew what I was doing by my hurtful words and actions, it felt good to see you hurt for once since we got back. I knew I was doing a lot of damage to you didn't care at the time, I couldn't stop myself tiger once the words came out couldn't stop them."

"Know this one thing, Sam and for me to saw it in front of other people mean something, I love you so damn much little brother I could never hate you. That is one word that don't apply to you in my words of how I feel, I asked that one day you'll let me back into your life I know I don't deserve to be. I want to make what I did wrong to you right again Sammy, can you please give me that chance one day little brother."

Dean waited to see what Sam would do after he said what he had to, through his whole talk he kept a close eye on his brother. He could tell that he was waiting to be yell at; belittled by his older big brother, by his tense posture he has at the moment. The whole time he talks to the young man not once did he look up, most likely to afraid to cause he would get the hate and angry glares. Glancing over at Jackson he was jealous for the man taking his job, but it was his own fault by his action that got him here. He was bout to leave when he heard the soft-spoken voice of his brother; it was so soft if he didn't know him he would have missed it. It was that soft voice he had back at Jim's cabin after the attack from Brian, and all the hurtful words from their dad he was to afraid to speak louder. He had to listen carefully as not to miss a word from him, knowing if he did he could loose his brother for good.

As Sam waited for Dean to start yelling at him he couldn't help the flinch that came, he was waiting for the harsh hateful angry words that he always got. What took him by surprise was to hear a soft-spoken big brother, like he used to hear when he was younger and scared kid who needed his brother. As he listen to Dean tell him that he loves him, that he don't hate him that he never could hate him. How he wanted to hurt his brother with the words he said to him in his angered, knowing how much he really want Sam to be feeling. That part crushed Sam to hear his brother said that to him, knowing that everything he said was true on how he was feeling. Then to hear his brother say that he was glad that his mom gave Sam to him, that he still wanted to give their brotherhood another chance if he let's him.

Through the whole talk Sam kept his head down not looking at Dean or his direction, he kept his eyes on Jackson hand as he played with his coat sleeve. He really wanted to believe what Dean said to him he does what to believe, he's been crushed to many times by his brother that he can't do it. Hearing him walking to the door he had to know a few things before he walked out the door, getting the nerve to talk to his brother hoping he don't get yelled at.

"D-Did you look for me when I left or stayed with Benny."

Dean closed his eyes at his brother question, knowing he had to say the words just right.

"When you walked out that night I knew we needed some time apart, I gave you a few days to come back. When a week gone by with no word from you I did get mad, thinking you were off sulking wouldn't answer your phone. In the past when you did leave you'll be gone a week or two before you came back, when the third week came with no signs of you I started to get worried."

"I would be looking out of the window for you when we were at the hotel, when we-I mean when Benny and I would go hunt I would search for you. I wasn't around him when I went looking for you Sammy, told him to meet me back at the hotel when he separated for a search. By the fourth week I was scared that something bad happens to you, at the same time I was angry at you for making me worry. I would have asked Cas to help me in my search but we are not talking, Garth wouldn't help me if I asked him."

As Sam listen to what Dean was saying the words of Randy came back to him, saying that Dean would be looking around the parking lot, checking his phone for messages. Now he knew that part was true about what the man said to him, that his brother did look for him there was one more thing he had to know. For this he had to look Dean in the eye to know the truth, he doesn't know if he could look him in the eye. He didn't want to see the hate coming from the brother he looked up to, the one he worship, wanted to be like when he got older. Lifting his head slowly he glance over at Dean still avoiding eye contact, when he finally did look at his brother he didn't see any kind of hate. Which took Sam by surprise since that is all he saw was hate, taking a deep breath before he loses his nerves of looking at Dean. There was one thing he really had to know, and he'll know if he's telling the truth by his eyes.

"Did you mean it when you told me you wish that I was never been born, that we are no longer brothers."

Sam couldn't stop the tears fill his eyes asking the question, fearing on what he'll hear from him.

"No Sam, I didn't mean any of it I said it cause I knew it would hurt you, I wish I could take those hurtful words back. None of those words are not true Sam believe me when I say it."

Seeing the tears in Sam's eyes made his eyes water, he didn't wipe them away he had to show Sam it's the truth. Watching as the tears rolled down his brother's face he knew deep down he didn't believe him, why should he since all he did was shot his brother down? Take a deep breath he looked over at Matt nodding to leave, he sees the fear and pain in Sam's eyes and it's killing him.

As he walked out the door he heard the sobs of his brother's pain, it took all he had not to go back and hug him.

Watching as Dean left the room with Matt behind him he look over at Jackson, he needed someone to comfort him he wrapped his arms around the man and cried. Jackson held Sam close to his chest rubbing his back; he stayed until Sam cried himself to sleep from exhausting and pain.

Going back to his room Dean sat on the bed looking at the door, he so wanted to go back and hold his brother. It hurt him deep to see Jackson being in his spot of taking care of a scared Sammy, it was his own doing for putting him in the spot he's in. Feeling the tears running down his cheeks he let them go, he never felt Matt hold him in a hug as he cried his heart out.

The rest of Matt's and Jackson day went by smoothly as they check on their patients, checking in on Dean and Sam a few times during the day. Both men wanted to give the brother the privacy they needed, after they had their emotional talk to each other either one wasn't up to talking.

~~~~SPN~~~

It's been two days since the brother's talked to each other; Matt was leaving with Dean so Jackson wanted to talk to his friends. Jackson was finishing up his case work when he heard a knock on his door, telling the person to come in he looked up to see Tracey, Matt and Brad walking in. Motion them to sit he let them know which stack was who's, knowing which doctor was best suited for which of his patients. Knowing that Matt would be gone for five days after he left, he asked Brad if he could pick up the cases for him. As of right now Jackson has six patients he is seeing, each one he talked to about him leaving for some personal time. Knowing which of his friends would be suitable for which patients he will inform them, taking each stack he offered them to his friends before he spoke. Turning to Brad he asked him if he could help with Matt's, until he came back from his time with Dean.

"Brad, I need to asked you a favor my friend."

"Let me guess you want me to keep an eye on the patients you are giving Matt."

Brad said in a playful sarcasm tone while rolling his eyes, making his friend laugh at his antics.

"That is right, Brad it would only be for five days after I leave, Tracey said that she will help you if you need it."

"That will be fine dude I was only giving Matt a hard time, of course I will take them until he comes back. I know he's helping you with two other patients of your, I hope that everything works out for you both."

"Only time will tell on that Brad we'll see how things go tomorrow night, will be going over to Matt's place for a talk. Then I will be leaving with Sam on Friday after my rounds, I will have everything ready for us to hit the road after lunch. Want to beat the evening traffic through town and out of the area, hoping it will only take a few hours to get where we are going. Tracey thanks again for letting me use your van for Sam, it will be a big help getting him in and our of it."

"It's no problem Jackson it's better then that small car of yours, wouldn't know how to drive it used to a real car." She said with a smirk and wink.

"Funny girl, keep it up and I will have you walked to work missy, would give my keys to Matt who won't give them to you."

"Alright you two stop with the flirting let's get down to the real business at hand, so which patients are you giving us dude."

Brad and Matt both shook their heads at Jackson and Tracey, before Brad broke it up to get to the real business.

"For you Brad, I gave you Stacy Miller who had surgery for appendices that rupture, she's fighting the infection from the puss that leaked into her system, Misty Sinclair has double pneumonia that is slowly clearing up. All the information is in the folders you can go over them, while I talk to the others to see if you have any questions. Tracey the ones that you have to look after is Billie Morgan who suffered from a heart attack, Jill Harvey had a stroke she's not doing so good right now. Here's the folders to go over all the information, if you have any questions please let me know. As for Matt's I have a couple who were hit by a drunk driver, they are both in critical condition in ICU with major injuries. They are both slip into a coma this morning before I came into work, I feel bad to leave you all with this case."

Jackson was having a hard time with his emotion at the moment with the couple, he wants to stay to help his patients he really does. But Sam really needs his help to get him through his depression and injuries, what help him with his struggling emotions was Brad and Tracey. They both been in Jackson place who has covered for them, so now it's their turned to help out their friend in his time of need. Taking the other folders they both looked it over before Brad said anything.

"Jackson, both Tracey and I have been in your shoes buddy we know the feeling, go help your friend heal from his injuries he needs you more. We can handle these cases for you even the ones for Matt while he's gone, we both will check up on Doug and Emily Reid until he returns."

"Brad is right Jackson we can handle your cases for you even Matt case, go be with your friend he needs you more then we do. Both of us have been in your shoes my friends we know the feeling, don't worry about this we got it taken care of darling."

"Thanks guys for being here for me with all these cases I have right now, I know you both can take care of the ones I give you. I hope that the Reid's will make it I'm going to be positive about it, I have seen patients like them pull through with flying colors."

"We got to get going buddy have patient to look after don't worry about anything Jackson, just worry about getting your friend better."

With that Brad and Tracey walked out of his office to finish their day out, while Matt stayed behind to talk to Jackson. He can tell his friend was worried about tomorrow night on how Dean will be, he will take his angry out on his friend he knows this.

"Jackson, what are you worrying about, I told Dean the rules for tomorrow."

"Matt when it comes to Dean there's no such thing as rules, specially when he's in big brother mode."

"I'll make sure he don't hit that pretty face of yours, well I should say you pretty ugly face of yours."

Matt laugh at the glare he got from Jackson, who had a smirk on his face, did him good to see his friend more relax.

"I got to get going need to get Dean sign out here so I can take him home, I already did some grocery shopping last night. Got everything ready for him at the apartment in the spare room, I took his bag last night and hid the keys to the Impala. So he's stuck with me until I bring him back here next week, he's going to fight me with the wheel chair I know he will."

"That is right for sure that he'll fight you all the way my friend, like I said take it slow with Dean don't rush or push him to much. I know how stubborn he can be when he get his mind set on something, he needs his rest to get his strength back up. Do you want me to bring anything for dinner tomorrow, like pie can be a peace offering for Dean he loves pie."

"You are going to make peace with Dean on some pie really Jackson, I have to wait to see this one if it will work or not."

"I know it will work might get it in my face if I'm that lucky, knowing Dean he won't waste it that way he's loves it to much. If he doesn't hit me then I'm doing good Matt, we'll see what happens better let you go. I will see you tomorrow with some blueberry pie in hand."

"Alright Jackson I will see you then my friend, got to get going want to get home before dinner time."

Jackson watch as his friend walked out the door to get Dean, he just hope that Dean will listen to him on what he's about to do. Getting up himself he needs to get things ready for him and Sam to leave, the mattress and wheel chair are in the van ready to be used. He'll be putting the bags, medicine, cooler and snacks in on Friday, then he'll go and collect Sam then they can leave.

Leaving his office he had his own rounds he needed to do, before he heads off to his apartment for the night.

~~~~SPN~~~

Dean laid in bed waiting for Matt to returned from his visit with Jackson, the day before he got the stitches removed he was so happy about that. It was bothering him so much as they healed he wanted to itch the area, Matt and Kelly both warned him not to do anything or else. Now he's sitting here ready to leave the hospital once and for all, the only thing he didn't like was leaving Sammy behind. His brother was so close to him now not in a brotherly way as he wanted, but in a way that he knew where Sam was at all times. A part of him wanted to go to his room one last time to talk to him, before he left for Matt's place for a week to heal from his injuries. He didn't want to wait he wanted to get out there and hunt those bastards down, Reggie and Tim who dare hurt his Sammy the way they did. He knew that Matt was right he needed more time to heal and recover before he did, won't be good to have him collapse from being so weak as he hurt them. So here he is waiting for Matt to come to take him to his place, at least he can think of ways to hurt those animals for what they did to Sam.

Hearing the door open he saw Matt come in with a wheel chair in tow, he just rolled his eyes at the man by his bed. Getting off the bed he sat down on the chair with a heavy sigh, which made Matt smirk at Dean's drama Queen antics. Walking down the hallway they pass Sam's room with the door close, looking longing at the door he whisper to himself as they pass by. 'I'll be seeing you soon Sammy I promise I'll make things better.' As the kept going down the hallway to the elevator to leave the building, once outside Matt took Dean to his car that was waiting at the door. Getting him in he left the chair by the door of the building, walking back to his car he heard Dean asking about the Impala.

"Matt where's my Baby at? She's okay isn't she?"

"Dean, your car is just fine I have it in the long term parking, it's safe there until you come back for it."

"There better not be a scratch on her Matt or I'll be piss about it, I know every inch of her know if anything if out of place."

"You talk about the car like it's a real person Dean, I know how attach you are to it that's why I park it myself."

"It's not an it Matt it's Baby you are talking about, she is my girl just like Sammy is my boy."

"Dean you have a very unhealthy relationship with that car, you know that."

"Shut up Matt and drive this piece of junk you call a car-oh what did I hurt your feelings, oh well that is what you get for calling Baby just a car."

Dean smirk at Matt who pulled out of the parking lot onto the street, on the way to the apartment they stop off at a fast food joint. After they had their dinner Matt drove to his place to get Dean comfortable, parking the car he looked over to see the man with his eyes closed next to him. Shaking his shoulder lightly letting him know they are here, he knew that he wasn't sleeping just resting his eyes. Walking to his door he let Dean in first to have a look around his place, closing and locking his door he went to show Dean where he'll be sleeping. Going back to the living room he sat down to watch some T.V, seeing more the hearing Dean sitting on the couch they both sat in a comfortable silence.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

Arriving early, Jackson rushed into the ICU to check up on the Reid, he got a phone call from night nurse they turned for the worse. He was getting ready for work when he got the phone call from her, letting him know they already called the son and daughter of the couple. Rushing into the room to see two nurses and the night doctor, trying their hardest to keep the couple alive they best they could. When the family members arrived Jackson had to give them the bad news, their parents were clinically dead the only thing keeping them alive were the machines. The brain and other organs were shutting down slowly; their hearts were still beating slowly in time it would stop too. Bringing them into the room he left them alone, to give them some privacy to say their final goodbyes. Seeing the son in the doorway is when Jackson returned to the room, there were a few things he had to say to them on what they wanted to do.

"Both of your parents are clinically dead which means their brains has stop, their organs are slowly shutting down the last will be the heart. The only thing that is keeping them alive is the machine they are on, the damage was to great from the car accident they were in. Their bodies can't take the stress anymore from the injuries, I'm sorry we tried our best to keep your parents alive."

"Don't be sorry, Doctor Jackson we know you did your best for our parents, Claire and I have decided to take them off the machines. Our parents have already told us if this happens to let them go in peace, it's the hardest decision we will have to make we don't want them to suffer anymore." Charles said with a heavy heart.

"Let me know when you both are ready, I will turned the machines off."

Jackson waited until both were ready before he turned off each machine, the siblings were in between the beds holding their parents hand. Claire with her father, Charles with his mother when the machines were turned off, Jackson waited until the monitor flat lines and they drew their last breath. Letting them know to take as long as they needed before he walked out the door, signing the papers he handed them to the nurse.

Taking a deep breath to fight his emotions on what had happen in the room, he knows it comes with the job but it doesn't make it any easier. Smiling sadly to the two nurses he had other patients he had to see, before he goes and check up on Sam he don't want to be to depress with his friend.

~~~SPN~~~

By lunch time Jackson felt better from what happen earlier in the day, he took care of his other patients and talk to Brad and Tracey. Taken some lunch to Sam will help him over come his sadness; he had to make sure all of that was gone before he saw his friend. He don't want Sam to see him so sad that's why he waited until lunch, Kelly let him know that Sam didn't eat much of his breakfast earlier. So he got some food from the cafe for them, stepping into the room he saw Sam looking out the window. Clearing his throat to let him know he's there he stepped up to the bed, placing their meals on the table before taken a seat. As Sam looked at Jackson he felt bad to see red rim eyes looking at him, not wanting to make a deal out of it he talked with Sam about leaving. This way it will get Sam's mind off of what ever set him to tears, and will help Jackson with what happen this morning. Giving Sam his sandwich, chips and drink, they both ate their meal before Jackson talked about tomorrow.

"Sam, tomorrow will be the day we leave this place behind us before we head for the cabin, I'm thinking we should leave after lunch this way we can beat the afternoon traffic. Want to get out of town before rush hour started, will have everything pack and ready to go when I bail you out of here."

"Once when we get out into the country we'll take our time to reach Ketchum, I haven't been there since the day Jefferson and I went to visit you. I know there's a grocery store in town so we can stop there and get food, you can come in with me and we'll shop together on what we want to eat."

Jackson was trying to get Sam out of his rut he was in, maybe talking about the town will help with that. He knew that his friend was having a hard time since he talked with Dean, he hope that what the older brother said will help him heal. When Sam cried in his arms he could hear all the hurt and pain in his tears, part of him knew that Sam didn't believe Dean in what he had said to him. He hope that Sam believe in some of the words Dean said, he can tell the words came from his heart and love he has for Sam.

Sitting there Sam listen to Jackson talked about leaving the next day, he wish that his friend didn't have to go out of his way. He felt bad enough that Jackson would have to leave work for him, to spend who knows how long with someone like him. He can't help that he feels like a burden to Jackson with his injuries, add to that he's taken time from his job to help him since he can't do it himself. Seeing the hope and excitement in his friend eyes about the trip, he couldn't let him down for all the work he's putting into this.

"Jackson, I don't know if I can go into the store like this, you would have to pushed me in a wheel chair. How will you get the food in the shopping basket pushing me around?"

"Well, you can hold onto the basket while I push you all over the store, I have always wanted to pushed you around from the first time I met you." Jackson said with a wink and smirk, which made Sam giggle.

"Yeah, I bet you did want to push me around a few times with all the trouble I cause, now it's pay back right for all the pain I cause." Sam said with a smile.

"Got that right kid you were a pain in the ass back then alright, always ignoring me, giving me the silent treatment. You know that old saying pay back is a bitch, now it's pay back time kiddo."

Jackson and Sam both laugh since they knew it was the truth, it did the doctor good to hear Sam laugh.

"I got to get going Sam have some more patients to see before I leave, will come by with some dinner for you. I can't stay since I have plans to go over to a friend's house for dinner, we have things to talk over with us leaving. Get some rest Sam I'll give you something for the pain, won't make you sleeping just take the pain away."

"You don't have to come back to get me some dinner Jackson, I'll be fine with what they bring me to eat."

"Sam, what they bring you I can't call it food young man, I need you to eat some good food to get your strength up. So I will bring you some good food to eat for dinner before I leave, will even give you your evening medicine too."

Getting up from the chair Jackson made sure Sam took his medicine before he left, walking out of the room he had other patients to check over before he leave for the night. As promise he came back to Sam with a plate from the cafe, leaving his medicine in the cup next to his drink for him to take. He made sure that Sam will take it after he's done, will have one of the nurses come in to check if he did or not.

Heading home first he needed to take a shower before he heads over to Matt's place, getting work washed off of him he got himself ready. Grabbing a six-pack of beer he walked out the door to his car, before he knew it he was pulling into the parking lot of the apartments. Finding a space next to his friends car he got out, walking up to the door he couldn't help the butterflies in his stomach. He wasn't sure what kind of mood Dean would be in when he arrives, taking a deep breath he knock on the door to Matt's apartment.

~~~SPN~~~

Lying in bed Dean thought about the talk he had with Sam the other day, he hope that his little brother believe everything he had said to him. He wants to fix the damage he has done to his little brother, the words he has said came from his heart not his mind. He wish that Sam would have looked at him during his talk, so he could see that he was telling the truth on what he spoke. Sam could always tell when Dean is being serious, scared, happy, angry, and sad or showing love, he can see it in the older brother eyes they always gave him away. This time Sam kept his head bowed like he was scared to look at Dean, well hell he'll be scared to look at himself for what he did. Seeing Sam flinch when he spoke his name hurt Dean deep, knowing that it was his actions that cause that fear in Sam by his own hands.

He knew that every time he talked to Sam it was with anger in his voice, from all the hurt he felt from his little brother. Even when Sam tried to talk to Dean he just shot him down each time, hitting him out of anger, telling him things that were not true. He did that to his own little brother he's sworn to protect and love from day one, even before the time his dad put him in his arms that fateful night. It has always been his job to take care of Sammy no matter what, now here he is being separated from him by his own actions. He has no one to blame but himself for putting him in the here and now, it wasn't Benny, Cas or Garth who drove the wedge it was himself that did it. Now he's laying here without a brother to look out for, to protect from all kinds of harm, even with him being an adult he still protects him. As he thought on what he has done by his own hands and actions, his eyes slowly close with his mind still going through all his mistakes.

 _Following the direction the vampire ran off too Dean silently headed in the direction; he got separated from Sam back in the woods when the vampires attack. When the hunt began both brothers went in together having their senses on high alert, with the sun going down fast they had little time for no errors. Knowing that the creatures keep to the shadows during daylight they both kept a sharp eye, knowing that at any time the two remaining Vamps will attack them. Finding the nest they went inside while the sun was high in the sky, knowing they will be sleeping during the daytime or hanging low. They both entered quietly through the front door after checking from the window, seeing no one in the living room the entered into the house. During their research they found out that the gang wasn't that big, there were only six Vampires that were stalking and killing the people at night. From witnesses statements and one sole survivor of an attack there were six people involved, one of them said that a male and female were the leaders of the group. They were the ones who attack a group of four people before the other joined in, while the six were mauling the two males and female they help the fourth one escape. As the ran to get help for the man they saved from the murderous bunch, one of the saw the direction they all headed to after they killed the victims._

 _So here they are now walking into the nest of the blood sucking vamps to kill every last one, moving slowly side by side they went further into the house checking each room. When they got to the back of the building is were they found all six of them, all laying on the floor with three on each side of the room. Dean took one group while Sam took the other group knowing they had to be quick, once when they attack that will alert the others to come to the defense. With one smooth stroke of the blade both took the heads off of two, before the other two could react Dean and Sam were quicker slicing their heads right off. Before they could get to the pack leaders they bolted out the door heading into the woods, followed by Dean and Sam who were hot on their heels to finish the job._

 _Coming to a small clearing both brothers stop to look the area over before they go further, looking behind them first then to the left then right they move slowly into the open area. Keeping close to each other they advance keeping their senses on high alert, knowing they can be on them in no time flat without making a sound. When they were in the middle of the clearing they both stop to look around, standing with their backs to each other so they could have a full frontal attack. Out of the corner of his eye Dean saw the first Vamp attack, pushing Sam out of the way Dean attack the creature missing it by a hair. That move gave the other creature the opening to attack Sam while his brother was focus on his mate, he grabbed Sam so fast and hard the younger brother didn't have time to yell. When Dean turned to see were Sam was he couldn't find his brother, panic set in him not knowing where Sam went off to. He had to make the hardest choice of his life he needed to kill the alpha female vamp, then he will come back to kill the alpha male for taking his brother. Running in the direction she went he came upon a old log home, looking around before he entered Dean slowly open the door, two things happen. One the door was pulled out of his hands roughly making him loose his balance, two the vampire was on top of him before he could catch his breath. She has her hands wrapped around his throat cutting off the air, hearing his heart beating fast excited her as she took her time with him. Dean fought to get her hands off of his neck so he could catch a breath, with one hand trying to pulled her fingers away, while the other he reach for the arrow with dead mans blood. Getting his fingers wrapped around the arrow shaft he stabbed her in the side, hearing her scream and flinch gave Dean the moment he needed. Picking up a log he smack her on the side of the head as hard as he could, when she fell to the left side of him he laid there for a moment to catch his breath. Getting up he walked over to her picking her up roughly by the arm, he was about to turned around when he heard movement in the door way. Glancing over he saw the alpha male with Sam in front of him barely breathing, fearing for his sibling he place his mate in front of him with the blade on her neck._

 _With both males in a stand off they glare each other down for what they wanted, the vamp for his mate, and Dean for his brother. Seeing how weak his mate is he wonder what the hunter did to her, seeing the arrow on the floor he put two and two together it piss him off. Putting pressure on Sam's neck he heard the young man gasping for air, which in turned make the older man angry as hell he yelled at him to stop._

 _"Stop, you are killing him, if he dies she dies, let him go."_

 _"You killed my pack, injected my mate with dead mans blood, why would I let your brother live Dean. Yes we know who you two are the Winchester Brothers the famous hunters, we know who your weakness is Dean I'm holding him right now. If you don't want your brother dead let go of my mate now Dean, I can hear his heart beating he's scared for you just like you are for him."_

 _"You let Sam go first then I'll let your mate go if not she's dead, you harm my brother you'll be dead before you hit the ground. I said let me brother go or else, fine I'll show you I mean business by doing this."_

 _Dean slice the skin on the base of her neck to drawl a little of blood, to show the male he means business on his threat. Seeing the anger in his eyes when she whimpered from the pain made Dean smile, what piss him off was the sound of Sam's cries when he bit into the flesh of his brother's neck. Seeing red Dean reacted on instinct to protect his brother he went into big brother mode, without even thinking his slice her head right off her shoulders. As the body went limp on the floor he toss the head at the man before him, as he made his advance to kill the thing that hurt his brother he heard his screams. One word came screaming out of his mouth, as he watch in horror the vamp ripped his brother throat out. For Dean it all seems like it was slow motion when Sam fell to the ground gasping for air, looking at the vamp before him with murderous eyes he rushed him with intent to kill. He waited for the right time to slice the man's throat, watching him collapse to the floor with blood flowing freely from his wound. Standing over him he looked down at him with dark eyes that showed no emotion, letting him know that was his biggest mistake he made._

 _"You made the biggest mistake asshole for hurting my brother."_

 _With one hard swipe of the blade he slice the head right off the body, standing there for just a second he turned to his brother who's laying motion less on the floor. Fear filled him as he rushed to where his brother fell, turning him over he saw scared big eyes looking at him. Taking his coat off he he put pressure on Sam's wound, only to have blood seep through the material slicking his hand and fingers. Taking to his brother he had to keep him awake so he can get him out of here, seeing the life seep away he had to move now._

 _"Sammy, keep your eyes open kiddo that's it, I'm going to get you out of here. Sam, hey look at me, come on kiddo don't do this to me, keep breathing for me little brother don't close you eyes. Sam come on open your eyes, Sam please open your eyes kiddo please. S-Sam."_

 _Dean could see that his brother wanted to say something put couldn't say the word, he heard it very faintly through the gasping of breath. Was the last word Sam said to Dean, which was his first word he said to him._

 _"D'n"_

 _Dean sat there in his brothers blood watching the light go out of his eyes, watching his last breath before his chest went still. One word screamed from Dean that was filled with so much anguish and loss, that of a person who lost the most important person in their life._

 _"SAM"_

Dean bolted from the bed taking in deep breaths as he looked around to see where he was, with frantic eyes he looked for his brother to make sure he was okay. Not seeing him filled him with fear and panic until he knew where he was, taking deep breaths to calm him down when he saw he's at Matt's place. Panting heavily as relief set in knowing that he had a bad nightmare of Sam dying, taking in deep breaths he felt tears prick his eyes. The dream felt so real to him with Sam laying on the ground dying, checking himself over he had to make sure it was a dream. Only seeing his sweat and nightshirt with no blood on them, eased some of his nerves and fears he was feeling. Sitting back on the bed with his hands on his head, elbows on his knees, trying to stop the tears that are threatening to come. He had to get himself together before Matt sees him like this all panic with fear; the dream still lingered in his mind of seeing Sam's dead eyes looking at him. Trying to clear his mind of that picture that stubbornly stayed as clear as day, he kept repeating the same words over and over again. "That's not real, Sam not dead, that's not real, Sam not dead." He kept saying it over and over and over to make himself believe it, deep inside of him he knows it's not he would feel it if Sam was dead. His mind is making him think he is from the dream, he knew it came from when Benny attack Sam he had dreams after that. This one Sam died in it unlike the others that he saved Sam from the Vamps, this one really worked on his emotions with everything that has happen. Hearing the door open fast made Dean jump to his feet, taking a defense posture he was ready to attack if he had to. Hearing Matt's voice calm his already shattered nerves, making him relax as he sat back on the bed. Hearing his friend talking to him asking him if he's okay, it took Dean a few moments to answer he didn't trust his voice just yet.

"Dean, what happen are you okay."

~~~SPN~~~

Coming from a good night sleep he hadn't had in days Matt glance at his clock, seeing the red numbers reading 8:30 am he was surprise. He never sleeps in this late on his days off from the hospital; the last few days have been very stressful with Dean, Jackson and Sam. He hated seeing his friend so torn between his two friends, one he's helping him through a rough time, and the other he's dealing with angered issues. He's glad that he at least got one of those issues handle, he's not calling Dean an issue in any way or form. It's just the way he sees it at the moment with everything that is going on, he would do anything to help his good friend Jackson out. He looks to Jackson, as a big brother would do to a little brother, even with him being a year older to his friend/brother calls Jackson. Their bond has deepened over the years of working together; yes they had their fair of arguments and fights with each other during that time. They would get into a fight over things they disagreed over how things should be handled, their way of dealing with the situation at hand on how it should be taken. They would go their separate ways to cool over after the heated talk, only to come back at the end of the day to apologize to each other.

The last two weeks have been rougher then he thought it would be, seeing now how calm he is with Dean being here and not the hospital. The older brother seems a little calmer last night while they watch a movie, but like Jackson said it would be calmer before the storm hits. Which means tonight there might be a thunderstorm, hopefully there will be no lightening strikes here with the two. Getting out of bed he walked past Dean's room, peeking in he saw that the man was still a sleep. Shutting the door he went to the kitchen to make breakfast, getting a pot of coffee going he went to the freezer to get sausage. Placing the frying pan on the stove placing the links in too cook, he put the remaining back in the freezer. Getting another pan out he walked to the fridge for the eggs, ham, cheese and butter, as he scramble the eggs he had the ham in the pan heating. Just as he was about to put the eggs in the pan to make omelets, is when he heard Dean screaming his brother's name. Taking the pans off the heat he ran to Dean's room, pulling the door open he saw the young man sitting on the bed like he's going to be sick. Walking up to him he asked in a soft-spoken voice, as not to startle him, he had to know what happen to his friend.

"Dean, what happened? Are you okay?"

Matt waited for a response from the man in front of him, not getting one he sat on the bed next to him. Placing a hand on his shoulder gently as not to startle him, he became concern when he felt the man shaking. Growing concern he turned facing the older brother keeping his hand on his shoulder, looking at him with concern in his eyes he asked again hopefully getting an answer.

"Dean, what's wrong? Would you please talk to me."

Hearing the concern in Matt's voice Dean got himself together to talk to him, rubbing his hand over his mouth he had to ask one question. As he tried to talk to his friend he couldn't get the words out, he had a hard time asking him the question.

"Matt-Jackson-he would...call if something had happened. He would, wouldn't he?""

"Dean, you are not making any sense, why would Jackson be calling for."

"I mean...if anything… anything happen he would call right...if something bad happen...he would call he would right."

"Dean why would Jackson be-" Then it came to Matt what Dean is trying to say, he was worried something happen to Sam. "Dean if anything happen to Sam Jackson would call us, he would let us know if something bad happen to him. I know Jackson he won't keep something like this to himself, specially when he knows how important Sam is too you."

"Yeah, you are right-he would call if something happen to my brother, he would call if something happen to Sam right."

"Dean, yes Jackson would call if anything happen to your brother, that is one thing he won't keep from you. I know my friend Dean this is one thing he won't keep to himself, he would have call one of us right away. Jackson told me that you can feel when Sam is in trouble, hurt or worry, do you have any bad feelings right now with Sam."

"No Matt I don't have any kind of feeling about that, Jackson is right I know when Sam is hurt, sad or worried. I had a really bad nightmare that Sam died in from Vampires, it felt so real to me especially when he died in my arms. Can't shake the picture that's in my mind of the light going out in his eyes, his lips going blue, chest stopping as he took his last breath. This dream really scared me Matt I really thought I lost my brother, can't shake this feeling even in my heart I know Sam is alive."

"That is going to be hard to get past Dean specially with Benny attacking Sam, your mind is still reeling from that and you are scared. Scared of loosing Sam in that kind of death from your former friend, it took a toll on you when you were at your lowest point. It's going to take time to get it out of you Dean, go take a warm shower to wash that image out of your mind. I'll go finish making breakfast have it ready when you are done, it's going to take time Dean that is why I wanted you here."

"Wow are you Dr. Phil now Matt-okay I'll go take my shower, sheesh you are touching this morning."

Dean smirk as the man tried to hit him for his comment, heading to the bathroom he took his shower to relax his nerves. When he came into the kitchen he felt so much better, getting a cup of coffee he help Matt with breakfast.

The rest of the day Matt and Dean just hung around the apartment, playing games, watching movies, until it was time to make dinner. As Dean help Matt with the cooking of their meal before Jackson came by, it gave the man the time to talk to Dean about the rules.

"Dean, when Jackson comes over I want you on your best behavior, I know you are still angry with him for what he's about to do. You need to listen to him before your temper goes off and fist flying, you will not be hitting my friend while he is here understood."

"As much as I really want to hit Jackson for taking Sammy away from me, it's something I can't do cause of Sammy. If he sees any bruises on him he will know that I did it to him, and my words were a lie, which they were not. So out of love for my brother I won't be hitting Jackson even if I want to, as for my temper and words that rule will go out of the window Matt."

"I'll take what I can, Dean as long as you don't hit my friend, like you said do it from Sam if not for me. Would you please go set the table for me the dishes are above the coffee pot, glasses are next to the plates, silver wear are in the draw next to you."

As Matt finish cooking the meal of meatloaf, mash potatoes, gravy and corn, Dean set the table before returning for the rolls. As the got the table set up is when there was a knock on the door, Matt went to go answer as Dean sat down in the chair. Hearing Matt talking to his friend he heard a sorry in a sad voice, thinking it was about Sam he became worry his dream came true. Keeping a close eye on the door way he waited for the two men, seeing how upset Jackson looked really got Dean's nerves on edge. He had to know if anything happen to Sammy, before he could ask, Matt stop him.

"Jackson what-"

"Dean, calm down it's nothing to do with Sam my friend, two of Jackson patients died this morning that's why he's upset."

Take a deep breath of relief he sat back down on the chair, glancing over at Jackson he felt bad for his friend. As the two men sat down to have their meal, Dean had to say something to his friend.

"Jackson, I'm sorry you lost your patients this morning, but don't think it curve my anger to you it hasn't."

"Dean-"

Matt stopped when Jackson waved him off.

"It's fine Matt, I'm prepared to handle Dean's angered over this, let's talk more about it after we eat."

Getting an angry "whatever" from Dean they all ate their meal in silence, which to Matt was a godsend he didn't want to deal with a food fight. After they all had their fill Jackson help Matt clean the table off, while Dean place the dishes in the dishwasher to be clean. Pressing the button on the machine Matt grabbed some soft drinks, leading the two other men into the living to have their talk. Jackson sat on the chair recliner left of Matt, while Dean to the chair recliner to the right of Matt. With the coffee table between the two men, and Matt on the couch, he was ready for anything. Matt started the talk telling each one what is going to happen, telling Jackson to keep it in the here and now not the past.

"Jackson, I already talk to Dean about what is going to happen here, he has promise me that he won't be hitting you. You my friend need to keep this conversation right here between you and Dean, it needs to stay in the here and now not the past okay."

"That's right, this is going to be between Dean and I Matt, not me and Jeff-let's not go there okay."

"That's fine, Jackson don't go there my friend, cause if you do I'm going to smack you in the head. I wouldn't be laughing Dean I'll do the same to you, get my drift on what I'm saying Dean."

Dean wondered what Matt meant when he told Jackson to keep it in the here and now, once when Jefferson name was almost mention he understood. Hearing Matt threaten the other man made Dean laugh, until he got reprimanded on what will happen with him if things get out of line.

"Alright now that we are all on the same page here, Jackson why don't you go first on what you have to say. And Dean you are going to sit there and don't say a word, let Jackson say what he has to before you say anything."

Matt waited to get a response from Dean before he let Jackson say anything, getting a headshake with a glare at Jackson he turned to his friend. Letting him know that it's ready for him to talk to Dean, he will keep a very close eye between the two men. Waiting for Jackson to start Matt got comfortable on the couch, he can see a lot of emotion washing over his friend at the moment. Knowing that loosing the Reids took a toll on him, which it would with anyone who tried so hard to save them. Glancing over at Dean he could see the older brother was getting annoyed, he will let Jackson take as long as he needed to before he talked.

Taking a deep breath Jackson got himself ready to have this talked with Dean, he still felt the loss from loosing his two patients. Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind for the moment, he cleared with throat as he looked over at Dean. He had to be very careful on what he's about to say to Dean, knowing the temper that is just below the surface ready to be release.

"Dean, what I am doing with Sam is not to hurt you my friend, I know what Sam is going through with his emotions. To tell you the truth this wasn't my idea of taking Sam anywhere, I had a visit from Jim Murphy three weeks ago. Right after you arrived here when you first saw Sam in a month, when I got you sign in as my patient from the infection. After I saw you I want to check up on Sam to see how he was doing, I went outside to have some time alone to gather my emotion after what happen. As I was sitting in the shade is when Jim appeared to me, he talked to me about what I should do with Sam to help him heal. Not just to heal from his physical wounds but his emotional ones too, he knows what I went through with Jefferson those many years ago."

"He asked me to take Sam to help him through all the hurt he's feeling, the hurt that another little brother knows all to well. He knows about the fight we had with each other while we were drinking, some words were said that got Jeff upset enough to hit me and walk out. He told me that we were no longer brothers for what I said, that I was being selfish on the feelings I still had for our dad. We didn't speak to each other for over a year not one word, when I was in a serious car accident and in a coma for three weeks. We tried to be brothers again even with the underline anger that was still there, we finally came to an uneven truth between us to stop the fighting. The day we were going to talk things over between us, he got a call from two hunters who needed his help. Let's just say that we both said some hurtful words to each other, to this day I wish I never said those words to him in my anger."

"When we talked Dean about what was said between you and Sam at dinner, I was angry to hear those words you said to Sam. I can see that it was tearing you up when you talk about what happen, I saw and heard the remorse you were feeling on them. I have to say it did bring back those painful memories of Jefferson and myself-I know Matt you said the here and now, but this is something that Dean needs to hear too. So he knows where I am coming from when it comes time for me to take Sam, to help him heal from the emotional scares he's feeling with Dean's words."

Jackson saw that Matt was going to stop him when he mention Jeff's name, letting him know that was the only time he'll be saying it. Now he has to get to the point of the issue that is now with him and Dean, taking a deep breath getting his mind back to now and not the past. He has to let Dean know he's not taking Sam from him; he's taking Sam to help him with his emotion that he knows all to well.

"Dean I'm not taking Sam from you that is not what this is, what I am doing is helping Sam deal with the hurt he's feeling. I know the hurt he's in right now I have been there myself, he needs someone to help him that's been there and still is there. When it comes to where I think he's ready to see you is when I will call, letting you know where we are and when to come and see Sam. I would never steal your brother from you Dean, will never take Sam from your life that will kill you and him. Even with Sam being so emotional right now with his fears, hurts and pain, I can see deep in his eyes that he can't loose you as a brother. Right now he's scared and afraid of letting you back in his life Dean, scared to see the hate in your eyes, and afraid to hear the anger in your voice. I will keep Matt updated on how things are going with us, so when you call which I know you will be calling him. That you will get all the information on how Sam is doing, when he's ready I will be calling you myself to come and see him."

Through the whole talk to Dean he never lost eye contact to the man in front of him, experience has taught him to always keep that contact with him. This way he can tell when he's telling the truth to him about Sam, needed to let the older brother know what is really happening. Waiting to see what the older brother will say to him, he took a glance to Matt to make sure he was safe for him.

Dean sat there listening to Jackson talk about what he has planned for Sam, and what happen between him and Jefferson many years ago. He only touch part of the surface of the fight they had between each other, and what brought them back to only have another fight before Jeff died. He can imagine the hurt Jackson is going through over that, since with the times he lost Sam over the years only to get him back. Just thinking of loosing Sam for good would kill Dean for sure, he can't think of living without his brother by his side. Now with Jackson taking him away from him to help him heal from the hurt, he still has a chance to be with his brother again when the time is ready. Rubbing his hand over his mouth before he said anything, he had to make sure he got his message clear to his friend.

"I don't like the idea of you taking Sammy away from me Jackson, I know it's my own fault I'm in this situation. One thing I'm going to make clear as crystal and you better listen, that no harm comes to my brother in any form. You thought I was deadly the first time we met us those years ago, that my anger was bad when I lost it those few times. Now I am down right dangerous and know how to in flick pain very slowly, my anger won't hold any bounds if Sammy is harm in any way. My brother has been hurt to many times by others and myself, I can't keep him safe from my own anger and hurt. But I can keep him safe from others hurting him; believe me when I get my hands on them they are going to feel my wrath. If you don't want to see or feel my dangerous wrath you better keep him safe, if I found out and I will that he's hurt it's over for you. I told you Matt I won't hit him for Sammy's sake I kept my word, as for my anger and threats I didn't hold back on bit and he knows it."

"I have to make him understand where I'm standing when it comes to Sammy, I want my brother back so I can fix our brotherhood. I need to show him that I don't hate him I never could hate my kid, no matter how many times he has hurt me in the past. I know my words did damage to him that's going to take time to over come, together I know we can fix the damage I cause him when he's ready. When you knew you were taking Sammy away from me, why did I have to hear it from a crazy bitch instead of you." Dean glared at Jackson with fire burning bright in his eyes.

Matt was getting nervous by Dean's anger that was building inside of him, glancing over at Jackson he saw how calm he was. He waited to see what his friend had to say to the over heated brother, if Dean made a move he'll be right there to stop him.

"Dean, I was going to tell you about the plans I have for Sam when you woke up, when I came to see how you were doing you were a sleep. I went to my office to get some medicine for my headache I had, I laid down just to relax and rest before I came back to talk to you. I didn't even know that bitch talked to you until I was told, when all the shit hit the fan it was a good idea for Matt to take over. I wanted to talk it over with you just the two of us, that went right out the window when she opens her mouth. Matt and I both knew it was a good idea to wait until things have cool down between us, when I heard you wanted to talk to Sam I knew it had to wait until now. You and I both knew if I told you before your talk to Sam, he would feel your anger you have towards me and won't listen."

"You have my word that no harm will come to Sam under my care, he will be safe with me as we help each other. I know that Cas might stop in from time to time to check up on your brother-"

Jackson didn't another word out when Dean stood up fast from his chair, getting Matt up to protect his friend from the anger big brother. He knew Dean promise not to hit Jackson but now he's not sure, seeing the cold hard eyes, stern look on his face got him worried. Jackson himself was standing now ready to react to Dean, what ever was going to happen both men were ready for it.

"You let that Angel near my brother I'll tear you apart Jackson I swear I will, nothing will be holding me back when I come for you. As for that piece of shit of a so call Angel his days will be numbered, he won't see me coming when I go and kill that fucking asshole. I need to leave can't stand looking at you right now, cause if I don't-"

Dean left it hanging as he stormed out of Matt's apartment to get away from Jackson, slamming the door hard as he walked outside. Stepping out in the court yard he looked around for a place to go, seeing a clump of trees he headed towards them in a fast pace. He had to put distance between him and Jackson as he could, if not he would have gone right back in teaching him a lesson. As he got to the tree line he looked around for something to hit, finding branches on the ground he pick one up hitting the tree hard. The force of the hit shattered the branch to splinters as it hit the trunk, picking up another and another and another he kept on hitting until none were left. Glancing at the carnage he has created it still didn't cool his fire, hearing about Castiel being around Sam set the fire hot inside of him. Taking in deep breath of the cool fresh air cool some of the fire in him, knowing that he had to calm down he took more deep breaths. Hearing movement to his left he knew it would be Matt coming to find him, making sure that he was okay and the anger gone from him. Glancing to his friend he saw the worried look in his eyes, shaking his head he didn't want to hear anything from him right now.

Saying his goodbyes to Jackson Matt went to look for Dean, knowing he couldn't get to far from the building. As he walked through the courtyard he heard hitting noises from the trees, heading in that direction he found Dean taking his anger out. Staying a few yards away he let the older brother alone to calm down, he became worried when it was twenty minutes and he was still hitting. When he stop finally Matt looked around at the damage he cause, he was thankful it was the branches and not Jackson that took the brunt. Stepping up to Dean he waited until the man looked over at him, seeing his nostrils flaring and fire in his eyes he stayed where he was. He didn't move until Dean walked up to him to asked him a question, his tone still had some anger to it but not as much as before.

"Where's Jackson?"

"He left Dean right after you stormed out of the apartment."

"Good. I kept my promise not to hit him, I had to leave after I heard about Castiel. If I didn't I would have knock him out, that fucking angel better stay the hell away from my brother."

Dean glared as he walked past Matt going back to his place to get a beer, Matt watch as Dean walked away shaking his head. He don't ever want to see that much anger in Dean again he was scared, for him and for Jackson not knowing what he would do. Following Dean back to his apartment he grabbed the beer out of the fridge, motioning Dean to go sit with him on is patio for some quiet time.

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Matt kept a close eye on Dean as Jackson talked about what he has planned for Sam, when he talked about Jefferson surprise Matt since he's been secretive about his brother. He could hear the pain in his friend voice when he talked about his brother; he knew it was something he had to let Dean know on what happen. As he looked over at Dean he could see the fire burning bright in his eyes, the flame never died in them as he listen to Jackson. After his friend was done with what he had to say about Sam, they both waited to see what Dean would do or say. He was glad that Dean kept his promise to listen and stay calm, but all that went out the window when Jackson mention Castiel's name.

When Dean shot up from his chair Matt and Jackson both stood up, waiting to see what Dean would do with the fire burning inside of him. As Matt listen to Dean's threats to his friend he became worried, he hope that he wouldn't carry them out right this moment. He could see Dean shaking with anger when he through the threats at Jackson, his knuckles turning white as he fists his hands tight. He can see that the older brother was trying not to hit Jackson, hearing him say that he needs to leave he let out a breath. Watching as Dean stormed out slamming the door behind him as he left, he looked over at Jackson who was a little scared. Stepping up to his friend he laid a hand on his shoulder to let his friend know he still there, feeling the shakiness in his friend he knew that really scared him.

Jackson listen to Dean as he told him on how he was feeling about the whole Sammy thing, he knew that Dean wouldn't be happy about any of it right now. He even knows that he wants to fix the damage he's done to his brother; he can understand the whole thing he's been there with Jefferson. He wishes he could bring Dean with him when he takes Sam, he can't do it he needs to get the young man to open up to him. Get him to the point to where he can talk about Dean without shaking from fear, get him to open up on how he is feeling about being here with them. He can see that Sam wishes he never came back to this life, he can see that he should have stayed where it was calm and peaceful. He had to get Sam out of that mind set that he should be here, that he belongs with him and with Dean not back in heaven.

When Dean shot up from his chair when he mention Castiel about coming around Sam, Jackson was on high alert to see what the older brother would do. He kept a close eye on the man in front of him for his reactions; he can see that Dean was full of fire that was burning red hot. Hearing the threats aimed at him got the man worried, he knew that Dean meant every word he said to him in front of Matt. As Dean walked towards and past him he couldn't help but flinch, he was expecting a fist sandwich from the piss off big brother. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves down on what just happen, he felt a hand on his shoulder that made him flinch. Glancing over he saw worried eyes of Matt looking at him, shaking his head to let him know that he's okay. Clearing his throat he had to let his friend know how he's feeling.

"Matt, I have never seen Dean that angry before in my life, yes I have seen and feel his anger in the past. But this, this was pure raw anger that I never seen in him, I'm worried on what he might do being this anger. Don't get me wrong I know he won't go hurt himself in any way, I'm worry what he's going to do to those hunters, Castiel and myself."

"I'm glad that Dean stuck to his promise he made to me my friend, he said that he won't hit you for Sam's sake. He didn't want Sam to think what he said wasn't true when he talked, he knew hitting you his brother would know it's a lie. He wouldn't do it for himself or me on hitting you tonight, but he did it for Sam sake to know he loves his brother. I'm worry on what he might do when he sees those hunters, I can't stop him when he seeks vengeance on them for what they did to Sam. If that Castiel did anything to harm Sam in any way, I don't want to know what Dean will do to him if he could."

"One thing I know about Dean, Matt is that he backs up his words my friend, he knows deep down I wouldn't let anything bad happen to Sam. I would protect that boy with my life if I have to keep him safe, he's like an brother to me so is Dean and you Matt I would do anything to keep you all safe. I better get going before Dean returns and changes his mind, I got a lot of do tomorrow before I leave with Sam."

"I know deep down inside of Dean he knows you won't let that happen Jackson, he's just angry and feels like a failure for what happen. Before you came he had a bad dream of Sam dying in his arms, he was really shaking up even thought something bad happen to him. I think the dream is still fresh in Dean's mind right now, then mentioning Castiel didn't help either my friend he hates that Angel. Yeah I think it's best for you to head home my friend, I need to go find our boy and see what kind of trouble he's causing."

Walking his friend out they said their goodbyes as he watch Jackson walked to his car, glancing around the courtyard he looked for Dean. Hearing some noise to his right he headed in that direction for his wayward friend, finding him hitting some trees he waited until he was done venting. Following him back into the apartment they both had some beers, sitting out on the patio listening to the stillness of the night.

~~~SPN~~~

Getting up early Jackson had some things to do before he heads to the hospital, stopping off at the office of his apartment building he talked with the manager. After they had their talk he headed for the post office to take care of his mail, Matt told him that he could pick up his mail for him if he liked. He didn't want his friend to go out of his way for that, so he put his mail on hold at the post office until he knew what he's going to do. Heading to the hospital he park his car next to the van he's taking, getting his and Sam's belonging into the vehicle he headed to the building. He headed to his office first to make sure everything was done, he had to finish up his paper work before handing off the cases.

As he walked to the nurses station to start his day Kelly handed him the keys, Tracey stop by earlier to give them to his nurse. She had the van in the garage to get an inspection on the vehicle; she wanted it in tip top shape for his trip. Smiling his thinks he'll checkup on his patients before he had to leave, they all knew that he was leaving and they are in good hands. Handing Kelly all the reports to be put in the system, he was ready to head out with Sam after they had their lunch. Walking to the cafe he got a turkey sandwich, chips and a drink for Sam, ham and cheese, chips and drink for himself. Going to Sam's room he sat down to eat with his friend, after they were done he talked to Sam about them leaving.

"Are you ready to leave this place Sam?"

"Yeah, I'm ready to get out of here Jackson, you don't have to do this you know."

"Sam, we've been over this before kiddo I want to do this help you recover, being at Jim's cabin will be better for you then here. I miss being there and wanted to go back to it one day, so why not go there with a friend-I mean with a brother will be fun."

"Can't do much with my leg in the brace, my arm in the sling, how are you going to get me into the van. I mean here you have orderlies to help you get me in, once when we get to the grocery store how will you do it."

"Sam, this is not my first rodeo when it comes to this my friend, I have help a friend of mine a few years back. I can do it all myself with a little help from you we can do it, let me go get a wheel chair and get you sign out into my care. I'll be right back don't go anywhere without me okay."

Jackson winked at Sam as he walked out the door, hearing Sam laugh made him feel good.

Watching Jackson leave the room to get things done, Sam wonder if this was the right thing to do. He felt bad for Jackson to take time away from work; he knows it's going to take a good four more weeks before the brace comes off. Then he would need therapy to help strengthen the muscles, which could be another week or more. Through all of this Jackson would be stuck doing everything for him, which will be really embarrassing for him to let him do. At least here he had the orderlies help him to the bathroom, the nurses to give him bathes now Jackson would have to do all of this. Hearing movement at the door he glanced over to see Jill coming in, with the basin to give him his final bath here. Having one of the orderlies helping him to the bathroom to do his business, after he was done Jill help him dress in his sweats and T-shirt. Saying her goodbyes she kiss Sam on the cheek lightly, she was going to miss her favorite patient that she became fond of.

Jackson walked up to the nurses' station to get all the paper work for Sam, signing his release forums and getting his medicine from a nurse. He grabbed a wheel chair before entering Sam's room one last time, seeing him freshly cleaned and dress he help him in the chair. Rolling him out of the room Kelly and Jill waited for him, giving him presents before he left the building and a hug.

Exiting the building Sam blink to adjust his vision to the bright sunlight, felt good to be outside finally feeling the warmth on his skin. Pulling up to a dark blue van he waited for Jackson to help him in, when the door open he was surprise to see a comfortable mattress, blanket and pillow waiting for him. Jackson had Sam facing the van when he put the brakes on, lowering the leg guard he help Sam to stand up. Gently and carefully he lead Sam to the vehicle before he had him turned around, lowering him onto the step he let Sam know what's going to happen.

"Alright Sam, here is what we are going to do together, I'm going to help lift you up onto the mattress. With your help we are going to scoot you across, until we can get your legs inside the vehicle are you ready."

"Yeah, I'm as ready as I'm going to be Jackson."

"On three we'll do this, one, two, three."

Jackson help lift Sam into the vehicle moving him across the mattress, as far as he could without falling off. Picking up his legs and with Sam's help got him into a sitting position, he made sure that his friend was comfortable before he got out. When Tracey and Brad help him with the mattress getting it into the van, he had them place a piece of plywood behind the front seats. This way it gave the mattress more support for Sam's weight and height, letting him sitting up to be more comfortable for the trip. Grabbing one of the pillows he place it behind his head so he can relax, leaving the blanket off to the side since it's warm outside. Leaving the door open he took the chair back to the building, leaving it just outside the door to be pick up later. Walking back to the van he asked Sam if he was okay before he shut the door, he can see that he was in a little pain from the move.

"How are you doing Sam?"

"I've been better Jackson, having a lot of pain right now."

"Here's a bottle of water and take these pills they won't make you sleepy, they will help with the pain you are feeling. Make the trip more comfortable for you so you can relax, and watch the scenery go by. Do you want the two windows open before I close the door, or do you think you can open them."

Jackson didn't want Sam to feel like he can't do anything by himself.

"I can get this one open, if you get the other one open for me."

Getting the window open he made sure the door was lock before he closed it, getting into the driver seat he started up the van. Putting it in reverse he pulled out of the parking space, as he pulled out of the parking lot he sang a little song to Sam.

"Over the river and through the woods to Jim cabin we go."

Hearing Sam moan he smile to himself he can see the man shaking his head, keeping his eyes on the road he headed towards the cabin.

~~~SPN~~~

Pulling onto the freeway Jackson headed in the direction to Ketchum, which would take a good two and half hour drive, they should reach there around three in the afternoon if all goes well with traffic. Getting into a comfortable position for the long drive ahead of them, Jackson glances in the rear view mirror to see how Sam was. Knowing how long the drive will be he knew Sam would be bored, knowing what Jill and Kelly got for him he'll asked him to open his present.

"Sam, why don't you open your presents Jill and Kelly gave you?"

"What do you mean presents, they only gave me one Jackson?"

"Open it and you will see what I mean buddy."

Listening more the watching since he had to pay attention to the road, he heard the man opening his present. He smiled when he hear Sam say there are two in the box, he could picture the excitement in his eyes. When Sam open the first present he was in awe on what he saw, pulling out a medium size Tiger Cub that Kelly got him. Stroking the cub he smiled softly at the stuff animal in his lap, even now with him being an adult he loves tigers. Keeping the cub on his lap he open the other present from Jill, pulling out two paperback books one How To Kill a Mockingbird the other Jurassic Park. Sam was shock on how she knew these were his two favorite books, Jackson must have told her even though he didn't know how he knew. Getting the lump out of his throat he had to asked the man how they knew, that he loves this two book and the tiger.

"Jackson, how would they know I love these three things?"

"When you were at the clinic I remembered you always hug onto the tiger cub, that Dean got you as a present. As for the books I remembered asking Jefferson what you like to read, he told me those were your two favorite books. When Kelly and Jill asked me what you like I told them, they wanted to get you something special before you left. I can tell by the sound of your voice that you like both gifts, I'm glad that Jill gave you the books to read so you won't get bored."

"I would have to thank them for the gifts they gave me Jackson, when you call them let me know so I can."

"I will be calling them to let the girls know we got to town safely Sam, they wanted to make sure we're okay."

"Good when you do let me thank them for these gifts Jackson, I really love both of them very much."

"Will do Sam once when we get to the grocery store we'll call them, before we go do some shopping for our stay."

The rest of the drive was done in quiet with Sam reading one of his books, Jackson had the radio on low so he can hear Sam. If he needed any kind of help he wanted to hear his friend, or if he was in any kind of pain he wanted to listen for it. I took them exactly two and a half hours to get to the town Ketchum, with it being three in the afternoon the traffic was pretty light. Pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store, he found a parking space that fit their needs with the wheel chair. He didn't want to take the handicap one since they weren't, he found one that was at the end were no other cars were parked. Getting out of the van he stretch his body to get the kinks out, walking over to the passenger side he open the side door. Grabbing the wheel chair first he got it prepared for Sam to sit in, helping Sam he got him sitting on the step. Getting him off the mattress was easier then getting him on it, as he let Sam sit he called the girls to let them know they are there.

"Kelly, is Jill there with you?"

"Hello Jackson, I'm assuming you and Sam made it there safely."

"Yes we did Kelly, we are about to do some shopping, Sam wants to say something to you and Jill. We'll wait for you to find her before I hand the phone over to him, the drive was long glad we are almost there."

"Glad to hear that you both made it safe and sound Jackson, let me go find Jill I think she's on lunch."

Jackson waited while Kelly looked for Jill sitting next to Sam as they waited; he looked around the area with a heavy heart. Last time he was here Jefferson was with him visiting Dean and Sam, he knew that Sam must be feeling the same thing. Hearing Kelly calling Jill over he handed Sam the phone, listening to his friend thanking his nurses he got the wheel chair ready.

"Kelly and Jill this is Sam I want to thank you for the presents, I love the books and the stuff tiger cub."

"You are welcome Sam have fun reading your new books, a little bird told me you love those two." Jill informed Sam.

"Yes, they are my favorite books as are the movies, want to thank Kelly for the tiger cub, you two didn't have to get them for me."

"Sam, Jill and I wanted to get you those things so you can have something to do, you are our favorite patient Sam wanted to show you how much we care." Kelly had to let him know how much they do care for him.

"Thank you for all the help you gave me while I was there, Jackson wants to talk to you thanks again."

"Kelly and Jill you two take care of the patients for me, and help out Tracey, Brad and Matt while I'm gone."

"Don't worry Jackson we'll take care of everyone like we always do, you take care of our boy for us we'll talk to you later."

Hanging up the phone Jackson put it in his front pants pocket; getting the chair as close as he can he help Sam in it. Lifting his leg with the brace on the leg rest he had it position to be comfortable, making sure the leg pad and footpad are in the right place. Seeing that Sam was ready as he was going to be ready he rolled him to the building, he could have left Sam in the van he didn't want to take any kind of chances. If something happen or if he had pain or bathroom break he won't be there, this way he can keep a close eye on his friend. As the walked up to the building he saw Sam was squirming, knowing what he needed first thing they got into the building. Looking for the rest room he headed in that direction, five minutes later they came out with Sam beet red from embarrassment.

Getting a cart he let Sam push it while he pushed Sam to the bakery and Deli first, getting what they needed both men went up and down the isles. By the time they arrived at the registers the cart was full of food, they had enough to last them a good three weeks before making another round. Getting back to the van Jackson put the grocery away, while Sam waited for his friend enjoying the warmth of the sun. Hearing footsteps on the other side of the vehicle Sam's hunter instincts kick in, he was in no shape to defend himself or Jackson. Hearing a car door open and close he let out a sigh of relief as he saw a car pulling out, he watch it as he pulled out into the street and out of sight. Shaking his head he mentally cussing himself out for being jumpy, with everything that had happen he can't help himself on how he's feeling.

Turning back to Jackson he watch his friend load up the van with the food, watching him close the door he wonder what he's up too. Keeping a close eye on him as he returned the cart he was being pushed away from the van, feeling a little panic he had to know what was going on.

"Uhm Jackson what are you doing, the van is the other way."

"Sam with it being so late I'm taking you to the diner, we'll have dinner before we go to the cabin. By the time I get everything in the cabin, get the generator going to do any kind of cooking, it'll be almost seven Sam. This way we can eat something here in town then go to the cabin, I can get it clean while you sit outside if you want."

"Jackson, I don't know if I'm ready to go into a diner like this, there may be to may people with the wheel chair. Let's just go to the cabin and eat sandwiches, chips and drinks, I don't mind that at all really I wouldn't."

Stopping Jackson kneel down to talk to Sam eye to eye, he wasn't trying to rush anything with his friend. He wanted to get Sam fed before they go to the cabin that wasn't ready for them, waiting until he got his attention he will let him know it's okay.

"Sam we are not going into the diner to sit at a table to eat young man, there are seating outside we can sit at while we have dinner. They come out to get the orders while we wait on the patio; I saw how nervous you were in the grocery store. I'm sorry kiddo I wasn't trying to make you feel that way, I didn't want you out here by yourself if something happen. I'm not saying you are weak so don't get that in your mind, right now you can't defend yourself Sam with your injuries at the moment. I asked the cashier if there was a place to eat outside, he told me of one right down the street from here."

"Sorry Jackson, I told you this wasn't a good idea with me being here, don't want you to go out of your way for me."

"Sam, would you please stop thinking that way young man you are good enough, I want to do this for you being here helping you out. You are not a burden so don't even think that at all kiddo cause you are not, I know you didn't say it in words I can see it in your eyes Sam. Let me help you through this as a friend, as a brother even, I want to do this Sam let me in please."

Seeing that Jackson meant on what he said Sam shook his head yes, seeing the truth in the man's eyes told him how much he's loved. It's something that he needs right now to know that he's not alone in this battle, that he has someone who cares enough for him to be there when he needs it.

After they had their dinner Jackson got Sam into the van for the drive to the cabin, which is only an half hour drive from town if he remembers right. Seeing how exhausted Sam is getting this trip is doing a number on him, the faster he gets there the faster he can get the place clean. Driving up to the cabin he park as close to the stair as possible, getting out he went to the place where the key is hiding. Opening the door he open the windows to air out the place, getting Sam up the steps he had him sit out on the porch. While he got the generator going which took a while to get it started, he got the food inside putting everything away in it's place. Having the ice chest he kept the cold foods in it with ice, until the fridge was cool down to put them in. The first place he clean was Sam's room getting the fresh linen he brought, he took out the mattress to air it out before he made the bed. Opening the window to the bedroom he let the cool air in, after he was done with Sam room he went to the living room. Getting the room as clean as he can for right now he got the mattress back in, getting it ready for Sam to sleep on it. He went to his room getting the mattress out to air it out, he clean the bathroom getting it ready for a shower. By the time he got the place clean for them to stay the fridge was ready, getting the food in he grabbed two sodas and sat outside with Sam for a while. As they watch the sun go down they both were glad to be here, before it go to dark Jackson help Sam inside to sit on the couch. Closing and locking the door he got Sam ready for bed seeing how exhausted he is, getting him in his bed he got him comfortable before he gave him his medicine. As he watch Sam fall a sleep he walked out of the room, sat down on the couch to think how things will go between them. Knowing that one day he'll have to let Sam know about him and Jefferson, that will be the hardest part of this recovery between them. Turning off the lights he went to bed keeping the door open so he can listen for Sam, before his head hit the pillow he was out for the count.

~~~~SPN~~~

Coming from a well-rested sleep he hadn't had in three weeks, Jackson laid in bed a little longer listening to the silence. At his apartment in Boise in the mornings he hears the traffic noise, the beeping of car horns, the loud roars of the trucks and buses. It took him a while to get kind of use to the noise of the city, even being there for seven years he really wasn't used to the hustle and bustle of city life. The first two years he was home sick for the clinic and country life he loved so much, being out there in the wilderness was his paradise that he cherishes. All that came crumbling down a couple of months after Jefferson died, being there brought back to many painful memories for him. So when Matt asked him to come and help at the hospital, he took the chance to start a new life without his brother. Now here he is working out his issues and help Sam with his issues, all that stems from a big brother hurtful words and actions.

Placing his feet on the floor he stretch his arms above his head, getting himself ready for a day of helping his friend. Standing up he headed to Sam's room first to check up on the man, seeing him sound a sleep he headed for the kitchen. Taking the coffee from the cabinet he filled the pot with water, adding the liquid to the machine he added the coffee grinds. Turning the machine on he brew the hot liquid, standing against the counter he thought on what he should make for them. As he was figuring out what to have for breakfast, he heard Sam calling for him from his room. Walking across the living room he entered Sam's room, seeing the man awake he walked up to the bed to help him. Knowing what he needed to do just by the look on his face, and the wiggle he was doing gave him all the question he needed.

Pain was the first thing Sam felt when he woke up from his drugged sleep, he felt heavy like there's a bunch of bricks on top of him. He knew it's just the effects of the pain killers Jackson gave him last night, he hates on how they make him feel when he starts to wake from them. His whole body feels like it's being pulled down by lead, his limbs take a few minutes to figure out how to move at first. The cobwebs in his mind cloud his thinking, until they start to clear from his head and brain, which takes a while to do so.

As he moved to sit up pain shot through his arm and leg, taking his breath away and vision spinning in circles. He felt stiff in the muscles from all the moving around he did yesterday; being laid up in bed for two weeks will do a number on you. The having to walked, climb, walk again, climb again, then walked upstairs did a number on him, now he's feeling all of that now on being how much pain he's in. Feeling the need for a nature call he slowly lifted himself up in bed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get there by himself. Hearing movement in the other room he knew Jackson was already up, calling to his friend he asked him for help to do his business.

"Jackson, I need some help please."

Waiting for his friend to appear, Sam waited for the pain he knew would come.

"Good morning Sam, how was your sleep? Let me help you up so you can do what you need to."

Five minutes later a red face Sam limped out of the bathroom with Jackson help, leading him to the table he got him comfortable. Getting the footstool he brought from his place for Sam to use, he gently place his foot on it to help with the pain in his leg. Getting some coffee for him a long with his pain pills, he handed them to him asking what he wanted for breakfast.

"Here's some coffee and a glass of water to take your pain pill, what would you like to have for breakfast."

Taking the pill he sip some water to wash it down, waiting patiently for it to take effect. Taking a sip of his coffee help with the cobwebs that still lingered, looking over at his friend who was still waiting for an answer. He really wanted some pancakes with sausage for breakfast, looking at his friend he asked him for some.

"I would love to have some pancakes with sausage Jackson, that sounds really good right now."

"Pancakes and sausage coming right up. Sam sit back and relax young man."

Watching as his friend made their breakfast Sam felt useless for not helping, once when his leg is out of the brace he'll give back to Jackson. For now he'll have to sit here and have him wait on him hand and foot, taking a sip of his coffee he looked around the cabin. A sad feeling came over him from the last time he was here, with Jim, Bobby, Jackson, Jefferson and Dean when things were right between them. Shaking that from his mind he didn't want to think about that time, he could feel the back of his eyes burning with unshed tears. Blinking them away he had to stay in the here and now, not the past when things were somewhat perfect.

Focusing back on Jackson who just finished making them their breakfast, he move the plates out of the way for him. Smelling the food made his mouth water for what he's about to eat, what took him by surprise to see chocolate chips in the pancakes. Brought back some good memories of him being younger making them, he smiled his thanks to Jackson for making them special for him. As they ate their meal in quiet Jackson could see the tears in Sam's eyes, his heart went out to his friend thinking back to the good times. After cleaning up they both went outside for some fresh air, getting the wheel chair from the van he pushed Sam to the lake. Sitting next to his friend in a chair they both looked over the lake, thinking of the fun times they had with heavy hearts.

Two weeks have pass with Jackson and Sam doing much of nothing since they got there, Jackson did as Jacob told him on what to do with Sam. The first week Sam's emotion did a number on him keeping to himself, one moment he will be sitting there quiet as a mouse, then he would be crying his heart out. Once when he started he couldn't stop the tears once when they fell, the sobs rack his body hard as he let his emotions out. Then he would be yelling at Jackson for no good reason but to yell, he felt so angry he had to take it out on someone. When he was done with his emotional roller coaster he felt drain and tired of it all, telling Jackson that it was a mistake of him being here he wanted to end it all. When Sam got this way it took all that Jackson had not to go hug him, telling him that it's going to be okay. He was going by what his friend Jacob said to him about what Sam will be like, he even called him a few times getting some encouragement. With his friend telling him what he's doing will help Sam in the long run, letting him know that it will be hard not to go and cuddle him.

By the second week Sam had open up to Jackson on why he wanted it to end, he was so tired of being a failure, no good person, burden to others, a disappointment to others. Jackson tried to let Sam know that none of those things were true, that he is a good person that has a good heart to help others. When he would tell him the truth on how he is, Jackson could tell that Sam don't believe a word he says about him. In the second week Sam wouldn't eat much food with his emotions running so high, Jackson didn't force him to eat knowing it would cause a fight between them. The depression was getting worse by the end of the second week, Sam couldn't stop thinking it would be better without him around. Jackson became worried enough to were he hid the knives from Sam, he made sure there was no sharp objects around. Even kept the wheel chair out of Sam's room even though he couldn't get in it, not without Jackson help of getting him into it he didn't want to take a chance.

Jackson was sitting outside in the cool of the morning drinking his coffee; they have been at the cabin now for three weeks. Sam's roller coaster of emotions were taken a toll on him yesterday was bad, Jackson snapped at Sam out of frustration and annoyance towards him. He didn't mean to say what he did he couldn't stop himself, now here he is feeling like a stupid asshole on letting his anger get the better of him. Not wanting to dwell on the angry words he said to his friend, who even through angry words back at him both tempers flaring. Those words were not aimed at Sam at all they were at Jefferson, when they got into their huge fight last night all those emotions open up. At the moment he didn't see Sam he saw Jefferson, yelling those hurtful words at him out of hate.

"Jackson, I told you to leave me alone, get the hell out of my room now. Why do you care if I take my own life, will be the best thing I can do for you and others."

"Sam, would you please stop talking about taking your life, you do belong here with me, Matt and Dean. I don't understand why you think we all be better without you, when will you stop being so selfish."

"Maybe that is all I'm good for is being selfish Jackson that's all I am, everyone been telling me that since I was little. How selfish you are for thinking what only best for you, why don't you think of others before yourself. Why didn't I go look for the people I love, instead of leaving them behind to be killed? Why do you care Jackson if I stay here instead of being in Heaven, it will be the best thing for everyone around me if I kill myself."

"That is all you think about it what's only best for you and not others like me, you are always thinking of yourself no matter what. No matter how rough things get you always want to run away, go find a place for you to be by yourself. Get over it already will you and start thinking of others before yourself, if you don't want to be here then fine hope you do die."

Jackson sat on the porch shaking that thought out of his head, the look on Sam's face when he said it haunted him. He didn't mean to say those words to his friend not at all, once when Sam said he wanted to kill himself. Set Jackson into panic mode hearing how serious he is about it, made his blood boil and he lash out at Sam big time. Right then he didn't see Sam being there at that moment, he saw Jefferson giving him that death glare before he walked out. As he sat there he knew it's time to let Sam know what happen, his friend might shut down on him know but he has to try.

Getting up he headed back inside cabin walking over to the kitchen, placing the cup on the counter he took the wheel chair. Heading to Sam's room he saw the younger man was up with no fire in his eyes, helping him in the chair he heard Sam apologizing to him for what happen. He knew that Sam didn't mean any of those words he thrown at him, just like he didn't mean any of the words he said to him. Making breakfast Jackson told Sam they will talk after they are done, during their meal they both remain quiet as they ate. Cleaning up the kitchen and dishes washed placing in the strainer to dry, Jackson took Sam outside to have their talked to each other. He had to get one thing out first and so did the young man.

"Sam, I'm sorry for loosing my temper last night, it wasn't fair to you on what I have said."

"Jackson, I didn't mean any of those words I said to you, I'm just so hurt and angry I can't control my emotions."

"I know you are Sam you have ever right to be that way, as for me I shouldn't have yelled like I did. I didn't see you my friend when I lost it, I only saw and heard Jefferson anger words he said to me. I know that don't make it right Sam to take it out on you, I couldn't stop myself once those words came out. I am sorry Sam for taking my anger out on you when I shouldn't have, I'm here to help you not hurt you my friend."

"If it makes you feel any better Jackson I didn't see you either, when I snapped I only saw Dean standing there with hate in his eyes. Hearing all those things he said to me all came back last night, I just snap and took it out on you I am sorry Jackson."

"We are both younger brothers who have been hurt by our older brothers, you still have yours that one day you'll both talk over about it. I don't have mine so I can't tell him on how I really feel about him Sam, to this day I wish I never said those last words to him. Since I open that canned of worms last night it's only right to let you know what happen, it's going to open some deep wounds for me but it's something I have to say."

Jackson waited until he got his emotions and nerves under control before he told Sam, who was looking at him with sorrow in his eyes for having him to open them.

~~~SPN~~~

Being with Matt has help Dean relax and heal from his emotions with Jackson and Sam, and his wound from Randy and Benny. The week he was there they didn't do much but hung around his apartment, Matt did take him to a few places to get out and calm his soul. Must of the time was at home spending time together getting to know each other, before they knew it the week was over and time to move on. Driving Dean to the hospital to get his car and give him his belongings back to him, he felt good that he knew that the man was healthy now. He can't tell Dean not to go and kill those two hunters, or go after Cas or Benny, he could tell him that he wants to hear from him time to time.

"Dean, I know you won't listen to me about what your plans are, I want you to be careful my friend don't get yourself killed. I saw the anger in you the night Jackson was over it scared me Dean, I wasn't sure what you would do to him or me. That anger still burns in you for those who hurt your brother, please don't go rushing in and be foolish on your hate for them Dean."

"Matt, careful is my middle name and thank you for all your help my friend, I promise not to go rushing into a dangerous situation with them. One thing about me is that I'm pretty patient to a point when it comes to some things; I know it's going to take time to find Tim and Reggie since they will be hiding. Once when I find them they won't know what hit them until it's too late, won't be holding back either for what they did to Sammy. Won't say what I will be doing to them once I get my hands on them, will be begging me to kill them right away which I will take my time."

"I don't want to know what you are going to do to them Dean, just be careful my friend I don't want to see you here again." Matt said with a wink and smile, he's just worried about his friend. "Here's you stuff and car keys the Impala is part right over there, go to the second floor it's by the stairwell away from the other vehicles."

"Thanks Matt for taking good care of Baby for me while I was hurt, I will call you to let you know that I'm okay."

"I know you will be calling me not to let me know about you, will be calling to see if I heard from Jackson and Sam. When I do you will know about it Dean I promise, won't let that go without telling you about them."

Shaking hands Dean left to go get his car so he can leave, as he drove pass Matt he waved bye to his new friend. Driving out of the parking lot he headed south knowing of a hunter who could help, he might know where Tim and Reggie are hanging out.

Matt watch as Dean drove out of the parking lot for hopefully the last time, he'll miss his friend glad that he's okay to go. Watching as the Impala disappeared from sight he whisper a little prayer, "Who ever is listening please keep an eye on Dean." Turning around he headed into the hospital with a heavy heart, his brother Jackson won't be there it made him said.

Three weeks have pass with no word on Reggie and Tim from any hunters, especially from those who have hatred for Sam. They all knew what his brother did and wanted his blood for it, all of them gave praise to the two for what they did to Sam. Until one day he got a call from a hunter who lost his family to Reggie and Tim, telling Dean where they will be at so he can get his hands on them.

Waiting outside of the bar the hunter gave Dean the address to, he hid in the shadows waiting for them to come out. He watch them stumbling out of the tavern they headed to their motel room, they were so drunk they didn't notice anyone around them. When they pass Dean is when he attack them in the alley way, looking around he made sure no one saw him beating them. Putting both men in the trunk he pulled onto the road, heading towards the empty house he pick in the middle of nowhere.

Reggie awoke with a horrible headache bounding with the beat of his heart, lifting his head he saw Dean Winchester standing in front of him. When he tried to move he felt ropes tied around his chest, glancing down he saw that he was tied to a chair. Panic went through him not knowing what Dean wanted from him, he has heard that the older brother was looking for him. As he glance around he couldn't see Tim any where in the room, looking back at Dean is when he notice the knife in his hand. He still standing tall with his arms by his side with dark emotionless eyes, the knife he held had blood on the blade dripping to the floor. Fear went through Reggie not knowing if Tim is alive or dead at the moment, as he took a glance around the room he didn't see anyone else with them. Hearing movement he turned to see Dean right in his face, with dark angry eyes burning bright with fire in them. He saw the hate aimed at him knowing why he became scared for his life, knowing how Dean is one someone hurts his brother. Clearing his throat he tried to example on what happen to Sam, only to be cut off by Dean hitting him hard in the face.

"Dean, it wasn't Tim or I that hurt Sam-"

He didn't see the fist until his head snap to the right, shaking his head he looked up at the older brother.

Who lifted the knife to his throat pressing hard to draw blood, he couldn't stop the whimpered that came from his throat. Listening to Dean his blood ran cold on what he said to the man, when he moved his heart drop on what he saw.

"Don't tell me that it wasn't you or Tim that beat, cut, whip, burn or water board Sammy, cause that is a bunch of bull shit Reggie. What you both and Randy did to my brother for no good reason what so ever, don't sit well with me you stupid fuck asshole of a person. No one hurts him without getting my anger taking out on them, and believe me I know how to in flick pain to the human body. What you two did to him for how ever long you had him; you both will get the same thing and worse from me. I already got what I needed from Tim he was easy to talk, he told me everything you both did to Sammy for the fun of it."

"Well guess what I'm going to have my fun on you both, will be getting the same treatment you gave Sammy and more. I'm out for blood and your and Tim's blood will be all over the floor when I'm done, while you sit here and wait your turned think about how many times my brother begged. Cause when you start begging and you will be begging, I won't stop like you didn't to Sammy or like I'm doing to Tim."

Dean stepped aside for Reggie to have a look at his friend Tim, who is hanging from ropes tied to his wrists. Who is hanging from a ceiling beam covered in blood and bruises, Reggie couldn't stop the flinch when Tim cried out in pain.

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Driving away from Matt and the hospital for the last time, Dean headed out of state to start his manhunt. He drove all day and well into the night before he stopped at a motel, checking in he headed to his room for the night. Stopping off at the local McDonalds he ate his late dinner before he took his shower, drying himself off he got dress for bed before leaving the bathroom. Grabbing his phone he had to make a few phone calls, seeing that it was eight O'clock he knew a few hunters that would answer. Scrolling down the list of names he came to a good friend of Bobby's who has help them, he got a long with Sam in the past before shit hit the fan. He hoped that he was still a good person to call about Tim and Reggie, they haven't spoke to each other since the last hunt they did together. Taking a deep breath Dean hit the call bottom, hoping that Bobby's friend Lance would help him in his search. By the third ring the phone picked up he hear the deep voice of the man, gathering his nerves Dean told Lance who he was, and why he's calling.

"Hello, this is Lance, who is calling?"

"Lance, this is Dean Winchester, we've met on a hunt with Bobby Singer a few years back."

"Dean Winchester the same one with the cocky attitude, that almost made Bobby kicked your ass Dean Winchester."

"Yes, that is me, the same old Dean Winchester haven't change much either."

"Good to hear from you boy how have you've been, I'm sorry to hear about Bobby I know how close you and Sam where to him."

"I'm doing the best I can at the moment man, yeah we are sorry to about Bobby we miss him very much. I'm calling cause I need to asked you some questions, it's about two hunters that took my brother and tortured him."

"So what I heard about those two through the hunters grape vine was true, how is your brother doing Dean?"

"He's not doing good at all he's really hurting right now, would you know where Tim and Reggie are Lance. I'm hunting them down for what they did to Sam, no one hurts my brother like what they did to him."

"Sorry Dean, I don't hang around with those two they are to reckless for me to hunt with them, I heard what Sam did and why hunters want his blood. I told them to keep me out of it since I'm a friend of you and Sam, I don't agree what he did Dean but I won't go and hurt the kid."

"I know Lance, I didn't agree with what he did either he still my brother, he didn't deserve what those two assholes did to him with Randy. Thank you for not taking sides on this whole mess that we are in, glad to hear that one hunter don't want my brothers head on a platter."

"If you hear anything about Reggie or Tim can you at least let me know, I'm going to try a few more hunters tomorrow. I know some of them won't be very friendly to me about Sam, I need to teach those two bastards what will happen when you hurt my brother."

"A lot of the hunters don't talk to me, Dean since I'm friends with you and Sam, if I do hear anything about those two will let you know. Just so you know Dean a lot of hunters are with Reggie and Tim on what they did, they all want your brother's blood to spill so be careful my friend."

"Thanks for the heads up Lance, I'll be careful on who I talked to, thanks for your help Bobby did say you are a good man."

Saying his goodbyes, Dean hung up the phone before tossing it on the night table, letting out a deep breath he wasn't sure whom he can trust right now. Knowing now that the ones who hate Sammy won't be saying anything, they are all with Tim and Reggie and will protect those two. Knowing that he won't get much more hunters tonight, he laid down in bed to get a good night sleep and start fresh in the morning.

~~~SPN~~~

Been a week since he talked to Lance about Tim and Reggie on what they did to Sam, what the man said was true a lot of hunters were on their side. Two that he talked to said they wish that the three hunters killed Sam, instead of keeping him alive as their play toy to torture. Which piss Dean off to hear them say that about Sam, this was his brother they are talking about his own flesh and blood. He would have killed them right there just for the thrill of it, what stop him was that they were in a bar full of people. Getting up he stormed out of the building to the Impala to get away from them, his anger burned bright at those two asses who call themselves humans.

Stopping off at another bar where he knew two hunters drink at, he became good friends with them during a hunt. Sam was at Sanford when he and their dad got together with them, they were hunting a werewolf and needed help. During the hunt they became close and would help the other out from time to time, he hope this time they would help him out now on his own hunt. Stepping into the bar he saw them at their table in the corner, walking up to them they were glad to see Dean. Asking him to take a seat they order more beers, they all got settle in the booths to see how they were all doing.

"Would you two mind if I sit to have a few beers with two good friends?"

"Dean, how the hell have you been man, good to see you after all these years." Kurt said with a big smile.

"We wonder what ever happen to you Dean since the last hunt we did, what have you been up to pal." Jason said as he shook Dean's hand.

"Been busy doing hunting trips with friends of mine, helping them out when they need it. What have you two been doing?"

"Kurt and I have been busy with jobs here and there, helping other hunters when they asked for our help. We heard that you team up with your brother Dean, where is he want to met that brother of yours."

"My brother is helping a friend of ours with research on a case he's doing, I needed some fresh air from all their chattering."

"So it's true on what we've heard that you two are no longer hunting together, you are hooking up with a Vampire of all creatures. Working together leaving your brother behind like a piece of trash, even working with an Angel how is that going."

"Where did you hear all of this from Jason and what is it any of your business."

"Hey calm down, Dean, we heard it from a few hunters who hate your brother, for working with a Demon, drinking the blood, letting Lucifer out of the cage. Some of us wasn't to happy with your blood sucking brother, he should have known better then to become a demon's whore. Why are you even with him you should have just toss him aside, walked away from him leaving his sorry ass behind you. He would be better off dead-"

Kurt didn't know what happen and how he got a bloody nose, one moment he's talking the next he tasting copper. Looking over at Dean with big wide eyes and blood dripping from his nose, he felt fear on seeing the dark dangerous eyes of the man across from him. Glancing over at Jason who has a bloody nose himself, both men have a look of what the hell just happen on their face. Facing to the man across the table they both knew one thing; they piss off the mighty Dean Winchester who's being in big brother mode. They both sat there in shock and fear when Dean talked to them, seeing that he means every word he's saying.

"You both get this straight no one goes after my brother without my wrath, what happen between us is between us not you or the others. What I came here for is I'm looking for those two bastards who hurt my brother, if you know what's good for you both you'll answer my question. I want to know where Reggie and Tim are hiding at, I know that you heard all that shit from them since they bragged about it. I want to know where they are and don't lie to me or else, I have a gun pointed at your family jewels if you still want them answer me."

"Just hold on Dean, we really don't know where Reggie and Tim are-hey I'm telling you the truth man put the gun down for god sakes." Jason held his hands out when he heard the click of the gun. "The only thing we know is that they are bragging on what they did, we only saw them once that was a few weeks ago in Virginia. We got tired of hearing on what they did and how proud they were, that was the last time we saw them I swear."

"You should be lucky that I only broke your noses on the table for threatening my brother, if I found out that you two are lying I'll be back for you two. Better not say anything to another hunter either cause I will find out, either way you both will be taking out by me if you say one word."

Putting his gun back in his pocket before he slide out of the booth, taking one last look at the two men he walked out the door. Going to the Impala he pulled out of the parking lot leaving the two stunned men behind, knowing that they wouldn't say a thing to anyone.

Another week has pass before Dean heard from a hunter about Reggie and Tim, he wanted revenge on them for killing his wife and child. He got the number from Lance a good friend of his for years, when he heard about Dean he knew what to do. Calling the older brother he talked to him on what happen, and where the two men were.

"Dean, my name if Tucker I got your number from our friend Lance, I know where the two men you are seeking for. I want revenge of my own for what they did to my family, got them both killed on a hunt for a werewolf. I'm not a violent man when it comes to humans only creatures, I know you want them so here is where they will be. I hear you are in the state of Colorado right now am I right."

"Yes Tucker, I'm in the state of Colorado just passing through Sweet Water, what town are they in right now."

"Just your luck Dean they are in the town of Sweet Water as we speak, a friend of mine saw them at a bar he's at. He just called me since he knew I was looking for those two assholes, he don't like them one bit for how reckless they are. Here's the name and address of the bar they are at Dean, will let my friend know you are coming."

"Thanks Tucker, I will get direction when I get gas for the bar, will be there as soon as I can what's your friends name."

Getting the name of the man and what he looks like, Dean stopped off at the first gas station he saw. Filling up his car he walked inside to pay and asked for direction, getting back in the car he was glad the bar was just down the street.

Pulling up to the bar where the two men were drinking and eating, he stepped inside to see Tucker's friend by the door. He motion where the two men he's searching for was sitting, letting him know they will be there for a while. Stepping outside with the gentlemen they talked about things Dean would need, he knows of a few places he can take Tim and Reggie with no one being around. Picking a place that was out of town in the middle of nowhere, saying his thanks to the man the older brother waited in the shadows. As he waited for the two men he's been seeking for three weeks, the gentlemen walked to him with some food and drink. Saying his thanks he ate the food while he waited for his prey, he made sure the Impala was park behind the building.

Three hours later the two men he waited for stumble out of the bar, they were both drunk as a skunk as they walked to the car. Both men not seeing the older brother coming from the shadows, or heard him as he walked behind them, before he knock both men out. Taking a glance he made sure no one was around before he got the Impala, opening the trunk he lifted both men dropping them inside. Getting behind the wheel he drove off to the house, he went in to check out the place first to see how it's laid out. Stepping through the door he scope the place out to see if it's to his liking, seeing a door to his right he opened it seeing it goes to the basement. Shaking his head he was pleased to see it's the place he needs, the basement was the perfect place for him to carry out his revenge. Going back to the Impala he open the trunk, getting the two men out he brought them down to the basement. Tying them securely to the chairs he found, he made sure the ropes were tight and gag in place before he went upstairs. Seeing that it was already eleven o'clock, he needed some sleep before he had his fun, knowing that both men would be out for the remainder of the night.

Being awaking by the sunlight steaming through the living room windows, Dean groan from the aches and pains from sleeping on the couch. Glancing at his watch his eyes widen to see it was eight in the morning, sitting up he rub the sleep from his eyes before he stood up. First thing he need was some hot strong java, to clear the cobwebs from his foggy sleepy mind. Quietly he climbed down the stairs to check on Tim and Reggie, seeing them still out he had time to get breakfast and java.

Seeing a diner last night on his way to the house, he headed for the place to have his breakfast. As he ate his meal his mind wonder to Sammy, he wonder how his brother was doing with Jackson. He has called Matt once a week to check up on his brother, as promise Jackson has called his friend for updates. Before he heads back to the house he'll call Matt for information on Sam, he miss his brother wish he could be where Sam is right now. His need for revenge is greater on the two hunters who hurt him; he had to let them know what happens when you hurt his Sammy. Paying for his meal he walked out of the building, getting his phone out of his pocket he scroll to Matt's number. He hope that he will answer since he's at work right now, on the third ring Matt answered his phone to talked to his friend.

Finishing with his patient Matt walked to the nurses' station to hand them the paper work, hearing his phone ring he looked at the caller ID. Smiling to see that it's Dean calling him he had to take the call, stepping into a room for a private call he pick up the call.

"Hello Dean, how are you doing this morning?"

"I'm doing okay Matt, just had some breakfast before I called you."

Dean knew Matt well enough to know he'd be asking if he's eating, and taking care of himself while on his hunt.

"Good to hear that you are taking care of yourself Dean. How is your searching going?"

"I found what I was looking for finally after three weeks, just needed some food before I do what I need to."

"I don't want to know Dean what you have in planned, I know that is not what you are calling about either."

"Don't worry Matt, I won't be telling you what I have in plan for them, you are right that's not why I am calling. How is Sammy doing with Jackson."

"Jackson called me yesterday when they were in town getting more food, we talked about fifteen on how things were between them. He told me that Sam emotions been all over the place, he gets upset, cries the next, then yells for no reason"

"Matt, what are you not telling me? What is going on with Sammy?"

Dean could tell that there's something Matt is not telling him, he can feel the fear and panic build inside of him.

Matt curse under his breath on how well Dean knows him already, he was hoping the older brother didn't sense anything. He knew he can't lie to Dean on what is going on with his brother; he didn't want to ruin or break the trust he has built. Taking a deep breath he told Dean what Jackson said to him, knowing it would be something the older brother needed to know.

"Sam depression is getting worse Dean he thinks it's better if he kills himself, he keeps telling Jackson to let him take his own life. Which Jackson now keeps sharp objects out of Sam's sight, he hides the knives and glasses to be safe. He knows with Sam being in a leg brace can't move on his own, he still keeps the wheel chair out of the room. With his arm still in the sling and his body still recovering from the injuries, he can't do much without Jackson help for right now that is."

"When Sam yells at Jackson on what he wants to do to himself, he tells him it's what you said to him at the motel. That you wish he was never to be born that he ruined your life, I'm sorry Dean you wanted to know what was going on."

With the words Matt was telling Dean it was a stab to his heart, which broke with each word he was telling him. What crushed the older brother was his own hateful words thrown at him, something broke in Dean when he heard those words he told his brother. Fighting back the pain, fears, guilt and tears the older brother took a shaky breath, all his emotions were weighing him down drowning him in his own guilt. Everything inside of him told him to go find Sam and hug the kid tight, while the other part told him to get the revenge he needs. The protective big brother won out at that moment when he thought of Reggie and Tim, he had to get rid of them to keep his Sammy safe from them. Taking another deep ragged breath he found his voice to talk to Matt, he did asked him to tell him everything on what was going on.

"Don't be sorry Matt, it's not your fault it's my fault on how Sammy is, next time you talk to Jackson let him know to keep Sammy safe. When I'm done here I will be looking for my brother to get him back, one thing about me is that I will find him one way or another. I got to go Matt I have some pay back to do with two animals, will tear them apart for what they did to my brother after I torture them."

Hanging up the phone he got into the Impala heading back to the house, running in and down the stairs he saw that both men were still out. Grabbing some rope he threw one end over a wooden rafter to hang Tim, taking another piece of rope he did the same as the first. Walking over to Tim he slapped the man hard in the face, hearing a soft grunt he smile at the pain he cause to the man. Watching as the man eyes flutter open he looked around with daze eyes, lifting him harshly up from the chair he dragged him to the rope. Tying both wrist tightly he took a knife to cut the clothes off the man before him, standing in front of him he hit him hard in the gut to wake the man.

Feeling a sharp pain to his face Tim open his blurry eyes to see what happen, as he tried to focus which was hard with the hangover. Before he could get his foggy mind to work he was being roughly pulled to his feet, two strong hands kept him standing as he was being dragged. With everything moving so fast his foggy sluggish mind couldn't keep up, one moment he was sitting the next his standing with his arms above his head. He started to panic when he felt someone tugging on his clothes, as though they were being cut off with a knife. Shaking his head he had to get his mind to clear from the alcohol induce fog, he felt a chill against his naked body that made him shiver and spike his headache. Blinking his eyes so he could focus on his surroundings, he felt a sharp pain to his gut that took his breath away. That hit woke him up faster then the hit on the face, when his sight cleared from the black spots he saw anger Dean Winchester in front of him.

Dean could see that Tim was fully awake now from the hit to the gut, seeing the fear in the man eyes made him smirk. He was not going to hold back on the pain he will cause him, for all the pain his little brother went through with his hands. Standing close to the man leaving no personal space between them, Dean asked him why he hurt his brother like he did. He already knew the answer before he asked the question; he just wanted to hear it before he taught the man a lesson.

"One thing I want to know Tim before I start cutting is, why did you and your asshole friends hurt my brother for."

Dean watch him carefully as he glared at him with hard cold eyes, he could see the anger in Tim's eyes and waited.

"How could you call that thing your brother Winchester, he's worse then the things we hunt in the night. He's even worse then that Vampire you hang around with, both are blood sucking freaks that need to be killed." Tim saw Dean flinch when he called Sam a freak, he smile wickedly as he continued. "Oh what Winchester did I hit a nerve when I call your brother a freak-"

The man couldn't stop the cry of pain that came from his throat, as he felt a sharp pain in his side from the knife. Hearing the sucking noise as it was being pulled out, made his stomach turned by the smell and sound. Glaring at Dean his anger took hold of him as he thrash against the rope, which dug into the flesh of his wrists.

"You should have heard your brother screams when Randy carve him up, he even beg him to stop when the pain got to much. Tears filling his eyes like a big baby that he is-"

Tim hiss when he felt another sharp pain to his side, this time he wasn't going to give Dean the pleasure. Hearing the older brother telling him what going to happen, he just smirk at him telling him it won't be happening.

"You will be begging for me to stop once when I start on you, when you do I won't since you didn't do it with Sammy. You will be telling me everything you did to my brother, and why would you hurt him so bad."

"Won't be happening Winchester take your best shot."

Tim wished he never have said those words to an anger Dean Winchester, especially when he's in protective big brother mode. True to his words Dean had Tim begging him to stop the damage he was doing to him, which his pleas went on deaf ear with the older brother. After being cut, whipped, burned, bruised he had enough, he told Dean what they did to Sam by their own hands. Just as he finished they heard a groan from Reggie, Tim was in too much pain to worry about his friend pain.

"P-Please stop-will tell you please stop the pain-"

"Why would I stop the pain Tim when you are begging, you didn't stop when my brother beg you to? Why should I stop when I just started my handy work, well listen to that your friend is waking up for his. Before I start what did you two do to my brother, don't you lie to me."

"We-we all had our turned with him as we-as we cut, whipped, burned him while we had him. Even brought him up stairs to have fun with him, when smoke cigarettes we would put them out on him. We will have him on the floor with our feet on top of him, we had beers would pour the liquid down his throat. Laugh when he would choke on it from the screams of the hot embers, take him to another room to water board him."

As Dean heard all the things they did to his little brother, he felt the fire burn bright in him from the hate towards them. He wanted to tear him apart right then until he heard the moan, turning around he saw Reggie coming too. Walking up to him he stood right in front of him blocking Tim from view, once when he told the man his plans he move to show his friend. Turning from Reggie he went to do more damage to Tim, standing there he imagine Sam on a piece of board tied to it. With it on a slant so his head was to the ground, having a towel over his face as the pour water over him. That imagine of his brother made the fire in him explode, running upstairs there was some things he needed to get. Coming back down with a mattress, towels and more rope in hand, he place the items in the middle of the room. Pushing the couch to the middle of the room he leaned the mattress against it, so it's on a slant before he went to get Reggie. Seeing the man struggling he hit him hard in the face with his fist, untying him from the chair he dragged him to the middle of the room. Getting him tied to the mattress with his head towards the floor, he grabbed the towel as he stood over the man. Seeing the fear in his eyes gave him pleasure he seek, knowing that is how Sammy was when they did this to him. As he was about to place the towel over his head to torture him, he had to let the man know how his brother must have felt.

"When I start Reggie just remember what it was like for my brother, when you did this to him pleading for you to stop."

Dropping the towel over his head he walked over to the sink, grabbing the bucket filling it with ice-cold water. Walking back to where the man was tied down he pour the whole bucket over him, hearing him gag through the towel gave him a thrill. He walked five times back and forth with the bucket of water, pouring it over Reggie head as he gasp for breath. Kneeling down he took the towel off the man head, seeing his eyes wide with panic as he gasp for breath Dean just smirked at him. Getting his attention he asked the man how it felt to him.

"How does it feel Reggie to be water board like you did to Sam, does your lungs burn for air, does it feel like you are drowning? Did you think that when you did it to my brother for fun, listening to him gasping for breath while his lungs burn for air. How many times did you do this to my brother Reggie, I want an answer how many times did you do this to my brother."

Hearing Tim say two times a day for five days Dean saw red and snap, the next thing he saw was Tim and Reggie both gutted open. Blood all over the floor, chairs, couch and mattress he remembers the cries and screams, as the knife went into flesh hitting bones and organs that lay on the floor. He didn't have one ounce of remorse for what he did to them, he didn't see them as human he saw them as animals. As he back away he looked at himself to see blood all over his clothes, hands and face, knowing what he had to do he went to the Impala opening the trunk. Grabbing salt, gas and matches alone with a clean clothes and boots, heading back into the basement he walked over to the sink. Washing the blood off his face, hair and hands before taking his clothes off, changing into the clean ones along with the boots he walked over to the two men. Dumping the bloody clothes and boots next to the bodies, he poured salt all over the two men and the blood and clothes. Taking gas he poured it all over the basement floor and stairs, when he got to the top he lite the match throwing it onto the steps. As the fire spread Dean walked away from the house as the basement erupt in flames, standing next to the Impala he waited until there was nothing left of the house. As he watch the fire smothered to embers he climb into the Impala, taking one last look he felt a little weight lifted from his shoulders. That was two less people/animals that would never hurt his Sammy, now he has one creature to be taken care of and Sam would be safe. As he pulled away from what used to be the house that is just smoking, he heard the sirens of the emergency vehicles heading his way. He didn't even look back when they pass him; he kept his eyes straight on the road ahead of him. With one thing on his mind to find his little brother.

~~~SPN~~~

By the time Dean entered Utah and looking for a place to rest, he saw that it was almost six o'clock time to stop and refill. Seeing a sign for lodging, gas and food he pulled off the freeway unto the exit, first thing he did was to find a motel to get a room for the night. Once when he did he walked over to the McDonalds to eat, he smile sadly knowing this was one place Sammy won't eat in. After eating his meal he headed back to his room, he needed to take a hot shower to relax his muscles. When he stepped out of the bathroom his hunters instinct kick in, grabbing for his gun he turned to aim and shoot at what ever was there. His eyes went wide when it was a old friend of his standing in the middle of the room, he froze when he realize who it was that is looking at him with soft brown eyes.

"Jefferson"


	27. Chapter 27

Sam sat on the chair next to Jackson waiting for him to open up about Jefferson; he can see how hurt and angry the man still is. Didn't help with both of them saying words that hurt the other, both brothers are hurting in their own way from their older brothers. Sam sat there waiting for Jackson to open up on what happen, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to hear what he had to say. Seeing the hurt, lost, guilt and sorrow swirling in his eyes, he was about to tell Jackson not to talk about it. Watching as the man got up walking back into the cabin, Sam thought he might be having second thoughts. When he returned with two glasses of tea in his hands he sat back down, taking a drink to wet his dry mouth and throat of the cool liquid. Clearing his throat he turned to his friend with sadness in his eyes, he knew this would be the hardest thing he would have to do.

Gathering his thoughts to have his talk with Sam about Jefferson, Jackson never felt so lost and afraid as he does now. After all these years of bottle up all his emotions they are all being poured out, he's not even sure on where to began to open the can of worms. Feeling is mouth and throat go dry he got up to get a drink, coming back with two glasses of tea for him and Sam. Sitting back down he took a long drink of the cool liquid; clearing his throat he knew now is the time to open up.

"Sam, what I am about to tell you will be the hardest thing I have ever done-don't stop me Sam let me get this out please." Seeing Sam wanting to tell him not to and holding his hand out, Jackson had to get this out once and for all. "Before Jefferson and I had the huge fight leaving us both broken and hurt, we talked about how close our brotherhood was, through all the hardships we went through together. We went out for dinner that night and talked about the old days with everyone, we miss Jim and Caleb sad about their passing, miss talking to Bobby, Joe and his cousins. We had a good time talking about the olden days of all of us together, even talked about you and Dean even John too. After we ate we got some beer from the store across from the diner, we headed back to the cabin for a night cap and just be brothers."

"We got to talking about how your dad was when I first met him at the clinic, I didn't care for him at all Sam specially they way he treated you. We got into some arguments with your dad even hitting him hard; knocking me out for a good few hours scared Jeff a lot. After that we both dislike your dad Sam we didn't hate him at all, even though we could have after all the crap he pulled. We talked about you and Dean on how we are so much alike, Jeff like Dean and you like me it was scary at times on how we were. I felt a strong bond between us Sam being little brothers with older protective brothers, I know at the time you didn't feel the same which was find by me. We talked about other things like what we are going to do, while we were at the cabin in Wyoming for our vacation. Dad had been a very touchy subject between me and Jefferson, he loved the man where I despise the man for a lot of things."

"I was telling Jeff that our dad was so much like John in his abusive ways, where as your dad never abused you mine abuse me. He never did it when Jefferson was around which wasn't a lot, since he went to college to become a doctor. When he was gone my dad would hit me while he was drunk, telling me that it's my fault that our mom died when it wasn't my fault. She was driving her car to pick me up from school, when a drunk driver ran a red light hitting my mom's car. He was driving so fast when his car hit hers, it bend the car in half killing my mom instantly when he hit the driver side. Driver of the other car died at the scene due to his injuries, when I found out I was so heart broken that my mom was gone. We were so close to each other best friends really; I could always go to her from my problems or answers. My dad was jealous of my relationship with my mother we had together, it was like he was being left out of my life, which wasn't true. Jeff came home for the funeral stayed for a week to help out, once when he left our dad became abusive towards me physically and emotionally."

"When Jeff and I were talking about how he was like your dad when he was drunk, I would tell him what our dad did to me. He would beat the hell out of me if I were late from school, thinking that I was doing drugs with my friends. When I was running late due to making up for assignment that I couldn't get done, while I was at home due to my dad always calling me to do something. When he was done he would tell me that mom would be disappointed in me, that I wouldn't get any where in life for being stupid. This went on for six months after my mom pass away in my senior year, he would always make up excuses for my bruises I had. Telling the teachers and Jeff I fell or ran into the wall at night, which Jeff believe but the teachers weren't buying on what he said."

"Jeff said to me to stop lying about the abuse I claim dad did to me, that I was just an accident prone child. When I told him that was all true on what dad did to me while he was gone, he would glare at me with hard dark eyes daring me to say more. That night I couldn't bit my tongue any longer on the lies and betrayals, I lit into Jefferson telling him that you were the perfect son to dad. He didn't have no wrong in our dads eyes unlike me, he was always the one who did everything right even when it was wrong. The only time dad never hit me was when Jefferson would come for a visit, our dad would be all nice and caring to me. Which made me sick to my stomach when he would be all smiles when Jeff was there, acting like we were the best of friends when we hated each other."

"At Christmas Jefferson came home for a month to spend the holiday with us, it would be the last Christmas we spent as a family. For the month he was at home our dad not once hit or yelled at me, I thought for sure he has change but I was wrong. After Jeff left to go back to school our dad started up with the abuse, I work hard to get my homework done on time to get good grades. I was on a list of students who could graduate early, so I pushed myself harder to get the diploma early, which I did. I told Jeff about it he was so proud of me, he came down to be there to get it before graduation. Didn't tell our dad about it didn't want him to know, once when I got it I looked for a college out of state. I've always wanted to be a doctor just like Jeff; I found one in Colorado and got accepted to go there. I left without looking back to that abusive life, when my dad found out I heard he was so piss at me. I didn't care I was away from him for good, he didn't know where I was which is what I wanted."

"When dad pass away Jeff call me to let me know he had a heart attack, he wanted me to come home for the funeral. I told him no I left that life behind him when it came to the man, Jeff was mad that I didn't come to pay my respect. I spent four years in Colorado to get my doctor degree that I wanted; when I graduate Jeff was there to watch me cross the stage for my doctrine in medicine. I wanted to go further with my doctrine to become a surgeon, found a school in Montana graduated from there with Jeff being there."

"He was proud of me of becoming the doctor I always wanted to be, I work at a hospital for a few years to get experience of an ER doctor. When a job open at the clinic I took it since they didn't have a surgeon, I love being there was so peaceful and calm even though it could get hectic. Sorry I got off track here Sam wanted you to know what happen, not my life story of becoming a doctor I know it's boring."

Jackson gave Sam a sad smile on what he's about to tell him, this will be the hardest part of this whole talk.

"As we talked about how our dad was to each of us we got into the argument, I had enough of Jeff thinking that I was lying about the man. We almost got into a fight when you were at the clinic about this, what stop us then was your heart monitor going off. As we talk calmly at first about the abuse I got from the man, Jeff was becoming angry at what I was telling him on what I went through. Told him that he would hit me with a his belt and fists; until I was so beaten I couldn't move due to the pain he caused. Jeff lit right into me telling me to stop the lies with the man gone, who can't defend himself for what I was saying. I had enough of Jeff always protecting the man I hated for so many years; I still have some hate for him not as bad. Once when the words came out I couldn't stop them, all my anger, pain, hatred spilled out in that room."

"Told Jeff that he wasn't there when that bastard would beat the crap out of me, he not once saw me as his son just a thing to beat on. You always stood up for the fucking bastard when he lied on what he did, you saw the bruises and not once asked me about how I got them. When I tried to explain that bastard of a man would lie to you, telling you anything you wanted to hear not what really happen. You turned your back on me leaving me with that sick of a human you call dad, knowing how much I didn't want to be around him. When I finally move away from the asshole I get a phone call from you, stating how selfish I was thinking of myself and not our father's well being."

"When that piece of shit died from a heart attack due to his drinking problems, you wanted me to come back to that hell hole. The one place I swore never to enter again after I left it behind, when I said no you call me a bastard for thinking of myself. You told me to stay the hell away from you until I learned my lesson, so why did you call me a few months later to spend time together. Here I thought we were becoming brothers again, getting our bond back on track like it was before which it was. We never talk about dad since it was a sore issue between us, but there was that underline anger you had towards me for him. No matter how many years has pass since his death you never forgave me, for not going to his funeral to pay my respects. How could I when I never had any respect for him as a father or a man, to me that person will always be a monster who beat the crap out of me."

"The alcohol we both had that night added to the fire inside of us, we were screaming at each other saying hurtful words. I told Jeff that he was a stubborn asshole of a bastard that was being selfish, that he could just go and get the hell out of my life. I didn't need a brother like him who only thinks of me as a horrible asshole, when I think of him as a fucking bastard asshole of a brother."

"I didn't see the fist hit my jaw until I felt it burning with pain of it, with my temper burning bright I hit him hard in the jaw. He lost his balance due to being drunk but kept standing; he threw his fist hard knocking me down to the floor hard. When I looked up I saw Jeff's eyes burning bright with anger and hate, I heard him telling that I'm no longer his brother as he stormed out the door."

"For a year and a half we never talked to each other both to anger at what happen, even our friends tried to get us to mend our bond. When I was in college is where I met Matt we became kindred spirit we had a lot of things in common, he even met Jeff once in passing he was going to class when he stop by. Jeff liked him a lot saw a lot of himself in Matt on how he was with me; he even tried to get me to reconnect with Jeff. On my way to work is when a drunk driver hit my car, running through a red light just like with mom. Jeff got the call from the surgeon I still had his name as an emergency contact, when he arrived the doctor told him I slipped into a coma after surgery. Jeff never left my side not even to eat; the nurses brought food to the room for him to make sure he kept his strength up. For almost two weeks Jeff stayed at my bedside waiting for me to wake up, the doctor threatened him to take a shower, which he did. When I finally came around the doctor thought I might have brain damage, he had to wait until I was aware enough to asked the question he needed answered. When he was done he was please to see there was no damage done, he check me over asking me to move my arms, legs, hands and feet. I couldn't move both of my legs which scared Jeff and myself, when they did an MRI they saw some bruising and swelling on the spinal cord. By the impact of the car and how I was thrown, I damage the lower part of the backbone thankfully it wasn't broken. When the swelling went down, and the bruising slowly faded, I could start to feel my legs again. I would needed therapy to regain movement and walked again, through the whole thing Jeff stayed by my side giving me encouragement. I can see that the whole thing took a toll on him thinking his brother might die, then might have brain damage, or being confine to a wheel chair. We still had issues with each other from the fight, there was still that underline anger we had towards the other."

"When I was release from the hospital three weeks after I woke up, Jeff brought me to his apartment to heal. He took me to therapy to help me walk get strength back in my legs; he was there for the whole thing giving me the push I needed. When we were at his apartment we tried to talk things through, on what happen that night at the cabin. Only to get into arguments throwing angry words at each other, we finally came to an uneasy truce not to be anger or yelling at each other. When I finally was able to walk on my own without any help, Jeff went to work while I stay at his place to recover from my injuries. He wanted to make sure that I was fully heal before he let me go home, he still cared enough to keep a close eye on me. On his day off we both sat down to talk out our differences on what happen, needless to say it didn't go over so well between us there was still too much anger. No matter how we try to talk it over it came out the same, with both of us angry and on the verge of fighting each other. The next morning Jeff got ready for work while I clean the kitchen from breakfast, he walked past saying that they we are going to sit and talk calmly. We needed to fix our bother hood and get rid of all the anger and hate, telling me that he'll bring dinner and will talk everything out. As I waited for him I clean his apartment for him, taking a shower I sat down to watch T.V waiting for him to come home. I got a phone call from him saying that he had to go help two hunters, a friend of theirs got attack by a werewolf in the woods. We got into a fight over the phone I told him that if our brotherhood wasn't that important, then why tell me you were coming home so we could talk it over. He got short with me telling me that I need to stop being selfish and thinking of me, that is when I told him I hope you die then and hung up the phone."

"Those were the last words I said to Jefferson before I got the phone call from the hunter, he told me that my brother got mauled by a werewolf. Before they could get to Jeff the werewolf torn him before they could kill it, I was in shock thinking it was some kind of cruel joke they are telling me. When one of them came and pick me up to go to the morgue, I knew it wasn't a dream when I saw my brother's body on the bed. I was numb just stood there looking at his torn body my heart broke I got sick, couldn't stop the sob that was in my chest or the tears that ran down my face. I claim his body gave him the hunters funeral he deserves, Bobby, Josh, Joe and his cousins where there to say their finally goodbyes. As I watch the fire consume Jeff's body I just shut down couldn't think about anything, the only thing went through my mine was Jeff thought I hated him which I didn't."

"I had to box of his belongs kept some of his personal things, gave some things to Bobby, Joe, Frank and Rick. The rest of his things I put in storage until I know what to do with them, to this day they are still in storage at a friend's house. I still can't get rid of his clothes, furniture, dishes or his collection of guns, I know that sounds strange I just can't do it even have some of his ashes. To this day I wish I never said those words to him Sam, it's been eating me up all these years the hurt is so strong from it."

Jackson sat there on the porch next to Sam with tears running down his cheeks, talking about it brought a lot of pain up again. Looking over at his friend he felt bad making him cry too, both sat there crying like babies over their own losses.

~~~SPN~~~

Lowering his gun Dean stared at the figure before him wondering if he's dreaming, which he doesn't think so since his wide awake at the moment. Keeping the distance between them and gun still in hand Dean waited to see what would happen, cursing at himself for not having salt or a sawed off shotgun at hand. When Jefferson stepped forward being only a few feet from Dean, he stopped to look his friend over. He could tell that Dean is different and there's something off about him, he knows about the fight he and Sam had. Knows that both brothers are separated from the older brother's actions, that Sam is with Jackson at Jim's cabin helping the younger brother. The way that Dean is standing is sending a different vibe then he accepted, the person standing in front of him looks like someone had done something bad. He just can't put his finger on what it is that the older brother has done; he can tell by the way his features are it's not good. He has seen Dean piss as hell to where he wants to go kill something, this Dean is too calm and quiet and if he were alive it would scare him. The older brother whole attitude and stance puzzled him; he had to know what the man did even if he had an idea. Keeping himself in a non-threatening posture so Dean won't attack, Jefferson had a few things he had to say to the older brother.

"Dean, I come here to talk to you as an older brother to another older brother, I'm as real as I'm going to be right now. Yes I am a ghost not the vengeful kind or the kind that wants to possess you, I am here to let you know I've been in your shoes-"

Jeff didn't get another word out when Dean lit into him.

"Jefferson, how would you would know how I'm feeling at the moment, you are a damn ghost so how would you know my feelings."

"Dean, don't take that attitude and anger with me boy or else, I do know what it's like to loose a little brother. I'm here to let you know what happen between Jackson and I, and that my brother is not trying to hurt you young man. What he is trying to do is help Sam through his hurt he's feeling, the same hurt that Jackson felt when I walked out on him."

"Now you are going to sit down and let me tell my story on what I did to my brother, this way we both can deal with the pain we cause our siblings. Believe me I do still feel the pain of loose with Jackson even with me being on the other side, I wish I never said those words to my own brother crushing like I did. One thing I want to know first Dean is why do you look like you just killed the carney, what did you do boy and don't lie to me."

"Last time I check Jefferson you are not my dad or brother, and I don't have to answer to you even if you are dead. If you want to know what I did well here it is, I killed those two assholes that hurt Sammy. They got what was coming to them when they laid a hand on him; I did what they did to him and worse before I killed them. Then I salt and burn their worthless asses so they couldn't come back, and attack Sam for revenge on me for what I did to them. Don't give me that look Jeff like I shouldn't have killed those bastards, you know damn well you've done the same thing if it was Jackson."

"By the time I was done with them Reggie and Tim there wasn't much left, I gutted them while they were still alive. Every time I heard their screams I could hear Sammy screams when they cut him, they begged me to stop and I didn't cause when Sammy did they didn't stop. I did what I had to Jefferson to keep my little brother safe, now those two bastards won't ever hurt my brother every again."

"I'm not here to judge you Dean on what you did to those hunters, I'm here to talk to you as an older brother who knows the pain. The pain of loosing a little brothers love, trust, bond by angry words, that were full of hate and disappointment to the one person you love. Now I want you to sit down and listen to what I have to say, don't make me force you to sit cause I will Dean Winchester so sit."

"Boy Jeff, even in the after life you still are pushy and bossy as when you were alive, alright I'm sitting are you happy now."

Jefferson made his point clear when he advance on Dean to mean his words, watching as the older brother did as he asked he sat on the next bed. Glancing at Dean he was glaring at him with hard dark eyes, he could see the hurt, lost, and fear in his eyes over Sam. Taking a deep breath Jefferson let Dean know how it was going to go, he had to get this out even knowing it will hurt the man.

"Jackson and I took a vacation in Wyoming for some down time and to be brothers, we were having dinner as we talked about our day at work. I came by to pick him up from his apartment that morning as we headed to the cabin, took us two days to get there since we took are time. We both had ten days off from our jobs to have fun; we haven't seen each other in two years do to our schedules. So when we finally got the time to spend together we took it, after I picked him up we stop off at a hotel for the first night. When we got to the cabin a friend of mine owned who let us borrow it for a week, we just relax enjoying our time as brothers. Took a few hikes on the trails near the place we stayed, even talked about the time we hike with you, Sam, Bobby and Jim at Sawtooth. Brought back a lot of good memories of how they came so close, and how proud Jackson was of Sam on how he opened up to him. By the fourth day being there we went out for dinner at the diner in town, we just talked about what ever that came to mind. We both stop off and got some beer to have for a nightcap to talk some more, as we drank the beer we got a little buzz going with the beverage. We talked about how Jackson thought John was like our dad; I couldn't understand why he would say that since our dad wasn't abusive. Which I'm not saying that John wasn't abusive to you or Sam, not they way Jackson explain our dad was to him."

"We even got into a fight about it at the clinic when Sam and you were there, that was the time were Sam had that panic attack. We both got pretty heated on the subject of our father and what he did, that is why we didn't hear Sam's heart monitor until it was too late. At the cabin when Jack said that I knew right there we'll get into a fight, I should have just change the subject when he started to talk. He told me that after I left for college our dad was different, I told him to give him some time to adjust to me being gone. I left when Jackson was a sophomore I took a year off before I went to medical college, I stayed around to get a job to help pay for school once when I left. Mom was there to help out once when I left, she stayed home while our dad work and Jack was in school. I talked to Jackson one day on the phone, he told me that dad been getting on his case a lot for no good reason. I told him that you two are always arguing over something, it never really got out of hand at any point with those two. I just said to him just listen to what dad has to say and stop being annoying, which he can be at times believe me he was with me."

"When our mom died in a car accident from a drunk driver that ran a red light, our dad started to drink whiskey a lot. I stayed for a month after her funeral to help dad out with the details, to help Jackson with his grief over loosing her. When it was time for me to leave dad stop drinking whiskey, since I told him it wouldn't help him or Jackson in any way. He promise me that he won't touch the bottle anymore he needed to be there for Jackson, I took his word on it since the man never lied to me before. I got a phone call from Jackson a month later telling me that dad is back on the bottle, and that he beat him for being late from school. I told him to stop being a drama queen that dad wouldn't hit him, he sounded hurt when I said that when he needed comfort. I came home for Christmas vacation to see bruises on Jackson, he had them on his right cheek and eye is all that I saw. I asked him how he got the bruises he was going to tell me, when our dad step in saying that he ran into the door a few days ago. I saw the shock look in my brother's eyes when the man said that, when Jackson was going to explain our dad told him to be quiet. We went Christmas shopping to get some gifts for each other and dad; we went our separate ways for a few hours to get them. When he walked off I notice that he had a slight limp, before I could call him back he was already around the corner. When we got back together two hours later, we went to get some lunch before we head for home. That is when I asked him why he was limping, at first he didn't want to say anything knowing I wouldn't believe him. He told me that dad beat the crap out of him two days ago; kick him in the ribs and chest, stomped down on his leg. I told him that I wanted to see the damage that was done; he waited until he got outside before he did. What I saw made my blood boil seeing all the black and blue bruises, when we got home I asked dad about them. He told me Jackson was playing football and got rough up during the game; he did tell me that he joined football then quiet the team since he didn't have time. So of course I believe our dad, since I know how physical the sport can be."

"For the whole time I was there our dad never place a hand on Jackson, he did yell at him from time to time to get him to do things. Being a typical teenager they can be lazy and independent you know that with Sam, I had to take my brother and leave the room with him. Telling him to be more patient with dad he's trying his hardest, I only got was a moody little brother who got his feelings hurt. When I left to go back to school I really haven't heard much from them, from Christmas until he graduated high school is when I saw them both. Those six months I had hard classes, exams, work and studying to do, so didn't have time to talk to either of them until I came home. To watch my brother walked across the stage to get his diploma, he was grinning from ear to ear when he walked down those stairs. I was so proud of him getting good grades and being on the master list, knowing that he wanted to become a doctor like me. We went out to celebrate just to two of us hanging out together, not once did he talked about dad mistreating him. We talked well into the night about his plans where on his doctrine, and what school he was planning on going to get it. For the whole summer we just had fun being brothers, having a good time before we both had to leave our dad behind. I could see how upset he was knowing that both of us were leaving him, told him we would be back for the holidays and school breaks. Not knowing that Jackson would never come back to see our dad, for a whole year he never came home not for Thanksgiving, Christmas, summer vacation. I would call him asking if he was coming down, he said no he had other things he had to do he can't make it back. Even when our dad passed away from a heart attack, Jackson didn't come home for his funeral I begged him too for me. He never came to say his finale goodbyes to our dad, I had to take care of everything before I headed back to school."

"I was upset with Jackson for not coming back home for the wake, but I did understand why since he was never close with the man. With it being the two of us that were left we spend as much time together as we could, when I graduated from medical school he was there as proud as he could be. When he finally graduated I was there for him being the proud big brother, we both became what we always wanted to be. When he got the job at the clinic I was so happy for him it was what he wanted, as for me I was a doctor at a busy hospital that I really love. He lived in Idaho and I lived South Dakota near Bobby, when we got some free time we would fly out to see each other. You are wondering when I'm going to get to the part, where we got into our huge fight I had to let you know how it started."

"When he talked about John was like our dad but more abusive to him, we got into an argument over his what I call lies. I told him that if dad did beat you as you said he did there had to be a reason, that you most likely started it by being a brat or bastard. He fired back at me saying that I was the golden child, never did wrong in the man's eyes unlike him who was a disappointment. How dad would use him as a punching bag after mom died, blaming him for her death since she was heading to pick him up from school. He got drunk as a skunk one day when Jackson was late for school, he told me that dad thought he was doing drugs. When he tried to explain why he was so late from school, our dad slapped him in the face hard. Stunning him for a moment enough time so dad could take his shirt off, taking his belt he wipe Jackson back with the buckle. He told me that dad beat the crap out of him that day after he whipped him, went to school the next day and the nurses almost call the cops on dad. That is when I lost it with him after hearing that, being a little drunk and piss I couldn't stop the words that came out."

"I couldn't believe that you almost had the school to call the cops of dad, just for the fact that dad yelled at you for being late. You most likely ran into the door feeling sorry for yourself so others can, cause you got into a fight with our dad over something stupid. I had to listen to your lies when the man was alive, now I have to listen to them when he's dead no way brother. If you weren't a selfish, self-centered brat who only thinks what's best for him, then maybe dad wouldn't have to hit you from time to time. But to go and say that dad beat the crap out of you as being abusive, I don't buy it Jackson never seen him once hit you like that. You were in your own little world you didn't even come home for his funeral, even when I asked you to come to help me our you didn't. Why? Cause once again you were doing what you wanted to do, not what I was asking you to do to help me out. I'm done with your lies about dad cause you hated the man, I have never not once seen him being abusive to you."

"Jackson fired back saying that dad never hit him when I was around, cause he was showing how an good father he was being. That made him sick to his stomach when he would hear his dad talk, like they are the best of friends who were getting along just fine. What really got me piss was when he told me that he's glad that dad is dead, that is when I hit him hard in the jaw didn't even realize I did. Not until he was rubbing it and I saw it turning red from my fist, I didn't even see his fist until my head snap to the left side. I was seeing red when he hit me that hard I felt the fire in me, I didn't hold back on the hit to his head hard. I saw him go down hitting the floor with a hard thud, I didn't see my kid brother at the time I saw a lying bastard. That is when I let him have it I didn't care at all what came out of my mouth."

"I don't even know you anymore brother you are someone I don't even want to be around with, so sick of your lies about my dad who can't defend himself. You went to far for me Jackson to where we can never come back from, for me I don't have a brother anymore, don't need one. You are dead to me Jackson do you hear me, you are dead to me I don't want you as a brother."

"I grab my belongings not once looking over at Jackson laying on the floor, took my bags and walked right out the door. Got into the car and drove off now caring if he didn't have a ride home, I had to get away from him before I did more damage. For a year and a half I never called him not even when Jim, Bobby or Josh asked me too, I wanted nothing to do with him even told our friends to shut the hell up. They all knew the big fight we had with each other even tried to get us back together, both of us never budge we stayed apart until I got the phone call. The doctor at the hospital called me while I was at the hospital, letting me know that Jackson got in a car accident and was seriously injured. They needed next of kin to sign the forums for surgery, since my brother couldn't do it himself since he was unconscious. I told my boss I had to go my brother is badly hurt might be dying; when I got there I sign the forums for surgery. The police came by to tell me on what happen to my brother, that a drunk driver slammed into my brother at a red light. He ran the light when Jackson was turning to go home from work, he broadside my brother's car his body took the impact. I couldn't believe that I could loose my brother like we did our mother; Josh and Bobby came to sit with me while we waiting for news. When the surgeon came out he told me that Jackson slip into a coma, he told me that my brother could die. When I heard that all my breath went out of my lungs, I went numb couldn't even say anything or do anything. As I sat there waiting to go see Jackson I went back to when we had our fight, wishing that I never had a brother, that he was dead to me made me sick to think that would be true."

"When I finally got to be with Jackson I couldn't move when I entered the room, seeing him laying there hooked up on machines scared me. I found the strength to move up to his bed so I can check him over, see the tube in his mouth that was keeping him alive I wanted to throw up. Knowing that my little brother couldn't breath on his own, due to the damage that was done by the impact of the car. At first I was afraid to hold his hand thinking that I might hurt him, when I finally did it felt so cold and lifeless I shivered. Taking a seat next to the bed I didn't move from that spot unless I had to, no matter how many times they asked me to leave I couldn't. The only time I did was for a bathroom break or a shower, Bobby or Josh would sit with Jackson while I was away for that short time. The nurses had to bring me my meals since I wouldn't move; doing your personal things is one thing, leaving for a meal was a whole different matter. I would have to go to the ground floor that was three floors away from Jackson, to eat that would take me at least an hour which was to long for me."

"The doctors kept telling me not to hold onto hope that my brother would live, I told them you don't know my brother like I do. By the second week I was getting scared that I could really loose him, I talked to him all the time, holding his hand rubbing his arm to let him know I'm here. By the third week I was loosing hope on him coming back, until one day when I was talking to him I felt his fingers twitch. At first I thought it was just my mind playing tricks with me, until I saw his fingers move just a little. I stood up leaning over him carding my hand through his hair, talking to him in a low calm voice as I could mustard. Asking him if you can hear me squeeze my hand little brother, I waited to see what would happen and he did as I asked him to. I was so excited I wanted to scream for joy when it happens, instead I hit the call button to get the nurse and doctor in here. When they entered the room I told them what happen, to show them proof I asked again and he did as I asked of him. Took another three days before he came around enough to get the tube out of his mouth, placing it with a facemask to give his healing lungs some help. The doctor kept a close eye on him for the first week of waking up, he asked him questions that he would know and answered correctly. A week later they moved him out of ICU, into a regular room which I was happy about so was Jackson. Bobby and Josh came by to see him even tried to get me to a motel for rest, I still wouldn't leave him in fear something might happen."

"The next two weeks Jackson went through physical therapy to regain the use of his legs, he was a stubborn bastard when they help him. Wanted to do it by him when he couldn't move that well at first, I had to finally get involved and did some of the things myself. Which of course got into some fights between us, so the orderlies had to come and take over to finish with his routines. Two weeks later they wanted to move Jackson to a rehabilitated faculty, I told them no that he's coming to by place to heal. There was a rehabilitate near my apartment that I can take him to, do want him around strangers being so helpless. When we left it took us a few days to get back to my place, Bobby and Josh help get my apartment ready for Jackson. When we arrived they had a wheel chair and a walker ready for him, Bobby stayed for a few days just to be there for Jackson. For three weeks I took Jackson to rehab to get his strength back in his legs, the hospital work around my schedule so I can be with my brother. When he got to the point to where he could finally do things on his own, I went back to work while he stayed at my place."

"During that time we tried to fix our broken bond as brothers, some days Bobby would be there or Josh to break us apart. Other times it was one of us walking out of the apartment to cool off, we finally came to an uneasy agreement not to fight. There was too much anger between us from past issues we had, even with almost loosing Jackson I still had anger towards him. One night we tried but fail to talk out our issues, which only lead into a fighting match with words not fists. By the time we part ways I had to get to bed since I have to be at work the next day, told my brother that after I get home we'll talk calmly to each other. Which we both knew that wouldn't be happening like the others we had, sadly that talk never came between us Dean-"

Jefferson had to pause for a minute before he continued, this part will be hard to talked about.

"I was towards the end of my shift when I got a call from a friend, he needed my help two of his friends where attack. They were on the hunt for a werewolf in the woods two hours away from the hospital; I told him that it wasn't really a good time since I had to get back to Jackson. Told him that my brother and me needed to get some things work out, he told me that it would only take an hour for my help. He would then bring me back to my apartment after I worked on his friends, I said to him just as long as I get back to Jackson before 8 pm. I really wanted to work out our problems so we could get back to being brothers, so I called Jackson telling him that I will be late getting home due to an emergency. I had to help two hunters that were attack by a werewolf not to far from home, I was going to get them bring them to a clinic by the forest area. Needless to say he thought I was making an excuse not to come home and talk, I told him that I would be home in two hours the most we can still talk. Things got out of hand we were throwing angry words at each other, then he told me fine if our brotherhood not important then go. I told Jackson it was important to me for us to become brothers again, I need to go help our friends out will be home by eight. He said something out of anger that I know he didn't mean, but it still hurt like hell when he said I hope you die. As I was helping with the two hunters getting them prep to be move, is when the werewolf attack me from behind it happen to fast. One moment I'm helping dressing a wound, the next I'm on the ground being torn apart by sharp teeth and claws. When they finally got the creature off of me I could hear them talking to me, couldn't make out what they were saying to me. As I tried to breath which I couldn't due to my chest wound, the last thought on my mind my brother and his words."

"I know Dean that too this day Jackson is beating himself up over those last three words, that he said in anger to me but didn't mean it. I know for a fact that he thinks I died believing that he hates me, which is not true at all I know that he still loves me. I want to go talk to him Dean I really do want to talk to him, right now it's not the time for me to do so not yet. I know you are going to go find Sam to heal your broken bond with him, don't make the same mistake that I made Dean go to him. Let Sam know that you still love the kid, even if your actions said it differently at the time of the angry words. Jackson is not trying to hurt you Dean by taking Sam, he knows what it's like to be torn apart by a big brother. He is helping your brother heal from those open wound that are still fresh for him, my brother is a strong man Dean I'm proud of the man he turned out to be. It's time for you to go get Sam back for get about Benny and Castiel, they can wait for your revenge on them Sam can't wait Dean. I do believe you know where Jackson took Sam too, search your heart my friend you'll find your answer there. When you do find those two little brothers of ours do me a favor, tell Jackson that I never hated him I could never hate him. I love that brother of mine I was just lost like you were and let it lead me astray, tell him how much I love that boy of mine and how proud I am of him."

"You need your rest, Dean, get a goodnight sleep my friend for your search, and you'll know where Sam is once when you wake up. Take your time getting there you won't be any good to Sam if you're half dead, stop for the nights and eat along the way to keep your strength up. If you get there looking like death worn over you, Jackson will be piss that you didn't take care of yourself once when you get there."

"Jefferson, even in death you are a pain in the ass my friend, but you are right I do need a goodnight sleep. So if you don't mind will you please leave now, don't want you watching over me that will be creepy."

"Still a smart ass I see Dean never has change which I'm glad, I got to get going just remember what I told you. If you hurt my brother I will come and kick your ass."

"Might have to take you up on that offer then Jefferson, I better get to bed have a long day ahead of me."

Dean was asleep before his head touch the pillow snoring lightly, Jefferson lean in to whisper in his ear.

"You'll find both brother's at the place were they became friends Dean."

Standing over the hunter with a soft smile on his face Jefferson turned to leave, seeing Jim standing at the door with a soft smile on his face. Standing in the middle of the room they both looked over at Dean, knowing that he will get back with Sam and fix the wounds between them. Seeing a sad look in Jefferson eyes, Jim placed his hand on his friend shoulder to get his attention.

"Your time will come Jefferson to see that brother of yours."

"I know Jim, I really want to see him now my friend, tell him that I never hated him."

"You will my friend you will get that chance."

Looking back at Dean both men disappeared from the room, leaving the older brother knowing he will get his chance with Sam.

~~~SPN~~~

Slowly opening his eyes Dean look around the room to see where he was, the last thing he remember was talking to Jefferson after he killed Tim and Reggie. Sitting up he looked at his watch his eyes widen to see it was nine, he never slept this long in his life being in his kind of job. Getting up he went to the bathroom to get ready for the day, returning to the bed he grabbed his bag for fresh clothes. As he got ready he heard a voice in his mind whispering to him, telling him where he would find Sam and Jackson. As he thought about what the words were he knew exactly were Sam would be, gathering his things he walked out the door closing it behind him. Putting his things in the trunk he got into the Impala, first thing was to get some breakfast and java before he head out.

After he finishes his meal he stepped out of the diner heading for his car, he felt eyes on him as he walked over to his Baby. Turning around he saw Castiel standing over at the corner of the building, walking towards the angel to see what he wanted from him. If he had an Angel blade on him he would be toast right now, walking right up to Cass he got right in his face demanding what he wanted.

"What the hell do you want, Castiel?"

"I know that you kill and burned those two hunters that hurt Sam, this don't make it even to see Sam Dean. I'm not going to let you hurt my friend again, stay away from Sam and Jackson or else."

"Or else what Castiel, what do you have plan for me when I go see my brother, yeah I did kill those hunters for hurting Sammy. Just like I'm going after Benny for attacking my brother then lying to him, then I'm coming for you for the reason of taking Sam away from me."

"You can't hurt me, Dean, I'm a Angel that can smite you with two fingers, I don't even have to touch you to end your life. Stay out of Sam's life Dean he don't need you anymore, don't need the hurt you cause him."

"Don't tell me what I can and can not do Asstiel I will find Sam, I will fix the damage I've done to him, I will fix our bond like it was before. You Angel need to stay out of my way and away from my brother, once when I'm done with Benny you are next in my sights."

With that Dean turned on his heals and walked away from his former friend, he felt the fire burning bright in him he wanted to hit something. Getting into his car he looked over at the building to see Cas gone, knowing where he had to go he headed in the direction of Jim's cabin.

Cas appeared at the cabin to talk to Sam about Dean, telling him something that would do a lot of damage. That will set the ball in motion with an anger big brother, who will be seeking revenge and death on the Angel.

TBC


	28. Chapter 28

After listening to Jackson about what happen between him and Jefferson, Sam felt so numb at what he heard about them. Thinking back when he was just fifteen years old and at the clinic, he saw how close the two brothers was. They were so much like him and Dean in every way when it came to their bond, both set of brother's were so close that nothing could break them apart. Now fifteen years later two younger brothers are broken, one older brother is angry as hell, the other is no longer here. Glancing over at Jackson he wish he could go over there and give him a hug, with his arm in the sling and leg in a brace it was hard to do so. The older man had his face in his hands with his shoulders shaking with sobs, Sam couldn't stop the tears from coming over the hurt he cause for him. He knew that Jackson had to get it out on what happen, he wasn't expecting for it to be so damn familiar to what he's going through. Now here's two younger brothers crying from the pain and lost of the older brother, yes Dean is still alive yet there's so much loss and pain between them. Sam let Jackson get all the pent up emotions out through his tears, when he's done it's only fair to let him know how he's feeling.

Jackson sat there after talking with Sam crying his heart and eyes out, with all the emotions he had buried so deep finally came to the surface. Like a damn breaking letting all the water rushing right through, once when he started he couldn't stop the tears that kept coming. He didn't have to look over at Sam to see how he's doing; he could hear the man breath hitching as he tried to get his emotion under control. All the hurt he had locked away came back to him full force, as it all rammed into his chest like waves to the shore. He wasn't sure how long he sat there crying his eyes out like a baby, all the lost he felt came back full force over Jefferson. When he finally got himself under control enough to look at Sam, what he saw broke his heart in two to hear and see the pain of lost in the man. Taking deep breaths to rein in his own emotion he had to talk to Sam, clearing his throat he wasn't sure how his voice would sound like.

"Sam-I'm sorry to cause you so much pain, it wasn't my attention to do so."

He wasn't sure if he said it loud or clear enough to be heard, his voice sounded so raw and horse.

"Jackson, you didn't cause me any pain it's me who is causing the pain, wasn't my attentions to cause you so much-I didn't mean to man."

"Sam it was my choice to tell you about Jefferson and I on what we went through friend, it's something that I should have dealt with so many years ago. I've been so hurt and lost without my older brother with what happen between us, I've kept it so buried when I should have let it all go those first few months."

"I didn't want to deal with the pain of hearing my brother voice in my head, saying how awe full of a brother I was to him. How much of a disappointment failure I was in his eyes after what I said, watching the flames burn his body I heard his voice telling me these things. Knowing how true they were made me feel like a horrible person, so I left the clinic to work with Matt to leave all that behind me. Like the say you can't out run your past no matter how hard you try to, no matter how hard I tried couldn't get rid of the feeling of a failure."

"You are not the only one who feels like a failure Jackson believe me, my whole life has been a failure after failure. Never could do anything right or perfect for my dad no matter how hard I tried, was never good enough for him even when I put my all into it. Even Dean at times would look at me like I'm a failure growing up, especially when my dad and I got into fights yelling at each other. Dean was always there for me never let me feel like that; he would comfort me when I would asked him if I'm a failure to him. He would tell me that I'm not a failure no matter what dad said about me, of course I believe in everything he said when I was younger. Once when I reach teenager stage we did get into some fights with each other, which is normal for siblings to do so we always made up after wards."

"Even getting back together after I left collage after Jessica's death, we had to learn to be brothers again work on our brotherhood. When I was taken to a old town were the Yellow Eye Demon had special children, I knew Dean would be looking for me to get me back to him. After fighting with one of the boys that were there, I was hurt when I heard Dean calling my name I felt relief he found me. The one boy stabbed me in the back and I died in Dean's arms, he made a deal with a crossroad Demon to get me back. He had a one year deal which I was really upset about when I found out, I tried to break it finding out I couldn't or I'll die again for good. I watch him being torn apart my Lilith's hell hound to come for his soul, I watch the light go out of his eyes as I cried over his body. I swore vengeance against Lilith to kill her for taking Dean, I tried to sell my soul to get Dean free from hell no one would do it. A Demon name Ruby who tried to get me to work with her at first, she was sent back to hell by Lilith. She got out some how and found me to help me get my revenge, I got hook on her blood to make me strong to kill the bitch. Dean showed up with Bobby after Castiel got him out of hell, I was so excited to have Dean back with me being brothers. I couldn't let Ruby go I needed her to get pay back on Lilith, when I finally killed that bitch I let Lucifer free from his cage. I was a pawn in letting Lucifer out by the Angels, so they could have their great battle they wanted between them. Dean was the one who open the first seal, I was the one who open the last of the seals for their game."

"This put a big rift between Dean and I that I choose a Demon over my own brother, I tried to make it up to him he wanted nothing to do with me. I couldn't blame him since I mess everything up between us, we even separated for a time going different ways. I called Dean when I found out I was the vessel for Lucifer, I needed my big brother to help me deal with what I found out. He said no we needed to stay apart from each other, this way they can't use us against the other if we are not together. Few days has pass and Dean called me to get back together, I didn't know what change his mind by I was happy we did. I found out why he called me back to him was cause of Lucifer; he saw the future and what I would become. Needless to say I did except Lucifer in but to take him back to hell, which I finally did jump into the pit with him riding me."

"I got out of hell knowing that I was different felt stronger had no kind of feelings, I didn't get Dean until a year of being above ground. We got back together I didn't feel a connection with him; we did do some hunts together with my mom's family. Then came the Vampire hunt we did and I let the leader turned Dean, knowing we could used Dean as a way to get into the nest. We did have a cure to turned him back Samuel had it, he wanted to turned Dean back I told him to wait let's find the nest first. When we got Dean back he saw in a vision that I stood by watching, I had a smirk when the leader fed Dean his blood. After that he had a hard time trusting me since I let that to happen, he almost killed Lisa and Ben when he was a Vampire. When a Goddess got us she could get people to give her the truth, that's when I found out that Dean wanted to get rid of me. When she tried it she couldn't read me thoughts saying there's something wrong, Dean beat the crap out of me after we killed her he was afraid of me. That is when Cas felt for my soul, which I didn't have, it was left in the cage with Lucifer and Michael. Dean wanted my soul back so he made a deal with Death, which I tried to break for almost killing Bobby."

"After Bobby died Dean was on the hunt for the Leviathan name Dick Roman, the man who murder our friend, father and mentor. I was going through crap with seeing vision of Lucifer after Cas took the wall down, and he took all the madness out of my mind since he felt he did it. When we found Dick and knew how to kill the bastard, Dean stabbed him in the neck when he exploded my brother and Cas were gone. I was left alone without my family the only Winchester left, I couldn't take it anymore and I left hunting behind me. I know Dean thinks I didn't look for him but I tried to find him, no Demons would talk or the Angels wouldn't tell me either. So I tried to kill myself knowing how piss Dean would be about his car, that's when I hit a dog and found Amelia who helped me. We both lost a loved one was together for a year, she found out her husband was alive so I left to give them space. That's when I got a phone call from Dean meeting him at Rufus cabin having a happy reunion, until Dean found out I didn't looked for him then shit hit the fan. We came across a curse penny case that Dean got a hold of, he told me all about my failures and choices almost killed me. After that he had a hard time having me work with him, he called in Benny his new brother that he can trust. I was pushed aside not to be with Dean on hunts, he left me alone at the motel to look for cases to do. I tried to talk to him a few times only ends up with me reeling, from the hate I kept getting from him and his hateful words. It got so bad Jackson that I thought of killing myself after that fight we had, I didn't see any use of being around with him and his new brother. I was in the way of his freedom, which he wanted so much, when Benny attacked me, Dean kicked me out thinking I tried to kill him. The rest you know about since you saw how I looked, even now I wonder why I'm even here not back in heaven."

"Sam, you belong here with me with Dean with Matt we need you kiddo, don't think that we all would be better without you that's not true. Sam Dean don't hate you believe me on this he don't, I saw his true emotions before you guys talked. I even saw them when I went to Matt's house for dinner to talk to Dean, he loves you Sam he could never hate you like you think he does."

"Jackson, I know what you are trying to do my friend it won't work, he really does hate me he said it himself. He wishes that I was never to be born that he should have never made that deal, that's not from a brother who loves me that's a brother who hates me. After I came back you fought for me to stay with you, never let me down you kept me going when I wanted to give it all up. The only thing Dean has done the last four months was to shot me down, say hurtful words, telling me that Benny has been more of a brother then me. Does that sound like a brother who loves his little brother, I don't think so he'll be happy if I take myself out of this life."

"Sam don't you say that, don't you dare say that you are not worth to be here, you are my friend who I care for very deeply like a brother. I fought to keep you here when I knew you wanted to die, even now you want to go and off yourself just like that. Let me tell you young man it won't be happening on my watch, you are a very loved man Sam Winchester by me, Dean, Matt, Jill and Kelly. If I ever hear you say that again you want to die, mark my word you damn moron I will kick your ass into next week."

Jackson said in an angry tone to let Sam know he means business on this matter, didn't even faze him when Sam flinch from the anger tone he held. He had to get Sam's mindset in the here and now that he is wanted, even with the hurtful words Dean said to him his brother still loves him. He had to say what was coming up next, he didn't care if it made Sam mad or hurt him deeply. Right now he's past caring on Sam's feelings, his anger was stronger then what Sam will feel afterward.

"You are a very selfish person Sam Winchester thinking only what's best for you, when you get your little feelings hurt he want to hid. You rather go into your own little world were you won't be hurt, your own safe little world that no-one is allowed to enter. Guess what Sam that world no longer exists so you need to get out of it now, the world I live in is a whole lot different then your own world you want. So what Dean said those horrible words to you Sam in anger, he had ever right to say them he felt abandon by his own family. How would you feel if you were in Dean's shoes Sam when you got back, finding out that your own flesh in blood brother never looked for you? Or that he choose a Demon over him to get revenge, or drink Demon blood to get strong and powerful to kill the first Demon. Letting Lucifer free cause he was weak for one moment in his life, that he made wrong choices after another thinking he was doing the right thing. This world is not about you Sam it's about all of us who cares, who fought to keep you alive when you wanted to end it all. Do me a favor Sam Winchester when you are done having your own pity party, let me know I'll come back and bring you inside. Until then I can't sit here with you I have to leave before I do something, something that I might regret later but not now."

With that Jackson got up walking into the cabin slamming the door shut, leaning against the wood he took a deep breath to rein in his anger. It felt good for him to get the words out that he was feeling about Sam, he had to get him to realize how wrong he is on his thinking. Pushing himself away from the door he glances out the window, he could see that Sam was very angry at what he said to him. Glaring at the man in the chair he stepped away from the window, there was something he had to do to keep his mind busy.

Listening to Jackson yell at him took Sam by surprise at first, then when he said those things about Dean struck a cord. He felt anger build inside his chest towards his friend on his words, they were meant to hurt and they did hurt deep in him. Even with him shaking with anger towards his friend he knew it was the truth, if he was in Dean's shoes he would been feeling the same way. Saying those hurtful words to his own brother in anger, he would have been feeling the same way Dean has been feeling. To hear all of that coming from a friend made it more real to Sam, that his fire was burning bright not at Jackson but at himself. He wanted to go run to get away from the pain that he's feeling, go to a place were he could feel peace and be calm by himself. Then the words Jackson said to him about his own little world shocked him, he was telling the truth on that part of Sam's life were he wanted his own world. A place he could feel like he's not a failure son, brother or friend to anyone, a place he had of his own that no one was allowed in. Closing his eyes he knew Jackson was right he is a selfish person, who only wants what he think his life should be like by himself.

Sam wasn't sure how long he sat out on the porch when Jackson stepped outside, with car keys in hand to go to town for groceries. Glancing over at the man who not once looked his way as he walked down the steps, Sam needed to talk to his friend even with the anger he still has for him. Clearing his throat to get Jackson attention before he got to the van, seeing him stop he glance over his shoulder at Sam. Seeing the fire still burning in his eyes he had to be careful on what he says to him, licking his lips he had to keep his temper in check.

"Jackson, what you said to me hurt me more then you'll ever know, it made me anger to hear you throw all my mistakes at me. You are right if I was in Dean's shoes I would feel like he is, that my own brother left me for dead not even caring. You need to know some things that happen the first few months of Dean being gone, right now I'm really piss off at you I need to calm down. I know it might not be a good idea of us being in the same vehicle, will it be okay I come with you to town so we can cool our fire."

Sam waited to see what Jackson would do on his request to go with him, when Jackson didn't move for sometime he thought he would leave. There was nothing he could do if he drove off then to just sit there; he hated to feel helpless like he is at the moment due to his injuries. When he saw him walking over to him he was on high alert, Jackson walked up to him in an angry stride roughly grabbing the wheel chair. Going to the steps he stop to help Sam out of the chair and down the steps, this time round he wasn't being so gentle like the last time. Getting Sam to the van Jackson open the door leaning him on the mattress, Sam waited for his friend to help him in he brace himself for rough handling. As he expect Jackson did get him in with more force then he had to, but not to much to where it would hurt Sam. Getting himself comfortable for the ride he waited on his friend, while he went to get the wheel chair to put it in the van.

Jackson stop when Sam called to him turning to look at his friend, his eyes still burning with fire from his anger. His anger was just as strong as Sam's was maybe even more at the moment; he stood for a long time before he moved towards the man. Getting him into the van Jackson didn't do it gently at all; he shoved the wheel chair in before slamming the door hard as he shut it. Walking around the vehicle he got into the driver seat, starting up the van he headed into town without saying a word.

The drive into town was a quiet one between the two men inside the vehicle; the only noise that was heard was the growl of Sam's stomach. Jackson heard the sound coming from the man behind him; first stop will be the diner for some lunch before they went shopping. Pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store, Jackson found a spot close to both buildings before he got out. Getting Sam out of the van in to the chair, he headed for the diner first finding a table outside to eat. After their meal they headed to the grocery store, once inside Jackson took off Sam's sling from his arm before walking away. Turning to the confused man Jackson motioning him to follow, he will let him know why he did it.

"Sam, the sling could have come off last week after your therapy, I kept it on so you wouldn't do anything stupid."

At first Sam felt his anger grew again on what he just found out, he swallow it cause he knew Jackson was right. Moving himself towards the bakery he looked over the breads, cakes, pies and rolls, spying a pecan pie on the table he felt sharp pain in his heart. Dean loves pecan pie it's one of his favorite pies in the world, he normal don't get cause of Sam's allergies to nuts. Moving to the other tables Sam got bread, rolls and a cherry pie, going to Jackson he help Sam put them in the basket. Jackson saw the look in Sam's eyes when he spotted the pie on the table, he was thinking of Dean when his eyes teared up. Through most of the shopping Sam pushed himself around the store, when Jackson notices he was getting tired he pushed him the rest of their shopping.

Getting Sam and the groceries into the van to head back to the cabin, he heard his cell phone ringing from his pocket. Taking it out he looked at the caller id seeing it was Matt, he smile to himself it's been awhile since he talked to his friend. Opening his phone he started to talked to the man, he had to smile when Matt notice something was wrong.

"Hey Matt, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing good Jackson, what's the matter you sound off?"

"Short version is that Sam and I got into a fight earlier leaving both of us angry, we just finished shopping and are heading back to the cabin."

"There's more to it then you are telling me I can tell Jackson, that's not why I'm calling my friend. I have four days off wanted to come up and visit you and Sam; I will be packing on Thursday to get ready if that is okay. I know it's Monday just wanted to call early to see if it's okay to come."

"That would be great Matt need someone else to look at besides Sam, and the same goes for him with me. When do you plan on coming up my friend?"

"I'll be leaving on Friday morning early to be there by breakfast, it only takes an hour and a half right."

"Yes it does Matt depends on traffic too my friend, leave early enough to beat the traffic there and here."

"I planned on leaving around five thirty or six to beat the traffic here, should be at the cabin by eight is that too early."

"That will be fine Matt we'll be up waiting for you, let me give you the direction to get to the cabin."

Giving his friend the directions for the cabin when he comes down, Jackson got into the van heading back to the cabin. Once when they got back he got Sam inside before getting the food, getting everything put away he sat down to talk to Sam.

~~~SPN~~~

Taking his time to get to Jim's cabin Dean knew it will take him at least three days, he knew Jefferson was right he should take it slow and easy. Stopping off early at night get a good night sleep for the long ride, getting up late to get some breakfast before heading back on the road. Deep inside Dean just wanted to get there now to talk to Sam, but he's only human and it won't do him good if he drops from exhaustion. His first stop would have been in Utah just over the state line, when he got a phone call from a former hunter about Benny. Letting Dean know he's in Grand Junction Colorado at a bar just as you entered town, heading back he went to have a talked to his former hunter. He's not sure if he could trust him since they left in bad terms, they got into a fight over him saying bad things about Sam. Arriving at the bar Dean saw the man in the back of the bar, walking up to the table he sat down to talked.

"Nice to see you again Dean, how have you been friend."

"One thing Tom we are not friends never have been, secondly I'm not here for small talk so tell me your news."

"I see that you are still the same old Dean all business with no room for fun."

"I don't have time for your crap Tom what do you know about Benny."

"Fine, I heard through the grape vine that the Vampire is attacking other hunters, he's looking for your little brother Sam. So far he has killed three hunters that didn't give him what he wanted, like they even knew where your Demon whore brother is at."

"What your damn fucking mouth Tom, when it comes to my brother, no-one talks to him like that and lives to tell about it. What do you know?"

Dean said in a low and dangerous voice, letting Tom know he means business.

"The Vampire knew they were looking for Sam to kill him, Benny asked them if they knew where your brother is. When he didn't get his answer he ripped their throats out for the fun of it, other hunters are angry on what happen and wants your and yours brother blood."

"I or Sam have nothing to do with Benny being a rogue Vampire who's out for blood, when I do find him he will be toast for what he did."

"I know where he is Dean he's two states over hiding like a scared animal, he knows there are hunters out for his blood."

Dean thought about it for just a second of going after Benny to kill him, then Jefferson words came to his mind loud and clear.

"I don't have time to go hunt for Benny right now Tom have more important things I have to do, tell those hunters to ripped that bastard apart for killing those hunters."

With that Dean got up and left the building heading to the Impala, before getting in he had a feeling someone was watching him. Glancing around he saw no-one around the area were he parked the car, shaking it off as being a little leery of hunters he pulled out of the parking lot. He drove around the town to make sure he wasn't being followed, before he head out of the state of Colorado into Utah for some good sleep.

Finding the first fast food place Dean got his dinner before heading to the nearest motel, eating his meal, taking his shower, he laid down for a good night sleep. Listening to the news he dosed off just as the reporters reported a killing, at the same bar Dean came from with Tom being the victim.

Waking up the next day Dean looked at the clock next to the bed, he couldn't believe it was two in the afternoon. Knowing that it's too late to leave to go see Sam he will wait until tomorrow, he'll just hang around the town for some sight seeing.

~~~SPN~~~

Sam sat in the chair while Jackson put the groceries away in their proper place, he wanted to help to put things away but he knew he didn't have the strength yet. Sitting their waiting for Jackson he thought about Matt coming up for a visit, he like the man very much reminds him of Jefferson in some ways. He won't tell that to Jackson that Matt reminds him of his brother, there's still to much hurt coming from the man. Backing up the chair he headed into the living room to the couch, putting the brakes on he tried to lift himself up. With his left arm in the sling he didn't have much strength in it yet, it was hard for him to lift himself up out of the chair. Feeling hands on his arm helping him stand and move to the couch, settling down he waited for his friend to sit across from him. Seeing that his friend was waiting for him to talk, Sam cleared his throat to let Jackson know what happen.

"I'm going to let you know some things I have done when Dean disappeared, some of it will be hard to talked about, while others will be hard to hear on what I did."

Jackson watch as Sam tried but fail to get to the couch by himself, walking over he help his friend to sit down on the sofa. Going to the chair he sat across from his friend waiting for him to talk, hearing some of the things Sam had said he wasn't sure if he wants to hear it.

"After Dean stabbed Dick Roman in the neck and exploded right in front of us, when I open my eyes Dean and Castiel was no where in sight. I looked around the place to see if I could find them, with so many Leviathans still around I knew I had to get out of their. I don't know how long I drove before I found an hotel for the night, once inside all the adrenaline and fear I felt drain from me. Sliding down the door until I was sitting on the floor, don't know how long I sat there stunned at what happen. Couldn't get my mind around the fact my brother was gone, all my thoughts were swirling in my head like a tornado. The room was spinning so fast my stomach started to turn inside out, making me feel sick so I got up and ran to the bathroom. After I threw up in the toilet I took a hot shower to wash Dick's blood off of me, once when I sat on the bed looking over at what should be Dean's bed. Is when it all came to me that I lost my brother; I couldn't stop the tears once when they started to fall. I cried myself to sleep the first night of loosing him, I don't remember falling asleep or laying down in bed."

"For two days I sat on that bed not moving out of grief and heart ache, I was so numb I couldn't feel a thing. I glance over expecting Dean to be there to comfort me of my fears, when he wasn't I became anger that I lost my brother. Something inside of me snap and I became a monster set on revenge, I was going to do what ever it took to get Dean back. I became something that I never thought I could become a monster, I didn't care how many Demons or Angels I tortured or killed I needed information. They couldn't or didn't want to tell me where Dean was, or how I could get back my brother to me."

"For three months I became this monster that didn't hold back any kind of pain, I gutted, shredded, maimed and torture all creatures I got a hold of. Got to a point where I was enjoying killing every filthy creature I could find, didn't even care if I was loosing my soul with each kill I did. One day I took a good look in the mirror at myself, what I saw looking back scared the crap out of me. I saw a monster worse then any Demon we encounter, I didn't even see myself in the reflection anymore that scared me. I knew this is what Dean didn't want me to become was a monster; had to get away from what I saw in that mirror. Walking into the bedroom I felt like I was going to drown right then and there, I had to get out of that room and take myself out. I don't remember of leaving the room or getting into the car, all I remember was driving down the road at a high speed. When I saw signs saying to slow down do to curves I didn't, I sped up not slowing down once when I hit the first curve. I was so intent to end it all on that road, until I saw a blue, black white thing run across the road. I swerve trying to not hit what ran out in front of me, knew I didn't when I heard a sickening thud before I slammed on the brakes. When I got out I saw a dog lying on the side of the road, was going to get back in the car to finish what I started. When I heard the whines, cries of the hurt dog my heart broke for the animal, got it in the car found the nearest vet to get it help. That is when I first met Amelia she was the veterinarian at the animal hospital, she was a women rough around the edges at first when we met. As the days, weeks and months went by, we became close live together and fell in love with each other."

"Even having the love, warmth and gentleness of her around me, the whole in my heart and soul wouldn't heal. That part of me still miss my brother who wasn't there to enjoy my happiness, well if that is what you want to call it. Having her in my life have helped heal some of the lost I had, the big part wouldn't heal cause I didn't have Dean there. Is she didn't come into my like at that point Jackson of my life, I wouldn't be here right now talking to you if it wasn't for her. I have lost so much of myself from the grief of loosing Dean, I couldn't find my way back from that even with Amelia being there for me."

"When she found out her husband was alive who she thought he was dead, I knew I had to leave her to give back what she lost. Didn't know where I would go just knew it had to be far away from her, she deserves the happiness more then I could give her Don could. When I was on my own again for a few weeks, I got a phone call when I saw the caller id I was shock and numb. I went to Rufus cabin to met up with my brother, I was so happy to have him back in my life again I wasn't alone anymore. Once he found out what I didn't do we got into a fight, it kept getting worse with the fights and angry words. I tried to talk to Dean he kept shooting me down with his words, he wouldn't listen to anything I had to say to him. That is when Benny came into the picture and I lost my brother, I never felt so alone in my life then I did for those three months. You know what was said between us in those three months, how Dean really feels about me as a brother or a person. The only thing I had left was to take me out of Dean's life for good, wish those hunters did take my life instead of keeping me as a toy. What they said about me is true Jackson all of it, I deserve every word they said to me as they tortured me. Can't get those words out of my mind man, wish I could...just hard you know...I can't."

Sam could feel his chest ache hearing those words from Tim, Reggie and Randy, he knew every one of those words were true. He felt a sob coming from his chest that was getting stronger and stronger; until he couldn't stop it any longer he let all the hurt come out through tears.

Jackson watch as Sam fell apart in front of him crying from all the pain, he stepped over to give his friend some comfort. Holding him tight in his arms he let Sam get all his emotions out, shedding his own tears he felt anger boil inside of him. The anger he felt was to Tim, Reggie and Randy thinking Sam wasn't good enough; his anger was to Benny for putting a wedge between the brothers. He knew now was a good time to get a hold of Dean, get him to come to the cabin to talked to Sam get him of open up.

Three days has passed since Sam had his break down to Jackson, three days of him shedding tears every day from it. Jackson help Sam use the crutches around the cabin to give him more freedom; he was leery at first with Sam's mindset at where it has been. Sam promise him that he wouldn't do anything stupid like that, he's trying to get himself to a good place in his mind to be happy. With Matt coming by the next morning Sam looked forward to seeing him, helping Jackson as much as he could getting the place ready.

That was until Castiel stopped by telling Sam things that Dean hasn't done, trying to get Sam not to see his brother at all. Which made the younger brother go back to the mindset Jackson tried so hard to stop, as Jackson yelled at Castiel Sam went to his room closing the door. When Jackson finally went to check up on him, he stood in horror to see blood pooling around Sam who's arms and legs covered in red. Yelling for Castiel to get his feathery ass back to the cabin, he demand the Angel to get Matt now. Praying that his phone would work he turned it on to his relief he got bars, calling Matt he told his friend what happen and what to get. Letting him know that Castiel would be coming to get him, hoping that they both get here in time to save Sam.

 **Next chapter will contain Sam trying to commit suicide from Castiel words, letting you all now to be aware of what's going to happen.**

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

**IN THIS CHAPTER THERE WILL BE SELF HARM AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT OF A MAJOR CHARACTER, DON'T READ IF THIS TRIGGERS ANYTHING BAD FOR YOU. WILL BE MARK IN BOLD LETTERING, NOT A DEATH OF THE MAJOR CHACRACTER.**

Walking around the town he was in Dean enjoyed seeing the views of the mountains; the town snuggled in between two mountain ranges on either side. It was a small quiet town with old shops and buildings line the main road, as he walked down one side of the street a certain store caught his attention. Looking through the window he saw it too be a bookstore with knickknacks that Sam would love, his heartache not to have his brother with him to see this store. Walking inside he looked at all the shelving that held books, knowing how much Sam loves to read he looked for the right books to get. Finding one of Sam's old favorite storybook he smiled at the cover, had a picture of a wolf and a man with the title White Fang. When Sammy found the book he begged their dad to get it for him, since watching the T.V movie he wanted to read the book. For three years Sam kept that book in his bag so he could read it, one day Sam and their dad got into a huge fight in resulting the book being thrown into the fire. Sam was crushed that the older man threw his treasure book into the fire, he told the man that he hated him for what he did. After it was all said and done John or Sam didn't talked to each other for days, Sam from the anger of loosing his book, and John from thinking his son needs to hunt more not read.

Dean tried to comfort his brother over his loss of his favorite book he loved so much, even cause a few fights between John and Dean. With Dean telling his dad that Sam is only twelve years old to young to hunt yet, they got into a huge fight that Sam lay in bed shaking from fear. When Dean came back into the room seeing Sam crying and shaking, he held his brother close to his chest crying himself to sleep. Smiling at the memory Dean went to see if he could find any more books to get Sam, finding two more that his brother loved as a child and teenager. Walking up to the counter he laid the book down to pay for them, seeing the cashier smiling at the child's book as she glance at Dean. He knew what she was thinking and if she only knew Sam was an adult; he just couldn't help himself when he saw little Sammy's favorite bedtime story.

Stepping out of the store he looked around at some more stores, find some other things he bought for his brother. Returning to the motel after having an early dinner he took his shower, laying down in bed he turned off the light to get a good night sleep. He wanted to be up early to get some breakfast and be on the road by 8 am, he still has another two days of traveling to get to Jim's cabin.

Two days of being on the road by himself had Dean thinking about everything, from his fights with Sam, Jackson, Matt and Castiel to him killing Tim and Reggie. How he acted towards Sam for those three months with Benny, how he shut Sam out, hitting him, telling him to leave. All of this was swirling in his head as he drove towards Ketchum, glancing at his watch seeing that it was eleven he would stop for some lunch. He had another four hours to reach the town hopefully there won't be to much traffic, another hour before he got to Jim's cabin five hours in total. He really didn't want to stop just wanted to keep driving, his need to get to Sam was so over powering to see his brother. He knew that Jackson would be mad if he didn't take care of himself, like right now he really didn't care what his friend thinks.

After having his lunch Dean headed in the direction of Ketchum and Jim's cabin, hoping to be there by four if things go well. Knowing it will take at least four hours to drive into the town itself, could take another hour to drive through the town depends on traffic. With his heavy leaded foot he could make it to the town in maybe three in a half hours, he will have to see how it goes from now until he gets there.

Dean surprise himself by making it before four as he entered into the town, he was even more relief that the traffic was very light. Driving down the road he started to get an ache in the pit of his stomach, which was growing by the second as he drove towards the edge of town. As he got onto the open road he felt a sharp pain in his chest, which took his breath away for a split second as he turned towards Jim's cabin. His big brother alarm was going off as he sped down the road to get to Sam, all his senses tingle with pain the closer he got to the cabin. Finally what seem like hours he was at the place he needed to be, with his heart pounding in his chest he ran to the door shoving it open. What he saw sent him into a murderous rage when he saw his brother's blood; it was on Jackson and Matt's hands, pants and shirt, the floor and on Sam.

~~~SPN~~~

Since Sam talked to Jackson about what he did those first few weeks, since Dean disappeared from the building of Dick Roman. He could feel his depression coming back stronger then before he open up, having his friend there encouraging him to talk about his feelings has helped. Even been helping when he can to get the cabin ready for Matt, he couldn't do a lot with his leg in the brace and on crutches. He helped clean the kitchen since he could lean on the counters for support, he clean the bathroom sink and floor leaving the shower for Jackson. Helping his friend clean help Sam emotionally knowing that he's not useless or a burden, which in turned help the depression lesson with each thing he accomplish. Keeping his mind off of all the bad things that happen to him with the hunters, he replace them with all the good things that he, Jackson and Matt will be doing.

Jackson kept up with Sam's therapy on his leg to strengthen the muscles and kneecap, he was happy to see that Sam is finally healing physically and emotionally. The physical part he could help Sam get him to walk again without the crutches, the emotional ones he can only do so much with those. He does know how Sam feels on the hurt he's feeling, his hurt is still with him just not as strong as Sam's is. During the therapy Jackson asked him what he wanted to do with Matt being here, he would be coming in two days from now in the morning. They could have breakfast together then decide on what to do, he'll let Sam decide since Matt coming to see him.

"Sam, what did you want to do when Matt comes?"

Jackson asked as he lifted Sam's knee into a bend holding it a few minutes, before laying it down on the bed.

"Since my leg is still in the brace when he comes down, we can go into town to have a looked around."

Sam tried not to groan when Jackson bend his knee, he hated when he had to do the therapy. At least it's getting easier to bend his knee, the first time they did it Sam scream in pain making Jackson flinch.

"That sounds like a good idea Sam we can go after breakfast is clean up, he should be here by 8 if the traffic is good."

Lifting the hold leg up about two feet from the bed, he bends the knee happy to see it touch the bed this time. When they started two weeks ago he couldn't bend the knee at all, without making Sam cry out in pain. Even now there's still pain when he does just not as bad as before, after each therapy session he would massage his knee and leg.

"There are some good shops I saw in the drive in a few days ago, we can go and see what's in them after breakfast. There are some new ones since the last time we were here, like to check those out one looks like a bookstore. Wish my leg wasn't in a brace or hard to walk on or bend, we could go to Sawtooth National Park for the day."

"The knee is getting better Sam can bend it further now then before, if you want to we can go for a half a day. Matt and I will be with you find an easy path for you to walk on, with you on crutches there should be one we could find."

"Really we could go to the park and walked on one of the trails, that would be so cool Jackson I would love that."

Jackson smile to see the childlike expression on Sam's face and the excitement in his eyes, he would have to take Sam there when Matt is here. The look he saw reminded him of the fifteen-year-old Sam on their hike, when he first saw the wolves, bear sow with cubs and the cougar that fun day. He knew that trail would be hard for Sam to hike on, he could asked if there are easier ones for him when they get there.

"Sure thing buddy we'll asked Matt when he wants to go for the hike, we'll leave early to get there and find a good trail. Never know we might see a wolf, bear or cougar while we are walking, this time no hitting me like the last time had a huge bruise on my arm."

"I didn't hit you that hard Jackson stop being a baby, I only tap you on the arm and pulled it a few times. That was cool seeing those three animals that day made my day, never knew we might get to see a Bald Eagle this time."

"Alright then we'll make it a day of doing that when Matt comes down for a visit, show him the sites the park has to offered in all it's glory. Okay Sam we are done with your session you did great this time, bend your knee further then the last time we tried it. In another week the brace could come off for good, like to have you used the crotches for support until the knee is fully healed."

"Thanks for all your help Jackson and patients with me, I know I haven't been the best person to be around. My moods must have grown your patients very thin with me I know they have, sorry about being a bastard those few weeks of being here. I couldn't stop myself from lashing out at you every chance I got, just couldn't hold any of that back I had to let it all out on you. It's not you that I'm mad at Jackson it's me, I just couldn't get out of that mindset I was in and still have it."

"Sam, it's been rough the last month of being here together just the two of us, we have said things to each other out of anger and frustration. None of which I blame you for it's was my own mindset of what happen, I knew what I was getting myself into when I brought you here. I talked with a friend of mine who helps people with depression, he explains to me on how things will go and how I should deal with them. Even had to call him a few times thinking that I failed you when things got rough, he told me that it will happen and to keep doing what I'm doing."

"As for the things I said on the porch the other day-let me finish please." Jackson hold his hand up to stop Sam from saying anything, he had to get this out on how he was feeling at the time. "What I said to you that day wasn't in any way to hurt you, I'm not going to say I'm sorry for saying those words to you either. I had to let you know that you are not the only one who's hurting; there are others who are hurting just as bad as you are. You know who I am talking about Sam and he is hurting bad in more ways then one, there's one thing different between you and me in our pain we are feeling my friend. I don't have an older brother to apologies for my action; you still have your brother who wants to make things right with you. Don't worry Sam he don't know where we are I haven't told him, the only one who knows is Matt and he won't say anything. I got this feeling that Dean will find out where I have taken you, eventually he's going to find his way here to talk to you he has that sixth sense you know."

"You're right Jackson, Dean does have that sixth sense when it came to me, now I'm not so sure if he would even care to find me. I wish we could be the brothers we used to be before all this crap, the last few months has proven we won't be able to be that way. I have ruined big time with Dean he wants nothing to do with me, he don't want to be my brother anymore made it loud and clear. A small part of me still have hope that it's totally not gone, I just don't want to take that chance and ruin that hope I want."

"Sam, keep hold of that hope, my friend, don't let it go no matter what, I know once when you two talked it will work out. Here take these pain pills I can see the therapy took a lot out of you, they won't make you sleepy will take the edge off the pain. I'm going to start to get dinner going do you want to stay here, or go sit in the living room or porch it's up to you."

"I'm going to lay here and rest I'm a little tired from helping cleaning the place, let me know when dinner is ready I'll come out."

Patting Sam on his shoulder he walked out of the room to get dinner started, while his friend laid down to get some rest. Two hours later Sam came out of the room asking if Jackson needed any help, hearing no he sat at the table watching his friend finished with the meal. After they ate and clean the kitchen they both went out on the porch, having tea to drink as they watch the sun go down.

~~~SPN~~~

Slowly coming from a warm peaceful sleep Jackson laid in the warm bed, he was in no hurry of getting up just yet. He felt good about today that it will be a good day for him and Sam; tomorrow Matt will be here for four days visiting. He can't wait to show his friend this place he loves so much, being here makes his soul so peaceful with the quietness. He really misses being at the clinic an hour drive away from here, maybe he and Sam can take Matt over there to show him his old job. He knew it will bring back memories of him and Jefferson, which are really good ones with them being just brothers not doctors just brothers.

Hearing movement in the other room drew Jackson out of his thoughts; he knew that Sam is up most likely waiting to have breakfast made. Sitting at the edge of the bed he stretch his body to get him moving, being at the cabin he's been sleeping so good that it's hard to get out of bed. Standing he walked out the door to only stop dead in his tracks, in the kitchen was Sam making breakfast for the both of them. He watches him carefully as he scramble the eggs in the bowl before putting cheese in, pouring them into the skillet over the ham he cooked. In the other skillet he had sausage cooking while the coffee brew, mixing the eggs he started to scramble them adding salt and pepper. Jackson could tell that Sam was trying to make omelets, then gave up on trying when he couldn't get the eggs just right. When he saw Sam loose his balance a little he walked over to help him, he wasn't going to take over just help him finish. Between the two they got the breakfast on the table in no time, getting the coffee Jackson sat down with Sam on the other side of the table. Looking at the meal Sam made he was proud of the man; he can tell that Sam was proud of himself for doing this all on his own.

"Sam this is the best breakfast I have had in a long time, great job on the eggs they are so good."

"I tried to make an omelets wasn't working so I just scramble them instead, they are good missing one thing have to put this in."

Sam put his spoon in the applesauce mixing it in with his eggs for flavor, seeing Jackson shake his head Sam just smiled.

"Why don't you try it, Jackson, you might like; it it's good."

"I don't know Sam don't sound good I remember you put it on the eggs at the clinic, okay I will try just a little to see how it is."

He wish he never looked over at Sam who was giving him the wounded puppy eyes, seeing his friend in a good mood he didn't want to ruin it. Putting a small amount on a piece of his eggs he tried the mixture Sam likes, he had to emit that it did taste good but it's something he won't eat. Seeing the smile in Sam's eyes he knew he did the right thing, after breakfast both men finished cleaning the cabin for Matt's arrival tomorrow.

Jackson walked into the spare room below the loft he and Jefferson stayed, seeing the bed needed clean linen he knew a trip to the laundry mat was in order. Gathering the sheets from both beds and extras for Matt's bed, he got all their clothes together taking them out to the van. Getting Sam in the passenger seat since he wanted to sit there, they headed into town to get the clothes clean along with some rugs.

Returning back to the cabin Jackson helped Sam inside before getting the laundry, making sure Sam was comfortable on the couch he went back to the van. Placing the articles were they belong he sat next to Sam, giving him some tea to drink while they relax before lunch. Both men were content just sitting there not saying a word, Jackson can see a difference in Sam that he hasn't seen in a long time. He can see the old Sam finally coming back to the man he knew, they have seen each other once when Dean and Sam were hunting. They stopped off at the clinic one day stayed for a few days to visit him; Jackson love the man Sam became strong, confident, caring and very well manner young man. Who still looked up to his big brother even with him being taller, he could see that Sam still worship his brother Dean. Now when he's looking at Sam he can see half of what he love coming back, taking baby steps along the way slowly that Sam is coming back. He was about to asked his friend what he wanted for lunch, when Castiel appeared in the living room startling Jackson just a little. He saw Sam looking at the Angel with confusing in his eyes, he wonder why the Angel will be here hopefully he won't ruin what Jackson accomplished. His hopes when out the window when Cass told Sam what Dean been doing, all his hard work went down the drain in two minutes.

"What the hell Castiel? Has anyone told you to knock first?"

Jackson said with a hint of anger in his words at the angel, who just stood there with a stone look on his face.

"Cas, what are you doing here?"

"Sam, I have come here with some news about Dean, that you should know about on what he's been doing."

"Castiel, now is not the time to be saying anything to Sam, he's not up to hearing what you have to say. Specially when it comes to Dean when he's not here to defend himself, what every you have to say can wait until I call him here."

"Jackson Sam has every right to hear what I have to say about Dean, and what he's been doing since he left the hospital."

"Castiel I said no, and as his doctor you will listen to what I say."

Jackson said as he stood up from the couch taken a defense stance to the angel, he would not let the man ruin what he works so hard to accomplish.

"Jackson I got this man Cas would you please leave I don't want to hear it, I can't listen to anything that has to do with Dean yet."

Sam said as he lifted himself off the couch with Jackson help, leaning on the crotches for support.

"Sam what I have to say it is important on what Dean did to those two hunters-"

Jackson cut Castiel off knowing it's something Sam doesn't need to hear.

"Castiel, that will be enough I told you not to be saying anything, what part of it don't you understand Sam don't need to hear it."

"Wait-what did Dean do to those hunters-Jackson what are you not telling me?"

"Sam, I have no idea what Castiel is talking when it comes to Dean, I have been here with you this whole time. The only persons I talk to was Matt and Jacob that was it who I talk to, Matt said nothing about Dean doing anything so Castiel needs to be quiet."

"Jackson, I have every right to tell Sam what his brother has done being his friend, he needs to know how out of control Dean is right now. He killed those two hunters Sam that brought you to the hotel with that other man, he gutted them like a wild animal for the fun of it. Then he burned down the house to get rid of the evidence, when I asked him about it he told me he did it for you."

Sam stood in shock to hear what Castiel was saying to him, on what Dean did to Reggie and Tim on what they did to him. He felt all his color leave his face on what he just heard about Dean, he didn't know what to say on what he heard from the Angel. When he finally got his voice back he had to know why.

"Why-why-would he do that-he, he hates he wouldn't do that not for me." Sam was shaking his head no as he talked.

"Sam he didn't do it just for you he didn't for himself for his own revenge, he don't care about you Sam he left you to those hunters. He left you for Benny to be his brother and partner not you, he told me he's on his way here to finish what he started. He don't want you as a brother Sam he wants you out of his life, you are the one who's in his way for that freedom he's seeking. You can't let him in Sam-"

A sharp pain in his arm cut off Castiel's words when Jackson stabbed him with a knife, he had to get the Angel to shut up before he does damage. Seeing all the light go out of Sam's eyes and the hope he had leave, it piss him off that the Angel cause that to leave his friend. Seeing Sam leave the room Jackson called out to him, only to have Sam tell him to leave him alone.

"Sam, where are you going?"

"I-I need to be alone Jackson, please leave me alone."

He watches as the young man closed the door behind him, turning to the Angel he lit right into him.

"Castiel, what the hell did you say that for to Sam, you and I both know that is not true about Dean. For you to tell that to Sam when he's trying to get himself back into a better place, was the wrong thing for you to do you damn ass. Don't say a word you are going to listen you stupid fuck up Angel, if you did any kind of damage to Sam in any way, I will be hunting you ass down. I have tried for the last month to get Sam out of his depression; I was finally making progress with him today getting him in a good place. Then you came in and torn it all down with your hurtful hateful words, if I were you I would leave right now before I do more damage to your sorry ass."

Jackson stood his ground to the man in front of him with fire in his eyes, there was no way he would let that person/thing near Sam again. Even when Castiel walked up to him with fire in his own eyes, he told Jackson what he said is true.

"What I told my friend is the truth Jackson, I'm not capable of lying I'm an Angel of the Lord. What I said is the truth about Dean, and what he has plans for Sam when he gets here. Just make sure Dean don't hurt him or there will be hell to pay, it will be coming from me not anyone else."

With that Castiel disappeared from the living room leaving one angry man, and one heart broken man in his wake. Taking a deep breath to calm the ragging fire that burning in him, he walked to Sam door knocking to be asked to come in.

"Sam, may I please come in." Hearing no answer he knock again waiting for a response, when none came he open the door slowly. He froze when he saw red pooling around Sam, who was sitting up limp.

 **Starting here will be here the character does self-harm and suicide attempt, if this triggers anything bad please don't read past this.**

Closing the door behind him Sam took a deep breath to calm himself down, from what he heard from Castiel about Dean. Feeling his eyes burning he closed them to stop the tears from coming, only to have hot tears running down his cheeks. He could hear Jackson and Castiel arguing through the door, as he leaned against the door to think what he should do. He can't face his brother now if he plans on killing him; he hates him that much that he will take his life. So he can be free of a freak of a brother that he never wanted, a brother who always let him down time and time again. Pushing himself away from the door he headed over by the window, looking out he thought back to the times where he and Dean played. When they came here with Jim and Bobby so he could heal from his injuries, when at the time he could call himself Dean's little brother. Looking around the room brought back more memories of them, all good ones before shit hit the fan big time from Sam's screw-ups.

Looking at the far bed he saw him and Dean sitting on the bed talking, about what they would do the next day. Dean would look at him with soft loving eyes that made him feel safe, holding him when he had bad night terrors comforting him. All that he destroyed through the years as he failed Dean time and time again, to have the truth come out that Dean wished he never been born. The pain in his heart was so strong it took his breath away; he couldn't stop the sobs that came so deep inside of him. Feeling his knees give away he took off his brace sliding down the wall, he sat there crying like a baby from all the hurt he was feeling.

All the words Dean said to him in anger and hate all came back to him, drowning him with every word he heard coming from his brother. He couldn't stop the tears or the sobs that shook his body as he sat there, the pain he felt was so sharp it would take his breath away if he wasn't crying. He didn't know what he should do know, he felt so lost and alone like there's no coming back from it. He dropped his hands onto his legs not knowing what to do, until he felt his hand hit the knife in his pocket he got from Dean. Pulling the knife out he open the blade looking at it as tears ran down the surface, he knew what he could do so Dean wouldn't have to. He wasn't sure if he could do this end his life like this but cutting himself, his hands shook so hard the knife dropped to the floor with a dull thud. He was trying to talk himself out of doing this; Jackson has tried so hard to keep him going that he almost decided not to. Until he heard Dean's voice full of hate and anger yelling at him, telling him that he wasn't his brother, he never should have been born. Those words gave Sam the strength he needed to place the knife in his hand; pulling up his sleeves he took the tip of the knife to his skin. Taking a deep shaking breath he press hard watching his blood flow, he slice his arm open with a deep gash as he cut into his skin. He couldn't stop the gasp of pain that came when he slice his arm open, switching hands he did the same cut on his other arm. The blood poured thick out of his wounds as he dropped the knife between his legs, opening and closing his fists he watch as it pooled around his arms and legs. Leaning back he closed his eyes with a few tears rolling down his cheeks, the pain he felt was like none other it hurt so bad. He could feel himself getting weaker as the blood flowed heavily out of his wounds; he let it all go he didn't even fight to stop his life force from leaving. One last thought that went through his mind before everything went dark, was that Dean would be free of a brother he never really wanted. He thought he heard Jackson calling his name in his fuzzy mind; he let himself go into the warmth of the darkness.

 **Ends here.**

Before he even knew he moved from his spot he was at Sam's side, grabbing the sheet from the bed he covered the wounds. He could feel his anger boil deep inside of him for what had happen, it was all aimed at one person and that name was yelled out.

"Castiel, get your feathery ass back here right now, I need your damn help."

Jackson looked around to see if he was there, seeing nothing he yelled again.

"Damn you Castiel get your ass here now or else."

"What do-what happen." Castiel stood in shock as he watches Jackson trying to safe Sam.

"What do you think happen asshole you did this, I need you to go get Matt and bring him here. I told you what to do Castiel go get Matt, what are you doing don't you dare touch him you did enough damage."

Castiel walked up to Sam laid his hand on his head gently, he knew he didn't have enough power to save his friend. He could give him some of his grace to keep him alive; when he was done he looked over at the angry eyes of Jackson. Standing back up he did as the man asked him to do, went to go get Matt to help save Sam.

Jackson prayed that his phone would work so he can call his friend; opening his phone he saw that he had a connection. Sending a quick thanks to Jim or who ever was listening, he called Matt to let him know what was happening. As he was talking to Matt he saw Castiel kneel down to Sam, laying his hand on his friend angered him greatly. If he wasn't talking to Matt he would tell Castiel to go to hell for this, that would come later when he gets Sam's wounds taken care of.

"Matt, I need your help, Sam he-he tried to kill himself."

"Jackson calm down tells me what you need, I will get them and get there as soon as I can."

"Get blood O+ get as many as you can get in the cooler, need needles, sutures, I.V and fluids, I'm sending Castiel to come and get you right now."

"I'm on it right now Jackson getting the blood and all the other things you need, is there anything else you would need."

"What ever you think we are going to need Matt can't think right now, to busy trying to keep Sam alive until you get here."

"I'll be there Jackson we'll save Sam together let me go get the things, just keep doing what you are doing my friend."

Matt just finished his rounds for the morning patients he's taken care of, heading to his office he stepped in to have his lunch. As he sat down he was going through his head on what he would need, he had everything pack and put in his car for his trip to see Jackson and Sam. Just as he finished eating his phone ran, looking at the caller ID he saw it was Jackson calling him. As he answered his phone he heard his friend panic voice, doing as he asked of him Matt ran out of his office to the blood bank. Grabbing what he needed he told the nurse he needed them now, he didn't care if he sign any of them out he just ran. Grabbing the cooler on the way out he ran down the hallway to OR storage, opening a bag he place all the things he knew they would need to help Sam and them some. He made sure he got what Jackson asked for him to get, even some pain killers and antibiotics just to be on the safe side. He even grabbed some alcohol to clean out Sam's wounds along with gauze; he had to make sure he got what they really needed. As he turned to leave the room Castiel was standing in the room next to him, seeing the man ready Castiel took Matt to where Jackson was fighting to keep Sam alive.

"Damn it, Castiel, where the hell are you with Matt-"

"I'm right here, Jackson, is this fast en-"

What Matt saw before him his instincts kick in he went in saving Sam mode, dropping next to Sam he asked Jackson to let him look. When his friend didn't let go he carefully laid his hand on his shoulders, he knew Jackson didn't even see him yet he's too focus on Sam. Once when his friend looked at him he asked again, when he finally let go which was hard for him to do.

"We'll save him Jackson let me take care of this wound first, boy is it deep got some towels here until I'm ready."

Matt didn't want to let go of Sam's arm with the blood already seeping through the towel; he needed to get the needle ready to stitch him up. Grabbing what he needed he worked fast on closing the wound on Sam's arm, it was a slow painful process with the blood flowing. He finally got the wound stitch closed what felt like hours to him, moving to Jackson side he moved his friend over so he can do the other arm. He can tell that Jackson wasn't in shape to work on Sam wounds, so he took over to finish while his friend held onto Sam. Matt could see that he was scared to let him go in fear of him dying, he let the man hold Sam hand while he work on him.

Getting both open wounds clean and sown closed he clean the sutures real good, checking his blood pressure he didn't like how low it has become. Getting Jackson to focus on him they need to get Sam on the bed, get some blood and fluids in him to help raise his blood pressure. With both men working together they got Sam hooked up, with much needed blood that he needed to keep him alive. When Jackson finally calm down he sat down on the bed, glancing over at Sam he took a deep breath to calm him. He came so close to loosing his friend today no thanks to Castiel, hell he still might loose Sam he's not out of the woods yet. The next 24 hours will tell on how Sam will do from this set back, he couldn't stop the tears that pooled in his eyes.

He felt his anger burned hot at the Angel for what he did to Sam, for the lies he told his friend about Dean. The more he ran it through his head the angrier he became at the man, got to the point where he couldn't sit anymore. He shot from the bed so fast it took Matt by surprise on how fast he was, he followed his friend out the room into the living room. Where Jackson and Castiel were standing face to face with each other, he can see the anger vibrating from his friend his eyes burning. He never saw Jackson this angry before in all the years he known him, his action were so fast Matt didn't see the fist hit Castiel in the jaw. Not until the Angel was on the floor rubbing his sore jaw, he saw Jackson moving onto the down man kicking him hard with his foot. Hearing the air rushing from the down man he smile to himself, here is his friend beating the crap out of an Angel good for him. Before Jackson could do more damage Castiel disappeared from the room, hearing his friend cussing he walked up to him. Placing his hand on his shoulder he had to get him under control, he could feel his friend body shaking with anger. He talked to him in a calm soft voice like he would a child; it seemed to work when his friend calm down enough to talked to.

"Jackson, you need to calm down my friend, Sam needs your help the Angel can wait. That's it my friend take deep calming breaths, lets sit down here on the couch I'll get you some water."

Walking into the kitchen he grabbed one of the cups in the sink, filling it with water he walked back into the room. Seeing Jackson gone he knew where he would be Sam's room, walking into the room he saw his friend sitting on the bed. Sitting next to him he gave him the water to drink before they talked, glancing over at Sam he didn't like the way the boy looked or his breathing. Thank goodness he brought an oxygen tank with him, it was a small one but it will do the job it's needed for.

As he check Sam over he kept a close eye on Jackson too, he can tell his friend was having a hard time. Seeing your friend like that will mess up anyone no matter who you are, making sure the oxygen is working he sat next to Jackson. Both men lost in their own thoughts in an uncomfortable silence, Jackson was the one who broke the silence in the room.

"I should have check up on Sam after he went to his room, maybe I could have stopped him Matt from killing himself. Instead I stayed in the other room yelling at that damn, fucking angel, this is his fault that Sam thought this was his only way. I got Sam to a good place Matt took me a month to do it, fuck ass Castiel ruined it in less then five minutes what an asshole."

"Jackson, don't go blaming yourself for what happen here it's not your fault, did you know that Sam had a knife with him."

"What do you mean Matt I hid all the knives the second week we were here, the only ones that were left out was the butter knives."

"There's a pocket knife over there was laying in between Sam's legs when I got here, he must had it somewhere on him or in his things."

"I check all his things Matt when he was sleeping how did he get it, I couldn't find a knife in his clothes or his bag."

"I don't know Jackson it's a small pocket knife he had it somewhere, can tell it meant a lot to Sam they condition it's in."

"How could I not see the knife I was being really careful Matt I was, god this is my fault cause I couldn't find it."

"Jackson this is not your fault my friend Sam had it hidden, I bet Dean wouldn't have found the knife either. You did the right thing my friend don't go blaming yourself on this, blame that damn Angel that force Sam to do this."

"Once when I see that Angel again he's toast mark my word Matt, I will find a way to kill that being for good. I have to stay here right now to make sure Sam stays with us, I can't leave him like-"

Jackson didn't finished when he heard the front door slamming shut, hearing heavy footsteps coming their way. Before he could stand up and very worried Dean came into the room, which turned into a murderous Dean once when he saw Sam. Jackson got up to meet Dean to explain on what happen here, before he could say a word he felt a hard punch to the head before everything went black.

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

Matt turned to look to see who was coming into the room, he felt Jackson move from the bed as Dean walked in. Seeing the worried look in the older brother eyes he felt sorrow for him, then to see the murderous look fear kick in. Before he could get up to help Jackson he saw Dean hitting his friend hard, Jackson head snapped to the left before he fell limp onto the floor. He was up off the bed before he could even think about it, standing between a down Jackson, and a very angry Dean Winchester. Knowing that he had to check Jackson over he had to get Dean calm, if that is even possible right now. Holding his hands out he stood to protect Jackson from the older brother, he had to get Dean to focus on Sam not his friend. Taking a deep breath he kept a close eye on the man in front of him, clearing his throat he knew he had to say the right words to Dean.

"Dean, stop right there don't you come near my friend, you need to calm down my-"

Once when those words came out Dean ripped right into him.

"Don't tell me to calm down Matt, get the hell out of my way or else. I need to teach that piece of shit a thing or two, he done this to Sam and he's going to get a beating for it so move."

"No Dean, I will not move for you to hit Jackson some more, this was not his fault young man he tried to stop this. He got Sam in a good place before that Angel ca-"

Matt didn't know what happen one moment he's talking to Dean, the next he's seeing stars and trying to catch his breath. He felt pain on his back, which took his breath away, the back of his head hurts that would cause the stars. When his vision cleared he knew why he's feeling this way now, seeing Dean just inches from his face nose flaring with dangerous dark eyes. Dean had pushed him into the wall hard, holding him there, with his left arm across his chest his right hand in a fist. Hearing the older brother voice so low and threatening, he got scared on what Dean will do to him and Jackson.

Before he could say a word Dean got right into his personal space, glaring at him as he spoke to him in a low threatening voice.

"I told Jackson to keep that fucking angel away from Sam or else, did he listen to me no he didn't and look at what happen. Jackson will get his payback as soon as I check up on Sam, that hit was only the beginning on his beating. If you know what's best for you Matt you will leave, get in your damn car drive from here don't look back."

Dean pushed him hard into the wall before letting him go, walking over to the bed to check on Sam's condition. Matt felt the pressure left his chest as Dean stepped away, he would have slid to the floor it he wasn't holding onto the dresser. Catching his breath he looked over at Jackson who was still out from the hit, when he felt he could walk without falling he moved over to his friend. Kneeling down he check Jackson head for any kind of injuries, feeling a knot just above his right ear inches from his eye is where Dean hit him. Feeling the back part of the head for any other kind of injuries, feeling another knot the size of an walnut from where he hit the floor. When he was done with the head he check his neck and shoulders, finding no more injuries to those areas he slowly laid the man on his back. Getting his pen light out he check his pupils to see if he had a concussion, seeing that his eyes responded the correct way he took a breath of relief. He can move Jackson to his bed without worrying that he could hurt him, lifting him carefully into a sitting position he brace himself as he lifted the man. Keeping one arm on his back while the other under his knees, he slowly lifted his friend up into his arms. Walking out of the room he headed to Jackson room carefully laying him down, once when he got him situated he left to get some extra strength Ibuprofen. When he left the hospital he made sure he had everything they would need, from needles, sutures, pills, gauze, tape, blood, fluids, blood pressure cup and thermometer. When he got the call from Jackson on what happen he even through in some extra things, once when things settle he will pull everything out and put them away.

Getting a glass of water he took two Ibuprofen for his already developing headache, walking back into Sam's room he had to check the man over. Stopping just inside the door he watch as Dean washed Sam down, seeing how gentle he was to his younger brother when two minutes ago he was a murderous man out of control. He was about to go help Dean clean Sam up from the bloody clothes he had on, what stop him was the glare he got from the older brother daring him to make a move. Instead he went to get a bucket filled it with hot soapy water and rags, walking back into the room he went over to where Sam was sitting. He put gloves on before he started to scrub the floor with the brush he found under the sink, he had to empty the bucket four times to clean all the fluid on the floor. Once when he was done he checked up on Jackson, every time he left Sam's room he would peek in on his friend. Rinsing the bucket out with bleach to sanitize it, he went to check up on his friend who by now was coming around. Sitting on the edge of the bed he watch as Jackson slowly and painfully open his eyes, only to shut them again due to the pain he was in. Getting the two pills and glass of water he waited until the man was more aware, as he tried to get up Matt pushed him back onto the bed gently telling him to stay still. Hearing a cuss word coming from the man he smile softly to himself, motioning his friend to take the pills he had.

As he started to wake Jackson was aware of the marching band in his head, every beat of his heart made his head hurt. As he open his eyes he shut them tightly due to the room spinning, and the light that hurt his eyes causing his head to hurt more. Hearing more then seeing Matt next to him he tried to sit up, only to have a hand pushed him back onto the bed he don't remember getting into. Feeling two pills being place in his hand, he head Matt telling him to take them with the water. Doing as he was told Jackson took the pills and drank just enough water, his head ache so bad it made his stomach nauseated. Laying there waiting for the pills to take effect on the pain he was in, taking deep breaths to calm his stomach that was flip flopping. When he could finally open his eyes he saw Matt looking at him with worry eyes, which reminded him of Jefferson when John knock him out long time ago. Taking a deep breath he had to asked his friend if he was dreaming, or did he really get hit by Dean being in big brother protective mode.

"Matt-not dreaming on what just happen-that was a big mistake-my head is killing me."

To Jackson when he asked Matt the question he sounded like he was whispering, as he tried to sit up his head was about to explode. Holding the palms of his hands on his eyes he try to get the pain under control, which made his stomach grumble due to the pain he was in. Taking small gulps of air to help settle his stomach, he didn't want to bring up the water and pills he just took. He could hear Matt talking to him, with his mind so foggy and muddle he couldn't understand the words.

"Jackson laid down my friend give yourself time to get the pain out of your head, take deep breaths you don't want to get sick now do you. That's it my friend take you time let your body relax from the drama it just took, you got hit pretty hard young man in the head by Dean."

"So that part wasn't a dream then when I got hit by him, he has a harder hit then he did the last time."

"I'm afraid not my friend that wasn't no dream when you got hit, scared me when I saw you lying there when you fell. Had to keep myself under control while I stood against a murderous Dean, finally got him to go check Sam over so I can get you out of the room. Take it easy Jackson Sam is doing the best he can right now, last I check on him his heart rate was low from the blood loss. Going to go check on him again to see how he's doing now, see if he needs another liter of blood brought four of them with me."

"Just be careful of Dean Matt he's going to be piss as hell on what happen, keep your eyes on him as you check Sam over. I don't want you hurt cause of this mess I got you in-"

Jackson stopped when they heard Dean voice from the doorway.

"Don't worry about Matt Jackson you should be worrying about yourself, I told you what will happen if you let Castiel near Sam."

~~~SPN~~~

Dean stood there being in Matt's personal space for a few more seconds, he had to get it through the man that no one gets in his way. Once when he saw the blood Sam's blood on the floor he blood ran cold, seeing his brother on the bed with both arms wrapped in gauze fear hit him, when he saw Sam's blood on his brothers, Matt and Jackson clothes rage was let out. His first instinct was to protect Sam from Jackson and Matt, when he saw the younger man stand up he reacted hard and fast. What got him even more in rage is when Matt got in the way, pushing him hard against the wall he felt good giving him some pain. When he heard Sam's name being mention he ease up on his friend, letting him go he had to check up on Sammy. Walking up to the bed his heartache at what he saw on the bed, both of his brother's wrist and forearms wrapped in gauze. Closing his eyes to stop the tears from coming down his cheeks, he had to get himself together if he's going to help his brother. Sitting down on the bed he check his younger brother over, he didn't like what he saw as he looked his brother over. His face pale with dark smudges under his eyes from lack of sleep, even in his sleep he could see the haggard look on Sam. Knowing that he's the one who put that look on his brother from all the shit he gave him, from the anger he couldn't let go from what Sam has done the past year. Moving down to his chest and abdomen he saw that Sam lost a lot of weight, his clothes are look so big on him like they are just hanging off of him. Going further down he saw blood all over his jeans and shirts even on the bed sheet, looking around the room he saw one of the sheets covered in his brother's blood. Upon further searching around the room he saw a knee brace and knife, frowning he got up off the bed to have a look at them. Picking up the knee brace he remember that Sam was limping at the motel as the brought him over, glancing over he had to check out both his knees to see which one was damage. Glancing down he saw the pocketknife he gave Sam for his thirteenth birthday on the floor, the blade and handle covered in his brother's blood. Picking up the knife he took it to the nightstand by the beds, walking out of the room he went into the bathroom to get the wash pan. Filling it with hot soapy water and some rags, he went back into Sam's room to wash the blood from his brother.

Placing the pan on the nightstand along with the rags and towels, moving to his brother's bed he started to unclothed the man. When it came to the bloody jeans he saw some gloves that Matt brought over, putting them on he started to take the jeans, boxers and socks off of the man. Grabbing the sheet on the floor he wrapped the clothing inside the material, first he'll wash his brother down then he'll move him to get the fitted sheet. As he removes the clothing he didn't see the scares from his injuries he got from the hunters, not until he started to wash his brother body is when he notice the damage that was done. He felt his stomach turned with disgust at what he saw before him, he almost threw up when he saw all the damage done by the hunters. He even saw bite marks on his back, arms, shoulders, chest, abdomen and legs, he felt his heart slammed into his chest at all the scare marks that liter his body. Focusing on his task at hand to get his brother clean from all the blood, hearing movement he glare at Matt daring him to come near Sam. Seeing him leaving the room Dean turned his attention onto Sam, he needed to get his brother clean before he put new clothes and sheets on. Hearing more then seeing Matt reentered the room, he kept a close eye on the man he didn't want him near Sam right now. Seeing him cleaning the blood off the floor with a bucket of hot soapy water, covering his brother with a towel he didn't need Matt to see Sam in his pride and glory. Only when Matt left without returning to the room is when he finished up on Sam, as he started to wash his legs is when he saw his left knee. Being swollen with a tint of yellow that comes from a bad bruise, wondering how it got this way he would have to find out. As he clean each leg he put them to the side of the bed having Sam laying on his side, grabbing the chair from the desk he got Sam sitting into the piece of furniture. Making sure that he wouldn't fall off, and the I.V stayed in place, before he got some sheets, taking off the old one he put fresh clean sheets on the mattress. He check the mattress to see if any blood was on it before the sheet was on, seeing some red spots he had to turn the mattress over first. Getting all of that done he got the clean fitted sheet on, laying the second one with a blanket on top he made the bed. The whole time he was doing this he kept a close eye on Sam, he had to make sure he wouldn't fall off the chair before he got him back in bed. Folding down the blanket and sheet so he can get Sam into bed he grabbed his clothes, lifting him up he check him over to make sure there was no blood left on him.

Setting him on the bed with his feet on the floor he laid him down carefully, getting the boxers and sweet pants he put them on his brother. Leaving the shirt off for now since he didn't want to move the I.V, it was giving his brother the much-needed blood to keep him alive. Sitting him up he lifted his legs onto the bed, as he moved for him to lay down making sure he didn't knock out the I.V. Getting his brother comfortable lifting the sheet and blanket up to his chest, tucking it around his brother like he was little leaving both arms out. Looking at the two bags that were hooked up to his brother he saw the blood needed to be replace, looking around he didn't see any signs of a cooler or an extra blood bag. Taking on last look to Sam he needed t go talk to the two assholes about blood, he was hoping they brought enough to keep Sammy alive. Walking out the door he heard voices in Bobby's old room going there he over heard them, smiling wickedly he was glad that he gave Jackson some pain for what happen. Stepping just inside the door he heard Jackson telling Matt how to be around him, shaking his head knowing that it won't be good enough this time around. Interrupting their talk between each other about how to handle him, he told Jackson he needs to be worried about himself not Matt.

"Don't worry about Matt, Jackson you should be worrying about yourself, I told you what will happen if you let Castiel near Sam."

Jackson slowly sat up in bed with Matt's help since he was still light headed; he had to let Dean know he tried to stop the damn Angel.

"Dean, I didn't know that Castiel knew where the cabin was at when I agree to take him, Jim has told that damn Angel not to interfere with us. He promise our friend he won't-"

Dean cut Jackson off there was more important issues at the moment, not that asshole of a used to be friend right now.

"Jackson, I don't want to hear about that right now it's not my concern at the moment, what is my concern if that Sammy going to need more blood Matt. The liter he's on is almost empty he needs another one, you did bring more then one I hope you did."

"Dean, I have brought four liters of blood for Sam and fluids, to help bring up his blood pressure and heart rate. Let me go get another bag for your brother before the other one dries up, I will be careful Dean you can watch me if you want to."

Matt walked past Dean to get another liter of blood for Sam and a bag of fluids, stepping inside of Sam's room he went to the left side of the bed. Removing the line from the port he had in Sam's arm of both blood and fluids, he waited for Dean to put Sam's shirt on before he inserted the lines. Checking his pulse and heart rate to see if it went up or down, it was the same when they hooked Sam up an hour ago. He knew it wouldn't change in just an hour of checking the last time, he will be checking up on Sam ever hour to see how he's doing. Leaving the room he saw Jackson sitting at the kitchen table, strolling over he sat down next to his friend he was worried about him.

Sitting across from Jackson he had to get his friend out of this mindset he's in, clearing his throat he got the man attention.

"Jackson, you didn't know this would have happen if Castiel didn't come here, it's not your fault for what that damn Angel did. I don't know what he said to make Sam do what he did, or that got you so piss that you beat the crap out of him. It's he's fault for making Sam think this was his only way to deal with the pain, he got me here to save Sam's life that is what's important my friend."

"Matt ,I got Sam into a good place in his thinking and mindset this last week, hearing that you were coming he was excited to see you. We even had plans to see the town tomorrow after breakfast to check out some stores, even go to Sawtooth National Park while you were here. Sam loved the place last time we were here, even shook and hit me a couple of times when he saw his favorite two animals. I was going to ask about a good trail to go on for Sam to walk on, with his leg still in the brace and on crutches. All that has change now cause of that asshole bastard coming here telling Sam lies, if he didn't leave I might would have done so serious damage to him."

"Jackson, we can still do those things you two want to once when Sam is up again, I will tell the hospital I'll be staying longer then planned. I'll still have to go back and get my car and clothes for a longer stay; I did leave suddenly without telling anyone where I was going. I will have to find a way to get back there to do so, I have a friend who owns a helicopter just need to get a hold of him. How is cell service here is it bad or good?"

"Depends on the where you are out here and the weather, some days I can get service other days I can't. It's better to go into town to make calls Matt it's an half hour drive, I can tell you how to get there an used the van. I don't want to leave Sam have to make sure he's okay Matt, let me get the keys for you-"

Jackson was cut off by Dean anger voice about staying here with him.

"Jackson it's better if you go with Matt then stay here at the moment, if it's just the two of us I just might beat the crap out of you. Once when you get back we are going to have a talk about what happen, and the lies that bastard of an Angel told you about me."

"He's right Jackson go get the keys and we'll head to town so I can call my friend."

Jackson knew Matt was right about leaving with him right now, seeing the hatred in Dean's eyes aiming at him. It's better to be gone until the older brother calms down, and for him to calm down from what had happen to Sam. With keys in hand him and Matt walked out the door to the van, leaving Dean alone with Sam to cool his fire inside of him.

Being alone now with his brother Dean walked into the man's room, sitting on his bed he looked at his brother real good. What he saw crushed his heart and soul seeing how worn his brother is, knowing that it was his actions that made Sam feel this way. Even with Sam being unconscious he can see the damage he's done to his brother, to anyone else they would see a peaceful man sleeping, to Dean he sees a younger brother who lost everything. Feeling his eyes burn with hot tears he didn't stop them from falling, he came to close of loosing his brother for good this time around. All of it had to do with his angered, betrayal, mistrust he had with his brother, and the words he spoke to him in anger slammed into hard in the chest. Even with his brother out he knows people can still here you talk to them, he had to let Sam know that no matter what he said he still loves his brother.

"Sammy, if you can hear me little brother please keep fighting kiddo, I know I hurt you in ways no one else could. I just couldn't let go on the way that I was feeling knowing what you didn't do, I wanted you to hurt as much as me even worse. Knowing that my words would make you feel like you are not loved, wanted, thinking that you lost the only family you have left in the world. I couldn't stop the fire that was inside of me Sam, it burned so bright and hot that I had to let it destroyed the one person I cared for. My anger was like hot red coals ready to burn you every chance I could get, leaving you with wounds that I knew that hurt you deep. I couldn't let go of that anger Sammy I felt like that you didn't care, that you would be better without me in your life anymore. When I heard that you just hooked up with some girl and a dog, living the life you always wanted away from your family I lost it. All those feelings from when we were kids, teenagers, adults all came back, the ones that you wanted to be away from dad and me. Being so selfish that you wanted to be by yourself only thinking what's best for you, brought a lot of arguing, fights, hurtful words to each other with you leaving us."

"I know saying that Benny was a better brother then you would hurt like hell, he had my back in Purgatory for the whole year I was there. He did become a brother to me through the hardships we went through, we trusted each other to have our backs when the going was tough. When I finally got out with Benny's help through the portal, we still kept that bond between us obrothers and friends. I felt so raw once when I came back topside, everything wasn't black and white anymore it was all shades of gray. That feeling never left me Sam the feeling that I had to keep guarded, it's so hard to get rid of that kind of feeling when you had to fight everyday. Fight to keep yourself alive with all the creatures that lived there, never knew where they would be coming from when they attack. Once when I got out I couldn't stop looking over my shoulders, or the shadows of buildings or trees thinking something will come and attack. Having you with me help ease some of the anxiety I was feeling all the time, wasn't the same kind when I had Benny watching my back since we been through it."

"I'm sorry for all the shit I said to you Sammy I didn't mean any of it, you know how I am always saying things without thinking. This time that won't work cause I knew what I was thinking and doing to you, wanted you to feel the pain that I felt those few months together. The curse penny hunt is what broke the camels back in a way, brought up all those hurt feeling I buried for so long with you. Brought back all the anger, hurt, betrayal, mistrust that I couldn't stand being with you, that's why I went with Benny on those hunts leaving you behind. That didn't mean that I didn't care about you Sammy cause I do, I got lost in all the feeling I was going through I had to get away. I love you little brother so much that at times it does hurt, that love has never died with me and it never will. Please Sammy keep fighting for me so I can fix this damage I cause, won't make it without you being by my side keeping me out of trouble. Don't give up on me Sammy there's so much we have to talk about once when you are awake, I'm going to fix our bond and brotherhood and nothing will tear us apart."

"I don't know what Castiel said to you Sam to make you think this is what I wanted, mark my words little brother he'll pay for this with his life. He's gone to far hurting you thinking taking you out is the best way to go, it's not by my book Sammy not in a long shot little brother. Once when I find him and I will find that asshole of an Angel, he's going to have a very painful death and I do know how to deal out pain. He's going to feel my wrath as a big brother for taking you away from me, and hurting you this bad don't sit right by me."

Sitting there he place his hand over Sam's heart feeling comfort from the beats under his hand, with his other hand he ran his fingers through his hair. He wasn't sure he was doing this to comfort Sam or himself right now, either way it's something that he needs to do to calm his ragging fire.

~~~000~~~

Pulling into the town Jackson found a place to pull over so Matt can make a phone call, he was hoping he would get a hold of his friend. Sitting there he watch as his friend pulled his phone from his pocket, opening it up he watch Matt dial the number waiting for the man to answer. Thankfully his friend did answer by the third ring, listening to the one side conversation he smile when his friend said let's go meet him. Waiting for Matt to tell him where to go after he's done talking, he'll stay in town while Matt goes for his things.

"Thanks John, for coming to get me where should we meet, I'll asked Jackson to take me there see you in five minutes." Finishing his phone called he close it, looking at Jackson as he put it away. "John will be here in five minutes he's in the next town over, he said to meet him over by the Southern Grocery Store. There's an empty spot for him to land his chopper there that won't be a problem, where is this place at Jackson how far is it."

"It's right down the street here the same place Sam and I go shopping, let's get going so we are not late for your friend."

Pulling back onto the road he headed for the grocery store, pulling into the parking lot he went to the further end. Getting out of the van they both waited for Matt's friend to show, Jackson had to know how long it will be for them to returned.

"Matt, would you know how long it will take you and your friend, to leave here to the hospital and back here."

"I'll ask him, Jackson so I can let you know when to come back and get me."

"I was going to stay here and wait for you instead of going back, this way I can get more groceries, and give Dean more time to cool off."

"That is a good idea man to stay here away from hot headed Dean, here he is friend let's go asked him shall we."

Once when the chopper landed Matt ran up to it with Jackson behind him, opening the door he said hi to his friend before asking him.

"Hey John, my friend here wanted to know how long will it take, to fly here to the hospital and back here."

"If the weather stays the way it is should only take an hour round trip, depends on how long it takes you to get your stuff."

"My stuff is in my car in the parking lot all I need to do it get my stuff, park my car in long term parking. Should only take me about ten minutes tops to do that, then back in the chopper and back here."

"If that is the case then it should only take forty-fifty minutes tops, let's just saw an hour to be on the safe side."

"That's fine Matt, I'll be waiting here for you to returned with your things, will have the grocery shopping done to. I'll let you go so you can get back as soon as you can, see you when you get back Matt."

Watching as the chopper lifted off he waited until he couldn't see it anymore, sending a quick prayer that his friend will return safe and sound. Walking away he went to the diner to get a late lunch before shopping with everything that had happen he lost track of time. When they returned to the cabin they'd all have a late dinner, which is if Dean is up to having anything to eat after what happen.

Walking down one of the isles Jackson saw Matt walking towards him, frowning when he didn't see his bags with him. When his friend stood next to him he told him they are in the van, the passenger side door was unlock so he put his stuff there.

"Matt, where's your things, you didn't bring them with you?"

"I forgot to lock my door Jackson when we met John, it was still open so I put my stuff in and locked it."

"I thought I locked all the doors when I came in weird, oh well let's get the shopping done so we can get back. Did you let them know you will be gone longer then planned."

"On the way back I called Arron and told him things have change, and I will be staying longer then I intended to. Don't worry Jackson I didn't tell him any thing about Sam, told him that plans has change and I wanted to stay longer."

"I knew you wouldn't say anything about Sam wasn't worried about that, was just wondering on what Arron had to say. He's out of his two good doctors for a week or so and short handed too, glad that he was understanding about it all."

"He understands how important this is to you to take care of Sam, having me here to help you lesson some of the weight. He's glad that you have a friend who would stop everything and come; I know you would do the same for me Jackson. Let's get going it's going to be late by the time we get back, Dean might have eaten you out of house and home." Matt said with a wink.

Between the two men they got the shopping done and back to the cabin in a half an hour, helping his friend put away the groceries before getting something for a late dinner. As they waited Jackson showed Matt where he was staying, telling him he's sorry for not making his bed when shit hit the fan. With help he got the bed done in no time and Matt settle in the room, walking out he headed for the kitchen to check up on dinner. Sitting down Matt notice Jackson staring into space with a sad smile, he knew what he's thinking he had to get him to open up about it.

"Jackson, what's the matter?"

"Sorry Matt, was thinking of the last time I was here with Dean and Sam, Jefferson and I stayed here in the loft for two days. We had so much fun so many good memories of what we did together; just hurts that Jefferson isn't here don't get me wrong I'm glad you are Matt. I miss my brother so much being here wish he was, sorry Matt didn't mean to be all sappy let's get dinner ready for us."

Stopping his friend Matt felt really bad for Jackson it's the first time he spoken about Jefferson, and his feelings he has for his big brother he had open up a little.

"Jackson don't be sorry for the hurt you are feeling right now about your brother, I'm not going to judge you if you cry about him. This place holds a lot of good memories for you and Jefferson, Dean and Sam my friend, now I can hear about some of them one day."

"That would be good to tell you a few things we've done here Matt, it's just that I miss him so damn much right now. Wish he was here he'll know what to do and what to say to me, he always knew the right words to say to make me feel good."

"That is what big brothers are for Jackson to help out their little brothers, I'll have to learn that while I'm here with you three. I may not be a brother by blood but I do feel like I'm your brother my friend, and that goes for Dean and Sam so I'm not really an only child now am I."

"No you are not an only child now Matt you got three extra brothers now, so lets go get the dinner ready moron for the three of us."

"Who are you calling a moron you idiot don't go laughing at me, fine do it yourself I'm going to the bathroom so there."

"You two sound like two five year old's calling each other names, what smells so good haven't eaten anything since this morning."

Dean walks out of the room as the two friends started to tease each other, watching as Matt went to the restroom and Jackson to the kitchen. Walking into the kitchen he help Jackson set the table for their meal, by the time Matt arrived back they had it all set up to eat. All three men sat at the table lost in their own thoughts, once when they finished they clean off the table and wash the dishes. Dean asked Matt to give Sam some more blood and check him over, he still didn't want Jackson near his brother just yet. Watching the doctor work on his brother he hope that there will be a change, when his friend was done they left the room to talk.

"How is Sam doing now, Matt?"

"He still the same Dean at least his pulse and heart rate went up a few numbers, the next twelve hours will tell us how he's going to go."

"I check his stitches while you guys were out to make sure no infection, did a great job sewing up the wound. I would really like to know what the hell happen here Jackson, with you, that Asstiel, Matt and my little brother. You better not leave a stone unturned on what happen here, and why Sammy thought killing himself was his way to go."

Dean said in a low and dangerous voice that made Matt worried for his friend, he too wanted to know what happen before he got here. Shaking his head Jackson told the two men to have a seat at the table, grabbing three sodas he sat down to tell Dean on what had happen here.

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

Jackson handed Matt and Dean a can of soda before he sat across from the older brother, opening his can he took a long sip of the cool beverage. What he had to say to Dean will piss off the older brother big time; he won't lie about what the Angel said to Sam to make him cut himself. He still have a fire in him still burning from it, he still wants to go and beat the crap out of the asshole that calls himself an Angel.

"Dean, before I tell you on what Castiel said to Sam to make him do-well you know what happen, there's something you need to know first on how Sam was. I got Sam into a good place with his depression and mindset, we were getting things ready for Matt to come and visit us. Just this morning Sam was making breakfast for the both of us, he tried to make omelets for us when he couldn't he just scramble them. I watch him letting him doing it by his own getting it all ready, when he sway a little I went to help him finished the meal. The rest of the day we spent cleaning the cabin doing some laundry in town, Sam looked forward to see Matt and spend time with him. We even made plans from when he would come tomorrow; we were going to take him to town to look at some stores. There were a few that Sam wanted to check out with Matt, we even planned on going to Sawtooth National Park for a half of day. Since we've been here for a month now Sam mindset was bad Dean real bad, we had our few fights, name calling, telling each other things we shouldn't. We both knew it was just our anger and hurt coming out, we talked about the next day after we said things to each other. Yesterday was one of the best days Sam has had while we were here, during his therapy session is when we talked about what he wanted to do. Seeing the excitement in his eyes about Sawtooth reminded me of younger Sam, I knew Matt and I had to get him over there I couldn't denied him that."

"All of the hard work I did to get Sam to this place he was in last night and this morning, all went to hell when that bastard Castiel showed up. I still don't know how he knew where we were since I didn't tell him; Jim did talked about me taking Sam here and for Castiel to stay away. I doubt that Jim would tell that piece of shit where his cabin is, one moment we are sitting there enjoying a quiet time before lunch. Then the next thing I know that damn Angel was here telling Sam lies about you, I had a feeling you might go after the hunters who hurt Sam. I was not going to tell him that no matter he didn't need to know, I knew deep down you would kill them and so would Sam so I didn't say a word. When Cas showed up it did startle me at first not used to him just showing up like that, Sam looked confused as to why he would be here. As I talked to Castiel about getting the hell out of here he totally ignored me, his focus was all on Sam, which worried me greatly Dean. He said that he has news for Sam about you, when I heard that told him no since you are not here to defend yourself. Sam even told Castiel to leave he didn't want to hear it, specially if it's anything about Dean he wasn't ready to hear it. I'm sorry Dean I don't mean to hurt you in any way, Sam wasn't ready to talked about you just yet."

"Castiel didn't listen to anything that Sam had to say about not talking about you, he even stood his ground to the Angel. Cas kept insisting that he talks to Sam about you and what happen to those two hunters, I could see Sam tense when he mention Tim and Reggie even looked over at me. I told Sam that I have no clue on what the Angel is talking about, even told that asshole to shut up he didn't listen to me. He told Sam you were out of control you were when you killed those hunters, that you gutted them like wild animals for fun, and then burned down the house with them in it. Sam was shaking up by what he heard from the angel, even said you wouldn't do it just for him since you hate him. What he said next made my blood boiled like hot lava, I went to get a knife I hide from Sam to stabbed him with it. He told Sam that you did it for your own revenge since you left him to the hunters, that you left him for Benny to be his partner and brother. Even said that you were on your way here to finish what you started, getting Sam out of your life once and for all so you can have your freedom of him."

"Dean I need to asked this question on what some was said, are you going to finish Sam off for Benny? Did you kill those hunters for your own revenge, or for what they did to Sam I have to know Dean."

Jackson watch Dean carefully on what he was telling him about what the Angel said to Sam, he could see the anger burning bright in Dean with every word. The fire in his eyes grew brighter with everything that Cas has said, he knew there would be a big explosion coming from the man and boy did it come.

"No Jackson, I did not choose Benny over Sam like Asstiel has said I did, why would I finish off my brother when I'm trying to fix the damage I done to him. The only persons I'm going to finished off is Benny and Castiel, for what they did to my brother on the lies they said about me. As for the hunters yes I did get revenge on them for Sam, on what they did to him while they had him for however long. They told me some of the things they have done to him so he could scream, well that got what was coming to them and more after I was done. Wish I didn't end their life so fast now that I saw the scares on Sam's body, made my fire burn stronger on what they really did to Sammy."

"I got a question for you Jackson, where were you when Sam tried to kill himself?"

Dean really wanted to know where was the man when Sam cut himself.

"When Sam left the room he close the door behind him while I block Castiel, wasn't going to let that piece of shit near Sam again. Told that Angel he better leave and stay the hell away from Sam, if anything happens to my friend I will hunt his ass down and kill him. Needless to say he didn't like that answer which I didn't care if he did, after he left I knock on Sam's door asking him if I could come in. When he didn't response is when I open the door and saw him on the floor, covered in his own blood as the fluid pooled around him. I grabbed the sheet off his bed as I rushed to his side to stop the bleeding, as it seep through the sheet and my fingers I yell for Castiel. Telling him to get his feather ass back here to get Matt, he placed a hand over Sam's head before he left which I told him to stay away. I called Matt telling him what happen and I needed help, after I talked to Matt I kept begging too Sam to keep fighting. Don't remember much after that I was totally focusing on keeping Sam alive, next thing I knew Matt was there with Sam on the bed. When I finally was aware of things there was one thing I needed to do, I got off the bed went into the living room to beat the crap out of Castiel. Before I could do more damage to the son of a bitch he disappeared, Matt got me to calm down enough to talked to him. That was when you came in angry as hell as I never seen you, and everything went black."

"One thing you need to know Dean is that with Jackson holding the sheet over Sam's arms, and with him holding down hard over the wounds saved Sam's life. If it wasn't for my friend over here Sam won't be here right now, I know you are angry as hell at what happen and blame Jackson for it. It's not his fault young man on what happen to Sam, it's that stupid fucked up angel that did this to your brother Dean. Even being that anger at Castiel for what he said about you that are lies to Sam, he called him back here to get me to help save your brother. If I ever see you hit my friend that hard again Dean like you did, I'm going to hit you just as hard as you did to Jackson. Another thing you need to know is this one thing Dean, and I'm proud of my friend for going up against that Angel, he beat the crap out of him. I couldn't stop the smile that was on my face as I watch him beat Castiel, I was never more proud of him then I was when I saw that-what are you smiling about Dean."

"You just reminded me so much of Jefferson just now Matt I could see him sitting there, sorry Jackson I don't mean to bring his name in this. So you beat the crap out of Castiel good for you wish I was here to see it, don't mean that I trust you with Sam just yet Jackson will take a while."

Dean saw the hurt in the man's eyes when he said he didn't trust him with Sam, right now that wasn't his concern his brother is his concern. It's going to take some time for Dean to trust Jackson with Sam, now that he's here with his little brother he's going to be Sam's care giver. He will allow Matt in the room to check Sam over, as for Jackson he's going to be away from Sam until he feels it's safe to be with his brother. Getting up from the chair he was tired of the long car ride here, he's going to take a shower and head to bed. He will be sleeping in Sam's room to keep watch over his brother; he'll have Matt check him over before he heads to bed.

Leaving the living room Dean went outside to the Impala to get his things, coming back inside he made sure Jackson was still at the table. Taking his things into the room he came back out with his sleeping clothes, getting his shower in he called Matt to the room to check up on Sammy.

Watching Dean leave the cabin Matt glance over at Jackson to see how he's doing, hearing Dean telling his friend that he felt bad for him. He can see how upset his friend is on what the older brother told him, at the same time he can see Jackson kicking himself for what happen. Hearing Dean calling him to the room he got up to check on Sam, bringing in the third liter of blood and fluids he check Sam over. When he was done he told Dean what he did to get Sam through the night.

"Dean, I'm going to slow the drip of the blood and fluid on Sam for the night, the bags should last him the night being this slow. If anything happens come and get me no matter what the time is, his vitals are better his blood pressure will still be low. Hopefully by tomorrow we should see improvements on Sam's blood pressure and heart rate, I'll see you in the morning Dean if it all goes well."

"Thanks Matt for keeping an eye on Sammy for me at the moment with everything, right now I don't want Jackson near Sam don't care if it hurts him. It was his fault this happen to Sammy-don't want to hear it Matt, told Jackson what would happen if anything goes wrong with my brother. This shouldn't have happen to my brother to begin with, if Jackson was doing his job like he was suppose to be doing."

"Dean we'll talk more about this in the morning when we all have a good sleep, I know things won't change between you two over night. Just know this Dean and listen carefully to what I have to say, Jackson was the one who saved Sam's life for the actions he did. If it wasn't for our friend young man Sam won't be here, think of that tonight before you go and judge Jackson for something he had no control over."

With that Matt walked out of the room leaving the two brothers by themselves, walking up to his friend who still sitting at the table. He had to tell his friend a few things on what happen to Sam, and that it wasn't his fault no matter what Dean says. Before Matt could get a word out Jackson spoke up first.

"Matt Dean is right I should have stop Castiel sooner then I did then this wouldn't have happen, I should have tried harder to get him out of the room or stabbed him sooner. Should have check up on Sam as soon as he left the room, then I could have stop him from almost killing himself."

"Jackson none of this is your fault on what happen to Sam cutting himself, this lays on Castiel for telling lies about Dean. You did what a friend should have done by protecting Sam from Castiel, you stabbed that bastard to stop him, and then you beat the crap out of him. If anyone is to be blamed here it's that damn Angel not you, Dean is piss and worried of loosing Sam especially after what he walked into. He's talking through his anger with everything that has happen the last two months, let's see how things are in the morning you need some rest my friend."

"You are right Matt it's Castiel fault for what happen to Sam today, I still blame myself for what happen to him. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day and Sam will look better, see you in the morning Matt going to go lay down."

Matt watch Jackson walked to his room with the weight of the world on his shoulders, he wish he could say something to help cheer his friend up. Throwing away the cans he went to the bathroom to take his shower, he was about to give Jackson some sleeping medicine decided against it. With him being hit so hard in the head from Dean, then under the stress of Sam suicide he didn't think it was a good idea. Laying in bed he hope that tomorrow will be a better day for all four men, closing his eyes he realized just how quiet it is being here.

~~~SPN~~~

Coming from a good night sleep in a warm soft bed Matt laid there with his eyes closed, he excepted to hear car horns, buses stopping, trucks roaring down the road. Instead he only heard was silence it felt so weird to him not to hear the morning noises, he now can understand why Jackson loved it so much here. Opening his eyes he looked around the room he was in, with a lite glow of the sun coming through the window. Staring up at the brown worn ceiling that has seen better days back when Jim was here, he turned his head to the left seeing an old wooden dresser in the corner. Had a few books along with pictures of Jim and family, he assumes they are family members of Jim's or friends. To his right there was an old wooden desk and chair, where the good Pastor would sit and write down things. Next to the bed was the nightstand with a small yellow lamp on top, next to the lamp was an old bible that he assumes was the pastors. Getting up he walked to the door opening it slowly he looked around the room, to his left was a door he walked over to opening it to see what was there. Seeing a porch with a generator with a pile of wood in the corner, closing the door quietly he saw a ladder to leads to the loft. He'll check that room out later when he has some coffee; going to Jackson room he peeked in on his friend. Seeing that he was sound asleep he check up on Dean who was sound asleep facing his brother, he'll check up on Sam once when Dean is up not before hand. Walking into the kitchen he got some coffee going, making a full pot for everyone to have a cup when they get up. As he waiting for the coffee to brew he looked at his watch, he was shock to see it was 9:00 in the morning.

When the coffee was done he took a cup and went outside, sitting on the porch he listen to the calls of nature that were there. Hearing the birds chirping happily away in the forest, to the Squirrels chattering away, the lapping of the water on the shore of the lake. As he drank his coffee he looked around the area before him, yesterday there was so much going on he didn't really see anything. Now he sitting here looking at the beauty before him, and the peace that is around the cabin he wants to check out. Stepping off the porch he walked around the building to the lake a few feet away, glancing over the water that looks like blue ice he saw a mountain. Taking in all the beautiful colors that surrounding the water, from the mountain with a snow peek, to the emerald green evergreen trees, to the brown/green oaks and maple trees that line the lake. What top it all off was the reflection of it all on the water before him, he wish he had a camera to take a picture of all the colors around him. Turning around he saw more evergreen trees and foothills of the mountains with the cabin snuggle in the middle, he understands now why Jackson love it so much here so peaceful it draws you right into it.

Looking back over the lake again he remember seeing a picture of this, it's on Jackson desk back at the hospital in Boise. This was the view the picture was taken of him, Jefferson, Dean and Sam, when they came to see the brothers before Jefferson had to go home. He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't hear Jackson walking up to him, not until he was standing next to him drinking his own coffee. Both friends stood there looking over the lake lost in their own thoughts, Matt was the first one to break the silence between the two men.

"Jackson I can see now why you love it so much here, it's so beautiful and peaceful here you can get lost in it."

"Yes you can, Matt, I love being here again brings back so many good memories, Jefferson and I even came here again a few days to be brothers. Was a couple of years after Sam and Dean were here with Bobby and Jim, was just the two of us having a great time being brothers. We hike some of the trails near here saw some of the local animals, got to be careful of the Moose's specially the mothers with their calves. Dumb ass Jefferson found that out the hard way even when he knew not to, scared him so bad that it made me laugh at the look on his face. He was so angry at me for making fun of him when he ran, I couldn't help it he looked like a five year old running from a snake. He got back at me though getting to close to a white tail deer doe, not even seeing her fawn until I was on top of it. She came charging at me full speed knocking me down, Jeff made sure she didn't hurt me in any way he got me good that day."

Jackson said with a huge smile on his face as he remembers those two hikes, it felt like yesterday when that happen to them. He couldn't stop the laugh that came from deep inside of him seeing his brother face, he hasn't laugh that hard in a long time it felt good to let it out. Looking over at Matt who was laughing himself at the story he told, standing there a little longer as the memory faded from Jackson mind. Hearing a growl he glance over at Matt who smirk do to his stomach, Jackson couldn't help himself and tease Matt about it.

"For a minute there Matt I thought there was a bear close by, was about to run to the cabin leaving you behind." Jackson laughs as Matt tried to hit him.

"Funny Jackson was that your stomach growling or was that another bear smart ass." Matt tease his friend when his stomach growl.

"Let's go inside and make us some breakfast before Dean wakes up, when he's hunger it's like a bear with a bad toothache."

Both men walked back into the cabin to make their first meal of the day, as Jackson went to the kitchen Matt headed to the bathroom. Getting all the fixing out of the fridge and freezer he started to make pancakes, when Matt returned he helped his friend finished their meal before Dean came out.

First thing Dean did when he open his eyes was to check up on Sam, getting out of bed he stepped the short distance. Sitting next to Sam he looked his brother over carefully, what he saw got him worried for his little brother. His cheeks have a lite pink color to them which means a fever, checking the stitches on his arm he didn't see any infection. There were no swelling or red marks to show any kind of infection, feeling his forehead he did feel some warmth to his brother skin. Getting up he went to get Matt to check Sammy over; hopefully he brought some antibiotics he can give Sam before he gets worse. Stepping out of the room he walked into the kitchen to see Matt and Jackson, getting the man's attention he asked him to check up on his brother.

"Matt, can you please come and check Sammy over he's has a low grade fever, I don't see any kind of infection on his stitches. Did you bring any antibiotic to give him I don't want this to get worse, I know how Sam is always a drama queen when he's feeling sick."

"I did bring some Dean let me go get it and check Sam over and see if he needs more blood, it could be just his body fighting the drama it took yesterday."

Going to the bag he brought from the hospital he grabbed a needle and bottle of antibiotic, putting the needle in he drew the amount he would need. Checking Sam over he carefully check the wound to make sure there was no signs of infection, checking his heart rate, blood pressure and pulse he was happy to see the numbers have gone up. Changing the blood bag and fluid he gave Sam some penicillin to help fight any kind of infection, he rather be safe then to have one sneak up on them. After he was done he told Dean that Sam is fine and doing better, it's his body attacking itself from yesterday blood lost.

"Sam has no infection Dean it's his body fighting on what happen yesterday, I did give him some penicillin to be on the safe side. His pulse, blood pressure and heart rate went up during the night, he's doing the best he can Dean I'll check him again in two hours."

"Good to hear that Sammy is doing better today even if it's a little, I'll take that over not changing at all if everything that has happen. Let me clean the wounds with alcohol then put some cream on them, before I rewrapped them with gauze have to make sure nothing happens."

"I can do that Dean while you get yourself ready for breakfast and for the day, I'll be careful with him as I clean the sutures real good."

"Just make sure you don't hurt him in any way Matt I will know if you did, my brother has been hurt enough by to many people."

Taking one last look at Sam Dean left the room heading to the bathroom, grabbing his clothes as he left the room. Taking a hot shower help release some of the stress he's been feeling, next will be food and coffee to get him going.

Watching as Dean left the room Matt started to clean the stitches on Sam's arms, being as careful as he can without ripping any out. After he was done and before putting the antibiotic cream on the wound, he check it carefully one more time to make sure no infection. Applying the cream he grabbed the gauze off the nightstand, wrapping both arms with clean material before he taped it off. Collecting all the material he walked out the door to the kitchen, putting all the supplies away and throwing away the needle in a bag. Going back he help Jackson finished making the breakfast for everyone, between the two they got their meal on the table when Dean walks in. All three men ate their meal with no words spoken to the other; when they were done Matt and Dean clean off the table, while Jackson washed the dishes. After everything was clean up pouring more coffee into their cups, Jackson and Matt went outside to sit on the porch. Both friends sitting there lost in their own thoughts while sipping their beverage, Matt hoped that Jackson will talk more about Jefferson being here. He won't push his friend into talking about his brother, he let him do it himself like he did at the lake. It was nice to hear some of the things he did with Jefferson, glancing over he saw a smile on Jackson lips knowing it was about his brother. Before he could say anything Dean walked out grabbing a chair he sat next to Matt, sipping his own coffee he glance over at his two friends seeing Jackson smiling. He knew whom his friend was thinking of his brother, before Dean could let Matt know about their time here Jackson started.

"When Jeff and I came here to visit Sam and Dean for two days, I thought we would never get here, with my brother taking his time. Arriving here for the first time we both could see why Jim loved it here, as we approach the door Jim was they're letting us in for our stay. We sat down waiting for Dean and Sam to show up, Jim told us what to do so we don't make Sam uncomfortable with us. As we ate we both started to tease each other, it worked to get Sam more used to us hearing his giggle made us feel good. Of course we got in trouble with Bobby for starting the bantering, which lead Dean and Sam into doing it to. We were told to get wood to chop it up for the fire at night; Sam and I went to the edge of the woods to collect the wood. As we did he kept his distance from me as we walked and pick up the wood, he startled me when he asked me something that Dean has told him. It was the first time he spoke to me being under my care, he talk so quietly like he would get in trouble if he talked louder. I told him that I was so proud of him for coming back from the injuries and abuse, I knew he didn't believe me by the look he gave me after I said it. The whole time we were there he would looked over at the cabin, making sure that Dean was in his sights the whole time. As we walked back we help Dean and Jefferson cut and pile the wood, as we cleaned up the mess and put the tools away Bobby came calling us in for lunch. Sam asked me if I would play ball with him after we have our meal, I told him that I would love to play ball as long as he liked."

"After we had our meal Sam went to get the ball from his room, if we moved to fast it would make Sam jump. Specially being in the cabin where there was no room to get away, so we made sure we move slow and have Sam ahead of us. As we went outside we stood away from the building to throw the ball, we even played monkey in the middle with our brothers. Not sure how long we played had to be at least two hours or more, when we got too hot we got our swimming shorts on for a swim. We wrestle each other with me on Jefferson shoulders, and Sam on Dean's shoulders, we didn't go out to far. After we got bored of that we race each other to see who would win, I would always make sure Sam won our races we had. Jim called us out of the water to have dinner outside of hotdogs and hamburgers, when we got cleaned up and dishes done we went inside to watch two movies. They were Star Wars and Indiana Jones Sam's two favorite movies, after we watch one of them Jim brought out fixing of S'Mores for desert. Sam showed me how to make mine I didn't stop he let him do mine, he was finally getting at ease with me I couldn't ruin that. After we watch both movies and was getting ready for bed, Sam asked me if he wanted to go on a hike the next day. Seeing the excitement in his eyes I told him yes that I would, hearing a happy yes from his chocolate cover mouth I knew I did the right thing. The next morning Jefferson and I were woke up from an excited Sam, yelling for us to come down to eat breakfast. After we cleaned up the breakfast dishes and Jim made the lunches, we headed off to the park with Dean, Sam and I in the back seat."

"During the first half of the hike Sam took pictures of some of the animals we saw, he had his heart set on seeing a wolf and bear. When it came for us to have our lunch he was sad he hasn't seen those two, Jim and Dean both told him those will be further down the trail in the meadows not the woods. I was hoping that Sam would see those two animals he wanted to see; as we got there I could hear a sad sigh coming from him. I felt so bad for the boy he had his heart set on seeing a wolf and bear, next thing I heard was a high pitch scream, and a hard hit to my arm. He started to shake me so hard I thought my arm would get pulled out of socket, as he pointed I saw what got him so excited was a small pack of wolves. He explain to me how the wolf pack structure is and who leads them on hunts, and who takes care of the young pups while the others are hunting. He got sad when the animals left the area of us watching them, as I turned to Jefferson I got hit in the arm again hard. I turned to see Sam shaking Dean as hard as he shake me, I look to see what got him so crazy this time it was a bear sow with cubs. We watch the mother and cub walked down into the meadow before he walked away, we didn't want her to feel threaten by us in any way. As we walked further down the path we came across a young cougar, I would have thought that Sam would jump out of his skin seeing the cat. That day he got to see his two favorite animals the wolves and bears, and got to see an animal that anyone hardly sees a cougar. He was so happy that day and it brought us closer as friends, which I'm happy for, on the way home he couldn't stop talking about seeing those animals. He was sad that I had to leave with Jefferson to go back to work, we promise Jim that we should get back together again the six of us. Sadly that never happen with Jefferson and mine work schedule couldn't make it work, then Jim passed away, then Bobby passed away. Jeff and I were going to asked Dean and Sam if they wanted to met us at the cabin, after we had our vacation to Wyoming that we already had plans for. Sadly that wasn't going to happen after I huge fight we had, then loosing Jefferson due to my bruised ego telling him those words. I wish I never said that to my brother those last four words to him, wish he was here now he'll know what to say to me to make me feel better."

Jackson stop talking when he talked about their fight, blinking the tears away only to have them run down his cheeks. Setting his cup down he wipe the tears off his cheeks taking a deep breath, he knew that Matt or Dean won't tease him for it. Taking a deep breath he looked over at his two friends who sat quietly listening to him, before he could say anything Dean spoke up telling him something about his brother.

Dean and Matt sat there listening to Jackson talked about their time up here, when he and Jefferson came by to see Sam and Dean. Matt listen and smile on some of the things they did and what Sam did to him, Dean lost in his own memory about that day with a smile on his face. Hearing him talking about the last time he talked to his brother, he knew it was the right time to tell Jackson about his talk with Jefferson.

"Jackson there's something I need to talk to you about, it has to do with Jefferson-"

"What do you mean Dean? What has to do with Jefferson?"

Jackson cut off Dean when he heard his brother name being said, he wasn't sure if he was going to like this.

"Let me explain Jackson before you cut me off okay, this happen four days when I saw your brother. He came to me after I killed those hunters for what they did to Sammy; I was at my hotel room coming from the bathroom. I felt someone there so I grabbed for my gun with salt bullets, when I saw it was Jefferson I lowered my weapon. He stepped up to me asking well I should say telling me to sit down, he still a pain in the ass even being a ghost a bossy one at that. He sat across from me telling me about the fight you had, and some of the things you guys talked about especially about your dad. Don't worry I won't go into details Jackson on what happen there, he said that you both got into a few arguments over it. Never went to pay respects to your father after his passing which up set Jeff, he understands why since you two were not that close. Went into all the things you two did being there for your graduations, going on vacations spending time being brothers when you can. He told me about the last fight you two had the night before, which he was to come home after work to hash out your problems together. Then he did get a phone call from a hunter who needed help with two hunters, who did get attack by a pack of werewolves they needed someone who wouldn't asked questions."

"He told them that he had to get back to you to talk about your problems, that you were more important then the two hunters that were hurt. The man wouldn't let it go Jackson he hounded your brother until he gave in, told him that he'll go there help his two friends then get back to you. He really wanted to fix the damage that was between you two, he wanted to be brothers again Jackson that was the only thing he thought of. From what he told me the hunter told your brother would be an easy in and out, no one knew about the other two werewolves that attack Jefferson that night. He planned on being home by eight to talk to you, he even stress how important it was to him to be there for you. If they didn't agree to that he was going to come home, his thoughts were on you Jackson not the hunters he went to help. If the tables were turned you were in Jefferson shoes you would do the same, that is how your brother is and so are you my friend. His last thoughts as he laid dying on the ground trying to breath from the open chest wound, was you Jackson was the last thing he thought about. He told me that you would hate him for what he did, or that you thought he would hate you as he laid dying on the ground."

"One thing he wanted to tell you is this Jackson and it's true my friend, that Jefferson never hated you when you two didn't talked to each other. There was a lot of hurt feelings and open wounds that made it hard for you both, he knows that you don't hate him were just angry at him from all of it. He wish he never went to go help those two hunters that night, he wanted to come straight home to be with you as a brother. He loves you Jackson no matter what he had said in the past or that night, that love he has for you never died that day. You can feel his love Jackson I can see it when you think of him, he's still in your heart and soul my friend."

As Dean told Jackson about his visit from Jefferson he could see all kinds of emotions coming from the man, to be honest with himself there's a lot of him and Sam in that too. He waited to see or hear what Jackson would have to say to him, he didn't have to wait that long before the words came.

"H-He said that Dean that he don't hate me that he still loves me."

"Yes Jackson that is the truth this is something I won't lie about, Jefferson still loves you he could never hate you."

"I-I thought after everything we said or what I said he would hate me for it, I hate myself for what I said to him that night. Wish I never did said those words to him and he was right no what he told me, that he really wanted to come home to be brothers again."

Feeling a sob coming deep from inside his chest Jackson couldn't stop it, once when the tears came there was no way of stopping them. Placing his face in his hands he cried from all the things he heard, his brother didn't hate him, he wanted to come home that day, that he still loves his brother. Feeling arms around him from Dean and Matt Jackson cried from all the emotions he's feeling, his two friends held him close giving him the comfort he needed.

Two days has passed since Jackson break down on the porch on what he heard, he still has his moments that felt like he would get swallow up by them. Dean has finally let him be in the room with Sam checking him over, it was getting to wear down the older brother that Sam hasn't awaking yet. Both Jackson and Matt told Dean it took a lot out of Sam, loosing so much blood that he needed four liter to put it back. The stress Sam was under and his depression he is fighting has taken a toll on him, his body needs the time to recover from all the strain it's been under. Dean was scared that Sam would never wake from this that he's giving up on fighting to come back to them to him. Matt told Dean to talk to Sam give him a reason to come back, let him know that he's not alone in this battle he can come from. Sitting next to Sam Dean carded his fingers through his hair in a comforting way, placing his other hand over his heart to feel the beats. Looking at his brother he could feel the tears burning the back of his eyes, he didn't stop them from coming down his cheeks dropping onto Sam's hand. Clearing his throat he had things he needs to say to his brother, things he hopes that Sam is listening to to fight to come back.

"Sammy, please fight to come back don't give up little brother please don't give up, I know you are in a lot of pain cause of me. I couldn't let it go Sam all the hurt I was in from everything that happen, I took it out on you in my anger knowing it would hurt you. I could see the damage that I was doing to you Sammy, and at the time I didn't care how much you hurt from it."

"I know the wrongs I did to you little brother I want to make them right, I want to fix our brotherhood I broke. For me to do that you need to wake up Sammy so I can, I'm going crazy here kiddo seeing you like this. I don't hate you tiger I could never hate you no matter what my action were, I love you so damn much Sam believe me I do. I can't do this without little brother I wouldn't make it if you die, I won't be to far behind you I would be eating a bullet. Please Sammy fight for me come back to me little brother please-"

Laying his head on Sam's chest he let the tears come as he cried, his shoulders shaking with each sob that came. His tears soaking Sam's shirt as he let all his emotions out on his brother, he was lost in his grief he didn't see Matt or Jackson next to him. Both with tears in their eyes knowing what Dean said was true, if Sam's dies Dean will follow right behind him that was for sure.

Dean wasn't sure what woke him from his sleep as the fog clear his mind, opening his eyes he saw Sam's chest and chin as his head laid on his shoulder. Looking around to see if Matt or Jackson was near by that woke him, seeing just him and Sam he wonder what could have woke him. It was when he moved to sit up is when he saw Sam's hand twitch, eyes going wide he looked up at his face to see his eyes moving back and forth. All signs of Sammy waking up Dean knew each and every move he makes; waiting with baited breath he kept a close eye on his little brother as he stirred awake. Seeing his eye lids flutter open what he saw made his heart hurt, he saw two hazel blurry eyes looking at him that turned into fear. Hearing his brother's breathing pick up he knew he's going to have a panic attack; he had to get his brother to calm down before he does have an attack. As he talked to his brother he couldn't stop the panic that set in, that is when he had to call Matt and Jackson in to help Sam.

"Sammy, are you with me open you eyes little brother, that's it Sammy open your eyes-hey calm down kiddo-please Sam calm down take short shallow breaths-please Sammy come on don't do this to me."

"Jackson and Matt, Sammy needs help please hurry he can't breathe."

TBC


	32. Chapter 32

**THERE WILL BE ABUSE IN THIS CHAPTER ON WHAT JACKSON WENT THROUGH, JEFFERSON WOULD SEE WHAT THEIR DAD DID TO HIS BROTHER. WON'T GO INTO DETIALS JUST HIT THE SURFACE ON THE ABUSE HE TOLD JEFFERSON; JIM HAD TO SHOW THE OLDER BROTHER ON WHAT HAPPEN. SINCE HE STILL HAS ANGER TOWARDS HIS KID BROTHER, NOW THE TRUTH IS OUT ON WHAT JACKSON WENT THROUGH. WILL BE HIGH LIGHTED IN BIG BOLD LETTERS WHERE IT WILL START, WASN'T GOING TO ADD THIS I WENT WITH THE STORY.**

Matt and Dean sat there holding Jackson as he cried over the news of Jefferson, both men didn't move until Jackson told them he was okay. Sitting back in their chairs both men stayed close to their friend for comfort, letting Jackson know they are going to be there for him to give him the strength. Dean felt his eyes burn with tears hearing his friend crying like that, knowing that is how his own brother is feeling from his actions. Looking over at Matt who is keeping a close eye on his close friend, he saw the worried look in his eyes as he kept close to Jackson. Matt kept a keen eye on Jackson as he broke down in tears, his heart went out to his friend as he heard the deep sobs coming from him. Seeing more then feeling Dean next to his friend, they both hug him close giving comfort in the only way they knew how. Matt knew hearing about what Jefferson had to say to Dean about Jackson, would hit his friend hard with his emotions, he was right. After letting him go when he said that he's okay, Matt stayed close to him he didn't want to be to far away right now. Hearing a shaking sigh coming from the man in question, both Dean and Matt kept waiting to see what Jackson would do.

Feeling the warm arms of his two friends encircling him in a tight hug as he sob his heart out, Jackson let out all his emotions out on what he just heard about Jefferson. He wasn't sure how long he sat there crying like a baby; hearing that his brother didn't hate him, that he still loved him was to much for him. All the pain he felt from that fateful day came back to drown him in sorrow and gladness, he wasn't sure if he was crying knowing Jeff still loved him, or that his brother didn't hate him after all. When he finally found his voice he told his friends that he was okay, feeling the warmth leave him he long for it to come back. Feeling the love from his two friends from their hug he felt safe and content, when the warmth left he was back to the hard world of not having his brother. Wiping the tears from his face he looked out at the forest, his mind was flooded with memories of him and Jefferson doing stuff as brothers. His heart swell with warm feelings of love that took his breath away, knowing it was the love he has for Jefferson he thought he lost. Feeling that love again after all these years of heartache and coldness, he now knows that Jefferson loved his little brother unconditionally. Taking a deep shaky breath he had to let his friends know, he just had to get the lump out of his throat first to talk. Clearing his throat taking a drink of his now cold coffee to wet his dry throat, he hope his voice didn't sound to horse after his crying.

"D-Dean thank you for telling me about what Jefferson said to you about me, you are right about one thing I do know deep down he loved me. After all the hurtful words that we said to each other along with the hits, I thought for sure I lost Jefferson love and brotherhood we once had. At the time there was to much anger and hurt to feel it, being here with Sam has shown me that I still love Jefferson. I wish he was here right now so I can tell him myself, I miss my brother so damn much that it hurts to breath at times. I want him back, you know."

"I do know what you mean Jackson I want Sammy back as my brother, I know it's going to take a long time for that to happen. I miss my little whinny, pain in the ass, geeky, smart-ass brother so much, it's my fault that Sam is the person he is right now from my actions. If I could bring Jefferson back to you Jackson I would do it, I know that lost of loosing a brother from angered and hurtful words."

"If I could bring your brother back to you Jack I would do it too, seeing you all these years beating yourself up hurts me. I don't know what it's like to have a brother then to loose him like you did, if it's the way that I've been feeling lately I'm glad that I don't. I'm not saying that to be mean so please don't take it that way Jack, I see how you been over the last few years fighting that lost of a brother. I told myself that I'm glad that I'm an only child, which I don't have to know that feeling of lost of a loved one. These last few weeks have change my thinking on that about brotherhood, seeing it with you, Sam and Dean allowing me in as a brother has changed me. Now I do have three brothers that I love and would protect against anything, I have never had this kind of feelings with other friends of mine just you three."

"If this what it means to have brothers I'm in it for the long hall all the ups and downs, I seen you both go through so much with each other some good some bad. You two still stay as friends/brothers through all the angered, hurtful words, tempers, hitting even threats, still you two are close as siblings can be with a little issues that need to be address. I don't know what I got myself into but I'm glad that I did, now I'm not a only child I do have a family even if it's a little dysfunctional."

"Dysfunctional is the right word for us Matt that will explain all of us to a tee, living the life that Sammy and I live you have to be dysfunctional to survive in it. We have had our ups and downs through the years, some good, and some bad, through it all we had each other backs in the fights. Now I'm wondering if I can ever get that back with Sammy, or if I am good enough to him to call him Sammy anymore. I have broken my brother in ways that no one else could ever do, in ways that I'm hoping that I can fix in time with him."

"There's something you should know Dean on what Sam said to me about you, he said that in a small way he hope there's a chance you two can be brothers. He's scared that he ruined what you two boys had in the past, with all the disappointments he has done to you Dean he thinks you don't want to be brothers."

"I want to be his brother Jackson that part has never change no matter how angry I was, I know I said some words that cut him so deep they won't heal. Knowing what it would do to him to hear me so those things to him, wish I could take all those words back I said to him tell him none of them are not true. Right now he won't believe in anything I will tell him the pain is to raw for him, I'm beating myself up over my action the last four months and the past. When the time is right we'll both sit down and talk out our differences, will take time to get our brotherhood back on track I'll be here all the way to help him."

"I know you will Dean that is one promise I know you will keep, you need to be aware he might freak once when he sees you. Castiel did tell him that you were coming to kill him so you can be free, I got a feeling that is why Sam did what he did Dean. Thinking if he killed himself you wouldn't have to come over to do it, I know deep down you could never take your brothers life no matter what. With what the hunters told Sam, the hateful words you told him, how much of a disappointment he's been to you. To Sam he's not worth being here he really thinks we all be happy if he's gone, no matter how many times I told him that is not true at all. I have talked with a friend of mine a few times with us being here, Jacob said Sam will be feeling this way with his depression and suicidal thoughts. Every time Sam said that he wanted to kill himself I felt like I was disappointing him, that I wasn't being a good enough friend to make him feel like he belongs here. My friend told me that what I've been doing is right and not to give up, that Sam can't help himself feeling this way with his emotions being so out of whack."

"Jacob said that he would come up and talk with Sam on how he is feeling, he said that a person who isn't a friend could get him to open. I just might call him and see if he can come up for a few days, I don't know how to handle what happen to Sam, Dean I never seen what Sam did first hand."

"Walking into the room to see what Sam did would do a number on you Jack, that is the first time this has happen to you my friend. When I came got here you were so focus on keeping Sam alive, you didn't even notice or hear me when I talk to you. Even when I put my hand on your arm you never not once looked up, you looked at Sam with a blank stare Jackson there was nothing there. I got worried that I lost you since I couldn't get any kind of response; I tried to get you to let go of his left arm so I can sew it up. Even when I tried to pry you fingers off his arm so I can look at the cut, I finally had to grab your face and force you to look at me. Only then is when I got any kind of response from you Jack, even then I still had a hard time of you letting go of Sam."

"When I saw Sam sitting there with blood around him I froze for a second, when I could move I grabbed the sheet and hollered for Castiel to get his sorry ass back. When he place his hand on Sam's head piss me off, if I wasn't talking to Matt I would have told him to get the fuck away. Seeing the blood seeping through the sheets onto my hands, I panic I'm sitting there watching Sam bleeding out and couldn't stop it. I'm sorry Dean that I almost lost your brother cause I had to get Castiel away from us, if I went straight into the room I could have prevented this from happening. I still don't know how Sam got a hold of the knife, since I check his bag real good for any kind of sharp objects."

"Jackson I really don't blame you for what happen to Sammy-well a little part does, you are right about checking up on him instead of talking with Asstiel. To be honest with you and myself I would have done the same thing, I would had to make sure the threat was gone before I check up on Sam. I would have drove the Angel blade up his ass instead of his arm, would be more painful that way before I kill him. He's days are number mark my words on that one Jackson and Matt, no one hurts Sammy this bad thinking it's okay to kill himself. As for the knife Jackson that he carries around with him since I gave it to him, he keeps it deep inside his bag so no one can find it except for him. I knew where it is this whole time since I found it, haven't told Sammy that I knew where it was but he knew I did. He was so excited when I gave it to him for his thirteenth birthday; he always wanted the Swiss Army Knife since it's the one that MacGyver had. He love all the tools, bottle opener, can opener, knife and other things, telling me that it would come in handy on the hunts with all the cool stuff."

"On his birthday I went to the K-Mart by the motel we were at, he was in the room sulking cause our dad wasn't there like he promise. I told Sammy I was going to get some lunch for us he just shrug his shoulders, on the walk Bobby called if he could talk to Sam since he didn't answer his phone. Told him what I was doing to cheer up my little brother who's unhappy at the moment, Bobby knew where we were staying he was heading there to celebrate Sam's birthday. He met me at the K-Mart to get the knife Sammy wanted, since I was too young to get it wasn't going to stop me from getting it. I gave him the money to buy it for me and to have them wrapped it up, we went to the book isle so Bobby could get him his favorite one. On the way back we stopped off at a bakery to get Sammy a cake, to the diner to get his favorite lunch he normally don't get cause of dad. We pulled up to the hotel and I saw Sammy through the window, I could tell he was crying he was that upset with our dad. Bobby and I walked into the room not even looking over at Sammy giving him some time, when he got himself calm down he walked over and stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes went big when he saw the cake with Happy Birthday Sammy, looking over at Bobby with tears back in his eyes before he hugged him. We sat at the table to have our lunch he was happy to have his favorite sandwich with fries, after we ate I came back out of the kitchen with the gift I got him. Bobby gave Sammy his book Jurassic Park he loved the movie; I sat next to him handing him my gift waiting for him to open it. When he open the box I thought for sure his eyes would fall out of his head, he let out the loudest squeal before giving me a hug that almost took us both to the floor. He told us both that he thought everyone forgot his birthday; our hearts broke when he said that we both promise him we wouldn't. Sorry for going down memory lane guys that was one of Sammy's best birthdays."

"Don't be sorry Dean glad to hear what you and Sam did as kids and young adults, mine are way to boring to talked about since it was just me-that's not funny Jackson."

Matt glared at his friend with no heat in his eyes, when he told him it might put them to sleep.

"Hey Matt you are the one who told us it would be boring, we just might fall asleep hearing about your past."

"That's true Matt tell us a good bed time story-hey I'm only kidding Matt."

Dean tried not to smile when Matt got up and walked inside the cabin, telling his friends a thing or two.

"Fine be that way I'm going inside to make me some lunch, you two morons can sit there and starve as long as I care."

Matt walked inside with a smile on his face hearing his two friends picking on him, did him good to hear both men laughing.

As Matt got all the food out to make a sandwich is when Dean and Jackson came inside, Dean went to the bedroom to check up on Sam before heading to the kitchen. Bringing the meat, cheese, mayo, mustard, bread, chips and drinks to the table, Jackson grabbed plates for everyone to make their sandwiches. Sitting at the table all three men made their meals settling down to eat, during their meal no-one spoke a word enjoying the quietness that's in the room. After they were finished Dean cleared off the table asking Jackson to check up on Sam, he didn't miss the surprise stunned look on the man's face. At the time Dean was too pissed off at what happen to his brother to forgive him, now after what he heard he knew it wasn't really his friends fault. Washing the dishes he put them in the strainer to air dry while he went to check up on Sam, as he walked into the room he saw that Jackson was done checking over his brother. Waiting for his friend they both walked out of the room to talk, Dean needed to know how Sammy was doing.

"How is Sammy doing Jackson?"

"He's holding his own Dean his body took a shock with the blood lost, it's going to take time for him to come from this. The next two days he'll be sleeping so don't be to alarm if he don't wake up, I know that is going to be hard for you Dean. Sam needs all the rest he can get to help his body recovery from the stress, he was pretty shaken up on what he heard from that asshole of an Angel."

"What ever that ass of an Angel told Sammy is a lie Jackson I wouldn't do anything to harm my brother, not in the way that bastard told Sammy I could never take his life. Why do I have a feeling there's more to this Jackson?"

"Asshat told Sam that you killed those two hunters for you own ego, you didn't do it for Sam being safe from them. He said that you slaughter them like a pig then burning their body to get rid of the evidence, please tell me that some of that isn't true Dean I know some is."

Jackson saw how Dean flinch when he told him about Tim and Reggie, and what Castiel told Sam that was part of a lie. Seeing his eyes burned with hate and angered, which he knew it's not to him, he waited to see what Dean would say even though he knew the answer.

"Part of what asshat said is true Jackson I did slaughter Tim and Reggie like pigs they are, not in a way that Asstiel said it to Sammy. When I found out what they did to my brother and how proud they were off it, I saw red and made them both suffer like Sammy suffered at their own hands. I did what they did to Sammy carved, burned, shock, whipped and water board, tied it him up a piece of meat on a hook. When I asked that piece of shit Reggie on how many times they water board Sam, after I did it too him five times pouring water over his head. Hearing him gasp for air I can hear Sammy doing the same, when he begged for me to stop I didn't cause they didn't for Sammy when he beg. When he told me two times a day for five days I saw red, when I was done blood and organs were all over the floor. I didn't have one once of remorse for what I did to those animals in the basement, I salt and burned their bodies and my clothes to keep Sammy safe."

"No Jackson I did not do it for my own ego or for myself, I made them suffer for what they did to Sammy. When I heard their screams of pain I could see Sammy screaming out in pain, I didn't let up at all I took my time to dish out my pay back. I didn't do it for myself Jackson even if I really wanted to, for all the hurt I cause my brother before they got a hold of him. Now Sammy is safe from their vengeful hate they had on him, they won't be able to come back to haunt or hurt my brother."

"As for Benny and Castiel their days are numbered my friend mark my word, I would have gone after Benny had a lead on him two states away. I remember what Jefferson told me to do before I fell asleep, was to go to Sam don't make the same mistake he did with you. He really wanted to go back and talked to you Jackson, that was more important to him then going with those hunters. I know how he was feeling at that moment my friend, I could feel that burned for vengeance against that blood-sucking freak. I'm not saying that is what Jefferson was feeling at the time he left, we both know your brother he can say no to someone who is hurt."

"You are right, Dean, about that with Jeff he can't say no to someone who is hurt, I wish I never said those three last words to him. That is something I can not take back now with him being gone, wish I could talked to him now letting him know I didn't mean it."

"He knows Jackson that you didn't mean it he don't hold it against you my friend, he wishes he didn't say those words to you either cause you are not selfish. That is enough of this don't need to cry another river my friend, let's go see what Matt is up to in the kitchen he's been to quiet in their."

Giving his friend a wink and smirk they both laughed as the headed to the kitchen, to check up on Matt who was putting away the supplies he brought. Dean looked through the bags on the table shaking his head at what he saw; Matt brought enough supplies to fix up an army of people instead of one person. Helping him putting away more gauze, tape, antibiotics, painkillers, fluids, thermometer, rubbing alcohol, peroxide, syringes, vials, blood pressure cup, stethoscope, ice packs, and a extra liter of blood. Matt could see the concern look in Dean's eyes at all the things he grabs from the hospital; walking over to him he had to let him know it's okay.

"Dean I wasn't sure what I would be walking into when I got the call from Jackson, so I grabbed what we thought we would need and then some. I wanted to be prepared for what I was walking into since I knew it would be bad, they way Jackson sounded I knew it wouldn't be a pretty sight. I have to put this bag in the ice chest to stay cold, wasn't sure how many liters Sam would need so I grabbed five of them."

"Matt we could give Sam that other liter of blood with a slow drip line, his blood pressure is still to low for my liking. Don't worried Dean Sam would be fine without it he's on fluids to help bring it up, since we got the extra liter it will help him bring up his pressure."

"Don't scare me like that Jackson when it comes to Sammy well being my heart almost stopped, let's go give that to my little brother so it can help him with his blood loss."

Dean followed Matt and Jackson into Sam's room to give him the extra liter of blood, putting it on a slow drip so it would last until tomorrow. As Dean and Matt check Sam over to make sure his sutures are holding, and there no infection in the wounds Jackson stepped out of the room. Walking to the back door he headed outside to be alone, walking up to the lake he scanned over the surface of the water. He could feel a burning behind his eyes as he blink to stop the tears from coming, seeing his vision blurred he let the tears slide down his cheeks. Thinking on everything Dean has told him about his brother Jefferson, Jackson had to let him know how he is feeling right now. Knowing that when a person is on the other side they can hear you, he had to get a few things off his chest about his older brother. Taking a deep shaky breath he gather his nerves to talk to him, he felt his heart ache over the lost of his brother.

"Jefferson, I know you can hear me even with you being on the other side with Jim, what I have to say too you will be hard for me. Cause you are not here with me by my side giving me the comfort I need, by having your hand on my shoulder or stand next to me with our shoulders touching. To start this off I still have some hate towards dad for what he did, I know you probably still don't believe me on the abuse I got from him. That is something that I would never make up brother that year of being beaten, I wasn't a son to that man as you think I was just a disappointment in his eyes. I'm still hurt that you thought I would lie about that, still a little angry that you just ignored the signs when you were there. I don't wish ill on that man or that he's in hell, even if that is the place he needs to be in my eyes still. With that being said what really hurt me the most was to have my older brother, whom I looked up to as my hero when I was a kid. To tell me that I'm dead to you that we are no longer brothers, you don't love me as your younger brother broke me Jefferson. That day you broke my heart, soul and spirit saying those hurtful words, I myself wasn't so innocent either with my words to you that hurt. Your words hurt me more then you'll ever know brother, more then the pain I felt when I woke up, going through the therapy. That pain I could dealt with since it was physical and in time it went away, the emotional pain you cause I still feel today like lead weighing me down."

"That pain Jefferson is so set deep inside of me that it never goes away after all these years, what makes it worse is thinking that I hated you before you died. No matter how hurt I felt or how much pain I was in from you, I never could hate you big brother no matter what you said or did. What made my heart ache when I saw your body is that I thought that you hated me for what I said out of anger? All these years with the heaviness I felt thinking you hated me, or that I hated you put a lot of weight on my shoulders. After what I heard from Dean I know that none of that is not true with us, that you wanted to come back home to talked about our brotherhood. I know how you are Jefferson always putting others before yourself even me, I should have know you didn't want to go to them. My anger and hurt was still to strong to believe that, I wish I never said those three last words to you Jeff. Each day goes by that I do regret those words out of anger, you were right I was being a selfish asshole of a bastard."

"To hear Dean said that you still love me after all these years of hurt, angered and hate, that you know that I didn't mean any of those words I said to you. Something inside of me broke all the resentment I had inside of me, felt like hot lava was running through my veins burning my skin. I felt it leave my soul and body alone with the pain, to be filled with your love burning white hot inside of me Jefferson. I love you so damn much big brother, and miss you so damn much that I can't breath, is all I can do to keep myself together. I wish you were here right to comfort me with your hugs and words, I miss that more then you ever know Jeff. I want my big brother back in my life-"

Jackson stopped when he felt a warm comforting presents around him, like someone was hugging him close to their chest. Looking around he saw no one in sight he was just him by himself, and there was still the warmth around him calming his fears. He knew it was Jefferson telling him he's okay in his own way a brother can, hearing a soft warm voice in his ear telling him "Jackson I love you little brother always, will always be right by your side Jack." Those were the words Jefferson always told him when he needed comfort, would always wrapped him in a tight warm hug when he said it. Hearing his brother voice, feeling his warmth around him, Jackson felt a sob coming from his chest. He let the tears come, as the warmth stayed with him even when he sat on the ground, to him it was Jeff helping him to sit. He didn't stop the sobs that came from his chest from the words he just heard, what stopped the sobs is when the warmth left him leaving him cold and shivering. Looking around he hope to see his brother standing there, he was crushed when there was no one there but him. Feeling a hand on his shoulder he turned quick to see Matt, he hope it would've been his brother so he could see him. He glance one more time in hopes to see Jeff standing off in the distance, his heart fell when he didn't see anything but trees, grass and lake. Glancing back at Matt who was now kneeling next to him, he could see that his friend was worried about him crying by himself. Clearing his throat he had to tell Matt on what happen, he knew deep down it was Jefferson who was here to comfort him.

"Jack, are you okay, what happened?"

"Matt-Jefferson was just here I felt his presents in a warm hug, I heard his voice Matt-he told me that he loves me, and he'll always be by my side. I'm not going crazy or imagining things Matt I felt my brother, he calm my fears and pains from all those years. You got to believe me Matt my brother was here, he don't hate me he still loves me as his little brother."

Matt saw the calmness in his friend that he hasn't seen in years, and the love set deep in his eyes for his brother. He knew that Jackson wasn't lying that he felt his brother being here with him; this is one thing that Jack would never lie about. Shaking his head to let him know that he believes him on what he said, he pulled his friend into a hug to let him know that he's there for him.

"I believe you Jackson when you said that your brother was here, giving you the comfort that you needed from a big brother. Let it all out my friend get it all out in your tears, I'm here for you Jack always."

Matt sat next to his friend holding him in a tight hug to comfort him, looking up at the sky he whisper a thank you to Jefferson. "Thank you Jefferson for coming to comfort your brother, telling him that you love him he needed that."

Standing in the middle of the meadow with longing in his eyes Jefferson smile sadly, he wanted to be in Matt's place as a person not spirit. When he heard Jackson talking to him he had to come to see him, listening to his brother talked on things that happen in the past brought some anger. Which melted into love and pride for his brother on how he feels, hearing on how he misses his older brother wishing him was there. Jefferson had to comfort his little brother even being a spirit, it was hard to hear him cry. He always knew how to comfort his brother without saying a word to him, just holding him helps with the fears and pains he's in. He had to let Jack know how he really feels about him, that the love he has never had change. It was hard for him to walk away from his crying sibling, who sought comfort from his presents of being big brother. Feeling more then seeing Jim standing next to him he had to let him know why, not taking his eyes off of Jackson feeling jealous of Matt for being in his place. He had to tell Jim even though he already knew what he did for Jackson, wishing he were there in person holding him.

"Jim, I had to come here to help my little brother he needed my comfort, I gave it to him with a hug telling him that I love him. Don't care if it gets me in trouble and put in heaven jail, when it comes to my brother shedding tears I can't deal with that."

"Jefferson, I'm not here to yell or bring you back to heaven, there's something you need to see to bring that anger to an end. You do love Jackson with your whole heart and soul that will never change; you need to release that anger you have for him about your father. Come with me to find out the truth if you ever want to see Jackson again, holding onto that angered you will loose your brother for good. You can be jealous of Matt all you want with him being in your spot, don't give me that look young man I know you."

"Even being a spirit Jim you are bossy and know to much about me and Jack, what is it that you need to show me? You are not going to tell me are you, well let's go can't take my brother crying want to go hug him again."

Turning around Jim and Jefferson headed off further into the meadow until they disappeared, what Jim had to show Jefferson will rock the man about his dad.

~~~SPN~~~

 **HERE'S THE PART THAT WILL CONTAIN THE ABUSE JACKSON WENT THROUGH.**

Standing next to Jim Jefferson looked around the room they were standing in, stepping further in he glance around seeing familiar pictures of him and Jackson. On the left side of the room was a blue warn couch with the coffee table in front of it, next to the couch was the recliner that his dad would always sit in. On the other side of the couch was a lamp his mom brought before she pass away, on the other side of the room was the old T.V on a cabinet with a VCR. Checking the rest of the room seeing the light yellow painted walls, to the cream color rug that covered the whole floor with a throw rug between table and T.V. Brought back so many good memories of him, Jackson and their parents being back in their childhood home, moving to the kitchen he smile sadly remember how his mom would hum while she cook. Walking back into the room where Jim was he looked over at his friend, wondering why they were here he was going to ask when they door open.

Walking into the room was a seventeen-year old Jackson who was coming from school, with his backpack hanging from his left shoulder. Shutting the door he could see his brother nervously check the room over, placing his bag on the couch he headed to the kitchen to get a drink. Coming back into the living room he watch his brother sit on the couch, hearing their father's voice he watch his brother tense with fear. Wondering why his little brother would be so scare at the sound of their father, coming from his bedroom their dad walked into the room drunk as a skunk. Standing there he watch to see what would happen between his family members, he can see how Jackson move away from the man with fear in his eyes. The older man stood over a frighten Jackson with hate burning bright in his eyes, which in turned made Jefferson stepped forward to help his brother. Jim pulling him back to the window stopped him; this was something that Jefferson had to see on what Jackson went through. Listening to what their dad was saying to his kid brother before the fist came, which took what air Jeff had out of his lungs if that was possible. Listening to the two men Jefferson angered grow to the man who was supposed to keep Jack safe, here he is beating the crap out of his little brother who was begging him to stop.

"Why were you late Jackson?" The man asked in an angry tone fueled with to much alcohol.

"I had to stay late for class to finish my homework I didn't do last night." Jackson spoke in a low quiet voice.

"Why didn't you do your homework last night boy? I'm asking you a question answer when I talk to you."

"I tried to get my work done last night dad, you kept asking me to do other things, when I didn't you would yell at me."

"Don't put the blame on me if you are to lazy to get your homework done, why are your eyes glazed over are you doing drugs."

"What! No I'm not doing drugs dad I'm tried went to bed late last night, trying to get my homework done for class. When I got there it wasn't done all the way, so I had to stay late to finish my work."

"Don't lie to me Jackson you are doing drugs at school with your friends, that is why your eyes a glazed over right now. What did I tell you about doing them young man, what do you think you mom or brother would think. How many times have I told you to come straight home from school, you just don't listen do you do I have to beat it into you."

"Dad, I told you the truth I had to do my work after class before the teacher let me go, no I'm not doing drugs how many times do I have to say it. Why don't you believe me when I tell you the truth?-"

"That's it young man I had it with you and your lies you keep telling me, get over here so I can teach you a lesson. Don't make me come after you young man-I mean it Jackson get your ass over here-that's it you bastard you are going to get a beating you'll never forget."

Jefferson watch in horror as the man he looked up to and loved, chase his brother around the room with hate in his eyes. Seeing how scared and afraid his brother is trying to keep away from the man, telling him he's saying the truth as he begged his dad not to hit him. Only to have the man grabbed his brother's hair pulling him hard against the wall, listening to him telling Jack what's going to happen, as his brother begged him to stop.

"Dad, I'm telling you the truth I'm not high on drugs-please dad stop and listen to me-not lying to you why don't you believe me. Dad please stop you don't-ow that hurts no please don't-stop dad please stop."

Jefferson watch as the man he looked up to hit, kick and whipped his brother, as the young man begged him to stop. It only fueled more hits and kicks to his younger brother as he laid on the floor, what added more heat to Jefferson is when the man stomp on his brother's leg hard. As the older man stepped away from his badly beaten son, he told the young man how much his mom would hate him for being weak. Jefferson watch as he dad walked out of the house leaving the man on the floor, hearing his brothers painful sobs broke his heart to the young man. Turning to Jim with sadness in his eyes alone with tears, how could he not believe his own brother when he saw those bruises? He knew that answer before it even thought of it, cause he looked up to his dad believed in the man saw no wrong in him. If he was in human forum he would have gotten sick at the bloody mess his brother was in, seeing and hearing the hurt in Jackson when he told him hurt him deep. Now he knows what his brother went through at the hands of the monster, he don't see him as his father anymore saw him as an animal. He felt his anger burned deep in him on what he saw, now he needs to make it right with his little brother some how.

 **ENDS HERE**

~~~SPN~~~

Matt stayed on the ground holding his friend close to his chest, he can tell these tears and sobs are different from the other ones. When he and Dean held Jackson as he sob on the porch after hearing about Jefferson, those tears were from all the hurt he had bottle inside of him from the pain. These tears and sobs are from knowing that his brother didn't hate him, that his brother loved him and is still with him. He knew to that there was more to these two break downs from his good friend; it was not just of Jefferson it has a lot to do with Sam. Knowing that his friend is blaming himself on what happen to the younger brother, seeing him like that on the floor messed up his friends mind. Being lost in his own thoughts he didn't hear Dean running up to them, not until he felt the man's hand on his shoulder. Watching as he kneel down next to them with worried in his eyes on Jackson, he had to let Dean know what Jackson told him.

Dean watch as Jackson left the room after he check Sammy over with Matt, hearing the back door open and close he knew his friend needed to be alone. Watching as Matt gave the last liter of blood to his brother, he put it on a slow drip to help bring up Sam's pressure. Checking the man's vital signs he didn't like how low they are, knowing the blood will help out his friend bring them back up. He too saw Jackson left the room to go outside, he will give his friend some time to be by himself before he checks up on him. Feeling more then seeing Matt leave Dean sat next to Sam to have his own check, he knew his brother better then anyone he will know when Sam will awake before anyone else would. Coming from the room Dean looked around for Matt and Jackson, seeing them nowhere he glance out at the porch. Seeing it empty he went to the back door opening it up what he saw got him worried, there was Matt holding a crying Jackson on the ground next to the lake. Running over he kneel down to check his friend over, seeing the look in Matt's eyes he waited to see what had happen.

"Jackson fine Dean these tears are happy ones for him, he told me that he felt Jefferson presents, even heard him talk to him. I believe him Dean when he told me he felt his brother, this is one thing that Jack won't lie about."

"It-It's true Dean I did feel Jefferson love and protection around me, he told me that he loves me-"

Jackson couldn't say anything else when his emotions were over whelming him; he has so much pain lifted from him that he felt so weak. Having all that weight of guilt with him for so long that when it left him, he now feels like a day old colt trying to get on his legs to walk. Letting his friends know he was ready to get up, he needed both of them to help him to the cabin where Matt took him to bed. Jackson would have argue over it if he wasn't so exhausted from all the crying, once when his head hit the pillows he was out for the count. He didn't feel Dean taking off his shoes and socket, or Matt taking off his coat, before he covered him with a blanket. Both men went out into the living room to talk about what comes to mind, while they waited for Jackson to wake and dinner to be made.

Two days has pass since Jackson had his emotional break down about Jefferson, Dean kept asking him and Matt about Sam not waking up. Both men told Dean that it's up to Sam when he is ready to wake, his body went through a hell of a shock on what happen with cutting himself. They both can see that Dean was going crazy as the time went by, they both told Dean that his pressure is back up, his color is back to normal. All men went to bed after checking Sam over one more time that evening, no matter what they told Dean wasn't comforting the older brother nerves. They both said their good nights to the man in question; as the both headed for their rooms they both said a little prayer about Sam.

Early the next morning Matt and Jackson were awoke by Dean's panic yells, both men ran to Sam's room to see what had happen during the night. Once when they came in two things they saw that worried them, one was Dean in full panic mode, two Sam was awake having a panic attack. Matt could see the fear in Sam's eyes as he looked at Dean, knowing that he had to get Dean out he grabbed the man. He had to fight Dean all the way out the door letting Jackson calm Sam down, as the walked into the living room he heard Jackson telling Sam to breath.

Leading Dean to the kitchen table to sit on the chair was easier then he thought, which in a way scared the older man. He had to go help Jackson with Sam to get his breathing under control, grabbing a syringe with a sedative he ran back into the room. Rushing to the bed he drew up the right amount he would need, waiting until Jackson got the oxygen mask on him is when he gave Sam the sedative. Both men sat with Sam calming him down from his attack he just had, seeing his breathing slowly going back to normal they both kept it up. Watching as his eyes slowly closed and his breathing back to normal, Jackson sat a little longer to make sure Sam was a sleep. Seeing his breathing even out is when Jackson stood up to leave, what stop him was Sam grabbing his hand holding him still. Both men looked over at the man in bed, seeing his eyes open a slit Jackson could see Sam licking his lips. Leaning down both men listen carefully to what Sam had to say, what they heard broke both men heart to pieces.

"P-pl's-D'n-wnts-me-dead."

Was all Sam got out before he drifted off to sleep leaving both men in tears, Sam really thinks that Dean wants to kill him was to much for both men. Both were angry in there own ways and it was at one person/thing, Jackson wanted to hunt that damn angel down for what he said to Sam. Standing up the two friends walked out of the room to check up on Dean, who was sitting at the table with his hands holding his head. Hearing his friends walking up to him the older brother looked up to them, with tears running down his checks he asked them on thing.

"Sammy thinks I want to kill him"

TBC


End file.
